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Jason made it onto the basketball team and Ultra-Satan won a poetry competition |
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Oct 1, 2018 02:55
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There are three Ultra-Satans in his class, so at school they call him Ultra-Satan R. |
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Oct 1, 2018 02:56
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I'm really tired of people singling out and bullying one of my sons just because he has an evil name. (a group of kids walk by and wave) Hi, Ultra-Satan! How's it going? (they start making chainsaw noises and one of them even pulls out a hockey mask) Hi, JASOOOOON! See what I mean? |
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Oct 1, 2018 03:03
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google THIS posted:I'm really tired of people singling out and bullying one of my sons just because he has an evil name. |
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Oct 1, 2018 03:06
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FactsAreUseless posted:There are three Ultra-Satans in his class, so at school they call him Ultra-Satan R. There's another Sailor Moon in my son's class so they're called Sailor Moon R and he's Sailor Moon SuperS.
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Oct 1, 2018 07:25
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google THIS posted:I'm really tired of people singling out and bullying one of my sons just because he has an evil name. |
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Oct 1, 2018 13:50
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google THIS posted:I'm really tired of people singling out and bullying one of my sons just because he has an evil name. |
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Oct 1, 2018 14:41
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Well, "ultra" comes from the Proto-Indo-European root word ol-tero, a derivation of the suffix al, meaning beyond. The name is intended to indicate that our wonderful son lies forever beyond Satan's reach. I don't know why people aren't getting it. |
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Oct 1, 2018 14:53
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well, it all started when my father told the king i was so good with the spinning wheel that i could even spin gold. the king locked me up with a wheel and heaps of straw and told me to spin gold. well, naturally i couldn't. but a strange little man appeared and said "for the price of your necklace i shall turn all this straw into gold". well, the king was going to execute me if the room wasn't filled with gold! so i went for it. and the strange little man turned all the straw into gold, and i was saved. until the next day, when the king locked me up in another room filled with even MORE straw. I was distraught! but wouldn't you know it, the little man showed up again. he said "if you give me your ring, i shall turn all this straw into gold". and, well, it was that or my life. so he took the ring and turned the straw into gold. i should have known, but the next day the king locked me up in the biggest chamber of his dungeon, and twenty men brought so much straw you could hardly see past it. i hoped and prayed the little man would appear once more, and wouldn't you know it? he did! but the little man said "you have no more trinkets, so there is nothing i can do for you!" i wept and wailed, i offered him all the fortune i could ever make, to no avail. but the little man paused a moment, and said "i have an idea." "i will spin this gold and save your life, and all i require in return is that you name your firstborn after me. but beware: the name is a heavy burden to bear, and he will forever be spurned and ostracized by his peers simply due to his cursed name!!" anyway, Ultra Satan, that's why your brother has such a stupid loving name. |
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Oct 1, 2018 14:53
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~*
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Meanwhile, the Johnsons named their son Super-Christ, and they've been getting nothing but praise. On top of Christ? Above Christ? That family needs ministry. |
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Oct 1, 2018 14:59
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Jason is launched via a nuclear explosion into a black hole, where he will never be seen again. Seconds later, there is a tap on the nuclear launch director's shoulder. It's Jason. He was dishevelled, radioactive, and spewing cosmic rays, but he was BACK... That's my boy!
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Oct 1, 2018 15:15
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Sometimes I get so flustered that I call then Ultra-Jason and Satan. Boy do I feel silly then. |
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Oct 1, 2018 15:48
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google THIS posted:I'm really tired of people singling out and bullying one of my sons just because he has an evil name. |
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Oct 1, 2018 16:09
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Me: Ultra-Satan C̷̯͎̓h̴̩̘͑̇c̸̡̱̿į̴̨͕͇̔̀ȁ̷͇͛͊b̶̜͑͘t̸̗̠̬͆̉͜o̶̜͔̥͉̒͆̉͝c̷͇̮͕̪̿j̴͚̜̦͝ạ̸͖͇̺͛̅b̵͓̮̙̹̃̅́̕f̶̨̮̼͒̌̈́̕o̶̢͓̯̠͐v̷͇͍́̀ THIS, you march your butt right in this house! US: Uh oh, I'd better go guys. He used my True Name. |
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Oct 1, 2018 17:07
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*principal calls parents for meeting about Ultra Satan and Jason* principal: do you KNOW what your son Ultra Satan did today? *parents nervously look at each other, dad thinking about the blood lake* dad: haha, probably something. . .something innocent and fun! *principal holds up peanut butter and jelly* he brought THIS INTO A PEANUT FREE SCHOOL *mom begins to wail* ---------------- |
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Oct 1, 2018 17:39
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"Now son, there comes a time in every boy's life where he goes through changes. You might notice that you have more body hair, your voice deepening, bigger horns, but this is perfectly natural. We also want you to know that if you feel any... urges, like the need to begin an unholy millennia of blood, we support you but you gotta do it safely." "Same goes to you Jason, I know you've been at my good olive oil."
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Oct 1, 2018 18:13
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FactsAreUseless posted:There are three Ultra-Satans in his class, so at school they call him Ultra-Satan R.
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Oct 1, 2018 19:30
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google THIS posted:I'm really tired of people singling out and bullying one of my sons just because he has an evil name. Perfect!!! |
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Oct 2, 2018 01:34
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"hi, what's your name" "BLOOD FUCKLER" "wow, that's cool! i think we're going to be good friends. and you, what's your name?" "I'm Jefferson Lee IV, son of Jefferson Lee III, of Lee & Lee, Attorneys at Law. " "well, uh, let's not move too quickly. We should stick to a no-name basis for now"
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Oct 2, 2018 04:53
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Jason is an avid church goer while Ultra-Satan is very involved in their nondenominational youth group |
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Oct 2, 2018 05:07
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ULTRA-SATIN? IS THAT SOME KINDA STRIPPER NAME? Grandpa, it's Ultra-Satan and it is a very old name. Also, you need to turn on your hearing aids, you're yelling again. WHAT'S THAT? SHE'S GOT AIDS? WELL IT SHOULDN'T SURPRISE YOU CONSIDERING THE NAME YOU GAVE HER. I REMEMBER STRIPPERS BUT OURS WERE ALL NAMED JADE OR LEXXXI. WHY A GUY COULD... Grandpa! You're being offensive. People don't talk about stuff like that nowadays. As I was saying, Ultra-Satan is my son. Your grandson. JASON? WHERE'S JASON? Jason's at camp with his mom, but hopefully he'll come visit you soon...
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Oct 2, 2018 06:21
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my new grandson, Ultra-Satan Jr.
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Oct 2, 2018 12:36
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Ultra-Satan picks up his latte from the counter. His cup has "Ultra-Nathan" written on the side. He stops a minute and thinks, "I don't hate it."
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Oct 2, 2018 16:16
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when my son was born i thought about naming him jason but everyone made fun of me for picking such a dumb loving name so i named him Lucifer Dickmangler instead way way better, nobody can come up with a dumb nickname out of that one. he's even got straight As! my younger son, Jesus Christ, though...people just won't leave him alone. he's a bullied child. loving idiot Jesus Christ.
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Oct 2, 2018 17:02
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I want to write a song about our son Jason and our upcoming new baby, but what rhymes with "Jason?" |
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Oct 2, 2018 22:27
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google THIS posted:I want to write a song about our son Jason and our upcoming new baby, but what rhymes with "Jason?" Ultra-Saison, Ultra-Satan's new light summery beer
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Oct 2, 2018 22:40
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Me llamo Satan Ultra |
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Oct 4, 2018 19:47
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Now listen son, you just have to get used to being the third most evil child on the playground. But you don't have to be forever - do you think your namesake just sat around and sulked that he wasn't the most evil person in the world? No! He pulled himself up by his bootstraps, and by golly, managed to give the world over nightmares of man's capacity for cruelty. Now tomorrow when Jason or this Ultra Satan come around to try and out-evil you, you hold your head high and remember that while their names are pretty evil, they can't hold a candle to you - because your name is Mega Hitler. |
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Oct 4, 2018 21:53
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albany academy posted:Now listen son, you just have to get used to being the third most evil child on the playground. But you don't have to be forever - do you think your namesake just sat around and sulked that he wasn't the most evil person in the world? No! He pulled himself up by his bootstraps, and by golly, managed to give the world over nightmares of man's capacity for cruelty. Now tomorrow when Jason or this Ultra Satan come around to try and out-evil you, you hold your head high and remember that while their names are pretty evil, they can't hold a candle to you - because your name is Mega Hitler. |
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Oct 4, 2018 22:08
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| # ? Jun 10, 2024 03:53 |
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google THIS posted:Me: Ultra-Satan C̷̯͎̓h̴̩̘͑̇c̸̡̱̿į̴̨͕͇̔̀ȁ̷͇͛͊b̶̜͑͘t̸̗̠̬͆̉͜o̶̜͔̥͉̒͆̉͝c̷͇̮͕̪̿j̴͚̜̦͝ạ̸͖͇̺͛̅b̵͓̮̙̹̃̅́̕f̶̨̮̼͒̌̈́̕o̶̢͓̯̠͐v̷͇͍́̀ THIS, you march your butt right in this house! |
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Oct 6, 2018 21:01
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