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 After cheating in the detective competition, Nell, 778, Asper, and Slakes were found out by the Game-master, and are going to be questioned! But what's going on in the Game-master office, and who clued them in? [BGM: Office Games]  The fools... didn't they realize... we could hear everything that was broadcast over their headsets?!!   Ah yes, they are fools indeed. They're called 'T.A.D.S.'? Yes. They were so close to contact, too. We need to get their focus off us, and back onto the competition. Okay, we've figured out how they did it: Roel used her sensitive hearing to pinpoint where the voices were coming from, but she found the Voice-master instead. They're all cheating... to protect Red July. Silly of them, very silly. Why would we eliminate the best detective in the contest just because she has a headache? ...Well, we'd definitely do that to a low-ranking detective... but Red July? No, mate. No way. They think they're so clever. It amuses me, ha ha ha! They didn't get suspicious when we didn't fix the lights. Some detectives they are! Okay, well, what'll we do? Give them a slap on the wrist? Kick them out of the contest? They're all great detectives, we'd be the ones losing something. I think we should give them what they want. They want to talk to us? Fine. Let them. Then we'll continue on as planned. No. What do you disagree about, Kane? I agree with you 60 percent. But I don't think we should just let them continue with their 'T.O.D.' group, conspiring against us. They managed to figure out where the secret microphones are... someday they might find where the secret secret microphones are hidden. Or the secret secret cameras. Then what? We're stuck in this room... we can't satisfactorily answer their questions. They will find us eventually. The only thing that will work... is to infiltrate their group. Hmm... I like that idea. They'll get to meet one of us... but they won't even realize it! I like this idea as well. But you know what this means, right? We all blanched. We have to ask The Fifth? Yeah. Drat. I was hoping it would be something else. ...We'll draw straws, the loser has to talk to him.I pretended to grab some straws. Oh look, it's Mellie again.He hadn't drawn a straw not even a pretend one. Whenever there was something difficult to be done, we always made Mellie do it. Huh, you'd think once or twice it would be me, but it is always Mellie! Oh well!  Mm... what? While you were asleep, we draw straws. You have to talk to The Fifth. We're sending you in to spy on the detectives. Whuh? Huh? How will you do all that?? We'll figure it out as we go, that's sure to be the best way! Don't over think it Mellie, just go and ask him. Whatever. I'll do it, I guess. Even though you're obviously lying about the straws. The straws never lie, Mellie. They are extremely truthful. We trust in the straws.She sighed.  At least I don't have to breathe this stale air anymore. Maybe I'll finally be more awake. Kinda doubt it. Eat a horse, Greg.She glided to the door...   What am I doing again? Infiltrate the detective group 'T.A.D.S.' Keep them from cheating again. So... I'm gonna pose as a detective? Yes. Cool. I'll need an outfit, though. Just grab a trench-coat from the hotel rack, there's like, a million of them. Aye aye, captain...She left.  Wonder how many times we'll be able to do that before she catches on. Clark, she knows. She just lets us get away with it because we're enormous bullies. Oh, right.I wish I'd had the foresight to realize our improvisational approach was going to lead to massive problems... but I'm often lacking such profound insights. So, I won't be too hard on myself.
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May 15, 2024 01:17
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| # ? May 17, 2024 08:25 |
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These are exceptionally low-rent masterminds.
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May 15, 2024 01:48
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Yeah, it turns out if you keep yelling "We're cheating!" in a dark room, people can still hear you... Are we sure those are the best detectives that can be found?
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May 15, 2024 06:16
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 Game-master Mellie is sent to speak with the mysterious fifth Game-master, to request that she be sent into the contest to prevent T.A.D.S. from finding the Game-masters. [BGM: The Fifth]   Telegrams move me a mile. Turning away women clue! This was The Fifth. He was usually pretty quiet in his little room. It wasn't a closet, but it was almost that size. Radios surrounded him on all sides. They were set to channels playing only static. The Fifth had a... weird way of communicating. The other Game-masters always sent me because they said I understood him the most, but they really just liked to pick on me. They'd drawn so many mustaches on my face while I was sleeping that my upper lip had a permanent dark smear on it. It was boring in the office, so everyone did their best to be entertaining. Yeah, you said not to come in a while ago. We haven't disturbed you until now. As for why I've come here... even I don't know...As it often did, my brain started to wander into tangents as I talked, every word in my sentence reminding me of a million other sentences like it. It was my Method, and it was painfully useful. ...Or usefully painless. ...A pain to use, that is. Cheering pirates heard ducks inside.I tried to untangle what he meant.... I needed to hurry it up. Um...The Fifth liked to speak in cryptic crossword clues. He was obsessed with crosswords, and puzzles, and all types of games. It was fitting... as besides being the fifth Game-master, he was also the original Game-master...  The creator of the contest. That's why we put up with him. The... detectives...Uhhhhhhh, what was a good way to explain that the detectives were cheating? Since I was good at anagrams, I decided to just go with that... Set the deceiving act out of sorts. Ah!!He seemed happy that someone had given him a clue to solve. Hmm... hmm! Hmm!! Cheating detectives? You got it, buddy. To what end? Uh oh he'd dropped the cryptic clues. Now there were a million other wordplay games he could throw my way. They're trying to speak with the Game-masters. Well. I'll stop crying in a closet and make myself useful, I guess. There's only five of us, with one brain between, and I've selfishly kept it for myself. Ohhh snap.I could never tell when he was being sarcastic or serious, so I chose to never take him seriously. You know, I invented this competition. That means I'm the cruelest person alive. You're terrible and mean. I'm the worst! And ugly. Everyone hates me. We make fun of you, all the time. Even when I'm in the room. Because you're just that despicable! This was the 'depreciation contest'. Whoever was the last to say something mean about him could talk with him further. You had to top every self-depreciating remark he made to win. I am the epitome of morons. You are the perfect model. The stupidity of the other models wore off, but you were so stupid you were beyond stupid. You became... Stuperditious.Sometimes, topping him meant creating a new word. He looked pleased with that. Relay all your information... Kindly Now In Fact Extracts. Bleh. Um... Whenever he said something that could be acronymed to 'KNIFE', it meant I had to say whatever I needed to say in knife similes. This was another good reason nobody wanted to talk to The Fifth. Greg, Clark, and Kane deserved at least two marker mustaches for this. ...And mutton chops. And goatees. Our greeter Haney betrayed us... like a backstabber stabs backs with a knife. She was working with the top-tier detectives... like a knife works with world-class chefs.It was a stretch, but it would do. They found their way to the Voice-master... like a knife misses the core of the apple. We must top them... like a knife... stops... someone's heart if you stab them with one.Now I sounded like I wanted to stab the detectives with a knife... great. It's obvious what we'll do! Hotel with grime loses cash, gains prime termites one star.Ughh. This clue didn't seem like it was an anagram... I had no idea what he meant. Hotel with grime loses cash, gains prime termites one star. I don't know what that means. Don't make me shout it, or I'll have to make it an '& lit' clue. No, no, don't shout it... um, well, the other Game-masters told me the best way would be for me to spy on the detectives directly. Go undercover in the contest and steer them away from cheating and trying to find the Game-master... Yes, that's what I was saying! Well, sorry I couldn't solve your clue in five seconds... stern autopsies get ruined.The Fifth shot me a dark look. Clarinet cop trips. You're doing it again, Bob.The easiest way to provoke him into acting normal was to call him names... really common names.  I'm not Bob, I'm Conver, the strangest name in the galaxy.[NEW BIO: Game-master Conver] Nope, your name is Bob now. Plain old Bob. Billions of Bobs out there. Fine, I'll shut up if you will. I can't shut up just yet, Bob. We need a plan of action. It's quite simple... We'll splice you into the competition. This will involve displacing another detective... but that's fine. We'll take care of it. Don't worry about a thing. Go among them and pull them apart... invert their magnets. Charge them negatively. Now excuse me, I must get back to writing this crossword... every clue uses the word 'hate', but every answer is something associated with love. Don't change the subject. How am I supposed to convince them I'm a detective? It's already the Second Stage, they all know each other. Don't change the subject back. I was done with that one. I put it aside. Goodbye. He sat back down and wrote 'I really hate this holiday' along with other assorted clues to his crossword in a notebook. I left the room to prepare for the plan, feeling more tired if that was even possible. Greg was right. An old detective coat was easy to find. The other Game-masters were waiting for me back at our makeshift office. [BGM: Ticks and Tocks]  We've been trying for the wastepaper world cup. The prize is literally a cup. There's only one in the office, and if you win you won't have to share!Greg loved boring office games. What's the word from The Fifth? Can't you tell from my shiny new detective duds? He agrees with the strategy. I am to splice myself into the competition... and break apart the Tense Detective Brigade or whatever it is. I knew The Fifth would agree. It's such an exciting idea! Does this mean I can swap desks with someone? Someone covered my desk with cats. ...Does anyone know who did that, by the way? Don't call him 'The Fifth'. It glamorizes him. Call him 'Game-master Conver'.Everyone winced. And stop doing that. Let's discuss the splice. Cool, we're all calling it the splice now. We'll put you in the Questioning Room with the cheating detectives. That'll give you a good reason to not have been in the competition before. Then you'll help them escape. Hopefully, they'll accept you into their inner circle. Great... do you need cat food? Did you do this?He indicated the cats. I was meeting Conver...He gave me a harried look, then motioned for the others to gather around. We talked for about an hour, discussing different strategies. Finally, it was time for me to leave. The Game-master office was in the hotel's basemente, so I had to climb up the stairs and go through a network of hallways that were designed to make whoever attempted to walk through them extremely disoriented. [BGM: Thinking Thoughts]  Finally, I arrived. Detectives 778, Nell, Slakes, and Asper looked toward me as I entered. They were seated at a long table in the narrow room that we called the Questioning Room. Hey, so, while I was working on this update, the dev posted a game update that changed the UI and one or two character's sprites, so things are going to look different for the rest of the LP as a result. Figured I'd say something instead of just hoping nobody'd notice.    You're the interrogator?Nell was a seemingly normal detective who the other Game-masters adored to place bets on... but she couldn't be THAT normal she'd put up with 778 for six rounds of the contest. No. I'm an interrogatee, just like you. You're a detective? I haven't seen you in the competition before. That's because I've been cooped up in the Questioning Room since the stage started. I was caught cheating. Caught cheating? So were we! How'd you do it? I don't like to talk about it. It's pretty crazy stuff. Long story. That sort of thing. At least tell us what your name tag says. I was in charge of creating all the name tags for the detectives, but I'd never had to make up one for myself. It says... #sleeper. Why that name? I'm always tired. Welcome to the club.I was better at infiltration than I thought! So, you're like Detective Ether. You fall asleep and solve the crime in your unconscious state? No, it's this really really cool method called 'Trigger Chains'. Sounds like a Power Rangers attack. But, I guess there's no helping that.I can't explain properly how weird it felt to stand in a room with people I'd only ever seen on a screen. Like meeting celebrities, I guess. Seeing their faces and movements through my own eyes was unsettling. Excuse me.I sat next to Asper. Do you wait long to be questioned? About an hour. They like to draw it out so you're as unnerved as possible when he contacts you. It's through the speaker system, though, so if you wanted to meet him, then too bad.We Game-masters knew that the detectives generally assumed two things: That the Game-master was one person, and that they were male... which made it more likely they wouldn't figure out who I really was.  Uh, my name's Detective Mellie, by the way. Thanks for asking.[NEW BIO: Detective Mellie]  I was going to ask...There was still some weird tension. I felt like I was a third wheel or something. A fifth wheel, to be specific... I'm bored. Is there something else to talk about? What's your plan? The Game-master's going to interrogate you, you know... We just won't answer any of his questions. That won't work. When the time comes to talk, you'll talk, no matter how much you don't want to. What do you mean?Nell was always asking what people meant... it was sort of her catchphrase. What will you do? You know the announcement tune?Everyone nodded. He plays it over and over. It never stops. It's torturous. Slakes looked at me incredulously. ...Really? Yup. I can't tell if you're kidding or not. Just trust me, you have to answer everything they ask. The faster the process goes, the faster you'll get back in the competition. Why're you still here, then? Uhhh I'm really tough to break, that's why.Slakes was suspicious of me... his relentless questioning was part of the reason I was getting an uneasy feeling... What could I do to make them trust me? You know what I hate? What do you hate, Mellie? How the casefile doesn't show the autopsy report! I know, right? Exactly! If we knew the results of the report, the case would be so easy to solve! It makes no sense, because in a real investigation you would have access to that report... it's just a cheap way for the Game-master to force us to figure out the method of death... Yeah, it's so transparent.Ah, good, my plan was working. Our announcement chime sounded... *ding dong diiiing!*   Greetings, cheaters.It was probably Greg, since the others made him do the boring stuff when I wasn't around. You all know why you've been sent to the Questioning Room. But we don't... at least, not fully. The main point upon which we are curious is... why did you let yourselves get caught this time?[BGM: Upside Down]  The table was lined with little electronic displays, one in front of each of us, and buttons alongside them.  The displays lit up with the words '$5000 left'. The amount of money went down by fifty every second. Do you get it? Press the button, and rat out your friends. The first to do so gets all the money displayed. Be quick, or it'll all be gone in a matter of seconds. Well, this is new.778 immediately pressed his button. What is wrong with you?![BGM: Trickster]  Everything. I am a twisted individual. We got caught on purpose... well, I alerted you to the fact that we were cheating... In order to reach this room. Well, sort of this room. I was hoping to meet you in person... so that we could talk to you, the Game-master. First of all, why do the top ranks change so little? It's very suspicious! Do I have to remind you who's in the Questioning Room? You, not me.Greg's modified voice sounded so stupid I almost laughed. How could the detectives take the Game-master seriously with such a dopey audio filter...? Wait, I want to know that too. Also, why did you hire Haney? How many other competitions have there been? Do you have a lot of money? Can I have some? Fine... fine.[BGM: A Matter of Simple Deduction]  I will answer one question, guys. Just one if you answer all of mine. Then, you will all be reintegrated into the contest. Even Mellie? Detective Mellie's here for other reasons than you. But fine. Mellie too.778 looked around at everyone. I say we take this opportunity. What question should we ask, though? Let me do it. I didn't get an opportunity last time.778 nodded, and the others seemed to agree. They spent the next couple of minutes answering Greg's questions. Yes, Red July had been cheating. No, there weren't any other detectives in 778 and Nell's rooms, other than Slakes and Asper. Yes, there was a group called 'T.A.D.S.'  And I'm the leader! Yup, 778's the leader of T.A.D.S.!Greg pretended to buy it. [BGM: Mysteries Everywhere]  So... you risked expulsion from the contest to get here... what is your question? What do you want to know?We all looked at Slakes. What... is your method, Game-master?How would Greg get himself out of this one...?
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May 17, 2024 00:58
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Conver is great, and I absolutely believe he's the sort of person who would set up a competition like this. I'm assuming the crossword hint at the end is supposed to be "Valentine's Day" or some permutation thereof, but I'm at a loss trying to solve any of the others, even with the context clues. Like I can get "now leave me alone!" out of the first line, and "don't get upset" out of the 'autopsies' line, but I can't get the rest of them to make sense; and I know how to do the hotel clue, but I'm not finding the words I need. "Hotel" is almost definitely something like "spa" or "wellspring" that you can remove letters from ("loses cash") to later add in and make "splice" out of ("gains prime termites" = add 'lice' to the first word, I think?). But that's as far as I can get it. Don't suppose the game comes with an answer key on those?
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May 17, 2024 02:51
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Yeah, cryptic clues are kind of hard with no letter count or crossing letters, turns out. I'll take a swing when I get home from work.
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May 17, 2024 02:56
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Nick Buntline posted:Don't suppose the game comes with an answer key on those? If there is one, I haven't seen it.
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May 17, 2024 03:02
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| # ? May 17, 2024 08:25 |
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Verrrry interesting. Nice touch the game masters uniform has numbers like a crossword, and they do seem like the sort to start one of these. ...but with how much interest theres been in discovering the one behind the game, this feels like misdirection, of a sort? Like, they may have created the game, but are they still in charge or just a gamemaster these days? Who's behind this iteration of the game and why? hmm
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May 17, 2024 03:08
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