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I hope they have a really good fake Grey Wind prop for Robb's bitchin' new head. And that Cat claws her face off before they slit her throat. God, that whole chapter was amazing the first time I read it. Dammit why are there always 300 pages of nuncle-fucker-lemoncakes in between the good scenes?
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Mar 8, 2012 02:47
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To set up the good scenes. Most all of the good scenes come in the middle of a scene that seems like it's going to be another boring one (viserys's crowning, red wedding playing as a comedy of medieval manners, Sansa's stupid snow castle turning into Only Cat, the rat king moment in ADWD, etc). Without the boring scenes these wouldn't pop out as much.
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Mar 8, 2012 03:17
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It's like, sometimes you have to have stuff that sucks, so you'll know when something is cool. /beavis
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Mar 8, 2012 03:59
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Wait, what the hell "rat king moment" are you talking about? I mean, I know drink a lot, both in general and while reading that turd, but I don't remember a rat king. Was I hammered, or is this a metaphor?
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Mar 8, 2012 07:10
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Xiahou Dun posted:Was I hammered, or is this a metaphor?
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Mar 8, 2012 07:12
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Okay. I forgot about the stupid song so the reference made no sense. Frey pie is the best pie. I was going to photoshop up some fray bentos = frey pie thing but...  Use your imagination. (To come up with an ending to this book series.)
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Mar 8, 2012 07:19
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Tony Danza Claus posted:It's like, sometimes you have to have stuff that sucks, so you'll know when something is cool. GRRM had to destroy the series in order to save it.
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Mar 8, 2012 09:20
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To go west you must go east, to get to the gold you have to swim in the poo poo...
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Mar 8, 2012 15:11
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To cook the pizza rolls you must preheat the oven to 350. :grrm:
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Mar 8, 2012 15:47
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To cook Dornish princes you must preheat the dragon to 3500 targs. :quentyn: (A targ's the measuring unit of heat in Westeros, naturally.)
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Mar 8, 2012 18:30
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Tony Danza Claus posted::grrm: Someone needs to edit the old GRRM smiley so that it's an acceptable height.
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Mar 8, 2012 19:35
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Rurik posted:To cook Dornish princes you must preheat the dragon to 3500 targs. How many targs of fire immunity does a Targ have? How many for a secret Targ?
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Mar 8, 2012 19:54
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That's like asking how much horsepower a horse has.
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Mar 8, 2012 20:18
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Edit: ^^  too slow with the horsepower analogy.It would make sense that a normal targ would have a fire resistance equal to it's self. Just like one horse equals one horse power. Stuff gets more complicated when secret targs come in to play. For instance, is this secret targ a full person or just a half? Does he ride on pigs or does he kiss wild pussy? The formula for calculating this all out is quite simple. (Height + 1.5*R) / L Where R is equal to amount of times raped before conception and L is total lemon cakes consumed.
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Mar 8, 2012 20:21
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I think mass should be a factor, not height. Obviously, the more massive you are the more fireproof your Targ should be. That way, if they are not fireproof enough, they can simply consume more honeyed dog to increase this attribute.
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Mar 8, 2012 20:23
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smarion2 posted:a normal targ
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Mar 8, 2012 21:23
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whowhatwhere posted:Someone needs to edit the old GRRM smiley so that it's an acceptable weight. prioritized for you
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Mar 8, 2012 22:07
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Martin Van Buren posted:prioritized for you
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Mar 8, 2012 22:20
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A secret targ is obviously 3/5 of a targ until the enGURMation proclamation after which they legally become full targs.
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Mar 8, 2012 22:21
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Blade_of_tyshalle posted:I think mass should be a factor, not height. Obviously, the more massive you are the more fireproof your Targ should be. That way, if they are not fireproof enough, they can simply consume more honeyed dog to increase this attribute. But then how does that explain Dany's being almost completely heat/fire-proof, while Egg and a bunch of other Targs died in a fire? Instead waifishness should be the key metric.
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Mar 8, 2012 23:18
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This seems unfairly biased towards the Waif. 
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Mar 8, 2012 23:21
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Mediant posted:This seems unfairly biased towards the Waif.
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Mar 8, 2012 23:22
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I'm sure he's just fine with undeveloped girls.
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Mar 9, 2012 03:05
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Mediant posted:This seems unfairly biased towards the Waif. Do you mean the ~Waifu~? Because she's got that targ blood on motherfuckin lockdown in those sultry veins.
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Mar 9, 2012 07:32
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Obviously spraying targ blood all over the Dothraki Sea means that it will become forever impervious to fire and/or a dragon breeding ground?
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Mar 9, 2012 13:53
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It's not blood that Dany spreads all over the Dothraki sea... 
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Mar 9, 2012 13:58
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Wait, Targaryen secret blood isn't poo poo? Then that means GRRM wasn't even....trying to...GOD drat IT THAT ABSOLUTE FUCKER!
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Mar 9, 2012 14:08
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whowhatwhere posted:But then how does that explain Dany's being almost completely heat/fire-proof, while Egg and a bunch of other Targs died in a fire? Well, "waifishness" can be interpreted as an inverse relationship to mass. Or, perhaps, my previous theorum is still applicable. After all, Dany may be extremely dense, we have no way to know.
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Mar 9, 2012 14:52
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Blade_of_tyshalle posted:After all, Dany may be extremely dense, we have no way to know.
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Mar 9, 2012 15:01
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Joramun posted:Depends on whether you mean in a molecular or in an intellectual sense. Because the second one, there's no maybe about it.
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Mar 9, 2012 15:10
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Arnold of Soissons posted:Because the second one, there's no maybe about it.
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Mar 9, 2012 15:29
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Blade_of_tyshalle posted:Well, "waifishness" can be interpreted as an inverse relationship to mass. Actually, we can infer Dany's mass through the apparent effort Drogon makes with her on his back in comparison to various prey animals. We can thus infer that she weighs less than a dothraki courser, but more than a small child!  Not so useful unfortuneately...
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Mar 9, 2012 15:37
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Factor_VIII posted:To be fair, I doubt anyone that got exposed to Daario~'s raw animal magnetism would do any better. It is known.
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Mar 9, 2012 15:41
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Factor_VIII posted:To be fair, I doubt anyone that got exposed to Daario~'s raw animal magnetism would do any better. Wait a loving minute. It's a stupid idea, but what if the naked women's hilts he's always rubbing are magical? At least then she wouldn't be a massive idiot, even for a teen.
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Mar 9, 2012 15:52
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crazypeltast52 posted:Actually, we can infer Dany's mass through the apparent effort Drogon makes with her on his back in comparison to various prey animals.
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Mar 9, 2012 16:33
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Rurik posted:I think it is safe to assume that Dany's mass is at least GURMish. How else to explain all the poo poo that fits in her? I feel like an idiot now, that's how he got the shitdick. Is he going to cast himself as Daario so we can all see the reenactment?
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Mar 9, 2012 16:42
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crazypeltast52 posted:Is he going to cast himself as Daario so we can all see the reenactment? 
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Mar 9, 2012 16:48
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crazypeltast52 posted:I feel like an idiot now, that's how he got the shitdick. Is he going to cast himself as Daario so we can all see the reenactment? What kind of sick gently caress would plan something like that?!
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Mar 9, 2012 16:51
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Rurik posted:You think he would deliberately write a character like Daario in order to cast himself later as him in order to gently caress another character he created in a series filmed by HBO? He does have a hard-on for Dany/Emilia Clarke.
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Mar 9, 2012 18:16
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Urdnot Fire posted:He does have a hard-on for Dany/Emilia Clarke.
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Mar 9, 2012 18:35
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