ASoIaF: A Song of Ice and Fire: George Rail Road Martin

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bigmcgaffney: Apr 19, 2009

China Mieville will finish the series.

He will ignore the existing story and focus on that Lannister uncle's expedition to ~~the Cacotopic Stain~~ Old Valyria and the weird poo poo there.

# ? Aug 11, 2012 08:30

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# ? Jun 4, 2024 14:24

Arbite: Nov 4, 2009

gently caress it, I'll take chapter 20. I'll have a preview in 48 hours.

# ? Aug 11, 2012 09:30

Rape Jake.: Feb 23, 2012; by T. Mascis

Azure_Horizon posted:

Chapter 15

Sensa (complete)

She had been waiting for this moment for some time now, the moment when she would finally have sex with food and Jeffrey. They had toyed around with the idea, much and more, during his fastidious examinations of her Northern vagina the day before.

�I have always noticed that there is an arctic air that comes out from here, when I touch it like this,� Jeffrey said, rubbing a finger against her icicle-like clit, �and it makes me all the more curious as to why a dirty slut like you has such a frigid oval office.�

�All the Northern women are born with it, my Lord.� Sensa said, meekly, as her cheeks were flush with excitement.

He left her, then, just at the tip of orgasm, to resume his duties at court. She let out a moan as she finished herself off; she was so turned on that a little bit of urine eked out with her cum, moistening the sheets underneath her.

Today, though, Jeffrey was out on a hunt. Sensa wasn't sure if he'd come back from it undamaged, or what he would bring back in his triumph, but she knew that the bloodlust of killing small animals always gave Jeffrey a rock-hard cock. Sensa's handmaidens were in the room with her, and had filled the table full of luscious food. In the middle were two game hens, freshly glazed with lemon and topped with chives and parsley; it made Sensa's mouth water, as well as her vagina.

I hope I can feel that inside me tonight, she thought to herself.

Various fruits surrounded the hens; mangoes and pears, apples freshly caramelized and dripping their juices down along the bottom of the bowl. Along both ends of the table were lamprey pies, warm and sizzling, steam still billowing up from them. Sensa stood over one and let the steam caress her supple breasts; it reminded her of Sendor's breath upon them as he penetrated her.
�My Lady, we must prepare you for Jeffrey's arrival.� One of her women said. They began to move the plates around to form a space for Sensa on the table, just big enough for her to be able to lay down in an erotic position upon his arrival. Sensa began to undress, one piece of her attire at a time, until she was fully naked. The table was less comfortable than she imagined it would be, and she ended up getting a small splinter near her rear end in a top hat that she figured would come out if Jeffrey entered her there.
The handmaidens began to place some of the caramelized fruit upon her in certain locations; one between her breasts, the caramel dripping downward. Another was placed upon her vagina, the caramel seeping in. Sensa reached down and began to use some of it as lube as she shoved two fingers into her snatch, feeling as her vagina became sticky and sweet, yet still cold to the touch. Small sugary pastries and candies were placed along her arms, something treacly for Jeffrey when he wanted to explore.

I hope Jeffrey likes this, because I want this just as bad as him.

Lastly, her handmaidens placed strings of fettucine alfredo upon her face, to remind Jeffrey to give Sensa a gooey facial, because all Northern women deserved that from their Southron lords. Sensa did not like this particular act, but in the heat of the moment she knew that she would not mind. She noticed a small lemoncake was situated at the far end of the table near her feet.

I know what he plans on doing with that, she thought.

�You look delicious.� A voice said, from afar.

�My Lord... you are back so soon! Please... come here!�

Jeffrey stepped out of the shadows, something large and bloody in his hand.

�I bring some auroch for our fun.� He said, a slightly malicious sneer on his face.

Sensa looked upon her lover, noticing the blood that drenched his clothes, which he soon removed. The blood had seeped through and stained his chiseled abs, some of it dried upon his golden pubic hair. He dragged the auroch (which was little more than a baby) to just in front of the table, then pulled out a small knife and began to carve some of it. He was not very good at this, like his grandfather was, so he made a total mess of the corpse, guts spilling everywhere and spoiling. Jeffrey then reached down and pulled a chunk out, raw and bloody. He raised it above Sensa's face and began to squeeze it like a sponge, watching as blood rained down upon her face.

�Open your mouth!� Jeffrey ordered.

She did as was bid, and found herself loving the taste, as much as she could drink through the strands of fettucine. Jeffrey then climbed upon the table, mounting her missionary. He hesitated, however, and because he'd spent so much time hunting, a low growl echoed out from his stomach.

My lion is hungry, Sensa thought, a smile crossing her face.

He began to nibble at some of the treats decorating her arms, before ripping off one of the wings of a nearby game hen to rub over her stomach. Occasionally, he would tear into the meat with his teeth, his hunger causing strings of drool to fly off of his mouth and land upon her breasts. As he finished the meat, he placed the bone carefully along her side.
�I'll be using that later.� Jeffrey said, before leaning down and kissing Sensa, nuzzling some of the fettucine off of her face. She moaned during the kiss, her vagina becoming increasingly moist and caramelized. Jeffrey's hands slid down her frame, sensually grasping at her breasts and pulling at her nipples, tweaking each one roughly as he started to plant butterfly kisses along the left side of her neck. Sensa continued to lay still as his ministrations continued southward.
He suckled on each of her nipples, biting playfully as she moaned, then biting harder when he wanted to hear small gasps of pain. He was, after all, a lion. Jeffrey licked the combination of drool and hen grease off of her boobs and her stomach, some of which had pooled into her belly button which he licked out like a fat neckbeard eating pie.

�Oh, nuncle!� Sensa cried out. Jeffrey paused, arched an eyebrow, and then continued to eat out her button.

Jeffrey continued to travel down towards her Northern swamp as he stroked his turgid cock, small amounts of prejaculate landing upon the table, right on top of the lemoncakes. He remembered that her vagina was like a White Walker's, frigid and cold. Luckily, there wasn't any snow. He pawed at the table next to her for the bone and found it, wrapping his hand around it. Then, in one swift movement, he pushed the small bone into her vagina. Sensa felt no pain, because the bone was not sharp, instead smooth at the ends, but the feel of it was very different. She cried out in a mixture of pain and pleasure as he began to gently caress her with the hen bone. After a time, Jeffrey felt like she was speaking too much, and so, briefly leaving the bone inside her oval office, he pulled out one of the auroch's organs � he didn't particularly care which � and shoved part of it into her mouth, sufficiently gagging her.
As he continued to gently caress her with the makeshift toy, she began to wonder to herself: This must be his game of bones. You win or you get hosed.
Sensa soon found herself on the brink of cumming when he withdrew the bone from her twat.

�I think you deserve a treat for taking that punishment, my lady.� Jeffrey said, smiling.

Reaching down for the lemoncake, he lifted it up towards her vagina. He grabbed a handful of it and then shoved it into her. Jeffrey was a fan of lemoncakes, and he figured that mixing it with Sensa's vagina would be delicious. He then threw the lemoncake against the wall, ignoring the handmaidens who ran over to eat what they could of it from the floor and the wall, the sugar coating their mouths and necks as they moaned at the taste.
He knew that he wanted to bring his lady just to the point of orgasm, but not quite, as he started to lap at her ice-cold oval office. She writhed underneath the flicks of his tongue at her clit. Jeffrey almost felt like his tongue would get stuck to it, it was so cold. He plunged deeper, the taste of caramel apple and lemoncakes and Northern pussy mingling together into a smorgasbord of tasty pleasure. After just a few minutes, Sensa found herself right at the edge again, close to spraying Jeffrey in the face with her love juice, but he stopped.

�Not just yet, Sensa. I have something big and hard for you.�

He removed the gag from her mouth, placed his cock firmly at her hole, and thrust forward, the caramel and lemoncake providing lube for him as he began to ravage and pound her tight young pussy. She yelled out his name, panting and sweating as she came just as he pushed into the hilt, his balls resting against her taint. He still felt like he was loving a snowball.
�Yes, my Lord, harder! Harder!� She cried out as he pushed deeper, probing new depths of her oval office than ever before. Winter was coming, and it was going to come hard. Jeffrey had worked himself up to a point that he couldn't back down from, his own orgasm not far away. Before he came, Sensa began to ponder something that was niggling at the back of her mind: Is my dad okay? What are Jeffrey and his family going to do to him? She scrunched her nose at the thought, feeling disgusted that she would be thinking about her father while getting hosed.
Not more than a minute passed before she felt Jeffrey's hot lion cum soaking her cold, wolf vagina, his fire spreading deep into her. Immediately after, Jeffrey dismounted and started to leave the room.

�My Lord, what about... ?�

�I need little and less than your oval office. I must needs go clean up.�

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. GAS THIS loving ABOMINATION!

# ? Aug 11, 2012 15:14

Contra Calculus: Nov 6, 2009; Gravy Boat 2k

Mr. Jake, you haven't been paying attention to the last 40 pages.

# ? Aug 11, 2012 15:23

Rape Jake.: Feb 23, 2012; by T. Mascis

I don't really check on the thread because it makes me wonder about when the next book is coming. I honest to God thought the whole thing was a joke. That's not even a joke, it's full on creepy fan-fiction of a 14 year old girl getting hosed by a buffet.

# ? Aug 11, 2012 15:29

Thulsa Doom: Jun 20, 2011; Ezekiel 23:20

All the girls are 18. Including their mother, who is also 18 somehow.

# ? Aug 11, 2012 15:33

Rape Jake.: Feb 23, 2012; by T. Mascis

Ambiguatron posted:

All the girls are 18. Including their mother, who is also 18 somehow.

Sansa is 14, I dunno how old the girl who plays her on TV is, but changing one vowel in her name is still some ADTRW circa 2004 poo poo.

# ? Aug 11, 2012 15:37

The Anime Liker: Aug 8, 2009; by VideoGames

Rape Jake. posted:

Sansa is 14, I dunno how old the girl who plays her on TV is, but changing one vowel in her name is still some ADTRW circa 2004 poo poo.

Daenerys was 14 in those terrible books you read.

Game of Bones has the decency (like 50 Shades of Grey) to have adult characters in sex scenes.

Unlike GRRM. Checkmate.

# ? Aug 11, 2012 15:40

Thulsa Doom: Jun 20, 2011; Ezekiel 23:20

My chapter ends with another character delivering a long monologue about how she's an adult. Check and mate. :smug:

# ? Aug 11, 2012 15:45

Rape Jake.: Feb 23, 2012; by T. Mascis

A GLISTENING HODOR posted:

Daenerys was 14 in those terrible books you read.

Game of Bones has the decency (like 50 Shades of Grey) to have adult characters in sex scenes.

Unlike GRRM. Checkmate.

Oh, right, because GRRM is a weird idiot when it comes to sexual norms, it makes it ok for you freaks to write 2000 word fan fictions of his child characters with dripping pussies. "Checkmate" yourself into a mental institution you paedophile, this thread is a joke.

# ? Aug 11, 2012 15:46

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

I'm afraid you're mistaken, Rape Jake.. Sensa Strike is a wholly different character than Sansa Stark. They are legally dissimilar, and I would ask you to show how they are otherwise.

# ? Aug 11, 2012 15:51

Rape Jake.: Feb 23, 2012; by T. Mascis

Blade_of_tyshalle posted:

I'm afraid you're mistaken, Rape Jake.. Sensa Strike is a wholly different character than Sansa Stark. They are legally dissimilar, and I would ask you to show how they are otherwise.

You mean read more of this child fucker erotica than I already have? No thanks. Go touch yourself to thoughts of "Sensa Strike" getting penetrated by "Sendor" though. Haha, you fuckwits actually think you're creative.

# ? Aug 11, 2012 15:57

The Anime Liker: Aug 8, 2009; by VideoGames

I wrote the Kate chapter. She's 36. Checkmate again. :smug:

# ? Aug 11, 2012 15:57

Thulsa Doom: Jun 20, 2011; Ezekiel 23:20

I still say Kate should be 18. I can only manage a semi without grotesque problems of internal consistency in my pornography.

# ? Aug 11, 2012 15:58

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

I'm starting to think Rape Jake. isn't actually a teenaged boy like he led us to believe.

# ? Aug 11, 2012 16:10

Thulsa Doom: Jun 20, 2011; Ezekiel 23:20

I was a teenage boy once and when I suffered that unfortunate condition I would at the slightest provocation ejaculate with such intensity and duration that I could propel a bicycle by force of orgasm alone. Also I got a boner from the Virgin Mary on a candle, once.

More than once.

# ? Aug 11, 2012 16:13

The Anime Liker: Aug 8, 2009; by VideoGames

I have a disorder where I can only get boners from Oberyn Martell being fisted in terrible fanfiction.

# ? Aug 11, 2012 16:25

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

You of course are referring to the similar but non-infringing Orion Martin, correct?

# ? Aug 11, 2012 16:37

The Anime Liker: Aug 8, 2009; by VideoGames

My mistake.

These two characters are entirely unrelated and are wholly the copyright of Bad Thread Publishing, inc.

(of course, when we send this to the publisher we'll have to fully sterilize the characters to avoid legal complications)

We're going to be so wealthy, you guys.

# ? Aug 11, 2012 16:56

thornghost: Oct 11, 2010; I have a picture of me with GRRM. He looks less than enthused.

If I have made any mistakes in the organization of this erotic, legally non-similar profic then just remember my inspiration was the editing style of George R R Martin with his awe-inspiring Wild Cards series. I submit that all of my mistakes are actually his.

# ? Aug 11, 2012 17:07

The Mutato: Feb 23, 2011; Neil deGrasse Highson

Yes, this is our lovely inconsistent crowdsourced pansexual fanfic, but can we not describe the thoughts of someone who isn't the chapter POV? Makes me gag worse than bone dildos.

# ? Aug 11, 2012 17:09

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

Lord Nathyn Strike sat upon the toilet remembering the time a strange sickness struck Autumnfall and rendered every man, woman, and child incapable of internal monologue for a good fortnight. Those two weeks were incredibly awkward for everyone, and if he elected to write a story about it as was his right as a Lord of the Twenty-Seven Kingdoms he would have a very confounding narrative indeed.

A knock from the door. It was his son, Brendan. "Father," the young boy cried, "I really have to drop a deuce, canst thou not hurrieth thine own shite?"

Nathyn rose from the spring-heated stone seat and yanked his trousers roughly up around his waist. He flung open the door, grabbed his son by the lapels and savagely beat the young man until he could no longer lift an arm in rage.

No one told Lord Strike to poo poo or get off the pot. Not since that time when he was a boy staying with his good friend Roger Bartholomew...

# ? Aug 11, 2012 17:15

Carly Gay Dead Son: Aug 27, 2007; Bonus.

Lord Nathyn Strike is not your bitch.

# ? Aug 11, 2012 17:18

The Anime Liker: Aug 8, 2009; by VideoGames

thornghost posted:

If I have made any mistakes in the organization of this erotic, legally non-similar profic then just remember my inspiration was the editing style of George R R Martin with his awe-inspiring Wild Cards series. I submit that all of my mistakes are actually his.

In the style of unrelated author George R R Martin, I have difficulty turning my work in in a timely fashion.

All other similarities are purely coincidental.

# ? Aug 11, 2012 17:22

Chinston Wurchill: Jun 27, 2010; It's not that kind of test.

Azure_Horizon posted:

She moaned during the kiss, her vagina becoming increasingly moist and caramelized.

I don't even have words to express how much this sentence entertained me.

# ? Aug 11, 2012 17:33

Contra Calculus: Nov 6, 2009; Gravy Boat 2k

Rape Jake. posted:

Haha, you fuckwits actually think you're creative.

I don't think there is a single person here under any such notions. We just want money.

Contra Calculus fucked around with this message at 18:16 on Aug 11, 2012

# ? Aug 11, 2012 18:11

Thulsa Doom: Jun 20, 2011; Ezekiel 23:20

I am quite creative, thank you, although the pile of poo poo I blurped out for this monstrosity is in no way representative of my talents. Sensa doesn't even have sex with a (sentient, able to think and feel and therefore not an animal at all) dragon in my chapter.

Sheesh.

I find that the dragon is the most sensual of the terror lizards.

# ? Aug 11, 2012 18:22

Azure_Horizon: Mar 27, 2010; by Reene

Chinston Wurchill posted:

I don't even have words to express how much this sentence entertained me.

I laughed and felt disgusted with myself while writing the chapter.

# ? Aug 11, 2012 20:17

Dolash: Oct 23, 2008; aNYWAY,
tHAT'S REALLY ALL THERE IS,
tO REPORT ON THE SUBJECT,
oF ME GETTING HURT,

whowhatwhere posted:

As for serious theories, the best one is that Oberyn Martell (The Red Viper) poisoned Tywin Lannister before Tyrion shot him. It's a really strongly-evidenced theory.

Oh wow, I like this one. It seemed like certain long term plans from people like Varys and Doran Martell all but required Tywin to be dead so that the realm could slowly unravel, yet his assassination seemed so unexpected (it's not like Varys could've predicted it). That he was already being lined up for assassination explains his enemies' preparations for his passing really well.

# ? Aug 11, 2012 21:18

lobotomy molo: May 7, 2007; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

...caramelized? :stare:

Ambiguatron posted:

I find that the dragon is the most sensual of the terror lizards.

gently caress no, that's the T-rex. Those little puny arms? Ohhhh yeah.

# ? Aug 12, 2012 01:33

Thulsa Doom: Jun 20, 2011; Ezekiel 23:20

My mind is diffuse with images of maidens shoving apples into their cunts and rolling in the mouths of terror lizards only to emerge, shove popsickle sticks betwixt their legs and feed caramel apples to the waiting masses.

Dagny Applecooch the unburnt

# ? Aug 12, 2012 01:37

The Anime Liker: Aug 8, 2009; by VideoGames

Needs more excretions.

# ? Aug 12, 2012 01:51

Thulsa Doom: Jun 20, 2011; Ezekiel 23:20

If it's coming out of her cooter covered in a rich saucy glaze of superheated vaginal fluids I'd call that an excretion, she's excreting it.

Perhaps she could also stuff blackberries up her rear end.

...what the gently caress am I doing with my life?

# ? Aug 12, 2012 01:54

The Anime Liker: Aug 8, 2009; by VideoGames

Yes. Give in to the dark side.

# ? Aug 12, 2012 01:57

Azure_Horizon: Mar 27, 2010; by Reene

Rape Jake. posted:

You mean read more of this child fucker erotica than I already have? No thanks. Go touch yourself to thoughts of "Sensa Strike" getting penetrated by "Sendor" though. Haha, you fuckwits actually think you're creative.

We're probably more creative than E.L. James, coveted author of the Pulitzer Prize winning-novel Fifty Shades of Grey.

# ? Aug 12, 2012 02:23

Thulsa Doom: Jun 20, 2011; Ezekiel 23:20

I can think of more sexy things than that sexy thing thinker upper person can think of. Seriously, soccer moms, I have such sights to show you.

Butt sights.

# ? Aug 12, 2012 02:27

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

Where we're going, we won't need butts to see.

# ? Aug 12, 2012 03:20

The Anime Liker: Aug 8, 2009; by VideoGames

Blade_of_tyshalle posted:

Where we're going, we won't need butts to pee.

Fixed for more excretions.

ALWAYS MORE.

# ? Aug 12, 2012 04:36

Shageletic: Jul 25, 2007

Shageletic fucked around with this message at 18:12 on Dec 3, 2022

# ? Aug 12, 2012 05:35

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# ? Jun 4, 2024 14:24

Blade_of_tyshalle: Jul 12, 2009; If you think that, along the way, you're not going to fail... you're blind.

There's no one I've ever met, no matter how successful they are, who hasn't said they had their failures along the way.

I know I find it funny because suddenly the Pound is Clint Eastwood and Jeffrey is an orangutang.

# ? Aug 12, 2012 05:39

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