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Needs more honeyed animals. GRRM is the ice cream killer. Ayn Rand is totally a super-sub (didn't you read The Fountainhead?) and Hermione where's a double invader strapon. The secret double-secret pact is if IRQ and A_H don't get hitched, Norris is marrying IRQ to serve as his beard in our horrid glistening secret bear love with Contra as our Cub. And Winds of Winter is never coming out.
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Nov 8, 2012 03:15
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syscall girl posted:There are a lot of underage girls going missing in New Mexico. I'm not not saying that GORMP isn't killing them to get bathroom ghosts but it has a certain bathtub ring of truth to it. Pear-shaped man strikes again. Sophia posted:I won't rest until this whole thread is married to live human beings. Never fear! I know all the ladies want a piece of this:  
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Nov 8, 2012 03:16
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Goddammit Tony why are you exposing our plans?
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Nov 8, 2012 03:17
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IRQ posted:Goddammit Tony why are you exposing our plans? WILD CARDS
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Nov 8, 2012 03:18
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Double invader? Are you trying to impress me?
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Nov 8, 2012 03:20
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IRQ posted:Hey Contra, gay marriage passed here in Maryland. YOU'RE ON NOTICE Oh hey, I just barely noticed this. Sorry it took a while. Well I hope you're ready then, man. That photo of me in my previous post? That's a recent one. I hope you're as excited as I am. 
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Nov 8, 2012 03:21
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Contra Calculus posted:Oh hey, I just barely noticed this. Sorry it took a while. Well I hope you're ready then, man. That photo of me in my previous post? That's a recent one. I hope you're as excited as I am. Norris will be disappointed about our marriage pact not working out (or not because she never checks her email!), but get your rear end to Maryland, babby. Dat mormon rear end! 
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Nov 8, 2012 03:40
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I will, but first I need to ask this thread for money for I am a poor man. If anyone in this thread cares about the sanctity of mine and IRQ's marriage in front of a lemoncake altar while swearing our vows before a man dressed up with a stupid captain's hat, please donate exactly $10.00 to my bank account. I will totally not spend this all on hookers and meth, I promise.
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Nov 8, 2012 03:50
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Sorry, this paycheck is already spoken for, as my hooker fund is running low.
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Nov 8, 2012 03:59
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Thulsa Doom posted:Sorry, this paycheck is already spoken for, as my hooker fund is running low.  Contra Calculus posted:I will, but first I need to ask this thread for money for I am a poor man. If anyone in this thread cares about the sanctity of mine and IRQ's marriage in front of a lemoncake altar while swearing our vows before a man dressed up with a stupid captain's hat, please donate exactly $10.00 to my bank account. I will totally not spend this all on hookers and meth, I promise.
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Nov 8, 2012 04:08
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Especially if you make a Kickstarter to solve, once and for all, the eternal question of where whores go. That kind of research needs serious funding, Tyrion never found out because he was on the run and had no money.
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Nov 8, 2012 04:25
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A GLISTENING HODOR posted:GRRM is the ice cream killer. I shall not have ice cream. GRRM is the obese writer who brings total food obliteration. I shall let his semen pass over and around me, and when he is gone, only Ty will remain.
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Nov 8, 2012 04:27
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No, the ones I frequent all kinda stay in the same place.
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Nov 8, 2012 04:30
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ExpletiveDeleted posted:Especially if you make a Kickstarter to solve, once and for all, the eternal question of where whores go. That kind of research needs serious funding, Tyrion never found out because he was on the run and had no money. If you read the Wild Cards thread, the latest update tells you where whores go.
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Nov 8, 2012 04:34
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IRQ posted:Nobody caught anything last time me and Norris got drunk and baked a cake. You already showed us. 'Enry 'Iggins, my OTP is Kyle Orton/Jack Daniels, its legal now and everything
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Nov 8, 2012 05:19
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Dammit people, all this is distracting us from finishing the four chapters left before we make it rich. Rich I tell you! I've done three, you can't finish one? Nobody's saying it needs sensible, pleasant, or readable, just give us 2000+ words. If all else fails we'll change the first letter of each sentence to say something dumb and call it art.
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Nov 8, 2012 08:07
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We could just generate 2000 words of Lorem Ipsum and call it art.
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Nov 8, 2012 09:09
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Or take a previous chapter and run it through Google translate to Japanese and then Latin.
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Nov 8, 2012 11:27
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Arbite posted:Dammit people, all this is distracting us from finishing the four chapters left before we make it rich. Rich I tell you! I've done three, you can't finish one? Tell you guys what, I have a free day most of the day. Just tell me what I'm writing and I'll vomit out a chapter for our beloved masterpiece.
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Nov 8, 2012 16:08
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Contra Calculus posted:Tell you guys what, I have a free day most of the day. Just tell me what I'm writing and I'll vomit out a chapter for our beloved masterpiece. Don't vomit it out, babby, poo poo it out, of your dick. It's the Wild Cards way.
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Nov 8, 2012 18:55
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Contra Calculus posted:Tell you guys what, I have a free day most of the day. Just tell me what I'm writing and I'll vomit out a chapter for our beloved masterpiece. Why don't you take Chapter 6, 18, or 22, since SaviorX seems to have bitten off more than he can shart?
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Nov 8, 2012 19:13
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Okay working on chapter 18. I need to know if this is canonically correct for double-goatse so here's a preview of my chapter: quote:Sensa waited. She’d been waiting since who knows how long for the Pound to come to her room. She wondered what new technique the Pound was going to use on her when he came. It seemed only so many nights ago he had talked of the dreaded double-goatse technique. The one feared throughout the realm. Maybe he had discovered it? What would happen if someone did it? Would animal skulls go flying out of someone’s anus?
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Nov 8, 2012 19:59
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The more I read what the rest of you contributed to this blasphemy, the more tickled I am that the chapter I wrote is completely in earnest. I hope none of you hosed with it.
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Nov 8, 2012 20:00
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See, the difference between me you, Thulsa, is that I am a horrible loving writer. So I either have to save myself through a shield of irony or it will look like I am a high-schooler trying very hard to write a godawful porn fanfiction... which, hey, it's not too far from the truth except I'm in college.
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Nov 8, 2012 20:06
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I wrote some serious medieval drama and intrigue, I don't know where you guys got hyakugojyuuichi-goatse from.
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Nov 8, 2012 20:12
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Okay, because I don't want to break poo poo here, would someone kindly email me what has been written so far at contralculus@gmail.com and/or PM me? That way, my chapter will have some sense of cohesion?
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Nov 8, 2012 21:10
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Contra Calculus posted:Okay, because I don't want to break poo poo here, would someone kindly email me what has been written so far at contralculus@gmail.com and/or PM me? That way, my chapter will have some sense of cohesion? That's doing it wrong. It needs as little cohesion, continuity, and unity of voice as possible.
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Nov 8, 2012 21:17
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We need to emulate the highs and lows of the ASOIAF series, make 'em dread those Dany equivalent chapters.
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Nov 8, 2012 21:27
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Does this barbarity even have a character who is superficially similar to but legally distinct from Daenerys Targaryen, a main character from George R. R. Martin's award winning bestselling series A Song of Ice and Fire (now an HBO television series)?
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Nov 8, 2012 21:29
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Contra Calculus posted:Okay, because I don't want to break poo poo here, would someone kindly email me what has been written so far at contralculus@gmail.com and/or PM me? That way, my chapter will have some sense of cohesion? Just go off of this. thornghost posted:Chapter 18 – Sensa (SaviourX)
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Nov 8, 2012 21:42
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That's what I was doing. I would like some context for double-goatse though.
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Nov 8, 2012 22:05
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Why? I haven't read TDC's follow-up to my Kate chapter, but I'm pretty sure they're entirely unrelated.
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Nov 8, 2012 23:13
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I haven't edited much of what's been written because I don't feel like going to a million years of therapy but I can tell you that what I read so far is so varied in tone, content, setting, names of things, plot, and language as to be completely separate stories. The only through lines are waking up and food porn.
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Nov 8, 2012 23:30
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If I remember correctly, the double-goatse was a touching gesture of erotic devotion between the Pound and Jeffrey. And yes, dawn light streaming through the windows is pretty much the only thing tying these chapters together.
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Nov 9, 2012 00:45
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Sophia posted:I haven't edited much of what's been written because I don't feel like going to a million years of therapy but I can tell you that what I read so far is so varied in tone, content, setting, names of things, plot, and language as to be completely separate stories. Wild Cards is a higher-quality collective work than this series, people. WILD CARDS. e: wait, does that make Sophia our GRRM?
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Nov 9, 2012 00:50
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So does this mean Sophia has to not write a fantasy series?
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Nov 9, 2012 00:57
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Urdnot Fire posted:So does this mean Sophia has to not write a fantasy series? She can't because she's editing pure poo poo. (and there's poop in her wiener)
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Nov 9, 2012 01:01
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Contra Calculus posted:That's what I was doing. I would like some context for double-goatse though. All we know is it doesn't work right yet. Just have a failed reaction shot. Imagine the "You lose" sound from the price is right. It's supposed to work during the big finale chapter.
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Nov 9, 2012 01:12
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bigmcgaffney posted:You already showed us. Yeah, we need to make new cakes before we can brag about 'em again, IRQ. Taking cake requests, hit me with your worst.
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Nov 9, 2012 01:19
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Jeff and The Pound double-goatseing is the topical choice, but I'd like a GRRM portrait in cake form.
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Nov 9, 2012 01:22
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