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Joramun posted:But the Gurm enjoys deconstructing tropes, so maybe she ends up not assassinating anything at all? But she already has? Trust me, it's gonna be grossly inappropriate sex stuff. That man* has no sense of scale, chronology or buffet etiquette. Also, personal fitness, the male gaze... the list isn't endless but it's pretty long. *Or he's being purposely offensive because he is actually a mythological troll made flesh. Take your pick.
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May 10, 2013 22:41
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syscall girl posted:But she already has? Yeah but she wasn't officially an assassin back then yet. So she assassinates stuff when she isn't a professional assassin yet, but doesn't anymore once she is. The pacifist, pro-life assassin. Deconstruction.
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May 10, 2013 22:52
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My first born son is named Hodor StickyPrince. My daughter shall be named Daenerys Myrish Swamp. I am the worst human being, please pelt me with garbage.
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May 10, 2013 23:06
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Well, come on up and visit me, then. We'll stop by the Chapters and I'll throw some Orson Scott Card books at you, then we can go see Star Trek Into Darkness in IMAX 3D.
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May 10, 2013 23:08
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So I was taking Barristan-Myrcella for a stroll in the park the other day (Nuncle didn't come along, she prefers staying at home with a good book), and when we arrived at the pond gender-neutral pronoun pointed at one of the ducks bathing in it and whispered, "Mine." And I replied, "No, Barristan-Myrcella, my sweet summer child. A duck is not a slave." Gender-neutral pronoun looked disappointed, yet accepting. Then gender-neutral pronoun climbed out of the stroller, hissed and slithered across the ground and into a nearby tree, and turned into a cocoon. It has been hanging there for a few days now and I am quite excited to see what will come out.
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May 10, 2013 23:09
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Rarity posted:How many times do I have to compare myself to Daenerys for people to get it?!
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May 10, 2013 23:32
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A Bad Thread Orson Scott Card Book Burning / Star Trek Viewing Meet-Up would be p. cool. I'll bring the lemoncakes and shame.
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May 10, 2013 23:33
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Ofc. Sex Robot BPD posted:It might be cholera. You should see a doctor. I would take a big steaming poo poo all over this thread but Joramun already does that every time he posts.
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May 10, 2013 23:37
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Rarity posted:How many times do I have to compare myself to Daenerys for people to get it?! You make dumbshit decisions while you have Iain Glen khaleesing in your ear? You are indeed the patron of your thread.
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May 10, 2013 23:38
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rejutka posted:ADWD - You make dumbshit decisions New thread title please.
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May 10, 2013 23:50
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A GLISTENING HODOR posted:New thread title please. I've been trying to get a new thread title for the past few months and go back to ASOIAF in general because ADWD is so bad.
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May 11, 2013 00:05
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I kind of hope she doesn't become an assassin. The narrative is already all over the place as it is to the point where it feels like some of these characters and their stories should be in different books. In fact, the only chapters from ADwD that felt like they were from the same series as A Song of Ice and Fire were Theon's and Davos' as well as some of the other one-chapter fucks mixed in. Arya becoming an assassin isn't a bad concept in and of itself, it just feels like it doesn't belong in this series. GRRM can't keep adding jumbled subplots to the story that have no impact on the war in Westeros which is the main concern of the series. This isn't because it's unrealistic or whatever he's trying to avoid these days, it's because poo poo like Quentyn Martell's underdevlopped plot thread winds up being meaningless which is unsatisfying for readers. Now, you might justify her becoming an assassin as impacting the plot by having her go assassinate Ramsay or Roose, but then that completely undermines Manderly's and Stannis' plot threads. So, she instead has to go after some jackoff who currently has no meaningful impact on the plot (or George has to make up a reason for said jackoff to have an impact on the overall plot). This will probably result in another jumbled POV that is not sure what it's even trying to be anymore. The plot threads we have so far are: Zombie apocalypse (and Jon probably being Fantasy Jesus or something) trying to be the main plot thread, Bran becoming a tree trying to be the main plot thread, Dany and her dragons trying to be the main plot thread, and just about everyone south of The Wall in the continent of Westeros having completely irrelevant plot threads to what has been established in the last 4 books as the main plot thread. The biggest problem in the last 2 books is that George has been writing about completely irrelevant poo poo. Jon's entire story has, in the past 20+ years or so that these books have been written, done nothing to impact the zombie apocalypse and maybe only barely impacted the plot thread happening south of the Wall and this is sloppy planning on George's part because if there was any time to have the series focusing on Jon impacting the plot, it was in loving ADwD where a good chunk of the book is dedicated to his POV. Even if GRRM doesn't bring him back to life, it's still stupidly written because that means all Jon's character development in ASoS and ADwD resulted in nothing coming of it. Tyrion's plot is now 'road to getting to Dany.' I feel like he will eventually loving get off his goonish high horse and go back to his regularly plotting self at some point, but then I realized he literally raped a woman in ADwD if I remember correctly. Based on how loving terrible Dany is handling her rule in Mereen, my guess is he's ultimately going to wind up saving her rear end with his political cunning by being her Hand. But this still means SHE'S NOT loving LEAVING GODDAMN MEREEN YET. 5 books, 5 loving BOOKS and now more POV's than before are in goddamn Essos which is a boring loving continent filled with boring stereotypes GRRM tries to pass as cultures. Tyrion and Victarion trying to get to Dany means we probably still have to sit through another book exploring the boring and irrelevant continent of Essos. gently caress ESSOS AND EVERY SINGLE HUMAN BEING THAT LIVES THERE! GODDAMN! Dany's plot is utterly hosed because, as I mentioned before, she is STILL IN ESSOS! And the narrative calls that she stay IN ESSOS because of Tyrion and Victarion. GRRM is now demonstrating that she is, in fact, a very bad leader in spite of her being aware of social injustices from the beginning (somehow even though she was raised by Viserys). Okay, George, we get it! In spite of better intentions, sometimes people are terrible when it comes to politics. You already did this with Ned, Robb, Cat, and Jon. And this post is going on for way too loving long so I'm just going to stop here. Seriously, I began writing this like 30 minutes ago.  Anyway, what I'm trying to say is 'Arya's Assassin's Creed/Dishonored spinoff' would be a cool ASOIAF videogame, but not good for actual books.
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May 11, 2013 00:25
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It's only interesting if she gets to keep her sense of self. I can't tell if her training is meant to break her of her personality, because assassins with grudges would be too loose-cannony for essos, or just make her a better liar - that she can only be a faceless man when she can completely hide herself and become no-one. If it's the former then who the gently caress cares if it's arya who murders Jon or whatever is going to happen. It could be anyone at that point.
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May 11, 2013 00:29
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 Novel edited to reflect TV accuracy.
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May 11, 2013 00:34
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Contra Calculus posted:But this still means SHE'S NOT loving LEAVING GODDAMN MEREEN YET. 5 books, 5 loving BOOKS and now more POV's than before are in goddamn Essos which is a boring loving continent filled with boring stereotypes GRRM tries to pass as cultures. Tyrion and Victarion trying to get to Dany means we probably still have to sit through another book exploring the boring and irrelevant continent of Essos. gently caress ESSOS AND EVERY SINGLE HUMAN BEING THAT LIVES THERE! GODDAMN! Really? Meereen is actually one of my favorite locations in the books, along with the Wall and the original Winterfell.
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May 11, 2013 00:38
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Joramun posted:Really? Meereen is actually one of my favorite locations in the books, along with the Wall and the original Winterfell. The Meereenese knot is nothing more than first draft idiocy disguised as a published novel.
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May 11, 2013 00:42
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Joramun posted:Really? Meereen is actually one of my favorite locations in the books, along with the Wall and the original Winterfell. I just don't care about Essos. It has nothing to do with anything and everything done there is going to end up being meaningless because the main story is in Westeros. The characters we actually care about are in Westeros and are from Westeros. I don't care about J'qfhw'ifa the III or Magistrate Fuckballs or Khal Blabbo or whoever the hell else is over there because they don't have any relevance. The only place there that had any potential to impact the plot was the House of Warlocks. The Wall, from the beginning was shown to be relevant to the plight of Westeros as The Others were introduced in the very first chapter. I like The Wall because I can expect poo poo happening up there will actually impact the plot at some point. Winterfell is also important to the main plot for multiple reasons. edit: oh yeah, I guess Aegon kind of impacts the plot in Westeros (assuming he also ever gets there). So maybe I should have said 99% of what is done there winds up as meaningless. edit edit: Also, Strong Belwas and Jon Connington are cool so they get a pass. Contra Calculus fucked around with this message at 01:52 on May 11, 2013 |
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May 11, 2013 00:46
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I thought Aegon and JonCon-San are at Storm's End by the end of ADWD. I'm not certain, though, because ADWD was loving horrid and all that stood out was Pretty Pig and Dany eating the new Taco Bell Doritos Locos Cool Ranch Tacos.
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May 11, 2013 01:54
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Oh yeah they did. Duh, Griffin's Roost is in the Stormlands.  Hey, Dany. See what your nephew is doing? That's what you should have been doing a long time ago.
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May 11, 2013 02:24
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rejutka posted:The Meereenese knot is nothing more than first draft idiocy disguised as a published novel. All of Dany's plot in ADwD exists because for some reason he didn't want to or couldn't rewrite it to cut out everything but the beginning of her arc to establish that she's loving up and the fighting pit scene to establish that she's getting the gently caress out of there. The knot is so frustrating because he chewed on it for an entire book and made us go through the motions with these shockingly boring characters before burning it all down and moving on anyway.
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May 11, 2013 02:28
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Contra Calculus posted:Hey, Dany. See what your nephew is doing? That's what you should have been doing a long time ago. Well she would have, but 
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May 11, 2013 02:31
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Joramun posted:So I was taking Barristan-Myrcella for a stroll in the park the other day (Nuncle didn't come along, she prefers staying at home with a good book), and when we arrived at the pond gender-neutral pronoun pointed at one of the ducks bathing in it and whispered, "Mine." Truly a modern day Parfum.
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May 11, 2013 03:00
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Contra Calculus posted:Wait, there are actual women willingly reading this thread? We heard this is where the aggressive lactation happens.
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May 11, 2013 03:41
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It's really where the lactation aggressively happens.
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May 11, 2013 03:50
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Joramun posted:So I was Holy gently caress. I knew I unignored you for a reason. Anyhoo, the thing with Gingers is 1 in 1000 look like Hendricks, the rest just look like the O'Doyle (rules!) clan. Also, now I learn Rares may run the most terrible thread, but is also a lady, but also a ginger, but also into women, but also a filthy Britton? Like, a rollercoaster ride of boner controls.
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May 11, 2013 03:51
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Probs should just namechange to 'Raritease', nah'msayin.
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May 11, 2013 03:51
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Isn't Hendricks like Emma Stone and a natural blonde? I think that might be how they end up looking so good.
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May 11, 2013 03:54
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Christina Hendricks is a blond.  So is Emma Stone, Emma Watson, and that gal from That 70's Show. And Gemma Arterton is a brunette. The Anime Liker fucked around with this message at 03:57 on May 11, 2013 |
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May 11, 2013 03:54
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A GLISTENING HODOR posted:And Gemma Arterton is a brunette. Prince of Persia taught me that she's also Iranian.
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May 11, 2013 03:59
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This thread is getting awfully creepy. What kinds of things have you been reading?
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May 11, 2013 04:01
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syscall girl posted:This thread is getting awfully creepy. Oh, you know, women's magazines, tabloids, fashion blogs, taxidermy websites, medieval fantasy rape/buffet novels, the usual.
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May 11, 2013 04:13
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I'm reading an Alan Dean Foster novel, myself. It's how I keep sane on the recumbant cycle  Yeah, you curl up on Flinx's shoulder, Pip, gently caress yeah!
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May 11, 2013 04:15
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I've been a lurker in the worst way. After I got hooked in the first 3 books--why do I still care about "what happens next?" First I hated/holy poo poo awesome the GURM for killing off Rob and his mom, and kept reading for some kind of vengeance but was only rewarded with Dany droppings. WTF? Yours truly, raping nuncles lover, awshucks101
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May 11, 2013 04:59
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Rarity posted:I would take a big steaming poo poo all over this thread but Joramun already does that every time he posts. Guys, Rarity can't be a woman, and this is proof. Women don't poop, it is known. This picture gets me everytime. And Dany still has to go to Asshai. That's gonna be a whole book in itself or fatass will just rush through and make it totally stupid and useless to the story.
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May 11, 2013 05:21
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She's going to spend the entirety of book 6 getting back to Meereen and book 7 going to Asshai, and then GRRM will extend the series to 10 books and promptly die.
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May 11, 2013 05:31
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To go West you must go East. Dany will go from Asshai to Casterly Rock, the reverse of Aegon. Just kidding. ADWD was the last book of the series.
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May 11, 2013 05:36
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The only character I like besides Hodor is that one assassin Stark girl. She has really been getting poo poo on in the last episode and I felt bad (the actress is doing a really good job). Good thing she gets hit by an ax and winds up in Mereen not really doing anything awesome. Thanks GURM, bastard.
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May 11, 2013 05:43
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Well, I guess she goes through that cool training stuff, but I really wanted her to kill some bad guys immediately and in gruesome ways. That one lame sorta accidental stabbing doesn't count. I guess what I'm trying to say is while I'm glad the American Tolkien subverts fantasy conventions, I wanted to see someone sympathetic be play by the bad guys rules and KILL KILL KILL.
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May 11, 2013 05:53
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syscall girl posted:This thread is getting awfully creepy. Only the finest selection of Mens Room Graffiti, the more public the toilet, the choicer the prose.
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May 11, 2013 05:54
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edit: I'm glad HBO showrunners have pretty much rewritten a bunch of stuff to make it more TV friendly, but a lot of that budget is overseas first-class flights, expensive catered meals and "holy poo poo I get to go where?" kind of stuff. The wildfire Bay scene was awesome but that a lot of that was CGI.
awshucks101 fucked around with this message at 13:13 on May 11, 2013 |
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May 11, 2013 06:01
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