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Forgive the reddit, but
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# ? Apr 22, 2014 16:05 |
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# ? Jun 9, 2024 18:33 |
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Pakled posted:Forgive the reddit, but You're right, it is stdh.txt that nobody bought that brave poster reddit gold credits for their harrowing story of an encounter with a cultist
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# ? Apr 22, 2014 16:07 |
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Okay, who's up for a round of "what actually happened." First off, gently caress those idiots and their hashtag abuse. Hashtags are bad enough when used correctly. What actually happened: A science teacher was doing a demo in front of the class, and mentioned that although the pumice could float in water, it would sink in alcohol. This dweeb drifted off into dreamland and fantasized about what would happen if one of those dirty sexhaving jocks brought alcohol into school (can you imagine?). Having never been invited to a party, the author assumes all forms of alcoholic beverage are not only flammable but also explosive. Author posts on tumblr. Author's story is believed without question because everyone on tumblr is a shut-in dweeb. edit: walrusman dreams of holding author's head in the toilet walrusman has a new favorite as of 00:55 on Apr 23, 2014 |
# ? Apr 23, 2014 00:48 |
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It's so easy to make these believable, but the people involved are just tremendously stupid. He could have picked almost any stupid setup but he had to pick pumice (a rock, that you can't reliably break into small pieces without grinding it into a powder unless you are standing at the front of the classroom with a jigsaw) and he had to pick the teacher dropping it into everyone's water bottle (I guess they didn't mind having a gross foreign object in their drinking water?) and also deciding that the right reaction to the experiment not working is to set the classroom on fire. The only believable part is that someone did try to drink vodka out of a water bottle at school.
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# ? Apr 23, 2014 00:58 |
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Even normal 80-proof vodka only burns reluctantly; dropping a match in it would do nothing. Even allowing for a completely insane teacher who solves mysteries by setting them on fire, the kid would literally have to drinking a water bottle full of Everclear for that story to be physically possible.
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# ? Apr 23, 2014 01:04 |
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walrusman posted:First off, gently caress those idiots and their hashtag abuse. Hashtags are bad enough when used correctly. Idk man I can totally envision uses for #but one of them didn't float
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# ? Apr 23, 2014 02:01 |
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But we all float down here.
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# ? Apr 23, 2014 02:33 |
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walrusman posted:Okay, who's up for a round of "what actually happened." Best part is, of course, that the hashtag abuser writes it was a female science teacher, while the picture shows a man.
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# ? Apr 23, 2014 03:32 |
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I don't even understand what dropping a match into a mystery substance was supposed to achieve. Even before that, why the gently caress was she dropping rocks into the kids personal drink bottles and not a beaker full of water where they could actually see what's going on?
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# ? Apr 23, 2014 03:57 |
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Because it didn't happen.
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# ? Apr 23, 2014 04:19 |
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Rudager posted:I don't even understand what dropping a match into a mystery substance was supposed to achieve. What kind of chemistry class did you have where they didn't teach you how to perform the crucial "water or gasoline" test?
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# ? Apr 23, 2014 04:21 |
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A Fancy 400 lbs posted:Because it didn't happen. let me rephrase, I don't how even a dumb teenager could write those things down and not realise how stupid they sounded.
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# ? Apr 23, 2014 04:28 |
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walrusman posted:solves mysteries by setting them on fire I just had an awesome idea for a new TV show.
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# ? Apr 23, 2014 04:28 |
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Khazar-khum posted:Best part is, of course, that the hashtag abuser writes it was a female science teacher, while the picture shows a man.
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# ? Apr 23, 2014 04:51 |
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Khazar-khum posted:Best part is, of course, that the hashtag abuser writes it was a female science teacher, while the picture shows a man.
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# ? Apr 23, 2014 09:15 |
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The worst thing about that tumblr screenshot is the "I LOVE SCIENCE" poo poo. These people post screenshots of explosions and galaxies with huge "SCIENCE RAWKS" captions, despite not giving a poo poo about the (admittedly drier) details. In reality, they don't love science at all, that's the real stdh right there.
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# ? Apr 23, 2014 11:13 |
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"It blew up". Christ that kid doesn't know how alcohol works, you'd be able to smell vodka without needing to set it on fire. poo poo that did happen though, I took a lighter to the spout(?) of a just finished vodka bottle, and like a rocket flames shot and burned me very slightly. My blisters were soooo almost painful. So whilst it would not blow up the fumes at least create a reaction with naked flames.
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# ? Apr 23, 2014 12:10 |
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Khazar-khum posted:Best part is, of course, that the hashtag abuser writes it was a female science teacher, while the picture shows a man. A guy in my grade nine English class lit his pants on fire while playing with a zippo he had just filled. This guy was really really stupid though.
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# ? Apr 23, 2014 13:04 |
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http://news.distractify.com/fun/bizarre/the-most-epic-text-pranks-of-all-time/?v=1 This made me really irritated because it was so close to believable. If they had just given the different characters more distinctive 'voices' (with grammar/spelling patterns, etc.) then I probably would have been hooked. Put in work, STDHers!
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# ? Apr 24, 2014 12:43 |
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I like how he and the 'victims' both send multiple messages (and presumably pay for the text) instead of just a single message. Also, sending OMG IM SO ANGRY CAPS TEXTS. Because that's not really something people do when texting angrily.
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# ? Apr 24, 2014 13:29 |
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You still pay per text?
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# ? Apr 24, 2014 13:50 |
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Be warned, I know judo!quote:Low On The Milk Of Human Kindness
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# ? Apr 24, 2014 13:56 |
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Khazar-khum posted:Be warned, I know judo! The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Post Your Favorite (or Request) > stdh.txt: I warned him I know judo, but he decided to hold on tighter. I then defended myself against a personal attack.
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# ? Apr 24, 2014 14:03 |
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quote:a self-defense class that uses non-excessive force
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# ? Apr 24, 2014 14:38 |
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I've never been to England but surely they have milk in larger containers than 2 pints? also your math is broken 14-2 = 10 booshi has a new favorite as of 15:08 on Apr 24, 2014 |
# ? Apr 24, 2014 15:06 |
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My Lovely Horse posted:I want to go to the other self-defense class. Right? "In tonight's lesson, I will teach you how to make the hand buzzer that Jack Nicholson used on that guy in Batman. Probably you should carry a can of Glade in your purse for afterwards." deadly_pudding has a new favorite as of 15:09 on Apr 24, 2014 |
# ? Apr 24, 2014 15:06 |
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booshi posted:I've never been to England but surely they have milk in larger containers than 2 pints? 4 and 8 pints, so I have no idea why anyone would buy 14 two-pint bottles when you could get the amount of milk you need in four bottles.
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# ? Apr 24, 2014 15:27 |
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booshi posted:also your math is broken 14-2 = 10 Glad I wasn't the only one who noticed that. A Top STDH Top Tip: when making poo poo up to fool people that it is real make sure you proof read! Yes, I know that no one on these stupid sites actually "proof reads" beyond changing the name of whatever place they are at to [well known store/company/call centre].
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# ? Apr 24, 2014 15:51 |
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MyFaceBeHi posted:Glad I wasn't the only one who noticed that. A Top STDH Top Tip: when making poo poo up to fool people that it is real make sure you proof read! We've seen the before and after from the editors. They double the STDH quotient pro bono.
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# ? Apr 24, 2014 15:56 |
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I don't think that guy really understands "non-excessive force," though he goes out of his way to say it multiple times.
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# ? Apr 24, 2014 18:26 |
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Sebastian Vettel posted:4 and 8 pints, so I have no idea why anyone would buy 14 two-pint bottles when you could get the amount of milk you need in four bottles. Because the class is making pancakes and it's easier to give each student a bottle than pour out an 8-pinter into smaller containers?
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# ? Apr 24, 2014 18:27 |
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One of my favorite aspects of STDHs is the ridiculously stilted and formal way these people supposedly speak in the middle of some pretty heated poo poo. "Be warned sir! I have spent many long years training in the ancient Japanese martial art of Judo, the Gentle Way and if you do not immediately cease and desist in your current brutish and unwelcome behavior I shall be forced to employ it against you. Furthermore..."
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# ? Apr 24, 2014 19:35 |
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It's like everybody in these things are Mojo Jojo from The Powerpuff Girls. That or they are secretly androids that have be so stiff and mechanical in their speech. As per protocol of course.
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# ? Apr 24, 2014 22:38 |
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Lowly posted:I don't think that guy really understands "non-excessive force," though he goes out of his way to say it multiple times. They probably mean "non-lethal" force.
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# ? Apr 24, 2014 22:51 |
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My favorite martial arts STDH, a couple 100 pages back now I think, complete with "news" article, talked about how somebody used an Aikido Kick on somebody. Aikido explicitly has no offensive kicking techniques.
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# ? Apr 24, 2014 22:52 |
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Sardonik posted:My favorite martial arts STDH, a couple 100 pages back now I think, complete with "news" article, talked about how somebody used an Aikido Kick on somebody. Aikido explicitly has no offensive kicking techniques. It's the same with judo, which is entirely grabs and throws and no strikes at all.
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# ? Apr 24, 2014 23:11 |
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HOOLY BOOLY posted:It's like everybody in these things are Mojo Jojo from The Powerpuff Girls. That or they are secretly androids that have be so stiff and mechanical in their speech. As per protocol of course. Oh my god. Yes. They are all Raging Furious Mojo Jojo vs. Calm & Calculated Alec Guinness a la Obi Wan.
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# ? Apr 25, 2014 00:29 |
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Khazar-khum posted:Most ingredients are shared but we need 14 two-pint jugs of milk. My wife is at the pancake display. There are loads of ready made, ready mix, and separate ingredient on display. It's the boring as gently caress description of how a grocery store shelves its products that really gets me fully enveloped into a story. Were there both name brand and store brand pancake mixes? How close was the syrup in relation to the pancakes? Did any of them have nearby coupons???
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# ? Apr 25, 2014 00:41 |
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jezebel posted:
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# ? Apr 25, 2014 04:16 |
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# ? Jun 9, 2024 18:33 |
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Just give the customer what they asked for and stop giving a poo poo
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# ? Apr 25, 2014 04:24 |