FrozenVent posted:

guys mlr got reincarnated

anthonypants posted:

the rest of that post is way, way worse than something mlr (rip) would have posted

Mulatto Butts posted:

version 1.0 was the best and every new incarnation has been worse and more unstable

anthonypants posted:

i just noticed it was in e/n and not the gbs bitcoin thread and started to read the op and that was a mistake

anthonypants posted:

i just noticed it was in e/n and not the gbs bitcoin thread and started to read the op and that was a mistake

Nintendo Kid posted:

link

Zombie Plague posted:

My friend and I stop by a local indy coffee shop one day and there a girl and three guys, and a giant pile of board games.

I'm a gamer, so I'm like "Cool, there are board games here!" What a cool coffee shop, to have board games for the customers, amirite?

Then this dark-haired girl says, "Excuse me, those are mine." She asks if we're from some "reddit meetup" to play boardgames. We're like no, we just stopped off for coffee.

This girl seems weird. Like who the hell advertises for random people to show up at a coffee shop to play board games? You don't know who might show up. Anybody could show up. Jeffrey Dahmer could show up! But apparently she does it all the time. Weird.

In any case she has three male friends, and they're all playing board games. We join for a few rounds of Settlers of Catan and Jenga. I think she's cool, in fact I think she's cute.

Initially she says she doesn't have a facebook, though of course she does, and that's a thing.

We become friends. My friend tries to disuade me, since her entire facebook is nothing but dudes, no female friends aside from family in sight.

But amazingly, she's into board games, and I'm into Warhammer. Her car is broken down and she ends up calling me up (manipulatively in hindsight) for rides and coffee lunch dates over the next six months

Long story short, while she is very geeky and cute, I quickly end up in the friend zone.

This girl is weird, but super-smart and in an MBA program, but still obsessed with anime at 26 and has weird ideas about sex; says she's a virgin, that she never masturbates and her dream man is a tall aryan Mormon boy (she's white/hispanic) who of course must work as an engineer and make good money. My friend says this is a bad sign, like this is the kinda thing little girls say, that she has no personality types or character traits that she's into, just a checklist of things to be checked off.

She also says she was sexually assaulted, although I'm not sure I believe this, but in any case she refuses to drink anything alcoholic because "That's how you get raped!"

I think she has issues, and there are shades of Denise from the infamous "Ask me about growing up with a girl who thinks she's married to anime guys" thread but I like her.

Typical friendzoned nerd, I end up driving her out to the OC, way far away, for the OC fair and a Mormon picnic gathering with a ton of Mormon boys. She quasi-flirts and plays religous board games with them right in front of me, but of course I'm just a friend at that point. She talks to drat near every guy there and talks to a bunch of them, making sure to get their info in her phone, to keep in touch.

I don't even know what to think at this point, I just got finagled into taking this girl to the OC Fair, and then she just flirted with a bunch of guys right in front of me, but of course we're "just friends" so I can't really say anything.

At one point during the picnic everyone starts lining up for ice cream, and she just talks to every boy there as they're all lined up. For the ones she liked, she made up an excuse to get their contact info into her cellphone.

Some of the Mormon girls were rolling their eyes at each other as she was doing all this BTW. Like how lame is this girl? Like, how transparent! What a loser! Girls don't ask guys for their number, right?

I tease her about it on the drive home; "You know, if a guy talked to every girl here and asked for all their numbers it would be the creepiest thing ever."

Her response; "But I can get away with it becasue I'm a gurrr-rrulll!"

But FML - She's dark-haired, sorta Hispanic, and attractive and a geeky nerd, and that combo just totally does it for me.

(As an aside my friend totally hates her, she dresses like a bum sometimes, has tons of dudes, and mostly dudes, on her facebook friends list. She has this laundry list of things her ideal man must be; tall, aryan, Mormon, engineer, but says nothing about his personality. My friend says this is a bad sign, like how an 11-year old girls talks about her dream man, just super-immature. She's also convinced she wants seven kids with whoever her dream man turns out to be. At one point she wanted nine, but now she's older and will settle for seven kids. He also thinks she's playing me, asking me for rides and coffee lunch dates because her car is busted.

In any case, we also end up going to E3. She gets me in. This is huge for me, as I work in the video game industry, although the trip is a bust because everyone there is a sold-out yuppie shill. No opportunities to get a job.

The trip is uneventful, and some time later she calls up wanting to do lunch and a movie, and sneaky me, I say oh, I'm busy in the afternoon, why don't we make it dinner and a movie? Nearly a year has gone by, and we know each other well enough at this point, why not dip a toe into those waters?

She sits in the theatre with her feet up on the chair and leans away from me for most of the movie. No chance to put my arm around her. We go for dinner someplace very nice (sushi) but the food sucks (drat!) so then have a follow up dinner at McDonald's (she suggested it, but I paid for everything, at both places.)

I drop her off, no hug or kiss goodnight.

I text my friend, like yeah, we went on this date, the sushi sucked, no hug or kiss goodnight, didn't even get to first base LOL, etc.

Turns out, I accidentally sent the text to HER.

OH NOES!

To her credit, she handled it well, sending me a text back saying it wasn't a date (bullshit, it was dinner and a movie, WTF, she shoulda known what was up, and my friend agrees when I tell him the story) and that I'm not what she's looking for, and we'll split the bill next time so it won't be awkward.

Time passes, and she ends up texting me later to invite me to a dinner at the Magic Castle, but the entry cost is $60 and I'd need a tux. The Magic Castle is awesome, but I have other things going on, and I don't need to be her dinner not-a-date friend, so I pass.

She's insistent that I come, but I still pass.

But then she talks down to me about, which is just one of those things that sends me straight to 10.

I call her a oval office, she responds back "That's not cool, look at what you're sending me."

I'm like "What, calm down?"

She's like, "I don't have to take this, I'm ending our friendship, goodbye, don't ever text me again."

Some time passes and I kinda realize I hosed up. You see, I'm also unemployed this entire time and she agreed to cover for me, saying I worked at this bullshit start-up company she's starting as part of her MBA program (the company does nothing, and is more proof of concept.) But hey, free job reference to cover the unemployment, and I can create my own job title! Score!

I have now just pissed that all away. FML.

She leaves home for winter break, and she's super into Monster High dolls, so I figure I'll get her a Monster High doll for Christmas to apologize, she'll love it, and everything will be all good. She's gone for break, so I leave the gift-wrapped doll near her mailbox with a Christmas card.

After a few days, the doll is gone, but no dice - no response.

I look up her facebook profile and it's gone (but not blocked) but she was saying something about how she has to delete her social media sites because of the MBA program.

She unblocks it to post something and I send her a fb message saying, hey what's up, how's the MBA program going? No response.

Some time after that, going through some old facebook stuff, I realize she has untagged herself from every photo we ever took together, and also deleted the comments she left on my facebook posts. Christ.

Look, I really need that phantom job at her "company" and I like her. I send one or two texts, they go unanswered.

OK, she's pissed. Fine. But girls never mean what they say, right? Just give them a little time and they come around, right?

Three months pass, and E3 rolls around again. poo poo, I kinda want to go for the networking oppurtunities and to take photos for facebook. You know, prove I'm in the industry? But to do that, she has to get me in. gently caress.

She clearly wants nothing to do with me, but I think hey, I'll just stop by her house. Maybe see if she wants coffee? Mend bridges?

She's in school now, so I roll over there at 8:30. I get to her place, it's a little two-story mini apartment.

The thing is, the top story is lit but the curtains are pulled, and I can see her lithe form through the backlit curtains. It's like something out of a movie.

I pause, then knock.

I can hear her coming downstairs and she answers the door.

Her face drops when she sees it's me.

"No. That's not cool. You shouldn't have come here."

I just stare for half a second. I haven't seen her in three months. Her hair is different. She has nappy hair being half Dominican, and she's always doing things with it. I don't like what's she's done with it, but it's different and I haven't seen her in months. I try to form words, but I've got nothing. I was kinda just hoping she'd be in a better mood.

She says, "Don't come back here." and then shuts the door.

End of story.

So... yeah, I hosed that up.

My friend thinks she's lame for all the reasons I mentioned above, and he also thought she was lame for not sending a thank you note for the doll, although he disproved of me calling her a oval office. What can I say, she pushed my buttons. Friends tell each other when they're mad, although not having any female friends I sorta forgot that can't take hardcore ribbing. My friend also thought she was playing me, by constantly asking me for rides and coffee lunch dates because her car is busted. The bit about taking her to the Mormon picnic so she could flirt with boys right in front of me irked him too, and that she knew what she was doing. Her being crazy racist at times didn't help either. She also had atrocious table manners and poor self-care and hygiene skills.

In any case, to wrap this up, I have a job interview tomorrow, but it's for yet another poo poo job. Life would be so much sweeter if I could claim I was a customer service manager or product manager or some such thing at her bullshit company. gently caress.

So goons, I think the lesson here is maybe just be happy in the friend zone. I realize only now I need the career help and E3 invites more than I need a girlfriend, especially one as fake, shallow, crazy racist, and with such poor self-care and hygiene skills as hers.

So... thoughts?

Linguica posted:

SynthOrange posted:

duTrieux. posted:

he should totally bring it up, the friendly neighborhood tax man will provide all sorts of helpful advice. also, free jumpsuits and all-you-can-eat institutional canned carrots!

api call girl posted:

this is that ~250 days between bubbles~ thing isn't it

anthonypants posted:

totally unrelated to the magic: the gathering: online bot(s) too

Boxturret posted:

nope

rotor posted:

i have never been more sure of anything in my entire life

Brain Aged posted:

i never realized working at gamestop was considered "working in the game industry"

Sweevo posted:

i have an idea for a game, now i just need someone to make it for me

MORE CURLY FRIES posted:

i need an ideas guy

SynthOrange posted:

MORE CURLY FRIES posted:

i need an ideas guy

kiwid posted:

lol

penus de milo posted:

cool avatar mate

kiwid posted:

This guy made it: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3549812

kiwid posted:

This guy made it: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3549812

Dren posted:

i want to reply to that en thread and get him more focused on his missed bitcoin opportunity but talking to him feels too much like poop touching

FrozenVent posted:

lol you paid 25-40 bucks for an avatar, then another 5 to change it

i hope you piss someone off and get a redtext

FrozenVent posted:

lol you paid 25-40 bucks for an avatar, then another 5 to change it

i hope you piss someone off and get a redtext