Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

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Mirificus: Oct 29, 2004; Kings need not raise their voices to be heard

CIG mods are normally quite eager to close necro'd threads, especially Boraxx. This 2+ year old thread was brought back on the 21st and is still hanging around.

https://forums.robertsspaceindustries.com/discussion/188871/birds-and-other-animals-insects-not-as-pets-just-immersion

# ? Jan 24, 2016 01:15

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# ? Jun 9, 2024 08:23

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

Toops posted:

Ok here's a serious question. How the are they making even 75k a day? Let's do some math.

*genius-level analysis*

Remember, this is 75k a day which is a dangerously low income level for CIG (2.25 M per month, not counting taxes, so more like 1.7M per month @~28% corp tax)

I'll let you guys draw your own conclusions, but any way I chop these numbers, I catch a real bad smell. I just don't see how any of these options are sustainable.

Feel free to share your read on this, or add your own calcs.

OK guys, I went and did you all a freaking service, and designed a mensa-member-level computer program for you all to download and use to calculate theoretical CIG revenue.

https://github.com/hireMeCIG/sperg_calculator

From the README:

quote:

To use this sperg calculator, call the rake tasks.

Use this handy task to calculate daily theoretical sperg jpeg waste
> rake calculate

Specify what the daily revenue was that day!
> rake calculate daily_revenue=<INTEGER>

# Note: We are working on 64-bit precision data for the daily_revenue, expect that in two weeks

Tweak the numbers to craft your own personal sperg's mom's credit-card-backed distribution profile!!!
Just check out sperg_config.yml

We express distinct groups of sperg-delusion as averaged jpeg price-points,
and specify what percentage of the daily aggregate that particular(ly sad) group
contributed to Crobber's Hollywood/Coke fund.

Here's a pretty sweet example!!

distribution:
  base:
    price: 45
    percent: 25

  believer:
    price: 100
    percent: 50

  whale:
    price: 500
    percent: 15

  sperg_whale:
    price: 1000
    percent: 10

Usage and Sample Output:
$ rake calculate

BASE (25%):
419 Purchases Per Day
152,938 Purchases Per Year

BELIEVER (50%):
378 Purchases Per Day
137,973 Purchases Per Year

WHALE (15%):
25 Purchases Per Day
9,128 Purchases Per Year

SPERG_WHALE (10%):
10 Purchases Per Day
3,653 Purchases Per Year

Totals:
1,192 Purchases Per Day
432,861 Purchases Per Year

$

#### NOTE ABOUT INACCURACIES (Think CIG positive!!)
You might notice the numbers don't add up. Don't worry about that. We assume a minimum of $3,000,000 in revenue per month and adjust all the rest of the numbers if our daily_revenue didn't match that minimum income to "keep the lights on" (*wink wink* right Chris?).

Don't wanna spook the whales LOL!!

#### Curous about how CIG's funding is going? ME TOO!! Well NOW YOU CAN!!!

$ rake funds:remaining
PLENTY!

$ rake funds:audit
PLENTY! Haha we have enough to make this game twice! LOOK!!! JPEG!! SPECIAL!! We recommend spending at least $150 real human dollars on ~~bullshit~~ jpegs

#### You can even specify who the auditor is!

$ rake funds:audit auditor="karl"
You're not an auditor, Karl. JPEG store is --->

$ rake funds:audit auditor="person with pubes"
SHAVE YOUR loving PUBES YOU HEATHEN!!!!!
Plenty of cash left hahaha no seriously, nothing to worry about!

$ rake funds:audit auditor="bird"
SQUAAAK!!!

Toops fucked around with this message at 01:30 on Jan 24, 2016

# ? Jan 24, 2016 01:16

Tha_Joker_GAmer: Aug 16, 2006

wish something funny would happen

# ? Jan 24, 2016 01:37

CrazyLoon: Aug 10, 2015; "..."

Eonwe posted:

What the gently caress

Now you understand the full depth of why I said it's the saddest thing I've ever seen. It's not even: "We're giving you a .jpeg ship for free for Valentine's." It happens to be: "We're giving you an ingame-only tiny MODEL of a .jpeg ship." :psyduck:

For Valentine's day some people hook up via internet dating sites. Others go on a date, or send chocolates, or letters, or hell, just spend time with people they like.

But the true Star Shitizen...he gets to admire a .jpeg that is not even a .jpeg ship...all alone.

And people still wonder, why the hardliner whales like Dickwulf are utterly depressed.

# ? Jan 24, 2016 01:37

Berious: Nov 13, 2005

drat Dirty Ape posted:

He was hiding on the toilet you idiot. Also, who refers to taking a poo poo as 'deploying your waste'? Why am I even responding to this?

I'm assuming this guy puts a lot of thought into when, where, how and onto what when taking a poo poo. With military like planning that could be characterized as deploying. I'm guessing it's not his first post about immersive crapping.

# ? Jan 24, 2016 01:38

Berious: Nov 13, 2005

CrazyLoon posted:

Now you understand the full depth of why I said it's the saddest thing I've ever seen. It's not even: "We're giving you a .jpeg ship for free for Valentine's." It happens to be: "We're giving you an ingame-only tiny MODEL of a .jpeg ship."

Think I know the answer but when they say "giving" I assume they mean "an opportunity to buy"?

# ? Jan 24, 2016 01:40

eonwe: Aug 11, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

lol

# ? Jan 24, 2016 01:40

Jobbo_Fett: Mar 7, 2014; Slava Ukrayini; Clapping Larry

Berious posted:

Think I know the answer but when they say "giving" I assume they mean "an opportunity to buy"?

They are giving you the opportunity to buy stuff, via donations.

# ? Jan 24, 2016 01:41

CrazyLoon: Aug 10, 2015; "..."

Berious posted:

Think I know the answer but when they say "giving" I assume they mean "an opportunity to buy"?

I sure hope they don't make their subscribers buy that poo poo and that it is just a 'gift' for their loyalty lol. Still, it wouldn't surprise me.

# ? Jan 24, 2016 01:41

peter gabriel: Nov 8, 2011; Hello Commandos

Liu posted:

wish something funny would happen

Best I can do atm

# ? Jan 24, 2016 01:42

mrking: May 27, 2006; There's No Limit To What We Can't Accomplish

Berious posted:

Think I know the answer but when they say "giving" I assume they mean "an opportunity to buy"?

I thought you get the model when you buy the ship but this sounds more like CIG too be honest

# ? Jan 24, 2016 01:46

Beet Wagon: Oct 19, 2015

Eonwe posted:

What the gently caress

Yup. The ship that's a model of (the Starfarer) has been in production for like three years at this point, and the people who spent $175 on one only have that model to look at. Well, a couple weeks ago they got a video tour of it (it's almost done, you guys, we swear!) so there's that.

Don't feel too bad though, they have a lot more than anybody who bought a Caterpillar or Banu Merchantmen. Hope those guys like actual JPEGS cause that's all they are gonna have for a looooong time.

# ? Jan 24, 2016 01:46

MeLKoR: Dec 23, 2004; by FactsAreUseless

You guys know that you can submit support requests from different accounts if you buy them second hand, right? Talk with Derek, he can set you up. I'm submitting 3, some days 4 requests. Hahaha, and I keep pestering them with the same poo poo it's driving them nuts, they can't get rid of "us". Just sayin'.

# ? Jan 24, 2016 01:46

spacetoaster: Feb 10, 2014

Liu posted:

wish something funny would happen

A small gift, for you, from the chiner thread: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGbFNg-OVw4

Please watch until at least :26 where you can see a chinese goon.

# ? Jan 24, 2016 01:47

Beet Wagon: Oct 19, 2015

CrazyLoon posted:

I sure hope they don't make their subscribers buy that poo poo and that it is just a 'gift' for their loyalty lol. Still, it wouldn't surprise me.

Nah, they give it to all the subscribers for free. As in they don't have to pay anything extra (besides their $10 a month subscription) to get it.

# ? Jan 24, 2016 01:48

Kakarot: Jul 20, 2013; by zen death robot; Buglord

MeLKoR posted:

You guys know that you can submit support requests from different accounts if you buy them second hand, right? Talk with Derek, he can set you up. I'm submitting 3, some days 4 requests. Hahaha, and I keep pestering them with the same poo poo it's driving them nuts, they can't get rid of "us". Just sayin'.

poo poo! I didnt know that, I just got the normal info here You need a platinum account to view this message. so Ive been running just 1 account

haha Im gonna spam the crap out of them now with about 5-8 accounts!

# ? Jan 24, 2016 01:49

spacetoaster: Feb 10, 2014

MeLKoR posted:

You guys know that you can submit support requests from different accounts if you buy them second hand, right? Talk with Derek, he can set you up. I'm submitting 3, some days 4 requests. Hahaha, and I keep pestering them with the same poo poo it's driving them nuts, they can't get rid of "us". Just sayin'.

The free, non-donor, accounts can submit support tickets too. You need a Platinum Account to view this message is updating our bot program to create these accounts AND submit fake tickets to support. You need a Platinum Account to view this message is pretty sure this'll destroy their ability to do customer support.

# ? Jan 24, 2016 01:55

Jobbo_Fett: Mar 7, 2014; Slava Ukrayini; Clapping Larry

Lol I should join on this, that'll teach them those stupid redditors for banning me from /r/DerekSmart!

# ? Jan 24, 2016 01:56

fuctifino: Jun 11, 2001

CAPTAIN CAPSLOCK posted:

but enough about your reward for getting 10 referrals

I had 3 shitizens send me a PM on reddit after I wrote my "What ship should I buy?" post, all giving me their referral codes.

I thanked them each individually, telling them that I used their codes to get a $45 package.

I am a bad person.

# ? Jan 24, 2016 01:58

CAPTAIN CAPSLOCK: Sep 11, 2001

fuctifino posted:

I had 3 shitizens send me a PM on reddit after I wrote my "What ship should I buy?" post, all giving me their referral codes.

I thanked them each individually, telling them that I used their codes to get a $45 package.

I am a bad person.

I'm still waiting for the first person to post saying they successfully got 10 referrals.

# ? Jan 24, 2016 02:02

fuctifino: Jun 11, 2001

CAPTAIN CAPSLOCK posted:

I'm still waiting for the first person to post saying they successfully got 10 referrals.

Off-topic and on the subject of referrals, the hosed company that I used to work had this image on their site for 6 months, until someone with legal knowledge informed the CEO that ponzi's were illegal.

They had a 1000 level referral system, their own currency, unsurprisingly never paid out, and was run like a mini version of CIG.

fuctifino fucked around with this message at 02:11 on Jan 24, 2016

# ? Jan 24, 2016 02:07

eonwe: Aug 11, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

im making homemade red beans & rice

# ? Jan 24, 2016 02:07

peter gabriel: Nov 8, 2011; Hello Commandos

Eonwe posted:

im making homemade red beans & rice

good poo poo

# ? Jan 24, 2016 02:09

Tippis: Mar 21, 2008; It's yet another day in the wasteland.

Eonwe posted:

im making homemade red beans & rice

How do you make beans?

# ? Jan 24, 2016 02:10

CashEnsign: Feb 7, 2015

Tippis posted:

How do you make beans?

Sans chili of course.

# ? Jan 24, 2016 02:40

Tijuana Bibliophile: Dec 30, 2008; Scratchmo

Jobbo_Fett posted:

Get in touch with Sandi and see if she'll pay you ad money for it.

You do not understand Star Citizen, friend

Naturally, I will pay them for the privilege

# ? Jan 24, 2016 02:45

eonwe: Aug 11, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Tippis posted:

How do you make beans?

The beans are an ingredient

# ? Jan 24, 2016 02:48

Tippis: Mar 21, 2008; It's yet another day in the wasteland.

CashEnsign posted:

Sans chili of course.

Eonwe posted:

The beans are an ingredient

So you take a fake-chili, run it through a sieve or something, et voil�: beans. Seems cumbersome.

# ? Jan 24, 2016 03:00

Mirificus: Oct 29, 2004; Kings need not raise their voices to be heard

https://forums.robertsspaceindustries.com/discussion/314919/star-citizen-release-what-year-will-should-it-be

# ? Jan 24, 2016 03:10

Damn Dirty Ape: Jan 23, 2015; I love you Dr. Zaius

So what exactly is persistent about the persistent universe anyway?

# ? Jan 24, 2016 03:11

Tippis: Mar 21, 2008; It's yet another day in the wasteland.

drat Dirty Ape posted:

So what exactly is persistent about the persistent universe anyway?

Some of the bugs definitely seem to persist over multiple patches.

# ? Jan 24, 2016 03:13

Xaerael: Aug 25, 2010; Marching Powder is objectively the worst poster known. He also needs to learn how a keyboard works.

drat Dirty Ape posted:

So what exactly is persistent about the persistent universe anyway?

The Citizens who say it's not broken as gently caress.

# ? Jan 24, 2016 03:14

fuctifino: Jun 11, 2001

Once CIG goes tits up, Star Citizen will only exist in the dreams and daydreams of menchildren throughout the world.

Chris said the same during that recent interview, when he was asked to write what SC was about, and he wrote "DREAM!".

e:

fuctifino fucked around with this message at 03:22 on Jan 24, 2016

# ? Jan 24, 2016 03:17

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

guys, I need more ideas for exception handling. here's what I have so far:

code:

class StardardCitizenException < RuntimeError
  def initialize
    super("CITIZEN! GET A REFUND!!!")
  end
end

class KarltimeError < RuntimeError
  def inizialize
    super("Karl, GO gently caress YOURSELF.")
  end
end

class MatildaMeltdownException < RuntimeError
  def inizialize
    super("Matilda, please calm down. Look at this picture of the color blue. Please Matilda. Relax.")
  end
end

# ? Jan 24, 2016 03:19

Damn Dirty Ape: Jan 23, 2015; I love you Dr. Zaius

I mean, how can they even refer to it as a persistent universe alpha when there is absolutely nothing persistent about it? The game runs like dogshit as it is with everyone running around as the exact same avatar with all the same ships and absolutely nothing unique being loaded from (or saved to) the server for anything.

# ? Jan 24, 2016 03:19

Tijuana Bibliophile: Dec 30, 2008; Scratchmo

spacetoaster posted:

The free, non-donor, accounts can submit support tickets too. You need a Platinum Account to view this message is updating our bot program to create these accounts AND submit fake tickets to support. You need a Platinum Account to view this message is pretty sure this'll destroy their ability to do customer support.

I've been working the Markov chain to generate stupidly complex support requests. It will always require a fair bit of editing of course, but it will still speed up ticket generation something fierce. Please pm me your (anonymized) support requests so that I can feed it.

# ? Jan 24, 2016 03:21

Tippis: Mar 21, 2008; It's yet another day in the wasteland.

Toops posted:

guys, I need more ideas for exception handling. here's what I have so far:

code:

class StardardCitizenException < RuntimeError
  def initialize
    super("CITIZEN! GET A REFUND!!!")
  end
end

class KarltimeError < RuntimeError
  def inizialize
    super("Karl, GO gently caress YOURSELF.")
  end
end

class MatildaMeltdownException < RuntimeError
  def inizialize
    super("Matilda, please calm down. Look at this picture of the color blue. Please Matilda. Relax.")
  end
end

Will the colour blue really help? Not a rubber mallet to the head followed by some injections and a straightjacket?

# ? Jan 24, 2016 03:23

ewe2: Jul 1, 2009

Rough Privateer Centurion viewport "for balance"

# ? Jan 24, 2016 03:25

Toops: Nov 5, 2015; -find mood stabilizers
-also,

Tippis posted:

Will the colour blue really help? Not a rubber mallet to the head followed by some injections and a straightjacket?

Good point. I'll add a try/catch clause that catches any MatildaMeltdownException and throws a mallet to the face and continues program execution.

# ? Jan 24, 2016 03:25

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# ? Jun 9, 2024 08:23

Tokamak: Dec 22, 2004

drat Dirty Ape posted:

So what exactly is persistent about the persistent universe anyway?

I learnt today that the noodle vending machine which people transport from station to station is client side. Each person has their own copy of it and does not see anyone else's.

# ? Jan 24, 2016 03:27

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