Got a crazy forwarded political email from your family? Post them here.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > Got a crazy forwarded political email from your family? Post them here.

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Dameius: Apr 3, 2006

Oh, no, I meant as in Plato Platonic, like representing truth from the cave. :blush:

# ? Jul 27, 2018 01:29

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# ? Jun 8, 2024 21:11

Subjunctive: Sep 12, 2006; ✨sparkle and shine✨

You did nothing wrong.

# ? Jul 27, 2018 01:47

Dr. Arbitrary: Mar 15, 2006; Bleak Gremlin

Dameius posted:

Oh, no, I meant as in Plato Platonic, like representing truth from the cave.

You're good. You even capitalized "Ideal."

# ? Jul 27, 2018 02:34

Grimdude: Sep 25, 2006; It was a shame how he carried on

OwlFancier posted:

it just makes me hungry. Then again so does pig poo poo

# ? Jul 27, 2018 04:04

gradenko_2000: Oct 5, 2010; HELL SERPENT; Lipstick Apathy

quote:

The Parable of the Scholar and the Activist

They were actually students who went to the same university which was located near a soy sauce factory. Everyday on their way to class, they saw how the workers toiled hard while the owners of the factory feasted on sushi dipped in their brand of soy sauce with wasabi while watching their workers.

In their hearts, the scholar and the activist knew that what they witness daily on their way to school does not seem right. Over time, they also noticed that nothing much changed in the lives of the workers except that they seem to be more defeated daily by age while the factory owner and his family continue to prosper and their feasting became more extravagant.

The situation was clearly unjust. The workers are not getting a fair share of what they toil on as the owners accumulated wealth and became richer.

Both the scholar and the activist were concerned and empathized with the workers. The activist became angry and ranted at the injustice of it all. With what he learned from the Basic Introduction to the Beginner's Course in Economics he became convinced that he knew what was wrong and that he had the answer. And he dedicated his student life living out this belief, even acquiring the habit of raising his voice to insist that he is right, insulting anyone who opposes him. And he nearly got tendonitis from raising his arm with clenched fist.

The scholar on the other hand also felt the same empathy for the workers. But he knew as a student, his duty was to acquire knowledge and skills that will make him a productive member of society. He felt for the workers but he is also aware of his obligation to his family and the state who shoulders his education. And so he carried on as a dutiful student, hungry for knowledge and thirsting for the truth. On occasion he would of course party and even speak his mind when asked, always apologetic for the inadequacy of his knowledge.

On graduation day, the activist could not take part because he had some failed subjects. And so what he did was to unfurl a banner with his friends to shout "SERVE THE PEOPLE!" and other slogans disturbing the solemnity of the ceremony.

The scholar on the other hand, got his diploma, thanked his parents, his teachers and the State. And he said nothing more.

On their way home, they passed by the soy sauce factory and saw some workers on strike. Later, they also learned that the strikers were violently dispersed.

The activist as usual gave in to anger, ranted, raged and called on people to boycott the soy sauce from that company.

The scholar however, with his new knowledge, unlocked the secret of the soy sauce, created a new soy sauce enterprise and employed the striking workers. And he even gave the workers part ownership of the company he founded. And the country was all the better for it.

End of story.

# ? Aug 1, 2018 15:13

sirtommygunn: Mar 7, 2013

I think that would be considered pornographic content with how much the storyteller is jerking themselves off.

# ? Aug 1, 2018 15:20

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

And that scholar was Albert Einstein, Soy entrepreneur and alumnus of of We Give Every Graduate A Factory And The Means Of Sauce Production U.

# ? Aug 1, 2018 15:22

Keeshhound: Jan 14, 2010; Mad Duck Swagger

So the point is that the Scholer lived an unfulfilling life dedicated to pursuing the hollow goals of capitalist entrepreneurship that society tries to convince us will lead to happiness, but could not completely ignore the guilt of knowing that others had to suffer for their success and tried to assuage that guilt through equally hollow actions like offering stock options?

And the Activist by contrast found fulfillment and, you know, friends, by dedicating themselves to a higher cause instead of chasing an the inherently ephemeral idea of material success?

# ? Aug 1, 2018 15:38

Dameius: Apr 3, 2006

Keeshhound posted:

So the point is that the Scholer lived an unfulfilling life dedicated to pursuing the hollow goals of capitalist entrepreneurship that society tries to convince us will lead to happiness, but could not completely ignore the guilt of knowing that others had to suffer for their success and tried to assuage that guilt through equally hollow actions like offering stock options?

And the Activist by contrast found fulfillment and, you know, friends, by dedicating themselves to a higher cause instead of chasing an the inherently ephemeral idea of material success?

Yeah but he nearly got tendonitis from raising his arm with clenched fist. So there is that.

# ? Aug 1, 2018 15:54

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

Also what graduations are solemn occasions where graduates thank 'the State'?

This doesn't read like standard right wing glurge, nobody thanked Jesus or the veterans, and the scholar gave the workers part ownership (from magic investment money) rather than becoming a millionaire. It's more like something from the internal propaganda of some authoritarian semi-socialist state; be a good worker and a good scholar and you will be rewarded, be a troublemaker and you will get violent dispersal and tendonitis.

# ? Aug 1, 2018 16:02

Ashcans: Jan 2, 2006; Let's do the space-time warp again!

I remember when Rosa Parks got her MS in Urban Planning and Transit and started a rival bus company in AL that didn't segregate seating and thereby drove the terrible buses out of business.

It's a good thing she was able to get all that venture capital backing from an eccentric billionaire with a flair for moral deeds, too.

# ? Aug 1, 2018 16:42

jjack229: Feb 14, 2008; Articulate your needs. I'm here to listen.

Not the point of the made up story, but I have been to and worked at several factories and I can't imagine a layout that allows pedestrians to see:

quote:

how the workers toiled hard while the owners of the factory feasted on sushi dipped in their brand of soy sauce with wasabi while watching their workers.

All I can picture is a small, outdoor factory right next to the road with a table right up against the fence where the owners eat so that the pedestrians can see the wasabi and the brand of the soy sauce.

# ? Aug 1, 2018 17:59

Pththya-lyi: Nov 8, 2009; THUNDERDOME LOSER 2020

I like how the solution to the workers' plight is giving them ownership of the means of production,* not socialism.

*Yes, I realize the scholar probably still maintains a majority stake, but still

Pththya-lyi fucked around with this message at 18:16 on Aug 1, 2018

# ? Aug 1, 2018 18:13

Faustian Bargain: Apr 12, 2014

quote:

And he even gave the workers part ownership of the company he founded.

Ah so the solution is for people to stop being greedy and spread the wealth. Perhaps we should enforce this instead of letting the individual make a decision out of the goodness of their hearts.

# ? Aug 1, 2018 18:39

Dr. Arbitrary: Mar 15, 2006; Bleak Gremlin

An actually good story would be along the lines of the activist organizing boycotts, protesting in front of stores.

The Scholar on the other hand read about economic theories, management and eventually wrote an article published in a prominent economic journal.

Then one day the Scholar and Activist walked past the plant and saw the owners of the factory hanging from nooses. The workers, tired of abuse rose up and took control of the factory for themselves.

# ? Aug 1, 2018 18:48

Defenestration: Aug 10, 2006; "It wasn't my fault that my first unconscious thought turned out to be-"
"Jesus, kid, what?"
"That something smelled delicious!"; Grimey Drawer

The scholar read the works of Marx, Engels, and Lenin, and was able to define the problem and articulate a clear, meaningful solution to his fellow factory workers: we must own the means of production.

# ? Aug 1, 2018 23:39

Defenestration: Aug 10, 2006; "It wasn't my fault that my first unconscious thought turned out to be-"
"Jesus, kid, what?"
"That something smelled delicious!"; Grimey Drawer

meanwhile I'm pleased to report that my favorite conspiracy (obama is gay, michelle is a man) is still alive and well

https://twitter.com/mmfa/status/1024767178749435917

# ? Aug 1, 2018 23:40

Keeshhound: Jan 14, 2010; Mad Duck Swagger

Ten!? I know he's in pretty good shape, but that's a lot of loving for a dude who's almost 60.

Where does he find the time?

# ? Aug 1, 2018 23:44

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

That's what the adrenochrome is for, he needs it to keep up his legendary amounts of buggery.

# ? Aug 1, 2018 23:44

PhazonLink: Jul 17, 2010

In a row?

# ? Aug 1, 2018 23:49

Defenestration: Aug 10, 2006; "It wasn't my fault that my first unconscious thought turned out to be-"
"Jesus, kid, what?"
"That something smelled delicious!"; Grimey Drawer

well if you have one in front and one in the back that cuts it down to loving half as much idk I don't have gay sex

# ? Aug 1, 2018 23:58

Keeshhound: Jan 14, 2010; Mad Duck Swagger

quote:

And look, Obama’s having sex with 10 dudes a day, whatever. The point is is that that’s what’s going on on your taxpayer time. He’s not watching SportsCenter three hours a day up there, OK? OK? And the report is he’s got -- I’m not going to get into it on a family show -- but let’s just say Amtrak isn’t just a train.

Ten dudes in three hours!!!? :magical:

# ? Aug 2, 2018 00:01

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

If you're very omnidextrous you could probably manage five at once with some special equipment.

Any more than that though and you're rationing like one foot per dong and that's just sad.

# ? Aug 2, 2018 00:01

Defenestration: Aug 10, 2006; "It wasn't my fault that my first unconscious thought turned out to be-"
"Jesus, kid, what?"
"That something smelled delicious!"; Grimey Drawer

OwlFancier posted:

If you're very omnidextrous you could probably manage five at once with some special equipment.

Any more than that though and you're rationing like one foot per dong and that's just sad.

maybe we're thinking about this the wrong way. in Alex Jones' world not all the partners climax from sex, so Obama could reasonably just do a bit of the old in and out a few times in rapid succession on each and be out in 15 min tops

# ? Aug 2, 2018 00:05

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

When he goes into his office there's a row of ten dudes lined up with their cocks out, and he does a sprint and football slides along the corridor with one arm up and slaps them all on the dong as he goes past.

Boom done, 3 hours left to watch the telly.

# ? Aug 2, 2018 00:22

wizzardstaff: Apr 6, 2018; Zorch! Splat! Pow!

This dick-optimization problem has been explored in Silicon Valley: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7rdyrtEf2Jk

# ? Aug 2, 2018 00:51

T-man: Aug 22, 2010; Talk shit, get bzzzt.

Keeshhound posted:

Ten!? I know he's in pretty good shape, but that's a lot of loving for a dude who's almost 60.

Where does he find the time?

Everyone makes time when your dad comes into town, and into that town's residency.

# ? Aug 2, 2018 03:46

Mystic Mongol: Jan 5, 2007; Your life's been thrown in disarray already--I wouldn't want you to feel pressured.; College Slice

Taxpayer time? Obama still has to work!? That poor bastard, I thought he got to retire.

# ? Aug 2, 2018 05:27

Orange Devil: Oct 1, 2010; Wullie's reign cannae smother the flames o' equality!

Keeshhound posted:

Ten!? I know he's in pretty good shape, but that's a lot of loving for a dude who's almost 60.

Where does he find the time?

There must be thousands of dudes who had sex with Obama now, I'm sure we can find one willing to make the big bucks by giving a tell-all interview, right?

# ? Aug 2, 2018 14:51

Subjunctive: Sep 12, 2006; ✨sparkle and shine✨

Mystic Mongol posted:

Taxpayer time? Obama still has to work!? That poor bastard, I thought he got to retire.

I think he retires on a publicly funded pension, yeah.

# ? Aug 2, 2018 16:33

Vlaphor: Dec 18, 2005; Lipstick Apathy

Keeshhound posted:

Ten dudes in three hours!!!?

Squad goals

# ? Aug 2, 2018 23:07

Vinny the Shark: Oct 11, 2005

One of those dudes had to be Michelle.

# ? Aug 2, 2018 23:39

jivjov: Sep 13, 2007; But how does it taste? Yummy!; Dinosaur Gum

https://twitter.com/werwolf96/status/1024044632248856576?s=21

# ? Aug 3, 2018 00:00

DarkHorse: Dec 13, 2006; Vroom vroom, BEEP BEEP!; Nap Ghost

Dat ratio

# ? Aug 3, 2018 00:04

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

Is that Werwolf as in Operation Werwolf?

Nevermind, I already know the answer.

# ? Aug 3, 2018 05:37

Katt: Nov 14, 2017

jivjov posted:

https://twitter.com/werwolf96/status/1024044632248856576?s=21

He did that on purpose and it was a fantastic troll.

# ? Aug 3, 2018 10:43

Vandar: Sep 14, 2007; Isn't That Right, Chairman?

https://twitter.com/ARmastrangelo/status/1023291321199542272?s=20

What, youre going to try and shoot someone for taking your straw?

# ? Aug 3, 2018 19:09

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

Also p sure during the AWB they literally could take your AR15.

# ? Aug 3, 2018 19:10

Invalid Validation: Jan 13, 2008

I like how these nut jobs think someone is going to physically come to their house and take their guns. Ya know instead of just not letting you buy them off someone behind a folding table at a gun show.

# ? Aug 3, 2018 19:17

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# ? Jun 8, 2024 21:11

Keeshhound: Jan 14, 2010; Mad Duck Swagger

It's also not a government initiative, it's a grassroots thing.

And they don't want to take your straws, they want food shops to stop distributing them. No one cares about individuals with straws, it's the fact that a single McDonald's throws away several thousand a day that people are bothered by.

# ? Aug 3, 2018 19:20

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > Got a crazy forwarded political email from your family? Post them here.

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