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Half-wit
Aug 31, 2005

Half a wit more than baby Asahel, or half a wit less? You decide.
This is our cyberpunk dystopia.

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Naked Bear
Apr 15, 2007

Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!
https://twitter.com/borboagrant/status/1107727029493874688

CRUSTY MINGE
Mar 30, 2011

Peggy Hill
Foot Connoisseur
That looks like a three gallon bin. How'd she get 5.5 gallons of ranch in there.

Also looks like Fox and Hound uniforms.

Slim Pickens
Jan 12, 2007

Grimey Drawer


How much does it cost to ship a pallet of dildos for secret santa?

A Bad Poster
Sep 25, 2006
Seriously, shut the fuck up.

:dukedog:
Whatever it is, it's worth it.

Naked Bear
Apr 15, 2007

Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

Naked Bear posted:

Why are all the women left in the dating pool at this age fat vegetarians? :negative:
:sigh:

Scratch one more.

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

Shim I still have a plat cert for you wherever you are

LtCol J. Krusinski
May 7, 2013

by Fluffdaddy

EBB posted:

Shim I still have a plat cert for you wherever you are

Hey I’m here, shimazu.gip@gmail.com

Thanks EBB!

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

sent, happy shitposting

SquirrelyPSU
May 27, 2003


Man, really hope 2019 is not treating your extended family like it is mine. Sheesh.

CRUSTY MINGE
Mar 30, 2011

Peggy Hill
Foot Connoisseur
It's treating some of my direct family like poo poo and they totally deserve it.

Syrian Lannister
Aug 25, 2007

Oh, did I kill him too?
I've been a very busy little man.


Sugartime Jones
So far this year:

Dad had emergency triple bypass, and is having trouble with physical therapy; constantly short of breath, dizzy, etc.

Chest x-ray discovered a good sized mass in the lower lobe of his left lung, and multiple small lesions in his right lung. Docs are waiting a little longer before they schedule his PET scan.

Mom had her pacemaker fire, and didn't tell anyone. Her cardiologist flat out told her she has 6-8 months before she has either a massive heart attack or stroke.

Ex-wife might have oral cancer.


gently caress 2019

Naked Bear
Apr 15, 2007

Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!
Something a bit more lighthearted for today:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sK27NZon11w

Naked Bear
Apr 15, 2007

Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!
The Matrix is now twenty years old. :stare:

Nostalgia4Dogges
Jun 18, 2004

Only emojis can express my pure, simple stupidity.

People born around 9/11 are now adults lol

Nostalgia4Butts
Jun 1, 2006

WHERE MY HOSE DRINKERS AT

Nostalgia4Dogges posted:

People born around 9/11 are now adults lol

time for the surge 2

The Rat
Aug 29, 2004

You will find no one to help you here. Beth DuClare has been dissected and placed in cryonic storage.

We've always been at war with Eastasia

Godholio
Aug 28, 2002

Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

Naked Bear posted:

The Matrix is now twenty years old. :stare:

So's Futurama.

Nostalgia4Dogges posted:

People born around 9/11 are now adults lol

9/11 babies will be in Afghanistan this year.

Naked Bear
Apr 15, 2007

Boners was recorded before a studio audience that was alive!

Godholio posted:

So's Futurama.
Goddamn

Proud Christian Mom
Dec 20, 2006
READING COMPREHENSION IS HARD
Imagine taking any benefit the military might give you, and then throwing your child back into the same bullshit

SquirrelyPSU
May 27, 2003


Syrian Lannister posted:

So far this year:

Dad had emergency triple bypass, and is having trouble with physical therapy; constantly short of breath, dizzy, etc.

Chest x-ray discovered a good sized mass in the lower lobe of his left lung, and multiple small lesions in his right lung. Docs are waiting a little longer before they schedule his PET scan.

Mom had her pacemaker fire, and didn't tell anyone. Her cardiologist flat out told her she has 6-8 months before she has either a massive heart attack or stroke.

Ex-wife might have oral cancer.


gently caress 2019

Yeah it's a lot like this. I already had to tell work "look guys, I may have to bounce for a couple of weeks to take care of some things but I don't know when and how" and thankfully they were just totally fine with it.

TCD
Nov 13, 2002

Every step, a fucking adventure.

SquirrelyPSU posted:

Yeah it's a lot like this. I already had to tell work "look guys, I may have to bounce for a couple of weeks to take care of some things but I don't know when and how" and thankfully they were just totally fine with it.

Same - Dad is in the hospital. No idea whats wrong. Problem speaking and motor movements, but they don't think it's a stroke. loving sucks. I dread seeing my mom's caller ID. You brace yourself for that answer and then a sigh of relief when he hasn't worsened over night.

SquirrelyPSU
May 27, 2003


TCD posted:

Same - Dad is in the hospital. No idea whats wrong. Problem speaking and motor movements, but they don't think it's a stroke. loving sucks. I dread seeing my mom's caller ID. You brace yourself for that answer and then a sigh of relief when he hasn't worsened over night.

I had the caller ID thing two weeks back. I knew things were going south and just said "Ah, gently caress..." before I picked up the phone.

Harsh But True
Oct 13, 2016

CHICKEN SHOES posted:

if you're a real pro, every thread is a drunk thread if you just try hard enough

Justpost drunkenly post

ASAPI
Apr 20, 2007
I invented the line.

TCD posted:

Same - Dad is in the hospital. No idea whats wrong. Problem speaking and motor movements, but they don't think it's a stroke. loving sucks. I dread seeing my mom's caller ID. You brace yourself for that answer and then a sigh of relief when he hasn't worsened over night.

Holy poo poo, my mother-in-law just had a stroke and my uncle just died.

Is this some sort of epidemic or something?

Slim Pickens
Jan 12, 2007

Grimey Drawer
"Now what would happen if we mined all the uranium on earth and turned it into a nuclear bomb?"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JyECrGp-Sw8&t=283s

:jackbud:

not caring here
Feb 22, 2012

blazemastah 2 dry 4 u
That's a cool video even if you dont lust for the canned sunshine end to everything

EBB
Feb 15, 2005

He takes the assumption that all US warheads are about 200 kt in yield which is a hell of an assumption.

TCD
Nov 13, 2002

Every step, a fucking adventure.

ASAPI posted:

Holy poo poo, my mother-in-law just had a stroke and my uncle just died.

Is this some sort of epidemic or something?

He mimicked some stroke symptoms, but everything seems to be improving day by day, so they don't think it's that.

For whatever reason, he lost his normal language filter. My mom has always been the sweary one, but as his memory and speech came back, I guess he's had some great comments.

Time Crisis Actor
Apr 28, 2002

by Hand Knit
Well this is concerning: One of the dudes I work with might be a Qanon weirdo.

We were talking about Hillary Clinton. This guy mentioned completely offhand that Hillary "should be executed", and that Bill Clinton is a pedophile. While it's too early to tell conclusively, I will continue investigating.

Nostalgia4Dogges
Jun 18, 2004

Only emojis can express my pure, simple stupidity.

Next up:
-Climate change denial (or rather that the world naturally goes through warming/cooling phases and it’s not man made, just a ploy by the dems)
- anti-vax
- doesn’t align with a party cause they think for themselves, but are as republican or libertarian as they come
- something about snowflakes & safe spaces
- posts edgy quotes or memes with a fictional tough guy/actor
- blame the poors
- anti minimum wage increases
- asks for citations for your counter-arguments while posting articles from naturalearth.org or tells you to “do your own research”
- Venezuela
- first generation, likely from illegal immigration, yet hates—brown—immigrants
- drowns self in alcohol/cocaine, all other drugs are bad
- uses the word “feminazi”


If they check one of the boxes, chances are they check the rest. Flat earth can be hit or miss

Nostalgia4Dogges fucked around with this message at 08:27 on Apr 4, 2019

CRUSTY MINGE
Mar 30, 2011

Peggy Hill
Foot Connoisseur
You forgot water supply fluoridation.

Nostalgia4Dogges
Jun 18, 2004

Only emojis can express my pure, simple stupidity.

ohhh yeah that’s a gimme for sure. Plus chemtrails ofc

Hot Karl Marx
Mar 16, 2009

Politburo regulations about social distancing require to downgrade your Karlmarxing to cold, and sorry about the dnc primaries, please enjoy!

Deathy McDeath posted:

Well this is concerning: One of the dudes I work with might be a Qanon weirdo.

We were talking about Hillary Clinton. This guy mentioned completely offhand that Hillary "should be executed", and that Bill Clinton is a pedophile. While it's too early to tell conclusively, I will continue investigating.

bill clinton probably is a pedophile, same with trump. they were all buds with jeffery "lolita express" epstein. hillary being executed? ehhhh

Eugene V. Dubstep
Oct 4, 2013
Probation
Can't post for 8 years!

Deathy McDeath posted:

We were talking about Hillary Clinton. This guy mentioned completely offhand that Hillary "should be executed", and that Bill Clinton is a pedophile. While it's too early to tell conclusively, I will continue investigating.

Both of these things are true but not for the reasons that guy probably thinks.

Force de Fappe
Nov 7, 2008

Hot Karl Marx posted:

bill clinton probably is a pedophile, same with trump. they were all buds with jeffery "lolita express" epstein. hillary being executed? ehhhh

She's an uppity woman and needs to be put in her place (her actual reasons for being a piece of poo poo are irrelevant in this context).

Syrian Lannister
Aug 25, 2007

Oh, did I kill him too?
I've been a very busy little man.


Sugartime Jones

Deathy McDeath posted:

Well this is concerning: One of the dudes I work with might be a Qanon weirdo.

We were talking about Hillary Clinton. This guy mentioned completely offhand that Hillary "should be executed", and that Bill Clinton is a pedophile. While it's too early to tell conclusively, I will continue investigating.

Do you work with me?

You just described a Drudge Report/ Above Top Secret/ Huffpost / Breitbart/ quoting chud

Slim Pickens
Jan 12, 2007

Grimey Drawer
Do you guys have a Vegas shooting truther at your office? Because that motherfucker thinks stealth helicopters were responsible instead of some random loony at the top of the MGM. He almost started on Sandy Hook but I think the look I was giving him stated pretty clearly that he should make an exit pretty soon.

Flying_Crab
Apr 12, 2002



Deathy McDeath posted:

Well this is concerning: One of the dudes I work with might be a Qanon weirdo.

We were talking about Hillary Clinton. This guy mentioned completely offhand that Hillary "should be executed", and that Bill Clinton is a pedophile. While it's too early to tell conclusively, I will continue investigating.

Report him to your command/security manager?

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Bored As Fuck
Jan 1, 2006
Fun Shoe
Yeah.

I work with a crazy rear end in a top hat who believes in Qanon bullshit and pretty much exclusively gets her news from conspiracy theory Youtube channels. If I could report her, I would.

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