Chapter 7: Nightmarequote:I told Charlie I had a lot of homework to do, and that I didn’t want anything to eat. There was a basketball game on that he was excited about, though of course I had no idea what was special about it, so he wasn’t aware of anything unusual in my face or tone. Bella Swan probably unironically says "sportsball." quote:Once in my room, I locked the door. I dug through my desk until I found my old headphones, and I plugged them into my little CD player. I picked up a CD that Phil had given to me for Christmas. It was one of his favorite bands, but they used a little too much bass and shrieking for my tastes. I popped it into place and lay down on my bed. I put on the headphones, hit Play, and turned up the volume until it hurt my ears. I closed my eyes, but the light still intruded, so I added a pillow over the top half of my face. I want to declare it canon that Phil gave Bella some ridiculous prog rock band like King Crimson. quote:I opened my eyes to a familiar place. Aware in some corner of my consciousness that I was dreaming, I recognized the green light of the forest. I could hear the waves crashing against the rocks somewhere nearby. And I knew that if I found the ocean, I’d be able to see the sun. I was trying to follow the sound, but then Jacob Black was there, tugging on my hand, pulling me back toward the blackest part of the forest. This is a classic example of an extremely lazy writing technique: prophetic dreams. They're especially common in works where there's no canon reason for the person to have dreams that are such exact foreshadowing and (like in this one) contain information that the dreamer shouldn't logically know. Instead of finding a way to work Bella's conflict between Jacob and Edward and her confirmation that Edward is a vampire into her characterization and actions, or figure out a way to let her inner monologue ruminate on it better, she just has a dream that conveniently reveals how the rest of the story is going to go. quote:The wolf launched himself across the space between me and the vampire, fangs aiming for the jugular. Then why the hell did you fall asleep fully dressed with the lights on? quote:I rolled back over and unbuttoned my jeans, yanking them off awkwardly as I tried to stay horizontal. I could feel the braid in my hair, an uncomfortable ridge along the back of my skull. I turned onto my side and ripped the rubber band out, quickly combing through the plaits with my fingers. I pulled the pillow back over my eyes. Why did Bella make her bed? Who knows! quote:I hated using the Internet here. My modem was sadly outdated, my free service substandard; just dialing up took so long that I decided to go get myself a bowl of cereal while I waited. I'm going to stick with my headcanon and play "21st Century Schizoid Man" while making this post. I imagine it'll make the text much better. quote:With another sigh, I turned to my computer. Naturally, the screen was covered in pop-up ads. I sat in my hard folding chair and began closing all the little windows. Eventually I made it to my favorite search engine. I shot down a few more pop-ups and then typed in one word. Yes, Bella's brilliant plan is to Google vampires. She also must have gotten a pretty terrible virus if her screen is covered in pop-ups as soon as she connects to the Internet. quote:It took an infuriatingly long time, of course. When the results came up, there was a lot to sift through—everything from movies and TV shows to role-playing games, underground metal, and gothic cosmetic companies. Wikipedia started in 2001 and was available in 161 languages by 2004. Bella is just dumb. quote:Then I found a promising site—Vampires A–Z. I waited impatiently for it to load, quickly clicking closed each ad that flashed across the screen. Finally the screen was finished—simple white background with black text, academic-looking. Two quotes greeted me on the home page: Most people at least vaguely know Rousseau as a philosopher. Reverend Montague Summers was an early 20th century scholar on vampires, werewolves, witches, and other supernatural creatures who provided the first English translation of Malleus Maleficarum, a 15th century witch hunter's manual. Summers was an avowed believer in all manners of the supernatural and wrote his books very seriously. quote:The rest of the site was an alphabetized listing of all the different myths of vampires held throughout the world. The first I clicked on, the Danag, was a Filipino vampire supposedly responsible for planting taro on the islands long ago. The myth continued that the Danag worked with humans for many years, but the partnership ended one day when a woman cut her finger and a Danag sucked her wound, enjoying the taste so much that it drained her body completely of blood. As far as I know, the Stregoni benefici is an invention of Meyer's. I don't know why this is even necessary, as it does nothing to amplify the idea of the Cullens not killing people. If anything, it just removes tension by foreshadowing that the Cullens aren't dangerous at all. quote:Overall, though, there was little that coincided with Jacob’s stories or my own observations. I’d made a little catalogue in my mind as I’d read and carefully compared it with each myth. Speed, strength, beauty, pale skin, eyes that shift color; and then Jacob’s criteria: blood drinkers, enemies of the werewolf, cold-skinned, and immortal. There were very few myths that matched even one factor. Imagine being a first time reader, not knowing how they were going to explain Edward being out in the daytime. quote:Aggravated, I snapped off the computer’s main power switch, not waiting to shut things down properly. Through my irritation, I felt overwhelming embarrassment. It was all so stupid. I was sitting in my room, researching vampires. What was wrong with me? I decided that most of the blame belonged on the doorstep of the town of Forks—and the entire sodden Olympic Peninsula, for that matter. What the gently caress kind of sense does that make? quote:I had to get out of the house, but there was nowhere I wanted to go that didn’t involve a three-day drive. I pulled on my boots anyway, unclear where I was headed, and went downstairs. I shrugged into my raincoat without checking the weather and stomped out the door. And then she tripped on like five rocks. quote:There was a thin ribbon of a trail that led through the forest here, or I wouldn’t risk wandering on my own like this. My sense of direction was hopeless; I could get lost in much less helpful surroundings. I think you meant much more hopeful surroundings, Meyer. quote:The trail wound deeper and deeper into the forest, mostly east as far as I could tell. It snaked around the Sitka spruces and the hemlocks, the yews and the maples. I only vaguely knew the names of the trees around me, and all I knew was due to Charlie pointing them out to me from the cruiser window in earlier days. There were many I didn’t know, and others I couldn’t be sure about because they were so covered in green parasites. With Bella's awful sense of direction and clumsiness, I wouldn't be surprised if stepping even three feet off the path gets her hopelessly lost. quote:Here in the trees it was much easier to believe the absurdities that embarrassed me indoors. Nothing had changed in this forest for thousands of years, and all the myths and legends of a hundred different lands seemed much more likely in this green haze than they had in my clear-cut bedroom. This length of time this book is taking on figuring out if the Cullens are vampires would be a lot more acceptable if it was a legitimate mystery. If the back of the book tells you that they are, we're instead spending dozens or hundreds of pages waiting for the protagonist to figure out what we already knew before we even bought the book. It's been 4 chapters since Edward did something overtly supernatural for the first time and got confronted about it and we still don't have a resolution! quote:Well, they were something. Something outside the possibility of rational justification was taking place in front of my incredulous eyes. Whether it be Jacob’s cold ones or my own superhero theory, Edward Cullen was not… human. He was something more. You barely even know the guy! He's been having mood swings out the yin-yang and physically abused you once already, and you've hardly spoken over three months! Finding out that he's probably also a vampire should be the best excuse for avoiding him! quote:I could do nothing different. After all, if he was something… sinister, he’d done nothing to hurt me so far. Are we all just going to forget that he physically dragged you into his car and threatened to kidnap you if you refused? quote:In fact, I would be a dent in Tyler’s fender if he hadn’t acted so quickly. So quickly, I argued with myself, that it might have been sheer reflexes. But if it was a reflex to save lives, how bad could he be? I retorted. My head spun around in answerless circles. This is where we seriously start getting into Meyer's romanticization of abuse. Edward and Bella's actions are consistently handwaved away as just signs of how much they love and care about each other, no matter how dangerous that behavior is in real life. To Bella, it doesn't matter that Edward has been displaying more red flags than a Chinese military parade. He reflexively saved her from danger, and that's all that matters to show his "true nature." quote:There was one thing I was sure of, if I was sure of anything. The dark Edward in my dream last night was a reflection only of my fear of the word Jacob had spoken, and not Edward himself. Even so, when I’d screamed out in terror at the werewolf’s lunge, it wasn’t fear for the wolf that brought the cry of “no” to my lips. It was fear that he would be harmed—even as he called to me with sharp-edged fangs, I feared for him. Had this been a different book, this would be portrayed as the thoughts of a poor young girl falling under the spell of a man who would hurt her worse than she would ever imagine. With only a small amount of interaction (much of it negative or outright threatening), she's already become completely obsessed with Edward. But as we all know, the books paint their relationship as pure love between soulmates. Her obsession is instead shown as a good thing that leads her to a life of power and prosperity as long as she can handle all the poo poo the relationship throws at her. quote:Not here, alone in the darkening forest. Not while the rain made it dim as twilight under the canopy and pattered like footsteps across the matted earthen floor. I shivered and rose quickly from my place of concealment, worried that somehow the path would have disappeared with the rain. Again, the constant decrying of Bella's behavior as dangerous or stupid would be more palatable if it was ever shown as anything but the best decision she ever made. Bella's obsession with Edward is followed up on in New Moon by revealing that Bella essentially gets off on danger. Her desires for him are amplified by both his status as unattainable and a dangerous threat to her life. At the same time, she has very low self-esteem despite her selfishness (count how many times she berates herself for her clumsiness or supposed unattractiveness even as half the male population of the town chases after her) that immediately gives the beautiful, dangerous Edward Cullen a position of power over her. Had she not been in Forks, the kind of guys she would have gotten wrapped up with would have been the kind to seriously hurt her. quote:And so the day was quiet, productive—I finished my paper before eight. Charlie came home with a large catch, and I made a mental note to pick up a book of recipes for fish while I was in Seattle next week. The chills that flashed up my spine whenever I thought of that trip were no different than the ones I’d felt before I’d taken my walk with Jacob Black. They should be different, I thought. I should be afraid—I knew I should be, but I couldn’t feel the right kind of fear. It took a smile to get you to realize that? Charlies has been nothing but the sweetest, most doting father anyone could ask for no matter what his selfish, childish ex-wife and daughter did to hurt him. You've somehow managed to estrange yourself from a dad that anyone here would be lucky to have. quote:I ate breakfast cheerily, watching the dust motes stirring in the sunlight that streamed in the back window. Charlie called out a goodbye, and I heard the cruiser pull away from the house. I hesitated on my way out the door, hand on my rain jacket. It would be tempting fate to leave it home. With a sigh, I folded it over my arm and stepped out into the brightest light I’d seen in months. So much of Bella's behavior reinforces her creepiness and possible mental illness. quote:“Bella!” I heard someone call, and it sounded like Mike. I looked around to realize that the school had become populated while I’d been sitting there, absentminded. Everyone was in t-shirts, some even in shorts though the temperature couldn’t be over sixty. Mike was coming toward me in khaki shorts and a striped Rugby shirt, waving. Mike that is the worst goddamn outfit ever. quote:“Hey, Mike,” I called, waving back, unable to be halfhearted on a morning like this. But you're not uncomfortable with kidnapping. quote:“Great day, isn’t it?” So instead you'll just be smug to the readers like always, right? quote:He hit his forehead with the heel of his hand. “Oh yeah—that’s due Thursday, right?” He's wondering how a Stephenie Meyer protagonist could ever understand misogyny. quote:“I guess I’ll have to get to work on that tonight,” he said, deflated. “I was going to ask if you wanted to go out.” I would take her seriously, Mike. This girl is really violent. quote:He was bewildered, obviously not thinking in that direction at all. If you think Bella's separation anxiety is bad now, wait until the second book. quote:I shambled along behind Jessica, not bothering to pretend to listen anymore. Again, we're retreading common ground. This is a virtual repeat of the earlier scene where she sees that Edward isn't around and spends the day wailing and gnashing her teeth before being clumsy in gym. quote:I was glad to leave campus, so I would be free to pout and mope before I went out tonight with Jessica and company. But right after I walked in the door of Charlie’s house, Jessica called to cancel our plans. I tried to be happy that Mike had asked her out to dinner—I really was relieved that he finally seemed to be catching on—but my enthusiasm sounded false in my own ears. She rescheduled our shopping trip for tomorrow night. Again, this is exactly how it's formatted in the book. I thought Bella's internal monologue was part of the email at first. How did an editor not catch this? Is it different on paper? quote:I decided to kill an hour with non-school-related reading. I had a small collection of books that came with me to Forks, the shabbiest volume being a compilation of the works of Jane Austen. I selected that one and headed to the backyard, grabbing a ragged old quilt from the linen cupboard at the top of the stairs on my way down. If you're wondering why Bella has the feeling she isn't alone, I checked Midnight Sun. Yeah, it's exactly who you think. quote:I watched TV with Charlie after dinner, for something to do. There wasn’t anything on I wanted to watch, but he knew I didn’t like baseball, so he turned it to some mindless sitcom that neither of us enjoyed. He seemed happy, though, to be doing something together. And it felt good, despite my depression, to make him happy. Oh gently caress off. quote:“Well, okay.” He seemed to realize that he was out of his depth with the girlie stuff. “It’s a school night, though.” Port Angeles is only an hour's drive from Forks. It's a town of about 19,000 people on the north coast, across the water from British Columbia. quote:"We’ll leave right after school, so we can get back early. You’ll be okay for dinner, right?” I feel like Bella being mean to her dad is the most aggravating of all the bad behavior she displays. He deserves it the least. quote:It was sunny again in the morning. I awakened with renewed hope that I grimly tried to suppress. I dressed for the warmer weather in a deep blue V-neck blouse—something I’d worn in the dead of winter in Phoenix. Why? He's already displayed far worse behavior than canceling at the last minute. quote:After school, Jessica followed me home in her old white Mercury so that I could ditch my books and truck. I brushed through my hair quickly when I was inside, feeling a slight lift of excitement as I contemplated getting out of Forks. I left a note for Charlie on the table, explaining again where to find dinner, switched my scruffy wallet from my school bag to a purse I rarely used, and ran out to join Jessica. We went to Angela’s house next, and she was waiting for us. My excitement increased exponentially as we actually drove out of the town limits.
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# ? Jul 5, 2019 17:24 |
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# ? May 28, 2024 16:32 |
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Meyer has a tendency to repeat scenes over and over again, particularly scenes that woobify her protagonist and make them suffer over and over. Usually it’s to demonstrate what a tragic little hero they are. My aforementioned friend gave me The Host to read because she wanted me to appreciate Meyer (I don’t know why) and the writing there hit a lot of the same beats. lovely female protagonist, abusive male love interest, potentially interesting scifi fantasy backdrop that goes no where. The Host is an Animorphs rip off where Yeerks take over Earth and possess human bodies etc. It was okay for the first 20 chapters or so where the protag, one of the aliens, is captured by the humans and they torture her and mistreat her etc. The suffering just repeats itself over and over though, I ended up skipping 15 or so chapters and realized I had missed nothing because they were all dedicated to torturing the protagonist. It also ends on a similar pedophile beat; the protag is eventually given a soulless human corpse to possess and iirc its described like a fragile bisque doll with blonde hair, and it was supposed to be the body of a very little girl I think. The protag takes up a sexual and romantic relationship with the abusive male lead after that. But it’s also been a solid decade since I read it so who knows. I do remember being very freaked out by how little and young looking the soulless corpse was and how the host was supposed to grow up or something with it. I read it as the host taking over the body of an elementary schooler and then moving in with the older man. What I’m saying is, Meyer is a goddamn creep. It was weird.
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# ? Jul 5, 2019 21:51 |
The fact that Meyer is so clueless about Bella's craziness makes me wonder if she may share similar traits, especially with Bella being a near self-insert. A lot of focus is given by critics to Edward's abuse being painted as just signs of love that Bella needs to understand, but less talking is done about her coming off as badly mentally ill. Bella's serious signs of Borderline Personality Disorder or even sociopathy are portrayed as quirks, generic flaws (because "every protagonist needs flaws!"), or signs of how special she is.
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# ? Jul 5, 2019 22:09 |
I already had a Seattle trip planned next year. I may or may not make a visit to Forks and La Push.
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# ? Jul 6, 2019 01:58 |
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godspeed my friend
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# ? Jul 6, 2019 03:55 |
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I admit it was a little bit funny to see Bella be as lovely to her poor computer as she is to people.
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# ? Jul 7, 2019 00:00 |
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Bella mentioning her CD player reminded me that Meyer had her own playlist of songs that she used while writing her "very visual, movie-like" book. https://stepheniemeyer.com/the-books/twilight/twilight-playlist/
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# ? Jul 7, 2019 00:54 |
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opening its mouth and vomiting smaller s
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# ? Jul 7, 2019 03:54 |
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At least there was no Cruuuuuuuuxshadows.
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# ? Jul 7, 2019 03:57 |
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Somebody Awful posted:At least there was no Cruuuuuuuuxshadows. I imagine there was a lot more she was too ashamed to publicly admit to.
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# ? Jul 7, 2019 05:22 |
Chapter 8: Port Angelesquote:Jess drove faster than the Chief, so we made it to Port Angeles by four. It had been a while since I’d had a girls’ night out, and the estrogen rush was invigorating. We listened to whiny rock songs while Jessica jabbered on about the boys we hung out with. Jessica’s dinner with Mike had gone very well, and she was hoping that by Saturday night they would have progressed to the first-kiss stage. I smiled to myself, pleased. Angela was passively happy to be going to the dance, but not really interested in Eric. Jess tried to get her to confess who her type was, but I interrupted with a question about dresses after a bit, to spare her. Angela threw a grateful glance my way. Meyer consistently demonstrates an extremely stereotypical view of gender that manifests in Bella's inner monologue. Despite her "not like the other girls" Mary Sue traits, she still talks about enjoying stereotypical girlish behavior and expects her father to be completely incapable of understanding her because of his masculinity (as opposed to just not understanding her completely undeserved dislike of him). quote:Port Angeles was a beautiful little tourist trap, much more polished and quaint than Forks. But Jessica and Angela knew it well, so they didn’t plan to waste time on the picturesque boardwalk by the bay. Jess drove straight to the one big department store in town, which was a few streets in from the bay area’s visitor-friendly face. "Seriously, none of our obsession with you makes sense." quote:We were in the juniors’ section now, scanning the racks for dress-up clothes. You're all 16 or 17. Why are you still so small that you need to shop in the children's section? quote:“Well, except for Tyler,” Angela amended quietly. In case you were wondering, no. This faux drama with Tyler being a weirdo never has any bearing on the plot and will only serve as a distraction from the vampire stuff. quote:“I told you it wasn’t true,” Angela murmured to Jessica. I thought it was because she needed to fill the quota of mundane mortal girls who don't immediately fawn over her? quote:I ground my teeth. “Do you think that if I ran him over with my truck he would stop feeling guilty about the accident? That he might give up on making amends and call it even?” "I'm not normally violent, but..." quote:“Maybe,” Jess snickered. “If that’s why he’s doing this.” Isn't this the most exciting book you've ever read? quote:We headed over to shoes and accessories. While they tried things on I merely watched and critiqued, not in the mood to shop for myself, though I did need new shoes. The girls’-night high was wearing off in the wake of my annoyance at Tyler, leaving room for the gloom to move back in. Just riveting. quote:I tried again. “Um, Angela…” She looked up curiously. I can think of a lot of follow-up questions for her to ask, like "Why is the school okay with their constantly poor attendance instead of reporting them as truant?" or "How do they keep up with schoolwork when they're on backpacking trips and disappearing for a week at a time?" quote:We planned to go to dinner at a little Italian restaurant on the boardwalk, but the dress shopping hadn’t taken as long as we’d expected. Jess and Angela were going to take their clothes back to the car and then walk down to the bay. I told them I would meet them at the restaurant in an hour—I wanted to look for a bookstore. They were both willing to come with me, but I encouraged them to go have fun—they didn’t know how preoccupied I could get when surrounded by books; it was something I preferred to do alone. They walked off to the car chattering happily, and I headed in the direction Jess pointed out. Bella's gotten over her worries about Edward being supernatural really quickly! After freaking out so badly that she was having nightmares, it only took one chapter for her to take it for granted and just keep on with her obsession. quote:I stomped along in a southerly direction, toward some glass-fronted shops that looked promising. But when I got to them, they were just a repair shop and a vacant space. I still had too much time to go looking for Jess and Angela yet, and I definitely needed to get my mood in hand before I met back up with them. I ran my fingers through my hair a couple of times and took some deep breaths before I continued around the corner. "Ugh, dad, I can read a map! Why do you think my sense of direction is so bad that I can't drive 4 hours one way to Seattle and get around by myself? Phoenix is so much bigger!" quote:A group of four men turned around the corner I was heading for, dressed too casually to be heading home from the office, but they were too grimy to be tourists. As they approached me, I realized they weren’t too many years older than I was. They were joking loudly among themselves, laughing raucously and punching each other’s arms. I scooted as far to the inside of the sidewalk as I could to give them room, walking swiftly, looking past them to the corner. The commercial district for Port Angeles is a single T-shaped area with the bulk in a dense section on the waterfront. It's surrounded on all sides by residential and harbor areas. There is absolutely no way for a reasonable person to somehow start going south "looking for downtown" and then accidentally wander deep into an industrial area trying to get back. quote:The sky suddenly darkened further, and, as I looked over my shoulder to glare at the offending cloud, I realized with a shock that two men were walking quietly twenty feet behind me. Bella you've been here for months! You still haven't unpacked? quote:I listened intently to their quiet footsteps, which were much too quiet when compared to the boisterous noise they’d been making earlier, and it didn’t sound like they were speeding up, or getting any closer to me. Breathe, I had to remind myself. You don’t know they’re following you. I continued to walk as quickly as I could without actually running, focusing on the right-hand turn that was only a few yards away from me now. I could hear them, staying as far back as they’d been before. A blue car turned onto the street from the south and drove quickly past me. I thought of jumping out in front of it, but I hesitated, inhibited, unsure that I was really being pursued, and then it was too late. Bella that is the worst idea for avoiding these guys. quote:I reached the corner, but a swift glance revealed that it was only a blind drive to the back of another building. I was half-turned in anticipation; I had to hurriedly correct and dash across the narrow drive, back to the sidewalk. The street ended at the next corner, where there was a stop sign. I concentrated on the faint footsteps behind me, deciding whether or not to run. They sounded farther back, though, and I knew they could outrun me in any case. I was sure to trip and go sprawling if I tried to go any faster. The footfalls were definitely farther back. I risked a quick glance over my shoulder, and they were maybe forty feet back now, I saw with relief. But they were both staring at me. I don't think this is a tactic that happens much in real life? Then again, maybe they realized how dumb Bella was when it came to directions. quote:I paused for only a second, but it felt like a very long time. I turned then and darted to the other side of the road. I had a sinking feeling that it was a wasted attempt. The footsteps behind me were louder now. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwyBW9-we5A quote:The thickset man shrugged away from the wall as I warily came to a stop, and walked slowly into the street. Meyer essentially admits that she has a way out of this scene that doesn't require her to be saved and can give her some level of agency for the first time in the whole goddamn story, but still writes around it. It also comes off uncharacteristically meek, as Bella has spent much of the book seriously fantasizing about hurting people and damaging property. Maybe she's one of those who can only do it if the victim isn't resisting? quote:Headlights suddenly flew around the corner, the car almost hitting the stocky one, forcing him to jump back toward the sidewalk. I dove into the road—this car was going to stop, or have to hit me. Why does she keep thinking you can escape danger by leaping in front of cars?! quote:But the silver car unexpectedly fishtailed around, skidding to a stop with the passenger door open just a few feet from me. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b07ivInGpyI Here's the scene in the film. For all the problems with it, it does fix a lot of issues with Meyer's writing. One of them is letting Bella actually start fighting these guys off instead of cowering. quote:But I felt utterly safe and, for the moment, totally unconcerned about where we were going. I stared at his face in profound relief, relief that went beyond my sudden deliverance. I studied his flawless features in the limited light, waiting for my breath to return to normal, until it occurred to me that his expression was murderously angry. While he's supposed to be angry because Bella's presence prevented him from killing all of them, I want to assume that he just can't figure out how she managed to wander this way looking for the waterfront. quote:I sat in silence, watching his face while his blazing eyes stared straight ahead, until the car came to a sudden stop. I glanced around, but it was too dark to see anything beside the vague outline of dark trees crowding the roadside. We weren’t in town anymore. Bella would be the easiest victim a serial killer ever had. quote:“Bella?” he asked, his voice tight, controlled. The book hasn't done enough of that already? quote:“Um.” I wracked my brain for something trivial. “I’m going to run over Tyler Crowley tomorrow before school?” Maybe Bella is so into Edward because he'll hurt people for her instead. quote:Edward sighed, and finally opened his eyes. Is there a single interaction Edward and Bella have had that wasn't completely full of red flags? quote:“At least,” he continued, “that’s what I’m trying to convince myself.” For most people, that would be silently dialing 911 on their phone. quote:We sat in silence again. I glanced at the clock on the dashboard. It was past six-thirty. Bella Italia is a real restaurant in Port Angeles, but the scenes in the town were filmed in St. Helens, OR. quote:“How did you know where…?” I began, but then I just shook my head. I heard the door open and turned to see him getting out. Am I the only one finding this entire thing utterly disgusting and disturbing? I'm seriously starting to wonder what's wrong with Stephenie Meyer if this is the kind of relationship she wants to portray for her readers to fantasize about. quote:“Jess! Angela!” I yelled after them, waving when they turned. They rushed back to me, the pronounced relief on both their faces simultaneously changing to surprise as they saw who I was standing next to. They hesitated a few feet from us. I know it's absolutely not how Meyer meant it, but this dialogue reminds me way too much of abusive relationships where the guy is subtly nudging the girl to say the right things to separate herself from anyone who could protect her. quote:“Uh, no problem, I guess…” She bit her lip, trying to figure out from my expression whether that was what I wanted. I winked at her. I wanted nothing more than to be alone with my perpetual savior. There were so many questions that I couldn’t bombard him with till we were by ourselves. Is the "or I'll stab you" just implied? quote:He walked to the door of the restaurant and held it open with an obstinate expression. Obviously, there would be no further discussion. I walked past him into the restaurant with a resigned sigh. What is it with her thing against blondes? quote:“A table for two?” His voice was alluring, whether he was aiming for that or not. I saw her eyes flicker to me and then away, satisfied by my obvious ordinariness, and by the cautious, no-contact space Edward kept between us. She led us to a table big enough for four in the center of the most crowded area of the dining floor. I feel like you shouldn't need to slip a waitress a twenty to get her to put you at a booth on a dead night. quote:“Sure.” She sounded as surprised as I was. She turned and led us around a partition to a small ring of booths—all of them empty. “How’s this?” Midnight Sun reveals, oddly, that Edward is actually attempting to scare people by doing things like smiling with full teeth. He's somehow consistently confused as to why they find him hot instead of terrifying. quote:He ignored my questions. “Do I dazzle you?” And this is where he reveals that he poisoned her in the car and is taking her back to his attic, right? quote:“I don’t think that will happen,” I said after I could breathe again. “I’ve always been very good at repressing unpleasant things.” Man, you've barely spoken and you're already at the stage of your relationship where he orders you around! quote:I sipped at my soda obediently, and then drank more deeply, surprised by how thirsty I was. I realized I had finished the whole thing when he pushed his glass toward me. This isn't an exaggeration or deception. Edward really believes Bella should be passing out from shock right now and that her thirst is a symptom. If he was that concerned, shouldn't he be getting her medical help instead of letting her faint into her mushroom ravioli? quote:“You should be—a normal person would be. You don’t even look shaken.” He seemed unsettled. He stared into my eyes, and I saw how light his eyes were, lighter than I’d ever seen them, golden butterscotch. I just keep picturing a serial killer trying to get Bella sufficiently afraid for him to feel right when killing her, and she just keeps smiling and talking about how great he is and he gets so frustrated. quote:I picked up a breadstick and began nibbling on the end, measuring his expression. I wondered when it would be okay to start questioning him. quote:“Sure.” She removed the empty glasses and walked away. Another common flaw with amateur writers is making a script instead of a book. In order to flesh out the world, the author puts in massive amounts of detail about what everyone is doing at any given time, exactly what everything looks like and what they're all wearing, and hand-holding the reader with the emotions and inflection everyone is supposed to be speaking with. quote:“Well, go ahead,” he pushed, his voice still hard. Yet another good way to start a relationship: don't even try to come up with a plausible excuse for your stalking and just refuse to answer any questions. quote:I looked down, frustrated. I unrolled my silverware, picked up my fork, and carefully speared a ravioli. I put it in my mouth slowly, still looking down, chewing while I thought. The mushrooms were good. I swallowed and took another sip of Coke before I looked up. Again, this is an entire paragraph that's pointless. Every single chapter and my commentary comes close to the 50,000 character post limit because of how much extraneous detail she puts in. quote:“Okay, then.” I glared at him, and continued slowly. “Let’s say, hypothetically of course, that… someone… could know what people are thinking, read minds, you know—with a few exceptions.” Even Edward can't believe this poo poo. quote:“We were speaking of a hypothetical case,” I reminded him frostily. And if it doesn't find her, she'll seek it out on purpose to fulfill a perverse pleasure! quote:“And you put yourself into that category?” I guessed. Bella will not only go for three before the book ends, but by the end of the series the amount of times she has to be saved is uncountable. quote:“I followed you to Port Angeles,” he admitted, speaking in a rush. “I’ve never tried to keep a specific person alive before, and it’s much more troublesome than I would have believed. But that’s probably just because it’s you. Ordinary people seem to make it through the day without so many catastrophes.” He paused. I wondered if it should bother me that he was following me; instead I felt a strange surge of pleasure. He stared, maybe wondering why my lips were curving into an involuntary smile. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DizNtj09VcM quote:“That wasn’t the first time,” he said, and his voice was hard to hear. I stared at him in amazement, but he was looking down. “Your number was up the first time I met you.” "Seriously, your danger fetish is starting to worry me." quote:“Yes, here I sit… because of you.” I paused. “Because somehow you knew how to find me today…?” I prompted. Even his dramatic gestures have super speed! quote:“It was very… hard—you can’t imagine how hard—for me to simply take you away, and leave them… alive.” His voice was muffled by his arm. “I could have let you go with Jessica and Angela, but I was afraid if you left me alone, I would go looking for them,” he admitted in a whisper. chitoryu12 fucked around with this message at 04:30 on Sep 24, 2020 |
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# ? Jul 8, 2019 16:14 |
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quote:And the way he sometimes spoke, with unfamiliar cadences and phrases that better fit the style of a turn-of-the-century novel than that of a twenty-first-century classroom. Does he... ever actually do this on the page? Because I don't remember noticing it.
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# ? Jul 8, 2019 16:37 |
The_White_Crane posted:Does he... ever actually do this on the page? His dialogue feels more like when a teenager who reads a lot decides to be extremely proper with their grammar and start using words they just learned.
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# ? Jul 8, 2019 16:55 |
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The_White_Crane posted:Does he... ever actually do this on the page? I like to think he talks like everybody else, but every once in a while, admits to being steamed up, asks Bella if she's on the make, and just calls things he likes dilly. Epicurius fucked around with this message at 17:31 on Jul 8, 2019 |
# ? Jul 8, 2019 17:28 |
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this is so much more terrifying to read as someone who has now experienced healthy adult relationships than it was when I was 11. someone please rescue this girl
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# ? Jul 8, 2019 17:36 |
PsychedelicWarlord posted:this is so much more terrifying to read as someone who has now experienced healthy adult relationships than it was when I was 11. someone please rescue this girl I know we set out to try and treat this series fairly and look for redeeming qualities, but man did it exceed my expectations. Not only is it as bad as is claimed, it's even worse!
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# ? Jul 8, 2019 19:12 |
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PsychedelicWarlord posted:"“Why did you even bother?” I asked frigidly. good thread summary
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# ? Jul 9, 2019 05:11 |
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PsychedelicWarlord posted:someone please institutionalize this girl
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# ? Jul 9, 2019 06:54 |
Chapter 9: Theoryquote:“Can I just ask one more?" I pleaded as Edward accelerated much too quickly down the quiet street. He didn’t seem to be paying any attention to the road. He feels the same as us about Bella destroying a dramatic scene transition so quickly. quote:“One,” he agreed. His lips pressed together into a cautious line. Come on, Bella. Do you believe in it or not? Your entire attraction to this guy seems to be based on the danger of him being a vampire. Don't let it falter now! quote:“That’s more than one,” he pointed out. I simply intertwined my fingers and gazed at him, waiting. Yes. quote:The words bothered me more than they should—probably because his speculation hit home. I’d always suspected as much, and it embarrassed me to have it confirmed. Edward's expressions change even more than his mood. It's hard to tell if it's Meyer representing that he's engaging in a facsimile of human behavior or if she just feels a need to match expressions and inflection to every line. quote:I sighed. How to begin? Holy crow? quote:“What’s wrong?” He was startled. But the car didn’t decelerate. I know, vampire reflexes, but behavior like speeding and refusing to slow down even when your passengers are panicking is also common behavior of terrible people in real life and would serve as yet another red flag in this early relationship. quote:“Are you trying to kill us?” I demanded. Did he just...not consider that? quote:“Almost.” This is a loving relationship between two soulmates who were destined to be together. Can't you feel the love in every conversation they have? quote:I bit my lip. He looked down at me, his honey eyes unexpectedly gentle. Yeah but you just snapped at her for being afraid of dying in a car crash that you'd cause, so should we really believe you when you look kind and gentle? quote:“I won’t laugh,” he promised. You loving idiot quote:“He just thought it was a silly superstition,” I said quickly. “He didn’t expect me to think anything of it.” It didn’t seem like enough; I had to confess. “It was my fault, I forced him to tell me.” Bella's first interaction with Jacob was pretending to flirt to manipulate him into telling her about the Cullens' identity as vampires, and the second time he pops up is her scrambling to keep her impulsive lie-by-omission from getting him and his whole family killed! quote:He startled me by laughing. I glared up at him. He was laughing, but his eyes were fierce, staring ahead. Edward is one of those teachers who tells you that Wikipedia isn't a source. quote:“No. Nothing fit. Most of it was kind of silly. And then…” I stopped. Even he can't believe this poo poo! quote:“No,” I said softly. “It doesn’t matter to me what you are.” "Matter" is starting to not look like a word any more. quote:I took a deep breath. Some of you who are familiar with the movie and its memes may be wondering where this scene came from. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujFUQwcAQ7w This is probably the most infamous scene in all the movies, the one that someone with only the barest hint of what Twilight is about knows and quotes. Melissa Rosenberg's script made the reveal of Edward as a vampire more dramatic, only to be instantaneously dragged down by some utterly horrific acting and strange camera decisions. quote:“You haven’t asked me the most important question yet.” His voice was hard now, and when he looked at me again his eyes were cold. They've had a bad track record with white people coming on their land. quote:He looked forward, but I couldn’t tell if he was watching the road or not. You could probably use this book as inspiration for writing one where the protagonist canonically has a danger fetish and it's not portrayed as a positive thing. quote:“Tell me more,” I asked desperately, not caring what he said, just so I could hear his voice again. ...d-do you really need to ask? quote:“I don’t want to be a monster.” His voice was very low. Meyer coming out swinging against the vegans. quote:“Is it very difficult for you now?” I asked. This whole book was just a very long Snickers ad. quote:He chuckled. “You are observant, aren’t you?” Remember when this answer was actually a mystery to some people? quote:I thought about it for a moment. "Also I don't remember you giving me your number." quote:“But I didn’t know where you were. I—” I hesitated, dropping my eyes. You haven't succeeded for the rest of the book! quote:“I’m serious,” he growled. No, Bella will not actually fight anyone in the books. quote:I sighed. We were slowing, passing into the boundaries of Forks. It had taken less than twenty minutes. Remember this is normally an hour-long drive. quote:“Will I see you tomorrow?” I demanded. I would loving die laughing if they went through all of that and Edward just did the "Stay away from me" thing again. quote:“Don’t go into the woods alone.” Bella occasionally has to be reminded that bears exist and no, she can't pet them. quote:“I’ll see you tomorrow,” he sighed, and I knew he wanted me to leave now. That's the power of 5 Gum. quote:I was unable to move until my brain had somewhat unscrambled itself. Then I stepped out of the car awkwardly, having to use the frame for support. I thought I heard him chuckle, but the sound was too quiet for me to be certain. I was initially really confused by the timeline, but I checked and sunset in that area in March is 6:00 PM. quote:“Yeah—it was lots of fun.” My head was spinning as I tried to remember all the way back to the girls’ night out I had planned. “They both found dresses.” The same dull look Kristen Stewart had through the whole movie? quote:“I’m just going to call Jessica first.” Charlie Swan says no cell phones while driving. quote:I went to the kitchen and fell, exhausted, into a chair. I was really feeling dizzy now. I wondered if I was going to go into shock after all. Get a grip, I told myself. Even she thinks Edward is a serial killer! quote:“Yes. I left my jacket in your car—could you bring it to me tomorrow?”
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# ? Jul 9, 2019 15:40 |
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In love, just like that.
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# ? Jul 10, 2019 06:40 |
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quote:The words bothered me more than they should—probably because his speculation hit home. I’d always suspected as much, and it embarrassed me to have it confirmed. "I'd always suspected I was immune to mind reading, probably because of my borderline psychopathy." quote:“I was trying to remember how to incapacitate an attacker—you know, self-defense. I was going to smash his nose into his brain.” "On the one hand, I love your readiness to straight-up murder a man. On the other hand, that doesn't actually work. Remind me to teach you how to break a fellow's neck some time."
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# ? Jul 10, 2019 15:30 |
Chapter 10: Interrogationsquote:It was very hard, in the morning, to argue with the part of me that was sure last night was a dream. Logic wasn’t on my side, or common sense. I clung to the parts I couldn’t have imagined—like his smell. I was sure I could never have dreamed that up on my own. So I checked what actual weather in Forks is like. Turns out it's actually a relatively sunny town with no more rain than average for Washington! Why Meyer chose it for her "It rains so much that people don't know what the sky really looks like" town is mystifying. quote:When I got downstairs, Charlie was gone again—I was running later than I’d realized. I swallowed a granola bar in three bites, chased it down with milk straight from the carton, and then hurried out the door. Hopefully the rain would hold off until I could find Jessica. Remember how last time you tried to refuse a ride with him he physically forced you to the car and threatened to kidnap you if you ran? quote:“Yes, thank you,” I said, trying to keep my voice calm. As I stepped into the warm car, I noticed his tan jacket was slung over the headrest of the passenger seat. The door closed behind me, and, sooner than should be possible, he was sitting next to me, starting the car. For someone who's supposed to be blending in as a normal human, Edward sure loves using his super speed for mundane tasks. quote:“I brought the jacket for you. I didn’t want you to get sick or something.” His voice was guarded. I noticed that he wore no jacket himself, just a light gray knit V-neck shirt with long sleeves. Again, the fabric clung to his perfectly muscled chest. It was a colossal tribute to his face that it kept my eyes away from his body. "You've barely made it through a single moment in this book without injuring yourself." quote:We drove through the fog-shrouded streets, always too fast, feeling awkward. I was, at least. Last night all the walls were down… almost all. I didn’t know if we were still being as candid today. It left me tongue-tied. I waited for him to speak. Pretty often! quote:“No, that’s the problem. You take everything so coolly—it’s unnatural. It makes me wonder what you’re really thinking.” That's called "sociopathy" Edward. quote:“I always tell you what I’m really thinking.” Have Edward and Bella had a single interaction that didn't have one of them piss the other off? quote:“Where’s the rest of your family?” I asked—more than glad to be alone with him, but remembering that his car was usually full. Rosalie's car was envisioned by Meyer (with the aid of her brothers) as a 2005 BMW M3 convertible. The film used a similar Mercedes CLK350. quote:“Um, wow,” I breathed. “If she has that, why does she ride with you?” "It's really obvious to everyone that you're either a vampire or serial killer." quote:I laughed and shook my head as we got out of the car. I wasn’t late anymore; his lunatic driving had gotten me to school in plenty of time. “So why did Rosalie drive today if it’s more conspicuous?” That's a fair point from Bella. For all the Cullens' paranoia about being caught, to the point of keeping murder open as an option to keep their cover, none of them actually seem that interested in avoiding attention. They behave oddly in front of people, disappear from school constantly, and speed recklessly in expensive cars while relying on their vampire powers to avoid getting caught or crashing. quote:Under the shelter of the cafeteria roof’s overhang, Jessica was waiting, her eyes about to bug out of their sockets. Over her arm, bless her, was my jacket. I'm sure this relationship will have both partners on equal ground! quote:“No, you not sharing what you know—now that’s not fair.” Another major part of the creep factor in their relationship is the power dynamic. Edward already has a far more dominant personality than Bella, but he also has so many supernatural advantages that they can never be on equal footing unless Bella is turned into a vampire herself. Edward can do whatever he wants; he has super speed, super strength, super senses, telepathy, massive financial resources, immortality, and never needs to eat, sleep, or breathe. Vampire biology is detailed more later on, but he's practically indestructible without massive amounts of high explosives or fire (and if he's not incapacitated in some way, he can use super speed to put out a fire if you try to light him). All of this means Bella has no way to defend herself against him. Edward is stopped from abusing her only by his own whims, and as we've seen he's very bad at restraining himself from trying to control her even before they begin dating. If she wants to go somewhere he doesn't want her to, he can physically restrain her or break every bone in her body without breaking a sweat. If she tries to leave him and move away from Forks, he's got more than enough resources and powers to track her down. He could easily maim or kill anyone around her that he doesn't like, or anyone who would try to help her escape an abusive relationship. He can't read her mind, but he can read everyone else's and his senses are so acute that he can hear, watch, and even smell everything she's doing from a great distance. If you've ever been in an abusive relationship, imagine your abuser being invincible and unstoppable by any means, always capable of spying on you silently. As terrible of a person as Bella is, the power dynamic is such that we can never assume that Bella's decisions are not coerced or under duress in some way. Edward could do anything if he's denied, so even as simple a gesture as reluctantly getting in his car or following him to dinner has a pressure behind it. quote:“Morning, Bella,” Mike said from the seat next to me. I looked up to see an odd, almost resigned look on his face. “How was Port Angeles?” This is the point where the /r/relationships thread goes quote:“Was it like a date—did you tell him to meet you there?” "He has this thing where he might literally eat my face if he tries." quote:“What did you talk about?” She pushed for more information in a whisper. Class had started but Mr. Varner wasn’t paying close attention and we weren’t the only ones still talking. I could not care less about derailing the vampire stuff for teenage romance gossip. quote:“I think so, but it’s hard to tell. He’s always so cryptic,” I threw in for his benefit, sighing. That's not the personality traits I would use when saying I'm scared to talk to him. quote:“I do have some trouble with incoherency when I’m around him,” I admitted. End me. quote:“Too much,” I whispered back. “More than he likes me. But I don’t see how I can help that.” I sighed, one blush blending into the next. Please don't. quote:We spent the rest of the walk dissecting sentence structures and most of Spanish on a minute description of Mike’s facial expressions. I wouldn’t have helped draw it out for as long as I did if I wasn’t worried about the subject returning to me. Is any member of Bella's peer group anything but unbelievably dull and stereotypically childish? quote:“Hello.” His voice was amused and irritated at the same time. He had been listening, it was obvious. "I need to stare at it and brood quietly." quote:I raised one eyebrow. Bella you dumbass. quote:He laughed. “I suppose I’m not surprised.” Something over my shoulder seemed to catch his attention. How many real relationships have had this conversation and had everything turn really bad? quote:“And I warned you that you didn’t want to know everything I was thinking.” I've...also heard this come up in these kinds of conversations. quote:I tried to remember how to exhale. I had to look away before it came back to me. Another sign of borderline personality disorder is exaggerated, frantic fears of abandonment. People with BPD are often terrified that their loved ones will abandon them at the drop of a hat and will go to extremes to avoid it, such as threatening suicide when confronted with the possibility of a breakup (and sometimes attempting it if it happens) or even ending relationships that are otherwise going well to avoid the risk of being left later. It's not for nothing that BPD very commonly manifests in women who suffered abusive or neglectful childhoods, and we know that Bella's mother is flighty and so immature that she was utterly incapable of acting like an adult. quote:“Perceptive,” he whispered. And there was the anguish again, surfacing as he confirmed my fear. “That’s exactly why you’re wrong, though,” he began to explain, but then his eyes narrowed. “What do you mean, ‘the obvious’?” One of the most aggravating Mary Sue traits is "Beautiful but doesn't know it." It's not necessary for every protagonist to be beautiful, or for their love life and attention they get to be reliant on extreme physical attractiveness. There's nothing wrong with writing a female protagonist who legitimately does look pretty average but still gets positive attention for her other traits, but many authors (especially in romance) want a protagonist with shallow flaws for "realism" while still being sufficiently beautiful for their story. So they're gorgeous but have very minor imperfections in their appearance, or even commit the maddening sin of interpreting their normal or attractive features like pale skin a detriment. The problem I have with this is its effect on the young girls who read stories like this. Mary Sues who are beautiful but can't admit it are often paired with women who are beautiful and know it, who are in turn portrayed as vain and often slutty for acknowledging their attractiveness. It contributes to a perception that recognizing your positive traits is a bad thing and that you need to downplay everything good about yourself to maintain humility, a problem that's foisted on girls far too often. quote:My embarrassment was much stronger than my pleasure at the look that came into his eyes when he said this. I quickly reminded him of my original argument. Remember what I said about the power dynamic? quote:Abruptly, his unpredictable mood shifted again; a mischievous, devastating smile rearranged his features. “Of course, keeping you safe is beginning to feel like a full-time occupation that requires my constant presence.” So another aspect of vampire biology is that you're basically frozen the way you are and your personality traits get exaggerated. You not only spend the rest of your unnatural life with the exact same likes, dislikes, interests, etc. but you also heighten everything about them. Edward is literally 17 forever, and while he may learn and mature somewhat he will always be an exaggerated version of that 17-year-old boy. His teenage immaturity is a permanent part of his personality. quote:“Probably not,” I admitted. “But I would have canceled later—faked an illness or a sprained ankle.” And yet in a small town with a very small commercial district you somehow managed to wander a mile into an industrial area looking for your friends. quote:“But apparently,” he interrupted me, “your number wasn’t up in Phoenix. So I’d rather you stayed near me.” His eyes did that unfair smoldering thing again. A PERFECT LOVING RELATIONSHIP quote:I gulped. But, after a moment of thought, I was sure. “I think I’ll take my chances.” Just think about dating someone who's a moody teenager with tendencies toward animalistic violence for eternity. quote:“Let’s talk about something else,” I suggested. quote:He watched my face with enjoyment as that slowly sank in. Edward is just vampire Captain Planet. quote:“Where indeed,” I murmured around another bite of pizza. As Midnight Sun goes into, Edward has made a habit of keeping people away from him by trying to use his teeth and eyes to threaten them like an animal. Unfortunately, he keeps forgetting that he's considered gorgeous and instead accidentally "dazzles" them every time. Edward is kind of an idiot even when he's a creepy murderer. quote:I couldn’t stop the next shiver that flashed down my spine. I peeked across the cafeteria toward Emmett, grateful that he wasn’t looking my way. The thick bands of muscle that wrapped his arms and torso were somehow even more menacing now. Bella you're supposed to be afraid of blood. quote:“Absolutely not!” His face turned even whiter than usual, and his eyes were suddenly furious. I leaned back, stunned and—though I’d never admit it to him—frightened by his reaction. He leaned back as well, folding his arms across his chest. Hey. Hey Bella. Hey. Hey. You should be afraid. Stay away from me. Again. quote:“Then why?” I pressed, trying to ignore his angry expression.
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# ? Jul 11, 2019 19:47 |
Chapter 11: Complicationsquote:Everyone watched us as we walked together to our lab table. I noticed that he no longer angled the chair to sit as far from me as the desk would allow. Instead, he sat quite close beside me, our arms almost touching. I should point out that we're 41% into the book, tens of thousands of words, and only a handful of notable plot points have happened. Wikipedia manages to sum up everything that's occurred in slightly more than one paragraph. quote:I breathed a sigh of relief when Mr. Banner flicked the lights back on at the end of class, and stretched my arms out in front of me, flexing my stiff fingers. Edward chuckled beside me. I actually laughed when I tried picturing this scene in my mind. It's like the cover of a trashy paperback romance novel. quote:I walked into the gym, lightheaded and wobbly. I drifted to the locker room, changing in a trancelike state, only vaguely aware that there were other people surrounding me. Reality didn’t fully set in until I was handed a racket. It wasn’t heavy, yet it felt very unsafe in my hand. I could see a few of the other kids in class eyeing me furtively. Coach Clapp ordered us to pair up into teams. The Twilight wiki actually has a page for Bella Moments listing all the instances of her being a clumsy idiot. She will never, ever lose this trait or learn how to take care of herself. quote:“So,” he said as we walked off the court. Yeah I'm up for that idea of Charlie, Mike, and Jessica being detectives. quote:I choked back the hysteria that threatened to explode, but a small giggle managed to get out despite my efforts. He glowered at me. I waved and fled to the locker room. Does this count as a vore fetish? quote:By the time I walked out of the gym, I had just about decided to walk straight home without even looking toward the parking lot. But my worries were unnecessary. Edward was waiting, leaning casually against the side of the gym, his breathtaking face untroubled now. As I walked to his side, I felt a peculiar sense of release. I see we're continuing the theme of our true love just being an alternating series of them arguing, Edward saying it's really hard not to kill her, and Bella being enraptured by how hot and dangerous he is. quote:He kept up with me easily. Remember what I said about the vampires supposedly keeping themselves undercover but really obviously flaunting their wealth and power? quote:“Ostentatious,” he muttered. This isn't something you loving negotiate about! You just got called out for your behavior being uncomfortable, and instead of apologizing and not doing it you're going to haggle with her? quote:I considered, and decided it was probably the best offer I would get. “Deal,” I agreed. I think Edward is the sociopath. There's nothing sincere about an apology where you sigh and try to argue that you should be allowed to keep doing a bad thing. What does it say about a book when both protagonists can plausibly be called sociopaths? quote:“Um, it doesn’t help with the Charlie situation if an unexplained Volvo is left in the driveway.” He transforms them both into mist and floats them to Seattle. quote:I let it go. I had a more pressing question. "Because the sight of one drop of blood caused you to pass out, so seeing me rip a mountain lion to shreds with my bare hands and eat its entire head would actually kill you." quote:He took a deep breath and stared through the windshield at the thick, rolling clouds that seemed to press down, almost within reach. Meyer tried to advertise this "forbidden love" story with the gimmick of Edward having to fight his nature as a vampire, but it just comes off as the equivalent of trying to date Ted Bundy while he resists the urge to bludgeon you to death with a tire iron. quote:I opened the door, and the arctic draft that burst into the car helped clear my head. Arctic? It's March! The temperature is probably around 50 F! quote:Afraid I might stumble in my woozy state, I stepped carefully out of the car and shut the door behind me without looking back. The whir of the automatic window unrolling made me turn. Unfortunately, this is where our time with Midnight Sun comparisons come to an end. Meyer never got further than this point before sending her first draft to the person who would eventually leak it, causing her to permanently end its creation out of anger. We may or may not revisit the unfinished draft, depending on whether it's relevant and how tired we get of Meyer's writing. quote:That night Edward starred in my dreams, as usual. However, the climate of my unconsciousness had changed. It thrilled with the same electricity that had charged the afternoon, and I tossed and turned restlessly, waking often. It was only in the early hours of the morning that I finally sank into an exhausted, dreamless sleep. Oh God, she's going to Hot Topic! quote:I pulled on my brown turtleneck and the inescapable jeans, sighing as I daydreamed of spaghetti straps and shorts. Breakfast was the usual, quiet event I expected. Charlie fried eggs for himself; I had my bowl of cereal. I wondered if he had forgotten about this Saturday. He answered my unspoken question as he stood up to take his plate to the sink. "They are all my inferiors." quote:I sidestepped the minefield. “It’s a girl’s choice.” Meyer what the hell do you think being a father is like? quote:Charlie left then, with a goodbye wave, and I went upstairs to brush my teeth and gather my books. When I heard the cruiser pull away, I could only wait a few seconds before I had to peek out of my window. The silver car was already there, waiting in Charlie’s spot on the driveway. I bounded down the stairs and out the front door, wondering how long this bizarre routine would continue. I never wanted it to end. And then Charlie's house was robbed while she was gone? quote:I walked to the car, pausing shyly before opening the door and stepping in. He was smiling, relaxed—and, as usual, perfect and beautiful to an excruciating degree. I just felt like letting you know that I was trying to Google something to check when an event in the story happens and one of the top search results was a fanfic about Carlisle spanking Edward. It's 7 chapters and over 22,000 words long, including descriptions of how different members of the Cullen family position themselves for spanking. Thought you ought to know. quote:I laughed. “I guess that’s right. I suppose I slept just a little bit more than you did.” Bella's other fetish is deforestation. quote:He seemed fascinated by my little rant. He considered for a moment, staring into my eyes. Edward speeding in his Volvo to "The Court of the Crimson King" is now in my personal canon and none of you can stop me. quote:It continued like that for the rest of the day. While he walked me to English, when he met me after Spanish, all through the lunch hour, he questioned me relentlessly about every insignificant detail of my existence. Movies I’d liked and hated, the few places I’d been and the many places I wanted to go, and books—endlessly books. Any healthy relationship has one person being utterly obsessed and the other person getting angry at their obsession. quote:But his pause was very short. Edward returns home and creates a board with red string connecting all of her answers into a psychological profile that ends with "Eat her." quote:Biology was a complication again. Edward had continued with his quizzing up until Mr. Banner entered the room, dragging the audiovisual frame again. As the teacher approached the light switch, I noticed Edward slide his chair slightly farther away from mine. It didn’t help. As soon as the room was dark, there was the same electric spark, the same restless craving to stretch my hand across the short space and touch his cold skin, as yesterday. Imagine seeing this relationship play out in real life. "What do you and your boyfriend talk about?" "He asks me questions about literally every one of my likes and dislikes robotically, then silently strokes my face and leaves." quote:Gym passed quickly as I watched Mike’s one-man badminton show. He didn’t speak to me today, either in response to my vacant expression or because he was still angry about our squabble yesterday. Somewhere, in a corner of my mind, I felt bad about that. But I couldn’t concentrate on him. How can you be "monopolizing a conversation" where it's just a guy asking you questions about your life ceaselessly? quote:“Are you finished?” I asked in relief. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F8mYLi3PGOc quote:His voice was thoughtful, as if his mind were somewhere far away. I stared at him as he gazed unseeingly out the windshield. Tomorrow is when he starts doing that Twenty Questions thing teenage guys do where they jump straight into sex questions. quote:But his hand froze on the handle. He senses the plot returning! quote:He flung the door open in one swift movement, and then moved, almost cringed, swiftly away from me. Is the sound of the rain ricocheting off her jacket were the noise is coming from, Meyer? quote:I tried to make out the shapes in the front seat of the other car, but it was too dark. I could see Edward illuminated in the glare of the new car’s headlights; he was still staring ahead, his gaze locked on something or someone I couldn’t see. His expression was a strange mix of frustration and defiance.
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# ? Jul 12, 2019 20:39 |
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chitoryu12 posted:I see we're continuing the theme of our true love just being an alternating series of them arguing, Edward saying it's really hard not to kill her, and Bella being enraptured by how hot and dangerous he is. It's clear that Edward is supposed to be the audience spokesman here.
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# ? Jul 13, 2019 03:09 |
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chitoryu12 posted:Meyer tried to advertise this "forbidden love" story with the gimmick of Edward having to fight his nature as a vampire, but it just comes off as the equivalent of trying to date Ted Bundy while he resists the urge to bludgeon you to death with a tire iron. I kinda want to write a parody now, where the Mysterious Boyfriend actually is just a serial killer. And a really unappealing one, too, not the suave literary type with the violin and the elegantly filed fingernails, but the real-world kind with the greasy hair and the My Little Pony bedsheets. But the protagonist is still just ~*swooning*~ over them. Let Me Be Your Dakimakura posted:"Actually, it's called a magazine," he said, waving the metal block in the air. The slightly nasal tenor of his beautiful voice sent a thrill down my spine. "A clip is a strip of metal into which one slots bullets so they can be rapidly fed into a weapon with an internal magazine."
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# ? Jul 15, 2019 15:15 |
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Someone wrote a parody where instead of a vampire it's Cthulhu (or some other Lovecraftian thing), but I have no clue how He's portrayed.
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# ? Jul 15, 2019 16:20 |
Chapter 12: Balancingquote:“Billy!" Charlie called as soon as he got out of the car. In keeping with the parents being the only sensible adults here, Billy Black is considered one of the most relatable characters in the series. He was played by Gil Birmingham, who's of Comanche ancestry. He was a military brat and guitarist who became a petrochemical engineer before deciding to get into acting after his bodybuilding got him a role in a Diana Ross music video; what I'm trying to say is the guy did loving everything. He spent the next two decades on film, TV, and playing Conan in the Conan the Barbarian stunt show at Universal Studios Hollywood. His role as Billy catapulted him to greater fame and earned him the roles of Thomas Rainwater on Yellowstone and Virgil White on The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. quote:I backed out of the way as the three of them hurried in, shaking off the rain. I see Bella's keeping up her track record of her relationships starting with only one party really being that interested in pursuing it. quote:“Are you hungry?” I asked, turning toward the kitchen. I was eager to escape Billy’s searching gaze. Nobody has ever told Meyer that she's not writing a script for a play. quote:“Sorry. I haven’t seen any… what was it you were looking for?” "I thought it was kinda weird how he stomped the gas and drove away at 100 MPH in the rain for no reason, though." quote:I nodded noncommittally, keeping my eyes down as I flipped sandwiches. I'm immediately way more interested in Charlie and Billy's relationship than Bella and Edward's. quote:“Oh,” I said, trying to sound indifferent. In case you haven't figured it out, Billy is fully aware of all the supernatural goings-on in Forks and his tribe's werewolf secret. He knows exactly how dumb Bella is being with her vampire obsession. quote:“Thanks,” I muttered, looking away. Wait, that's all we got? This got foreshadowed in the last chapter as something serious about to happen with Billy finding out about Bella's relationship and interfering in it. But all we got was him not smiling at her once and leaving! quote:I slept better that night, too tired to dream again. When I woke to the pearl gray morning, my mood was blissful. The tense evening with Billy and Jacob seemed harmless enough now; I decided to forget it completely. I caught myself whistling while I was pulling the front part of my hair back into a barrette, and later again as I skipped down the stairs. Charlie noticed. Yeah the problem ain't his face. quote:“How did you sleep?” he asked. I wondered if he had any idea how appealing his voice was. I think I was right when I brought up how odd it was that Bella (despite being ogled by everyone on her first day) said she was plain and undesirable in Phoenix. That wasn't the problem. She just didn't pursue anyone until she encountered a supernaturally beautiful vampire that could fulfill her danger fetish. quote:His lips pressed together into a hard line. Remember the excerpt from Midnight Sun where Edward reveals he picked the key from her pocket after dropping her off at home for the first time? quote:“So where are you going?” I asked as casually as I could manage. That wouldn't be unprecedented. quote:He scowled at me and I scowled back. His anger was much more impressive than mine. Midnight Sun is mostly a direct rehash of every single Bella and Edward scene right down to the dialogue, but one of the very few improvements it adds to the story is showing Edward's side of everything. During this book he's been spending just about every night talking to his vampire family, trying to figure out what to do. His obsession with Bella is the desirability of her blood as much as his attraction to her and the intrigue of her being immune to mind reading. When Edward saved Bella from the van, Jasper and Rosalie both wanted to kill her as an eyewitness. Carlisle convinced them to stand down to stay true to their coven's refusal to kill humans, but there's a bigger problem: Alice's power is predicting the future, and the only three paths that she's solidified on at this point are Edward falling in love with Bella, killing Bella, or having her transformed into a vampire to be with them. While it still wouldn't fix any current issues with the writing and characters, I think Twilight would have been much better if it was written from a third-person view and skipped between the two. Much of Edward's behavior comes off as so abhorrent or bizarre because it's lacking the context that's all left in the background unless you read an unfinished draft. It's still not good, but a lot of scenes make way more sense. quote:I grimaced. “Neither do I, for that matter.” "You always make these dramatically dumb decisions. I never know what's going to happen next." quote:I looked away, my eyes wandering back to his family, embarrassed and dissatisfied. His words made me feel like a science experiment. I wanted to laugh at myself for expecting anything else. Another thing Midnight Sun shows is that because Edward is telepathic, the other members of his family will silently communicate with him by letting their thoughts get picked up. It only works one way because none of them are telepathic, but it's actually a cool use of the power that (again) I wish was explored more fully in this first book. quote:His face was tight as he explained. “I’m sorry about that. She’s just worried. You see… it’s dangerous for more than just me if, after spending so much time with you so publicly…” He looked down. Alice was played by 21-year-old Ashley Greene (very close to the real Alice's frozen age of 19), who was easily one of the top casting choices of the film in terms of similarity to the book. She wanted to be a model, but she's only 5'5. She's been lower key than the rest of her celebrity companions in the Cullen family, still acting consistently but mostly appearing in limited releases or smaller films. Being nerds, you've most likely heard her voicing Barbara Gordon in Batman: Arkham Knight. quote:He greeted her without looking away from me. “Alice.” Almost as long as reading this! quote:“I’ll be there in the morning,” he promised, smiling his crooked smile. He reached across the table to touch my face, lightly brushing along my cheekbone again. Then he turned and walked away. I stared after him until he was gone. A good relationship is one that you need to hide because it might end in you dying and suspicion falling on your boyfriend. quote:I intuitively knew—and sensed he did, too—that tomorrow would be pivotal. Our relationship couldn’t continue to balance, as it did, on the point of a knife. We would fall off one edge or the other, depending entirely upon his decision, or his instincts. My decision was made, made before I’d ever consciously chosen, and I was committed to seeing it through. Because there was nothing more terrifying to me, more excruciating, than the thought of turning away from him. It was an impossibility. Is it really surprising? You've been doing it this whole book. You can't just do something consistently from start to finish and then go "Golly gee, I've never been like this before!" quote:“Oh.” He perked up. “You know, you could come to the dance with our group anyway—that would be cool. We’d all dance with you,” he promised. Again, I wonder why everyone except Lauren is so eager to be Bella's friend despite her being a pretty terrible one. quote:When the school day had finally ended, I walked to the parking lot without enthusiasm. I did not especially want to walk home, but I couldn’t see how he would have retrieved my truck. Then again, I was starting to believe that nothing was impossible for him. The latter instinct proved correct—my truck sat in the same space he’d parked his Volvo in this morning. I shook my head, incredulous, as I opened the unlocked door and saw the key in the ignition. Is she really not going to question how easily he found her key? quote:When I got home, the handle of the door was locked, the dead bolt unlocked, just as I’d left it this morning. Inside, I went straight to the laundry room. It looked just the same as I’d left it, too. I dug for my jeans and, after finding them, checked the pockets. Empty. Maybe I’d hung my key up after all, I thought, shaking my head. Let's never forget that Edward is so protectively clingy that he stole her truck key and arranged for her to keep being driven around by him so she wouldn't suspect it. quote:Following the same instinct that had prompted me to lie to Mike, I called Jessica on the pretense of wishing her luck at the dance. When she offered the same wish for my day with Edward, I told her about the cancellation. She was more disappointed than really necessary for a third-party observer to be. I said goodbye quickly after that. That's because Charlie is a pure soul. quote:“You know, Dad…,” I began, breaking into his reverie. Charlie doesn't deserve this. quote:After dinner, I folded clothes and moved another load through the dryer. Unfortunately it was the kind of job that only keeps hands busy. My mind definitely had too much free time, and it was getting out of control. I fluctuated between anticipation so intense that it was very nearly pain, and an insidious fear that picked at my resolve. I had to keep reminding myself that I’d made my choice, and I wasn’t going back on it. I pulled his note out of my pocket much more often than necessary to absorb the two small words he’d written. He wants me to be safe, I told myself again and again. I would just hold on to the faith that, in the end, that desire would win out over the others. And what was my other choice—to cut him out of my life? Intolerable. Besides, since I’d come to Forks, it really seemed like my life was about him. Just wait until we get to New Moon! quote:I was relieved when it was late enough to be acceptable for bedtime. I knew I was far too stressed to sleep, so I did something I’d never done before. I deliberately took unnecessary cold medicine—the kind that knocked me out for a good eight hours. I normally wouldn’t condone that type of behavior in myself, but tomorrow would be complicated enough without me being loopy from sleep deprivation on top of everything else. While I waited for the drugs to kick in, I dried my clean hair till it was impeccably straight, and fussed over what I would wear tomorrow. Can we get a count of how many times Bella says that she's so bad for doing these things and she never does this but actually does it all the time? quote:I woke early, having slept soundly and dreamlessly thanks to my gratuitous drug use. That was just cold medicine, Bella. Call me when you're abusing sleeping pills. quote:Though I was well rested, I slipped right back into the same hectic frenzy from the night before. I dressed in a rush, smoothing my collar against my neck, fidgeting with the tan sweater till it hung right over my jeans. I sneaked a swift look out the window to see that Charlie was already gone. A thin, cottony layer of clouds veiled the sky. They didn’t look very lasting. Because you put the bare minimum of effort into most of your life? quote:I locked the door behind me while he walked to the truck. He waited by the passenger door with a martyred expression that was easy to understand. Bella don't tell me you drive without your loving seatbelt too! quote:“Where to?” I repeated with a sigh. Our hero! quote:We drove in silence for a while as I contemplated the coming horror. I could build a quilt that covered Meyer's house with all the red flags in this. quote:I pretended I didn’t hear that. I'm really into that idea of making a book that's exactly the same but instead of a vampire Edward really is a serial killer. quote:And then the road ended, constricting to a thin foot trail with a small wooden marker. I parked on the narrow shoulder and stepped out, afraid because he was angry with me and I didn’t have driving as an excuse not to look at him. It was warm now, warmer than it had been in Forks since the day I’d arrived, almost muggy under the clouds. I pulled off my sweater and knotted it around my waist, glad that I’d worn the light, sleeveless shirt—especially if I had five miles of hiking ahead of me. This got old many, many chapters ago. quote:He stared at me, bewildered by my tortured expression. Imagine being such a wimp that your reaction to a 5-mile hike on a pleasant day is extreme enough to make your date think that you're having a nervous breakdown over vampires. quote:“If you want me to hack five miles through the jungle before sundown, you’d better start leading the way,” I said acidly. He frowned at me, struggling to understand my tone and expression. He gave up after a moment and led the way into the forest. This poo poo reads like a parody of itself sometimes. quote:For the most part, we walked in silence. Occasionally he would ask a random question that he hadn’t gotten to in the past two days of interrogation. He asked about my birthdays, my grade school teachers, my childhood pets—and I had to admit that after killing three fish in a row, I’d given up on the whole institution. He laughed at that, louder than I was used to—bell-like echoes bouncing back to us from the empty woods. Seriously, what's her appeal? At what point has our "generic audience stand-in" done anything to make her even slightly appealing as a girlfriend? quote:The hike took me most of the morning, but he never showed any sign of impatience. The forest spread out around us in a boundless labyrinth of ancient trees, and I began to be nervous that we would never find our way out again. He was perfectly at ease, comfortable in the green maze, never seeming to feel any doubt about our direction. Always make sure your boyfriend flaunts his talents and superiority over the rest of humanity at every turn! quote:But then, after another hundred yards, I could definitely see a lightening in the trees ahead, a glow that was yellow instead of green. I picked up the pace, my eagerness growing with every step. He let me lead now, following noiselessly. chitoryu12 fucked around with this message at 17:41 on Jul 15, 2019 |
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# ? Jul 15, 2019 17:37 |
Chapter 13: Confessionsquote:Edward in the sunlight was shocking. I couldn't get used to it, though I’d been staring at him all afternoon. His skin, white despite the faint flush from yesterday’s hunting trip, literally sparkled, like thousands of tiny diamonds were embedded in the surface. He lay perfectly still in the grass, his shirt open over his sculpted, incandescent chest, his scintillating arms bare. His glistening, pale lavender lids were shut, though of course he didn’t sleep. A perfect statue, carved in some unknown stone, smooth like marble, glittering like crystal. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SnJzOrHZwk8 Everyone focused on the bizarre tweeness of sparkling vampires, but I can't get over how boring this passage is. The reveal got its own dramatic chapter break and is being talked up as this impossibly gorgeous thing that strikes Bella dumb, but it's written with the same dull matter-of-fact manner as the rest of Meyer's writing. It has all the emotional impact of her recounting yet another day in school. quote:Hesitantly, always afraid, even now, that he would disappear like a mirage, too beautiful to be real… hesitantly, I reached out one finger and stroked the back of his shimmering hand, where it lay within my reach. I marveled again at the perfect texture, satin smooth, cool as stone. When I looked up again, his eyes were open, watching me. Butterscotch today, lighter, warmer after hunting. His quick smile turned up the corners of his flawless lips. After reading Midnight Sun, I understand now why Robert Pattinson played Edward the way he did. On the surface Edward does a lot of smiling and playful mockery, but hearing his inner monologue really brings out the inhuman obsession and violence in his personality. quote:I lightly trailed my hand over the perfect muscles of his arm, followed the faint pattern of bluish veins inside the crease at his elbow. With my other hand, I reached to turn his hand over. Realizing what I wished, he flipped his palm up in one of those blindingly fast, disconcerting movements of his. It startled me; my fingers froze on his arm for a brief second. But weren't you telling her in every single chapter (drat near every conversation, in fact) that you did want her to be afraid and that being with you is a mistake? quote:“Well, that’s not exactly the fear I meant, though that’s certainly something to think about.” Edward's super speed coming out during what's supposed to be a tender romantic moment makes it comical to me. I'm envisioning this Looney Toons cartoonish zooming around at every impulse. quote:After ten incredibly long seconds, he walked back, slowly for him. He stopped, still several feet away, and sank gracefully to the ground, crossing his legs. His eyes never left mine. He took two deep breaths, and then smiled in apology. This is like that moment when you first visit your boyfriend's house after getting married and he just pulls out a gun and stares you dead in the eye. quote:I sat without moving, more frightened of him than I had ever been. I’d never seen him so completely freed of that carefully cultivated façade. He’d never been less human… or more beautiful. Face ashen, eyes wide, I sat like a bird locked in the eyes of a snake. Mask of Ancient Sadness is my new metal band name. quote:“Don’t be afraid,” he murmured, his velvet voice unintentionally seductive. “I promise…” He hesitated. “I swear not to hurt you.” He seemed more concerned with convincing himself than me. Then why the gently caress were you just showing off how easily you could kill her and telling her that she needs to be afraid of you all the time?! I'm getting loving whiplash trying to understand this relationship. quote:“Don’t be afraid,” he whispered again as he stepped closer, with exaggerated slowness. He sat sinuously, with deliberately unhurried movements, till our faces were on the same level, just a foot apart. Meyer hits every single point of abuser language so perfectly that I almost can't believe she did it all unintentionally. Is she okay? Do we need to investigate her husband? quote:He waited, but I still couldn’t speak. Seriously. Young girls were supposed to find this romantic. quote:“Are you all right?” he asked tenderly, reaching out slowly, carefully, to place his marble hand back in mine. Edward was turned in 1918 as a teenager. He's not loving Heathcliff. quote:“I honestly can’t remember.” He smiled, but his face was ashamed. Apparently Meyer's idea of someone speaking like they're from the past is people talking like characters in 19th century literature. quote:I looked into his eyes, abruptly grasping that this was every bit as new to him as it was to me. As many years of unfathomable experience as he had, this was hard for him, too. I took courage from that thought. This is me trying to follow the direction of the conversation. quote:“It’s not only your company I crave! Never forget that. Never forget I am more dangerous to you than I am to anyone else.” He stopped, and I looked to see him gazing unseeingly into the forest. He's a loving vampire. quote:He looked back at me and smiled, his mood shifting yet again. I definitely understand this analogy. quote:We sat silently, looking into each other’s eyes—trying to read each other’s thoughts. You're just making this worse now! quote:“So what you’re saying is, I’m your brand of heroin?” I teased, trying to lighten the mood. Again, romance book meant to appeal to teenage girls. quote:“Does that happen often?” I asked. Jasper is a loving rube, is what he's saying. quote:“Sorry,” he said. I should point out before we meet them that Carlisle is the only member of the Cullen family to never kill a human being. All of them, Edward especially, have a high enough body count to be considered mass murderers. quote:He lifted his eyes; his expression was wistful, pleading. Yeah but when most of us fall off the wagon the wagon isn't "killing people"! quote:“What are you asking? My permission?” My voice was sharper than I’d intended. I tried to make my tone kinder—I could guess what his honesty must cost him. “I mean, is there no hope, then?” How calmly I could discuss my own death! Remember in the prologue where Bella says she's never given much thought to how she would die? That's a lie too. quote:“No, no!” He was instantly contrite. “Of course there’s hope! I mean, of course I won’t…” He left the sentence hanging. His eyes burned into mine. “It’s different for us. Emmett… these were strangers he happened across. It was a long time ago, and he wasn’t as… practiced, as careful, as he is now.” He's not kidding. Midnight Sun begins with Edward actually thinking about how he would get away with killing Bella and then the entire classroom of witnesses. Had this coin flip landed the other way, the book would have ended in the first chapter after Edward Cullen slaughtered two dozen teenagers and their teacher. Isn't this a pleasant thing to admit to your potential girlfriend? That you just barely resisted the urge to commit mass murder upon seeing her? quote:He glanced at me grimly, both of us remembering. “You must have thought I was possessed.” The comparisons to a serial killer are no longer hypothetical. quote:He frowned down at my hands, releasing me from the force of his stare. “And then, as I tried to rearrange my schedule in a pointless attempt to avoid you, you were there—in that close, warm little room, the scent was maddening. I so very nearly took you then. There was only one other frail human there—so easily dealt with.” No, you are not responsible for what a murderer does to other people. Edward's behavior is beyond inexcusable: his past alone makes him deserving of capital punishment. quote:“But I resisted. I don’t know how. I forced myself not to wait for you, not to follow you from the school. It was easier outside, when I couldn’t smell you anymore, to think clearly, to make the right decision. I left the others near home—I was too ashamed to tell them how weak I was, they only knew something was very wrong—and then I went straight to Carlisle, at the hospital, to tell him I was leaving.” Something I brought up in the Handbook for Mortals thread is how basically the final third of the book is done in a quasi-first-third person where the protagonist is recounting what happened while she was unconscious by pulling memories from the people involved. She tried to handwave it by saying they gave her permission to pull the memories, but she immediately talks about wanting to find a way to easily do it without permission. There seems to be this thing among the Twilight fandom (of which Lani Sarem is a part, which we'll get into later with Jasper) where reading minds, delving into someone's most private thoughts, is perfectly okay. Edward casually invades everyone's privacy as a matter of course, using his ability to pry into their heads as just another tool in his arsenal. He's gotten so used to it that he gets irritated and finds roundabout ways to stalk people when he can't. quote:“I wanted you to forget my behavior that first day, if possible, so I tried to talk with you like I would with any person. I was eager actually, hoping to decipher some of your thoughts. But you were too interesting, I found myself caught up in your expressions… and every now and then you would stir the air with your hand or your hair, and the scent would stun me again.… Don't forget this one either. The Cullens take their secrecy very seriously for a group of vampires that loves making it really obvious that they're vampires and showing off to everyone. Had Bella breathed a word of what happened to anyone, she would have mysteriously gone to sleep and not woken up from an undiagnosed head injury in the crash. The family that Bella wants to love and call her own later in the series had a gun to her head the whole time, and this won't be the first time they threaten her life. quote:He met my eyes again, and they were surprisingly tender. This is the kind of guy that gives women incentive to carry a knife in their purse. quote:I was human enough to have to ask. “Why?” This might be peak creep. quote:My head was spinning at the rapid change in direction our conversation had taken. From the cheerful topic of my impending demise, we were suddenly declaring ourselves. He waited, and even though I looked down to study our hands between us, I knew his golden eyes were on me. "And so the lion fell in love with the lamb" is an extremely popular phrase among Twilight fans who unironically think this is a great love story, pasting it over glittery Myspace GIFs. They tend to leave out the other two thirds of it. quote:“Why…?” I began, and then paused, not sure how to continue. We return to the use of abuse tropes being blissfully used by Meyer. Bella feels a need to adjust her own behavior to prevent her boyfriend from harming her. quote:He smiled again. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Bella. It was my fault.” This is just disturbing now. quote:“The blush on your cheeks is lovely,” he murmured. He gently freed his other hand. My hands fell limply into my lap. Softly he brushed my cheek, then held my face between his marble hands. Is this the thrill people seek when they want knife play in bed? quote:I don’t know how long we sat without moving. It could have been hours. Eventually the throb of my pulse quieted, but he didn’t move or speak again as he held me. I knew at any moment it could be too much, and my life could end—so quickly that I might not even notice. And I couldn’t make myself be afraid. I couldn’t think of anything, except that he was touching me. I think I get it now how a BDSM fanfic came from this so easily. quote:“Here.” He took my hand and placed it against his cheek. “Do you feel how warm it is?” I think our serial killer reimagining could use most of his dialogue completely unaltered. quote:He raised his hand to my hair, then carefully brushed it across my face. "You're also not compelled to violently murder everyone around you, which is probably a more apt comparison than drugs here." quote:“But…” His fingers touched my lips lightly, making me shiver again. “There are other hungers. Hungers I don’t even understand, that are foreign to me.” Edward you were loving 17 when you were turned. Don't tell me you've somehow not been a horny teenage boy for eternity. quote:“For me?” I paused. “No, never. Never before this.” You've already learned that virtually every vampire myth is false. Don't be this loving dumb. quote:He laughed, louder than I’d ever heard. “Like I haven’t heard that one before!” Who the hell would you have heard it from, Edward? The only humans who would have known you were a vampire got killed! quote:“Come on, little coward, climb on my back.” Bella it's been five minutes since you saw his super strength last. quote:“Hah!” he snorted. I could almost hear his eyes rolling. I’d never seen him in such high spirits before. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kELmSLtEiiI The movie moved this to after she meets the Cullens at their home for the first time. The sweeping vistas really show how unbelievably gray and desaturated the first movie was; the sequels decide to use more natural colors and come off better for it. quote:“Exhilarating, isn’t it?” His voice was high, excited. I'd be more concerned about the g-forces Bella experienced on that. On the other hand, this is legitimately the only part of the book that's been legitimately amusing so far. quote:I tried to be positive, but my voice was weak. “No, it was very interesting.” Or perhaps he's trying to figure out how to do this without ripping your lips off. quote:Edward hesitated to test himself, to see if this was safe, to make sure he was still in control of his need. Vampire biology: their skin feels exactly like cold stone to humans. Their tissues are extremely hard (the movies show dismembered vampires basically shattering like ice) and they have no blood circulation. Kissing Edward really is like making out with an old Greek statue at the museum. quote:His eyes were wild, his jaw clenched in acute restraint, yet he didn’t lapse from his perfect articulation. He held my face just inches from his. He dazzled my eyes. Oh, you have no idea. quote:“I can’t be sure, I’m still woozy,” I managed to respond. “I think it’s some of both, though.” He has a point. Bella was barely able to drive them there without crashing because of how distracted she was. She might actually kill herself trying to drive now. quote:“I can’t argue with that,” I sighed. There was no way around it; I couldn’t resist him in anything. I held the key high and dropped it, watching his hand flash like lightning to catch it soundlessly. “Take it easy—my truck is a senior citizen.” What did I say before about their power dynamic? quote:“Very sensible,” he approved.
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# ? Jul 17, 2019 17:36 |
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quote:I should point out before we meet them that Carlisle is the only member of the Cullen family to never kill a human being. All of them, Edward especially, have a high enough body count to be considered mass murderers. Rose only killed 7 people in her life, and that was all revenge-motivated and she's never once drunk human blood. Her record is pretty good for a vampire. Which makes all the whinging about newborns being unable to control their thirst in the later books pretty stupid. There's two in this clan alone that can point out that that's wrong.
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# ? Jul 18, 2019 01:11 |
Chapter 14: Mind Over Matter Amazingly, we're past the halfway point of the book already! It's taken us 54% of the way through to get the full reveal of Edward's powers, and we still haven't heard his or any of his family's backstory. quote:He could drive well, when he kept the speed reasonable, I had to admit. Like so many things, it seemed to be effortless to him. He barely looked at the road, yet the tires never deviated so much as a centimeter from the center of the lane. He drove one-handed, holding my hand on the seat. Sometimes he gazed into the setting sun, sometimes he glanced at me—my face, my hair blowing out the open window, our hands twined together. Edward is boring as hell. quote:“Are you ever going to tell me how old you are?” I asked, tentative, not wanting to upset his buoyant humor. More than you demonstrating your vampire deadliness and talking about how hard it is not to kill her on impulse all the time? quote:He gazed into the sun; the minutes passed. I think every father or father figure in these books is a decent person. It's frustrating because Meyer clearly can write protagonists who aren't sociopaths, but chooses not to. quote:I could tell from the set of his lips, he would say no more on this subject. I suppressed my curiosity, though it was far from idle. There were many things I needed to think through on this particular issue, things that were only beginning to occur to me. No doubt his quick mind had already comprehended every aspect that eluded me. The Cullen family in general is infinitely more interesting than the Edward and Bella romance. I'd much rather have had books about their exploits throughout history instead of focusing on the whiny teenager of the coven. quote:“Yes,” he murmured. “She saw something in his face that made her strong enough. And they’ve been together ever since. Sometimes they live separately from us, as a married couple. But the younger we pretend to be, the longer we can stay in any given place. Forks seemed perfect, so we all enrolled in high school.” He laughed. “I suppose we’ll have to go to their wedding in a few years, again.” See? How could you not like that more than this guy? quote:“Alice and Jasper?” This is what Midnight Sun went into detail on, with Alice using her visions of possible timelines to guide their decision with Bella. quote:“What kinds of things does she see?” The Olympic Peninsula is not "one of the most sunless places in the world." Even the Google Street View picture I took of the real high school in Forks was taken on a sunny day! It gets a lot of rain, sure, but not enough that everyone there is a pale beast fearful of the sky orb. It also brings into question exactly how much light is required, or if it's only sunlight. It's implied that the sparkling is a physical aspect of his indestructible skin's cellular structure, rather than anything supernatural. Wouldn't his skin have at least a faint glimmer at all times? Wouldn't he be sparkling all over high school under the fluorescent lights? quote:“So that’s where the legends came from?” Notice how Edward is the only one without a cool backstory? You'll hear about the others later but I promise they're all way more intriguing and awesome than "I was a teenager who died of the Spanish Flu like 100 million other people." quote:There was so much to think through, so much I still wanted to ask. But, to my great embarrassment, my stomach growled. I’d been so intrigued, I hadn’t even noticed I was hungry. I realized now that I was ravenous. You're not supposed to be! quote:He was unrepentant. “What else is there to do at night?” Pick up a new hobby? You've got loving eternity to do it! quote:I let it go for the moment and went down the hall to the kitchen. He was there before me, needing no guide. He sat in the very chair I’d tried to picture him in. His beauty lit up the kitchen. It was a moment before I could look away. You're more upset about talking in your sleep than the vampire stalking you nightly? quote:His expression shifted instantly to chagrin. “Are you very angry with me?” That's the wrong thing to be angry about! quote:Instantly, silently, he was at my side, taking my hands carefully in his. quote:My father’s key turned in the door. There's actually a decent person there now! quote:“Thanks,” he said as I placed his food on the table. This was all just a build-up to Bella being gay. quote:“I thought maybe that Mike Newton… you said he was friendly.” She's actually the worst one there! quote:“Sounds like a good idea to me,” I agreed as I headed up the stairs. Oh so now it's not okay? quote:I worked to make my tread sound slow and tired as I walked up the stairs to my room. I shut the door loud enough for him to hear, and then sprinted on my tiptoes to the window. I threw it open and leaned out into the night. My eyes scanned the darkness, the impenetrable shadows of the trees. I admit that if I had his powers, I would be doing that all the time to people. I already walk really quietly in the office and scare people by accident regularly. quote:He sat up slowly, so as not to startle me again. Then he leaned forward and reached out with his long arms to pick me up, gripping the tops of my arms like I was a toddler. He sat me on the bed beside him. How hard is he laughing that it's quiet but also shaking the bed? Is it made of matchsticks? quote:We sat there for a moment in silence, both listening to my heartbeat slow. I thought about having Edward in my room, with my father in the house. It would certainly be the fastest sex you've ever had! quote:“Can I have a minute to be human?” I asked. Chill. quote:Edward hadn’t moved a fraction of an inch, a carving of Adonis perched on my faded quilt. I smiled, and his lips twitched, the statue coming to life. Yeah that's a good point. Edward habitually reads everyone's minds around him. Why not now? quote:“Apparently, I look a little overexcited.” "Needs oregano...." quote:It was very difficult, while he was touching me, to frame a coherent question. It took me a minute of scattered concentration to begin. Didn't we just dedicate most of a chapter to this conversation? quote:“You’re good at everything,” I pointed out. Yes, this is the exact same conversation we've been having for the past dozen pages. quote:He threw back his head and laughed, quietly as a whisper, but still exuberantly. What exactly would that look or sound like? quote:“Easy for you!” he amended, touching my nose with his fingertip. I'm picturing him like Hexadecimal from ReBoot where his face just instantly switches between expressions with every sentence. quote:“I’m trying,” he whispered, his voice pained. “If it gets to be… too much, I’m fairly sure I’ll be able to leave.” No no that's our next series. quote:But his long hands formed manacles around my wrists as he spoke. He laughed his quiet, musical laugh. He’d laughed more tonight than I’d ever heard in all the time I’d spent with him. What kind of life did Edward live as a human that he never once experienced love or jealousy? I have no idea, because Meyer never writes about it! Every other member of his family gets a detailed backstory leading up to their transformation into a vampire, but Edward's backstory is literally just "He was a teenager dying of the Spanish Flu." Nothing else. quote:“I waited, unreasonably anxious to hear what you would say to them, to watch your expressions. I couldn’t deny the relief I felt, watching the annoyance on your face. But I couldn’t be sure. Raise your hand if you think Mike has been even a fraction as vile as Edward and Bella. quote:“I should have known you’d be listening,” I groaned. Yeah, there really isn't any canon explanation for why Bella is so attractive to Edward. She just is. It's "meant to be." quote:“It hardly seems fair,” I whispered, my face still resting on his chest, listening to his breath come and go. “I haven’t had to wait at all. Why should I get off so easily?” quote:“Darn it,” I muttered. My heart was crashing in my chest. This book really needs to stop doing that thing where I make a joke exaggerating someone's weird characteristics and then they just do it. quote:He chuckled, and then sighed. And Edward brought gloominess! quote:I considered the impossibilities he described, trying to take it in. He waited patiently while I thought. The club, actually. quote:I wanted to turn toward him, to see if it was really his lips against my hair. But I had to be good; I didn’t want to make this any harder for him than it already was. Maybe the trait Edward brought was a burning desire to violate everyone's privacy? quote:“I’m glad you can’t read my thoughts. It’s bad enough that you eavesdrop on my sleep-talking.” Emmett fucks. quote:“Oh,” was all I could say. Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex is an old essay about this very subject. quote:He waited for me to respond, growing anxious when I didn’t. “Are you scared?” he asked. Being eternally 17, he's technically either a boy or a senior citizen. quote:I yawned involuntarily.
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# ? Jul 18, 2019 17:15 |
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If nothing else, I feel so much better about the dialogue in my own writing after this. Thanks for the public service, chitoryu12!
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# ? Jul 18, 2019 17:55 |
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Freesias aren't mouthwatering. Bella should smell like a rare prime rib or a bag of pennies to him.
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# ? Jul 18, 2019 18:05 |
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MorgaineDax posted:Freesias aren't mouthwatering. Bella should smell like a rare prime rib or a bag of pennies to him. I say if Meyer wants to eat flowers, let her eat flowers.
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# ? Jul 18, 2019 18:07 |
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I really would find the adventures of the Cullen family more interesting than this attempt at romance, but I suspect even those would be best written by someone else.
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# ? Jul 18, 2019 21:00 |
Like if you go on the Twilight wiki, this is what they have for Edward's backstory:quote:Edward Anthony Masen was born on June 20, 1901 in Chicago, Illinois; the only child of Edward and Elizabeth Masen. His father provided Edward with many advantages as a successful lawyer, including music lessons and the opportunity to attend private school; however, he and his father were rather emotionally distant due to his busy career that often drew him away from home for business. This absence was made up for by his relationship with his mother; he was the center of her life. By comparison, this is Emmett: quote:Emmett McCarty was born in 1915 and grew up in the small town of Gatlinburg, Tennessee, as part of a large Scotch-Irish family. He had what his parents considered a wild adolescence, never one to worry about consequences and preferring to gamble, drink, and womanize. However, he was a loving child of his family who always kept them supplied with game. He worked on the railroad with his older brothers in Gatlinburg, while his younger 14 year old sister would help their mother with housework. You tell me who you want as your protagonist now.
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# ? Jul 18, 2019 21:25 |
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quote:”You don’t realize how incredibly breakable you are. I can never, never afford to lose any kind of control when I’m with you.” Eddie must really blow a load. Also Gatlinburg holy poo poo, that place is in the dictionary under the entry for “tourist trap.”
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# ? Jul 19, 2019 02:37 |
Midjack posted:Eddie must really blow a load. In Emmett’s time, Gatlinburg had just started to become a tourist destination when he was turned. It rapidly went from a small village to a tourist town within a few years. That reminds me: go to Pigeon Forge. It’s worth it.
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# ? Jul 19, 2019 04:01 |
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chitoryu12 posted:In Emmett’s time, Gatlinburg had just started to become a tourist destination when he was turned. It rapidly went from a small village to a tourist town within a few years. I grew up an hour from there, I have absorbed a lifetime dose of their perpetual Country Christmastime.
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# ? Jul 19, 2019 04:12 |
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So is the fact that Emmett feeds so much on bears his way of saying, "gently caress you for trying to kill me, bears!'?
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# ? Jul 19, 2019 11:52 |
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# ? May 28, 2024 16:32 |
Chapter 15: The Cullensquote:The muted light of yet another cloudy day eventually woke me. I lay with my arm across my eyes, groggy and dazed. Something, a dream trying to be remembered, struggled to break into my consciousness. I moaned and rolled on my side, hoping more sleep would come. And then the previous day flooded back into my awareness. Goddamn. quote:“Charlie!” I remembered, thoughtlessly jumping up again and heading to the door. I'm going to have to take points away from Charlie here. Bella's shown no predilections toward irresponsibility that he's aware of. Obviously we know that she loves endangering herself and only gets worse in the sequels, but as far as he knows she's barely even gone out with friends and has mostly stayed cooped up at home except for the Port Angeles trip. Disabling her truck because she went to bed too early is massively overprotective. However, I will disagree with Edward about her determination. As far as I know she has little to no mechanical skill and can barely walk in a straight line without falling over. I fully believe that unplugging her car battery would be enough to keep her from fleeing the suburbs at midnight. quote:I deliberated where I stood, wanting to return to him badly, but afraid I might have morning breath. "Just because you leave the house in ratty sweatpants and a hoodie doesn't mean I have to." quote:I pouted. You've had what, two dates? One kiss? No interactions in your daily life except him grilling you endlessly with questions before silently stroking your face and walking away, interspersed with veiled death threats? quote:There was nothing more to say for the moment. He rocked us back and forth as the room grew lighter. I'll admit that was actually pretty funny. quote:“Shall I rephrase?” he asked. “Breakfast time for the human.” Canonically Edward is a great cook, but I think it would have been funnier if he completely forgot everything about food because of not having to eat for nearly 80 years and all of his culinary creations were utterly lethal. quote:I grinned, hopping up. Bella you idiot. quote:He rolled his eyes. “Just eat, Bella.” Is this really still loving going? quote:“Yes,” I admitted; how could I deny it—he could see my eyes. It's only been hinted at so far with vampire biology, but they're completely incapable of digesting or passing any food. They have to throw it back up if they eat it. quote:“Well, it’s no irritable grizzly…,” I murmured, ignoring him when he glowered. I was still wondering why he responded that way when I mentioned Alice. I hurried through my cereal, speculating. Only if you want to terrify the poor man! quote:“I don’t know,” I admitted. My dating history gave me few reference points to work with. Not that any normal rules of dating applied here. “That’s not necessary, you know. I don’t expect you to… I mean, you don’t have to pretend for me.” I don't know if it's Meyer's overly detailed and hand-holdy writing or if she legitimately wanted Edward to be this creepy and abrasive. quote:“Is that what you are?” I suppressed my internal cringing at the thought of Edward and Charlie and the word boyfriend all in the same room at the same time. "Legally, it's ephebophilia." quote:“I was under the impression that you were something more, actually,” I confessed, looking at the table. This actually gave me a sudden thought. As far as we know from canon, vampires are completely immortal and very hard to kill. There are implications of especially old vampires showing changes after thousands of years, but otherwise nothing to suggest that they'll ever die except through violence. Have the Cullens considered this? Are they planning on staying alive until Earth is swallowed by the sun and they get roasted on an empty rock? Were they hoping space travel gets developed? If so, are they going to try and stay alive until the universe ends? Do they have a suicide pact to kill themselves when humanity finally dies out? These are all the questions that really should be asked before you become immortal. quote:“Are you finished?” he finally asked. In case you forgot the author's a Mormon. quote:“Okay.” I bounced down the stairs. “I’m decent.” Mormon. quote:He sighed, shaking his head. “You are so absurd.” He pressed his cool lips delicately to my forehead, and the room spun. The smell of his breath made it impossible to think. Somehow Bella gets more absurdly, comically weak in every chapter. quote:I laughed weakly, letting his arms support me while my head spun. Hey, she's catching on! quote:He measured my expression for a moment. “I’m very partial to that color with your skin,” he offered unexpectedly. I flushed with pleasure, and looked away. I don't think he means that the way you think he means it, Bella. quote:I realized, as he drove my truck out of the main part of town, that I had no idea where he lived. We passed over the bridge at the Calawah River, the road winding northward, the houses flashing past us growing farther apart, getting bigger. And then we were past the other houses altogether, driving through misty forest. I was trying to decide whether to ask or be patient, when he turned abruptly onto an unpaved road. It was unmarked, barely visible among the ferns. The forest encroached on both sides, leaving the road ahead only discernible for a few meters as it twisted, serpentlike, around the ancient trees. The Miller Tree Inn in Forks advertises itself as "the home of the Cullens" and much more closely resembles the book version. As far as I can tell, the similarity is a complete accident and Meyer just happened to write a typical 20th century house design that Forks happened to have. The owners of the bed & breakfast had no clue the books even existed until they began getting visitors and a local tour group asked for permission to use them as the jumping-off point for Twilight tours. The owners have gladly embraced the marketing potential of this connection. The films initially used the Hoke House, a radically different modern design by Jeff Kovel of Skylab Architecture in Portland, OR. For New Moon and Eclipse they shot the interiors at a similar house in West Vancouver and shot new footage or reused footage from Hoke House. When filming was moved to Louisiana for Breaking Dawn, they went so far as to disassemble the Vancouver house and transport it to the Louisiana sound stages for filming. quote:“Wow.” While the description is very dull (I really miss Bond when I do these posts), you can tell that Meyer's idea was for a modernist interior that completely clashes with the exterior. The choice of home for the films was likely done for the purpose of matching the interior description, as a plain Victorian house with a modern interior and an entire wall replaced with a giant window would be expensive and look ridiculous. quote:Waiting to greet us, standing just to the left of the door, on a raised portion of the floor by a spectacular grand piano, were Edward’s parents. Esme was played by Elizabeth Reaser, whose largest roles before the films was Saved, a medical drama canceled after one season, and a recurring role as the insane amnesiac Rebecca Pope on Grey's Anatomy. She's almost entirely stuck to TV after the films ended and is currently playing Olivia Winslow on The Handmaid's Tale. quote:“Carlisle, Esme,” Edward’s voice broke the short silence, “this is Bella.” Ahhh, Jasper. People who have been following my threads for the past two years know what's coming (also holy poo poo I've been doing this for years). Jackson Rathbone (distantly related to Basil Rathbone and "Stonewall" Jackson) is a handsome actor and musician who used to be part of the band 100 Monkeys with his high school friends. They achieved minor notability that increased when he was cast as Jasper, and that's where some problems come in. As people who have read my thread on Handbook for Mortals will recall, Lani Sarem was hired out by her agency as the manager for the band at the height of the Twilight fandom. She had become notorious among her prior gigs like Blues Traveler for being eccentric at best and crazy at worst, and her Twilight fangirl came out in the form of an obsession with Rathbone. While nobody has revealed the full story, putting the pieces together indicates that her presence around 100 Monkeys and creepy obsession with the singer was one of the causes of him leaving the band; they would eventually break up in 2012 when Rathbone disallowed them from continuing to use the name without him. Sarem would later turn her laughably poor self-insert film script into a laughably poor book, adding a Twilight-style love triangle and making a thinly veiled Jackson Rathbone the second guy. You can read the thread to find out the details on that nightmare. quote:“Hello, Jasper.” I smiled at him shyly, and then at the others. “It’s nice to meet you all—you have a very beautiful home,” I added conventionally. How could anyone not find you lovable, Bella? quote:Carlisle’s expression distracted me from this train of thought; he was gazing meaningfully at Edward with an intense expression. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Edward nod once. Yeah, she really has always been this awful. quote:Esme noticed my preoccupation. It's easy to tell Meyer's inexperience with just about every subject. She really should have adopted the typical good writer's obsession with research for detail. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5cHD8oYm2M Robert Pattinson really is a pianist (and cellist, and guitarist) and performed this scene himself. He even composed a song himself for them to use in this scene; while they went with another track by Carter Burwell because it matched the soundtrack better, they still released his own recording if you want to give it a listen. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DONnfScqqY0 quote:Edward looked at me casually, the music still surging around us without a break, and winked. Can't imagine why, since they've never once met her or talked to her except Carlisle dealing with her whining at the hospital and a few words with Alice. quote:I glanced behind me, but the huge room was empty now. I guess pulling a Batman is a Cullen family trait. quote:I sighed. “They like me. But Rosalie and Emmett…” I trailed off, not sure how to express my doubts. Again, I would take 4 books about the Cullen family as a whole before I took what we actually got. All of them are so much more interesting and have such a variety of personalities by comparison. quote:“So what was Carlisle telling you before?” More overbearingly protective than you already have been? That may as well be a stay in a dungeon. quote:“What’s wrong?” This is a really loving casual way of dropping the first hints of the plot showing up. quote:I shivered. Does she, though? quote:I let that one pass, looking away, my eyes wandering again around the spacious room. What the gently caress quote:I looked at him questioningly, and he gazed back for a long moment before he finally smiled. I'm struggling to believe that Bella could be so clueless as to be surprised at a vampire being centuries old. quote:He watched me carefully as he spoke. I don't get why this myth keeps getting repeated. They had calendars and clocks in the 1640s. Anyone who ran a business or was educated enough to be able to read would have enough reason to keep up with the news and know what date it is, and a pastor absolutely falls into that category. quote:I kept my face composed, aware of his scrutiny as I listened. It was easier if I didn’t try to believe. There's a major historical error here. The Protestant reformation occurred in the 16th century and the religious wars were long over by the time Carlisle was born. quote:“When the pastor grew old, he placed his obedient son in charge of the raids. At first Carlisle was a disappointment; he was not quick to accuse, to see demons where they did not exist. But he was persistent, and more clever than his father. He actually discovered a coven of true vampires that lived hidden in the sewers of the city, only coming out by night to hunt. In those days, when monsters were not just myths and legends, that was the way many lived. I actually don't think he is? I'm not super familiar with the story but I can't find anything online that indicates the story is different at this point. quote:“Carlisle knew what his father would do. The bodies would be burned—anything infected by the monster must be destroyed. Carlisle acted instinctively to save his own life. He crawled away from the alley while the mob followed the fiend and his victim. He hid in a cellar, buried himself in rotting potatoes for three days. It’s a miracle he was able to keep silent, to stay undiscovered. chitoryu12 fucked around with this message at 00:26 on Jul 20, 2019 |
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# ? Jul 20, 2019 00:07 |