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pantslesswithwolves
Oct 28, 2008

A couple of years ago TFR did a “let’s read” of one of his books and it was like watching a train wreck of bad sex scenes, gratuitous violence and owning the links repeatedly.

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Ugly In The Morning
Jul 1, 2010
Pillbug
Was it TFR that did the let’s read of Unintended Consequences? That book was straight up 90’s right wing militia porn and that thread went to town on it.

Riot Carol Danvers
Jul 30, 2004

It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

Cyrano4747 posted:

If you think Clancy is bad go read some John Ringo.

He makes Clancy look like the love child of William Shakespeare and Karl Marx.

Sorry, I guess it wasn't clear:

All patriot fiction is gutter tier.

Taerkar
Dec 7, 2002

kind of into it, really

They did a number of let's read of Patriot Fiction. It was all so very bad.

And there are sub tiers.

Stravag
Jun 7, 2009

Fragrag posted:

Didn't the terrorist actually build a rapport with the child, the latter not really fearing death because they had a terminal illness.

I dont know if telling a kid with cancer in a wheel chair "we're going to take you back to your mom" before shooting her in the back and letting her wheelchair bounce her down the handicapped ramps live on tv is building rapport but you do you

Edit: from memory those were the only words the guy who gets gutshot said to the kid and he specifically killed her to make more of a message from her dying or something

Stravag fucked around with this message at 18:29 on Feb 14, 2020

MA-Horus
Dec 3, 2006

I'm sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.

Also it's a well known clancy trope that the main characters dig pregnant chicks

Jack Ryan was always getting Cathy knocked up in the books

pantslesswithwolves
Oct 28, 2008

Ugly In The Morning posted:

Was it TFR that did the let’s read of Unintended Consequences? That book was straight up 90’s right wing militia porn and that thread went to town on it.

Yep, that’s it. I’m gonna try to find it and will post it here.

Edit: found it, jesus was that really 11 years ago?

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3054909&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1

pantslesswithwolves fucked around with this message at 19:04 on Feb 14, 2020

shame on an IGA
Apr 8, 2005

Didn't Bear & Dragon literally close on a dick joke

shame on an IGA
Apr 8, 2005

Still nothing in Clancy's oveure can approach the Iceland subplot in Red Storm Rising for peak sexpest

Riot Carol Danvers
Jul 30, 2004

It's super dumb, but I can't stop myself. This is just kind of how I do things.

shame on an IGA posted:

Still nothing in Clancy's oveure can approach the Iceland subplot in Red Storm Rising for peak sexpest

What?

Flikken
Oct 23, 2009

10,363 snaps and not a playoff win to show for it

Mary Sue lusts after recently raped pregnant victim

priznat
Jul 7, 2009

Let's get drunk and kiss each other all night.

MA-Horus posted:

Also it's a well known clancy trope that the main characters dig pregnant chicks

Jack Ryan was always getting Cathy knocked up in the books

Only in hotels though! “Those foreign beds!” No idea what’s up with that.

Stupid_Sexy_Flander
Mar 14, 2007

Is a man not entitled to the haw of his maw?
Grimey Drawer
Was that the one where the terrists took over a mall or something so the main character kills em, runs to a sports store and grabs a football, and then runs back to one of the dying terrists to put it in his hands and therefore he's not going to heaven cause he's touching pigskin?

Which, they haven't been made of pigskin in literal decades but what the hell, it's played entirely serious.

Thomamelas
Mar 11, 2009

Cyrano4747 posted:

If you think Clancy is bad go read some John Ringo.

He makes Clancy look like the love child of William Shakespeare and Karl Marx.

There is a John Ringo novel in which he says in the foreword that he didn't feel it should be published but Jim Baen really wanted it to be. It's not often I find myself agreeing with John Ringo but in this case we agree.

egyptian rat race
Jul 13, 2007

Lowtax Spine Fund 2019
Ultra Carp
My favorite Jack Ryan moment is when he foils a terrorist plot to murder some royals by tackling the bad guy and getting shot. The prince of Wales is a huge messy bitch about nothing and ashamed he didn't take action himself. Jack Ryan does a "man up" speech and then maybe gets knighted but the best bit is how long and hard Clancy jerks off to the procedural aspect of whether or not a US citizen can hold such a title.

I learned that Clancy fans still argue about this earnestly as I did the bare minimum of fact checking for this post

CainFortea
Oct 15, 2004


I mean ringo had the 13 year old (who looks 18) and had posters up all over the army base town with her picture listed as "Jailbait" and a grandpa who would use his double barrel to scare off soldiers who come sniffing around.

Casimir Radon
Aug 2, 2008


egyptian rat race posted:

My favorite Jack Ryan moment is when he foils a terrorist plot to murder some royals by tackling the bad guy and getting shot. The prince of Wales is a huge messy bitch about nothing and ashamed he didn't take action himself. Jack Ryan does a "man up" speech and then maybe gets knighted but the best bit is how long and hard Clancy jerks off to the procedural aspect of whether or not a US citizen can hold such a title.

I learned that Clancy fans still argue about this earnestly as I did the bare minimum of fact checking for this post
Pretty sure they were explicitly supposed to be Charles and Diana, and were depicted as having a happy marriage. HA!

A few years back I figured I'd grab a Clancy book of Audible. Don't remember what it was but Clark and Chavez capture not-Gadhaffi, and then it devolved into a bunch of boring as poo poo Clancy Jack Ryan stockbroker poo poo. At which point I got insanely bored and stopped listening.

Casimir Radon fucked around with this message at 20:23 on Feb 14, 2020

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010

The "best" Clancy novel is the one with the Barometric chamber interrogation, where he kept giving the guy the Bends to get answers. Without Remorse? I think.

Shooting Blanks
Jun 6, 2007

Real bullets mess up how cool this thing looks.

-Blade



My favorite Clancy-verse item is now a "truth is stranger than fiction" piece where Jack Ryan becomes president after running a large hedge fund. He literally says "If I ran my business the way this government is run, I wouldn't have a business!" Then he proceeded to lower taxes on the rich.

Godholio
Aug 28, 2002

Does a bear split in the woods near Zheleznogorsk?

MA-Horus posted:

Also it's a well known clancy trope that the main characters dig pregnant chicks

Jack Ryan was always getting Cathy knocked up in the books

He was an Irish-American Catholic. That's accurate af.

PookBear
Nov 1, 2008

does anyone have any stories about travel cards/charge cards etc?

Tunicate
May 15, 2012

I started reading some clancy novel when i was in HS and all i remember was

A) the protagonist got hit by a car in England because traffic moves the other eay and he did a right-left-right check instead of left-right-left

B) the villain used the fish antibiotics lifehack to get himself lifesaving medication without a peracription

Khizan
Jul 30, 2013


bulletsponge13 posted:

The "best" Clancy novel is the one with the Barometric chamber interrogation, where he kept giving the guy the Bends to get answers. Without Remorse? I think.

That's the only half decent one, because it is a straight up revenge story right out of an 80s action movie. Drug dealers kill a Navy seal's girlfriend and he goes on a ludicrous murder spree in retaliation.

Memento
Aug 25, 2009


Bleak Gremlin

pantslesswithwolves posted:

Yep, that’s it. I’m gonna try to find it and will post it here.

Edit: found it, jesus was that really 11 years ago?

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3054909&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1

Four posts down on page 35, poo poo gets real

A Bad Poster
Sep 25, 2006
Seriously, shut the fuck up.

:dukedog:

Memento posted:

Four posts down on page 35, poo poo gets real

Holy poo poo, you aren't kidding.

stealie72
Jan 10, 2007

Casimir Radon posted:

a Clancy book of Audible.
I cant imagine reading even his comparatively good stuff without the ability to skip 3 pages ahead and avoid some lame subplot.

HelleSpud
Apr 1, 2010
OH JOHN RINGO NO https://hradzka.livejournal.com/194753.html

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010

Khizan posted:

That's the only half decent one, because it is a straight up revenge story right out of an 80s action movie. Drug dealers kill a Navy seal's girlfriend and he goes on a ludicrous murder spree in retaliation.

Prostitute GF. His magic dick got her away from the life, IIRC. I do recall a major plot point being her former occupation.

McNally
Sep 13, 2007

Ask me about Proposition 305


Do you like muskets?

bulletsponge13 posted:

Prostitute GF. His magic dick got her away from the life, IIRC. I do recall a major plot point being her former occupation.

I thought they met after she ran away but this is something I'd be willing to be wrong about because it means it's no longer taking up space in my head.

BIG HEADLINE
Jun 13, 2006

"Stand back, Ottawan ruffian, or face my lumens!"

Godholio posted:

He was an Irish-American Catholic. That's accurate af.

Which makes it funnier in the Harrison Ford movies because Anne Archer is a *fervent* Scientologist.

DarkDobe
Jul 11, 2008

Things are looking up...

Khizan posted:

That's the only half decent one, because it is a straight up revenge story right out of an 80s action movie. Drug dealers kill a Navy seal's girlfriend and he goes on a ludicrous murder spree in retaliation.

I had to look and we're getting a movie this year.
... Yay?

shame on an IGA
Apr 8, 2005

I'll believe it when it's in the can, that movie has been coming out this year for 27 years in a row

bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010

McNally posted:

I thought they met after she ran away but this is something I'd be willing to be wrong about because it means it's no longer taking up space in my head.

She ran away from the bad guys, he rescued her, they boned, and she immediately fell in love with him before being shot in the head(?) at a red light.

maffew buildings
Apr 29, 2009

too dumb to be probated; not too dumb to be autobanned
Clancy really didn't shy from putting out there how he felt about women through his work. Didn't get my head around it when I was 12 apparently.

BIG HEADLINE
Jun 13, 2006

"Stand back, Ottawan ruffian, or face my lumens!"

bulletsponge13 posted:

She ran away from the bad guys, he rescued her, they boned, and she immediately fell in love with him before being shot in the head(?) at a red light.

Blatant ripoff of Tracy Bond.

:swoon: Diana Rigg.

MrUnderbridge
Jun 25, 2011

Yeah, Cardinal in the Kremlin had the world's worst lesbian. Started me thinking, maybe this guy's not that good a writer? Further reading confirmed it.

Syrian Lannister
Aug 25, 2007

Oh, did I kill him too?
I've been a very busy little man.


Sugartime Jones

Stupid_Sexy_Flander posted:

Was that the one where the terrists took over a mall or something so the main character kills em, runs to a sports store and grabs a football, and then runs back to one of the dying terrists to put it in his hands and therefore he's not going to heaven cause he's touching pigskin?

Which, they haven't been made of pigskin in literal decades but what the hell, it's played entirely serious.

Teeth of the Tiger, its Ryan's son iirc

Casimir Radon
Aug 2, 2008


Stupid_Sexy_Flander posted:

Was that the one where the terrists took over a mall or something so the main character kills em, runs to a sports store and grabs a football, and then runs back to one of the dying terrists to put it in his hands and therefore he's not going to heaven cause he's touching pigskin?

Which, they haven't been made of pigskin in literal decades but what the hell, it's played entirely serious.
Muslims can touch and even consume pork products under duress. Always funny when Christians act like someone else's religion is stupid.

Crab Dad
Dec 28, 2002

behold i have tempered and refined thee, but not as silver; as CRAB


45 ACP CURES NAZIS posted:

does anyone have any stories about travel cards/charge cards etc?

In 2016 I used my travel card to pay for my hotel but didn’t realize I was supposed to renegotiate my bill down my 25% after 90 days and at the end of my 180 orders I owed 4K due to that and not calculating my correct per diem that was also reduced by 25%.

Sorry it’s not more exciting. They changed that back in 2018.

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bulletsponge13
Apr 28, 2010

Casimir Radon posted:

Muslims can touch and even consume pork products under duress. Always funny when Christians act like someone else's religion is stupid.

I pointed this out to a dumb grunt back in 03 who was trying to save all the pork MREs for our detainees. He seemed really disappointed that he couldn't send one to hell with a Jamaican Pork Chop.


E- I have no clue if it still this way, but back about 8-10 years ago, the Army required everyone to physical credit cards to keep on hand for travel on orders and what not. My unit told everyone to expect one in the mail, read the documents enclosed blah blah blah. This was followed by a brief that said it was ok to use it for whatever you want, just be sure to pay it off within 30 days. I immediately shredded mine, but didn't hear any good tales. But that "go ahead and use it for whatever!" Had to have led to something fun that I missed out on.

bulletsponge13 fucked around with this message at 01:50 on Feb 15, 2020

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