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I. M. Gei
Jun 26, 2005

CHIEFS

BITCH



Hi Cat Thread!

I need cat repellant for a garden and I need it RIGHT GODDAMN NOW!!

What are some good cat repellants? Not sure if it matters, but the cats in question are feral......... long story.

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Vivian Darkbloom
Jul 14, 2004


Blackchamber posted:

I wish my apartment would allow more than patio furniture, or I would build a catio for mine. I feel the same way though, I spend a ton of time worrying about my cats being bored which has led me to buying tons of toys including that wheel they only scratch on instead of running and recently inspired by youtube 'for cats videos' like $300 on aquarium/fish/accessories. Enrichment I think its called. They actually REALLY enjoy the fish tank though so worth it imo and its something I've wanted to do for a while.

I think we care because we look at their lives and think "I'd be bored if I was them" even if they might not actually be bored. Actually being able to lay around all day and have all my needs taken care of by your butler seems pretty ideal.

Pets are really good at killing a lot of time, both by sleeping a lot and hanging around staring into space. I used to live in a house with a bunch of students and their cats and dogs hanging out, and Terry was more active but still spent a lot of time snoozing in my room. I do think he enjoyed patrolling the backyard and fences though, and there's not much I can do about that in this apartment.

yellowyams
Jan 15, 2011
Is it a terrible idea to get a cat next month if I'm planning to move somewhere much smaller within a year or two? I was originally going to wait on it after how painful it was losing Bella, my sweet kitty of 20 years recently but it turns out not having anything to care about or take care of is unbearable and I don't think I can last a whole year like this. But at the same time, I would be devastated if the new cat couldn't adapt to a smaller space after getting used to a bigger one and was never as happy again. Is there any way to avoid this? I was planning to get a second cat after the move to help the first cat stave off boredom but that brings me to my next question, is there any way to ensure that a cat will be chill with other cats if they're going to be the only cat for a while? I know it would be easier to just get a bonded pair now which is what I want to do but I'm not living alone until the move so that's not really an option.

Apologies if these are dumb questions, I was in elementary school when my family got Bella so I have basically no experience with adoption. And this is maybe the dumbest question but uh how do you pick? Do you go to a shelter and they let you spend time with a cat and decide, or do you just look at pictures they show you or do they just pick one for you or what? How do I make sure my cat and I are a good fit for each other?

seiferguy
Jun 9, 2005

FLAWED
INTUITION



Toilet Rascal
My cat groomer posts pics of every cat he grooms and mine is clearly just doing it for the likes:

Antivehicular
Dec 30, 2011


I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

yellowyams posted:

Apologies if these are dumb questions, I was in elementary school when my family got Bella so I have basically no experience with adoption. And this is maybe the dumbest question but uh how do you pick? Do you go to a shelter and they let you spend time with a cat and decide, or do you just look at pictures they show you or do they just pick one for you or what? How do I make sure my cat and I are a good fit for each other?

Every shelter is different, but in my experience, you'll fill out an application/questionnaire, and then you'll be able to hang out with the cats or request to meet a specific one (if you've looked at their website beforehand). Bigger shelters will generally have "colony rooms," larger rooms where multiple cats live and where people can hang out, play with them, and generally get to know the cats. I'd also advise you to talk to the shelter staff extensively, since they'll be able to answer a lot of questions about the cats' temperament and how they might handle the move you're talking about, and in my experience they'll be very happy to answer questions and make sure you find a cat who's a good fit. Definitely both visit with cats and talk to the staff.

In terms of adopting one cat now and getting a second later: unfortunately, this is kind of a crapshoot. The shelter can definitely guide you towards a cat who's cool with other cats, and most cats will eventually be able to coexist over time, but introducing two non-bonded adult cats (or an adult cat and a kitten) can be a lengthy process and may not create a bond. If you want two cats to bond to each other, I'd advise you to try and get a bonded pair if there's any way you can make it work with your housing situation.

Sarern
Nov 4, 2008

:toot:
Won't you take me to
Bomertown?
Won't you take me to
BONERTOWN?

:toot:

yellowyams posted:

Is it a terrible idea to get a cat next month if I'm planning to move somewhere much smaller within a year or two? I was originally going to wait on it after how painful it was losing Bella, my sweet kitty of 20 years recently but it turns out not having anything to care about or take care of is unbearable and I don't think I can last a whole year like this. But at the same time, I would be devastated if the new cat couldn't adapt to a smaller space after getting used to a bigger one and was never as happy again. Is there any way to avoid this? I was planning to get a second cat after the move to help the first cat stave off boredom but that brings me to my next question, is there any way to ensure that a cat will be chill with other cats if they're going to be the only cat for a while? I know it would be easier to just get a bonded pair now which is what I want to do but I'm not living alone until the move so that's not really an option.

Apologies if these are dumb questions, I was in elementary school when my family got Bella so I have basically no experience with adoption. And this is maybe the dumbest question but uh how do you pick? Do you go to a shelter and they let you spend time with a cat and decide, or do you just look at pictures they show you or do they just pick one for you or what? How do I make sure my cat and I are a good fit for each other?

I would suggest getting two at once, ideally a bonded pair. I got two at the same time and it helped a ton because there were no territory issues. They were not bonded at the time but got along fine at the shelter. Having two is much better than having one: they play with eachother so well that they don't even like to play with me very much! If your apartment only allows one cat you may want to wait until you move.

kw0134
Apr 19, 2003

I buy feet pics🍆

Introductions are easier when you have the space to do it. If you're going to a "much smaller space" it'd be better to if at all possible to get your bonded pair now because any introductions may not be safe or conducive if you don't have the ability to separate the newcomer from your extant cat. I know you said it's really not possible but if you have your heart set on two cats then I would highly, highly recommend making the jump now so you know you have two cats who like each other as opposed to trying to get one cat who's already a little distressed by moving and further disrupting their life with a new roommate. If you're moving from a McMansion into a 1000 sq ft condo, then you can disregard, but if your next space is a NYC studio the size of a matchbook, then you'll have to consider that two cats not already acquainted will be tricky to integrate in a small space.

my cat is norris
Mar 11, 2010

#onecallcat

In my experience, enrichment matters much more than space. Even if your next apartment is half the size of your current, your cat will be fine so long as you have ways of keeping them entertained.

Len
Jan 21, 2008

Pouches, bandages, shoulderpad, cyber-eye...

Bitchin'!


Fiancee is officially out of a job for at least two weeks, probably longer

This is going to really gently caress with the walnut brains and they're going to be confused, clingy, and obnoxious as gently caress

Bootcha
Nov 13, 2012

Truly, the pinnacle of goaltending
Grimey Drawer

I. M. Gei posted:

Hi Cat Thread!

I need cat repellant for a garden and I need it RIGHT GODDAMN NOW!!

What are some good cat repellants? Not sure if it matters, but the cats in question are feral......... long story.

Start with strong lemon-y scents. Citronella misquito plants for the stuff you want to protect, lemongrass to lure them away from those plants.

seiferguy
Jun 9, 2005

FLAWED
INTUITION



Toilet Rascal

Len posted:

Fiancee is officially out of a job for at least two weeks, probably longer

This is going to really gently caress with the walnut brains and they're going to be confused, clingy, and obnoxious as gently caress

I legit have no idea this month of WFH is doing to my cat, having me around all the time. I don't know what's gonna happen when I start going to work again.

InvisibleMonkey
Jun 4, 2004


Hey, girl.
We've been working from home for a little over a week and it's been interesting. At first Katya wanted more attention than usual because "You're HERE, aren't you??" but as long as we stick to her regular schedule she seems to be getting used to it. Aside from the occasional cranky one-eyed stare when we disturb her slumber by you know, existing during the day.


At least spring is coming and with us having nowhere else to go she gets to hang out in the backyard with us.

Leal
Oct 2, 2009



Unfortunately he has started yowling constantly and the vets are closed :gonk:

Shroomie
Jul 31, 2008

I've been home since Tuesday. If anything the cats seem less clingy because they're spreading it out, but I know they're getting their fill because they don't howl and scratch at the bedroom door when I shut them out to go to sleep.

I suppose they're also more chill because I can feed them in consistent 12-hour intervals now instead of some days it being 8 hours and others 14 and so on due to my inconsistent work schedule.

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.
This is our...13th consecutive day of lockdown? The girls love it! We'll have to work from home forever.

Boris Galerkin
Dec 17, 2011

I don't understand why I can't harass people online. Seriously, somebody please explain why I shouldn't be allowed to stalk others on social media!
I think I'm in way over my head now and I don't know what to do.

A friend of mine needed to give away her cat ASAP, so now I have her cat. Molly is 2 years old, female, and spayed. I'm told she's a cuddly lap cat. Her stuff is set up in my bedroom where she hides under my bed all day. She completely ignores me, but she eats and poops so I'm not worried. I leave my bedroom door open now and she comes out in the evenings to look around, but she doesn't stay and sneaks around everywhere, walking on eggshells around me. All the treats I leave hidden around overnight get eaten. I honestly have no idea what she looks like because I hardly ever see her and its too dark under my bed, and I haven't touched her since the day I got her.

From what I can tell, she sleeps during the entire day and I start hearing her collar/bell around 5 PM when she eats the dry food I leave out for her next to my bed. If I set out snacks for her then she ignores them but will eat them after I leave my room (or when I'm "sleeping").

I understand that she's terrified of moving and of me still. Now that I know she eats the next step I thought was to get her to associate me with food. So now instead of filling her food and leaving her alone, I come in around 5 PM (when she usually eats) and set her food down and then futz around on the other side of the room, hoping that she comes out to eat with me in view. I wait like an hour and she doesn't bite, so I take the food away and try again later. Eventually it's bedtime for me and I don't want her to starve so I leave her food out and then it gets eaten overnight. Should I just stop leaving food out overnight as well?

So that's Molly.

I've also been posting about a semi-feral cat that I started feeding for some weeks. She comes over everyday now and eats and hangs out with me in the living room. She likes to jump up on the sofa with me and sleep like a human while I watch TV or work on my laptop. I'm calling her Ruthie for now because the first time she ever jumped on my lap was when I turned on BoJack Horseman.



She is adorable, loves to be picked up, and I feel really attached to her because I've been taking care of her and the thought of gaining her trust and acceptance like this makes me so happy. I also found out where she lives (under a shipping container in a lot nearby) and I can walk there and call her and she'll come out running towards me. I looked through my old messages and found a mention of me seeing a stray orange kitten near my apartment in 2018, so I'm just going to say she's 1 year and 5 months old. She isn't microchipped and I assume isn't spayed either.

Last night Ruthie was laying on my lap in the living room letting me pet her while I watched TV. I completely forgot about Molly since I never interact with her and she came out to explore. She saw Ruthie but didn't seem bothered. Ruthie saw her after a while and started growling and her claws came out. She tried to jump off of me towards her but I held onto her and then Molly ran away scared. After that I calmed Ruthie down and booted her outside. This morning I saw her sitting in my patio waiting for me and it broke me heart that I had to pretend like I didn't see her. Molly went out to the living room overnight and found all the treats I hid around again so at least I know she's not afraid to leave my room.

… so that's Ruthie.

So now I feel like I'm in completely over my head and don't know what to do. I took in Molly because she needed a new home asap. I have absolutely no connection to her (yet) but she is officially mine and I promised to give her a good home. She can't go back to her old home anymore. Ruthie on the other hand, I absolutely adore and love her and I already consider her mine.

I would love to keep both cats (turning Ruthie into an indoor house cat as well) but if I had to choose I would honestly choose Ruthie over Molly because our relationship is non-existent, but I already took her in and I should at least try instead of giving up after a week.

So what can I do? How do I manage this? Ruthie can at least live and survive outdoors so I can keep taking care of her, but I don't feel like I can let her inside anymore and that really breaks my heart. Also, Ruthie doesn't know how to use a litter box so I'd need to keep her in a room until she figures it out, but the only cat safe room with a closable door is my bedroom and Molly is there. I can't use my bathroom. I could maybe cordon off my living room for just Ruthie, but I'm assuming it's not as easy as getting a doggy gate to place across the hallway since they jump so high. Plus, I want Molly to feel at home in the living room and spend time there with me so blocking her access seems counterproductive.

On an unrelated note, there are paw prints all over the sticky tape I left on my cooking surfaces. They are in all directions so it's obvious Molly jumped up there and walked around on top of the tape. I've been lied to about the effectiveness of tape :argh:

e:

Molly can't go back to her old home because her old owner is no longer in the country. I have a Feliway Classic diffusor in my bedroom for Molly but honestly I don't know if it makes any difference. I was considering getting a Feliway multi-cat diffusor to plug into my living room as it's the only room Ruthie is ever in (she has never wandered out of there ever). Molly’s old owner said she’s fine with other cats, and last night Ruthie was clearly the agressor. I see her with other cats occasionally though, so I’m assuming she thinks the living room is her territory and didn’t like seeing another cat in it.

Boris Galerkin fucked around with this message at 13:06 on Mar 23, 2020

kw0134
Apr 19, 2003

I buy feet pics🍆

This is salvageable. How big is your home? Can you keep both cats in two different portions of the home for a bit and still feed them/litterbox/play with them on their own? Keep Molly where she is, but close the door. (She likely is a little scared from her big move anyway. Smaller spaces are more comforting to cats at least while they're adjusting.) Giver her own litterbox. Take Ruthie and stick her in another portion of the home away from Molly. Give her the same stuff. Follow the guide in the OP for letting two cats meet. If you have the space you can take as long as you want, and eventually the cats will get used to the scent of another cat. It sounds like you'll need to give it the extended acclimation process; feed them both at the same closed door, let them sniff at clothing/blankets/towels they sleep on so that the other's scent stops being unfamiliar. Then let them interact for small amounts of time through a transparent barrier, then supervised meetings that you can easily separate them. (Etc., it's in the OP.)

Molly needs time to adjust to you. Eventually she'll stop being scared. Ruthie needs to learn to stay indoors, and to accept the presence of Molly. All this will require time and space and patience. I started with a pair of kittens from an abandoned litter, on a whim took in a co-worker's cat and it was kind of a steep learning curve for all involved. Thankfully I had the space to be able to give the co-worker's cat a room to himself while the pair became acclimated to him. One sibling doesn't like him still, nearly two years since they've been moved in, but thems the breaks. But cats this young can and will learn to adjust. Don't panic, play with Ruthie as you do, and let Molly come to you as she feels bolder. Just do it separately for a while.

Boris Galerkin
Dec 17, 2011

I don't understand why I can't harass people online. Seriously, somebody please explain why I shouldn't be allowed to stalk others on social media!
I read all that about introducing two cats but I didn’t do it that way because I honestly forget that Molly exists at all until I hear her bell in the evening. Like I’ll go in my room occasionally to talk to her, leave a treat for her, but she just moves to a different spot under my bed where I can’t see her anymore. I didn’t intend for them two to meet last night.

And as for space, I only have two closable rooms in my apartment: my bedroom and the bathroom. I can’t use the bathroom, and Molly is already comfortable in my bedroom. My living room is on the other end of the bedroom and Ruthie never leaves it, but there’s no way to confine her there unless I build a wall in my hallway and even then they will probably be able to jump over it.

kw0134
Apr 19, 2003

I buy feet pics🍆

If you can shut the door to the bedroom and close it from the rest of the home, that should be fine. You'll have to live with a litterbox in your bedroom for a bit. Give Ruthie the living room, put the cat food at the bedroom door and let Ruthie acclimate to a new cat. Bonus: as Molly is forced to be with you in close proximity for longer, she should be more outgoing in time. My friend's cat is super super skittish, hates strangers but eventually warmed up to me simply by habit. Likely that'll happen to Molly once she starts becoming comfortable.

If you can't do that, then you can jury-rig baby gates to sequester Ruthie. You may need to stack two of them on top of the other, but ideally this again is temporary.

If you really really really can't handle both cats, then whom you keep is your decision, and the other should go to a no kill shelter. Sometimes life doesn't work out the way we had planned, but you effectively have had a cat and it's unfair to you to be held to a spur-of-the-moment thing without recourse.

Boris Galerkin
Dec 17, 2011

I don't understand why I can't harass people online. Seriously, somebody please explain why I shouldn't be allowed to stalk others on social media!
I already have Molly in my room and slept there with her for a few days before letting her wander around. It’s been a week or so and I still have no interaction with her. I can’t really feed her or give her treats in a way that she’d recognize it as a reward because she just completely ignores me. Everything I leave out for her, she doesn’t touch it or even show any interest in it until I leave so I’m worried that she’s learning that food just shows up when the big bad man leaves. I’d hate to re-confine her into my bedroom again now that she feels safe exploring at night.

Molly might have already gotten familiar with Ruthie’s scent now that I think about it since my dirty clothes are in my room and they are probably all covered with Ruthie’s scents. I also left snacks next to the areas I’ve seen Ruthie rub her head against to see if Molly would get close enough to eat them and she does. I don’t have anything with Molly’s scent to give to Ruthie though. She just lays there, on the floor, under my bed, all day long. I have some cat beds in my room but Molly doesn’t use them. I tried sliding one under my bed for her but she hissed at me and the snacks I left on the bed were uneaten for days before I threw it out. I’m getting the feeling that she doesn’t want anything she sees coming from me, like her cat bed with a treat on it (that she otherwise eats if she finds it in the room).

Boris Galerkin fucked around with this message at 14:13 on Mar 23, 2020

Boris Galerkin
Dec 17, 2011

I don't understand why I can't harass people online. Seriously, somebody please explain why I shouldn't be allowed to stalk others on social media!
I think I’m just going to make a makeshift barrier with cardboard in the hall. It won’t prevent them from crossing, but Molly sleeps during the day anyway and Ruthie doesn’t leave the living room, so it’s just there so that Molly can still leave my room without either of them accidentally seeing each other. I’ll just boot Ruthie out towards the evening when Molly is awake so that she can explore the living room with me in there. In the meantime, I think I’ll try that multi cat thing in the living room to help Ruthie out.

If Molly can get used to me and stop hiding then I could boot her into my living room and keep Ruthie in my bedroom. That might even be better to keep Ruthie away from the patio doors.

Boogalo
Jul 8, 2012

Meep Meep




If they're not crossing the house with the sole purpose of attacking each other I think you're in good shape just keeping them separated a bit better and then supervised roaming until things are calmer. Even if they fight a little thats ok as long as the fray stops quickly on its own and there's no injuries.

Boogalo fucked around with this message at 14:58 on Mar 23, 2020

InvisibleMonkey
Jun 4, 2004


Hey, girl.
Cats don't usually adjust to big changes in a week, depending on the cat it can take a long rear end time. Make sure Molly has everything she needs regardless of when she wants to come out, don't take away her food if she's too scared to come out, that's going to be counter-productive.

Just go about your business and maybe have a quiet lie-down on the floor with your phone or a book every now and again, if you want to appear less threatening.

Boogalo posted:

I've they're not crossing the house with the sole purpose of attacking each other I think you're in good shape just keeping them separated a bit better and then supervised roaming until things are calmer. Even if they fight a little thats ok as long as the fray stops quickly on its own and there's no injuries.

And this. One or both is going to be upset for a while and that's fine, let them hash it out under supervision for short times as long as there's no blood.

Organza Quiz
Nov 7, 2009


Boris Galerkin posted:

I already have Molly in my room and slept there with her for a few days before letting her wander around. It’s been a week or so and I still have no interaction with her. I can’t really feed her or give her treats in a way that she’d recognize it as a reward because she just completely ignores me. Everything I leave out for her, she doesn’t touch it or even show any interest in it until I leave so I’m worried that she’s learning that food just shows up when the big bad man leaves. I’d hate to re-confine her into my bedroom again now that she feels safe exploring at night.

Just because she's exploring doesn't mean she's actually happy about the amount of space she has access to, and she might still appreciate having less space to worry about, especially if there's a strange cat in the rest of the house. Don't worry too much about giving her treats, just exist in the same space as her and she will get used to you eventually.

It can be really hard not to take it personally, I remember from when I had to spend months gaining a super dumb/anxious cat's trust by just being in the same room as her, but just try to remember that you are a huge scary giant and her whole world just turned upside down so it might take a really long time for her to work out that you're okay actually.

Do you know if she's particularly playful? One thing that helped me with Peridot was playing with a laser pointer with her - it's just about the least threatening toy possible since there's no big scary stick in your hand or anything and you can be all the way across the room from her to play with it. I'm not sure if it helped her get used to my presence faster but it certainly made me feel better to have some actual positive interaction with her!

Boris Galerkin
Dec 17, 2011

I don't understand why I can't harass people online. Seriously, somebody please explain why I shouldn't be allowed to stalk others on social media!
But should I let them hash it out now? The way I see it, Molly is already terrified and stressed of (1) moving into a new place, (2) living with a giant she doesn’t know, and now (3) finding a cat that nearly lunged at her (I am really happy that I didn’t change out of my jeans because when she growled her claws came out and poked me through my jeans and a blanket) inside the apartment that she thought was a safe space. Is it really a good idea to add another stressor to the list? Cause as much as I love Ruthie, she is surviving living outdoors so bringing her inside could wait, as much as I don’t want to.

InvisibleMonkey posted:

Cats don't usually adjust to big changes in a week, depending on the cat it can take a long rear end time. Make sure Molly has everything she needs regardless of when she wants to come out, don't take away her food if she's too scared to come out, that's going to be counter-productive.

Just go about your business and maybe have a quiet lie-down on the floor with your phone or a book every now and again, if you want to appear less threatening.

Molly has everything… toys, balls, scratching posts, cardboard boxes, etc. She doesn’t touch any of them as far as I’m aware. I can lay out her toys and take a photo of how it’s all arranged and 24 hours later it’s in the exact same arrangement. I’ve even put some balls directly in her path to leave my room so that she’d have to interact with it but no, it’s in the exact same position as I left it every time.

I go in my room and lay down on the floor and play with my phone and talk out loud but with her hiding spot she can’t see me and I can’t see her. I’m just a voice without a body. I would love to close up access underneath my bed but I can’t because she never leaves when I’m awake. I don’t want to force her out to block it off because that’ll probably make everything worse.

Boris Galerkin fucked around with this message at 15:01 on Mar 23, 2020

Boris Galerkin
Dec 17, 2011

I don't understand why I can't harass people online. Seriously, somebody please explain why I shouldn't be allowed to stalk others on social media!

Organza Quiz posted:

Just because she's exploring doesn't mean she's actually happy about the amount of space she has access to, and she might still appreciate having less space to worry about, especially if there's a strange cat in the rest of the house. Don't worry too much about giving her treats, just exist in the same space as her and she will get used to you eventually.

It can be really hard not to take it personally, I remember from when I had to spend months gaining a super dumb/anxious cat's trust by just being in the same room as her, but just try to remember that you are a huge scary giant and her whole world just turned upside down so it might take a really long time for her to work out that you're okay actually.

Do you know if she's particularly playful? One thing that helped me with Peridot was playing with a laser pointer with her - it's just about the least threatening toy possible since there's no big scary stick in your hand or anything and you can be all the way across the room from her to play with it. I'm not sure if it helped her get used to my presence faster but it certainly made me feel better to have some actual positive interaction with her!

I can give it another shot and confine her back into my bedroom but for how long? She already doesn’t play with any of her toys (see previous post) and I feel bad locking her inside the room.

I don’t have a laser pointer but I could get one, but either way her hiding spot is completely inaccessible and neither of us can see each other when she’s in there. The only times I have ever seen her lately is when she comes out into the living room and I have to pretend like I don’t notice her or else she runs off.

Organza Quiz
Nov 7, 2009


Boris Galerkin posted:

But should I let them hash it out now? The way I see it, Molly is already terrified and stressed of (1) moving into a new place, (2) living with a giant she doesn’t know, and now (3) finding a cat that nearly lunged at her (I am really happy that I didn’t change out of my jeans because when she growled her claws came out and poked me through my jeans and a blanket) inside the apartment that she thought was a safe space. Is it really a good idea to add another stressor to the list? Cause as much as I love Ruthie, she is surviving living outdoors so bringing her inside could wait, as much as I don’t want to.


Molly has everything… toys, balls, scratching posts, cardboard boxes, etc. She doesn’t touch any of them as far as I’m aware. I can lay out her toys and take a photo of how it’s all arranged and 24 hours later it’s in the exact same arrangement. I’ve even put some balls directly in her path to leave my room so that she’d have to interact with it but no, it’s in the exact same position as I left it every time.

I go in my room and lay down on the floor and play with my phone and talk out loud but with her hiding spot she can’t see me and I can’t see her. I’m just a voice without a body. I would love to close up access underneath my bed but I can’t because she never leaves when I’m awake. I don’t want to force her out to block it off because that’ll probably make everything worse.

I'm on team "keep them separated for now" but I can see the argument for letting them hash it out too. Don't worry that she's not touching anything, leave it anyway and eventually she will touch stuff. Cats love routine and stability and for things to be the same, having the same objects in the same places is good for her. If you read this thread regularly think of all the times people have bought heated cat beds or whatever and the cat hasn't used it for a year and then suddenly lives there.

Laying down and existing and talking is good, keep doing that. Don't worry about whether she can see you or not, she'll know you're there. You're just getting her used to your voice and your scent and your presence, it's all good.

kw0134
Apr 19, 2003

I buy feet pics🍆

The absolutely best thing to do with a cat like Molly is to keep her world small and let her get more comfortable with that space. Let her make it her own and as she graduates to being familiar with you and her new home then you can expand her universe. It's fine, she's a cat and the most important thing is to make her feel secure, which they do by hiding in the tiniest space they can fit into until they think it's okay. My skittish new boy spent the first four days under the bed before I could coax him into a spare bedroom and he spent like another week getting used to that space. He started playing with the other cats under the door on day eight and finally got okay with going downstairs after nearly two weeks. It's not anything you're doing, it's the nature of cats.

As I've advocated, keep them separated. Let Ruthie figure out there's a cat she's gonna have to tolerate in her own time while Molly isn't scared of her own shadow.

Sarern
Nov 4, 2008

:toot:
Won't you take me to
Bomertown?
Won't you take me to
BONERTOWN?

:toot:
Cats have brains the size of a walnut and I've found they take a while to adjust to anything, but they do adjust. Taking it slow will help, as others have said.

Boris Galerkin
Dec 17, 2011

I don't understand why I can't harass people online. Seriously, somebody please explain why I shouldn't be allowed to stalk others on social media!
Ok, I’ll close the door again so she can’t leave my room. I can’t sit in here all day so how often should I come back? I am working from home now so I can check in on her as often as I should be, whatever that is.

Do I just keep her in here until she comes out with me in the room? What if that takes like a month? Am I really suppose to lock her inside my room for a month?

Boogalo
Jul 8, 2012

Meep Meep




Boris Galerkin posted:

Ok, I’ll close the door again so she can’t leave my room. I can’t sit in here all day so how often should I come back? I am working from home now so I can check in on her as often as I should be, whatever that is.

Do I just keep her in here until she comes out with me in the room? What if that takes like a month? Am I really suppose to lock her inside my room for a month?

My idiots stayed separated for 6 months. 4 of that was one closed in her room and she was fine. The shelter is better than outside, bathroom is better than a shelter cage, a bedroom is better than a bathroom, etc. Its not forever, but I also know folks who have a cat that just lives in a room and is happy. Visit whenever you can and yeah try to play and once she's comfortable coming out to check you out it'll be a good time to consider opening up more exploration. One thing that might be good to do is fill in or cut off truly invisible hiding spots. cubbies and the like are ok but hiding spots should be visible so you can always see each other.

Boris Galerkin
Dec 17, 2011

I don't understand why I can't harass people online. Seriously, somebody please explain why I shouldn't be allowed to stalk others on social media!
I just set up my iPad as a pet cam in a pinch and left my room and shut the door. Molly came out to use the litter box immediately after I left. 😕

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.

Boris Galerkin posted:

I just set up my iPad as a pet cam in a pinch and left my room and shut the door. Molly came out to use the litter box immediately after I left. 😕

That's okay!!! Some cats are like that!

I know this is so hard, but you're actually doing well. <3

e: we kept Aleta and Luna separate for almost a month, but part of that is just that Luna was horrified at her existence (also everyone's existence, including her own) and wouldn't go near her.

kw0134
Apr 19, 2003

I buy feet pics🍆

Cats need to approach you. She'll get used to you, you can't rush it or take it personally. It might be easier when she's in her current state to absolutely ignore her as much as possible, because for a mesopredator who is preyed upon as much as it preys on smaller creatures, attention she doesn't seek is bad. Her instincts is to not trust until she feels secure. Let her initiate contact and leave her to her own devices and it'll be fine, I promise you.

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.

kw0134 posted:

Cats need to approach you. She'll get used to you, you can't rush it or take it personally. It might be easier when she's in her current state to absolutely ignore her as much as possible, because for a mesopredator who is preyed upon as much as it preys on smaller creatures, attention she doesn't seek is bad. Her instincts is to not trust until she feels secure. Let her initiate contact and leave her to her own devices and it'll be fine, I promise you.

Yeah; this is what we did with Luna- ignored her, and then talked to her if she talked to us first. She's still not approachable, but we slow-blink at each other, and she's the only person on earth who can stand my singing voice.

Boris Galerkin
Dec 17, 2011

I don't understand why I can't harass people online. Seriously, somebody please explain why I shouldn't be allowed to stalk others on social media!

Boogalo posted:

My idiots stayed separated for 6 months. 4 of that was one closed in her room and she was fine. The shelter is better than outside, bathroom is better than a shelter cage, a bedroom is better than a bathroom, etc. Its not forever, but I also know folks who have a cat that just lives in a room and is happy. Visit whenever you can and yeah try to play and once she's comfortable coming out to check you out it'll be a good time to consider opening up more exploration. One thing that might be good to do is fill in or cut off truly invisible hiding spots. cubbies and the like are ok but hiding spots should be visible so you can always see each other.

Well that makes me feel a bit better knowing that they can be kept in a room for 4 months at a time. I thought a few days was enough and more was just cruel but ya'll know better than I do.

So last question for now: lights. Turn them on or off in the evening when she's alone? I have smart lights so I can control them from out here. I don't know how smart cats are though, so I don't know if she'll think I'm in the room if I turn them on since that's the first thing I always do when I walk in. I could also set them to any color in case there's a color of lights that's pleasing to cats.

D34THROW
Jan 29, 2012

RETAIL RETAIL LISTEN TO ME BITCH ABOUT RETAIL
:rant:

Boris Galerkin posted:

I just set up my iPad as a pet cam in a pinch and left my room and shut the door. Molly came out to use the litter box immediately after I left. 😕

Look, don't feel bad. We've had Perdy for 2 years and I feel most days like she sticks around for Chino and Bootsy (not that she has much choice :v:) She will only let my wife pet her, and only maybe 20% of the time my wife prompts it. She won't let any human get within 3 feet of her most of the time. She spends most of her days in the garage or under mine and my wife's bed, emerging only when it is quiet enough for her to assume the tiny hellspawn humans are in bed - if she sees them, she goes running.

It's not that she's scared, or at least I think not, because she's not slinking around with her tail down, she's just a naturally stubby-legged low-rider who walks around with her tail and head up. She's just extremely antisocial.

Boris Galerkin posted:

Well that makes me feel a bit better knowing that they can be kept in a room for 4 months at a time. I thought a few days was enough and more was just cruel but ya'll know better than I do.

Lillie, my MIL's cat, hasn't quite been the same since being dragged on a 2-week road trip and 6-week stay up to Maryland during the bullshit with Hurricane Matthew in '16, during which her sister Callie passed (Callie had been around since MIL found Lillie at her work in 2011, and she was like a sister-mother to Lillie). She won't come out of MIL's room anymore except for a minute or two, and she's fine. Just fat.

D34THROW fucked around with this message at 18:20 on Mar 23, 2020

Boris Galerkin
Dec 17, 2011

I don't understand why I can't harass people online. Seriously, somebody please explain why I shouldn't be allowed to stalk others on social media!
Honestly I could never keep a cat that would choose to stay in a single room 24/7 and doesn't interact with me. I get that they are independent animals and all but it takes a non-zero amount of time, effort/energy, and money to take care of one so if I'm not getting anything in return then I just don't see a point.

Edit: I know it's different if you had the cat for a while and have a bond, but I mean if it turns out that Molly is gonna be a 24/7 in my room hiding away from me cat then I'd rather give her to someone else who doesn't care about that.

Fake Edit: I don't think I have ever had a cat that catnip work on. Ruthie isn't interested in toys at all but even in my hands held up to her face she just sniffs it and looks at me. I covered some of Molly's toys and one of her beds in catnip and she just doesn't care. (I'm assuming that since it's a chemical reaction she'd react to it even if she was stressed/terrified of everything.)

Boris Galerkin fucked around with this message at 18:47 on Mar 23, 2020

Sarern
Nov 4, 2008

:toot:
Won't you take me to
Bomertown?
Won't you take me to
BONERTOWN?

:toot:

Boris Galerkin posted:

Honestly I could never keep a cat that would choose to stay in a single room 24/7 and doesn't interact with me. I get that they are independent animals and all but it takes a non-zero amount of time, effort/energy, and money to take care of one so if I'm not getting anything in return then I just don't see a point.
Do you take this attitude for people, too? Cats are often timid and take time to trust people. You seem to want these good things to happen tomorrow, and they are probably not going to happen tomorrow. It requires time, patience, and care, and you might have delays because cats are not dogs and you have to interact with them differently than dogs. There's a lot of good info in the OP about how to do all of these things. You really do need to let the cat be in the driver's seat when it comes to interacting with people. And for intermixing two cats, the OP advice is still the best I've seen. It took months for my two cats to bond with eachother, and months for them to hop onto the bed. One of mine still hides whenever a person visits, and I've had them for a year and a half.

Some cats, like goons already said, are just hermits. Some cats go on walks with leashes. One of mine plays fetch. She didn't do that during the first year I had her. If you're expecting instant kitten piles and cuddles, I think you're going to be disappointed. If your basis for a relationship with a pet is "what have you done for me lately", I uh think you are going to have a hard time building that trust over time.

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Boris Galerkin
Dec 17, 2011

I don't understand why I can't harass people online. Seriously, somebody please explain why I shouldn't be allowed to stalk others on social media!

Sarern posted:

If your basis for a relationship with a pet is "what have you done for me lately", I uh think you are going to have a hard time building that trust over time.

My basis for a relationship (with any species) is that it is a two-way street. All of my relationships are two-sided. None of them are one-sided.

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