Coronavirus 2021: I Threw Up On My Sheep

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Coronavirus 2021: I Threw Up On My Sheep

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Subvisual Haze: Nov 22, 2003; The building was on fire and it wasn't my fault.

BIG-DICK-BUTT-gently caress posted:

IDGI what's the implication?

covid isn't real, it's just the same pneumonia deaths we always have reclassified, WAKE UP SHEEPLE

# ? Apr 5, 2020 20:36

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# ? Jun 4, 2024 22:12

Devian666: Aug 20, 2008; Take some advice Chris.; Fun Shoe

BIG-DICK-BUTT-gently caress posted:

IDGI what's the implication?

The implication is that Covid-19 is helping them die a lot earlier. Those at risk can't die twice. It is a good demonstration of how lethal the virus is.

# ? Apr 5, 2020 20:39

zer0spunk: Nov 6, 2000; devil never even lived

Ugly In The Morning posted:

Dr�s office thinks that the positive flu test doesn�t mean I just have the flu. They think I may be in the middle of a twofer. Fever of 103.5. No cough but I feel insanely bad, easily the sickest I�ve ever been in my life. I have an appointment shortly and if it wasn�t for that I�d be sitting in a tub of cold water.

gently caress dude

hope you beat this (a second time?) stay strong

# ? Apr 5, 2020 20:46

spacetoaster: Feb 10, 2014

Just got a call. My aunt, and her husband, were hospitalized with coronavirus.

In November.

They're obviously fine now, but holy poo poo.

*edit*

In the usa.

They were hospitalized for 6 days and tested negative for whatever the doctors could think of to test them for (flu I assume).

Their doctor called them and said he thinks it was covid based off of the symptoms and the fact that they couldn't figure out wtf it was.

Speaking of all of this, is there any word on antibody testing being rolled out? That'd put all this down as fact, or fiction.

spacetoaster fucked around with this message at 21:03 on Apr 5, 2020

# ? Apr 5, 2020 20:46

Big Beef City: Aug 15, 2013

Devian666 posted:

The implication is that Covid-19 is helping them die a lot earlier. Those at risk can't die twice. It is a good demonstration of how lethal the virus is.

WRONG!

TRICKED BY CHARTS AGAIN!

The "IMPLICATION" that "NUMBERS" want you to believe is that those deaths are trending down. Well I've got big news for you blind morons or BLORONS as my new webbed blog describes you (please like and subscribe): The hot truth is that COVID is CURING pneumonia patients.
...and then secretly killing them. Yeah. That's right. Just what Sony and Nintendo DON'T want you to be reading about. I've got it all covered. If I go missing, tell Tails I love him.

# ? Apr 5, 2020 20:46

Mithaldu: Sep 25, 2007; Let's cuddle.

spacetoaster posted:

Just got a call. My aunt, and her husband, were hospitalized with coronavirus.

In November.

They're obviously fine now, but holy poo poo.

In the usa? Also, how do they know it was covid? Did they have samples or going by symptoms?

# ? Apr 5, 2020 20:47

Sir Bobert Fishbone: Jan 16, 2006; Beebort

Mithaldu posted:

In the usa? Also, how do they know it was covid? Did they have samples or going by symptoms?

Yeah geez not to doubt you, spacetoaster, but that'd be pretty huge news if true.

# ? Apr 5, 2020 20:55

spacetoaster: Feb 10, 2014

Mithaldu posted:

In the usa? Also, how do they know it was covid? Did they have samples or going by symptoms?

In the usa.

They were hospitalized for 6 days and tested negative for whatever the doctors could think of to test them for (flu I assume).

Their doctor called them and said he thinks it was covid based off of the symptoms and the fact that they couldn't figure out wtf it was.

Speaking of all of this, is there any word on antibody testing being rolled out? That'd put all this down as fact, or fiction.

# ? Apr 5, 2020 20:58

There Bias Two: Jan 13, 2009; I'm not a good person

spacetoaster posted:

In the usa.

They were hospitalized for 6 days and tested negative for whatever the doctors could think of to test them for (flu I assume).

Their doctor called them and said he thinks it was covid based off of the symptoms and the fact that they couldn't figure out wtf it was.

Speaking of all of this, is there any word on antibody testing being rolled out? That'd put all this down as fact, or fiction.

You ought to edit your previous statement. This is one doctor's unconfirmed opinion, not fact.

# ? Apr 5, 2020 21:01

gary oldmans diary: Sep 26, 2005

november in the usa?

wait! theres even more space dust on there

# ? Apr 5, 2020 21:01

Anne Whateley: Feb 11, 2007; i like nice words

Yeah, antibody tests were approved a few days ago. There are a couple places in NYC doing antibody tests to find people who have recovered who can now donate serum.

# ? Apr 5, 2020 21:02

spacetoaster: Feb 10, 2014

There Bias Two posted:

You ought to edit your previous statement. This is one doctor's unconfirmed opinion, not fact.

Done.

Anne Whateley posted:

Yeah, antibody tests were approved a few days ago. There are a couple places in NYC doing antibody tests to find people who have recovered who can now donate serum.

Looks like they're going to be rolling it out everywhere.

https://www.politico.com/news/2020/04/04/cdc-coronavirus-blood-tests-165116

# ? Apr 5, 2020 21:06

Kirk Vikernes: Apr 26, 2004; Count Goatnackh

Am I being too conscientious or what...I live in a 850 house community and the past couple days the big thing was a food truck yesterday and a cupcake truck today showing up at the clubhouse. It seems dumb as hell, but I also haven't eaten out since 3/13 when they let us out of school.

Hey, let's all show up to the clubhouse and eat food prepped by people who might be infected or maybe the other homeowners. What a bunch of dumbfucks.

# ? Apr 5, 2020 21:07

Big Beef City: Aug 15, 2013

In order to save yourself you must get immunity by swapping as many fluids as you can with your aunt and her husband immediately. Goonspeed.

e: Clearly that goes for literally everyone not just the one guy talking about their own family. Please post pics of their feet so we can help ascertain what role, if any, those might be playing in this process. tia

# ? Apr 5, 2020 21:07

Turrurrurrurrrrrrr: Dec 22, 2018; I hope this is "battle" enough for you, friend.

BIG-DICK-BUTT-gently caress posted:

IDGI what's the implication?

Maybe a part of those who would have died of pneumonia now get registered as covid-19 deaths.

# ? Apr 5, 2020 21:08

Devian666: Aug 20, 2008; Take some advice Chris.; Fun Shoe

Big Beef City posted:

WRONG!

TRICKED BY CHARTS AGAIN!

The "IMPLICATION" that "NUMBERS" want you to believe is that those deaths are trending down. Well I've got big news for you blind morons or BLORONS as my new webbed blog describes you (please like and subscribe): The hot truth is that COVID is CURING pneumonia patients.
...and then secretly killing them. Yeah. That's right. Just what Sony and Nintendo DON'T want you to be reading about. I've got it all covered. If I go missing, tell Tails I love him.

My uncle works at Nintendo as an assassin. Once he's eaten a mushroom he uses his head to smash through concrete blocks to gain entry to his victims houses.

# ? Apr 5, 2020 21:09

mrfart: May 26, 2004; Dear diary, today I
became a captain.

spacetoaster posted:

In the usa.

They were hospitalized for 6 days and tested negative for whatever the doctors could think of to test them for (flu I assume).

Their doctor called them and said he thinks it was covid based off of the symptoms and the fact that they couldn't figure out wtf it was.

Speaking of all of this, is there any word on antibody testing being rolled out? That'd put all this down as fact, or fiction.

So, you're saying your aunt is patient zero?

# ? Apr 5, 2020 21:15

spacetoaster: Feb 10, 2014

Here's a more gooder article on antibody testing: https://www.statnews.com/2020/04/04/cdc-launches-studies-to-get-more-precise-count-of-undetected-covid-19-cases/

quote:

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has begun preliminary studies to try to determine how many Americans have already been infected with SARS-CoV-2, the virus that causes Covid-19, an agency official revealed Saturday. On Friday, the agency said nearly 240,000 people in the country have been infected with the virus and nearly 5,500 have died.

Joe Bresee, deputy incident manager for the CDC�s pandemic response, said the agency hopes to flesh out the portion of cases that have evaded detection using three related studies.

The first, which has already begun, will be looking at blood samples from people never diagnosed as a case in some of the nation�s Covid-19 hot spots, to see how widely the virus circulated. Later, a national survey, using samples from different parts of the country, will be conducted. A third will look at special populations � health care workers are a top priority � to see how widely the virus has spread within them. Bresee said the CDC hopes to start the national survey in the summer; he gave no timeline for the health workers study.

�We�re just starting to do testing and we�ll report out on these very quickly,� Bresee said at a media briefing. �We think the serum studies will be very important to understand what the true amount of infection is out in the community.�

These studies � called sero-surveys � involve drawing blood from people never diagnosed as a case to look for antibodies to the virus. They are conducted by taking a representative sample of people in a city, for instance, ensuring people from different age groups are included.

It�s known that many people have mild infections when they contract Covid-19. Data from China and elsewhere suggests about 80% of people confirmed to have the infection have mild or moderate symptoms.

But it is also assumed that figure may in fact be low � that more people may have already encountered and fended off the virus than have been detected. There have been reports, for instance, from the Diamond Princess cruise ship involving people who tested positive who recounted having no symptoms at all. The ship was the first of several cruise ships on which the virus circulated widely; nearly 20% of passengers and crew on the ship eventually tested positive for the virus.

Getting a sense of how many mild and asymptomatic cases there are helps authorities plan for future responses to Covid-19 activity. If it�s known that a high percentage of people in a community were likely infected when the virus moved through during its first wave of infections, the response to a reappearance later might be tailored to protect only high-risk people, for instance.

This work is part of ramped-up coronavirus surveillance at the CDC. The agency has been adapting a number of surveillance systems used to record the toll of seasonal flu in the United States to get a near-real-time picture of SARS-CoV-2�s march across the country.

Related: The coronavirus is washing over the U.S. These factors will determine how bad it gets in each community
On Friday, the CDC published the first of what will be a weekly Covid-19 surveillance report, based on the model of its longtime influenza report, FluView. The report is based on data from the last week of March. It showed that in that week, nearly 76,000 Americans had been tested for the infection, with nearly 11,000, or 14.5%, testing positive.

It also showed that pneumonia and influenza deaths, which would normally be falling at this time of year as flu season starts to abate, are increasing. Pneumonia deaths have been rising sharply since the end of February � because of Covid-19.

The new surveillance systems will allow the CDC to add context to the daily reports of Covid-19 cases and deaths, said Lynnette Brammer, head of CDC�s domestic influenza surveillance system and COVIDView, the new weekly report. It will help the agency determine who is contracting the virus and being hospitalized because of Covid-19 infections, and who is dying from the disease.

�We�re starting to see different trends, but it will take us a while to get really comfortable interpreting this data,� Brammer said.

# ? Apr 5, 2020 21:16

VikingSkull: Jan 23, 2017; Look Viking you're a trash Trump supporter what the fuck makes you think you can have an avatar that isn't what I decide? Shut your fucking trap and go away. Your trolling is tiresome and just shits up the forum.

spacetoaster posted:

Here's a more gooder article on antibody testing: https://www.statnews.com/2020/04/04/cdc-launches-studies-to-get-more-precise-count-of-undetected-covid-19-cases/

I wonder if any other nations are doing this. When the US ends up with millions of confirmed cases, this type of testing is going to be why.

# ? Apr 5, 2020 21:19

monkeytennis: Apr 26, 2007; Toilet Rascal

The bloody PM is in hospital now

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-52177125

# ? Apr 5, 2020 21:21

BIG-DICK-BUTT-FUCK: Jan 26, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

Turrurrurrurrrrrrr posted:

Maybe a part of those who would have died of pneumonia now get registered as covid-19 deaths.

I'm kinda puzzled bc I would have expected the opposite. People that die from COVID but weren't tested get counted as Pneumonia

# ? Apr 5, 2020 21:22

Andrast: Apr 21, 2010

VikingSkull posted:

I wonder if any other nations are doing this. When the US ends up with millions of confirmed cases, this type of testing is going to be why.

Finland is supposed to start doing antibody tests in a week or two

# ? Apr 5, 2020 21:23

CassandraZara: Oct 21, 2012; by Nyc_Tattoo

BIG-DICK-BUTT-gently caress posted:

I�m kinda puzzled bc I would have expected the opposite. People that die from COVID but weren�t tested get counted as Pneumonia

I bet it�s something like Schrodinger�s Pneumonia, where you can�t count them as one or the other until you get them tested.

# ? Apr 5, 2020 21:24

Dandywalken: Feb 11, 2014

monkeytennis posted:

The bloody PM is in hospital now

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-52177125

Blimey....

# ? Apr 5, 2020 21:24

Piggy Smalls: Jun 21, 2015; BOSS MAKES A DOLLAR,
YOU MAKE A DIME,
I'LL LICK HIS BOOT TILL THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS SHINE.

Scary times. I get scared about any pain my body feels. Currently have a sore throat. Mild cough but could be I�m catching a cold or something worse. My anxiety is at a peak level these days. I had a heart attack 5 years ago and my heart is poo poo. I don�t think I�d survive this illness if I get it.

# ? Apr 5, 2020 21:25

Zero VGS: Aug 16, 2002; ASK ME ABOUT HOW HUMAN LIVES THAT MADE VIDEO GAME CONTROLLERS ARE WORTH MORE; Lipstick Apathy

I mean, they can't catch Covid-19, but can you really put a price on humiliating your dog?

# ? Apr 5, 2020 21:25

Fallows: Jan 20, 2005; If he waits long enough he can use his accrued interest from his savings to bring his negative checking balance back into the black.

monkeytennis posted:

The bloody PM is in hospital now

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-52177125

Are these like the suprise tests Trump likes to take?

Dandywalken posted:

Blimey....

Fallows fucked around with this message at 21:33 on Apr 5, 2020

# ? Apr 5, 2020 21:29

Big Beef City: Aug 15, 2013

The Navy captain that was shitcanned from the Carrier has also tested positive as well. Cool.

# ? Apr 5, 2020 21:30

Trainee PornStar: Jul 20, 2006; I'm just an inbetweener

monkeytennis posted:

The bloody PM is in hospital now

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-52177125

What's his new slogan? I will survive?

# ? Apr 5, 2020 21:31

Noblesse Obliged: Apr 7, 2012

monkeytennis posted:

The bloody PM is in hospital now

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-52177125

I hope they film his final choking breaths so I can watch the panic in his eyes

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Apr 5, 2020 21:32

Dandywalken: Feb 11, 2014

Noblesse Obliged posted:

I hope they film his final choking breaths so I can watch the panic in his eyes

Same what do you think his terror piss will smell like hahaha asking for a friend......................

# ? Apr 5, 2020 21:33

Noblesse Obliged: Apr 7, 2012

To be fair I want that for pretty much every world leader right now. It would make a great montage

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Apr 5, 2020 21:35

Piss Meridian: Mar 25, 2020; by Pragmatica

Noblesse Obliged posted:

I hope they film his final choking breaths so I can watch the panic in his eyes

Noblesse Obliged posted:

To be fair I want that for pretty much every world leader right now. It would make a great montage

also a series of waitresses

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Apr 5, 2020 21:35

mrfart: May 26, 2004; Dear diary, today I
became a captain.

Andrast posted:

Finland is supposed to start doing antibody tests in a week or two

Yeah i think labs across the planet are falling over each other to start doing this as fast as possible.
It's going to be vital in restarting the economy and well, society.

# ? Apr 5, 2020 21:36

spacetoaster: Feb 10, 2014

Piggy Smalls posted:

Scary times. I get scared about any pain my body feels. Currently have a sore throat. Mild cough but could be I�m catching a cold or something worse. My anxiety is at a peak level these days. I had a heart attack 5 years ago and my heart is poo poo. I don�t think I�d survive this illness if I get it.

Do some escapist stuff. Read some fantasy novels. Play an in depth, story driven, computer game.

Some stuff like that will take your mind off of this.

# ? Apr 5, 2020 21:36

Noblesse Obliged: Apr 7, 2012

The worst part is the nurses will work tirelessly to save that sack of shits life because they're saints and if he recovers he'll do his best to gut their jobs

# ? Apr 5, 2020 21:36

Fallows: Jan 20, 2005; If he waits long enough he can use his accrued interest from his savings to bring his negative checking balance back into the black.

https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/country/us/

So I noticed Florida is second in the nation when it comes to testing, I wonder if that has a lot to do with Trumps base being here...

# ? Apr 5, 2020 21:37

Ugly In The Morning: Jul 1, 2010; Pillbug

spacetoaster posted:

You are gonna be ok. I got the H1N1 in 09 and had a fever of 104 when they took me in to a doctor.

A couple of IV's and some drugs later I was "better". As in, the sickest I've every been, but just laying in bed all day for a week. And then another week of feeling bad, but being able to move around/watch tv/etc.

I had the H1N1 in 09, which gave me pneumonia, and this makes that look like nothing in comparison. I just got back from the doctor�s office- They gave me 1600mg ibuprofen to avoid sending me to the ER and it at least knocked me down a bit.

# ? Apr 5, 2020 21:38

d0s: Jun 28, 2004

Piggy Smalls posted:

Scary times. I get scared about any pain my body feels. Currently have a sore throat. Mild cough but could be I�m catching a cold or something worse. My anxiety is at a peak level these days. I had a heart attack 5 years ago and my heart is poo poo. I don�t think I�d survive this illness if I get it.

definitely, I had the worst headache of my life yesterday and it lasted all day, was sure it was the beginning of corona (I am required to go to work). but today I'm fine and there was never a fever :toot:

# ? Apr 5, 2020 21:38

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# ? Jun 4, 2024 22:12

Fallows: Jan 20, 2005; If he waits long enough he can use his accrued interest from his savings to bring his negative checking balance back into the black.

What do you do that requires you to work even if you're sick?

# ? Apr 5, 2020 21:40

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Coronavirus 2021: I Threw Up On My Sheep

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