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Guildenstern Mother
Mar 31, 2010

Why walk when you can ride?
I want to make some really decadent and impressive looking dessert for valentines day. I'm a reasonably decent baker, in that I've made cheesecake successfully, but suck at bread. Any favorites you guys would suggest?

edit: no soufflés, I make them pretty often so they've lost their impressiveness

Guildenstern Mother fucked around with this message at 06:07 on Jan 31, 2021

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VelociBacon
Dec 8, 2009

Guildenstern Mother posted:

I want to make some really decadent and impressive looking dessert for valentines day. I'm a reasonably decent baker, in that I've made cheesecake successfully, but suck at bread. Any favorites you guys would suggest?

edit: no soufflés, I make them pretty often so they've lost their impressiveness

Chocolate lava cake with spun sugar tends to get the job done.

BrianBoitano
Nov 15, 2006

this is fine



Lemon posset with homemade ice cream and a berry. I was blown away with how pure a flavor lemon posset gives, and it's lighter than curd but still substantial. Three components, each of which are simple, together feel special. If you can't do ice cream, maybe candied nuts or brittle.



Unrelated: goons long ago put the fear of the mandolin in me. Each time the "blood sacrifice" is mentioned there is a ceremonial sharing of solemn stories and learned respect. As a result I've been incredibly careful, using a kevlar glove if I feel like going very close to the blade, but never even nicking that.

Today my small mandolin took its due, while on the side of a drawer where I was reaching for a binder clip :negative:

At least it was a very clean cut and my son isn't old enough to immediately parrot curse words!

Eat This Glob
Jan 14, 2008

God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. Who will wipe this blood off us? What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we need to invent?

BrianBoitano posted:

Today my small mandolin took its due, while on the side of a drawer where I was reaching for a binder clip :negative:

At least it was a very clean cut and my son isn't old enough to immediately parrot curse words!

always happy to welcome another blood sibling to our infernal ranks :devil:

Helith
Nov 5, 2009

Basket of Adorables


Guildenstern Mother posted:

I want to make some really decadent and impressive looking dessert for valentines day. I'm a reasonably decent baker, in that I've made cheesecake successfully, but suck at bread. Any favorites you guys would suggest?

edit: no soufflés, I make them pretty often so they've lost their impressiveness

Have a look at these for ideas
Anne Reardon, How to Cook That Valentines playlist

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPT0YU_0VLHwem2yk1USYXFkY8isweuRg

pile of brown
Dec 31, 2004
Chocolate marquise is my go to impressive easy dessert

Guildenstern Mother
Mar 31, 2010

Why walk when you can ride?
Thanks guys, this gives me a good bunch of ideas.

Cheese Thief
Oct 30, 2020
I watched one of my internet friends make ramen from scratch for over an hour. It was like, really complicated. The ramen itself is a mix of all these different types of flours, then ran it through a noodle press. Not sure what all he did, but stock from pork necks were involved.

VelociBacon
Dec 8, 2009

Cheese Thief posted:

I watched one of my internet friends make ramen from scratch for over an hour. It was like, really complicated. The ramen itself is a mix of all these different types of flours, then ran it through a noodle press. Not sure what all he did, but stock from pork necks were involved.

e: gently caress I almost replied, not this time

Cheese Thief
Oct 30, 2020

VelociBacon posted:

e: gently caress I almost replied, not this time

Um what? Anyway, making ramen by hand looked like a ton of work. Nothing I'm interested in but he seems to enjoy it.

Eeyo
Aug 29, 2004

Yeah ramen noodles are different since they usually use kansui, an alkaline ingredient that conditions the dough. I'd be more intimidated by soba noodles though, it's difficult to work with buckwheat flour; on the other hand you get to use the cool knife.

enki42
Jun 11, 2001
#ATMLIVESMATTER

Put this Nazi-lover on ignore immediately!
Everything to do with ramen doesn't make sense to make from scratch at home, IMO. Tonkotsu broth takes ages, chashu pork is a pretty laborious process, even the eggs require a marinating step. I've never tried the noodles, but every article I've read on them starts with how you shouldn't bother and just buy noodles.

I've made a good bowl of ramen before, but it took literally 24 hours of cooking to get a bowl that was as good as one I can get for $10.

SubG
Aug 19, 2004

It's a hard world for little things.
Eh. I've been making duck ramen about once a week since the start of the pandemic and while it's a multi-day thing, if you've got a freezer it's not like you're investing a day's worth of prep for one meal when you make stock.

And noodles are one of those things that takes a little practice to get the basic mechanics down, but once you get a feel for it, it's mostly just doing it.

I mean not trying to talk you into it or anything, but holy poo poo am I glad I wasn't scared off of trying it because of the perceived difficulty because now it's a favourite for both me and my girlfriend.

Really I think the stuff where I'm more likely to say gently caress it and just get it from a restaurant is the stuff where it requires a bunch of ingredients that I don't already use for a bunch of other stuff, like pig's knuckles and congealed pig's blood for making Bún bò Huế. Which I could also eat a bowl of every loving week until it fuckin' killed me.

Steve Yun
Aug 7, 2003
I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.
Soiled Meat

BrianBoitano posted:

goons long ago put the fear of the mandolin in me. Each time the "blood sacrifice" is mentioned there is a ceremonial sharing of solemn stories and learned respect. As a result I've been incredibly careful, using a kevlar glove if I feel like going very close to the blade, but never even nicking that.

Today my small mandolin took its due, while on the side of a drawer where I was reaching for a binder clip :negative:

Eat This Glob
Jan 14, 2008

God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. Who will wipe this blood off us? What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we need to invent?


Amazing!

BrianBoitano
Nov 15, 2006

this is fine



That's fantastic, thank you. Fingat still not healed because it refuses to bleed and thus no platelets.

Eat This Glob
Jan 14, 2008

God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. Who will wipe this blood off us? What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we need to invent?

It took me maybe 6 weeks to fully heal for my fingat. My spouse would clean and dress the wound for me, so that was nice. Godspeed on your fingat

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, MAD-2R World
I always keep my mandolin in a clear plastic box with a latch so it can't ambush me.

You can only have 3 kinds of bread, what are they?

I'm gonna say... bagels, tortillas and baguettes?

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

Flatbread, risen bread, and cornbread :v:

BrianBoitano
Nov 15, 2006

this is fine



sean10mm posted:

You can only have 3 kinds of bread, what are they?

no, I spent too long with this reality living in a small town so I learned to bake and I'm not going back :colbert:

Eeyo
Aug 29, 2004

sean10mm posted:

You can only have 3 kinds of bread, what are they?

Wonderbread, pillsbury crescent rolls, and saltines.

therattle
Jul 24, 2007
Soiled Meat
A good sourdough (maybe 80% white/20 wholemeal), focaccia, and a dense, moist, slightly gummy seeded wholemeal sandwich loaf.

SubG
Aug 19, 2004

It's a hard world for little things.
Small, medium, large.

Casu Marzu
Oct 20, 2008

Bread I'm currently eating, bread I am going to eat in the future, bread that I may eat in the future

therattle
Jul 24, 2007
Soiled Meat

SubG posted:

Small, medium, large.

Round, long, rectangular.

tarbrush
Feb 7, 2011

ALL ABOARD THE SCOTLAND HYPE TRAIN!

CHOO CHOO

therattle posted:

A good sourdough (maybe 80% white/20 wholemeal), focaccia, and a dense, moist, slightly gummy seeded wholemeal sandwich loaf.

This, but maybe sub out the focaccia for a pillowy brioche

therattle
Jul 24, 2007
Soiled Meat

tarbrush posted:

This, but maybe sub out the focaccia for a pillowy brioche

Each to their own. I just bloody love focaccia.

Eat This Glob
Jan 14, 2008

God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. Who will wipe this blood off us? What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we need to invent?

gently caress, that's a question. yeasted, chemically leavened, and flatbread?

i know someone mentioned tortillas before, but i wouldn't call ground corn tortillas bread. flour tortillas maybe, but i can live without those.

baguette, bagels, and an oatmeal loaf, i guess?

bagels are a fine substitute for a burger bun, base for a nice breakfast sando, and of course the lox/cream cheese/capers etc. baguette is versatile, and an oatmeal loaf for it's utility

Hawkperson
Jun 20, 2003

Bagels, challah, and sourdough bread for me

edit: this is a close fourth place though:

therattle posted:

a dense, moist, slightly gummy seeded wholemeal sandwich loaf.

therattle
Jul 24, 2007
Soiled Meat

Hawkperson posted:

Bagels, challah, and sourdough bread for me

edit: this is a close fourth place though:

Yeah! In first lockdown I bought as an experiment some very coarse wholemeal which works very well for this. It needs soaking for 2 hours in boiling water before using (otherwise it’s too hard in the bread), and I add some wholemeal and a bit of white flour to that with some treacle (molasses). Sometimes I add seeds too. It’s really good. There’s nothing fancy about the technique: machine knead, proof, shape, rise, bake.

Mr. Wiggles
Dec 1, 2003

We are all drinking from the highball glass of ideology.
Ok, I'd go with sourdough, tortillas, and pizza.

Arkhamina
Mar 30, 2008

Arkham Whore.
Fallen Rib
I have messed around with making injera bread from teff flour, but while I can handle the pan side of it, I am a bad sourdough parent, and forget if I have fed it, or go too long without feeding it, and WOW does it get ripe.

Injera when done nicely is stretchy, nutty, fairly waterproof (so you can use it as an eating implement with finger). Also gluten free, which the store bought stuff is not, because wheat flour is cheaper than teff... If you're a sourdough fan, check it out. Most recipes are like 'mix water and flour until the correct texture' however...

therattle
Jul 24, 2007
Soiled Meat

Arkhamina posted:

I have messed around with making injera bread from teff flour, but while I can handle the pan side of it, I am a bad sourdough parent, and forget if I have fed it, or go too long without feeding it, and WOW does it get ripe.

Injera when done nicely is stretchy, nutty, fairly waterproof (so you can use it as an eating implement with finger). Also gluten free, which the store bought stuff is not, because wheat flour is cheaper than teff... If you're a sourdough fan, check it out. Most recipes are like 'mix water and flour until the correct texture' however...

I was just thinking today of making injera. My son is coeliac, and I like making a couple of Ethiopian dishes. What’s your technique?

Eat This Glob
Jan 14, 2008

God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. Who will wipe this blood off us? What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we need to invent?

Mr. Wiggles posted:

Ok, I'd go with sourdough, tortillas, and pizza.

when pizza's on a bagel, you can pizza any time :colbert:

bloody ghost titty
Oct 23, 2008

Eat This Glob posted:

when pizza's on a bagel, you can pizza any time :colbert:

I am this reference’s demographic and I wanted you to know I appreciate you. But not those tiny pepperoni cubes. They were always wrong.

bloody ghost titty
Oct 23, 2008
Ordered the Addo sofrito for a colleague because we all need motivations to cook more when it’s 17” of snow outside. Will update with her impressions. Their new blue tape spice idea looks rad as heck for anyone who isn’t getting regular bags from Penny or Kalyustan’s.

Arkhamina
Mar 30, 2008

Arkham Whore.
Fallen Rib
:words: Finding the gf teff is step 1 - guessing from spelling, you are UK. Here teff is often milled in same surroundings as wheat. Bob's Red Mill brand has dedicated gf milling.

I mixed about 3 cups teff flour with about 4 cups water, but what you are aiming for is a really thin pancake batter. Crepe maybe? (Been 15+ years celiac, so a hazy memory) add a 1/2 tsp salt. Last time, I gave it a little kicker of baking yeast. Some recipes skip this. Cover it loosely with saran wrap or Cheese cloth, and let it hang out on the counter for 5 days. I gave it a little stir, and a bit more flour and water, but I am a sour dough novice. Once it has soured, it may get a bit of a gross skin. You can decant to a different container, leave that.

At this point, you have hopefully a slightly bubbly brown slurry, that wants to separate. You can tuck it into the fridge. To make injera, take more teff and water, make a thin pancake batter, add a cup of starter, let it sit for an hour or two, room temperature. Should get bubbly. For a pan, get the flattest nonstick pan you can find, that you can lid. They make these electric tortilla griddles that are perfect, but I just use a glass lid and a big fry pan. Seeing it cook is helpful to know when it is done. It your pan is really good, you don't need any oil, otherwise a tiny bit of spray oil. Heat the pan medium hot. You will have to experiment, but you want to pour in a small amount of batter, and tilt the pan around to form as thin a layer as possible, then slam the lid down tight. You want to see the edges dry and small bubbles set all through it. As I understand, cool injera makers don't flip, it is single side cook only. I won't tell if you flip it. Experience will tell you when it sets up, and you can always add more liquid to thin the batter out. I would recommend watching YouTube for seeing how the pros use wrist action to spread the batter. When each one is done, it will need to steam off and cool a bit. Before that, it will stick to absolutely everything. Be prepared to eat some ugly ones, I would practice a fair bit before any shared dinner!

Arkhamina fucked around with this message at 03:05 on Feb 3, 2021

Eat This Glob
Jan 14, 2008

God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. Who will wipe this blood off us? What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we need to invent?

i have a serious distaste for wal mart politically, so i almost never shop there. long story short, my wife asked me to pick some poo poo up there yesterday that she needed ahead of a snow storm as she was stuck working late. long story short, i picked up some vegetable stock there to make split pea soup to save myself a trip elsewhere during the nor'easter.

the brand was "kitchen basics." that poo poo was so dark it looked like beef jus going through a goth phase. my split pea soup turned out a horrendous color. taste was fine, but I've never seen veg stock that color. that soup is already an unappetizing shade already and it only made it worse.

Anne Whateley
Feb 11, 2007
:unsmith: i like nice words
Kitchen Basics isn't a Wal-Mart store brand, it's a national brand. Their chicken broth won in Serious Eats' taste test. ATK says it's dark because it includes mushroom broth.

I'm still on team Better than Bouillon myself

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Eat This Glob
Jan 14, 2008

God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. Who will wipe this blood off us? What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we need to invent?

Anne Whateley posted:

Kitchen Basics isn't a Wal-Mart store brand, it's a national brand. Their chicken broth won in Serious Eats' taste test. ATK says it's dark because it includes mushroom broth.

I'm still on team Better than Bouillon myself

THAT explains it. Mushrooms aren't a vegetable though, dammit! Flavor was solid - no complaints, just surprisingly dark. I appreciate the info and I'll give the chicken stock a try next time I'm in the market for some. My spouse is trying to limit her animal protein intake so I made a vegetarian split pea soup.

e: last sentence noted because i generally use chicken stock and bacon or bacon fat in my split pea soup, not that any of you would intrinsically know that lol

Eat This Glob fucked around with this message at 03:50 on Feb 3, 2021

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