[COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > [COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

Tzen: Sep 11, 2001

Thoguh posted:

Mother fucker now the daycare is dropping masking because they are following CDC guidance and the CDC says COVID is over

loving gently caress

so grateful my kids school and daycare are still taking things seriously

it's only a matter of time though god drat it

# ? Mar 4, 2022 22:53

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# ? Jun 5, 2024 01:32

Greg Legg: Oct 6, 2004

zegermans posted:

my daughter is the only person left wearing a mask at her preschool and is starting to get teased over it. this country sucks.

I am sorry. I think my son has at least one other friend in his class that is wearing a mask

# ? Mar 4, 2022 22:53

Tzen: Sep 11, 2001

mdemone posted:

mask usage vs. death rate from all causes

l
m
a
o

# ? Mar 4, 2022 22:54

Chamale: Jul 11, 2010; I'm helping!

Animal-Mother posted:

June 13, 2020

Since businesses re-opened and major protests happened at the same time, a huge new wave of infections has taken place. The first wave never even ended. Now people are tired of wearing masks. Hospitals are in trouble again. The official death toll in America is around 120,000 but because they're clearly trying to hide the real number by saying most of the victims died simply of pneumonia, the reality is certainly much worse. But because people want to move on, the media isn't talking about this.

On the date you wrote that, the excess death toll in the US was 160,256.

# ? Mar 4, 2022 22:55

skooma512: Feb 8, 2012; You couldn't grok my race car, but you dug the roadside blur.

Was walking back with my lunch with my mask on because I didn't feel like taking it off and it's windy and when I passed some Karen turned to her friend and whined "Why are people wearing masks outside"

Really wish I wasn't wearing my work jacket.

# ? Mar 4, 2022 22:56

Fireside Nut: Feb 10, 2010; turp

Have a short parent/child event at my kid's school tonight. Initial flier that was sent home said parents would need to wear a mask. However, since they are going to have some sort of snack you make with your kid and the CDC saying 'gently caress it', I'm guessing we will be the only 2 in masks. Ugh

At least the number of active cases around here are fewer than they were a few weeks ago. It's awesome that it's a constant roll of the dice to try and give my kid a semi-normal childhood.

# ? Mar 4, 2022 22:56

Potato Salad: Oct 23, 2014; nobody cares

mind your loving business Karen :zaeed:

# ? Mar 4, 2022 22:57

facetoucher cat: Dec 20, 2013; by sebmojo

Platystemon posted:

Doing one and a half years of cocaine every six months for the rest of your life.

Mildly.

I'm down for doing that again

# ? Mar 4, 2022 22:58

Zugzwang: Jan 2, 2005; You have a kind of sick desperation in your laugh.; Ramrod XTreme

Platystemon posted:

Doing one and a half years of cocaine every six months for the rest of your life.

Hell, might as well

# ? Mar 4, 2022 22:58

salient: Jan 2, 2021

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud posted:

They can't be readmitted if they're dead, they don't count if they die during the initial stay, and if they're admitted more than four times in the year they're an outlier and no longer count.

incredible. i would really love to see what proportion of 911 and interfacility ambulance transports these ~outliers make up

# ? Mar 4, 2022 22:59

Dren: Jan 5, 2001; Pillbug

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud posted:

Some lady tried to strike up a conversation about oat milk with me at the grocery store not too long ago. I'm wearing a N95, leave me the gently caress alone, I don't want to chat about dairy products.

oat milk is a dairy substitute not a dairy product :eng101:

# ? Mar 4, 2022 23:01

Tzen: Sep 11, 2001

Pillowpants posted:

My sons school nurse quit on Monday due to Masks being optional.

Today, the Principal quit.

lol totally normal.

lmao

# ? Mar 4, 2022 23:02

Gunshow Poophole: Sep 14, 2008; OMBUDSMAN
POSTERS LOCAL 42069; Clapping Larry

Dren posted:

oat milk is a dairy substitute not a dairy product

Potato Salad posted:

mind your loving business Karen

# ? Mar 4, 2022 23:07

Loucks: May 21, 2007; It's incwedibwe easy to suck my own dick.

zegermans posted:

my daughter is the only person left wearing a mask at her preschool and is starting to get teased over it. this country sucks.

This is America. Buy her a gun to open carry.

# ? Mar 4, 2022 23:11

dew worm: Apr 20, 2019

Animal-Mother posted:

June 13, 2020

Since businesses re-opened and major protests happened at the same time, a huge new wave of infections has taken place. The first wave never even ended. Now people are tired of wearing masks. Hospitals are in trouble again. The official death toll in America is around 120,000 but because they're clearly trying to hide the real number by saying most of the victims died simply of pneumonia, the reality is certainly much worse. But because people want to move on, the media isn't talking about this.

# ? Mar 4, 2022 23:12

Why Am I So Tired: Sep 28, 2021

McCracAttack posted:

https://twitter.com/CDCDirector/status/1499521986275520515

🤗

Seeing her tweet out "see, it's low, look at the data" immediately after redefining high as low makes me think it's social murder, not incompetence.

# ? Mar 4, 2022 23:13

mdemone: Mar 14, 2001

dew worm posted:

I think I'm going quite mad.

# ? Mar 4, 2022 23:13

Loucks: May 21, 2007; It's incwedibwe easy to suck my own dick.

Dren posted:

oat milk is a dairy substitute not a dairy product

Wrong & gently caress off

# ? Mar 4, 2022 23:14

Why Am I So Tired: Sep 28, 2021

facetoucher cat posted:

There's a bunch of fires all over this area and it's pretty smokey so if I wear a mask while fishing for food bc even lame rear end frozen tilapia is $6 a pound how can I signal to folks I'm not afraid of covid (which doesn't exist bc it's over) and it's just the smoke I'm trying to avoid

Earlier in the thread someone recommended putting an American Flag neck gaiter over masks / respirators to confuse / disarm the chuds. Thinking about ordering a couple now that COVID is over.

# ? Mar 4, 2022 23:15

Nocturtle: Mar 17, 2007

All these reports of schools getting rid of masks have an air of crushing finality. No way for parents to wriggle out of this jam.

mdemone posted:

mask usage vs. death rate from all causes

No one could have known, decisions were made with the best evidence available at the time etc.

# ? Mar 4, 2022 23:16

Tzen: Sep 11, 2001

Fireside Nut posted:

Have a short parent/child event at my kid's school tonight. Initial flier that was sent home said parents would need to wear a mask. However, since they are going to have some sort of snack you make with your kid and the CDC saying 'gently caress it', I'm guessing we will be the only 2 in masks. Ugh

At least the number of active cases around here are fewer than they were a few weeks ago. It's awesome that it's a constant roll of the dice to try and give my kid a semi-normal childhood.

yeah in relation to trying to give my first grader a normal childhood, a few weeks ago i finally loving caved and accepted a family friends invite to have a visit at 'The Museum of Flight' in Seattle with our kids

it's a massive indoor museum with planes and all kinds of cool poo poo, there's also an outdoor hanger where you can walk through several different Boeing airplanes including an old Air Force One

we wore our masks, kids took them off outdoors to have a quick snack and water, and we spent nearly 4 hours in a crowded indoor/outdoor space shared by thousands of strangers

:sludgepal:

thank gently caress we did that when the general public was wearing good masks properly

no one since got covid and our kids had a loving blast so that's good but loving hell it was also very miserable

this post approved by President Nixon and Premier Zhou Enlai

# ? Mar 4, 2022 23:19

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Why Am I So Tired posted:

Earlier in the thread someone recommended putting an American Flag neck gaiter over masks / respirators to confuse / disarm the chuds. Thinking about ordering a couple now that COVID is over.

Get a thin blue line one so cops will leave you alone too.

# ? Mar 4, 2022 23:25

Cheesus: Oct 17, 2002; Let us retract the foreskin of ignorance and apply the wirebrush of enlightenment.; Yam Slacker

skooma512 posted:

Was walking back with my lunch with my mask on because I didn't feel like taking it off and it's windy and when I passed some Karen turned to her friend and whined "Why are people wearing masks outside"

This year I've been going out with my kindergartner to wait for the bus. I've felt it tremendously hypocritical to make him wear a mask and not me, so I've worn one every morning in solidarity.

Once the temperature started hitting the 20s, something I didn't really mind in the first place became something I was actually and truly thankful for.

# ? Mar 4, 2022 23:26

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

Zugzwang posted:

I took a circuitous route to get home because traffic is poo poo and there was a crash on the bridge leading to the tunnel I needed to go through. 3 miles turned into 18 lol.

Anyway

Here's something fun

Off in the distance there is the back half of a AMC megaplex parking lot

The parking lot is massive and it's completely loving full. People are going to die because of the new Batman movie. lol

# ? Mar 4, 2022 23:26

Zugzwang: Jan 2, 2005; You have a kind of sick desperation in your laugh.; Ramrod XTreme

WampaLord posted:

Get a thin blue line one so cops will leave you alone too.

I�d be willing to put on a flag gaiter when I�m driving through deep-red country next month but the thought of even touching a Thin Blue Line one makes my lips curl in disgust

# ? Mar 4, 2022 23:27

skooma512: Feb 8, 2012; You couldn't grok my race car, but you dug the roadside blur.

zegermans posted:

my daughter is the only person left wearing a mask at her preschool and is starting to get teased over it. this country sucks.

At least her parents can breathe

# ? Mar 4, 2022 23:33

razorscooter: Nov 5, 2008

starting to hear that covid might finally be over

# ? Mar 4, 2022 23:34

skooma512: Feb 8, 2012; You couldn't grok my race car, but you dug the roadside blur.

Forget tribunals, we need to have full on struggle sessions with all these public health officials and officials who think this is ok.

Miss Walensky why did you think masks don't work and shouldn't be advised?
Miss Walensky how can you have any right to call yourself a medical professional?

# ? Mar 4, 2022 23:34

tuyop: Sep 15, 2006; Every second that we're not growing BASIL is a second wasted; Fun Shoe

mdemone posted:

mask usage vs. death rate from all causes

Where'd that mask usage data come from?

# ? Mar 4, 2022 23:37

A Bakers Cousin: Dec 18, 2003; by vyelkin

Why Am I So Tired posted:

Earlier in the thread someone recommended putting an American Flag neck gaiter over masks / respirators to confuse / disarm the chuds. Thinking about ordering a couple now that COVID is over.

I'm pretty sure if you put a thin blue line flag sticker on your mask you become a chud hero

# ? Mar 4, 2022 23:38

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud: Apr 7, 2003

mdemone posted:

mask usage vs. death rate from all causes

lol cool

# ? Mar 4, 2022 23:40

Snowglobe of Doom: Mar 30, 2012; sucks to be right

Cricketing legend Shane Warned just died of a sudden heart attack. He was only 52
https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2...uo8uyE3ceK3tayg

He caught covid about 6 months ago and was put on a ventilator. But not the bad kind of ventilator, an experimental good kind of ventilator

quote:

Warne has since opened up about contracting the virus, which occurred even though he was fully vaccinated.

�It was a bit like a hangover, I had a pounding headache,� he told the Herald Sun.

�The first couple of days, when I tested positive, I just had a thumping headache and I had one day where I had the shivers, but (was) sweating, like when you have the flu.

�I lost a bit of sense of taste for a few days, but after three or four days I was fine.

�I have apparently got the holy grail. I have been double vaccinated and I have had Covid, so I am meant to be absolutely fine now.�

The 52-year-old made the staggering admission that he was placed on a ventilator to ensure he didn't suffer any lingering effects of the virus.

�It wasn�t because I could not breathe, or anything like that, it was basically a special ventilator that I was trialling to make sure there were no longer-lasting effects that Covid would have on me," he said.

�I have been fine, I have been able to run, I have been able to do everything. I have been absolutely fine.�

https://au.sports.yahoo.com/cricket-2021-shane-warne-details-battle-covid-19-210529388.html

Yeah I dunno what that might be, some kind of bipap I guess?? :shrug:

Anyway I guess his "avoid lingering effects of the virus" plan didn't work out so great

# ? Mar 4, 2022 23:41

Fireside Nut: Feb 10, 2010; turp

Tzen posted:

yeah in relation to trying to give my first grader a normal childhood, a few weeks ago i finally loving caved and accepted a family friends invite to have a visit at 'The Museum of Flight' in Seattle with our kids

it's a massive indoor museum with planes and all kinds of cool poo poo, there's also an outdoor hanger where you can walk through several different Boeing airplanes including an old Air Force One

we wore our masks, kids took them off outdoors to have a quick snack and water, and we spent nearly 4 hours in a crowded indoor/outdoor space shared by thousands of strangers

thank gently caress we did that when the general public was wearing good masks properly

no one since got covid and our kids had a loving blast so that's good but loving hell it was also very miserable

this post approved by President Nixon and Premier Zhou Enlai