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Tezer
Jul 9, 2001

My work is refreshing the employee manual and added a policy that is pretty clearly against NLRB guidance regarding the right of employees to discuss compensation with each other. I mentioned that they probably wanted to pull it, since (my limited understanding) is that even having the policy is a violation of the NLRA even if the policy not enforced.

Apparently they hired an HR consultant who told them to add that statement and the consultant's response to my concern (it got forwarded to them) was 'oh, that must be something Obama did'.

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Cyrano4747
Sep 25, 2006

Yes, I know I'm old, get off my fucking lawn so I can yell at these clouds.

Tezer posted:

My work is refreshing the employee manual and added a policy that is pretty clearly against NLRB guidance regarding the right of employees to discuss compensation with each other. I mentioned that they probably wanted to pull it, since (my limited understanding) is that even having the policy is a violation of the NLRA even if the policy not enforced.

Apparently they hired an HR consultant who told them to add that statement and the consultant's response to my concern (it got forwarded to them) was 'oh, that must be something Obama did'.

Dumb poo poo your work does - Oh, that must be something Obama did

Machai
Feb 21, 2013

Thanks FDR Obama!

Neito
Feb 18, 2009

😌Finally, an avatar the describes my love of tech❤️‍💻, my love of anime💖🎎, and why I'll never see a real girl 🙆‍♀️naked😭.

Our new company, as part of the acquisition: We promise we're not going to force a return-to-office; you've always had a culture of work from home whenever, and we're not going to interrupt that.
My VP, last week during an all-hands: I expect everyone to be in the office every tuesday and wednesday starting in September.
The entire support department: *starts prepping resumes*

Zil
Jun 4, 2011

Satanically Summoned Citrus


Neito posted:

Our new company, as part of the acquisition: We promise we're not going to force a return-to-office; you've always had a culture of work from home whenever, and we're not going to interrupt that.
My VP, last week during an all-hands: I expect everyone to be in the office every tuesday and wednesday starting in September.
The entire support department: *starts prepping resumes*

How many years do you think it will take companies to realize that switching an all from home work force to an in office one always backfires?

Neito
Feb 18, 2009

😌Finally, an avatar the describes my love of tech❤️‍💻, my love of anime💖🎎, and why I'll never see a real girl 🙆‍♀️naked😭.

Zil posted:

How many years do you think it will take companies to realize that switching an all from home work force to an in office one always backfires?

The irony is we're a UCaaS company that heavily advertises that our product lets you work from anywhere.

boar guy
Jan 25, 2007

every single admonishment from the CEO that "you lose something" by not being in the office is a reminder that you're mostly paid for your personality and willingness to go along to get along than you are for what you know how to do. giving the sales failure chucklefucks something seemingly important yet ultimately unconsequential to discuss in a meeting for two hours elevates everyone from the youtube surfing they'd be doing otherwise, sure. but you don't get paid more...

bring the cost per lead down 90% but don't get up at 5 AM to drive 110 miles to a meaningless 7:30 allhands that lasts twelve minutes? I DUB THEE NOT A TEAM PLAYER

Neito
Feb 18, 2009

😌Finally, an avatar the describes my love of tech❤️‍💻, my love of anime💖🎎, and why I'll never see a real girl 🙆‍♀️naked😭.

boar guy posted:

every single admonishment from the CEO that "you lose something" by not being in the office is a reminder that you're mostly paid for your personality and willingness to go along to get along than you are for what you know how to do. giving the sales failure chucklefucks something seemingly important yet ultimately unconsequential to discuss in a meeting for two hours elevates everyone from the youtube surfing they'd be doing otherwise, sure. but you don't get paid more...

bring the cost per lead down 90% but don't get up at 5 AM to drive 110 miles to a meaningless 7:30 allhands that lasts twelve minutes? I DUB THEE NOT A TEAM PLAYER

I'd be fine with "I want to see people in the office, let's set up a thing so we can collab", but a blind "Yeah, you need to be in the office two days a week" is the dumbest poo poo.

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.


Grimey Drawer
There is a big difference between "I want you in the office so we can..." and "I want you to be in the office."

boar guy
Jan 25, 2007

i reminded my CEO once on a call with the whole management team that i said in my interview "i will never work in an office again" and he was...not happy

Hyrax Attack!
Jan 13, 2009

We demand to be taken seriously

Hey we see you fulfilled our high priority request the same day and we've had zero complaints from users. But when we were looking at how our item was set up, we scrolled past our item and saw a copy with a giant label "DO NOT LAUNCH THIS IS FOR TESTING PURPOSES" that isn't visible to end users and when we launched it was acting weird. We assume this is the final version, explain yourself immediately.

MrQwerty
Apr 15, 2003
Probation
Can't post for 6 hours!
They gave night shift Sunday off and made us go to work last night. Last night was also the first time in 2 years that the Balloon Fiesta Park, which is 1/4 mile away, held a fireworks show, which ended around 9:30-10. You know, when I clock in to work.

On my second circle of the perimeter I pulled up to the traffic blockade and asked a cop how I could get 500 feet west of that blockade to clock into work, and he told me, "Your best bet is to go to Tramway/Roy on 25," and I asked him, "did you just tell me I have to drive out of town to a reservation to go 500 feet west from where you are standing?"

I ended up driving two giant circles across town into the valley before they finally pulled the roadblock on the exit I could use to go the back way onto the road my building is on, and I ended up getting stuck in traffic for 5 minutes there, 100 feet from the parking lot entrance, while another person stopped and asked for directions. I started trying to go to work at 9:20PM and finally got into the parking lot 5 minutes late. According to my plant director I will not be getting written up for this since it was a known issue, but we'll see what my WFH HR has to say about that because she's not on board with letting anything slide.

Note that we brought up 2 weeks ago that everyone was going to be late for work if they made us come in on Monday, since the city were already sending out notices that basically said that block was going to be permanently inaccessible until after the show, and they did it anyway.

MrQwerty fucked around with this message at 17:00 on Jul 5, 2022

fresh_cheese
Jul 2, 2014

MY KPI IS HOW MANY VP NUTS I SUCK IN A FISCAL YEAR AND MY LAST THREE OFFICE CHAIRS COMMITTED SUICIDE

MrQwerty posted:

Buncha bulllllll shiiiit…


Sounds like somebody should have known to drive in 4 hours earlier so they could start their shift on time.


to burn that shithole down

DiHK
Feb 4, 2013

by Azathoth

Escape From Noise posted:

Using recycled water probably isn't a bad thing. Brewing uses a lot of it and we're probably going to run out soon.

All water is recycled.

Ichabod Sexbeast
Dec 5, 2011

Giving 'em the old razzle-dazzle

DiHK posted:

All water is recycled.

Lol if you don't get Enrique to bring you purestrain water

vyst
Aug 25, 2009



Organic, free range H2O only for my pristine goon body

TotalLossBrain
Oct 20, 2010

Hier graben!
Personally, I bring containers of H2 and O2 everywhere and make water on an as-need basis. Just-in-time manufacturing if you will

blackmet
Aug 5, 2006

I believe there is a universal Truth to the process of doing things right (Not that I have any idea what that actually means).
Today was my first day doing reconciliation reports.

I want to smash things. Thanks for giving me a procedure that hasn't been updated since 2018 (it still makes reference to printing out and initialing things for chrissakes), having everything that you use strewn about in 6 different folders, and giving me approximately 1 hour of training.

I have no idea what I did or if it was done correctly.

satanic splash-back
Jan 28, 2009

blackmet posted:

Today was my first day doing reconciliation reports.

I want to smash things. Thanks for giving me a procedure that hasn't been updated since 2018 (it still makes reference to printing out and initialing things for chrissakes), having everything that you use strewn about in 6 different folders, and giving me approximately 1 hour of training.

I have no idea what I did or if it was done correctly.

In my brief experience doing the same, this appears to be a standard procedure across multiple industries.

Zil
Jun 4, 2011

Satanically Summoned Citrus


Neito posted:

The irony is we're a UCaaS company that heavily advertises that our product lets you work from anywhere.

:psyboom:

blackmet
Aug 5, 2006

I believe there is a universal Truth to the process of doing things right (Not that I have any idea what that actually means).

satanic splash-back posted:

In my brief experience doing the same, this appears to be a standard procedure across multiple industries.

Good to know I'm not alone!

Now off to do the 60 step process to make sure we're not going to fall out of service level!

SubponticatePoster
Aug 9, 2004

Every day takes figurin' out all over again how to fuckin' live.
Slippery Tilde

vyst posted:

Organic, free range H2O only for my pristine goon body
Keep in mind that "raw water" is a thing :shepicide:

blackmet posted:

Today was my first day doing reconciliation reports.

I want to smash things. Thanks for giving me a procedure that hasn't been updated since 2018 (it still makes reference to printing out and initialing things for chrissakes), having everything that you use strewn about in 6 different folders, and giving me approximately 1 hour of training.

I have no idea what I did or if it was done correctly.
This is about 90% of what I do, really stupid processes that nobody can explain why they're done the way they are (or why they're done at all) and "training" usually involves digging around in past employees' folders to see if they took any kind of notes.

Crackbone
May 23, 2003

Vlaada is my co-pilot.

Mgmt: “We have to get user data growth under control.”
Us: “Here’s a report that 50% of the files on our shares haven’t been opened for two years.”
Mgmt: “We can’t delete that stuff! What if they need it?”

Zil
Jun 4, 2011

Satanically Summoned Citrus


Crackbone posted:

Mgmt: “We have to get user data growth under control.”
Us: “Here’s a report that 50% of the files on our shares haven’t been opened for two years.”
Mgmt: “We can’t delete that stuff! What if they need it?”



Retention policy what is that?

Kuiperdolin
Sep 5, 2011

to ride eternal, shiny and chrome

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2022

What is this, the 90s? Buy a drat HDD

Machai
Feb 21, 2013

TotalLossBrain posted:

Personally, I bring containers of H2 and O2 everywhere and make water on an as-need basis. Just-in-time manufacturing if you will

You drink hydrogen peroxide?

Poil
Mar 17, 2007

Crackbone posted:

Mgmt: “We have to get user data growth under control.”
Us: “Here’s a report that 50% of the files on our shares haven’t been opened for two years.”
Mgmt: “We can’t delete that stuff! What if they need it?”


Do you trust them to manage to delete the correct files? :shepface:

champagne posting
Apr 5, 2006

YOU ARE A BRAIN
IN A BUNKER

Poil posted:

Do you trust them to manage to delete the correct files? :shepface:

You trust them with files???

Methylethylaldehyde
Oct 23, 2004

BAKA BAKA

Poil posted:

Do you trust them to manage to delete the correct files? :shepface:

I trust them to whatever they want, then blame them for not reading the Employee handbook page that says all business critical files must be backed up using *process that takes 500x longer than I needs to*. End of the day "I tried to recover the files but due to retention policies was unsuccessful, sorry boss' boss' boss.".

champagne posting
Apr 5, 2006

YOU ARE A BRAIN
IN A BUNKER

Methylethylaldehyde posted:

I trust them to whatever they want, then blame them for not reading the Employee handbook page that says all business critical files must be backed up using *process that takes 500x longer than I needs to*. End of the day "I tried to recover the files but due to retention policies was unsuccessful, sorry boss' boss' boss.".

Don't worry when someone actually attempts to restore a file you will be long gone

Escape From Noise
Jul 27, 2004

Just got a bird in my malt. Fortunately it was at the bottom of the bag so I was able to pick it out well before it got near the rollers of the mill...

champagne posting
Apr 5, 2006

YOU ARE A BRAIN
IN A BUNKER

Escape From Noise posted:

Just got a bird in my malt. Fortunately it was at the bottom of the bag so I was able to pick it out well before it got near the rollers of the mill...

A bird in the hand and all that

CarForumPoster
Jun 26, 2013

⚡POWER⚡

Crackbone posted:

Mgmt: “We have to get user data growth under control.”
Us: “Here’s a report that 50% of the files on our shares haven’t been opened for two years.”
Mgmt: “We can’t delete that stuff! What if they need it?”



Can you just move the files to some low cost of storage, higher cost to retrieve file store? Like S3 Glacier or some on prem thing with a bunch of hard drives?

EDIT: Sorry its early and I thought I was in a diff thread

Machai
Feb 21, 2013

Just print the files out and put them in a storage closet somewhere

Sywert of Thieves
Nov 7, 2005

The pirate code is really more of a guideline, than actual rules.

Escape From Noise posted:

Just got a bird in my malt. Fortunately it was at the bottom of the bag so I was able to pick it out well before it got near the rollers of the mill...

Missed opportunity to include it in the brewing process and finally break into the market with a successful gimmick!

Cthulu Carl
Apr 16, 2006

Sywert of Thieves posted:

Missed opportunity to include it in the brewing process and finally break into the market with a successful gimmick!

Some types of mezcal have a worm in them, there's some bar in like Canada or Alaska that has a drink that contains a mummified toe, why can't we have a bird beer?!

TheSpartacus
Oct 30, 2010
HEY GUYS I'VE FLOWN HELICOPTERS IN THIS GAME BEFORE AND I AM AN EXPERT. ALSO, HOW DO I START THE ENGINE?

Machai posted:

Just print the files out and put them in a storage closet somewhere

Just delete them and never tell anyone. No one will ever ask.

MrQwerty
Apr 15, 2003
Probation
Can't post for 6 hours!

fresh_cheese posted:

Sounds like somebody should have known to drive in 4 hours earlier so they could start their shift on time.


to burn that shithole down

The benefits are excellent, my severance is gonna be good, and I have a job lined up in April so it's not even worth my time to try and onboard somewhere else, especially because I'm a manufacturing operator; just gotta wait it out and watch a plant hurtling toward shutdown... be a plant hurtling toward shutdown.

Escape From Noise
Jul 27, 2004

Cthulu Carl posted:

Some types of mezcal have a worm in them, there's some bar in like Canada or Alaska that has a drink that contains a mummified toe, why can't we have a bird beer?!

Sywert of Thieves posted:

Missed opportunity to include it in the brewing process and finally break into the market with a successful gimmick!

I see you haven't heard of cock ale.

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Cthulu Carl
Apr 16, 2006

Escape From Noise posted:

I see you haven't heard of cock ale.

Bring! It! Back!

Bring! It! Back!

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