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I told friends and family in person after the first trimester, and a few friends in confidence earlier than that so I'd have people to vent to about early pregnancy poo poo. I generally announced on social media after 20 weeks. But I'm not a particularly private person, and don't mind discussing potentially tragic outcomes. It's very up to the individual, I think, and also up to how much you trust family and friends not to spread it around if you want to keep it private.
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Jun 20, 2022 15:45
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thunderdome winner
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WrenP-Complete posted:Amen! My wife uses Ovia and gets them in email form. Related, we just crossed into the third trimester today, with baby the size of a coconut. We had a trisomy scare early on in the pregnancy with an oversized nuchal translucency, but the NIPT came back clean, nasal bone developed normally, and the nuchal translucency resolved not long after that ultrasound. The only ongoing problem is that my wife has been spotting on and off for the entire pregnancy and it sends her into a panic that she's losing it every single time. Hoping our little bug keeps growing in time for the planned 39 week induction.
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Jun 20, 2022 22:21
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Thank you for the recommendations. I am going with Expecting Better and You are a loving Awesome Mom for now. We have the Mayo Clinic one on audiobook but I think that would probably read better on hard copy. e: My wife uses the Ovia app too and it seems good enough so far Sleepytime fucked around with this message at 15:20 on Jun 21, 2022 |
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Jun 21, 2022 14:26
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WrenP-Complete posted:Amen! I used the Ovia app. It has comparisons to animal sizes and vegetables and stuff and you can choose which one you want to see. I honestly can’t imagine not getting any baby stuff before the baby is born. I had to buy the vast majority of baby things myself, as I had a very small baby shower due to Covid. Heck, my father in law to this day has never given my kid a single gift through 2 Chrismases and a birthday. (I’m not counting the fishing reel he bought and claimed was for her.) My own dad has only ever given her a card. It would be really amazing to have a family/community that came together like that so you wouldn’t have to worry about all the stuff to buy. Do you still do registries though so people can buy you the stuff you want and bring it over once baby is born? I like to prepare thoroughly in advance, so I got our nursery together on my own in the couple months before my due date. Does the community also put everything together for you? I hope so! I can’t imagine having to put together a crib and a change table and a dresser on the first day home from the hospital with a newborn. It’s so great that you don’t have to worry about all that stuff. What a supportive community!
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Jun 21, 2022 15:50
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Here we don't do baby showers/registeries/assorted pre-baby gifts but have government supplied baby boxes and they are loving awesome.
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Jun 21, 2022 16:39
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Doll House Ghost posted:Here we don't do baby showers/registeries/assorted pre-baby gifts but have government supplied baby boxes and they are loving awesome. Rub it in. Happiest country in the world, over there.
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Jun 21, 2022 16:50
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I didn't realize how much I wanted a girl until we found out it's a boy. I know disappointment over the baby's sex is common and it's OK to feel sad and blah blah blah. I still feel a little bit like a bad mom and a bad feminist, but I'm starting to get over it. What I'm having trouble dealing with is my male family members' reactions. I wish I hadn't told anyone, because I'm struggling to deal with their excitement specifically because we're having a boy (and the only grandson on either side) and it makes me feel super gross. Like, I don't think my dad would have said "finally, way to go!!" if it were a girl. I don't even communicate with my brother-in-law directly normally because he's an rear end in a top hat but now he's started messaging me excitedly and I hate it. I'm not going to name him after you, moron! I'm just ignoring their messages for now. I feel like I don't even want to reply to my dad, which feels bad because I live an ocean away from my whole family. I just feel hurt on top of the disappointment I was already feeling. I know it's a bit hypocritical to feel this way. Obviously I can't control others' reactions but I'm having big feelings about sex and gender and the way society treats people differently based on something pretty random. I know it's super early, but I think it would help me if I could start envisioning how I want to raise him. There are a lot of newish books out there about raising boys specifically but I wondered if any of you had reading recommendations. Sorry if this post is disjointed, I'm melting in the heat + hormones and I really think a couple of nice cold beers would solve like 65% of my feelings right now but no... midori-a-gogo fucked around with this message at 17:03 on Jun 23, 2022 |
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Jun 23, 2022 16:54
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I'm having my second boy later this year and I'm also dealing with a lot of disappointment. All my life I pictured a daughter when I imagined being a parent and I'm grieving the fact that I will probably never experience that. Some things that I am trying to keep in mind: -as feminists probably the most important, revolutionary thing we can do for society is raise good men with emotional vocabularies -their genitals/chromosomes may not eventually align with their gender identity -with my son, I can embrace him being cuddly and soft and sensitive unequivocally. I love so much when he is just sweet and snuggly. With a girl I might feel more conflicted about embracing those attributes because I would want her to be "tough". Sorry about your family's reactions being tough to deal with. I think you should feel absolutely free to tell anyone else who asks that you aren't finding out the sex. Also, have a beer! Emily Oster says we should be comfortable with one drink/week in the first trimester and one drink/day in the second and third trimesters. (I personally still wouldn't have that much but I do have an occasional drink and do not feel bad about it.)
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Jun 25, 2022 09:35
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Alternatively there are a ton of non-alcoholic beers out this summer and actually they’re pretty good? I was legit surprised. Check out the bougiest grocery store nearby and you might be happy with what you find! But also no judgement if you want to have a little of the real stuff. So long as you don’t feel drunk and you’re keeping it to those levels boquiabierta is talking about you’re probably fine.
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Jun 25, 2022 15:47
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I’m not even pregnant right now and I still sometimes pick up Athletic Brewing Co. stuff because these kids make me too tired to drink real beer. It’s pretty good.
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Jun 25, 2022 17:32
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Hey, anybody have advice for dealing with being twin pregnant? Ours are fine but my wife is having pains because of the two jerks inside of her, and I want all to feel good
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Jun 26, 2022 05:19
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boquiabierta posted:Also, have a beer! Emily Oster says we should be comfortable with one drink/week in the first trimester and one drink/day in the second and third trimesters. (I personally still wouldn't have that much but I do have an occasional drink and do not feel bad about it.) Learning about the studies and the way other cultures handle drinking while pregnant was super interesting. I don't really drink anymore but I was attending SO many weddings while I was pregnant (for me at least - literally four of the six weddings I've attended in my life were while I was pregnant!) and I just wanted a little champagne to celebrate my friends. midori-a-gogo posted:I didn't realize how much I wanted a girl until we found out it's a boy. I felt that too! I remember being a little disappointed once I found out I was having a boy and being surprised by that feeling because I *thought* that I believed what I'd been saying to people when they asked what I wanted - I didn't really care as long as it was a healthy, happy child. Surprise! I actually wanted a girl. My little boy is awesome though so I'm super stoked to have such a sweet, funny, cute kid.
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Jul 18, 2022 20:28
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Yeah half a glass of red wine with a heavy dinner is probably not the end of the world in many cases. I would not do it at a restaurant though Alcohol in the first 6 weeks after conception is what fucks with gene expression and cause abnormalities etc, especially in the first 4-10 days after conception; after the first 6-12 weeks most of the really important stuff is set in stone and the impact of alcohol drops off and risk declines dramatically By the third trimester the baby is mostly developed and just in growth mode packing on fat to survive the first few weeks on the outside From what I've read, anyways, I'm not a doctor I think in general the idea is to minimize the number of pregnant women getting blackout drunk two to three times a week, which they've mostly succeeded in preventing.
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Jul 18, 2022 21:10
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I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest that instead of consulting goons and edge lord economists, you guys just ask your doctors.
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Jul 19, 2022 11:20
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2DEG posted:I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest that instead of consulting goons and edge lord economists, you guys just ask your doctors. Emily Oster is a health economist with poor data analysis techniques, generally insufficient understanding of the data she is attempting to analyze, an axe to sharpen with every published paper, and an enormous pulpit She is an economist that has delivered absolutely dreadful health advice throughout her career. This thread isn't about Sars-COV2 but as an example of her intellectual dishonesty (deliberate or accidental) she has argued against masks, against against masks in schools, arguing that 3' is as good as 6' for school social distancing, argued that spread is schools did not happen, before there were even vaccines available. She has been funded by the Mercatus Center, which is a Koch / Peter Thiel institution. Make of that what you will. https://twitter.com/CM01647759/status/1370155895775199232?s=20 The 3' vs 6' has data analysis problems you could drive a truck through and is widely refuted by numerous studies in other countries, but was used as a driving force to re-open public schools in the US - note that her children do not attend public school, but a private school with considerably more mitigation measures, and that she worked from home. The paper that initially brought her into the public eye was Hepatitis B and the Case of the Missing Women which turned out to be entirely incorrect and is a fine measure of the absolute garbage that she trots out to the applause of those agreeable to her opinion and for those who find it suits their own purposes. Her book about pregnancy best practices has received a lot of criticism;this review shines a some light on her "process". There are some pretty interesting quotes about her approach and motivation for the book.  The study she quotes to support her opinion is not sufficient to draw the conclusion that she comes to and there are many better sources (such as FAS specialist doctors, pediatricians or your own doctors, regarding this issue.
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Jul 23, 2022 15:23
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Random question for folks in here who've had epidurals--did you notice a change in how you reacted to local anesthetics, like at the dentist, after? When I got fillings earlier this year and when I had implant surgery yesterday, for a few minutes after they did the shot for the local it was like my blood pressure dropped and I felt sort of woozy. It passed by the time they were actually drilling into my jaw and I was fine, but it's weird. I don't think this used to happen, although maybe it did and I've just forgotten? It's also a new dentist since my old one didn't put in implants, but idk.
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Jul 27, 2022 18:19
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10 weeks preg.  How do you deal with first trimester anxiety? My first ultrasound isn't until 13 weeks, and my stupid brain has decided that this has been all too easy, so something must be wrong. I don't want to tell my family or friends yet, so I'm just stewing. My husband is very understanding and reminded me that there isn't really anything we can do except wait but I feel hyperaware of my body all the time and it sucks.
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Jul 31, 2022 20:01
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I had an early miscarriage with my first pregnancy. I decided from then on that anyone I’d want to help me through that would find out very early in my subsequent pregnancies. The hyper-awareness of my body never really went away, or the OMG WHAT IS THAT about contractions or cramps or discharge or whatever, but it did get more bearable with time? The first scan helped a lot, and so did my constant litany of symptoms / illness. I sort of developed a mantra about how if I felt sick or stretchy or (later) the baby jabbing me, it was actually a good thing.
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Jul 31, 2022 23:23
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I’m 22 weeks and I’ve been getting Braxton Hicks now for a while. They’re not painful but they do come with an intense feeling of physical anxiety (chest tightness, nausea). Ughhhh this half of the pregnancy is going to go much slower than the first half I fear. Also it is way too loving hot.
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Aug 2, 2022 17:28
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When does the morning sickness end? My doctor says I'm at the edge of needing to be hospitalized because I'm losing weight. I'm taking Reglan and occasional Zofran and I've gone from vomiting 30 times a day to around 12. I'm eating small frequent meals, drinking tea and ginger ale, vitamin B supplements, unisom at night, and tums seems to help. Any other tips? I'm getting very tired of throwing up.
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Aug 5, 2022 04:35
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Ideally starts tapering off around week 12-16, sometimes into the 20s? Try dousing your meals in olive oil, that's fairly taste neutral, and packs a ton of calories. One oz is about the equivalent of eating a Snickers bar As someone with a boat, can confirm ginger snaps are wildly effective. Trader Joe's makes astoundingly good ones, with real ginger
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Aug 5, 2022 04:55
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boquiabierta posted:I’m 22 weeks and I’ve been getting Braxton Hicks now for a while. They’re not painful but they do come with an intense feeling of physical anxiety (chest tightness, nausea). Ughhhh this half of the pregnancy is going to go much slower than the first half I fear. Also it is way too loving hot. That’s exactly how my BH felt, starting at week 20. I would feel anxious for no reason, then the BH would kick in, and my chest would get tight and it would almost feel like panic. Multiple times a day for the next 20 weeks… No advice, but you’re not alone!
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Aug 5, 2022 15:37
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WrenP-Complete posted:When does the morning sickness end? My doctor says I'm at the edge of needing to be hospitalized because I'm losing weight. I'm taking Reglan and occasional Zofran and I've gone from vomiting 30 times a day to around 12. I'm eating small frequent meals, drinking tea and ginger ale, vitamin B supplements, unisom at night, and tums seems to help. Any other tips? I'm getting very tired of throwing up. My friend who had hyperemesis was helped a lot by Zofran daily. I think there used to be fear about it being potentially harmful to a pregnancy but that's been disproven and it's considered quite safe now. Maybe try regular instead of occasional use? Phenergan (promethazine) is also quite safe though sleepy-making. Of course, discuss all meds with your provider. Best of luck, constant nausea and vomiting are awful  Koivunen posted:That’s exactly how my BH felt, starting at week 20. I would feel anxious for no reason, then the BH would kick in, and my chest would get tight and it would almost feel like panic. Multiple times a day for the next 20 weeks… Thank you! It's always nice to hear that I'm not the only one... I think mine started at week 20 too.
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Aug 5, 2022 17:32
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WrenP-Complete posted:When does the morning sickness end? My doctor says I'm at the edge of needing to be hospitalized because I'm losing weight. I'm taking Reglan and occasional Zofran and I've gone from vomiting 30 times a day to around 12. I'm eating small frequent meals, drinking tea and ginger ale, vitamin B supplements, unisom at night, and tums seems to help. Any other tips? I'm getting very tired of throwing up. I had hyperemesis and without medication puked from day 1 until day of delivery. In the first 20 weeks I had weekly IV infusions of liquid / nutrients that helped a TON. I also was on daily diclegis (I guess there’s something even better now??) that kept the vomiting at bay as long as I took it religiously. Zofran regularly too. But see if you can get those regular infusions going to help stabilize you? My OB put in standing orders for me to get them at the infusion center at the hospital when I needed it.
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Aug 6, 2022 02:20
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cailleask posted:I had hyperemesis and without medication puked from day 1 until day of delivery. In the first 20 weeks I had weekly IV infusions of liquid / nutrients that helped a TON. I also was on daily diclegis (I guess there’s something even better now??) that kept the vomiting at bay as long as I took it religiously. Zofran regularly too. But see if you can get those regular infusions going to help stabilize you? My OB put in standing orders for me to get them at the infusion center at the hospital when I needed it. Bonjesta is the new (-er) slow release version. I did the poor man's diclegis (unisom + b6) for my first pregnancy and Bonjesta the second time around. Waaaaay less sleepiness on the good poo poo.
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Aug 6, 2022 02:32
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2DEG posted:Bonjesta is the new (-er) slow release version. I did the poor man's diclegis (unisom + b6) for my first pregnancy and Bonjesta the second time around. Waaaaay less sleepiness on the good poo poo. Thanks everyone! I'm now on everything on a schedule and the doctor has also prescribed Omeprazole. Hopefully this helps.
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Aug 10, 2022 04:20
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Crossposting this very important PSA, especially for new/to be parentsHadlock posted:My sister in law is visiting for a few days with her 3 month old who has been whining non stop last couple of days
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Aug 15, 2022 06:25
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Hadlock posted:Crossposting this very important PSA, especially for new/to be parents Also gripe water. And the bicycle method!
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Aug 19, 2022 11:51
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Doll House Ghost posted:10 weeks preg. Quoting myself: Had the ultrasound, everything's ok. Couldn't stop thinking "there's a tiny skull growing inside of me" during the ultrasound, which feels absolutely mad. 
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Aug 20, 2022 11:14
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Just think about all the teeth in that tiny skull.
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Aug 20, 2022 11:57
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Doll House Ghost posted:Quoting myself: Had the ultrasound, everything's ok. Couldn't stop thinking "there's a tiny skull growing inside of me" during the ultrasound, which feels absolutely mad. Nice! I remember when my wife had her ultrasounds it made me feel a bit better about everything. It's weird how much variability there can be in pregnancy checkups. My wife's obstetrician has a first appointment where they do an ultrasound and say "yup you're pregnant, come back in 2 weeks", then do another one on the second visit. So she had one at 7 weeks and one at 9 weeks, which are both pretty early. I've got a copy of them and the 7 weeks one looks hilarious, little dude looks like a gummy bear with a giant elongated head.
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Aug 21, 2022 17:03
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Yeah, here they are at 11-13 weeks and second one at 19-22 weeks. You could go private and pay 200€ for an early ultrasound but ehhh. There's also 8 scheduled nurse visits and 2 doctor visits during pregnancy, and three afterwards.
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Aug 22, 2022 07:47
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My obgyn does the first ultrasound at 8 weeks, then the 20 week anatomy scan and one during the third trimester. I was flagged as high risk, so I also got monthly ultrasound checkups in addition to monthly obgyn visits. During my last month of pregnancy, I was scheduled for weekly ultrasounds (which I never got because he was born a month early lol). I'm extremely prone to worrying about anything and everything, and honestly it was very reassuring to be repeatedly told that everything was perfectly fine. My favorite was week 32, we saw him smile and then immediately stick his entire hand in his mouth 
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Aug 22, 2022 17:17
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Failed my glucose screening. 220. I’m so upset about it even though the doc says no diagnosis yet and I don’t need to change my diet now, only after we see the results of the three hour test. I feel like I’ve never learned how to feed myself in a healthy sustainable way and I’ve been on track to develop diabetes for years, and that’s what’s happening here more than gestational diabetes. I’m just so mad at myself. I’ve seen how much babies of diabetic moms can struggle with regulating their blood sugar and I will not be able to forgive myself if my kiddo suffers because of my poor lifestyle choices. gently caress. I’m so down. Not to mention potentially not having comfort food for the rest of the pregnancy. I literally do not know what to eat.
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Sep 1, 2022 14:17
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Did your doc refer you to a nutritionist? They ought to be able to walk you through a set of 10+ meal plans
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Sep 1, 2022 19:45
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boquiabierta posted:Failed my glucose screening. 220. I’m so upset about it even though the doc says no diagnosis yet and I don’t need to change my diet now, only after we see the results of the three hour test. Lots of people fail the screener and go on to pass the actual diagnostic test with flying colors. The screener needs to catch every single person that has GD because it can be real bad if it doesn't. So in order to do this it also flags a lot of people that don't have GD to do the actual three hour diagnostic test because having a bunch of people have to do that test that don't have GD is vasty preferable to the challenge test failing to flag even one person that actually has it for further testing. I also got sent to the three hour test after the screener and my doctor said my three hour results were "about the most perfect glucose numbers she's ever seen" so do not fret yet.
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Sep 1, 2022 19:58
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Yeah, I know it's meant to catch false positives to make sure no one doesn't get diagnosed who should. But I feel like my number was high enough (220) that it's not going to be an error. Does anyone know if that's true? Can the number for the 1 hour screen be really high and someone still pass the 3 hour, or is there a point at which the 1 hour number can basically be diagnostic on its own? I know I still have to take the 3 hour to be properly diagnosed but it just feels perfunctory.
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Sep 2, 2022 12:46
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My wife's number for the preliminary test was high, then she did the 3 hour test and everything came back pretty much in the middle of normal. I wouldn't freak out just yet.
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Sep 2, 2022 14:22
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nesbit37 posted:My wife's number for the preliminary test was high, then she did the 3 hour test and everything came back pretty much in the middle of normal. I wouldn't freak out just yet. same here
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Sep 2, 2022 15:46
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Update: I may have finally turned a corner on this whole morning sickness business, thank goodness. Also my little sister is due with her first 6 days before me!
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Sep 2, 2022 17:30
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