READ OP! War in Ukraine: a distressed blender making too many margaritas at once

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > READ OP! War in Ukraine: a distressed blender making too many margaritas at once

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Paracausal: Sep 5, 2011; Oh yeah, baby. Frame your suffering as a masterpiece. Only one problem - no one's watching. It's boring, buddy, boring as death.

Good thread talking about how much explosives you'd need to do this kind of damage
https://twitter.com/WarintheFuture/status/1578617208468819968

# ? Oct 8, 2022 07:23

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# ? Jun 4, 2024 03:07

Hamelekim: Feb 25, 2006; And another thing... if global warming is real. How come it's so damn cold?; Ramrod XTreme

The actual explosion caught on camera.

Edit: Not sure if this is fake or not.
Cinci edit: sure as hell people are dying there :nms:

https://twitter.com/BNONews/status/1578632518307545089

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Somebody fucked around with this message at 12:09 on Oct 8, 2022

# ? Oct 8, 2022 07:26

distortion park: Apr 25, 2011

If the damage to the rail side is mainly from the burning train, it seems unlikely it's going to be out of commission for very long.

# ? Oct 8, 2022 07:26

nimby: Nov 4, 2009; The pinnacle of cloud computing.

Do trains on the rail bridge have a low speed limit? Or do the trains drive over them mostly empty? The train seems to be stopped almost directly next to the damaged section of road bridge.

Even with a missile strike or an explosive planted on the rails/train somewhere, that makes little sense to me, do Russian trains not have inertia?

Not trying to be a train-truther or whatever, I just don't understand the claim of how Ukraine caught a passing train and it immediately stopped without derailing.

# ? Oct 8, 2022 07:26

TescoBag: Dec 2, 2009; Oh god, not again.

Hamelekim posted:

The actual explosion caught on camera.
Cinci edit: sure as hell people are dying there

https://twitter.com/BNONews/status/1578632518307545089

Wow, that is a hell of a pop.

If the fire continues then that rail bridge is also at risk, which would be pretty huge.

The surveillance videos being out surely must be some sort of security breach?

Somebody fucked around with this message at 12:10 on Oct 8, 2022

# ? Oct 8, 2022 07:27

FishBulbia: Dec 22, 2021

Wow, so it was a suicide bombing? I guess you could RC it but...

# ? Oct 8, 2022 07:29

Hamelekim: Feb 25, 2006; And another thing... if global warming is real. How come it's so damn cold?; Ramrod XTreme

Another security video.
Cinci edit: sure as hell people are dying there :nms:

https://twitter.com/RALee85/status/1578632595633758208?s=20&t=EHBFm3irvfcnguY2nGPZRA

Somebody fucked around with this message at 12:11 on Oct 8, 2022

# ? Oct 8, 2022 07:30

Hamelekim: Feb 25, 2006; And another thing... if global warming is real. How come it's so damn cold?; Ramrod XTreme

FishBulbia posted:

Wow, so it was a suicide bombing? I guess you could RC it but...

Haven't you watched episodes of Mythbusters where they rig a car with remote steering? They could have been driving behind it with a mannequin in the drivers seat.

# ? Oct 8, 2022 07:33

Youth Decay: Aug 18, 2015

FishBulbia posted:

Wow, so it was a suicide bombing? I guess you could RC it but...

The amount of explosives needed to do this wouldn't fit in one vehicle. Have to think it was a missile.

# ? Oct 8, 2022 07:34

FishBulbia: Dec 22, 2021

Hamelekim posted:

Haven't you watched episodes of Mythbusters where they rig a car with remote steering? They could have been driving behind it with a mannequin in the drivers seat.

There are cars trailing it.

It also looks like a car tries to pass it and is vaporized so Im not buying the no casualties claim

# ? Oct 8, 2022 07:34

FishBulbia: Dec 22, 2021

Youth Decay posted:

The amount of explosives needed to do this wouldn't fit in one vehicle. Have to think it was a missile.

Okay I'm not an expert, but aren't warheads usually a lot smaller than semi trucks?

# ? Oct 8, 2022 07:35

Mr. Apollo: Nov 8, 2000

FishBulbia posted:

Wow, so it was a suicide bombing? I guess you could RC it but...

Maybe there was a driver who got out and the last several hundred feet was done remotely.

# ? Oct 8, 2022 07:35

Tomn: Aug 23, 2007; And the angel said unto him
"Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself."
But lo he could not. For the angel was hitting him with his own hands

FishBulbia posted:

Wow, so it was a suicide bombing? I guess you could RC it but...

Yeah I was gonna say, �Oh yeah, they can just slip over the border speaking Russian and buy a truck� is plausible enough, but if that�s how they did it what could their exfiltration strategy have been? Leaving a truck parked up in the middle of a bridge as long as that would have seemed mighty suspicious, and transferring to another car and gunning it at the last minute pretty risky.

# ? Oct 8, 2022 07:35

Paracausal: Sep 5, 2011; Oh yeah, baby. Frame your suffering as a masterpiece. Only one problem - no one's watching. It's boring, buddy, boring as death.

another angle
Cinci edit: sure as hell people are dying there :nms:

https://twitter.com/KevinRothrock/status/1578632558153437184

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Somebody fucked around with this message at 12:13 on Oct 8, 2022

# ? Oct 8, 2022 07:37

Youth Decay: Aug 18, 2015

FishBulbia posted:

Okay I'm not an expert, but aren't warheads usually a lot smaller than semi trucks?

Yeah on second thought the semi truck is more likely, I was thinking of passenger cars. Just a hell of an operation to pull off though.

# ? Oct 8, 2022 07:37

spankmeister: Jun 15, 2008

Owling Howl posted:

Presumably they would walk across the border with some explosives, buy a truck and put the explosives on it and then drive to the bridge. It sounds very dumb but does it seem implasuible knowing what we now about Russia after reading this thread for 8 months?

Lmao. "Some" explosives. That's a massive explosion, not an amount you just carry with you.

e: missed the new page.

# ? Oct 8, 2022 07:37

FishBulbia: Dec 22, 2021

Paracausal posted:

another angle
Cinci edit: sure as hell people are dying there

https://twitter.com/KevinRothrock/status/1578632558153437184

hmm, in the second angle there seems to be a wake or wave under the bridge right before the blast

Somebody fucked around with this message at 12:15 on Oct 8, 2022

# ? Oct 8, 2022 07:40

Mr. Apollo: Nov 8, 2000

Tomn posted:

Yeah I was gonna say, �Oh yeah, they can just slip over the border speaking Russian and buy a truck� is plausible enough, but if that�s how they did it what could their exfiltration strategy have been? Leaving a truck parked up in the middle of a bridge as long as that would have seemed mighty suspicious, and transferring to another car and gunning it at the last minute pretty risky.

Maybe there was a Special Forces team waiting near bridge with a boat or something to pick up the driver?

# ? Oct 8, 2022 07:40

lamentable dustman: Apr 13, 2007; ððð

Hamelekim posted:

Another security video.
Cinci edit: sure as hell people are dying there

https://twitter.com/RALee85/status/1578632595633758208?s=20&t=EHBFm3irvfcnguY2nGPZRA

Looks like a boat bomb under the bridge here. Right before the explosion you see a nose of a boat and wake. There was some photos a while ago of a boat drone too.

Somebody fucked around with this message at 12:15 on Oct 8, 2022

# ? Oct 8, 2022 07:42

Flavahbeast: Jul 21, 2001

lamentable dustman posted:

Looks like a boat bomb under the bridge here. Right before the explosion you see a nose of a boat and wake. There was some photos a while ago of a boat drone too.

but if that's the case it's weird that they would set it off under the road and not the rail section

# ? Oct 8, 2022 07:43

DTurtle: Apr 10, 2011

Hamelekim posted:

The actual explosion caught on camera.

Edit: Not sure if this is fake or not.
Cinci edit: sure as hell people are dying there

https://twitter.com/BNONews/status/1578632518307545089

It fits to the other video, so real.

It looks like it was a suicide bomb. The white truck blows up (as can also be seen in the other video).

Edit: Huh, or boat drone as some have pointed out.

Somebody fucked around with this message at 12:16 on Oct 8, 2022

# ? Oct 8, 2022 07:44

Zedsdeadbaby: Jun 14, 2008; You have been called out, in the ways of old.

What a hell of a morning to wake up to. This feels pivotal.

# ? Oct 8, 2022 07:46

karasu: Jan 3, 2008

Flavahbeast posted:

but if that's the case it's weird that they would set it off under the road and not the rail section

If it was indeed a boat, the rail section is much higher over the water and would be farther away from the explosion, maybe they wanted to be on the safe side.

# ? Oct 8, 2022 07:46

a pipe smoking dog: Jan 25, 2010; "haha, dogs can't smoke!"

Flavahbeast posted:

but if that's the case it's weird that they would set it off under the road and not the rail section

Road section is closer to the water so it's more likely to work?

# ? Oct 8, 2022 07:46

Herstory Begins Now: Aug 5, 2003; SOME REALLY TEDIOUS DUMB SHIT THAT SUCKS ASS TO READ ->>

Hamelekim posted:

Another security video.
Cinci edit: sure as hell people are dying there

https://twitter.com/RALee85/status/1578632595633758208?s=20&t=EHBFm3irvfcnguY2nGPZRA

there's a lot of wake or a splash or something before the explosion in the bottom right

Somebody fucked around with this message at 12:16 on Oct 8, 2022

# ? Oct 8, 2022 07:49

D-Pad: Jun 28, 2006

FishBulbia posted:

hmm, in the second angle there seems to be a wake or wave under the bridge right before the blast

I wonder if you were able to time the truck on top and the boat on bottom a few sections back at just the right time if the resulting forces going in opposite directions would do greater damage than just a truck on top. Would be even harder to pull off though.

# ? Oct 8, 2022 07:49

Mr. Apollo: Nov 8, 2000

Remember this from a few weeks ago? Guess it was a test run. You�d think it would have been a huge hint to Russia to step is security around the bridge. :shrug:

https://www.forbes.com/sites/davidhambling/2022/09/22/mystery-vessel-may-be-new-ukrainian-attack-drone/amp

quote:

Russia Finds Mystery Vessel On Crimean Beach: Is It A New Ukrainian Attack Drone?

Ukraine may be using a new type of drone boat supplied by the U.S. to attack Russian warships in the Black Sea.

Russian forces found a drone boat washed up on a beach close to their naval base at Sevastopol in the Crimea, according to submarine and covert vessel expert HI Sutton writing in Naval News. Rather than examining the uncrewed surface vessel or USV, the Russians towed it out to sea and blew it up. This was probably wise. Sutton believes that the boat was likely packed with explosives and on a mission to destroy Russian warships.

The boat, which looks to be about the size of a kayak, floats low in the water, making it difficult to swap. Sutton identifies a camera, infra-red sensors, communications antenna and bow-mounted sensors which might detect the presence of a target close enough to trigger its payload. It has a waterjet and might achieve considerable speed. The location, over 150 miles from Ukrainian-controlled territory, indicates long range.

While the exact type of vessel has not yet been identified, the USV certainly has a familiar look to it, and immediately suggests the vessels supplied by the U.S. back in April.

Back then, Pentagon Press Secretary John Kirby told reporters that an $800 million security assistance package included an unspecified number of �unmanned coastal defense vessels� among the items being provided to the Ukrainians.

�It�s an unmanned surface vessel (USV) that can be used for a variety of purposes in coastal defense. I think I�ll just leave it at that,� Kirby told reporters, adding that it was coming from existing Navy stocks. �I�m not gonna promise you a fact sheet [but] I can promise you the drat thing works.�

He declines to confirm whether the USVs would be armed.

�They�re designed to help Ukraine with its coastal defense needs� I�m not going to get into the specific capabilities,� Kirby said.

A senior defense official, speaking anonymously, noted that some Ukrainian personnel had already been trained on the USVs.

Fedscoop quoted naval expert Brent Sadler as identifying the Mantas T-12, built by MARTAC, as a likely candidate, stating that Ukrainians had recently trained at a Navy base in Little Creek, Virginia.

MARTAC produce a range of vessels in the Mantas series, with �open architecture and modular design allowing for rapid adaptation and integration of sensors, advance communications and improved energy payload.�

The vessel seen on social media does not look like a T-12, but might be something else from the same stable. Mantas craft can also float low in the water with what is described as �stealth mode,� allowing the USV to operate with the deck itself below the water line. And they could carry out a number of different roles, as well as kamikaze missions.

�USVs definitely could be used for intelligence and reconnaissance to support drone and missile strikes on the Russian Navy,� said Zachary Kallenborn, Policy Fellow at George Mason University�s Schar School of Policy and Government.

�Although the USVs could be equipped with explosives and used to carry out kamikaze attacks, I would wonder about the opportunity cost.�

Kallenborn suggests it would make more sense to convert commercial vessels for the attack role and keep the military ones for the stealth spy role. The Houthi rebels in Yemen have already adapted speedboats as remote-controlled kamikazes for attacks on oil tankers and other vessels.

Ukraine�s Neptune anti-ship missiles have proved highly effective, but they need a spotter to locate a target � Bayraktar TB2s were apparently used for this role when the Russian flagship Moskva was sunk. USVs might be a less risky, stealthy alternative, being able to lurk for long periods waiting for a target to appear.

We may never know the identify of the mystery USV � one that washed up in Scotland in 2020 was never claimed, although it was identified as an American-made Wave Glider.

However, Russian warships may have to be more cautious when navigating the Black Sea. Even a craft as small as the one found washed up in Crimea can carry an explosive shaped charge big enough to blow a hole in one and add to the tally of Russian losses.

# ? Oct 8, 2022 07:49

Willo567: Feb 5, 2015; Cheating helped me fail the test and stay on the show.

https://twitter.com/KevinRothrock/status/1578637046058360833

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Oct 8, 2022 07:50

Scapegoat: Sep 18, 2004

FishBulbia posted:

Wow, so it was a suicide bombing? I guess you could RC it but...

We've seen nothing to indicate Ukrainians would suicide themselves. Likely Ukraine took advantage of a corrupt system to get a truck on the bridge with no questions asked. Anyone worked out if the "truck bomb" was heading to or from Crimea?

# ? Oct 8, 2022 07:50

Hamelekim: Feb 25, 2006; And another thing... if global warming is real. How come it's so damn cold?; Ramrod XTreme

Yeah no one is driving over either side of that bridge.

https://twitter.com/RALee85/status/1578637477807783936?s=20&t=EHBFm3irvfcnguY2nGPZRA

# ? Oct 8, 2022 07:51

Justaddwater: Jul 4, 2006

That fire on the rail bridge burned for a couple hours at least - any civil engineers around willing to hazard a guess if that was enough time to structurally damage it?

# ? Oct 8, 2022 07:55

mobby_6kl: Aug 9, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

Hoolly poo poo lol. Happy birthday Mr president :lmao:

Willo567 posted:

https://twitter.com/KevinRothrock/status/1578637046058360833

Oh no, NOW they'll start the war crimes??

E: Yesterday there were also reports that two bombers were blown up IN RUSSIA, supposedly with a drone. No visual confirmation yet but that's incredible if true as well

mobby_6kl fucked around with this message at 07:59 on Oct 8, 2022

# ? Oct 8, 2022 07:55

Cugel the Clever: Apr 5, 2009; I LOVE AMERICA AND CAPITALISM DESPITE BEING POOR AS FUCK. I WILL NEVER RETIRE BUT HERE'S ANOTHER 200$ FOR UKRAINE, SLAVA

Willo567 posted:

https://twitter.com/KevinRothrock/status/1578637046058360833

Russia's led by that dumb as gently caress kid who'd throw a tantrum when you refused to play his game of "tails I win; heads you lose".

# ? Oct 8, 2022 07:56

FishBulbia: Dec 22, 2021

What are they gonna do? try to take kyiv about it?

# ? Oct 8, 2022 07:58

gay picnic defence: Oct 5, 2009; I'M CONCERNED ABOUT A NUMBER OF THINGS

Hamelekim posted:

Yeah no one is driving over either side of that bridge.

https://twitter.com/RALee85/status/1578637477807783936?s=20&t=EHBFm3irvfcnguY2nGPZRA

Interesting that the explosion knocked off spans quite distant from the epicenter.

# ? Oct 8, 2022 07:58

Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; Enjoy every sandwich.; Smellrose

Willo567 posted:

https://twitter.com/KevinRothrock/status/1578637046058360833

This means Russia will launch an utterly ineffective, impotent response.

# ? Oct 8, 2022 08:01

Paracausal: Sep 5, 2011; Oh yeah, baby. Frame your suffering as a masterpiece. Only one problem - no one's watching. It's boring, buddy, boring as death.

https://twitter.com/Ukraine/status/1578634825417650176

The size and scope of the explosion rules out lone actors to me, has to be a truckload minimum, but feels like it could have been a build up over time.

# ? Oct 8, 2022 08:02

FishBulbia: Dec 22, 2021

Be afraid, a investigative committee!
Cinci edit: sure as hell people are dying there :nms:

https://twitter.com/KevinRothrock/status/1578631672199016448

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Somebody fucked around with this message at 12:18 on Oct 8, 2022

# ? Oct 8, 2022 08:05

Herstory Begins Now: Aug 5, 2003; SOME REALLY TEDIOUS DUMB SHIT THAT SUCKS ASS TO READ ->>

10:1 it's a boat. the 1 is it was a missile. I think a truck is extremely unlikely and the truck in the footage was just incredibly unlucky

FishBulbia posted:

Be afraid, a investigative committee!
Cinci edit: sure as hell people are dying there

https://twitter.com/KevinRothrock/status/1578631672199016448

we're watching putin's illusion of any degree of competence burn down in real time :stare:

Somebody fucked around with this message at 12:20 on Oct 8, 2022

# ? Oct 8, 2022 08:07

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# ? Jun 4, 2024 03:07

Marshal Prolapse: Jun 23, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Cinci edit: sure as hell people are dying there :nms:

https://twitter.com/osint_amateur/status/1578636239364067328?s=46&t=GiAhjc6SP4XRWi3NZHTC5Q

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Somebody fucked around with this message at 12:21 on Oct 8, 2022

# ? Oct 8, 2022 08:07

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > READ OP! War in Ukraine: a distressed blender making too many margaritas at once

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