|
I’m barely holding it. The pregnancy was touch and go almost to the end. In the 7 month my disc slipped and we decided to get surgery before the baby would come so I could do stuff - moot points, as the disk spilled, causing the worst pain in my life and an ER visit ending on the operating block, then two months of learning to use my back again (also two last months of the pregnancy). When the boy came, his heart wasn’t beating fast enough so we had to stay the first two weeks on the neonatology ward. My work HR gave me some bad advice (I work on a complicated international set up), which meant money got super tight for a bit. My wife’s mom got diagnosed with advanced liver cancer now and has maybe months. We don’t have any close family so we’re on our own, and since I travel internationally, I have to take my wife and the boy with me in the car across Europe. We’re on week 15 and I’ve never been so tired and just depressed. Not crying or anything, just feeling utterly devoid of most feelings. Desperate for a drink - not a drinker but just missing that bit if endorphins or whatever you get. Won’t have any, since I’m always around the kid and need to do something. I take care of the nights, my wife takes care of the boy during the day while I work. There are upsides! We really wanted to have a kid, and at 40 we were lucky to get help and financing for in vitro. Our boy is beautiful, healthy-ish and when he smiles, everything’s great. I work from home and while my work is not guaranteed, it got us through the first weeks and we can be together all day. But we’re both so loving tired. Thanks for reading.
|
#
?
Oct 19, 2023 23:49
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 10, 2024 09:32 |
|
|
Mokotow posted:I’m barely holding it. The pregnancy was touch and go almost to the end. In the 7 month my disc slipped and we decided to get surgery before the baby would come so I could do stuff - moot points, as the disk spilled, causing the worst pain in my life and an ER visit ending on the operating block, then two months of learning to use my back again (also two last months of the pregnancy). Goddamn that sounds loving rough. Grats on the kiddo and glad he’s doing better. At 3 months - you guys are probably settling into some kind of routine (even if it’s a lovely sleep deprived crying puking one). Why don’t you offer your wife a day/night off to go see a friend or lift weights or see a movie or get her haircut or nails done. Whatever her deal is. Also why don’t you ask for a night to go grab a beer with a buddy or go for a jog? Something to get some endorphins. It’s ok to say that you need a break. You’re not a Superman, even if you’re busting your rear end like one. You’ll recharge and the next few days/weeks will be easier.
|
|
#
?
Oct 19, 2023 23:54
|
|
|
It's my son's actual third birthday today How the gently caress
|
|
#
?
Oct 20, 2023 01:31
|
|
|
It's about to be my unborn son's birthday today. What in the actual gently caress as well.
|
|
#
?
Oct 20, 2023 01:34
|
|
|
Whole lotta covid babies in this thread Mine's is coming up soon but not today
|
|
#
?
Oct 20, 2023 01:46
|
|
|
Mine’s turning three next week! He’s had a couple massive tantrums this week, some of his worst ever. Full on kicking and screaming. And he is generally a pretty chill kid. It seems like preschool is leaving him more drained at the end of the day than the Twos class did.
|
|
#
?
Oct 20, 2023 03:17
|
|
|
Hadlock posted:Whole lotta covid babies in this thread I've already got the "quarin-teens" joke revved and ready to go. Kiddo won't know what hit him. Hitting up Mi Mouse's house tomorrow. He understands that now and is super stoked.
|
|
#
?
Oct 20, 2023 04:02
|
|
|
How do you handle the situation when your 4 year old starts throwing things in the middle of a screaming-at-top-of-lungs tantrum?
|
|
#
?
Oct 20, 2023 05:30
|
|
|
If it's just a couple of things, I'd probably take the thrown things away. If they are just throwing tons of stuff thats not gonna break or damage stuff, I might see how long it goes for. If there's danger of damage or injury I would physically stop them and/or move them somewhere where they can't damage things, like their room to cool down. After cooling down we would talk about how feelings and if it helped them get what they want, etc.
extravadanza fucked around with this message at 06:15 on Oct 20, 2023 |
|
#
?
Oct 20, 2023 06:12
|
|
|
“It’s OK to be upset, it’s not OK to throw things. I’m going to take these to keep us all safe.” Then afterwards when they’re calm, go over it with them and practice better behaviors they can do instead.
|
|
#
?
Oct 20, 2023 06:39
|
|
|
wizzardstaff posted:screaming-at-top-of-lungs My kid started doing this a couple of months ago. Due to her partial Irish ancestry we refer to her as our little banshee. It sucks. Like almost literally blood-curdling sound.
|
|
#
?
Oct 20, 2023 12:50
|
|
|
Thanks everyone! This thread has been an amazing source of support over the last four (?!?) years. I’m in a pretty good life spot now and hopefully it just keeps getting better.Cais posted:I've already got the "quarin-teens" joke revved and ready to go. Kiddo won't know what hit him. I love this so much, definitely going up whip it out in a decade or so.
|
|
#
?
Oct 20, 2023 17:30
|
|
|
I wish streaming services would provide TV edits of R movies. My oldest is interested in seeing a horror movie, but she's too young for any of the movies she's expressed interest in. I was talking with my wife about how I'd seen quite a few horror films at her age, but I realized I'd mostly seen the TV edits.
|
|
#
?
Oct 21, 2023 15:39
|
|
|
Last night during shower, my son said "Daddy, my penis is big, and I can see my guts!" I was very confused and asked him what he was talking about. Turns out he has discovered he can pull his foreskin back. I explained it wasn't his guts and what it actually was, and gave him some basic care tips that I've read about. I'm cut, personally, so this is new territory for me, and I didn't think we'd have to deal with it yet. I don't think he was forcing anything, and he didn't complain of pain. I think he just loosened up on the younger side (he's 5.5yo). So this will be a fun adventure for both of us.
|
|
#
?
Oct 21, 2023 16:33
|
|
|
killer crane posted:I wish streaming services would provide TV edits of R movies. 
|
|
#
?
Oct 21, 2023 16:37
|
|
|
Good-Natured Filth posted:Last night during shower, my son said "Daddy, my penis is big, and I can see my guts!" I was very confused and asked him what he was talking about. Turns out he has discovered he can pull his foreskin back. I explained it wasn't his guts and what it actually was, and gave him some basic care tips that I've read about. My cut dad successfully raised me, just emphasize the basic care tips. Really all you need to do is hammer in "every time you shower you need to rinse this part off too" and that does it, from personal experience it is uncomfortable enough if you don't and doesn't feel any weirder than washing your penis in general so it shouldn't be too much of an issue as long as you set up the good habits now. We had one (1) semi-serious conversation about it with a doctor during my checkup when I was your son's age, not because things were bad but just another way to emphasize it. After that it just became part of my routine and I didn't think about it. Now brushing my teeth was another story, I had to get two gum reduction surgeries.
|
|
#
?
Oct 21, 2023 17:09
|
|
|
My pediatrician told me to start retracting it for him. He’s almost 3. I am baffled about the logistics of getting a toddler to stay still long enough to mess with their foreskin. I think he’s gonna have to wait until he’s old enough to do it himself.
|
|
#
?
Oct 21, 2023 18:48
|
|
|
Mistaken Frisbee posted:I love my friends, but I think this weekend has burned me out on not-parents. We had friends visit from across the country and stay with us this weekend. I’ve been categorizing my friends and family into helpful/not helpful categories since the kid came. Having kids does not make you automatically more likely to be helpful. The flavor of what happened to you just happened to me this weekend, except it was with two people who were parents, but had older kids and and they had clearly forgotten what a 10 month old baby is like. My cousin and her friend came into town and really wanted to see me but also had a class they were teaching. They wanted to stay at my house and I was very clear that there’s a baby in the house and….while he generally sleeps well at night there is no way to know if you’ll get sleep or not. Also, my partner would be out for the weekend so I’d be solo parenting too and less available. They were like “no no no that’s okay we’ll bring earplugs we want to stay!” Normally I wouldn’t have let them stay at all, but I really like my cousin and had an impression of her as generally helpful so I though it might be okay…maybe even good with my partner out of town. I mean she and her friend have kids and should know, right? NOPE. They proceeded to fly in at 5:30pm and want a ride from the airport (no), then got in late, and wanted dinner served to them but also didn’t want to help with the baby (what?) and I found myself trying to serve 3 people and feed a baby and entertain the baby at the same time and then after they didn’t help with cleanup or baby watching either and just hung out and talked. Meanwhile, baby was already getting tired and cranky and teething so we did bed and it went well enough…but the night turned into total hell with us being up like 3 hours between 2 and 5 am. Next morning, they wanted breakfast and it was a rehash of dinner. they were like “you know. We think we’re gonna find a hotel. We were wrong about staying here and we need sleep”. (Okay great. I warned you) I went to go take the baby to daycare and they were like “oh you’re taking him to daycare? No, let’s go on a walk together, we want to spend time with him and you!” I reluctantly was like okay. These are things I love anyway. We can do half-day at daycare if the first half is something fun. Rather than immediately doing the hike first though, they kept slowly slowly getting their stuff together and getting distracted researching hotels and then dinner plans…meanwhile I’m doing all the unplanned baby care and the kid aborts his nap and suddenly lunch is here and it’s the same thing all over again where I’m feeding and cleaning up after 3 people and a baby with no help. This time with a baby that skipped his nap. We finally get the hike in at 1pm, and then it’s too late for daycare and they want to borrow my car to get to the hotel and Jesus yes please just go take it I don’t care. Solo parenting with them gone feels like ez mode.
|
|
#
?
Oct 21, 2023 19:13
|
|
|
space uncle posted:My pediatrician told me to start retracting it for him. He’s almost 3. This is bad and outdated advice!! https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/baby/bathing-skin-care/Pages/Care-for-an-Uncircumcised-Penis.aspx
|
|
#
?
Oct 21, 2023 19:47
|
|
|
Yeah our pediatrician said don't worry about it until it retracts on its own, at which point clean it.
|
|
#
?
Oct 21, 2023 20:11
|
|
|
sheri posted:This is bad and outdated advice!! Wash his hair daily? What is this, are pediatricians bought by the shampoo mafia or something? I shampoo my daughter's hair once or twice a week and it looks very nice and clean, thank you.
|
|
#
?
Oct 21, 2023 20:20
|
|
|
Yeah lol at baths every day too. Maybe that makes us bad parents but as long as they are reasonably clean looking they get 2-3 baths a week.
|
|
#
?
Oct 21, 2023 20:34
|
|
|
Mind_Taker posted:Yeah lol at baths every day too. Maybe that makes us bad parents but as long as they are reasonably clean looking they get 2-3 baths a week. People go overboard on hygiene and this is fine
|
|
#
?
Oct 21, 2023 20:36
|
|
|
sheri posted:This is bad and outdated advice!! Ah poo poo thanks for the heads up. It seemed at odds with the other doc who just told us not to really worry about it until he can handle it. I know you don’t want them to get phimosis or an infection but he seems way too little to start messing with that thing. And yeah we bathe him every 48 hours unless we get really tired and lazy and then it’s 72 hours. Although I do bathe him if we go in the pool a lot, so then he will end up getting baths Friday/Saturday/Sunday. By Monday I’m wondering if those three baths will provide protection for him to stay clean all week, like some kind of soap and rubber duck based prophylactic. Also wanted to shout out Koivunen for a heartwarming post, glad things are looking up for you. Absolutely deserved.
|
|
#
?
Oct 21, 2023 22:28
|
|
|
We bathe our kid almost everyday but it's kinda a fun chill wind down transition time ritual more than anything serious - I agree that hair gets washed about 2-3 x a week if that and it's totally fine and good. I had to take her out yesterday because she started saying "Poopy tub-tub," over and over and then farted real loud and laughed her rear end off. One of those hilarious but probably shouldn't let her know I feel that way things...
|
|
#
?
Oct 21, 2023 22:38
|
|
|
Mokotow posted:I’m barely holding it. The pregnancy was touch and go almost to the end. In the 7 month my disc slipped and we decided to get surgery before the baby would come so I could do stuff - moot points, as the disk spilled, causing the worst pain in my life and an ER visit ending on the operating block, then two months of learning to use my back again (also two last months of the pregnancy). So much of this rhymes with our own experience: alone overseas, MIL dying of liver cancer, IVF at 40 and then our bodies fall apart when we need them most? yeah man it's loving rough. For us things got noticeably better at ~6 months, hang in there. If you folks have mostly been WFH/isolated, your immune systems have forgotten everything they ever knew. There will be endless waves of sickness (ours took ~5 months) once he starts daycare so make sure you're both physically ready before throwing him in.
|
|
#
?
Oct 21, 2023 23:38
|
|
|
Bathing every day as a ritual is OK I guess, but absolutely positively unnecessary as a matter of hygiene. Our oldest has had eczema since pretty early on, so we learned pretty quick that we had to limit baths or else her skin would be a nightmare.
|
|
#
?
Oct 22, 2023 00:33
|
|
|
We do between 1 and 3 baths a week, depends on how dirty the kid is Given how many wet wipes we go through kid effectively gets a full towel bath at least every two days
|
|
#
?
Oct 22, 2023 01:03
|
|
|
Thought I had heard every genre of excuse to get out of bed. Need more water, want a hug, need to go potty, heard a noise, etc. Tonight he blindsided us with "The mail's here!"
|
|
#
?
Oct 22, 2023 01:41
|
|
|
Shifty Pony posted:Thought I had heard every genre of excuse to get out of bed. Need more water, want a hug, need to go potty, heard a noise, etc.  Gotta hand it to 'em
|
|
#
?
Oct 22, 2023 03:13
|
|
|
Nearly an hour later: "you need to get the mail." "I got the mail. Winston (our cat) got a card, that was it." That made him whine about not getting a card too. Later we got the classic "I can't reach my water" because the water bottle was about 10cm away from the bed instead of right against it. Of course getting out of bed and leaving the room required walking right by said water, why do you ask? I can't be too mad. We had Touch-a-Truck today where he got to see and sit in all manner of heavy equipment. Little dude was pretty much tapped out having met his heroes.
|
|
#
?
Oct 22, 2023 03:23
|
|
|
DaveSauce posted:Bathing every day as a ritual is OK I guess, but absolutely positively unnecessary as a matter of hygiene. I swear our dermatologist (for our baby’s hemangioma) said we should bathe him every day because some of his skin looked like it might have eczema. That sounded very weird to me at the time and we’ve just been rolling with weekly-ish baths.
|
|
#
?
Oct 22, 2023 04:33
|
|
|
I don’t know about you guys but my 2 and 4 year olds get filthy every day at daycare and no bath isn’t really an option- they at least need a rinse.
|
|
#
?
Oct 22, 2023 12:52
|
|
|
3 is a great age. The Why? is in full frontal force, but he knows I'll answer all his questions (including why he can't have this donut). I wish parenting had better marketing. I mean, be honest with the customer but let them all know the persistent drip drip drip of reward chemicals will mask your exhaustion.
|
|
#
?
Oct 22, 2023 13:26
|
|
|
BadSamaritan posted:I don’t know about you guys but my 2 and 4 year olds get filthy every day at daycare and no bath isn’t really an option- they at least need a rinse. Yeah my 4 year old is a heavy sweater. He gets daily baths in the summer because he fuckin reeks. In the winter we switch to every other day. We went 3 days once and his penis broke out in a rash because it adhered to itself from the grime.
|
|
#
?
Oct 22, 2023 13:57
|
|
|
We bathe our daughter twice a week. She does have eczema from my poor genes but we managed to see a dermatologist again recently. The eczema presented as pink-brownish spots that is actually a bacterial infection, and scratching there, then somewhere else actually transfers the bacteria via the nails to other places on the body. He prescribed an expensive cream which includes steroids and an antibiotic and that is starting to do the trick.
|
|
#
?
Oct 22, 2023 14:37
|
|
|
"I want to make edible playdough." "What's edible playdough?" "Playdough you can eat." "..." "..." "...okay, fair. What is IN edible playdough?" "I dunno."
|
|
#
?
Oct 22, 2023 16:28
|
|
|
we’re in the daily bath camp for sake of routine more than anything else. a quick scrub and a few minutes of free swim seems to help junior mayo clinic wind down before bedtime. Or he’ll get hyper and start ejecting the bath toys as fast as he can throw them. Either way, he’s still a fan of the bathtub and we’ll call this a win.
|
|
#
?
Oct 22, 2023 17:16
|
|
|
In the summer my kids get a bath every other day, or daily if they are full of sun screen and sweat. If we go swimming in the lake I will sometimes count that as a bath… In the spring/fall/winter (which adds up to like ten months here) they get a bath twice a week. My 4.5 year old only recently got over her hatred of hair washing, and my 2.5 year old still believes he’s being painfully tortured when his hair gets washed. It’s all fun and games until rinse off time.
|
|
#
?
Oct 22, 2023 17:19
|
|
|
|
| # ? Jun 10, 2024 09:32 |
|
|
My youngest gets eczema patches that look like ring worm. Of course I get a call about it if it gets discovered and its a new place. "No...no I promise its just eczema." At least its motivation to get the medicated cream out to treat it. He never complains that it hurts so I will forget.
|
|
#
?
Oct 22, 2023 18:35
|
|
