r/relationships: SPRAYING A FRAGRANCE ON MY PENIS

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: SPRAYING A FRAGRANCE ON MY PENIS

mystes: May 31, 2006

It's interesting that the OP seems to have no sense of how rich their parents are. Like they're saying they looked up 1% and yes they're in the 1% and their parents' house cost 7 figures when they bought it but that's still pretty vague and that makes them which kind of makes it hard to evaluate the situation

In a lot of places even fairly normal houses are a million dollars now unfortunately but I'm guessing their parents are actually much richer than just owning a 1 million dollar house they're trying to pay off

mystes fucked around with this message at 21:44 on Apr 3, 2024

# ? Apr 3, 2024 21:42

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# ? Jun 2, 2024 10:52

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

mystes posted:

It's interesting that the OP seems to have no sense of how rich their parents are. Like they're saying they looked up 1% and yes they're in the 1% and their parents' house cost 7 figure when they bought it but that's still pretty vague and that makes them which kind of makes it hard to evaluate the situation

They own multiple houses and vehicles and travel frequently across the world. When I say multiple vehicles, I mean EACH PARENT owns multiple vehicles of their own.

# ? Apr 3, 2024 21:44

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Captain Fargle posted:

Goddamnit. I keep getting mixed up by Corky's av not being Shrek anymore.

So do I.

# ? Apr 3, 2024 21:45

Laopooh: Jul 15, 2000

Shanghaied posted:

This one I don't even care about the story, posting it solely for the terrible names.

Those are normal Japanese names though?

# ? Apr 3, 2024 21:45

mystes: May 31, 2006

Midnight Voyager posted:

They own multiple houses and vehicles and travel frequently across the world.

That still could probably be anywhere between both parents having made $200k/year for the last 20 years and having bought a normal house and some vacation condo with mortgages and them being billionaires. I'm getting the sense that it's latter it's just weird how abstract it is to the OP, probably because they grew up with such rich parents, which likely means they are massively understating the situation in a way that intentionally or unintentionally makes their boyfriend's reaction seem less justified

mystes fucked around with this message at 21:48 on Apr 3, 2024

# ? Apr 3, 2024 21:46

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Midnight Voyager posted:

Part of the 1% of turbo rich, but they don't own Wal-mart, so it's not THAT rich!

Literally every rich person has an explanation about they're not really rich, and refers to themselves as "middle class"

Hughlander posted:

AITA for tricking my sister into giving her kid a stupid name

Reminds me of one of my favorite stories, the woman who got one over on her one-upping copycat sister by hinting that she was going to buy an incredibly ugly $7000 Balenciega bag.

# ? Apr 3, 2024 21:46

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

quote:

My bio dad owns 2 houses. Idk if he has mortgages. I think cumulatively it�s about 3 acres.

He and his wife have 4 cars between them. At least one is over 80k I don�t know about the others, and I don�t know if he financed them.

They travel internationally, mostly to rented houses. We�ve been on road trips, my dad and I have been on a lot. We�ve flown on budget airlines before. We�ve been to all inclusive resort but mostly when I was young

guillotine

# ? Apr 3, 2024 21:48

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

no they can't be rich they fly Southwest Airlines.

# ? Apr 3, 2024 21:52

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

She has a child's concept of money. It must be nice to not have had to understand the value of money when you're young out of your parents's fear.

# ? Apr 3, 2024 21:54

sullat: Jan 9, 2012

Shanghaied posted:

Step 1. Build time machine.

Step 2. Travel back in time and stop your past self from sleeping with your best friend's fiancée.

Edit:

Also

Lmao, you think so, do you?

Doesn't sound like there was any sleeping involved...

# ? Apr 3, 2024 21:55

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

Ominous Jazz posted:

this dude's dedication to hating the troops is next level, i support it. if we want to help him, i think the first step would be to stop sleeping with his ex fianc�, but she is a baddie and that makes it difficult.

it's incredibly self defeating. it wins you nothing, makes the situation worse for everyone, and literally costs you money.

Well that and he's fully Hobosexual now, if he stops sleeping with the fiancee he'd be homeless.

# ? Apr 3, 2024 22:19

quantumwell: Jun 22, 2013

Captain Fargle posted:

Goddamnit. I keep getting mixed up by Corky's av not being Shrek anymore.

I agree, I'm very upset about it

# ? Apr 3, 2024 23:21

Mordiceius: Nov 10, 2007; If you think calling me names is gonna get a rise out me, think again. I like my life as an idiot!

Captain Hygiene posted:

Also at the backstory of
"I do not like dogs, I will never consider owning a dog, there will be zero dogs in my life if this relationship continues"
*husband begins scheming to get surprise birthday dog*

I feel like a good 50% of these posts are "My partner said do not do this thing. I did the thing. They're mad at me. WHAT DO?!"

"They said not to get them a Lego set for their birthday. So I bought them a Lego set."
"They said they never want to speak with their mother again after cutting off all contact. So I set up a secret meeting!"

Genuinely the stupidest people alive.

# ? Apr 3, 2024 23:55

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

FMguru posted:

Literally every rich person has an explanation about they're not really rich, and refers to themselves as "middle class"

Yeh this to me is the clearest indicator she's rich. There's a few reasons rich people do this...some understandable, some awful.

The understandable is the obvious - it's just a bad idea to advertise how much money you have because then people come calling for it.

The awful is that many rich people have a not-so-secret insecurity that the people in their lives are only sticking around for the money (which yeh they may be) and it manifests in this absolutely whackadoo mindset of 'and WHY should the money matter anyway? All that should matter is I'm a good person!!' that they pass on to their kids.

In the end, they imbue their children with the kind of naivete about money (and that 'its not everything') that can literally only survive as long as it does bc of the protection of being rich lol.

# ? Apr 4, 2024 00:05

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

StrangersInTheNight posted:

Yeh this to me is the clearest indicator she's rich. There's a few reasons rich people do this...some understandable, some awful.

I've told the story before about how I considered my family upper-middle class because we could afford to live within our means and even though I was pretty stupid about money I was aware enough to consider that a blessing. When we needed a new car or computer we could get a new one that would last a while instead of something that would need replacing again in a few years. Then in college I visited a friend who also considered her family upper-middle class and it turned out they were house flippers in the expensive part of the Bay Area and really into conspicuous consumption. That was some weird culture shock as I learned that "well off for New Mexico" was different from "well off for actual states".

Meanwhile my aunt and uncle started out very poor and wound up creating a business that did very well for them (invented a new design of raingear if I remember the story right). I think they would agree that nobody who has the hobbies and travel they did isn't well-off, but my uncle's also living in a house that was a cheap wreck they built up and every day looks out at boats worth four times as much as his boat owned by people who bought an entire house because it was preferable to paying for a dock in Seattle. As a result he would probably flinch if you called him rich.

# ? Apr 4, 2024 00:26

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

Yeah, all but a tiny handful of rich people know people who are 10x or 100x richer than they are, and they use that comparison to argue to themselves that they're not really rich. Why, my yacht doesn't even have a helipad! I only have one LearJet, and it's the lowest trim level!

My favorite example of this was from the 2020 campaign, when Howard Schultz (the billionaire head of Starbucks) briefly contended for the Democratic nomination and tried to soften his Scrooge McDuck image by saying that when growing up his family owned "a small factory". No fancy Willow Runs for the salt-of-the-earth Schultzes! Just a small factory, barely breaking even sometimes, why some months his mother would have to let out rooms or take in laundry.

# ? Apr 4, 2024 00:39

Baronjutter: Dec 31, 2007; "Tiny Trains"

I've never met a single filthy rich person who ever self identified as rich. They're just well off, upper middle class maybe. They're only worth 60 million, not billions! Musk is rich, Bezos is rich, we're just doing well for ourselves. I went to a very rich high school and I knew so many kids with parents with easy multi-million incomes and they would get so bent out of shape if you called them rich. But they didn't own the most expensive house in the entire city, so you can't say they're rich! Their 5,000 sqft hillside mansion is from the 1970's and needs some updating, it's nothing compared to that new 8,000 sqft house they built up the road last year. Now THAT person is rich!

Baronjutter fucked around with this message at 01:00 on Apr 4, 2024

# ? Apr 4, 2024 00:57

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

My "not a member of the upper class" gilded marble mosaic displayed over my guest pool has a lot of people asking questions already answered by my gilded marble mosaic

# ? Apr 4, 2024 01:18

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

selec posted:

Zaza is just a dumb name for a child outside the weed thing but that kid would also end up getting Dracula Flowed by weird Middle Aged Men randomly as they grew up so that might be exciting and confusing for them.

Makes me think of Zsa Zsa Gabor.

# ? Apr 4, 2024 02:21

big black turnout: Jan 13, 2009; Fallen Rib

Batterypowered7 posted:

Makes me think of Zsa Zsa Gabor.

I have never heard of it as a term for weed and would assume it was someone not knowing how Zsa Zsa is spelled

# ? Apr 4, 2024 02:23

mllaneza: Apr 28, 2007; Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force, 1993-1952

Her name is a pro-image search for any of the younger generation who appreciate beautiful women.

e. Any generation really, but many old people like me already knew that.

# ? Apr 4, 2024 02:24

DeeplyConcerned: Apr 29, 2008; I can fit 3 whole bud light cans now, ask me how!

Could I afford to build my own personal castle, staff it with help and live in it for the rest f my life? Yes. When I want to relax, do I have several servants fan me with palm leaves? Yes. But I'm not Jeff Bezos.

# ? Apr 4, 2024 02:54

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

quantumwell posted:

I agree, I'm very upset about it

Clearly the solution is to Shrekify Big John.

# ? Apr 4, 2024 02:59

trickybiscuits: Jan 13, 2008; yospos

Justice in the AAM comments section

quote:

I had a co-worker in his mid-50s who didn�t understand why his offhand remarks on ethnicity was inappropriate at the workplace. (That�s before DEI became a thing.) He continued to make such comments from time to time with different folks even after I told him how inappropriate they were. (I was a woman with a few years of experience.) Perhaps he thought that he�s invincible because he�s an experienced engineer with decades of experience.

Then he was let go during a around of layoffs. He never find a comparable job again. The wake-up call was too late. He could�ve retired in his 60s in his own accord.

quote:
This was something that happened at my place too. Tried to warn the guy and he doubled down�and like an extreme sports person, it�s like he just kept getting worse as he got more comfortable there. He said something to someone once and the person who overheard it reported him to HR�and he was walked out immediately. He blamed it on �woke culture�. The rest of it blamed it on him being an AH.

# ? Apr 4, 2024 03:04

ApplesandOranges: Jun 22, 2012; Thankee kindly.

I knew a guy in the �I�m not rich, my parents are rich� camp.

To be fair, he was gay, his parents weren�t accepting, so he was going through life in the sense of �look I know im not getting any of the inheritance, they�ll probably disown me the minute I bring a boy home�. So he was always looking for an out to stop depending on them.

# ? Apr 4, 2024 03:39

wheatpuppy: Apr 25, 2008; YOU HAVE MY POST!

Midnight Voyager posted:

Part of the 1% of turbo rich, but they don't own Wal-mart, so it's not THAT rich!

Ohhhh, those Waltons. I was picturing like, John-Boy, and trying to figure out how they worked into the equation other than the example of "definitely not rich."

# ? Apr 4, 2024 03:48

deety: Aug 2, 2004; zombies + sharks = fun

I used to work with a guy who didn't get that he was rich. His parents owned the business that we worked at, which was a fancy tourist shop that also did a ton of catalog sales. They were adding a vineyard.

I was eighteen, and we lived near the beach. But this kid was shocked beyond words that I'd never been skiing. I kept trying to tell him that skiing was too expensive, and he said, "It's not really that bad if you own your own skis!"

# ? Apr 4, 2024 03:53

mystes: May 31, 2006

deety posted:

I was eighteen, and we lived near the beach. But this kid was shocked beyond words that I'd never been skiing. I kept trying to tell him that skiing was too expensive, and he said, "It's not really that bad if you own your own skis!"

I mean, it's obviously dumb if he assumed that everyone skied, and skiing always tended to be a rich person hobby to some extent because unless you lived right near a ski slope, it would end up being complicated and expensive to try to get to somewhere to ski, and you would have to rent or buy the gear.

However, despite all that, depending on where/when this conversation took place, it was sort of true in that the actual lift tickets didn't use to be that expensive so if you were really determined and you lived within a few hours of a ski slope and were willing to drive a ton you could make it fairly cheap.

Now it's completely absurd and one day lift tickets are getting close to what season passes used to be like, so it's really a rich person hobby.

# ? Apr 4, 2024 04:04

Remulak: Jun 8, 2001; I can't count to four.; Yams Fan

lol, I�ve only on the last few years understood my raging hatred at the guy who swore his parents were poor, because they hitched across America and only ate �peanut butter fingers�, aka peanut butter from your fingers.

Later turned out he was a pedo with incredible inherited wealth and never paid me back for drugs we all took because he �was afraid of being taken advantage of� due to said inheritance and left the poor kid holding the bag, glad cops weren�t involved. Of course his grandparents were notorious nazi collaborators.. yeah he was Finnish how did you know?

Joke is on him though, I have my hair. Just in case yeah, this is you Mark, research your Nazi relatives and you are a creepy pedo, listing the ago of consent and where to find Tracy Lords videos is the opposite of cool.

Lol baldy.

# ? Apr 4, 2024 04:05

Troublemaker: Mar 12, 2007

Malachite_Dragon posted:

Clearly the solution is to Shrekify Big John.

Or Big Johnify Shrek.

# ? Apr 4, 2024 04:12

Elissimpark: May 20, 2010; Bring me the head of Auguste Escoffier.

Malachite_Dragon posted:

Clearly the solution is to Shrekify Big John.

Troublemaker posted:

Or Big Johnify Shrek.

I wonder what Shrek Big John kissing Big John Shrek would look like haha.

Like, if anyone drew a picture. As a joke haha.

# ? Apr 4, 2024 04:20

deety: Aug 2, 2004; zombies + sharks = fun

mystes posted:

I mean, it's obviously dumb if he assumed that everyone skied, and skiing always tended to be a rich person hobby to some extent because unless you lived right near a ski slope, it would end up being complicated and expensive to try to get to somewhere to ski, and you would have to rent or buy the gear.

Like I said, we lived near the beach. It was the inland part though, which was pretty rural/redneck. The nearest ski area meant an overnight stay. I'm sure he did mean that the fees weren't all that high, but travel, gas, and gear made it inaccessible for the average family out there. Especially because they'd also have to sort out lessons and poo poo.

He kept asking again and again, like if you've ever seen a geek who just can't process that someone has never watched Star Wars. It turned out that none of the other girls on our shift had been skiing either because we grew up in bumfuck and our families didn't have the money to build a vineyard and start a winery.

# ? Apr 4, 2024 04:44

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

Kurieg posted:

AITA for not telling my bf that my dad/family is �rich�?

It requires $819k be a 1%er in the U.S., :guillotine:

# ? Apr 4, 2024 05:40

idiotsavant: Jun 4, 2000

Between travel (gas, vehicle, chains, racks, etc), equipment, clothes, and passes snow sports have pretty much always been expensive as gently caress unless you're basically a townie and live at the bottom of the slope and get all the local discounts. Yeah, you used to be able to go up and ride halfway decent resorts for 20-40 bucks and now the same spots are all literally $110-160 for a single day, but you still had to have all the other poo poo. It sucks because snow sports are fun as hell but also price out a bunch of people who otherwise might love them.

# ? Apr 4, 2024 05:48

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

And it�s cold.

# ? Apr 4, 2024 05:54

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

AITA for �calling her a rat�?

quote:

This is really bizarre. The title is how she put it.

Me (25m) and my girlfriend (23f) were about to go out. She wore a red polka dot dress and a matching headband with a little bow on it.

She asked me �how do I look�. I replied �really cute, like Minnie Mouse�. I meant it in a very lighthearted way, because you know, Minnie Mouse is cute and the outfit really resembled what she wore.

She looked me dead in the eyes and asked �did you just call me a rat?�. I was baffled. At first, I thought she was kidding. I said �no, just pointed out that you look like Minnie Mouse, you know, the Disney character�. She said �so I look like a rat to you?�. I still thought that she was kidding. I said �actually, Minnie is a mouse, they�re a different species�.

She lost it. She started yelling at me, calling me names, saying that if anyone was a rat it was me, saying that I belong to the sewers, not her. I was standing there with my car keys in the hand, not realizing a thing. Eventually, she grabbed her purse and left.

It happened an hour ago, I called her a few times, she doesn�t answer. She probably blocked me.

I don�t know what happened. She doesn�t have any long-standing grudges against Disney, she doesn�t seem to hate rats as a species either. Minnie Mouse isn�t even a rat. I know it sounds like a fake story, but I swear it�s not. I�m genuinely baffled and am now wondering if I messed up.