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emSparkly
Nov 21, 2022

I'm open to interpretation!

Elviscat posted:

This is one of the least funny things I've ever seen, it's impressive.

Yeah he’s so good at it.

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Molybdenum
Jun 25, 2007
Melting Point ~2622C
There's a YouTube video that explains the humor of that set:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_W3w_E7K4U

Knormal
Nov 11, 2001

Coca Koala posted:

I have to know what the snacks are because if this guy is like, busting out potato chips during a theatre performance and eating them he should be executed.

Halloween Jack
Sep 12, 2003
I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!
Five bags of popcorn.

Molybdenum posted:

There's a YouTube video that explains the humor of that set:
Yeah, that's a 1-bagger.

Cythereal
Nov 8, 2009

I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.
AITA Because I made my parents homeless for getting rid of my dog

quote:

I (F27) lived with my parents until last week.

I have a dog that I love. She has been my best friend since I graduated university. I am not very social, and I prefer her company to most people I know.

I have had boyfriends and even a short relationship that ended amicably. I am just not really interested in much beyond my work and my dog.

My parents think that this is a shortcoming, but I do not. My brother also lives with us. He is in high school and he doesn't pay rent.

I pay about 50% of everything in the house. Including groceries. It is about the same as rent would cost. And I get the basement suite.

It isn't a legal suite in the sense that it could be rented but it is fine for a family member. It is because of building codes and stuff. It would cost a bunch of money to make it suitable for a renter.

So my mom decided that the reason I am not actively looking for a husband is because my dog takes too much of my attention. My pup has some health problems but nothing I can't afford. And nothing that affects her quality of life.

So my mom gave her away. While I was at work. I came home and she was gone, along with all her stuff. Her toys her leash. Everything.

I lost it on my mom. I told her if she didn't tell me where my dog was I was calling the cops and saying that they had stolen my dog and having her charged.

I went to the place where my dog was and got my dog back.

I then went back to my parents house and packed all my stuff that was important to me and went to a friend's house.

My dad has been calling and texting me asking about money for October. I told him he should have thought about that when he allowed a crazy person to steal from me.

Since my dad lost his job because of the current world disease they cannot afford all the household bills without my help.

My dad says that they will be out of money in three months without me. I don't trust them anymore.

My family thinks I am an rear end in a top hat for caring more about my dog than I do about them.

To answer some questions I know will come up. Yes I am on the spectrum. I may also lean towards Ace even though I have enjoyed sex with men before.

AITA?

Poster included a pic of the dog.

420 Gank Mid
Dec 26, 2008

WARNING: This poster is a huge bitch!

That's a good dog. Death to the mother and any in the family who defend her behavior.

mystes
May 31, 2006

Cythereal posted:

AITA Because I made my parents homeless for getting rid of my dog
Holy poo poo

Edit: Also not that there would be an acceptable reason for the mother to do that but the reason stated is so loving stupid

mystes fucked around with this message at 21:39 on Apr 8, 2024

Neito
Feb 18, 2009

😌Finally, an avatar the describes my love of tech❤️‍💻, my love of anime💖🎎, and why I'll never see a real girl 🙆‍♀️naked😭.

I saw it coming the second she mentioned that she wasn't super into other relationships. Doesn't make it any less batshit to read.

Mom definitely thought that daughter was going to be "Oh well, what's done is done" and, to write a bit of fanfic, probably doesn't see what she did wrong.

My Spirit Otter
Jun 15, 2006


CANADA DOESN'T GET PENS LIKE THIS

SKILCRAFT KREW Reppin' Quality Blind Made American Products. Bitch.
im stuck on the freckle post. im as pale as copy paper and freckle up like a sonnuva bitch, i was never made fun of for having freckles, only about about having the ability to make ghosts jealous.

do people actually get made fun of for having freckles??

AnoHito
May 8, 2014

Cythereal posted:

AITA Because I made my parents homeless for getting rid of my dog

Poster included a pic of the dog.



That is a beautiful looking dog, and I say that as someone who generally just finds dogs to be kinda ugly.

Jaxts
Apr 29, 2008
People need to stop tearing down their load bearing children.

Neito
Feb 18, 2009

😌Finally, an avatar the describes my love of tech❤️‍💻, my love of anime💖🎎, and why I'll never see a real girl 🙆‍♀️naked😭.

My Spirit Otter posted:

im stuck on the freckle post. im as pale as copy paper and freckle up like a sonnuva bitch, i was never made fun of for having freckles, only about about having the ability to make ghosts jealous.

do people actually get made fun of for having freckles??

It was definitely a thing in the 80s or 90s, at least up here in the northeast US.

emSparkly
Nov 21, 2022

I'm open to interpretation!

Cythereal posted:

AITA Because I made my parents homeless for getting rid of my dog

Poster included a pic of the dog.



I would bet the parents have the means to save their own house and are being entitled boomers who want their kid to take care of them forever. Complete buffoonery.

Pope Corky the IX
Dec 18, 2006

What are you looking at?

My Spirit Otter posted:

im stuck on the freckle post. im as pale as copy paper and freckle up like a sonnuva bitch, i was never made fun of for having freckles, only about about having the ability to make ghosts jealous.

do people actually get made fun of for having freckles??

Lindsay Lohan was pressured to tan the freckles away in addition to dying her hair when she was in her teens and twenties.

babypolis
Nov 4, 2009

Blue Moonlight posted:

PHUO: any snack sold by the establishment is fair game to consume during the performance. If the theatre thinks a bag of Sun Chips are a great accompaniment to The Barber of Seville, who am I to argue?

yeah its not like he sneaked in a hoagie or something. tbh the OP reactions seems a little bit too intense

babypolis fucked around with this message at 22:01 on Apr 8, 2024

Hughlander
May 11, 2005

Pope Corky the IX posted:

That was in Colorado but thanks for playing.

You know, I did not know that. Thought it was New York, it being Denver makes it even funnier to me.

Pigsfeet on Rye
Oct 22, 2008

I'm meat on the hoof

420 Gank Mid posted:

That's a good dog. Death to the mother and any in the family who defend her behavior.

:luca:

Danger
Jan 4, 2004

all desire - the thirst for oil, war, religious salvation - needs to be understood according to what he calls 'the demonogrammatical decoding of the Earth's body'

Molybdenum posted:

There's a YouTube video that explains the humor of that set:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_W3w_E7K4U

The YouTube video that had to explain the humor is exponentially worse than just admitting you don’t get the humor

Larry Cum Free
Jun 3, 2022

move it or lose it dillweed

Blue Moonlight posted:

PHUO: any snack sold by the establishment is fair game to consume during the performance. If the theatre thinks a bag of Sun Chips are a great accompaniment to The Barber of Seville, who am I to argue?

Usually I figure out weird acronyms in this thread from context, but I'm throwing in the towel on PHUO.

Silly Newbie
Jul 25, 2007
How do I?

My Spirit Otter posted:

im stuck on the freckle post. im as pale as copy paper and freckle up like a sonnuva bitch, i was never made fun of for having freckles, only about about having the ability to make ghosts jealous.

do people actually get made fun of for having freckles??

Kids can and will bully each other for literally anything.

Pope Corky the IX
Dec 18, 2006

What are you looking at?
Vat Phou

Josef bugman
Nov 17, 2011

Pictured: Poster prepares to celebrate Holy Communion (probablY)

This avatar made possible by a gift from the Religionthread Posters Relief Fund

Larry Cum Free posted:

Usually I figure out weird acronyms in this thread from context, but I'm throwing in the towel on PHUO.

Personally Held Unpopular Opinion.

Larry Cum Free
Jun 3, 2022

move it or lose it dillweed
Ah, so not Public Health Update (Opera), thanks!

I'd also rather sit next to someone eating a giant bag of pop rocks and kettle chips than sit next to someone wearing their sweaty gym clothes :whitewater:

BOOTY-ADE
Aug 30, 2006

BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

emSparkly posted:

I would bet the parents have the means to save their own house and are being entitled boomers who want their kid to take care of them forever. Complete buffoonery.

All but guaranteed, looks like dad has 3 months to get his poo poo together. Wonder how long he’s been unemployed & taking advantage of his daughter…

captainOrbital
Jan 23, 2003

Wrathchild!
💢🧒

Danger posted:

The YouTube video that had to explain the humor is exponentially worse than just admitting you don’t get the humor

Maggie Mae Fish is a hero and a scholar

CharlestheHammer
Jun 26, 2011

YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

Danger posted:

The YouTube video that had to explain the humor is exponentially worse than just admitting you don’t get the humor

Worse to who? You?

Because I think most people can live with that

Molybdenum
Jun 25, 2007
Melting Point ~2622C
I think like a lot of satire and irony when it is taken out of context of the entire set the opera bit ends up looking like what it is mocking.

wheatpuppy
Apr 25, 2008

YOU HAVE MY POST!

Larry Cum Free posted:

Ah, so not Public Health Update (Opera), thanks!

I'd also rather sit next to someone eating a giant bag of pop rocks and kettle chips than sit next to someone wearing their sweaty gym clothes :whitewater:

Did I misread that post, or did he just change into his jeans like, in a corner of the lobby? Instead of using the bathroom?

mllaneza
Apr 28, 2007

Veteran, Bermuda Triangle Expeditionary Force, 1993-1952




wheatpuppy posted:

Did I misread that post, or did he just change into his jeans like, in a corner of the lobby? Instead of using the bathroom?

He had jeans with him, he just didn't put them on.

Midnight Voyager
Jul 2, 2008

Lipstick Apathy

mllaneza posted:

He had jeans with him, he just didn't put them on.

quote:

So seeing all the actually nicely dressed people arriving to the venue, my partner annoyingly said that I would probably want him to wear the jeans, and now we have to find a place for him to go change, even though he is not so keen on it. I was relieved and did not want to argue, so I did not say much about it, and we had to go around the corner for him to change.

Hughlander
May 11, 2005

This is a long one but I couldn't not post it due to the bolded part at the end of the update

Am I wrong for being uncomfortable with my wife being friends with her friend after something she accused me of?

quote:

My wife and I have this mutual friend (ex-friend for me - let's call her Kate) who we both knew independently and introduced us. Over the years, Kate and I drifted apart but still talked frequently. She's always been more of my wife's friend than me (best friend from childhood, etc) so it's never really bothered me.

A few years ago, someone tangentially part of our friend group that I only semi-knew confided in Kate that I solicited her for nudes. This person I had only talked to maybe once or twice and it was only ever about her art, although it's worth mentioning she has a good side hustle drawing hentai. All I ever really said was she was talented at it and I liked her art.

I guess one of the pieces I particularly liked was a self portrait (I won't get too into the details, but it looked nothing like her and was an anime girl, so I'm not sure how I would know that). Kate told my wife about this, who spent a week being upset about it before telling me. I showed her the chats we had and that was the end of it. EDIT: I'll add that what I said about the 'self portrait' was something along the lines of "holy poo poo, this one's perfect - the lighting and the figure are really hot, you should be doing this as a day job!"

She apparently only mentioned it in passing to Kate as "interesting" (her words apparently). Kate took it upon herself to tell my wife about it. When my wife confronted the friend, she didn't think I was trying to get nudes or anything but thought I knew it was a self portrait.

A few months later, Kate decided to take it upon herself to then tell my wife I asked to see pictures of her feet. Admittedly, I have a foot fetish (something my wife divulged to her which I'm not particularly cool with but I'm not super ashamed of it or anything, so I don't care all that much).

The conversation Kate (in my opinion) misconstrued was her venting about how frustrating and objectifying it is that she feels like every guy wants to see her naked, and all I did was sympathize with that and said something along the lines of "Yeah, I mean, I'll admit there's a split second intrusive though about that I'll get when I meet people but it's probably some caveman lizard brain poo poo". When my wife brought it up, I again showed her the messages, and she agreed it was a misunderstanding.

Although when she brought it back to Kate - trying to mediate the situation rather than defending it as a misunderstanding - Kate was adamant I was subtly fishing for nudes and feet pics. Wife didn't ask for this, but I let her go through all the messages again and my phone/computer, and she found nothing. Kate decided to cut contact with me and I haven't heard her from her since.

EDIT: I commented this below but here's the exact conversation I had with Kate:

Kate: I'm just so sick of it ugh

Kate: Like the one guy from work I told you about

Kate: The mentor guy

Kate: He offers to take me to a place he knows to find something to wear to the presentation we're giving next week

Kate: So I go with him and we're looking and he keeps 'joking' that we should look at lingerie?

Kate: ??????? Like HUH?????

Kate: What is it with men?

Kate: Like is it all "OH WOMAN. MUST SEE THEIR BOOBS."

Me: What the gently caress lmao

Me: Is that the dude who offered to pay for the extra e-learning poo poo?

Kate: YES!

Kate: I thought he was genuinely being nice but I guess not???

Kate: Yet another in a long line of men who just want to see me naked

Kate: Is it all men? Like I don't get it it's so loving exhausting

Me: I mean I've had the passing "huh she's attractive, I wonder what she looks like underneath her clothes" but they're more intrusive thoughts than anything I'd ever actively pursue because I'm not a monster

Kate: EXACTLY! I have the same thoughts too sometimes but it's like

Kate: I don't go around asking to see every hot guy's dick?

Me: Maybe that's what he's hoping for 😂😂

Kate: HE HAS A WIFE TOO SO IT'S LIKE???????

I'll see Kate from time to time. Wife will have her over or they'll be talking on Discord. I'll be polite and say hello, but she'll turn her back from me or very blatantly ignore me. Which is fine - if that's what she wants to do, then so be it. But there was one time that particularly pissed me off: they were sitting out back, and I had come through to bring in groceries and put some stuff away in our shed. She had sandals on, and when she saw me, she asked my wife if she could borrow a pair of socks, which my wife obliged.

Putting it bluntly, I'm uncomfortable with her being friends with Kate. My wife doesn't have many friends though as she suffers from some pretty bad mental health issues and doesn't get out much, and I don't want to be some controlling rear end in a top hat telling her who she can and can't be friends with. I just hate feeling like I have to be on guard when she's around, and I particularly hate that my wife - who agreed it was a misunderstanding on Kate's part and probably poor wording on mine - didn't defend me.

I haven't told her to stop being friends with Kate, but I have mentioned that maybe she shouldn't invite Kate around if I'm home, or if we're going somewhere and Kate is there, I'll stay home. Wife says I'm just making the situation more awkward and making things uncomfortable for her being that she's her best friend and I'm her husband.

For context: some time before this, I had a friend who expressed concern that my wife might be telling me she didn't want me to go out and see my friends anymore. This was one me, as the relationship was new, I had a new job, and wasn't really fond of going out to bars anymore and never communicated this. He was particularly disrespectful about it and I cut him off without question. I don't expect her to cut her off, but I would at a minimum appreciate her telling Kate off when she does particularly disrespectful things. Am I wrong here?

Update - 6 days later

quote:

So I ended up showing my wife the original post because we had another argument about Kate. She read through it and some of the comments. I think she had a bit of a 'coming to Jesus' moment as she came and sat down and agreed that Kate has been acting weird about this whole situation.

We talked it out and I admitted I wasn't comfortable with Kate anymore and wouldn't stand in the way of them being friends but I don't want her coming around the house anymore, so she agreed she would 1) not bring Kate here anymore and 2) have a talk with Kate about what her problem is.

Over the long weekend, we decided to forgo our usual tradition of going to one of our parents' for a big meal and just stayed in and ordered takeout. Wife and Kate made plans to hang out too, which was fine as I had some personal hobby stuff I wanted to log some time on.

Kate apparently did not take being told she can't come over when I'm home very well, because she sent me a long message about how I'm controlling and abusive. Wife snapped and called her. They argued on the phone for a while. I didn't listen or anything but wife told me she set Kate straight and basically told her she needs to cut the poo poo and apologize to me or she'll cut out Kate.

After midnight on Sunday, I got my apology from Kate. It seemed pretty heartfelt and sincere but I just said "thank you for the apology, please understand I'm fine with you and wife being friends, but I would prefer to continue just being pleasant with each other". She didn't respond right away and I went to sleep. I woke up in the middle of the night to pee, and saw she had responded. And uh. This is where it got a bit odd.

She sent a photo of her legs with her feet in the frame, in front of the mirror, so I was sure to see all of her feet. It seemed intentional to me honestly. One foot had a heel on the other was bare. She accompanied this with the message "What do you think? Y/N?" I woke up my wife to show her because I didn't want this too to be blown out of context by her.

Wife took a minute to comprehend what was happening and concluded she probably meant to send that to her since they get each other's opinions on outfits and shoes (bit weird to do at 1am imo but made sense). I replied "Uh sorry did you mean to send that to me??" In the morning, she had unsent the photo and message and said nothing else.

Later in the day, she called my wife and said she 'accidentally' sent me a picture of her new shoes and her feet were in them, and wanted my wife to confirm I didn't save it to 'use later'. I think this is where my wife started piecing together what some of the comments were saying about Kate being a poo poo stirrer, put the phone on speaker, and flat out asked if Kate did it on purpose.

Kate got angry and asked how my wife could think that. Wife just said "because you know he has a foot fetish and sent him a foot guy's equivalent of a full body nude". She started demanding she check my phone because she was "having a panic attack over the thought of me jerking off to her feet".

My wife rarely gets angry or petty, it's just not who she is, but my wife basically replied to that with "Uh Kate, you should've said something sooner. I thought it was an apology photo for him, so I already jerked him off while he looked at it".

There was a huge, hours-long argument that followed but tl;dr - Kate is no more. Apparently their friend group has wanted to stop dealing with her bullshit for some time and all jumped on this to cut her out. Sayonara Kate, you loving drama queen.

wheatpuppy
Apr 25, 2008

YOU HAVE MY POST!

mllaneza posted:

He had jeans with him, he just didn't put them on.

I meant the bit where she said, "we had to go around the corner to find a place for him to change.". I took that to mean he did actually change, but it is not explained well.

Here is a totally mature, grown-up man:

AITA for grounding my daughter for ruining our vacation

quote:

My husband, daughter (15), step kids (13, 16), and I just came back from a 2 week vacation.

My daughter is very smart and is very good at a lot of things. She’s also very competitive. My husband is also very competitive.

My daughter started off this vacation by telling my husband there was sudoku on the plane and explaining how to play. He didn’t know that she’s been playing sudoku for months. She made a bet with him that if she finishes the hardest level first, he’d buy her wifi for the flight and if he finished first she’d share a bed with his younger daughter on the trip (his younger daughter was complaining about sharing with his oldest because she kicks and sleeps in the middle of the bed. She beat him and pestered him until he bought the wifi.

When we got there she’d challenge him to races on land and in the pool (she’s won medals at state track meets and has been swimming since she was 2). Every day she’d challenge him to something, win, and he’d have to buy her something from the resort or local shops.

My husband was getting sick of losing and my stepdaughters were upset that their dad was buying her stuff and not them so I told my daughter she either couldn’t compete with her stepdad or she had to let him win.

She decided to tell her stepdad that she wasn’t allowed to compete with him anymore because he couldn’t handle losing. This made them start to argue so I told her that if she didn’t keep it up she’d be grounded to the resort for the rest of the trip (a little over a week at this point). She decided to test me so I stuck to my word and she was left at the resort while the rest of us went out every day.

The vacation was much more enjoyable without her turning everything into a competition but she told her dad when she got back that we grounded her and he’s mad at me now for leaving her there and excluding her from the vacation because my husband couldn’t act like an adult.

I told him my daughter was warned to stop but she decided to test me and now he’s forcing her to stick to the custody schedule (technically I have her every other weekend but he was letting her go back and forth whenever she wanted) and is threatening to go to court for child support and back pay.

AITA for grounding her for ruining the vacation?

What, you expect the adult to control himself? He can't say "no" to a bet, that'd be a sign of weakness! Instead he will just pout dramatically every time he is bested by a child.

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



wheatpuppy posted:

Did I misread that post, or did he just change into his jeans like, in a corner of the lobby? Instead of using the bathroom?

I thought they meant "around the corner" as in finding another place nearby with a bathroom or something, but that would be the funnier option

mystes
May 31, 2006

Hughlander posted:

This is a long one but I couldn't not post it due to the bolded part at the end of the update

Am I wrong for being uncomfortable with my wife being friends with her friend after something she accused me of?


Update - 6 days later

Well I certainly wasn't expecting that one to end that way lol. I thought they were heading for a divorce or something.

Hughlander
May 11, 2005

wheatpuppy posted:

I meant the bit where she said, "we had to go around the corner to find a place for him to change.". I took that to mean he did actually change, but it is not explained well.

Here is a totally mature, grown-up man:

AITA for grounding my daughter for ruining our vacation

What, you expect the adult to control himself? He can't say "no" to a bet, that'd be a sign of weakness! Instead he will just pout dramatically every time he is bested by a child.

I'm imagining the daughter had a list of more and more elaborate 'bets' that she would win and is really disappointed that she only got through the first page. "Ok stepdad, this is a Carolina Reaper the hottest pepper known to man, if you can eat it and not puke, I'll babysit for a year, but if I can eat it you have to buy me a car. What? How do I know about them, no reason and no I haven't spent the last 4 years being a Jr Competitive Eater lol that's funny you'd even think that. Ok ready?"

Fork of Unknown Origins
Oct 21, 2005
Gotta Herd On?
The dad deserved to have his vacation ruined for falling for that twice, let alone more

Midnight Voyager
Jul 2, 2008

Lipstick Apathy

wheatpuppy posted:

I meant the bit where she said, "we had to go around the corner to find a place for him to change.". I took that to mean he did actually change, but it is not explained well.

Here is a totally mature, grown-up man:

AITA for grounding my daughter for ruining our vacation

What, you expect the adult to control himself? He can't say "no" to a bet, that'd be a sign of weakness! Instead he will just pout dramatically every time he is bested by a child.

quote:

The WiFi was expensive. I didn’t want him to buy it for any of the kids. I wasn’t going to tell him to waste even more money just because my daughter tricked him into a stupid bet

This is the bet version of that lady who said she was mind controlled into an affair.

the holy poopacy
May 16, 2009

hey! check this out
Fun Shoe

Hughlander posted:

This is a long one but I couldn't not post it due to the bolded part at the end of the update

Am I wrong for being uncomfortable with my wife being friends with her friend after something she accused me of?


Update - 6 days later


r/relationships - I thought it was an apology photo for him, so I already jerked him off while he looked at it

Midnight Voyager
Jul 2, 2008

Lipstick Apathy

Hughlander posted:

This is a long one but I couldn't not post it due to the bolded part at the end of the update

Am I wrong for being uncomfortable with my wife being friends with her friend after something she accused me of?


Update - 6 days later


also, considering that response, I SUSPECT I know how the wife was the one who wanted to put up with a massive poo poo-stirrer the longest of anyone. You don't say that unless you don't like to stir poo poo just a bit!

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Kurieg
Jul 19, 2012

RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20
:blizz::gamefreak:

Midnight Voyager posted:

also, considering that response, I SUSPECT I know how the wife was the one who wanted to put up with a massive poo poo-stirrer the longest of anyone. You don't say that unless you don't like to stir poo poo just a bit!

Yeah, it can be fun to be friends with a poo poo stirrer but it can blind you to when it's happening to people close to you.

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