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Dang It Bhabhi! posted:If I have to ask my coworker a question I have to ask him 5 god damned times in a loving row before this motherfucker will register ALL the words in his brain. Even if I say them slowly, clearly and am as brief as possible. gently caress this untreated adhd-rear end motherfucker. They may be a chronic alcoholic, too.
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May 1, 2024 18:03
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Splicer posted:No harm in trying. It's not like another company will anti-hire you. I actually had that happen one time when I worked for an outsourcing firm. I took an afternoon off to go for an interview for a contracting gig for the same customer. The difference would be a huge pay increase and the job would be contract-to-hire. The interview went really well, to the point where one of the program leads I worked with at the customer pulled me aside and asked if I was really leaving the outsourcing firm. Well, it turns out that the way my statement of work was written with the outsourcing company the customer thought I was technically a contractor and contractors had a two-year-at-a-time restriction. I had been there for three years. So I'm in my car thinking I was about to accept a new job and instead got told that I wasn't able to be hired and that the customer's legal department was going to call my current company later in the day to let them know they had found an irregularity that would require them to let me go. I ran up the five stories to our office instead of waiting for the elevators to tell my management that I just got a call from the Statement of Work owner that there was a problem and legal was going to call soon. At the time the outsourcing company was extremely paranoid about the customer pulling people to their side and would fire you if there were even hints you were looking to switch. Thankfully, I got in there fast enough they called legal first and they never found out how the customer actually caught wind of the SOW being off. They just moved me to an established and fine outsourcing position for the next year before I got the gently caress out of there.
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May 1, 2024 19:28
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Surprise surprise, one of our best developers handed in his notice today. Asked my boss if it was expected and he's been complaining about his salary for a while. For context since I've been here (coming up to 3 years) the only salary increases they've handed out are to people who are being paid well below their market value, everyone else gets diddly squat. My boss has tried to raise it with HR and they've given nothing back. He's concerned there'll be more in the next few months, which is a shame because most people have been here for years if not decades. Why yes we are doing a massive recruitment drive and hiring contractors for a year, why do you ask?
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May 1, 2024 20:32
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A few months ago, an internal auditor launched a CAPA after having a conversation with one of my daytime counterparts. My counterpart categorically denies the auditor’s version of the conversation*, and somehow this CAPA wound up with my name on it as primary investigator. I told my boss I wasn’t going to touch it. Two weeks later it was on the open CAPA report and I reminded my boss I wasn’t going to touch it. Two weeks later it was still on the open CAPA report and boss asked me what I needed to complete it. I said I need it reassigned, because I am not touching it. Two weeks later it was still on the open CAPA report and I reminded him again the reason this CAPA exists and that I wasn’t touching it. Today he forwarded an email from his boss, wanting to know why this CAPA wasn’t closed. I guess we are at an impasse. *my counterpart was sitting in his office with his laptop rebooting from a windows update. The auditor walks in, says, can you pull up document X? Counterpart gestures to his rebooting computer, and the auditor leaves. Auditor writes up a noncompliance stating that “department would not produce procedures when asked”
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May 1, 2024 21:00
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Write "members of staff advised to communicate verbally so that auditors do not misinterpret gestures and visual cues" and close it.
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May 1, 2024 21:08
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Write "suggest that internal auditor removes their head from their rear end in a top hat to see that it is impossible to immediately comply with their request" and close it.
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May 1, 2024 21:12
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The temptation to do that is why I must not touch this CAPA
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May 1, 2024 22:19
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tactlessbastard posted:A few months ago, an internal auditor launched a CAPA after having a conversation with one of my daytime counterparts. My counterpart categorically denies the auditor’s version of the conversation*, and somehow this CAPA wound up with my name on it as primary investigator. What is a CAPA and why wouldn't your boss reassign it? Did they say they were gonna reassign it and not do it? My manager likes to tell me they will take care of something/reassign it, then go ahead and take zero action - making the situation worse, then push it back to me when the whole thing is a loving shambles and stakeholders are nice and angry
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May 1, 2024 22:32
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Chewbecca posted:why wouldn't your boss reassign it? The first step in managing anything is to do nothing
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May 1, 2024 22:48
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Salami Surgeon posted:The first step in managing anything is to do nothing Chewbecca posted:My manager likes to tell me they will take care of something/reassign it, then go ahead and take zero action - making the situation worse, then push it back to me when the whole thing is a loving shambles and stakeholders are nice and angry 
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May 1, 2024 22:54
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My manager told me they were given the advice at a leadership retreat not to bother reading all emails, and that if it was important enough they would email again So now when I send an email to my manager I also follow up with a Teams message so they know this is an email I need them to read (all of them) I knew it was insane when I heard it but it's even worse written out lol Edit: idk about you guys, but I don't send emails for fun, it's because there is information I want to communicate Chewbecca fucked around with this message at 23:00 on May 1, 2024 |
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May 1, 2024 22:58
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My manager got aggravated with me yesterday because I didn’t know something he claimed to have emailed me. I went back and checked, and what he expected me to know was not in the email. And he also doesn’t read emails so cmon man, sauce for the goose
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May 1, 2024 23:07
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You gotta print the email for it to become real. Then you can hand write your thoughts on it
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May 1, 2024 23:29
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I have rung my manager to screen share my email and take them through it haha
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May 1, 2024 23:48
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What paygrade do you gotta be to be able to ignore emails, and how do I reach it
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May 1, 2024 23:49
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An email came in: 12 minutes later:  So I guess we're removing Firefox for all users, except for users that want to keep using it? What?
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May 1, 2024 23:58
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Oh how I love brand new PMs that are covering for other slightly less new PMs. So yesterday a PM emails me a request to set up an outage for a contractor to go out to a site and measure inside some distribution switchgear. Of course the catch is he wants this outage in a week, when the normal submittal is 7 weeks. I respond that next week is so not happening, and that I need additional information quickly to even make an attempt for the last week of May. In his request email were some other people, and one of them was the regional manager of field techs. He chimes in that in addition the PM will need to arrange the physical group to escort the contractor to open up the switchgear. And that the physical group is super busy this time of year. Basically reiterating that next week ain’t gonna happen, and before summer is kinda unlikely. So of course, the newbie PM responds almost immediately after the manager, asking at my earliest convenience to confirm the outage for next week. Tomorrow I have to find a way to basically say “per my last email, NOPE”.
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May 2, 2024 00:30
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Chewbecca posted:What paygrade do you gotta be to be able to ignore emails, and how do I reach it Get to whatever level I am, because I aint reading shiiiiiiit
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May 2, 2024 01:01
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Barudak posted:Get to whatever level I am, because I aint reading shiiiiiiit Nice to see my manager also has an account on a dead, gay comedy forum Can we have posting as one of my kpi's?
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May 2, 2024 01:08
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Orvin posted:Oh how I love brand new PMs that are covering for other slightly less new PMs. I have found significant success in replying with "No." You'd be surprised at how easily passive aggressive poo poo stirrers completely implode if you don't give wiggle room. You said too much the first time and gave them options that they ignored. Just fire off a 'no' and see what happens.
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May 2, 2024 02:35
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Ravus Ursus posted:I have found significant success in replying with "No." Just send the last email as a forward
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May 2, 2024 04:02
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Ravus Ursus posted:I have found significant success in replying with "No." "No" is a complete sentence. It can even be a complete paragraph!
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May 2, 2024 04:11
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"Asked and answered."
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May 2, 2024 04:12
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Reply agreeing that you will confirm the outage a week before it occurs
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May 2, 2024 04:40
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Wifi Toilet posted:
Sudden outbreak of common sense.
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May 2, 2024 04:59
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My guess is someone senior enough kicked up a stink re: Firefox and it all became too much
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May 2, 2024 05:04
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Sounds like a rogue manager in either desktop support/engineering and/or security finally found out people were using fox instead of Chrome or Edge and fired at the hip to remove it.
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May 2, 2024 07:07
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thathonkey posted:2am scrolling job postings on linked in is a sign things are going so well at my work Linkedin is now for political posts and marriage announcements
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May 2, 2024 07:47
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I have become convinced that like 95% of all the problems in society are related to management in some way, get rid of 95% of them.
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May 2, 2024 07:51
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His Divine Shadow posted:I have become convinced that like 95% of all the problems in society are related to management in some way, get rid of 95% of them. you sound like a manager
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May 2, 2024 08:27
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Then I want a raise and a bonus too
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May 2, 2024 09:58
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Wifi Toilet posted:An email came in:
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May 2, 2024 12:03
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Ravus Ursus posted:I have found significant success in replying with "No." "NOT confirmed. Per my last email we can't do that week. It needs to be another week. Regards"
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May 2, 2024 12:08
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Splicer posted:Yep. Step one is a mail with information and explanation. Step two is Pretty much this. If I just fire off an initial “No” email, the PM is going to run to their manager and then I have to do all the explaining to the manager. I learned a long time ago that saying no at this company will get you an insane amount of attention from management. Unless you have a defendable reason for why. So usually I have to put it as “This other department will laugh your request out of the room for these reasons.” Luckily, occasionally a PM is extra dumb, and I can blatantly say “No, you can not shut off all sources of power to a car manufacturing plant for 2 months. No way is that ever going to get approved. Send that back to engineering and redesign the project.”
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May 2, 2024 12:24
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That's when you reply with how much the project will need to pay out for lost wages and revenue because of their decision. If no doesn't work, 6 and 7 figure costs will.
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May 2, 2024 12:56
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Chewbecca posted:What paygrade do you gotta be to be able to ignore emails, and how do I reach it If your work email ends in .gov.au, it's EL2 and above. Not sure how to get there just yet, as my EL2 doesn't reply to any of my emails
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May 2, 2024 14:10
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"I think it's important to say that our old strategy wasn't wrong, it didn't need changing, but the strategy wasn't working any more and didn't let us act in the ways that we needed to..."
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May 2, 2024 14:13
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goatface posted:"I think it's important to say that our old strategy wasn't wrong, it didn't need changing, but the strategy wasn't working any more and didn't let us act in the ways that we needed to..." "Our old strategy was working so well that we decided to upgrade it to the next level. You see, the point of a strategy is to make itself superfluous, and  "-CEO at a previous place of work (bleeding money every quarter).
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May 2, 2024 14:53
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Chewbecca posted:Edit: idk about you guys, but I don't send emails for fun, it's because there is information I want to communicate Think about all the useless emails you receive, including ones where you're cc'd via a mailing list you haven't Even Heard Of, bullshit from HR about Great New Opportunities Via A Partnership To Get A 10% Employee Discount at Chili's, self masturbatory upper management announcements and the subsequent "congrats!" auto responses, Important Corporate News (prwire press releases), and so on, and so forth. I found great success in moving everything that wasn't addressed directly to me or a very specific set of mailing lists out of the inbox and into something I check once a day. I further filtered those to auto-mark most of them as already read. Turns out important email that you want to be communicated (or communicated to you) is a single digit percentage? But if whoever you're messaging isn't already doing aggressive filtering, your email could absolutely just be caught in the morass (more like 'all rear end' amirite???) of their inbox
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May 2, 2024 14:58
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Volmarias posted:I found great success in moving everything that wasn't addressed directly to me or a very specific set of mailing lists out of the inbox and into something I check once a day. Oh wow, you check yours?
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May 2, 2024 15:08
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