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 OH HELL YEAah the UFC makes it's return here to Austin, Texas and who better than my illustrious self, the global icon and national treasure Steve Austin to give y'alls asses a breakdown of tonight's card. When I'm riding my ford bronco around the ranch in deer season and I come home from a long day there's nothing I like more than to sit down in my home at the broken skull ranch and crack open a beer and watch some UFC. Some people ask me, Steve, would you ever do like Brock Lesnar did with his career and get your rear end in the octagon? Well you see folks, I'm used to a square ring with 4 sides and 3 ropes, you put me in a caged octagon and I don't know my head from my rear end. Whether it's me or my opponent dishing out the rear end whippings I couldn't tell you what side of said octagon the hard camera would reside, you take 4 sides and make it 8 and that's just too much horseshit for someone of my stature to be dealing with. You will never see my rear end inside an octagon, but I can drat sure give you a rundown of some of these upcoming fights, so with that bullshit out of the way let's get down to business.  MAIN EVENT - Frankie Edgar vs. Cub Swanson   Now Frankie Edgar is a very technically sound cat when it comes to the fight game, he has all the faculties you want in a fighter but the only thing going he has going against him is that streak of bad luck with judges which culminated in a recent couple of decision losses in 5 round title fights. But his work is snug enough we may yet see him have a good few miles in the tank left for a babyface run at the title. Cub Swanson on the other hand is one of those cats who has found out what's wrong with his game and made major changes. He was on a run where he was just content with his position and that's no way to be in this business. Evidently he got sick of lolligagging, pussyfooting and fiddlefuckin' around and improved immensely on his working ability and has gone on a monster run in the last couple of years. Going up against a guy like Frankie Edgar is his toughest test yet no doubt about it. If he can persevere to win this one, there is little doubt in my mind he will cement himself as the number one contender for the strap. STEVE'S PICK  : I got to take Frankie Edgar in this one, Cub Swanson is a dangerous opponent no doubt, but being a multi-time world champion myself I know the heart of a champion when I see it. Coming off the back of those title fight losses Frankie's just gonna be too drat hungry for Cub to keep up, and that's the bottom line cuz I said so.CO-MAIN EVENT - Bobby Green vs. Edson Barboza  Now ladies & gentlemen you've got to give it up for Bobby Green, he's gone on a heck of a run with the odds against him the whole way, but you've got to wonder where his heads at when it comes to this fight. Bobby Green's family has been the victim of several gang related attacks in the last year, and there's suspicion that he might be making that walk into the sunset after this fight. Whatever it comes down to, Green is definitely a top contender in his division and it would be a drat shame to see him ride off after this one. Now Edson Barboza or Barbados or Bruiser Brody or whatever the gently caress, it doesn't matter what their names are they're all on Steve Austin's list and that means they're all gonna have their asses handed to them no doubt about it, gimme a hell yeah. Now Barboza has come this far in his MMA career with not many marks on his record, his most recent loss being to good ol' Cowboy Cerrone earlier this year in a first round choke finish. He's definitely capable but has yet to prove himself amongst top ranked competition, which Bobby Green most certainly is. In the business of pro-wrestling I always aimed to make the best of what opportunities were afforded to me in my career, and for Barboza this is certainly one of said big opportunities. STEVE'S PICK : Regardless of all the headaches, hassles and horseshit going on with Bobby Green's personal life, I definitely see him picking up the win in impressive fashion in this one, he's just too quick and too slick. It'd be a drat shame to see him retire and I hope he keeps it up when all is said and done.Brad Pickett vs. Chico Camus  "One Punch" Brad Pickett, hell son, looks to me as evidenced by the crooked nose on that slackjawed face of his he took "one punch" too many. Now don't get me wrong, Pickett is a capable bodied fighter and can definitely come away with the win. However, he has to make a statement if he wants to make a big impression in the flyweight division, which he has yet to do. His fundamentals are sound, and he just needs to polish up those techniques up and put it all together on the night if he wants to become more than the middling fighter he was up at bantamweight. Chico Camus is a cat I don't know a whole drat lot about, but from the sounds of his name I'm guessing he's of a sort of hispanic/latino descent. Now coming up in the WWE as the Ringmaster Steve Austin I had Puerto-Rico's own Savio Vega as my dance partner, and we'd be whippin' each others asses frontwards, backwards, up and down the dotted line all night in each and every town. If Chico Camus is anything like Savio was then he's drat sure capable of outworking his opponent and setting a faster pace. Essentially he could find himself being the one calling the match, and coming away with the much sought after win. STEVE'S PICK : Not knowing a whole lot about his opponent, I have to go with Brad Pickett in this one. If the right Brad Pickett shows up he can come out with the win against drat near anyone, so long as he can control where the fight takes place.Jared Rosholt vs. Oleksiy Oliynyk  Now when it comes to the heavyweights, that's a spectacle that is gonna make everyone in that crowd sit up and take notice. Jared Rosholt is your good ol' country boy and an all-american wrestler, as of yet undefeated in UFC. Oleksiy Olinyk is the big Russian with a mean submission-game and wrestling skills of his own. Rosholt is coming off a win over the "Hulkster" Soa Palelei this past June, whereas Oliynyk is coming off a first round submission finish of Anthony Hamilton using the same headlock he used to submit Mirko Cro Cop that earned him his UFC contract. STEVE'S PICK : Now normally I can't go against a good ol' american country boy but, Rosholt calls himself "The Big Show", and I've got to wonder did he get the green light from my buddy Paul Wight? Sounds like gimmick infringement to me and I don't take kindly to that, so in this case I'm gonna have to go with Oliynyk. That headlock move he employs so well reminds me of the performance put on by my good buddy "The Baby Faced Assassin" Josh Barnett most recently. Hell, maybe this big Russian cat has a pro-wrestling pedigree of his own, which is something I can definitely dig. My gut says Oliynik will nullify the wrestling skills of Rosholt with his own and submit him early for the win.Joseph Benavidez vs. Dustin Ortiz  When it comes to the flyweight division the "Mighty Mouse" Demetrious Johnson is king, and there only a few top guys close to his stature. With 2 losses to the champ Joseph Benavidez still remains at the top of his division and is drat near untouchable, if he could come away with the win and take another shot at the title then you got 2 guys from that Team Alpha Male camp as champions. You put those two guys as champs on a card defending their titles and you got a hell of a show for sure. Dustin Ortiz is coming in with a trio of split decisions in his last few fights, the 2 most recent being in his favour. If you want to be champ in his sport you drat sure want to get the win, but if you're gonna win let there be a clear and decisive winner with no doubt as to who the victor is. STEVE'S PICK : It's got to be Joe Benavidez, in devastating fashion. It's gonna be a short one folks, and I don't say that as pertains to the fighters being short or nothing. Don't get me wrong, those smaller guys can definitely go if given the chance, but Steve Austin likes a little meat on his steak if you know what I mean.Matt Wiman vs. Isaac Vallie-Flagg  Matt Wiman makes his return to that octagon for the first time in almost 2 years. He's had some good wins and some tough losses in his career, but there's no reason he would have decided to come back if he didn't have that babyface fire and hunger inside of him I'm always flappin' my gums about so often. Isaac Vallie-Flagg is coming off the back of a tough loss. Looking like a sorry sack of crap against "The Fireball Kid" Takanori Gomi (swig of beer for the working man), he finds himself in somewhat of a similar position to his opponent. Both men will come out of the gate stomping looking to prove they are the toughest son of a bitch in that octagon, and that they belong there. STEVE'S PICK : I've got to take Matt Wiman on this one, he's a simple kind of dude with no manager or sponsors or none of that horseshit. It kind of reminds me of myself back when Eric Bischoff fired me over the phone from WCW, I was out on my rear end and on my own at that time, and did I bitch or moan about it? Hell no. But what I did was I vented my frustrations in a creative and constructive manner, which got me my opportunity with WWE where I went on to become a huge star for period of time. I used that to cement my legacy as possibly one of the greatest to ever lace up a pair of boots, take that BMF walk to the ring and stomp a mudhole in somebody's rear end, and perhaps Matt Wiman can do the same if he truly wants it.Main Card - 9PM ET on FS1
handsome only face fucked around with this message at 22:48 on Nov 22, 2014 |
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Nov 22, 2014 22:01
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holy poo poo, best op made
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Nov 22, 2014 22:04
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5
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Nov 22, 2014 22:05
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5 e: holy gently caress, great minds think alike
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Nov 22, 2014 22:06
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Goldmine thread, commend OP Steve 'Cold Stone' Austin
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Nov 22, 2014 22:06
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I give this a 3:16
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Nov 22, 2014 22:06
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Nov 22, 2014 22:12
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Nov 22, 2014 22:19
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so what round is Frankie Edgar gonna get knocked out and still somehow come back and win the fight?
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Nov 22, 2014 22:28
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Nov 22, 2014 22:30
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-Atom- posted:so what round is Frankie Edgar gonna get knocked out and still somehow come back and win the fight? All.
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Nov 22, 2014 22:31
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Nov 22, 2014 22:32
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Nov 22, 2014 22:33
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 My thought on seeing that was: "whats wrong with this dude's face". Not just his face. 
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Nov 22, 2014 22:37
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that guys cool
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Nov 22, 2014 22:39
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good mma nickname
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Nov 22, 2014 22:41
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yeah it makes his seem like more of a rapist
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Nov 22, 2014 22:41
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Count Roland posted:yeah it makes his seem like more of a rapist are you retarded maybe its because hes grapply and looks like a bear or he likes to cuddle
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Nov 22, 2014 22:43
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Nov 22, 2014 22:43
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Sick, well-informed OP. Also, I didn't know Wiman was returning on this card, which is cool.
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Nov 22, 2014 22:44
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manyak posted:that guys cool agreed, pulling for josh copeland to prove that cyberbullies never prosper
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Nov 22, 2014 22:48
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Best GDT in a while.
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Nov 22, 2014 22:53
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i usually root for the dagestani fighters, but Cuddly Bear is some next level poo poo
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Nov 22, 2014 22:54
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Man this is actually a pretty okay card. I hope Choi is Cool.
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Nov 22, 2014 23:07
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Cuddly is the new bread of heavyweight fighter
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Nov 22, 2014 23:08
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this hasnt started yet right
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Nov 22, 2014 23:20
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manyak posted:this hasnt started yet right naw, 7 est for fp prelims we're watchign metamoris atm
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Nov 22, 2014 23:21
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Yuriy posted:naw, 7 est for fp prelims Do I need to pay somebody to watch this thing?
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Nov 22, 2014 23:41
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Count Roland posted:Do I need to pay somebody to watch this thing? yes
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Nov 22, 2014 23:44
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Nov 23, 2014 00:02
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I always wondered what the procedure was in Texas for executing the mentally handicapped, but I guess we'll find out tonight with Josh "I Like Graham Crackers And My Teddy Bear Is Named Jumbo" Copeland
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Nov 23, 2014 00:05
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fatherdog please embed this to play every page this thread https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=miFifM43-r8
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Nov 23, 2014 00:18
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I'm disappointed that the OP doesn't include a prediction where it's nothing but "What? ...what? What?"
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Nov 23, 2014 00:32
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maffew buildings posted:fatherdog please embed this to play every page this thread https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=miFifM43-r8 also, change the forum background to this. 
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Nov 23, 2014 00:46
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Yuriy posted:holy poo poo, best op made
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Nov 23, 2014 00:47
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attackmole posted:also, change the forum background to this. This looks fun as hell.
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Nov 23, 2014 00:58
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 to you, op
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Nov 23, 2014 01:04
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attackmole posted:also, change the forum background to this. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3Umrpux1NM
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Nov 23, 2014 01:04
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wait is this an early start card or what
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Nov 23, 2014 01:05
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| # ? Jun 8, 2024 00:08 |
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It's starting now
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Nov 23, 2014 01:07
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