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 What Is This? If you're reading this thread you probably already know what Crusader Kings 2 is from one of the approximately seven billion other LPs that have been done of it. Well, around New Year's I had an idea for a silly mod inserting the Ushiromiya family into CK2. Then I fell down a wiki hole. Some weeks later I had written this mod. And now I'm going to show it off for all of you. Is This Some Kind of Anime? Umineko no Naku koro ni is legitimately one of the greatest works of postmodernist literature of the 21st century. It is also goofy as hell sometimes. It is also available on Steam, or you can check out ProfessorProf's fantastic LPs of Part 1 and Part 2. Most importantly, Umineko is full of exactly the kind of backbiting assholes that make up a Medieval European court. A Word on Spoilers Umineko is, at it's heart, a mystery. If you haven't already read it, you should probably use those handy links above and do that. This thread will still be here in a few months when you're done. If you choose to continue anyway, you might want to know a few things. This LP isn't going to give away the central mystery, though it will reveal some back-story details, but the nature of a CK2 mod is that the longer it goes, the further off the rails the story gets. If you download the mod and know how to read the history files, you can probably spoil a lot more for yourself, so maybe don't go digging like that. For my fellow witches, try to respect what the LP does and doesn't spoil. I realize that is incredibly vague. Just remember that this is a thread for inside jokes and laughing when CK2 makes someone do something extremely in or out of character. Serious discussion about character motivations or plot elements has no place here. Where can I download this mod? This LP is kinda doubling as my final QC pass for bugs and such. If you spot any typos, please let me know. Once I'm satisfied everything is working properly, I'll put it on the Steam workshop. This thread will be the first to know when I do.
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Feb 22, 2018 05:53
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| # ? Jun 8, 2024 08:47 |
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Lord Goldsmith - 1067-1076 This is us, Duke Kinzo of Corsica, a genius of all manner of statecraft with a penchant for the occult. We own our own island, and are filthy, stinking rich. We have 4 legitimate children, as well as a bastard daughter in hiding. More on her later. Also our wife is there. There will not be more on her at any point.  This is our eldest son, Krauss. He has some very forward-thinking real estate investments, and a strong right cross.  Our eldest daughter, Eva. Of all our children she probably takes after us the most, easily the smartest and most competent. Of course, she's also a woman, so it's not like we'll be letting her actually do anything.  Our youngest son, Rudolf. Not the best stats, but he's at least clever enough to carry on with two different women at the same time. We'll see how that works out for him.  And Rosa, our youngest. She's still a child at this time, but already shows signs of anger-management issues.  So about that other daughter... Well anyway, we've got ourselves a (grand)child. Let's just foist them onto Krauss's wife, so nobody has to know about the terrible things we've done. Not like she's been able to produce an heir on her own.  Well, that could have gone better. There is another possible outcome to this event choice, but let's just say the odds of it happening aren't great.  You know what they say: when life gives you lemons, research dark magics to raise the dead.  Eva tries to convince us to give her Krauss's job. We tell her to stop bothering us and focus on making babies.   Dr. Lou Rudolf finds us a pretext for annexing one of our neighbors. The war is so uneventful I forget to take many screenshots of it.  Turns out Natsuhi wasn't barren after all.  Rudolf has also been busy.   Eva's husband tries to steal from us. We applaud his audacity.  Rosa comes of age, and you can see the full extent of the war. That's it, both sides marched their armies to the enemy capital, and we were faster.  As you can see, thoroughly uneventful.  Now that Rosa is officially an adult, it's time to get some use out of her. It turns out the former King of England had a bastard son. He has a strong, inheritable claim on the throne, and he is willing to marry Rosa matrilineally. That means the possibility of an Ushiromiya sitting on the throne of England. Congratulations Rosa, you've got a husband.  Eva continues to do the kind of work her father expects of her.  As I'm surveying our new duchy, something catches my eye.    Well I'm sure the kids will be able to peacefully work out the matter of succession on their own.  In 1070 Rudolf kicks off what will prove to be a decade and a half of non-stop partying.     Midway through the feasting, Duke Kinzo runs from the hall. Cries of "OH BEATRICE" can be heard echoing through the castle. He returns completely naked, says something about risk, and begins performing some sort of occult ritual. The rest of the party-goers seem to enjoy the show at least.  This time Natsuhi pops out a daughter. Ignore the event text. Everyone knows Krauss's daughter is named Jessica.  "The first thing you need to do is fill your house with explosives."  Congratulations Maria, you have a father!  Rudolf has also been busy. I suppose not acknowledging his bastard is a step up from stealing his mistresses child and passing it off as his wife's.   This is the closest thing to a healthy relationship Kinzo has ever had with one of his children.  Eva and Hideyoshi are having so many kids they don't even bother to name this one.  And now Maria is a big sister.  I'm honestly surprised it took this long for someone to plot to murder a family member.  Yeah nice try, Eva. Next time try not to get caught.  Some things never change.   Somehow Hideyoshi thinks just after his wife got caught trying to murder us is a good time to steal from us again. Really pushing your luck there.   Kinzo faces the most difficult decision of his life.  In the end he opts not to kill and eat his favorite son. No joke, I stared at that event for a solid ten minutes debating what option to pick. In the end losing Rudolf would have been too big a disruption to the story I was trying to tell. But man, if it had been like Asumu or Hideyoshi, Kinzo would have chowed the gently caress down. Did I make the wrong decision? Take this poll and let me know what you think.  Perhaps the decision to put another person's life ahead of his own desire for the first time was the last sign of his grip on this world finally failing. On April 18th, 1076, Duke Kinzo Ushiromiya was found dead in his study. On the same day, a new servant child arrived at the court of Corisca. These two events were completely unrelated. Probably. A little shop talk here: Because of the way the Yasu spawn event works, and time-scripted events in general, if Kinzo dies before October 1076, the event that spawns Yasu just will not fire. I did everything I could think of to keep him around, but CK2 just will not suffer a septuagenarian to live. So the screenshot is kind of a mess as I scrambled to keep things on the rails. In future versions of the mod I just said gently caress it and made Kinzo immortal for those nine years so he doesn't break the scripting. In this instance I used the console to fire the event, and the choice text really doesn't work coming from not-Kinzo. 
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Feb 22, 2018 05:54
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Yesssss! Also voted "yes" in the poll because of course.
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Feb 22, 2018 06:07
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World is a gently caress, kill em all 1076.
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Feb 22, 2018 06:07
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I wouldn't put anything past Kinzo...
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Feb 22, 2018 06:12
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This is genius.
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Feb 22, 2018 07:51
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what the gently caress am i reading
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Feb 22, 2018 13:32
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Radio Free Kobold posted:what the gently caress am i reading Without love, it cannot be seen.
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Feb 22, 2018 23:11
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Radio Free Kobold posted:what the gently caress am i reading 10 tons of solid gold ingots stamped with visual novel injokes.
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Feb 23, 2018 01:15
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Indeed, nothing could be put past Kinzo.
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Feb 23, 2018 01:19
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Holy moly, this is fantastic. It's going to be reeeeeal fun when we get a bunch of non-canonical next gen Ushiromiyas.
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Feb 23, 2018 01:21
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PetraCore posted:Holy moly, this is fantastic. It's going to be reeeeeal fun when we get a bunch of non-canonical next gen Ushiromiyas. I cant wait to see the kids Beatrice and Battler will have together.
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Feb 23, 2018 01:51
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Maybe Maria will have a better life, maybe?
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Feb 23, 2018 02:26
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Can't wait for Maria to be the antichrist and die.
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Feb 23, 2018 04:54
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PetraCore posted:Can't wait for Maria to be the antichrist and die. The totally loving for real supernatural stuff in CK2 does beg the question how far down the hole this goes. E: were you lore accurate with the other baby outcome odds?
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Feb 23, 2018 10:49
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I love everything about this. Krauss should have the Imbecile trait.
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Feb 23, 2018 14:54
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Rodyle posted:The totally loving for real supernatural stuff in CK2 does beg the question how far down the hole this goes. quote:E: were you lore accurate with the other baby outcome odds? I chose a value that should seem that way to a mortal human. Dire Chinchilla posted:I love everything about this.
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Feb 23, 2018 18:16
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Moon Futures - 1076-1086 This is the current head of the Ushiromiya family. Decent at speaking, pretty good at fighting, and an absolute trash baby at anything related to money or intrigue.  As another consequence of Rudolf's eternal party, he and Krauss actually get along.  Rudolf even introduces Krauss to a friend of his, I hear he has some excellent investment opportunities.  Krauss sets out to prove he's just as good at making money as his father was.  Turns out Krauss is a pretty good dad.   Rudolf invites Krauss to yet another feast.   The purpose this feast turns out to be kicking Krauss's rear end at chess. This will be a running theme of these parties for years to come.  Eva continues to look for ways to seize the headship for herself. She still needs to work on the not getting caught part, though.  Presented without comment.   Seriously, from this point forward just assume this happens once every year or two.  Eva cannot stand the idea of Ushiromiya siblings actually getting along, so she tries to spread vicious lies about Rudolf to tear the brothers apart.  "You're my daughter, of course you should be proud."  George comes of age. He ends up decidedly mediocre, despite Eva's best efforts.  In a sharp contrast to Kinzo, Krauss tries encouraging, rather than abusing, his children.  Jessica is proving to be a very outgoing and friendly girl.  Some people show up asking for money, so Krauss gives it to them.  Somehow this actually pays off.  Krauss tries to impress upon his son the joy to be found in making friends and losing at chess. Also it's 1083 now and Krauss has turned 50, which CK2 considers really old.  Always invest in real estate, no matter where it is.  Wonders never cease.  Natsuhi has an idea for making even more money. With his position already secure and his pride satisfied, Krauss has no reason to reject his wife's help.  Always spend money.  Always accept free money.   The key to all successful endeavors is to throw some of your 20 tons of gold at it.  No way is Krauss gonna insult his wife like that, no matter what the sultan thinks.   Krauss demonstrates his debate skills and makes a new friend.  I am honestly as shocked as the rest of you.  Up is down, black is white, Krauss is actually turning a profit.  He takes Natsuhi on a lavish date to celebrate.  "Tomorrow I'll take you to the fields and teach you how to punch a goat."  Bartolomeo takes after his uncle.  The next head does whatever he wants and doesn't care about the consequences.  It seems George has increased his combat prowess considerably. This could be a worrying sign.  Battler is... competent? Also, please take note of the siblings at the bottom. Rudolf has been busy, and that's not even counting the bastard with Kyrie who he didn't acknowledge.  "Whoa! No Jessica, remember, when you accidentally kill a peasant's goat, you gotta pay him for it."  After nine solid years of getting his rear end kicked. Krauss finally manages to win a game of chess.  Eva's first daughter comes of age. She takes after her mother in many ways.  I see nothing that could possibly go wrong with appointing the daughter of the woman who has spent the better part of a decade plotting to take your title as your spymaster.   Spending money non-stop hasn't failed yet, I see no reason to stop now.  Krauss goes out to inspect a broken bridge, just him and Eva.   I don't know what to say. The year is 1086, and the Ushiromiya siblings are actually acting like a family.  And then a few months later this happens. And then over the course of two days... Seriously, so many events fire the game can't process them all in a single day. I think it's appropriate.  Something happens to Bartolomeo.  From George? But that would mean-  Oh. Oh dear.  Duke Krauss and most of his family has died under mysterious circumstances. Jessica Ushiromiya is now the duchess of Corsica.  The only other survivor is... Battler's little sister. Asumu's daughter, not Kyrie's. I was not expecting this. Next update: Moon-chan.
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Mar 2, 2018 06:01
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Holy poo poo!
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Mar 2, 2018 06:32
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Oh wow. I'm floored that of all things Moon-chan is what happened.
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Mar 2, 2018 06:36
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There's actually a Fragment with all of that happening. I am amazed.
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Mar 2, 2018 06:36
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drat, I was rooting for Eva and her daughter. Is this a one time event, or will it happen once in a while?
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Mar 2, 2018 14:30
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Oh my god. What's the moon-chan thing btw?
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Mar 3, 2018 05:42
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So far this is no less baffling than a standard CK2 LP.
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Mar 3, 2018 06:11
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PetraCore posted:Oh my god. It means Jessica Culprit theory. I'll leave it to someone else to explain why. Suffice it to say when Umineko was coming out, there were a lot of strange theories with spurious reasoning.
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Mar 3, 2018 06:52
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ZiegeDame posted:It means Jessica Culprit theory. I'll leave it to someone else to explain why. Suffice it to say when Umineko was coming out, there were a lot of strange theories with spurious reasoning. The summary is that the tarot deck for the anime had Jessica as Moon. Moon generally references illusion, deception, and hidden things, none of which really applied to Jessica. So the obvious answer was Moon-chan, and Jessica was Beatrice all along.
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Mar 3, 2018 14:35
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90%, not 100%? Any special events pop up if he survives it?
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Mar 4, 2018 00:36
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Cyouni posted:The summary is that the tarot deck for the anime had Jessica as Moon. Moon generally references illusion, deception, and hidden things, none of which really applied to Jessica. Obviously putting the real culprit on Moon would have been too on the nose and spoilery, but surely it'd work for like... mostly anyone else. EDIT: Did Yasuda die?
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Mar 4, 2018 04:48
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AmyL posted:
The event fires for literally every character in the realm. The 90% is to allow for what I'll call emergent Eva situations. PetraCore posted:EDIT: Did Yasuda die? 
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Mar 4, 2018 07:42
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Holy poo poo, slapping the craziness of Umineko and CK2 actually... works somehow? Needless to say I'll be watching this with interest.
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Mar 10, 2018 04:13
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 Holy poo poo. Were they even all in the same place?
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Mar 11, 2018 02:51
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POOL IS CLOSED posted:
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Mar 11, 2018 19:19
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PetraCore posted:Maria and Rosa and Rosa's non-canonical Ushiromiya kids were all in Ireland, iirc. Which makes it even funnier. Nah, Rosa had a matrilineal marriage, so she and her husband and her kids were all in Corsica. She just never came up in any events because she didn't have any land of her own, so she was just living with Krauss the whole time. If any character is visiting another court or in a foreign prison when the event fires they will be safe, otherwise it is assumed that all courtiers and vassals were attending an annual gathering when [Insert Favorite Theory Here] happens. I may have gotten that sort of marriage for Rosa specifically because I knew what was (probably) coming.Anyway, next update is in the final step should be coming soonish.
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Mar 11, 2018 20:21
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This is so loving good.
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Mar 11, 2018 21:59
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Ahahaha owned.
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Mar 12, 2018 03:21
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Rebuilding - 1086-1089 Jessica Ushiromiya has acceded to the seat of Duchess of Corsica. The precise events that led to this remain shrouded in mystery. All that is known for sure is the vast majority of the Ushiromiya family, as well as their various retainers and vassals, have died. This is the subject of much gossip and rumor around the courts of southern Europe, but the only survivors have refused to speak on the matter. Jessica herself has shown remarkable resilience in the face of tragedy. She often boasts how she will follow in her grandfather's footsteps and rebuild the Ushiromiya dynasty from the brink of destruction, and woe betide anyone who stands in her way.  The other survivor, Jessica's cousin and Rudolf's eldest daughter, is decidedly less ambitious. She speaks openly of her intent to drown her sorrows in material pleasures, but scorns any talk of matters of love. Such things, she claims, will only drive you to the most heinous of sin. A Brief interlude on the status of the surrounding powers:  Iberia is a mess, with Muslims pushing almost to the Pyrenees, with only the western Christian kingdoms holding their ground.  France has seen better days, with England pushing past Normandy, and a major internal revolt being put down. France also holds the bulk of southern Italy, though those lands are currently part of the revolt.  England is faring much better, though William the Conqueror may have passed he crown a bit prematurely, so who knows how long that will last.  The biggest concern for Ushiromiya ambitions is the Holy Roman Empire, which has a firm grip on all of Italy north of Rome.  Back on the home front, the first problem facing the new Duchess is that all of her father's advisors are dead.  A surprisingly competent council is scraped together from the towns and churches. Nobody to manage the troops, but it'll be a few years before even thinking of going to war.  The next issue is, with her father dead, Jessica needs someone to finish her education. Luckily Mayor Galeotto is well versed in matters of diplomacy.  Then he uses his position as the ducal tutor to make himself regent.  His first act as regent is to invest the Ushiromiya fortune into improving the ducal holdings.  Meanwhile, Margherita's new tutor is learned only in the ways of duplicity and paranoia. Hopefully this won't rub off on his ward and cause a rift between the two cousins.  Galeotto sees to it that that won't be an issue.  He then sets out to feed Jessica's ambition.  Two years later, Jessica comes to power in her own right. She managed retain everything her regent taught her about diplomacy without losing anything her father taught her about combat. Unfortunately she also took after he father in matters of finance and intrigue, but these are weakness that can be compensated for.  Jessica plans to forget her pain by rebuilding her family in more ways then one.  As the first step in following her grandfather's lead, she finds herself an attractive blond foreigner with a  The wedding is an opportunity to remind the world just how rich the Ushiromiya family is.  And then some merchant over in Pisa gets ideas.   The levies are actually fairly evenly matched, so this could be a real fight.  Margherita comes of age before the Pisan armies arrive. She is considerably less competent than her cousin, who she thinks quite highly of. The feeling, however, is not mutual.  In the first skirmish of the war, the invaders manage to outmaneuver Duchess Jessica, landing farther south than she expected. They catch unawares a small group of stragglers on their way to meet up with the main army.  It goes about as well as you'd expect.  A few days late, Jessica arrives to avenge the 63 dead Corsicans.  Jessica finds she is pregnant in the middle of the battle.  The battle is fierce, but Jessica routs the enemy as more invaders land in the north.  The Pisan invaders do not arrive in time.  And are themselves crushed in due course.  The Duchess gives birth on the battlefield. Her firstborn son is named after her beloved father.  After her first taste of real combat, Jessica finds that moderation just doesn't suit her.  The remaining invaders are run down and crushed.  With his attack repelled, the patrician invader refuses to surrender so Jessica decides to pay him a visit personally to offer terms.  But upon her arrival she finds his only holding is already occupied by a different enemy, so she turns around and heads home.  After over a year of fighting, Jessica has learned how to face her problems head on and punch them in the face.  After wiping out the invaders to the last soldier, Jessica finally manages to capture the enemy general.  This proves the be the what it finally takes to bring the Pisan to his knees.  He pays dearly for underestimating the Ushiromiya family just because 90% of them are dead.  And now Jessica has two new guests.  She takes the opportunity to experiment with passing her trauma off to others.  This is why you don't gently caress with Moon-chan.
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Mar 13, 2018 01:26
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This page is getting crowded. Give me 4 posts and I'll give you another update. Then maybe I'll see about getting a fuckin' backlog like a good LPer in case Life happens again.
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Mar 27, 2018 21:37
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Guess it is time for a second page. I wonder how long moon-chan can keep this up.
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Mar 27, 2018 21:48
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Who left all these small bombs everywhere?
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Mar 27, 2018 21:59
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| # ? Jun 8, 2024 08:47 |
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OH DESIRE (for a new page.)
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Mar 27, 2018 22:17
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