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Codependent Poster
Oct 20, 2003

Summerslam is tonight! Yes, that's right! You probably forgot, because it sure seems like WWE did. Coming off a solid NXT Takeover XXX that was hampered by a confusing title change in the main event, Summerslam is poised to make you wonder why 75 year-old Vince McMahon is still making all the decisions.

Tonight's card:

WWE Raw Tag Team Championship match: The Street Profits (Angelo Dawkins and Montez Ford) (c) vs. Andrade and Angel Garza (with Zelina Vega)

WWE United States Championship match: Apollo Crews (c) vs. MVP

Dominik Mysterio (with Rey Mysterio) vs. Seth Rollins (with Murphy) (Street Fight)

Sonya Deville vs. Mandy Rose (No DQ loser leaves WWE match)

WWE Raw Womens Championship match: Sasha Banks (c) (with Bayley) vs. Asuka

WWE SmackDown Womens Championship match: Bayley (c) (with Sasha Banks) vs. Asuka

WWE Universal Championship match: Braun Strowman (c). vs. The Fiend Bray Wyatt

WWE Championship match: Drew McIntyre (c) vs. Randy Orton


As usual, you can expect Bayley, Sasha, and Asuka to be the highlights of the night. Drew McIntyre vs. Randy Orton has potential, as Drew has been putting on good matches as champion and Randy Orton's work since the COVID era began has arguably been the best of his career. The Street Profits and Zelina Vega's Tag Team of Handsome Men have been fighting so long that it doesn't feel fresh, but the teams are capable of putting on an entertaining match. Also, a question you never thought you'd see asked: will Dominik Mysterio's first match be better than Pat McAfee's?

Preshow starts at 6pm eastern and the show itself starts at 7pm eastern.

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Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008

SummerSlam is later on.

Pylons
Mar 16, 2009

According to PWInsider, the main event is Bray vs. Braun.

Eat My Fuc
May 29, 2007

Pylons posted:

According to PWInsider, the main event is Bray vs. Braun.

The Universal Title is the worst major championship in the world today

Codependent Poster
Oct 20, 2003

Maybe Bray vs. Braun will end with Keith Lee coming out to beat them both up

Pylons
Mar 16, 2009

If Roman returns as the leader of Retribution I'm going to laugh forever.

Cavauro
Jan 9, 2008

Why is MVP wrestling in wwe? they have over 150 significant wrestling talents and about 100 of them are extremely high level.

PeteRoseHaircut
May 17, 2008

Thank you, Toronto!
In a corona-free universe Im there right now.

At least the card kind of stinks

Dacap
Jul 8, 2008

I've been involved in a number of cults, both as a leader and a follower.

You have more fun as a follower. But you make more money as a leader.



Cavauro posted:

Why is MVP wrestling in wwe? they have over 150 significant wrestling talents and about 100 of them are extremely high level.

It makes no sense that he was hired as Lashley's manager but ended up being the one who wrestles all the matches and holds the title. Lashley is essentially MVP's valet.

Miching Mallecho
May 24, 2010

:yeshaha:
I dont understand the fiend/Alexa/ Braun storyline...I get that Bray used an Alexa hallucination in their match but after that Im just confused at why Alexa is involved honestly.

Pylons
Mar 16, 2009

That video package sucked.

Dacap
Jul 8, 2008

I've been involved in a number of cults, both as a leader and a follower.

You have more fun as a follower. But you make more money as a leader.



Miching Mallecho posted:

I dont understand the fiend/Alexa/ Braun storyline...I get that Bray used an Alexa hallucination in their match but after that Im just confused at why Alexa is involved honestly.

They teamed together in the Facebook exclusive Mixed Match Challenge and did one of those shows where they carpool together. There was some mild hints of a romantic angle between them but nothing that actually made it far into main roster TV.

Pylons
Mar 16, 2009

This date rape allegory is uh, kinda weird.

kitten emergency
Jan 13, 2008

get meow this wack-ass crystal prison
zelina's sombra gear is pretty rad tho

Pylons
Mar 16, 2009

Booker T bringing up the hashtag again, shut the gently caress up

CarlCX
Dec 14, 2003

I was debating ending even my PPV check-ins, but now the air in my county is poisonous and we can't leave the house, so let's do this poo poo, death is certain.

WrasslorMonkey
Mar 5, 2012

This morning I had a dream that I was punching an imposter Roman Reigns in the balls over and over while other people held him down because he was in a weakened state due to his psychically linked mushroom ego pet being dead.

hyped for thunderdumb

Codependent Poster
Oct 20, 2003

Dacap posted:

They teamed together in the Facebook exclusive Mixed Match Challenge and did one of those shows where they carpool together. There was some mild hints of a romantic angle between them but nothing that actually made it far into main roster TV.

I think they did have some of it make it to TV, and they've always been friendly. So while I can see that it makes sense to bring Alexa in, they've been using her in a gross way. But apparently she has been getting some input on the angle.

Vandar
Sep 14, 2007

Isn't That Right, Chairman?



I havent watched the WWE in ages because why would I?, but Im bored and feel like suffering tonight, so lets do this. It cant be THAT bad, right?

Pylons
Mar 16, 2009

This is so loving overproduced, my god.

lamentable dustman
Apr 13, 2007

🏆🏆🏆

its like they made the thunderdome specifically to kill bitrates

Pylons
Mar 16, 2009

Everyone is just going to loving wave when they switch to hardcam and it sucks.

CarlCX
Dec 14, 2003

This is like watching a mental breakdown.

Pylons
Mar 16, 2009

Think someone is folding laundry lmao

WrasslorMonkey
Mar 5, 2012

Hard to tell how many of these screens are static pictures of people/frozen cams or just bored people

HidaO-Win
Jun 5, 2013

"And I did it, because I was a man who had exhausted reason and thus turned to magicks"

Pylons posted:

Everyone is just going to loving wave when they switch to hardcam and it sucks.

No, they will wave a few seconds after it switches to hardcam because of the delay.

Pylons
Mar 16, 2009

"They told us to applause on the thunderdome during their entrances"

kitten emergency
Jan 13, 2008

get meow this wack-ass crystal prison
how do they choose who gets to be on the hardcam

CarlCX
Dec 14, 2003

so this angle has been going on for like three months and every match is MVP losing, I guess

boxcarhobo
Jun 23, 2005

i have this on my tv while i play rdr2, for some reason

Fluffy Bunnies
Jan 10, 2009

this is loving awful and I hope they get rid of these terrible screens soon and then also go into doing loving clip shows like they should have been months ago because I'd watch wrestlers critique why x did y for them all day with regards to the 90s and poo poo.

but then I'd have to watch the 90s again.

2020 is an endless double-edged sword.

WrasslorMonkey
Mar 5, 2012

Wonder how Vince decided to put Bobby and Shelton on the same team

:thunk:

SalTheBard
Jan 26, 2005

I forgot to post my food for USPOL Thanksgiving but that's okay too!

Fallen Rib
I don't mind the "thunderdome". It's just nice to see people in the crowd.

Miching Mallecho
May 24, 2010

:yeshaha:
Thanks for spending your last few minutes with us, Renee smash cut to dancing Asuka

Fluffy Bunnies
Jan 10, 2009

I really do need dominik mysterio to end up going by dominik guerrero at some point during a heel turn with vicki as his manager but first I need him to be good.

Codependent Poster
Oct 20, 2003

Starting off with one of the good matches!

Pylons
Mar 16, 2009

Fluffy Bunnies posted:

I really do need dominik mysterio to end up going by dominik guerrero at some point during a heel turn with vicki as his manager but first I need him to be good.

Vicki is persona non grata in WWE now.

Big Queefy
Jan 27, 2013

Two things that give me life: Luka Dončić and Asukas swagger

Amp
Sep 10, 2010

:11tea::bubblewoop::agesilaus::megaman::yoshi::squawk::supaburn::iit::spooky::axe::honked::shroom::smugdog::sg::pkmnwhy::parrot::screamy::tubular::corsair::sanix::yeeclaw::hayter::flip::redflag:
summer's slam!

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Pylons
Mar 16, 2009

The loving camerawork already, jesus.

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