Jerusalem posted:

I love pro-wrestling so much, it's so loving great

quote:

AEW Dynamite comes on the air with Excalibur welcoming us alongside Tony Schiavone and Taz as we go to the entrances of our opening contest.

Jon Moxley defeated Dax Harwood

(This was Dax’s first match on Dynamite since April of last year, when he lost to Jeff Jarrett. If you expected a hard hitting back and forth that nearly went the time limit, then you were correct, as that’s what both these two delivered. I could watch these two beat the hell out of each other over and over, as the crowd were into it the whole way through. I can’t wait for this tag match between the BCC & FTR to happen, presumably at Revolution.)

Excalibur mentioned on March 29, the Blackpool Combat Club will travel to Arena Mexico to take on Mistico, Volador Jr, Blue Panther & Ultimo Guerrero in CMLL. The crowd was even for both men, who took turns flipping one another off, as well as mind games by planting smooches on each other, since it’s Valentine’s Day after all. That led to both slugging it out with punches and chops, with Harwood getting the better of that exchange. Moxley switched to kicks, leading to a bulldog choke, which Harwood escaped, only to get clotheslined to the floor. The brawl continued outside, where Moxley delivered a slingshot into the post. Back inside, Moxley went for ten corner punches, but Harwood countered into a Liger Bomb. Slow to their feet, both spilled over the top, crashing outside as things went to picture in picture.

After working ground submissions during break, when things returned, both continued throwing chops and forearms. Both connected with home run shots and collapsed at the same time, leading to the reset. Moxley raked the back while both where in the corner, but ultimately couldn’t capitalize, as Harwood stayed strong and hit the superplex. While both rolled to their knees, we got some unprotected headbutts before Harwood threw two lariats, but Moxley ducked the third, hit one of his own, which Harwood absorbed and completed his trifecta. We get a 5 minute time call from Justin Roberts as Moxley escaped a Sharpshooter into an armbar, which Harwood got a stack for one. Harwood faked a high shot, as Moxley ducked right into a piledriver for a Harwood two. Moxley bailed to the outside and got Harwood to chase after, which was a ploy to get a low blow by kicking the ropes back inside, crotching Harwood. Moxley connected on a Cutter and Curb Stomp, but only managed two. Both traded counters of signature moves before Harwood hit a brainbuster, but missed a top rope headbutt, diving right into a Rear Naked Choke from Moxley, Harwood fought, but ultimately tapped out.

Moxley refused to let go and Cash Wheeler hit the ring to beat down Moxley. Claudio Castagnoli evened the odds and dropped Wheeler with a Neutralizer as Moxley reapplied the choke on Harwood before standing tall with Castagnoli.

-Backstage Renee Paquette is with Don Callis, Konosuke Takeshita & Powerhouse Hobbs and asks what is next for the Family after recent success? Callis said they’re a victim of their own success, as no one wants to face them. Callis said they need to look within the Family to result in the best match possible, so Will Ospreay vs. Konosuke Takeshita is announced for Revolution. After the PPV, fans won’t be talking about Sting’s retirement; they’ll be talking about the Match of the Decade between two Don Callis Family members.

Wardlow defeated Barrett Brown

Wardlow has a big brace on his right knee, as Adam Cole is on commentary for this slaughter. Wardlow immediately hit the hanging knee strike out of the corner and posed before hitting a Last Ride powerbomb for the win. Cole, who never said a word, finally said it was a pleasure talking to them.

-Footage of a private jet landing earlier today, with Matthew & Nicholas Jackson arriving, still wearing their bloody suits from last week. They get into a Hummer limo before heading to the arena.

**********

Adam Copeland vs. Daniel Garcia ended in a No Contest

(I thought these two had really good chemistry with one another, as it resulted in a fun battle. As much as I’ve really enjoyed this Cope-Open, I was hoping Garcia wasn’t going to be just another casualty. I was also hoping Copeland wouldn’t be pinned here either, so in that sense, I was totally fine with the No Contest. Perhaps the post match was a way to write off Copeland for a few weeks to give Garcia the title shot, but I wouldn’t be surprised if we’re getting another three way for a title at Revolution.)

Copeland used his height and power advantage early by delivering corner strikes and an arm drag that drove Garcia down. Garcia countered an arm bar into an ankle lock and Copeland bailed to the ropes. After a forearm exchange, Copeland dodged a drop down by Garcia into a splash, but when trying the sequence again, Garcia had it scouted to gain control. Garcia tried a cross body out of the corner, but Copeland caught him into a shoulder breaker, which was the body part Copeland worked over during commercial.

Copeland really heeled it up during break, mocking a fan ringside, snapping his sunglasses in the process. Copeland was cut off in the ropes, but fell back to the floor, hanging up Garcia by the injured arm. Once again, Copeland took too long to capitalize, got crotched in the corner and Garcia hit a Dragon Screw off the second rope. Garcia turned into a house of fire with strikes and running boot in the corner, but Copeland fought out of a Saito Suplex. Garcia connected on another Dragon Screw, as both tried submissions attempts until Garcia sank in a STF.

This time Copeland cut off Garcia in the corner and delivered an Avalanche Impaler, dropping Garcia on the injured arm. Copeland charged for a Spear, but Garcia got a punt kick into a jackknife pin attempt for two. Right as Copeland locked in the Grind House, Nick Wayne & Killswitch hit the ring for the beat down and No Contest. Christian Cage sauntered to ringside and got a couple chairs from under the ring, which Matt Menard, who was on commentary, put a stop to, only to be decked by Killswitch. The Patriarchy went to deliver a Con-Chair-To to Garcia, but Copeland returned and cleaned house with a chair of his own. As Cage cowered in the corner, Shayna Wayne appeared and delivered a low blow on Copeland, as Nick delivered Wayne’s World and Killswitch hit the Extinction lariat. Cage then delivered a Con-Chair-To to Copeland before holding up the TNT Title with his boot on his former friend. Cage and crew left smiling, as Garcia stared down the TNT Champion.

**********

-Excalibur told us during break, Adam Copeland was helped to the back by doctors and Daniel Garcia and he’s being evaluated backstage.

Samoa Joe, Hangman Adam Page & Swerve Strickland Face Off

Joe came to the ring first to a loud ovation from the crowd, as he stands proudly their AEW World Champion. Joe said the ranking system was to ensure only the best victims would allow him to continue his title reign. Things were going so well until the time limit draw last week. Joe said booking took a page out of the Texas playbook and made his main event bigger and dumber. A crime against Joe has been committed, so there must be repercussions, as Page & Strickland may walk into Revolution, but they’ll limp out. Joe is the AEW World Champion and there’s nothing anyone can do about it.

Swerve Strickland came to the ring with Prince Nana dancing by his side and said the more Joe runs his mouth, the more personal it becomes. Strickland said Joe said hunger defines the greats and Strickland is on his way to becoming the greatest of all time. Strickland told Joe to check his resume and put respect on it. Strickland said folks said maybe one day he’ll go down as one of the greats, maybe, but he’s ready to make that a reality. At Revolution, the fans will continue to chant Whose House, but he’ll also be leaving as AEW World Champion.

Hangman Adam Page stormed out from the back to boos and said last week, he wasn’t mad and when you read the weekly Dynamite report, everyone knows last week was horse sh*t. Page said the winner of the match last week became number one contender, which is something Strickland didn’t do. Page told Joe if it were up to him, the match would be between two men who value the AEW World Title. Page told Strickland after everything he’s done to Page, he doesn’t deserve a second of his time. Strickland didn’t deserve 5 more minutes last week because he couldn’t get the job done and Strickland doesn’t deserve to be in the World Title match. Joe interrupted and said both believe they’re pinning each other, but he’s Samoa Joe and he’s whipping both of their asses before leaving the ring. The crowd were loudly behind Joe for the go home line.

Timeless Toni Storm Presents: Wet Ink

Storm talks about her tattoo, which reminds her of a girl she befriended because she felt sorry for her. Storm said Deonna Purrazzo was her young girl, who she helped get into Japan and Purrazzo was nurtured on her bosom of brilliance and suckled on the teat of talent. Storm said Purrazzo bit the tit that fed her, as somewhere along the way, Purrazzo forgot she was just an extra. Storm asked what do you do when you can’t change the past, you kill it. This all took place at a tattoo parlor, as Storm had her matching bird tattoo she shared with Purrazzo changed to a dagger going through it.

Renee Paquette was backstage with Deonna Purrazzo and asked her thoughts on what they just witnessed. Purrazzo said Storm talks too much and simply said she’s going to break her arm and called Storm a bitch.

The Young Bucks (Matthew & Nicholas Jackson) defeated Top Flight (Dante & Darius Martin)

(I should point out that The Bucks have matching soul patches to go with their suits and they look absolutely ridiculous, so mission accomplished in that regard. The match itself was solid, but the high flying was kept primarily to Top Flight, as The Bucks were more about working their EVP heel characters. The tag match we all thought would happen at Revolution was made official in the post match.)

Nicholas is wrestling with his Kangol hat on, which lasted a few seconds before Dante got the upper hand, the hat went flying and a frustrated Nichols regrouped. Back inside, a cazadora arm drag from Dante led to Matthew trying to calm his brother down and offering a fist bump to Dante, who just decked him. Quick tags from Dante & Darius, who wanted dueling dives, but Matthew & Nicholas bailed before it could happen. Matthew & Nicholas gained the upper hand briefly on the floor, but Dante & Darius fought back, hitting double slingshot dives. Back inside, Nicholas & Matthew once again gained the advantage and this time, stayed in control during picture in picture.

Darius finally fought free with a step up corner guillotine kick on Matthew, as Dante made the hot tag and ran wild, catching Matthew with a huge cross body for two. Stereo sunset flips by The Martins on The Jacksons got dueling two counts until Matthew faked a superkick and hit Dante with a DDT before telling the camera that these guys are good. Dante again fought back and hit an assisted DDT from his brother for two on Matthew. Dante took out Nicholas with a Tope, while Darius hit a Spanish Fly on Matthew. Nicholas managed to take out Dante on the floor, as Matthew tried a feet on the ropes pin, which Rick Knox caught. Nicholas argued, allowing Matthew to hit a pop up punt kick low and the EVP Trigger to get the win.

Post match, Tony Schiavone came into the ring to conduct an interview, as Matthew said they’re undefeated this year and said that makes them the top unbeatable tag team in AEW. Matthew mockingly put over how great Top Flight were and said they’re the number 1 contenders now, even getting their own graphic. Schiavone said Sting is not there due to their heinous act, as Matthew cut him off and said that’s a breach of contract, publicly disparaging the EVPs. Nicholas said it’s a $1,000 fine and asked if Schiavone has a problem with that before shoving him down. Matthew calmed his brother down and went to help Schiavone up, teasing an EVP Trigger before Darby Allin sprinted to the ring with a baseball bat.

Allin reminded The Bucks what the original Mission Statement of AEW was, that’s to Change the World. Allin said he once begged The Bucks to get hired, but they saw nothing in him, instead hiring their sh*t California crew friends. Allin said thank God there was an EVP around with a sense of brains and he’s not talking about Kenny Omega, which got a Cody chant. Allin said The Bucks did an interview last year saying they re-signed to AEW due to the easier schedule, which in turn makes their original Mission Statement dead. The debut episode of AEW didn’t have Darby Allin, instead it had guys like Brandon Cutler. Allin said The Bucks don’t know what they’re getting themselves into, as Sting has nothing left to lose, as come Revolution, it’s showtime.

**********

-Renee Paquette is backstage in the Bang Bang Scissor Gang Lounge with the Bullet Club Gold & The Acclaimed. Switchblade Jay White said they have new merch, gold, but have yet to test out their cohesiveness as a group. Daddy rear end & Austin Gunn took turns interrupting each other suggesting a 12 Man Tag on Rampage. Everyone did their signature lines until Taz called them all very annoying people.

Willow Nightingale defeated Skye Blue

(I’ve enjoyed the story of Hathaway being forced to accept Nightingale as a friend on his quest to woo Kris Statlander as a client. He saw a chance to help Nightingale when she was in trouble tonight and took it.)

Stokely Hathaway joined commentary for this one and argued about shirt colors with Taz before the match began. Nightingale cartwheeled out of an Irish Whip and hit a scoop slam for a quick two. Blue responded with a float over into a Dragon Sleeper, which Nightingale easily escaped, unloading corner shots before Blue bailed outside. Nightingale chased after and connected a Pounce back inside.

Back from break, both ladies slugged it out until Blue hit a thrust kick and Nightingale answered with a series of clotheslines. Nightingale connected on a corner hip attack and big boot before delivering a nice spinebuster for two. Blue avoided a Doctor Bomb and hit a DDT for a near fall. Blue sank in the Dragon Sleeper once more, but Nightingale backed her into the corner and onto the apron. Blue missed a kick and was launched with another Pounce, as back inside, Nightingale went up the ropes, but Blue slid through and hit a Cheeky Nandos kick and corner powerbomb for two. Blue hit the Code Blue for the visual pin, but Hathaway distracted ref Aubrey long enough for Nightingale to recover and hit the Doctor Bomb for the victory.

**********

Orange Cassidy defeated Matt Taven in a Texas Death Match

(I didn’t think they’d have enough time to do the amount they did, but this turned into a war. I do have a feeling when all is said and done, Trent will either turn heel, costing Cassidy the title or he’ll be the one who wins the title himself. Without taking the bullet for his friend tonight, Cassidy would’ve been in serious trouble. All these people are getting International title shots, except Beretta, so I wouldn’t be surprised if this was the case. I liked the Valentine’s Day touches they had to the weapons here, as the table bump Taven took was absolutely wild.)

This match can only be won by knockout or submission, as Taven faked Cassidy out like he was looking up the ramp for his buddies, which allowed a cheap shot to start. An enzugiri and Blue Thunder Bomb caused Cassidy to roll to the floor, but Taven stopped the ref from putting a 10 count and slammed Cassidy into the barricade. Taven tried another whip, but Cassidy hurdled the barricade and both men brawled into the crowd during picture in picture.

When things returned, Taven hit an elbow drop off the stage onto Cassidy, who was set up on a table, which didn’t break fully. Taven set the table up against the stage and hit a suplex to officially break it, but Cassidy broke the count. Taven connected on a running knee down the ramp, as Cassidy is officially busted open. Back inside, Taven spiked Cassidy with a DDT and went outside to grab another table, setting it up against the announce booth. Taking too long, Cassidy hit a Tope, but Taven responded with an enzugiri and baseball slide, as Cassidy put on the brakes in front of the table. Taven tried a massive dive, clearing the top rope, as Cassidy moved and Taven crashed through the table, almost taking out the commentary table in the process.

Commentary’s monitors were wiped out by the impact of that spot, as Taven broke the 10 count. Cassidy went under the ring and found a heart shaped box that read "To: OC, From Chuckie T XOXO". Cassidy dumped out thumbtacks and went for a superplex on Taven, who also is bleeding now, fought out and sent Cassidy crashing onto the tacks. Taven wanted a Frog Splash, but Cassidy moved and Taven landed on the tacks himself. Cassidy followed with a round the World DDT onto the tacks, as Cassidy got a chain from under the ring, but Mike Bennett showed up and smashed what I believe was a wooden heart shaped box over Cassidy.

Bennett threw a bunch of chairs into the ring as Trent Beretta came to the save with a box of roses, which contained a pipe. Beretta smacked Bennett’s chair into his face with the pipe before Taven chucked a chair at Beretta. With a chair set up, Taven hit a Bulldog Driver onto it, but Cassidy was there to hit an Orange Punch and Beach Break onto the stack of chairs and tacks. Cassidy wrapped his hand in the chain and hit the Orange Punch, as Roderick Strong ran out and tried to hit a running knee, but Beretta took the bullet, as Cassidy sent Strong packing. Taven never made the 10 count and Cassidy was declared the winner. Commentary really put over how Cassidy is lucky to have a friend like Beretta.

NAG posted:

IcePhoenix posted:

Dacap posted:

dsriggs posted:

Malcolm Excellent posted:

Hey everyone I made a meme

dsriggs posted:

bebaloorpabopalo posted:

if these trends continue...

fez_machine posted:

Elephant Ambush posted:

Vandar posted:

Hefty Leftist posted:

explosivo posted:

Eat My Fuc posted:

shout out abroham lincoln’s pic

MorningMoon posted:

reposting here because i'm too proud of this edit lol

smarxist posted:

neoaxd posted:

https://voca.ro/1e1fv1DWQmL7

Gambit from the X-Men posted:

i got my mom to cross-stitch something for my spouse's birthday. i thought you all would like it.

MassRafTer posted:

Apologize to Matt Taven

MassRafTer posted:

Apologize to Matt Taven

Shard posted:

when I see shows like this and then read that someone on twitter said some dumb poo poo about aew being bad or everyone hating it, it just reminds me that a lot of haters are just liars.

Shard posted:

when I see shows like this and then read that someone on twitter said some dumb poo poo about aew being bad or everyone hating it, it just reminds me that a lot of haters are just liars.

graph posted:

this mf said discussin

Erin M. Fiasco posted:

With one line Samoa Joe reminded everyone that he can easily retain at Revolution and that it would kick rear end if he did. That's my champ

UnleashedDad posted:

I was dead wrong about Joe as champ. I thought him being jobbed out multiple times into the lead up was nonsensical but it doesn’t really matter. He can easily sell himself as a monster no matter what. Proud to call him my champ.

Shard posted:

When MJF said poo poo like Jay White wasn't on his level it made me hate him. When Joe says he's gonna beat up his opponents it made me love him. I don't know what this means other than JOE JOE JOE JOE JOE

UnleashedDad posted:

Ugh fine

xbilkis posted:

When they were showing old pics of Toni and Deonna during that segment, I got distracted for a second because I couldn't believe that the person who's been doing Timeless Toni Storm used to have a gimmick of "Wears a backwards hat and vaguely likes 80s rock"



How far we've come

Alaois posted:

she used to wear tiny hats

The Notorious ZSB posted:

Fine af show. Great to be elite.

Hangman and swerve might get their asses beat. Young bucks are so good at being pieces of poo poo.

DogsInSpace! posted:

So I heard Hangman is mad. Can anyone confirm?

DogsInSpace! posted:

So I heard Hangman is mad. Can anyone confirm?

Shard posted:

when I see shows like this and then read that someone on twitter said some dumb poo poo about aew being bad or everyone hating it, it just reminds me that a lot of haters are just liars.

Barry Bluejeans posted:

well let's hear from the man himself
h
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72obxLuco68&t=433s

seems pretty cut and dry to me

Shard posted:

*rushes into the thread* Man I just watched Dynamite last week and boy howdy was Hangman mad AF that he couldn't beat Swerve and he still gets a title shot!