NHL Toxxes 13-14: Put Your Trust in Scott Gomez

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > NHL Toxxes 13-14: Put Your Trust in Scott Gomez

Mike_V: Jul 31, 2004; 3/18/2023: Day of the Dorks

fits use this image as your av:

If anyone has good text, feel free to offer it up.

My suggestion is "gently caress you, rear end in a top hat" or something from Terminator.

# ? May 1, 2014 17:56

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# ? Jun 11, 2024 02:58

Jamwad Hilder: Apr 18, 2007; surfin usa

Piss cloud.

# ? May 1, 2014 18:48

LumpyGumby: Feb 22, 2012; "Here's the world famous hockey player sitting in the penalty box for slashing..."
-Snoopy Brown
42g - 65a - 107pts
106gp - 317PIMS

LumpyGumby posted:

I predict the Avs will finish higher than the Calgary Flames. If they do not, I will take every point the Flames beat the Avs, multiply it by 10, and donate the amount to a charity of the collective SAS hive mind's choice, with a cap of 200 bucks (Hey, I'm kind of broke as it is). If the Avs finish ahead of the Flames, I will donate the amount of points they are from the last team in the west, times ten, to the charity, again, a 200 cap.

If that's complicated, here's an example;

*snip*

Bottom of the west: 55 pts
Avalanche: 70 pts
Difference of 15 points, times ten, 150 dollars donated.

Hshahaaaaaaa....I hit the cap twice over.

fulfilled.

Edit; if something is too small or big, sorry, I'm doing this all on my phone and its not the easiest thing in the world, but I can email proof of everything if so desired.

LumpyGumby fucked around with this message at 23:48 on May 1, 2014

# ? May 1, 2014 23:45

fits: Jan 1, 2008; Love Always,
The Captain

Mike_V posted:

fits use this image as your av:

If anyone has good text, feel free to offer it up.

My suggestion is "gently caress you, rear end in a top hat" or something from Terminator.

Crop it down and ill get it when I'm back from vacation

# ? May 2, 2014 02:03

tofes: Mar 31, 2011; #1 Milpitas Dave and Buster's superfan since 2013

I know I said I wouldn't post again until the Sharks win a game but I need to talk to someone in SAMart so how about an avatar a penance

# ? May 2, 2014 02:24

Jamwad Hilder: Apr 18, 2007; surfin usa

Alright, here we go. Bruins-Habs requires a special toxx I think.

If the Habs win the series, I will support them throughout the rest of the playoffs. This shall be signified with a Habs avatar of HAS's choosing for the remainder of the playoffs.
If the Habs win the series in 6 games or less, I will support them throughout the playoffs and purchase a Habs jersey.
If the Habs win in 5 games or less, I will do all the above and I will embrace my French Canadian roots and try to become a Montreal fan.
If the Habs sweep the series AND win their 25th Stanley Cup, I will do all of the above and also get a Habs related tattoo within two years of this toxx taking effect.

:toxx:

# ? May 2, 2014 02:30

Stiev Awt: Mar 20, 2007

canuckanese posted:

Alright, here we go. Bruins-Habs requires a special toxx I think.

If the Habs win the series, I will support them throughout the rest of the playoffs. This shall be signified with a Habs avatar of HAS's choosing for the remainder of the playoffs.
If the Habs win the series in 6 games or less, I will support them throughout the playoffs and purchase a Habs jersey.
If the Habs win in 5 games or less, I will do all the above and I will embrace my French Canadian roots and try to become a Montreal fan.
If the Habs sweep the series AND win their 25th Stanley Cup, I will do all of the above and also get a Habs related tattoo within two years of this toxx taking effect.

Looks like neoaxd picked the perfect year to be Satan's fucktoy.

# ? May 2, 2014 20:28

Crumbletron: Jul 21, 2006; IT'S YOUR BOY JESUS, MANE

Holy moly dude :quebec:

# ? May 2, 2014 20:38

TheGoatTrick: Aug 1, 2002; Semi-aquatic personification of unstoppable douchery

Guignol posted:

SUPREME TOXX COURT IS NOW IN SESSION

The Handsome Defendant: Guignol
The Evil Prosecutor: Pleads
The Toxx:

Current standings:

Barring a miracle or a terrible plane crash, this toxx is almost certain to come true. Clearly the magic spark of Jakob Silfverberg, Cool Guy Swedeman, has ignited a fire in the Anaheim Ducks that burns brighter than the dull flame of the Alfieless Ottawa Senators. Our defendant is willing to admit that he is a dumb-dumb for taking this bet.

For months, the defendant could not find a single god drat place that sold a Ducks Silfverberg shirsey. NHL.com only carries shirts bearing the names of Getzlaf, Perry and other plugs who are neither Cool Guys nor Swedemen. How could the Ducks not promote one of their finest players? Surely the toxx would be lost! Just in time, the following photos emerged from the official Ducks store today:

A shirsey at last! Yes, the Anaheim Ducks do indeed sell a Jakob Silfverberg shirsey. It is yellow and bears a Ducks logo featuring a stylish Swedish flag pattern within its border; a bold design for a bold player.

The prosecution would have you believe that this is not a Jakob Silfverberg shirsey, despite all evidence to the contrary. It is up to you, the Supreme Toxx Court, to decide if this is true. Will this shirsey fulfill the toxx clause, or will justice crumble before our eyes? You decide.

Is it too late to follow up on this? These appeared at the team store in Anaheim today.

# ? May 6, 2014 07:29

checksin: Nov 23, 2006; I joined the new sensation, the #RXT REVOLUTION~!

he knows...

Holy hell thank GOD
Can I commission you or anyone to get me one of those? There's no way one of those is making its way to my local Sportchek.

checksin fucked around with this message at 16:39 on May 6, 2014

# ? May 6, 2014 16:36

TheGoatTrick: Aug 1, 2002; Semi-aquatic personification of unstoppable douchery

Guignol posted:

Holy hell thank GOD
Can I commission you or anyone to get me one of those? There's no way one of those is making its way to my local Sportchek.

I think they take phone orders, but if not we could work something out.

http://ducks.nhl.com/club/page.htm?id=44133

# ? May 6, 2014 17:23

HOW COULD YOU: Jun 1, 2006; The man in black fled across Middle Tennessee, and Pierre followed.

HOW COULD YOU posted:

IF THE NHL'S BOSTON BRUINS DO NOT WIN LORD STANLEY'S CUP THIS YEAR I AM BOUND TO THE FOLLOWING:

1.) I will get an avatar of the winner's team, and keep it until the bruins take revenge
2.) I will write a highschool style five paragraph essay (intro, three points, conclusion) about all the things that lead to the bruins defeat at the hands of this team

Maybe something else too, that's all I got for now.

UPPING THE ANTE

I will write a shakesperean sonnet (bastardized iambic pentameter, abab cdcd efef gg) about the team that eliminates the boston bruins (or about the bruins when they win the cup). This sonnet will be written before the regular season begins. Probably in june, but may is busy as gently caress for me so we'll see.

# ? May 9, 2014 05:00

Jamwad Hilder: Apr 18, 2007; surfin usa

canuckanese posted:

If the Habs win the series, I will support them throughout the rest of the playoffs. This shall be signified with a Habs avatar of HAS's choosing for the remainder of the playoffs.
If the Habs win the series in 6 games or less, I will support them throughout the playoffs and purchase a Habs jersey.
If the Habs win in 5 games or less, I will do all the above and I will embrace my French Canadian roots and try to become a Montreal fan.
If the Habs sweep the series AND win their 25th Stanley Cup, I will do all of the above and also get a Habs related tattoo within two years of this toxx taking effect.

# ? May 9, 2014 13:42

mentholmoose: Nov 5, 2009; YKNOW THERES ONLY ONE DIRECTION I KNOW AND THATS DRIVIN STRAIGHT TO THE NET

mentholmoose posted:

And I assume we're going to do playoff toxxes in here, so here's mine: if the Flyers don't win the Cup, I'll get an avatar of SAS choosing featuring a player from whichever team ends up eliminating the Flyers.

e: And for the hell of it, I'll keep it until the next time the Flyers beat whichever team it ends up being, in the regular season or a single playoff game.

Sorry this is kind of late, but I guess I need a Rangers avatar.

Probably this image in avatar size, but I need some text:

# ? May 9, 2014 14:31

barnold: Dec 16, 2011; what do u do when yuo're born to play fps? guess there's nothing left to do but play fps. boom headshot

a best of three decides my entire SA identity

go b's go

# ? May 9, 2014 19:57

Deus Ex Macklemore: Jul 2, 2004; Zelensky's Zealots

I hope this ammended Toxx is ok since it does more than I originally Toxxed for and is at least a little humorous. Plus that goddamn Parrot is gone.

Deus Ex Macklemore fucked around with this message at 14:01 on May 14, 2014

# ? May 14, 2014 13:58

Habibi: Dec 8, 2004; We have the capability to make San Jose's first Cup Champion.

The Sharks could be that Champion.

Should have gone with: now I'm become death, Thruster of Bagpipes.

# ? May 14, 2014 15:00

Deus Ex Macklemore: Jul 2, 2004; Zelensky's Zealots

I'm not very clever.

# ? May 14, 2014 15:02

Habibi: Dec 8, 2004; We have the capability to make San Jose's first Cup Champion.

The Sharks could be that Champion.

Rich Radbards posted:

I'm not very clever.

I'm going to interpret that as an in-character post.

# ? May 14, 2014 15:13

deafmute: Jun 24, 2003; You can't choke if you chew forever

If anyone needs an avatar this would work pretty well

# ? May 14, 2014 20:29

Veskit: Mar 2, 2005; I love capitalism!! DM me for the best investing advice!

FFStudios posted:

a best of three decides my entire SA identity

go b's go

We're almost there Studios. Almost there...

# ? May 14, 2014 22:48

barnold: Dec 16, 2011; what do u do when yuo're born to play fps? guess there's nothing left to do but play fps. boom headshot

god loving damnit

# ? May 15, 2014 02:50

ThinkTank: Oct 23, 2007

ThinkTank posted:

If the Boston Bruins advance farther than the Canucks in the playoffs this year, I will purchase an avatar commemorating their glorious victory over my team in 2011. I will keep said avatar for one month for each additional playoff win the Bruins have over the Canucks (to a maximum of 16 months). Should the Bruins win the Cup I will keep the avatar until the Canucks win a cup of their own (or until everyone decides they're sick of it).

If the Bruins win the cup and the Canucks don't make the playoffs I will change my name and avatar to something fitting the Bruins' status as the greatest hockey team of all time.

Okay so I need a Bruins AV until December. Someone suggested something about Jack Edwards and I like it.

I'll see if I can do something with this image tomorrow unless someone has any better suggestions.

# ? May 15, 2014 02:58

HOW COULD YOU: Jun 1, 2006; The man in black fled across Middle Tennessee, and Pierre followed.

Ok soooo I need a habs avatar. Pro habs, not anti bruins. Anyone have a good habs pic?

also I will supply a 5 paragraph essay and shakespearean sonnet on the series sometime this offseason

HOW COULD YOU fucked around with this message at 03:03 on May 15, 2014

# ? May 15, 2014 03:00

MononcQc: May 29, 2007

I toxxed myself in the GDT:

MononcQc posted:

If the Habs win tonight I'm buying a Cheat To Win Bracelet that I'll have to rock for remaining Habs playoffs games.

So I guess I'll have to do that.

EDIT: Ordered. $3 bracelet, $17 shipping to Quebec :suicide:

I'll be in Vancouver for a week starting Friday, so hopefully it gets delivered after I'm on the other end of the country or something.

MononcQc fucked around with this message at 03:08 on May 15, 2014

# ? May 15, 2014 03:05

Aphrodite: Jun 27, 2006

In hindsight maybe giving HAS a mantra was a bad idea.

# ? May 15, 2014 03:06

deafmute: Jun 24, 2003; You can't choke if you chew forever

HOW COULD YOU posted:

Ok soooo I need a habs avatar. Pro habs, not anti bruins. Anyone have a good habs pic?

also I will supply a 5 paragraph essay and shakespearean sonnet on the series sometime this offseason

Here ya go

# ? May 15, 2014 03:10

Aphrodite: Jun 27, 2006

Someone already has that, don't they?

# ? May 15, 2014 03:12

Hand Knit: Oct 24, 2005; Beer Loses more than a game Sunday ...
We lost our Captain, our Teammate, our Friend Kelly Calabro...
Rest in Peace my friend you will be greatly missed..

Aphrodite posted:

Someone already has that, don't they?

Rutkowski has one that's slightly different.

# ? May 15, 2014 03:14

Serisothikos: Dec 4, 2004; Unlimited Pasta Pass

Serisothikos posted:

If the Bruins win the Stanley Cup, I will donate $100 to the One Fund Boston in NHLSAS's name.

If the Bruins lose, I'll still donate $20, on the understanding that I'll need the remainder for medicinal alcohol.

Well, here's one; I even threw in an extra $5. I actually donated it on behalf of "Habs Argument Stadium" but that doesn't show up in the email.

It'll take me a couple days for the other one; I don't know that I'm up to being ~inspiring~ quite yet.

# ? May 15, 2014 03:15

HOW COULD YOU: Jun 1, 2006; The man in black fled across Middle Tennessee, and Pierre followed.

damnit i really like that one

# ? May 15, 2014 03:15

neoaxd: Nov 13, 2004

somebody get this

A winning smile and a good attitudaaaAAAAREHEFHFH DEHUMANIZE YOURSELF AND FACE TO BLOODSHED

# ? May 15, 2014 03:16

barnold: Dec 16, 2011; what do u do when yuo're born to play fps? guess there's nothing left to do but play fps. boom headshot

Veskit posted:

We're almost there Studios. Almost there...

lock and load

# ? May 15, 2014 03:17

HOW COULD YOU: Jun 1, 2006; The man in black fled across Middle Tennessee, and Pierre followed.

how bout this for me:

# ? May 15, 2014 03:18

Hand Knit: Oct 24, 2005; Beer Loses more than a game Sunday ...
We lost our Captain, our Teammate, our Friend Kelly Calabro...
Rest in Peace my friend you will be greatly missed..

HOW COULD YOU posted:

damnit i really like that one

It's still good and different. With the right text, it could be great. Besides, there's nothing wrong with more PK avatars.

# ? May 15, 2014 03:18

Veskit: Mar 2, 2005; I love capitalism!! DM me for the best investing advice!

FFStudios posted:

lock and load

I have the name, I have the caption, but the avatar itself is going to take a little bit of work. I think it's been hinted around what I have for you

# ? May 15, 2014 03:19

Duke Chin: Jan 11, 2002; _{^{Roger That:}}
MILK CRATES INBOUND

_{_{^{- FUCK THE HABS -}}}

How do I search a thread? There's been a billion posts since the last time I was in here and I don't remember what stupid poo poo I said I was going to do...? Tried "search the forums" up there but I can't see to get ANY results.

# ? May 15, 2014 03:19

HOW COULD YOU: Jun 1, 2006; The man in black fled across Middle Tennessee, and Pierre followed.

Duke Chin posted:

How do I search a thread? There's been a billion posts since the last time I was in here and I don't remember what stupid poo poo I said I was going to do...? Tried "search the forums" up there but I can't see to get ANY results.

click the ? under your name boss

# ? May 15, 2014 03:20

Laderhan: Oct 2, 2013

Duke Chin posted:

How do I search a thread? There's been a billion posts since the last time I was in here and I don't remember what stupid poo poo I said I was going to do...? Tried "search the forums" up there but I can't see to get ANY results.

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3565452&userid=26826

# ? May 15, 2014 03:20

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# ? Jun 11, 2024 02:58

deafmute: Jun 24, 2003; You can't choke if you chew forever

HOW COULD YOU posted:

how bout this for me:

It works, just gotta think of some good text about lying/cheating/stealing...

Duke Chin posted:

How do I search a thread? There's been a billion posts since the last time I was in here and I don't remember what stupid poo poo I said I was going to do...? Tried "search the forums" up there but I can't see to get ANY results.

Click on the ? below your avatar and it'll show you all your posts in the thread

Duke Chin posted:

If the Bruins win the Lord Stanley's Cup in 2014 I will record and upload, to Youtube, a Bruins-inspired drum solo of indeterminate length.

If they lose: I'll break my goddamn drumsticks in half. Possibly light them on fire as well. While wearing that infernal Tim Thomas jersey I still have.

# ? May 15, 2014 03:21

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > NHL Toxxes 13-14: Put Your Trust in Scott Gomez

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