Dick Trauma posted:

Let he who is without sin finger the first corpse.

Grassy Knowles posted:

I agree; why did we ever allow signage advertising and gimmicky inefficient architecture.

Frank Frank posted:

Please don’t anger Mr. Pizza Hut

Human Tornada posted:

Retro stuff has to go through a period of being old and uncool before it swings back around to being in style.

Human Tornada posted:

Retro stuff has to go through a period of being old and uncool before it swings back around to being in style. If that first McDonald's had been the one in your town in the 90s it would have been known as the really outdated McDonalds that needs an update.

Milo and POTUS posted:

Hate to agree with him but I'm tired of the grey box aesthetic.

Human Tornada posted:

Retro stuff has to go through a period of being old and uncool before it swings back around to being in style. If that first McDonald's had been the one in your town in the 90s it would have been known as the really outdated McDonalds that needs an update.

DontMockMySmock posted:

so am I the only one who likes the grey box? the old af design with the giant arches is so aggressively wacky in a way that i find incredibly obnoxious.

Freaquency posted:

In the unending homogenized sprawl that is American suburbia I don’t think it really matters one way or the other tbh

Lobok posted:

Those accounts also don't actually care about McDonald's architecture. There's just something about the time period before second wave feminism and the Civil Rights Act that these guys love so much and want to go back to.

Arsenic Lupin posted:

https://twitter.com/TheSFReader/status/1640030237059588097

That70sHeidi posted:

https://twitter.com/maeisafraid/status/1640763722887987200

sebmojo posted:

don't want to get a GIPPAA violation

selan dyin posted:

Facebook Aunt posted:

https://twitter.com/KarloTakki/status/1640770658958188555

bobjr posted:

https://twitter.com/danksilenthill/status/1641105189750071303?s=46&t=CBKJcBX0BD3U5HgUdsqBtw

quote:

So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the ocean sunfish so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, I'm posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.]

Disclaimer, I care about marine life more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And it's not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously loving hate them.

THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH)

They are the world's largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant loving dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE.

They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT loving GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesn't put them where they need to loving go.

So they don't have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn't just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it'll loving sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, poo poo outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one loving knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it's basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons.

"If they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators." No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Byron sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job.

They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it's so stupidly loving big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) "Oh no! What could have happened! How could this be!" Do not let that expression fool you, they just don't have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all gently caress.

They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the gently caress out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them.

"Wow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that God has abandoned us." Yes, thank you. "But if they're so bad at literally everything, why haven't they gone extinct." Great question.

BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY loving EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT IT'S DOING MAYBE THE WORST loving JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that'll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY.

And this concludes why I hate the gently caress out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it.

Platystemon posted:

mola mola anger