Good reasons to use when trying to borrow can openers

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alnilam

TVsVeryOwn posted:

I bought a book of Kant Openers to try pick up philosophy majors.

Hume ust be kidding me

# ? Feb 6, 2018 01:20

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# ? Jun 10, 2024 00:50

alnilam

need a can opener to trade for a bucket to trade someone else for a chair to trade someone else for some magic beans (I'll share one of the beans)

# ? Mar 7, 2018 15:54

Jedrick: There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high-powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
Smoke weed every day.

Hey, I don't actually need to open any cans, I just want to flip them around like nunchucks while contemplating their potential killing power.

# ? Mar 8, 2018 22:08

ThatBasqueGuy: someone introduce jojo to lazyb

I broke my last pair by using them upside down, but I swear I've learned my lesson!

# ? Mar 8, 2018 22:19

Manifisto

someone I know is desperately in need of some whoop rear end, however my primary whoop rear end reserves are depleted. I would dearly love to dip into my auxiliary supply but I am having problems accessing it and could really use your assistance

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Mar 9, 2018 02:25

Jedrick: There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high-powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.
Smoke weed every day.

Manifisto posted:

someone I know is desperately in need of some whoop rear end, however my primary whoop rear end reserves are depleted. I would dearly love to dip into my auxiliary supply but I am having problems accessing it and could really use your assistance

lol

# ? Mar 9, 2018 02:31

joke_explainer

TVsVeryOwn posted:

Circumcision

You're going to make Shaq throw out all of his can openers.

# ? Mar 9, 2018 05:28

LawfulWaffle: Well, that aligns with the vibes I was getting. Which was, like, "normal" kinda vibes.

I'm a bit of a Can't Opener right now and was wondering if you could help fix that.

# ? Mar 9, 2018 15:05

Twenty Four

LawfulWaffle posted:

I'm a bit of a Can't Opener right now and was wondering if you could help fix that.

# ? Mar 9, 2018 16:36

Coolguye: Required by his programming!

"this is a computer simulation set up by a psychotic supercomputer, i haven't eaten in literal years and he gave me this can with no can opener to taunt me please please please he--" *turns into a formless yellow slug with blind pools for eyes*

# ? Mar 9, 2018 18:15

Manifisto

Coolguye posted:

"this is a computer simulation set up by a psychotic supercomputer, i haven't eaten in literal years and he gave me this can with no can opener to taunt me please please please he--" *turns into a formless yellow slug with blind pools for eyes*

I have no can opener, and I must open a can

# ? Mar 9, 2018 18:49

cda: by Hand Knit

Please don't give me a can opener. You have no idea what might happen if you do. Better to continue with your boring, predictable life than take the risk of giving me a can opener.

# ? Mar 9, 2018 20:47