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/r/childfree seems to mostly be some kind of reaction to having a niece of nephew
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Jun 17, 2021 07:58
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Funky See Funky Do posted:Oh god are you kidding that would be so sad. What the gently caress is a harry potter costume besides a school uniform and a scarf?  it was the classic sexy dumbledore
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Jun 17, 2021 08:18
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i have a hard time believing someone who isn't beholden to another human for 18 years isn't unhappy about it
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Jun 17, 2021 08:30
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People who don't want children can be happy. People who identify as "child free" cannot. Though it's the wrong question to ask. It's probably a bad idea to get a child because you think it will make you happy, rather than because you want a child.
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Jun 17, 2021 08:43
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You know who strikes me as happy? People who DON'T flip out about other people's Mulberry trees on internet forums.
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Jun 17, 2021 08:45
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being a dad owns, but being a parent sucks
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Jun 17, 2021 08:51
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Caesar Saladin posted:Three Olives is one of the best trolls out there, possibly the best one i can think of This. Parenting is the lowest of low-hanging fruit when it comes to trolling but still people take the bait.
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Jun 17, 2021 08:54
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I have no intention to have kids, but I dated a hardcore "childfree" chick briefly and it was the most obnoxious poo poo ever. Anytime a subject even neared anything relating to children she would go off on about how she wanted to hurt and kill them and wished it was legal. Silicon Valley is a hosed up place.
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Jun 17, 2021 08:54
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Vim Fuego posted:
lmao thank you. figured that would be a good laugh and it was! kid probably had a nice costume that actually made sense for a kid to wear, shame some dumbass adult ruined his day but i choose to believe his supportive parents helped him cope with that 
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Jun 17, 2021 08:57
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When I had my first kid, parenting was this new, exciting and fascinating experience. When the second kid came, it became considerable less exciting and became far more frustrating. With the third it's not different really, it's just logistically more complicated. I was never a very happy person though, so I can imagine I would be even less happy now if I didn't have children, while most of my peers already do. But being a parent to 3 children aged 4, 2 and 0 is certainly not a recipe for happiness. If me and my wife didn't live close to my family who help us out a lot, it would be a loving nightmare. I'm expecting it to get better when the kids get older though if we're not stupid enough to produce more of them in the meantime.
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Jun 17, 2021 09:01
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It's always a great idea to base your whole personality and sense of community around hating some other group of people
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Jun 17, 2021 09:01
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Mooey Cow posted:It's always a great idea to base your whole personality and sense of community around hating some other group of people and that's why italians can bite my bird
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Jun 17, 2021 09:02
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I just had to drop 250 bucks because my son wanted to go to a lineman camp and I could have spent that money on myself. Then I realize I’m spending another 250 on church camp like a week later. I hate my son.
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Jun 17, 2021 09:52
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Weka posted:Using redditors as any kind of representative sample is cheating. Yeah like, why not adoption? Then we can get into the uncomfortable zone of why your children have to be genetically related to you in order to count.
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Jun 17, 2021 09:57
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How is the fact that voluntarily childless people are as happy as parents still news? That baffles me. edit: Also, being a heterosexual woman in my mid-30s who doesn't want children but does want to date & get married is a loving nightmare, because having to weed out all the "childfree" guys is grueling and not wanting children is not the only standard that I have. YeahTubaMike fucked around with this message at 10:03 on Jun 17, 2021 |
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Jun 17, 2021 10:00
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If you don't have a first born who are you going to sell to the dark lord for cool poo poo? Your own soul? Not likely. Really this study isn't valid as they should be comparing has kids Vs no kids Vs had kids but sold to Satan.
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Jun 17, 2021 10:06
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YeahTubaMike posted:edit: Also, being a heterosexual woman in my mid-30s who doesn't want children but does want to date & get married is a loving nightmare, because having to weed out all the "childfree" guys is grueling and not wanting children is not the only standard that I have. Oof, too close to home. Hetero male in his early-40s, and it’s insane just how a person in the dating game can turn sour over the mere mention of wanting/not wanting children. There’s so much more to me than my decision to not have kids  It’s like that old Disney Goofy cartoon, Mr. Walker and Mr. Wheeler, only Mr. Wheeler is a misogynist rear end in a top hat who most definitely calls children “crotch droppings” and couples with children “breeders” like OP, 3O.
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Jun 17, 2021 10:29
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YeahTubaMike posted:How is the fact that voluntarily childless people are as happy as parents still news? That baffles me. If the other side knows that they want kids it's kind of a deal breaker (for them too presumably) as far as marriage goes. It really limits your options if you want to be honest about it. Algol Star posted:Really this study isn't valid as they should be comparing has kids Vs no kids Vs had kids but sold to Satan. Next they should do "No kids" vs. "Got kids" vs. "Had kid(s) but gave to adoption".
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Jun 17, 2021 10:34
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You Are A Elf posted:There’s so much more to me than my decision to not have kids Same here! But it's a dealbreaker for the right kind of person though. Going along with someone else's decision to have/not have children rather than find someone whose life goals are in line with yours, even if you are compatible with them otherwise & love them seems like a great way to end up having a sad, regretful life. People have asked me what I would do if I met my dream man but he wanted children, and I always say that he's not my dream man then.  Sad but true.e:f;b itry posted:If the other side knows that they want kids it's kind of a deal breaker (for them too presumably) as far as marriage goes. It really limits your options if you want to be honest about it. YeahTubaMike fucked around with this message at 10:39 on Jun 17, 2021 |
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Jun 17, 2021 10:37
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Drunk Nerds posted:I'm definitely not happier than if I didn't have kids... but that's not the point. I could sit on my rear end and just drink beer and play videogames until I died and hit my maximum happiness level, but I want more than that. I need to feel like I did something for this world. Raising kids who lead charity drives and seek out and welcome new kids so they have friends fulfills my need. So it's about your needs.
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Jun 17, 2021 11:03
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I don't want children because I don't need to feel like i did something for this world to be destroyed faster
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Jun 17, 2021 11:22
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The Bloop posted:Imagine three olives at the edge of a cliff it was easier before this research came out
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Jun 17, 2021 11:23
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I don't know if my wife and I are going to have kids, but kids are cool. For now, being an uncle is perfect for me. I get to hang out with my nephew, do fun stuff for a bit, then send him home to his parents and leave an unattended glass of alcohol on my coffee table while I watch an R-rated movie. Best of both worlds.
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Jun 17, 2021 11:24
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Also there is a big difference between having 1 kid and having > 1. Basically with one kid you're in the poo poo for a couple of years and then life gets somewhat easier. But with multiple kids, you are hosed for a decade or more. As a one-kid-haver, I can testify to the weird external pressure to have additional kids which is almost as intense as the pressure to have a kid in the first place.
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Jun 17, 2021 11:35
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I can only be happy in the context of someone else's diminished happiness. It's a livin'! Here are the hard truths, idiots: 1) Kids are pretty cool because they know that having fun is priority number 1. 2) Kids are a huge pain in the rear end and I ain't dealing with all that.
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Jun 17, 2021 11:46
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Today I learned about "childfree" people online. Thanks, Internet!
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Jun 17, 2021 12:06
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I've seen studies like this before and, oh boy, did my family members get upset when I mentioned it. I'm the only member of my immediate or extended family that I can think of that hasn't had children. When the subject comes up and I point out studies showing that people without kids are often happier with their lives, they get extraordinarily defensive and offended. Like... I didn't materialize those results, guys. I'm just relaying that info from others who studied it. Calm thyself. You bring up the fact that I don't have kids and I'm going to have to point out factual information about that. Not my fault.
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Jun 17, 2021 12:14
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I'm glad I don't have kids cause I'd suck at it
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Jun 17, 2021 12:22
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I thought the study showed that people without are as happy as people with kids. Which... why would that be surprising at all? I'd like to see a study where they take identical samples from two parallel realities where on one the people decided to have kids, and in the other the same people didn't. Now that will be scientific.
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Jun 17, 2021 12:24
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Children break all my poo poo
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Jun 17, 2021 12:35
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Ghost Leviathan posted:I'm glad I don't have kids cause I'd suck at it I became a defacto step-father for an ex-fiance's daughter for a while. I loved her, she loved me, I did my best, but I was bad at it. During the breakup with that ex, she told me she thinks I could be a decent father but not a decent step-father. That stuck with me hardcore, afterward. Major imposter syndrome and feelings of severe failure. I met that person when she was 2 1/2 years old. Next year, she'll have her driver's license. Time friggin flies, dude.
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Jun 17, 2021 12:39
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Oyak posted:Also there is a big difference between having 1 kid and having > 1. Basically with one kid you're in the poo poo for a couple of years and then life gets somewhat easier. But with multiple kids, you are hosed for a decade or more. There are also a lot of people who think that only children NEED siblings so that they can have friends to grow up with, as if 1) siblings are always friends, and 2) only children are somehow completely incapable of making friends outside of the home. From personal experience, I can say that cousins, neighbors, and classmates (and now coworkers) are plenty.  The Hambulance posted:Today I learned about "childfree" people online. Speaking of which... I don't think this is true for cis guys -- correct me if I'm wrong -- but cis girls are asked about motherhood super early in life, to the point that I literally don't remember the first time I said I didn't want to have children (according to my mom, I was 7). As a result, as a teenager, I developed a super bitter attitude toward the extremely pervasive idea that I & all little girls should look forward to being a mom. When I was 15-16, I became overjoyed that not only was there a huge internet community "just like me!  " who didn't want children & were outspoken about it, but that there was a NAME for "us" -- childfree! I was super stoked to be "childfree" for abooooouuuuuutttttt 45 seconds, and when I delved deeper into one of the myriad forums out there, my experience was basically I am so very glad that I didn't encounter "childfree" internet people when I was in my more impressionable preteen years or else I might have turned out to be a complete lunatic too, ranting & raving about "mombies" and "crotchspawn" and whatever else. Catastrophe posted:I've seen studies like this before and, oh boy, did my family members get upset when I mentioned it. I'm the only member of my immediate or extended family that I can think of that hasn't had children. When the subject comes up and I point out studies showing that people without kids are often happier with their lives, they get extraordinarily defensive and offended. itry posted:I thought the study showed that people without are as happy as people with kids. Which... why would that be surprising at all? Some of it (I think -- this is what I've heard anyway, from people who have children) is that people who gave in to pressure to have children and/or who grew up thinking that having children was the only way to enter true adulthood, rather than fully wanting them & being excited to have them, are resentful toward people who were freer to choose not to. A lot of people seem to either see or WANT to see voluntarily childless adults as immature ("you'll want kids when you're older, just you wait  "), and/or sad, lonely, and regretful, and when we actually feel good about our decision, it fucks with them.edit: quote:I'd like to see a study where they take identical samples from two parallel realities where on one the people decided to have kids, and in the other the same people didn't. Now that will be scientific. I wish so much that this were possible, especially back when having children was even more of an expectation. edit2: sorry for the long rear end post, this is just something that I've thought about a lot YeahTubaMike fucked around with this message at 12:56 on Jun 17, 2021 |
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Jun 17, 2021 12:53
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The Hambulance posted:Today I learned about "childfree" people online. There are also "dogfree" and "catfree" communities. They are even worse imo
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Jun 17, 2021 12:57
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Dogs can be annoying to live around if you can't handle noise. Also kids/babies. Edit: YeahTubaMike posted:Speaking of which... I don't think this is true for cis guys -- correct me if I'm wrong -- but cis girls are asked about motherhood super early in life, to the point that I literally don't remember the first time I said I didn't want to have children (according to my mom, I was 7). As a result, as a teenager, I developed a super bitter attitude toward the extremely pervasive idea that I & all little girls should look forward to being a mom. When I was 15-16, I became overjoyed that not only was there a huge internet community "just like me! Understandable reaction after years of being told to smile with your uterus. Who the heck even asks a 7 y/o if they want kids. itry fucked around with this message at 13:11 on Jun 17, 2021 |
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Jun 17, 2021 13:03
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The happiest people are the ones with 10 or more children
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Jun 17, 2021 13:11
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I don't wanna have kids because serious chronic depression runs in my family and I don't want to pass it on. If I ever get married I'm 100% down to adopt though
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Jun 17, 2021 13:28
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We are all gods children and he is a miserable fucker
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Jun 17, 2021 13:31
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Colonel Cancer posted:The happiest people are the ones with 10 or more children aka the "you're not trying hard enough" approach
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Jun 17, 2021 13:33
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there's more than enough humans on the planet (and given global warming etc.) that choosing to have children is a selfish decision so unless you just can't live without a kid for some reason the only justifiable choice is to not have any. it certainly shouldn't be the default anymore no, i do not bring this up to people i know in real life who have kids
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Jun 17, 2021 13:36
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YeahTubaMike posted:Speaking of which... I don't think this is true for cis guys -- correct me if I'm wrong -- but cis girls are asked about motherhood super early in life, to the point that I literally don't remember the first time I said I didn't want to have children (according to my mom, I was 7). As a result, as a teenager, I developed a super bitter attitude toward the extremely pervasive idea that I & all little girls should look forward to being a mom. We do get asked about fatherhood by extended relatives and family friends and such, but I couldn’t even imagine how much a woman is pressured into having kids from early on in life. It began after high school for me since I was now old enough to “get married, have kids, buy a house with a white picket fence, and live happily ever after.” No “find a soulmate and live a happy fulfilling life with them” or “live your single life to the fullest,” just a “get married, have kids…” Boomer mentality. Luckily, my parents never pressured me into having kids and supported my decision not to. I have two nephews from my sisters, we get along great, and that’s good enough for me r u ready to WALK posted:There are also "dogfree" and "catfree" communities. Ahhh, so I probably met a “catfree” person when my cat passed away five years ago, and I returned to work the day after it happened. A coworker asked why I looked so down, and I told them my cat had passed away. Their response? “Oh, I haaate cats! Absolutely hate them! I’m a dog person ”Like…what in the poo poo. Who thinks that’s a reasonable response to someone grieving over the loss of their beloved pet? A complete “catfree” rear end in a top hat, that’s who.
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Jun 17, 2021 13:36
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