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Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe
big lonley tibbies

:69snypa:

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PokeJoe
Aug 24, 2004

hail cgatan


Where??

Solar Tornado
Aug 9, 2016

A true fool keeps on fighting, even when there is no more glory to be gained
I hate women, but they're my only source of validation confirmation. What do?

Vampire Panties
Apr 18, 2001
nposter
Nap Ghost

Solar Tornado posted:

I hate women, but they're my only source of validation confirmation. What do?

Strip clubs :patriot:

OP have you tried catfishing, or sex tourism?

Haptical Sales Slut
Mar 15, 2010

Age 18 to 49
Have you tried banging some equally fat chicks? According to an episode of archer and family guy fatsex is great.

pencilhands
Aug 20, 2022

Haptical Sales Slut posted:

Have you tried banging some equally fat chicks? According to an episode of archer and family guy fatsex is great.

When I say I’m too morbidly obese to have sex, I mean that I am literally too fat to engage in the act of intercourse.

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007

Solar Tornado posted:

I hate women, but they're my only source of validation confirmation. What do?

Reddit is v popular

pencilhands
Aug 20, 2022

I actually have to use Microsoft’s accessibility options to post here. My fingers are too fat to use a keyboard.

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007

pencilhands posted:

When I say I’m too morbidly obese to have sex, I mean that I am literally too fat to engage in the act of intercourse.

You are a product of an uncreative mind.

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007

pencilhands posted:

I actually have to use Microsoft’s accessibility options to post here. My fingers are too fat to use a keyboard.

Your tongue still works by some work of a cruel god does it not

pencilhands
Aug 20, 2022

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD posted:

You are a product of an uncreative mind.

?

pencilhands
Aug 20, 2022

Are you still mad that I owned you earlier? I’m sorry.

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007

My name is pencilhands, woo woo woo

If i spent time learning to spell woo woo woo the alphabet with my tongue then woo woo woo i wouldnt be making GBS threads up gbs with elliot rogers cosplay woo woo woo

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007

You and I are enemies now

pencilhands
Aug 20, 2022

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD posted:

You and I are enemies now

okay.

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007


good.

N. Senada
May 17, 2011

My kidneys are busted
Things are getting intense in here

I’ve called the mods to close this thread before you all take it too far

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007

N. Senada posted:

Things are getting intense in here

I’ve called the mods to close this thread before you all take it too far

On the next episode of dragon ball z

Punkinhead
Apr 2, 2015

PokeJoe posted:

im at least 1 or 2 of these things and even I have felt the soft loving embrace of a man. Or woman. Whatever stifens your stem

At one point I was all three and as time takes her cruel toll I'm down to one or maybe two at a time and I'm still finding partners

incels are truly reprehensible and should be shot into space (with enough food and comfy pillows for the rest of their lovely lives)

Icochet
Mar 18, 2008

I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~

Grimey Drawer
Jerk off with your hand op it's not rocket science

TrashMammal
Nov 10, 2022


Such cruelty on display in this thread. Is this what you hoped to find within the hearts of men, OP?

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

A Soft Nylon Bag
Start taking an SSRI op

BigBadSteve
Apr 29, 2009

Icochet posted:

Jerk off with your hand op it's not rocket science

Pro-tips:
  • Sit on your hand first until it goes numb, so it feels like someone else is jacking you off.
  • Decorate your hand with lipstick.
  • If you get bored of that and buy a sex doll, choose wisely, you don't want one of the ugly ones.

Smugworth
Apr 18, 2003


There's a community of folks just like you in the PYF subforum's "PYF legends" thread op, have you tried posting there to find some support?

olives black
Nov 24, 2017


LENIN.
STILL.
WON'T.
FUCK.
ME.

BigBadSteve posted:

Pro-tips:
  • Sit on your hand first until it goes numb, so it feels like someone else is jacking you off.
  • Decorate your hand with lipstick.
  • If you get bored of that and buy a sex doll, choose wisely, you don't want one of the ugly ones.

just don't wind up like this guy

https://youtu.be/OmIHpEN9gDw

Rupert Buttermilk
Apr 15, 2007

🚣RowboatMan: ❄️Freezing time🕰️ is an old P.I. 🥧trick...

Private Cumshoe posted:

you have no idea

I would like to know more.

Funky See Funky Do
Aug 20, 2013
STILL TRYING HARD
You should be happy that you're even allowed to have sex. In most places in the world it's still illegal. If they do it the police will come by in the middle of the night, take them away, and leave their mother sobbing in the kitchen "No no mi bambino no sexo no."

syntaxfunction
Oct 27, 2010

Seriously tho why the gently caress are phones so expensive? "It's a computer in your pocket!" Motherfuckers I am walking around with a grand of easily ruined cash in my pocket what the gently caress

Lil Swamp Booger Baby
Aug 1, 1981

OP the best feeling is a hot bath in a dark room.

STABASS
Apr 18, 2009

Fun Shoe
alright op, you wore me down. I'll go get my wig

Toxic Mental
Jun 1, 2019

Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:

OP the best feeling is a hot bath in a dark room.

bradzilla
Oct 15, 2004

can't say I am op. I sleep with my fiance in a big bed

Wee
Dec 16, 2022

by Fluffdaddy
If its been too long and you really need sex you can actually pay a person for sex. Its consensuel and they are probably a lot better at it than you are.

Bula Vinaka
Oct 21, 2020

beach side

pencilhands posted:

I haven’t known the touch of a woman in years and likely never will again

anyone else?

Wait until the super real Chat GPT 3.x 4.x etc. AI girlfriend robots start being made. This will happen and tons of peeps like you will pay $50,000+ for one.

Bula Vinaka
Oct 21, 2020

beach side
Imagine combos of this poo poo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dtu4t_Zc3d4

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
No amount of loving will fix your hosed up brain namaste

BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

A Soft Nylon Bag
Op wants sex but is physically incapable of having sex. A sad tale as old as time.

bradzilla
Oct 15, 2004

op how much fat do you have to lift to find your tiny peen?

MrQwerty
Apr 15, 2003

LOVE IS BEAUTIFUL
(づ ̄ ³ ̄)づ♥(‘∀’●)

BAGS FLY AT NOON posted:

Op wants sex but is physically incapable of having sex. A sad tale as old as time.

A sad fate for dollar store wizard master

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BAGS FLY AT NOON
Apr 6, 2011

A Soft Nylon Bag

Peggy Edson posted:

op how much fat do you have to lift to find your tiny peen?

Op I am forklift certified if you need some assistance

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