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for me, the first thing that came to mind was the scorpion and the frog meme, but with trump scorpitaur on there
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Jan 22, 2024 00:53
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Scorpitrump is believable tbh
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Jan 22, 2024 00:59
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credburn posted:I've been screaming in my dreams. Just screaming, as loud as I can. I wake up and my face hurts, my jaw is sore, I am definitely making the faces of a screaming person in my sleep. My muscles are doing the thing. I don't think I'm actually screaming, though. If it happens chronically you could try taping your mouth closed with medical tape. That keeps your mouth from opening easily. Then if you are screaming the tape will rip free and the sting could wake you up before you hurt yourself.
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Jan 22, 2024 04:33
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I had a nightmare. For the last 6 months on monday nights I GM a pathfinder game at a local community center. Usually the same 4 people, but if there is a crowd we can fit another 2 at our table. In the dream I get there and I must be late because the tables are already set up and a bunch of people are in our room. Instead of being 2 long folding tables side by side =, there are 5 or 6 end to end in a long U like |_____| plus there is another pair of tables set up our usual way, but 4 strangers are at it. Weird, but okay. Sometimes we get this room to ourselves, sometimes another GM has a table in here too. There is no other GM. ALL these people are here for my Pathfinder game. Eek. I push down my social anxiety and go find the coordinator and tell him I have way too many people and can someone run a oneshot or something for some of these folks. No problem he finds someone and 6 of the extra players sit at the small table and get started. For some reason almost everyone is sitting along the outside of the long U, so I can't even see most people. I move into the inside. At which point I realize I still have way to many people. It's dream blurry but 8 or 9. One of my regular players looks annoyed. Anxiety is sky high. I can handle it. I'll just double the number of enemies and everything will be fine. "Does everyone have a character? We're level 5. Uh, does everyone know how to play Pathfinder? This is a Pathfinder table not a D&D table." I'm doing my best to get things organized. I can handle this. Getting my GM stuff out of my bag onto the table. How will people at the end even see the maps from so far away? Where are the maps?! They aren't in my bag. I forgot to bring the maps for this session. Oh god. Oh no. Everyone is looking at me. I start to feel sick in the pit of my stomach. Maybe that's the solution. I'll just say I'm sick and run away. Let all these people down. But then I'm sick, not disorganized. That's better right? "Excuse me," I say and head for the bathroom. Today the bathroom has 3 stalls (normally all the bathrooms there are single person). There is a cat laying in the doorway of the third stall. That's a good sign, I take that one. Maybe I can pet the cat to calm down. The stall door doesn't latch properly. It can't possible latch properly because it's a good 4 inches too narrow for the doorway it is hung in. Real swingy too. I do my best to line it up and sit down. A woman comes in, she's talking on her cell phone. Pacing back and forth like it's a tense call. She paces right into my stall. Mortified I say, "I'm on the toilet". Really loving eloquent. She leaves my stall and I try to hold the door kinda closed. I wake up. I have to go check that my maps are packed for tomorrow.
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Jan 22, 2024 05:03
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I just woke up from a weird dream. I had just found out about a 24 hour grocery store on the roof of the apartment that I shared with my online friend Frederick and Saul Goodman so we went at 3:30am to check it out. First we walked past the 7-11 that was up there (and had a little crisis realizing that we had easy access to slurpees and bad, cheap pizza 24/7 and it was going to be tough to stick to our diets we were all on), then we got to the store and waited for somebody to come out with groceries to make sure it was actually open because we were all socially awkward. Somebody eventually did, so we went inside and started shopping It was a nice place, they had a bakery and everything. We were enjoying our shopping trip right up until Fred was killed by a falling pile of beef brisket primals. Fortunately this was a magic universe so his body just poofed like a gem from Steven Universe, so I chatted with Saul and his ghost for a while about what the legal liability of the store was in all this. Eventually I realized that we should dig his clothes out of the pile for when he came back to life. So I started throwing these 100 pound vacuum packed slabs of beef onto the floor (and getting lots of nasty looks from the employees but they couldn't say anything about it because they were partially responsible for killing somebody which is still kind of a big deal even if they come back after a few minutes) and I keep pulling all these clothes out, and it's like a whole laundry basket full. I asked why he was wearing so many layers when we were just walking across the roof from the elevator to the store but he just said they were his mom's So I arranged his clothes into the outfit he was wearing so that when his body reformed he wouldn't be naked and his ghost started casting the spell to resurrect himself. I tried to boost it with my own magic, but I was emotionally unstable (not from watching my dear friend die, somebody I didn't want to talk to had messaged me earlier in the dream and I was upset about it) so the spell went wrong and instead of making his body, the matter that was supposed to become him instead turned into multiple plushies of me. They were all over the store. I ran outside to look down from the roof and they were all over the city because, as a voiceover began to explain, I am a particularly powerful mage and hadn't realized it yet because I never bothered trying to cast anything other than the regular household magic that everybody knows Then I picked one up and started thinking about how weird it was that Fred and I were our VRChat avatars while Saul Goodman was in the much more human-looking body of actor Bob Odenkirk, but I woke up before coming to any conclusions about that
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Jan 22, 2024 09:50
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I was in a junk store and found these old whiskey glasses, they were an ugly amber color with brown text and clearly from the 70s. They all had a picture of a "cool" bachelor-looking dude's face with a cigarette (basically  ) and each one said something different:"Dinner at your place baby, you're cooking thanksgiving" "Piece of the action" And finally "Hamburger dinner every day"
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Jan 22, 2024 16:05
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flavor.flv posted:So I arranged his clothes into the outfit he was wearing so that when his body reformed he wouldn't be naked and his ghost started casting the spell to resurrect himself. I tried to boost it with my own magic, but I was emotionally unstable (not from watching my dear friend die, somebody I didn't want to talk to had messaged me earlier in the dream and I was upset about it) so the spell went wrong and instead of making his body, the matter that was supposed to become him instead turned into multiple plushies of me. They were all over the store. I ran outside to look down from the roof and they were all over the city because, as a voiceover began to explain, I am a particularly powerful mage and hadn't realized it yet because I never bothered trying to cast anything other than the regular household magic that everybody knows  Captain Invictus posted:I took a nap and had a surreal dream where Trump had his upper torso grafted onto a giant scorpion body, becoming a scorpi-taur. And replaced his hands with scorpion claws that had teeth in them. My first thought was The Scorpion King starring Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson only with aging outraged Trump instead of young very buff Dwayne. I was going to photoshop this mental image to illustrate but decided I don't want to, because I hate it
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Jan 22, 2024 18:15
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Friend posted:I was in a junk store and found these old whiskey glasses, they were an ugly amber color with brown text and clearly from the 70s. They all had a picture of a "cool" bachelor-looking dude's face with a cigarette (basically "Dinner at your place baby, you're cooking thanksgiving." got me good.
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Jan 22, 2024 19:36
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I don't remember any other part of the dream, except at some point a journalist was interviewing Michael Mann about some movie, and Michael Mann said, "Please, Mr. Mann was my father. Call me Mr. Boy." And I woke myself up laughing so hard.
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Jan 23, 2024 04:04
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credburn posted:I don't remember any other part of the dream, except at some point a journalist was interviewing Michael Mann about some movie, and Michael Mann said, "Please, Mr. Mann was my father. Call me Mr. Boy." And I woke myself up laughing so hard. That's good! Your brain did a good gag. Apparently I was doing such a bad job brushing my teeth that they sent me back to university to take courses about it. The whole dream was just about introducing myself to my new roommate while going through my morning routine - getting out of bed, washing up, brushing my teeth (poorly, I guess), getting dressed and ready to run to a 7 am class. Then I woke up for real, about an hour before I usually roll out of bed. Tried to go back to sleep and my brain directly told me "no, you're awake now". Super annoying, thanks, wise-rear end.
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Jan 24, 2024 14:07
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Wandering through the seemingly endless, spacious halls of a space station, full of aliens and oddities and vendors for all sorts of unknowable things, I had a little metal tube immovably stuck on my finger. This was the equivalent of The One Ring, a macguffin that a Big Bad was after, and it was stuck to the end of my finger. My dad was walking through the station with me, he wanted to find me some armor to protect me from the bad guy after me. We went to various armor vendors, testing things out. I got a couple of small armored shoulder pads from one place and then went on our way. In one "break room" atrium, dad said he wanted to go check something out, left me with a heavily detailed metal table that was round on the bottom with those antique claw bathtub feet things, and tons of evenly spaced tiny holes all over the top of it, like vents in an old metal fireplace popcorn popper. Next to it was a large, filthy, overgrown statue of an alien creature with two arms each outstretched to its sides inlaid on a wall section, lichen, moss, and vines covering most of it. I started to eat the metal table, just grabbing chunks of it with each hand and holding them like a sandwich, and awkwardly crunching the parts to bits. Nearby, two incredibly ornate metallic figures, looking like large armored creatures like Ornstein and Smough, chuckled to themselves watching me. They showed me how to properly eat the metal table I had, and told me to clean the organics off the statue before digging in. I did so, and found the alien statue was not two-armed, but eight-armed, six of the limbs hidden under the growth all over it. Each claw, hand, or other end to each limb was different, and one was a socket. I stuck the thing on my finger into the socket, fitting perfectly. Suddenly, glowing black-and-teal cubes like you would see in a video game as a special effect of "digitizing" or whatever started floating around me, my arm, and the socket connection I made. They went from nondescript blank cubes to bloody, veiny cubes of meat, growing larger and engulfing my arm and eventually me entirely, sucking me into the statue. I was unceremoniously dumped from the ceiling into a different part of the station. In this area, I was in what seemed like a brightly lit store, laid out like your typical outlet stores, with shelves and little tables with stuff for sale. But it wasn't clothes or regular goods, I noticed, but memories of mine. Things I haven't thought about in decades. Things I watched on youtube just days ago. Some simply images or videos on a tablet, others manifestations of objects of mine from my lifetime. Toys I cherished as a child. Objects that held significance from a given moment to me. Clothes I loved wearing. Photos of significance to me. Games I had played. Pets I had had over the years. A bunch of people were browsing, of various heights, but essentially all of them bald(I can't grow hair whatsoever, for context). As I walked by some of them, I noticed some looked familiar, others looked very unfamiliar. I then realized, I was looking at myself. These were versions of me from other worlds, other dimensions, other possibilities. A scarred, blind in one eye soldier, wearing a full suit of power armor, confidently striding through the halls. A metal construct shaped like me, but made entirely of filigree, creaking and scraping constantly as it walked. A wheelchair-bound invalid, heavily covered in protective clothing, robes, and medical apparati, pushed around by a cloaked figure. A tall, extremely thin one, like he had been stuck in a taffy puller, with limbs and fingers all many times longer than they should be, hunched so as to not hit his head on the ceiling, his two-foot-long boneless tentacle-like fingers dragging on the floor as he carefully shuffled past others. Many that looked very similar to me but with minor differences. One who was just me but a woman. One who was me but with long hair and a lengthy beard. One who was slightly differently built to me, conversing with an identical one about a particular memory-item, debating whether to get it. One who was just flopped on the ground, gasping for air, maybe an aquatic version that needed water to breathe? I saw dozens of variants of myself all peacefully shopping in my mind-store. I walked out of the store, and realized the metal tube on my finger was gone, the finger was swollen but otherwise fine. I woke up.
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Jan 25, 2024 19:57
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All I remember is the phrase "Report: New Taco Bell Panda Sauce contains virtually no chicken"
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Jan 26, 2024 15:33
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I was marching in a platoon along a city sidewalk. I recognized it as Madison St in Chicago, the route I took from the train station to my office when I lived there. I saw a large, majestic green bird land atop a short building across the street (on our right), at the roof's edge, looking at us as we walked by. "Wow" I said and pointed, "is that a jackdaw?" (lol) "No" a woman's voice replied, "It's a jackdee." I was wondering what the hell that was, and why it was there. Then I realized it was there because there were dozens of smaller green birds perched on the size of the building. They started flying at high speed very low over our heads, most people weren't scared but I was, cowering with my arms above my head. I smacked one of them out of the air, and then a few seconds later I felt a sharp pain in my hand. A small bird had embedded its beak in my hand. I shook my hand violently until it flew out of my hand, onto the road, dead  I stepped out of the still marching platoon to collect myself for a moment, then ran up ahead and crossed the street and waited for everyone else.
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Jan 26, 2024 23:04
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I was plant shopping. I woke up wanting to go plant shopping. I have real tasks to do instead 
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Jan 27, 2024 19:17
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I was with the X-Men and we were in the lobby of Jurassic Park, like where the banner falls on the trex at the end. Unfortunately my powers were controlling water, which translated to "I make puddles of water appear at my feet and if I wave my arms around, I can kinda splash you with water collected from the humidity." At one point Iceman zooms by on his ice bridge and Storm flies up to a balcony to fight dinosaurs and I just looked at them and thought "it's such bullshit I have to use the stairs..." My subconscious opened the box labeled "dope poo poo from when I was ten" and then gave me the Mad Catz controller.
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Jan 29, 2024 01:59
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Dreamed that my parents (not my actual parents) threw a party where the theme was retro games and the setting was a late '70s-early '80s living room with brown carpets, faded yellow walls and rust-colored upholstery, coincidentally matching the color scheme of the NES games the kids were playing. The adults gathered around the kitchen table. Somebody said something innocuous which really upset Joaquin Phoenix (sitting to my left) and he started weeping openly, which made everyone else uncomfortable. I needed to comfort him but I didn't want to make my boyfriend jealous (not my actual boyfriend), so I sat there stroking Joaquin Phoenix's upper arm with my knuckles just until he calmed down.
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Jan 29, 2024 09:02
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Dreamed that I was hanging with several friends in a parking lot. But while sitting on the hood of a car I had a friend scrape my lower back with a credit card because it felt like there was "extra skin" back there. He did, and it shook him badly; "you don't wanna see it" he said. Later I found out why: I had leprosy, and that was why I had a bunch of extra rotting tissue on my back that he was scraping off.
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Jan 29, 2024 13:15
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I was at a convention for LGBT engineers (I am neither) and when it came time to introduce ourselves, I stood up and said "I'm probably the only straight guy here which feels like drowning in the bathtub at the Playboy Mansion." Also dreamed I was part of a Rube Goldberg machine where the end result was to launch a paper airplane on a zipline up my rear end. My only comment was that it didn't hurt as much as I'd expected.
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Jan 31, 2024 15:19
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a VERY brief sleep session before being woken by my hamster knocking her wheel over and then banging it against everything, I only remember one thing from the short dream I had: A ninja shouting in a Jamaican accent "THAT'S A SCUBA SHININ' STAAAAR!" and then literally doing this gif 
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Feb 1, 2024 11:07
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Just had a dream that played out like a weird, disgusting movie. Chadwick Boseman was trying to get into some kind of church, but a church official stopped him and they had some kind of back and forth. Boseman walked into the church intent on proving something and there was this lowered depression in the back of the church with a tub in the middle. Chadwick walked over to it, picked up the tub, and started projectile vomiting right into it, and I was so grossed out by this sight that I woke up with an upset stomach.
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Feb 12, 2024 17:41
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I bet your stomach was sick before that dream and your brain just concocted that poo poo to explain it. I do this all the time
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Feb 13, 2024 05:09
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I quit smoking weed last week after smoking more than anyone I've ever known, every single day, without end, for seven years. My dreams have come back with such intensity that I'm terrified of sleep, but also so eager to go back. Last night I dreamed that I did something to ruin a guy's restaurant review, so to make it up for him, I hired a hitman to come into the restaurant and shoot me in the stomach, so that the restaurant would be in the news for something other than whatever I did to ruin it, and so MY GUTS HAD BEEN EXPLODED WITH A SHOTGUN
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Feb 13, 2024 07:05
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I just had a dream where part of the dream was trying to put a lamp down a hole in the back yard using the hose as a rope but then a kid turned the water on which shorted out the lamp so they got electrocuted through the hose to the tap. Then, the dad of the kid who was near by yelled SOMEONE NEEDS TO DIAGNOSE THIS KID WITH CPR and then instead of doing cpr he was punching the kid on the chest into the ground, which was making them bounce until he was just low dribbling them like a basketball. Kid got better! All I remember about the rest of the dream was that the ground was all churned up by holes and deep burrows and I was convinced it was terribly unsafe but the family who lived there was unconvinced which is why we were trying to inspect the hole in the first place.
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Feb 13, 2024 08:34
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Milo and POTUS posted:I bet your stomach was sick before that dream and your brain just concocted that poo poo to explain it. I do this all the time 
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Feb 13, 2024 22:23
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lmfao
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Feb 14, 2024 02:47
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After six years of extremely heavy use of marijuana I quit, about ten days ago. During these years, my dreams have kind of been nonexistent. I used to dream all the time, but once I started using cannabis, they sort of fizzled away into nights of either having no dreams or having such hazy and forgetful dreams that I wake up with a dream typically being "Oh, I guess I had a dream I was at work." Extremely mundane stuff. But the week has been bonkers, each night being more intense than the last. And also a few days ago I got real sick, spent basically the entire day in bed having fever dreams. Last night I reached a level of semi(?)-lucidity. I was trapped in a place that is basically The Backrooms but instead of being yucky yellow, everything was very sterile and white, a place real similar to the university I worked at a few years ago. White tile ceiling with white fluorescent lights, white walls, gray textured carpet. Endless corridors that don't follow a grid pattern, to give the area a sort of natural "flow." Doors leading into offices, corridors branching off and sometimes expanding into large areas with cubicles inside. In the dream I am floating. I can control myself in the air, like I have thrusters or something, or like I'm a superhero from a cartoon who can kind of just propel himself forward without anything to kick or boost off from, but also I am affected by momentum that I cannot control very well. I am kind of bouncing around these corridors, moving too fast and not able to stop in time, hitting a wall and bouncing off it like a moron. I pick up way too much speed at some point and slam into the wall so hard that it hurts, hurts in a way I don't normally feel in a dream. It hurt so much that I realized it should have hurt more, and I think this is what clues me in that this is a dream. I can't move my legs, but I don't care because legs don't really matter here; I'm floating around, after all, and propelling off and with nothing. I realize I am enjoying this flying thing even if I can't control it very well. I want to go outside, where I have more room. Occasionally as I drift through these endless corridors I see a window leading to the outside. And even though there are doors everywhere, I don't try to open any of them. I just float down corridors, sometimes down flights of stairs, looking for a way out. And as I'm floating I start considering where I am in the real world. I think, my alarm is going to go off at 8:00 AM. Will I be able to find the outdoors by then? I hope so, because I'm really enjoying this dream. I open my eyes, and look toward my bedroom window; it's still dark out. I know that I could look at my phone and see what time it actually is, but I worry that doing so will wake me from this dream. I am in a strange double-state, where I have left my dream-body floating around in the dream-world so I can check out the real-world. I worry that when I return to my dream-body, I will find I've been kidnapped or something, but when I come back I am just still floating around these corridors. I realize here I have not seen another person in this adventure. I wonder if that is because I'm not in a dream, but in something else. I feel strangely aware of my surroundings. I seem to understand this is a dream. I feel like I can control the function that can disconnect me from this dream, like I've taken that away from whatever other entity controls it normally. I float onward through the corridors looking for other people but there is nobody. I think, alright, so I am aware this is a dream. Now, let's see if I can astral project. But how do I do that? Well, I sure don't know. I think there are some things I can try -- these "things" being like... magic spells I silently think in my head, perhaps? But I know if I try them and it's too much, it might disconnect me from the dream. So I think I'll start by just calling out someone's name. When I say my friend's name aloud, I don't do it in-dream. I hear my body say the name. It makes me laugh. I try to say the name again but my dream-mouth isn't even opening. I check in on my real-life-body. I open my eyes and realize my face is pressed against the wall. I move away from it, and it almost makes me laugh. I must have looked fuckin weird, like I was trying to snog the wall. I am careful not to move my body too much because I don't want to disconnect from the dream. I look at the window. I think there's light coming through. I don't have a lot of time, then. I return to my dream body and try saying my friend's name again. I am saying it in real life, I can hear my muffled mouth slur the name. I can hear my breath pass through my teeth and barely open lips. Well, I realize, all I'm doing is whispering someone's name in my sleep, that's not astral projection at all. I return to my dream-body, still floating around, still lost in these corridors. It isn't long after this that I lose the lucidity, the location of the dream morphs into something else, my parents eventually are there, an ex-girlfriend, and while there is interesting stuff that follows, it's just dream-nonsense.
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Feb 15, 2024 17:27
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I had a dream that Cloris Leachman came back from the dead and just generally talked to me & a group of dream people about how she had been doing lately. She refused to tell us what it was like to die or what it was like to be dead though. She was nice though. It was an event that was like, more personal than a TED Talk but less personal than a meet & greet.
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Feb 15, 2024 17:56
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credburn posted:After six years of extremely heavy use of marijuana I quit, about ten days ago. During these years, my dreams have kind of been nonexistent. I used to dream all the time, but once I started using cannabis, they sort of fizzled away into nights of either having no dreams or having such hazy and forgetful dreams that I wake up with a dream typically being "Oh, I guess I had a dream I was at work." Extremely mundane stuff. But the week has been bonkers, each night being more intense than the last. And also a few days ago I got real sick, spent basically the entire day in bed having fever dreams. Last night I reached a level of semi(?)-lucidity. I think you may have spent last night passing backstage between realities. Welcome, in this one we just got the Fruit of the Loom cornucopia back and are now beginning to engage a surprise pivot toward a generalized pro-mythological supernaturalism.
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Feb 15, 2024 18:04
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It seemed like a very convoluted dream, but once I fully woke up all I remember was a forum post that said "Hot Salt." with a salt emoji. Also we had a salt emoji. A pile of salt, not a salt shaker. Poorly recreated here: What did it mean? Why were we discussing hot salt? Was a discussion of molten salt reactors? Salt with capsaicin added? I am haunted by the hot salt.
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Feb 16, 2024 06:54
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Facebook Aunt posted:It seemed like a very convoluted dream, but once I fully woke up all I remember was a forum post that said "Hot Salt." with a salt emoji. Also we had a salt emoji. A pile of salt, not a salt shaker. Poorly recreated here: :justsalt:
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Feb 16, 2024 07:19
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Facebook Aunt posted:It seemed like a very convoluted dream, but once I fully woke up all I remember was a forum post that said "Hot Salt." with a salt emoji. Also we had a salt emoji. A pile of salt, not a salt shaker. Poorly recreated here: 
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Feb 16, 2024 07:47
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I was in prison for reasons that would be revealed later. There was a gameshow I could enter; the prize was $10,000 and my freedom. The gameshow was a Running Man kind of situation; the goal was to reach the top of a certain building without getting killed. There would be all sorts of people trying to kill me, with anything they could except they could not use guns. The gimmick here is that I would have two guns that fired kind of pretend-bullets. Anyone I hit with these fake bullets would not be hurt in any way, but it would pacify them. From prison I wrote a letter to the gameshow, explaining that my real goal was my freedom so that I could hunt down and find the man who killed my father. The gameshow people were intrigued by this, so they had me as their contestant. From the prison itself, I was given the two guns. One of the guns was like an uzi, and fired a never ending spray of bullets. The gun kicked when I fired, but the bullets themselves were like video game bullets. I could see the streamer of the bullet and see it splash where it hit, but it barely had any physical reaction. It would be like being lightly poked repeatedly, to get hit with the uzi. The other gun fired a sort of beam, in a way. It was kind of like firing a garden hose. The game began. All the inmates in the prison came at me. I fired my guns at them. When they were hit, they all just sort of stopped charging at me, disappointed they had been hit. I ran through the prison corridors, shooting at inmates, dodging them as they tried to get the upper hand by hiding in their cells or behind corners. None of them had weapons; they were inmates, armed only with their bare fists. But as I got toward the end of the prison, people started to enter the compound from the outside, and they brought weapons. Baseball bats, knives. I got scared at one point and ran into the showers. The lights were flickering and dark. Someone was hiding in the shower, and he lunged at me but I got him first. I almost stepped on a bear trap someone had left. I escaped the prison... and ran around town or something for a little while. Then I got to the building where at the very top was the flag I needed to win the game. I thought I was outsmarting people by not going into the building at all, but instead scaling the fire escape on the outside. From below, all sorts of people were pursuing me. From above, others were coming down. Everyone had weapons. I shot them all with my pretend guns. But just as I got toward the top, someone knocked my beam-gun away. All I had was the uzi. People were clawing at me as I climbed. They had my leg, and they were pulling me down. I was getting punched in the face by people above me. I shot them and punched and kicked. I managed to get to the roof. The flag was on a pole in the middle of a huge pile of pillows and blankets of many colors. I was injured now, and bleeding from wounds all over my body, but I was still alive, I just had to get to the flag. Then one man jumped on me. He took the gun away from me and pounding me with his fist. He was beating me to death. I didn't even care; I was just inches out of reach from the flag. If i could just grab it, it'd all be over. Then the host of the gameshow appeared. There were cameras around me. He held a microphone out and asked how it felt to be so close. He said it was a tragedy, after what had happened to my father. And then he said, the man who killed my father is the very man who was on top of me, pinning me down, punching me. I said, I don't care who killed my father. I just wrote that so I could enter the contest. I really just want the money and my freedom. The man on top of me screamed in frustration. "Do you know why I killed your father?" he said. "Don't you know?" He held the pretend uzi up so I could see it. "Everybody knows that green means safe," he said. He showed me a little light on the side of the uzi. It glowed green. "Yellow means stun," he said, and touched the green light. It turned yellow. "Red means kill," he said, and touched it again. It turned red. Suddenly I remembered what happened, the reason why I had gone to prison in the first place. Some time in the past I thought the gun was on stun, but it wasn't. I had killed this man's father on accident because I didn't realize the gun was set to kill. My face was covered in blood. I couldn't move. I was not dead but I was defeated. All around me now were people. People who I had shot with the pretend bullets, others who were still active, the game show host, the camera people. The man on top of me pointed the uzi at my face, now active in kill mode. I shrugged; what could I do? I deserved to die; I didn't mean to kill this man's father. He didn't need to kill mine, but I understood why he did it. He blasted me apart with it. credburn has a new favorite as of 18:16 on Feb 22, 2024 |
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Feb 22, 2024 18:14
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Partner, friend, and I passed by a business. Sign on the door said MADE OF PINK BUT WE ARE NOT "PINK" WE ARE A GAME we didn't know what this meant so we went in It was like those claw machine arcades, except for that duck fishing carnival game.
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Feb 23, 2024 15:43
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I was in a small town, in perhaps a post-apocalypse setting. It was snowing. I and two others had made the decision to leave the town and try to walk north, along the Old Highway. But we were forbidden to leave the town, and people would come for us. So we devised some kind of plan that would trick the town leaders into thinking we were still there. This plan involved making a deal with a federal agent of some kind. He would be able to give us a day or two's head start. In exchange we were able to get him fossils, which I think he could use to manufacture drugs? Early in the morning, I and the two others loaded up our packs. They were heavy; so heavy I could barely walk with the amount of things I carried. One of the others was even weaker than I, and he could not bring everything. We explained to him that even if it meant going slow, we HAD to have all this equipment. We could take turns with the extra load. But it was necessary we take it all. Just before we left, the door to the shack we were hiding in was kicked open. Thugs came in. They had guns, which were cylindars that projected a pentagram on the target. When fired, the bullet would pierce the center of the pentagram. An old lady who had been taking care of us was shot and killed, as well as another person. But I and the two other fugitives, we were unhurt. The thugs were defeated; I managed to acquire one of these guns. I shone the pentagram projection on one of their chests and fired, and killed him. We hurriedly left, out into the snow, into the early morning. The gunshots must have been heard, and people would be coming to check it out. We just hoped that they would be busy trying to discern the nature of the crime and not conclude that the three of us slipped out into the wilderness. Days later, we are much farther north. Snow is everywhere, just rolling hills of snow. Suddenly there is a spotlight on us. We've been caught! I and my two fugitive pals duck down in front of a snowy hill. On the other side are the federal agents come to take us back. But I can see also there is our guy on the inside. I knew then that we were in trouble; that guy would have to ensure we were killed, because otherwise we might talk and reveal his involvement. I had no intention of doing so, nor did my partners, but the federal guy couldn't chance that. He NEEDED to ensure we were killed. And so there was no choice, to save our own lives we would have to kill him. I peeked above the snowy hill. The captain of the federal guys was shouting at us to surrender. The other agents were spreading out. They were going to be encircling us in a moment, flanking us. I don't know what happened to my cylinder gun, but now I had just a regular pistol. I could see the federal insider, our man. He was shouting at us to just surrender. He wanted us to become a target so he could fire. He wasn't going to let us surrender. I had to act before we were surrounded; my plan was to shoot and kill him, then hopefully surrender before being killed by all the other agents. But he was so far away, and I did not know how to use a pistol. I aimed as best I could and fired, again and again until the gun was empty. I didn't hit him at all. I looked to my left and saw a pentagram projected onto one of my fellow fugitives. Before I could say anything he was shot and killed. The agents were now surrounding us. I laid down in the snow, held my hands up. We couldn't run or we'd be shot. We couldn't fight back or we'd be shot. There was nothing to do but surrender and hope that we could find a way to convince our inside guy that we were not going to give him up. But as they enclosed on us, I knew, we would be dead before we ever got back to town.
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Feb 24, 2024 00:59
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Cool worldbuilding
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Feb 24, 2024 02:59
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I was walking outdoors with a friend along a road, for whatever reason the road became a swampy black sludge in front of us but we still had to follow its path. She easily trotted through it and at the other end was a freestanding doorway we both had to go through. I couldn't move as fast through the swampy water but I proceeded. There was an intersection where some people were standing in a circle, as I passed around them on the left I felt something grab onto my right arm with tiny claws and move up toward my shoulder. I grabbed it and it was furry, but I couldn't pull it off. I asked the people if they could remove it, they happily did and let me continue on my way. I made it to the door, opened it and walked through. On the other side I was in a busy restaurant. There was a door to a restroom immediately on my left, as I checked the door handle to see if it was locked the door opened and a woman exited. Since this restroom wasn't designated for one gender, I entered and began scrubbing my arms and face. I was covered in black runny swamp water, but my arms had cobalt blue paint caked on and the soap and hot water wasn't having any effect. While I was scrubbing, another woman walked up to the other sink and mirror while wearing a towel around her and another on her head. She'd just had a shower, and continued talking not realizing I was there. When she did realize I was there, I apologized profusely and said I would finish cleaning up and get out quickly. She agreed and patiently waited while I quickly tossed hot water all over myself (with clothes on), then vigorously scrubbed down with my bare hands. I left the bathroom then woke up from my afternoon nap a few minutes ago. TITTIEKISSER69 has a new favorite as of 20:32 on Feb 25, 2024 |
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Feb 24, 2024 23:03
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In the dream I had broken up with my girlfriend, and an old friend let me stay in his house. His house was a weird labyrinth of floors and half-floors. I was given a bedroom on a floor near the attic. From here I could look through a place where a wall should be but for some reason was not, and I could see down to the floor below. I could see stairs that led somewhere, stairs that perhaps led nowhere. Every time I stepped on a board it creaked so loudly, I thought my friend was going to be upset. He said I could stay there as long as I needed to. I walked around his house for a long time. Everything was wood, the walls, floors, ceiling, all wood. I found a kitchen, and then later an identical kitchen but I knew they weren't the same. Eventually I found my way to his back patio, with a short stone wall and stone steps led down into the river. There was a fire pit here, some tables. It was night. I was getting so tired. I sat down on one of the chairs and fell asleep. I found myself back in the room he'd given me. I went walking through his house again, but things felt different. I was floating now, not walking. I came upon an old childhood friend, Max. Max was telling me he and I should have something to drink. I followed him outside, to the back patio area with the stone steps. I was floating, and couldn't control my altitude very well. I would hover over the stairs leading downward and it took a ton of effort but I was able to slowly descend. Max was getting frustrated with me. I suddenly woke up on the back patio. I'd fallen asleep! I felt that I needed to go back into the house and make sure everything was alright with my pal who was letting me stay there, but I stumbled or something, and fell into the river. I grabbed hold of the stone wall that kept the water from washing onto the patio. I tried to hoist myself up, but I was falling asleep again. I managed to get partway up, but fell asleep, and fell into the water. I woke up again in the house, in my room. I realized I had fallen asleep, and this was a dream -- my body was in the river! I tried to race downstairs to get back to the patio, but I was floating again. I cried out for Max, but he was nowhere to be found. I tried so hard to descend but I couldn't. So I tried to find a window where I could just jump out of and maybe try to descend from the open air. Somehow, I managed to get the attention my my friend who was letting me stay there. I told him, I'm dreaming and I need to wake up! My body is in the river! Somehow I was then in his car, and he was driving fast down a road, in the daylight. He was going to slam the car into a wall -- that would wake me up. But I got scared, and I opened the door and jumped out of the car. But I didn't descend, I didn't hit the ground -- I was still floating, and maintaining my altitude in the air but still traveling at the speed the car was. I was spinning, like a frisbee in flight, and I slammed into a brick wall. It hurt, but much less than I thought it would. I opened my eyes. I was in the real world now, in my bed, in my room. I could see the light coming in from my blinds, which meant I must have overslept. I didn't know what time it was though. I tried to reach for my phone, but I couldn't. I was loving paralyzed. I am definitely awake at this point, but I'm experiencing sleep paralysis. I had only experienced this twice in my 20s, and now twice since I quit using cannabis two weeks ago. I could move my eyes, but no other part of my body. And then things started to pull me under. I was falling back asleep. No! I fought against it. I tried to move, but I couldn't. I didn't want to fall asleep! No! I opened my eyes. I'm back in my dream body, and in the river. I can see the bottom of the river. There were some spoons and forks there, and I knew they were expensive. I must have knocked them in when I fell in the water. I swam to the surface and grabbed the stone wall. I climbed out. I was surprised I hadn't drowned, but I thought, oh I have sleep paralysis, that must be affecting my dream, why I don't have to breathe in this dream. I went back into the house, with the loud creaky floorboards. I couldn't find my friend.
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Feb 26, 2024 00:15
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There was a town in Mexico where nobody needed to work because the economy ran entirely on being god’s favorite place to stage real-life versions of romcoms and family movies, so millions of dollars are just generated in implausible scenarios to make sure everyone gets a happy ending every time. So everyone is actually pretty miserable because their actual job is fitting into quirky tourists’ personal plots, and making sure all public-facing government functions are sufficiently comical to make misunderstandings and delay people for dramatic tension
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Feb 26, 2024 15:12
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Nature identification app I use added a new mode called "poor people" where you point it at someone poor and it tells you who they are and what their problems are.
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Mar 1, 2024 13:24
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"this thing's busted, it keeps saying 'lives in a capitalist society' for everyone"
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Mar 1, 2024 16:27
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