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Killingyouguy! posted:Nature identification app I use added a new mode called "poor people" where you point it at someone poor and it tells you who they are and what their problems are. I didn't pay attention to which thread I clicked and had a good WTF moment.
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Mar 1, 2024 16:29
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| # ? Jun 9, 2024 08:08 |
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credburn posted:Sometimes I stumble into this thread and I don't read the title and I read a post like this. Marcade posted:I didn't pay attention to which thread I clicked and had a good WTF moment. Evidently this is my talent
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Mar 1, 2024 16:38
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scores of huge, incredibly ornate robots were marching through the city single file, with an almost goose-stepping stride. Their design was centurion-like, with excessive filigree on every part of their armor and marble columns incorporated into their torsos, with defense turrets popping out of their shoulders and back. They stomped rhythmically, unheeding of anything in their way. I was running through buildings, ruined or not, firing off any machine guns and missile launchers at them as I could in a desperate attempt to stop their inexorable progress. I grappling hooked onto them and fired into the joints of their armor, destroying the knees and ankles and shoulders where I could, then leaping off and fleeing before their defense turrets could mow me down with flak curtains, chaingun rounds and micromissiles. I was able to take down dozens of them in time, before they entered a massive capitol building-like structure, stomping through its extremely long main hall. I ran along the second floor gallery and leapt down upon their shoulders from there, planting magnet mines and shooting into the neck joints of three of them, then fleeing again before the remaining could take me out. I grabbed a rope that was attached to a flying drone of the robots', ascending high into the sky, and leapt onto a Flying Wing that was soaring around with smaller drones launching off of it. I planted explosives that blew off one of the wings, then jumped off and fell, parachuting down to finish off the invading robots. The three front robots were considerably larger and more heavily armored, with more humanoid shaping to their plating and musculature to their armoring and their joints nearly seamlessly protected by the humanlike armor plating. I could not get close to them so I had to try to land hits from cover, quickly fleeing from their return fire whenever I fired off some shots. I took down two of them, with the third making it to the end of the building and stopping, seemingly reaching its destination, its joints opening up and releasing excess steam buildup. I escaped down a sewer cover and popped back up in a rainy night street, a crowd surrounding a small pizza place with an arcade, the area lit only by the neon lighting of the place. Two friends of mine were screaming their heads off in rage at Freddy Fazbear, who was on the ground and shielding himself from them with his hands as he was backed into a corner. ------------------ I do not think the two parts are related and are just two dreams that got kludged together in my mind when I woke up, but I think it'd be funny if they were related and Freddy Fazbear was responsible for the army of robot centurions stomping through The City and my nondescript Friends were extremely angry at him for this
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Mar 12, 2024 19:21
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I completely dreamed up a super werewolf called the Wolfshire that was discussed on the Internet at length in 2021. I had to pack up my stuff and leave the house before the Wolfshire attacked. And I woke up and swear there really was a hoax about a werewolf or monster attacking people in 2021.
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Mar 13, 2024 17:29
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A phoenix had wandered into my ranch (i do not own a ranch) and was just kind of hanging out. I couldn't shoo it away, so a bunch of billionaire cowboys came along to try and negotiate with me for the rights to the bird. i had to entertain them somehow, so i put on one of those outdated documentaries they have you watch in middle school. the kind that would be a troy mcclure bit in the simpsons. the only line i remember from it was "the flag of Other Kansas is the same as the US flag, but with its 11 stars representing its 11 aristocratic families, and single green stripe representing its long-standing military alliance with West Virginia."
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Mar 13, 2024 17:32
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Mister Olympus posted:"the flag of Other Kansas is the same as the US flag, but with its 11 stars representing its 11 aristocratic families, and single green stripe representing its long-standing military alliance with West Virginia." Other Kansas, you say? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZoWc6WRHKEE Amusingly, this isn't as far off as it seems, the Missouri flag has 24 stars, with a background of large red, white, and blue stripes. These stripes represents their long standing military alliance with West Virginia against treacherous Kentucky.
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Mar 14, 2024 06:10
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Took a nap after work and dreamed about a man who looked like Tim Robbins, except he was barely in the dream; it was mostly establishing exteriors and crowd shots. In two simultaneous timelines, the man who looked like Tim Robbins took flight in a modified lawn chair attached to many helium balloons, and was launched into near earth orbit in a modified RV. The RV project obviously had more backing and forethought, but when the hull was breached and the RV guy experienced explosive decompression, the lawn chair balloon guy also exploded. A shower of gore upon the crowd at the lawn chair launch site. A spurt of blood as a bottle of Perrier or Rolling Rock has shattered and the sharp end of the neck non-fatally embeds itself in a boy's eye socket. The crowd scatters in all directions (thankfully no one is trampled) as the lawn chair, its attached flotilla of styrofoam coolers, and the strapped-down mangled torso of the pilot rapidly descend on the launch site.
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Mar 14, 2024 10:50
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my dreams are so scattered that's it's not even worth writing them down
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Mar 18, 2024 20:12
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I'm in some kind of adventure game like situation and there are three paths to deal with the crisis. I choose to stabilize the environmental controls. Ice starts building up on the walls. If I don't fix the environmental controls we're all going to die. I wake up shivering. It's still dark. If I don't turn on the heat we're all going to die. I get to the thermostat and it's set to 16 (60f) just like always. Weird. I turn it up to 20 (68f) and go back to bed. Isn't it a funny old thing how our dreams can influence our perception of reality? Ten hours later I develop uncontrollable diarrhea and vomiting. Based on symptoms and history likely Norovirus. I probably had a fever and cold sweats but failed to heed the warning and just "do do do aren't brains funny". So I ate lunch in a restaurant and was probably 20 minutes from infecting everyone in the place in a cloud of aerosolized body horror. LOL. LMAO.
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Mar 23, 2024 06:33
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I was living in a new neighbourhood and I found a cat outside and it had a collar so I called the number on the tag and they were like "it's an outdoor cat, dumbass. Also, she's a little whore"
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Mar 23, 2024 15:25
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Killingyouguy! posted:I was living in a new neighbourhood and I found a cat outside and it had a collar so I called the number on the tag and they were like "it's an outdoor cat, dumbass. Also, she's a little whore" Are you sure it was a dream?
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Mar 23, 2024 19:59
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I'm at a friend's house and his daughter is there. I ask him how old she is and he says eight months. I say she looks like she's eight or nine years old and he leans close and whispers, "French people age faster."
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Mar 23, 2024 23:10
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Had a dream that the hot new meme was a photograph of a faux brass framed sign atop a faux brass stanchion in a 90's family style restaurant with a lot of wood paneling (think TGI Friday's or Bennigan's) with an arrow pointing up and to the left and the text "DARTH WEINER."
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Mar 24, 2024 16:11
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Had a dream (and I've had this several times) that I was able to get my hands on the more recent collections of Corto Maltese, and then woken up annoyed because i known they've not been released in English or Swedish.
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Mar 27, 2024 09:08
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There's an exotic snack shop down the street from me irl, and when dream-me went there, I found out that they had Firkløver, a Norwegian chocolate bar with hazelnut pieces (and Danish magazines for some reason), and I was so excited that I called some random dream friends to tell them. The (dream) shopkeeper told me I had to wear a mask to buy anything from the shop, but when I came back to the shop, it was closed -- gate down, lights off. He turned on the lights & let me in when I knocked on the door though, so I bought it. My friends & I met up and one of them asked to try some Firkløver. I gave her one piece and when she liked it & asked for more, I said no.  Jump cut to me in a cab, scrambling to make it to a flight home (to my last apartment for some reason) from Miami. When I got to the terminal, it turned out I had way more time than I thought I did. Killingyouguy! posted:I was living in a new neighbourhood and I found a cat outside and it had a collar so I called the number on the tag and they were like "it's an outdoor cat, dumbass. Also, she's a little whore" For some reason, the idea of someone calling a cat a little whore is hilarious  Mister Kingdom posted:I'm at a friend's house and his daughter is there. I ask him how old she is and he says eight months. I say she looks like she's eight or nine years old and he leans close and whispers, "French people age faster." "French people age faster" should be a bumper sticker or something
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Mar 27, 2024 16:21
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Buying the chocolate bar made with real danish magazines
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Mar 29, 2024 03:00
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Dreamt I was staying/sleeping at work in some kind of out of hours scenario in a jury rigged dorm. I was browsing the forums and my browser started glitching and spawning porn popups and I misclicked on something and my webcam turned on. I powered off my tower then realised I use a laptop and I'd actually hard cycled a UPS with a whole bunch of stuff plugged into it. I was very relieved to wake up.
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Apr 3, 2024 03:26
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Had a dream that would have Freud shaking his head in despair - dreamt that I somehow ended up with two dicks. Mainly just ended up thinking that this was going to make taking a piss more complicated.
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Apr 3, 2024 04:30
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Samovar posted:Had a dream that would have Freud shaking his head in despair - dreamt that I somehow ended up with two dicks. It'll be like when you point your dick at the toilet and your stream goes in a completely different direction, times two
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Apr 3, 2024 05:18
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Samovar posted:Had a dream that would have Freud shaking his head in despair - dreamt that I somehow ended up with two dicks. How were they arranged? Side by side, or one atop another?
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Apr 3, 2024 07:00
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Volmarias posted:How were they arranged? Side by side, or one atop another? The former. It was all very confusing and annoying, frankly.
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Apr 3, 2024 07:02
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Is there anything to be said about what content you remember from your dreams most easily? I tend to remember locations, settings, MUCH more vividly than other details, even people. Sometimes a friend will be in my dream but I don't really remember seeing their face, I just knew it was them. But yeah, surreal spaces and locales stick out in my memory moreso than any other details, does that mean anything? Anyway last night there was a huge rainstorm (it's kind of still going) and that worked its way into my dream, but it was mostly about starting a rudimentary two-piece electronic band with one of my coworkers, and it was real spur-of-the-moment, "we have a gig but have never played together before, send me your completed instrumentals and I'll cut them up in Ableton and do some fun things." Also we had a spaceship, and before the gig (that never happened, I woke up to my alarm) we flew around these fantastically enormously monolithic structures in a lush green hilly world, like Scotland if someone had turned up the colour saturation and done some terraforming.
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Apr 3, 2024 13:45
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I hired a prostitute and she was doing such a bad job that her boss walked in halfway through to do a performance evaluation with her. I had to provide feedback
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Apr 3, 2024 15:37
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"Prostitute sucks; doesn't blow."
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Apr 3, 2024 15:41
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Killingyouguy! posted:I hired a prostitute and she was doing such a bad job that her boss walked in halfway through to do a performance evaluation with her. I had to provide feedback Was she put on a Sexual Performance Improvement Plan
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Apr 3, 2024 18:42
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Volmarias posted:Was she put on a Sexual Performance Improvement Plan literally yeah
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Apr 3, 2024 18:42
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I was in an argument about what can be considered a faerie. The only argument I remember making was that it's only fae if the ears touch.
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Apr 3, 2024 18:49
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Killingyouguy! posted:literally yeah Hope she stopped trying to gently caress and started sending resumes out then  Marcade posted:it's only fae if the ears touch. 
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Apr 3, 2024 18:51
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I'm at a karoke bar for some reason and these two hot guys are singing I'll make love to you Like you want me to And I'll hold you tight Baby all through the night Hubba hubba. But then it turns out they are vampires! But it's okay, because it turns out I"m fae! The kind of fae that puts you to sleep and gives you amnesia about the whole thing if contact their bodily fluids. So I tell them this and they go "That won't work on us" and I go "It did the last 4 times". And then they fall asleep because we had a big smooch and my saliva counts as a bodily fluid. So I guess everything is fine? Why did she/I apparently keep making out with vampires at the karaoke bar? No idea.
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Apr 3, 2024 18:59
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I was watching a TV news broadcast about a zombie outbreak in a comedic Shaun of the Dead style. The on location reporter kept trying to interview people what it was like being a zombie and it devolved into her being bitten, becoming a zombie, and the camera crew holding her down while someone tried to kill her with a brick in a purse. But comedically, somehow.
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Apr 9, 2024 15:57
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I can't recall the context, but I had to choose a video system, and the choices were VHS, DVD, Laserdisc, etc. I was really strongly considering Laserdisc, for whatever reason. I saw huge, chunky plastic box cases for the videos, with 3 discs for one movie (because movies are just too long for one disc, obviously), and thinking "well, this is a lot of overhead, but it IS Laserdisc..." What the gently caress
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Apr 9, 2024 17:21
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Feeling a peculiar sense of loss rn because my elderly cat demanding a drink of water from the tub woke me up out of a dream where I was an astronaut on the space shuttle Been waiting my whole life for a dream like that, I was clambering around in zero gravity, and sleeping in a sleeping bag so I didn't float away, and having to take care of the stupid little things a body doesn't do well on orbit, and I was having so much fun. Also, there was a subplot where back on earth my brother had been getting menaced by a car thief, but I had used a fake name to scare him off, except it was looking like the guy I pretended to be was a way bigger criminal than I realized and it was going to cause trouble soon. We've been watching Burn Notice a lot lately so that's probably where that came from. Anyway the cat is hydrated and now purring away on my elbow as I write this.
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Apr 14, 2024 12:41
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Phy posted:Feeling a peculiar sense of loss rn because my elderly cat demanding a drink of water from the tub woke me up out of a dream where I was an astronaut on the space shuttle
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Apr 14, 2024 16:57
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We got our dog 2 years ago, I just had a dream with him in it yesterday. The first time.
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Apr 14, 2024 17:56
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Working at some kind of day camp at the library. Had to entertain small children in an animal focused way. Came up with a song that went, to the tune of the school yard chant, WHAT ANIMAL IS SITTING IN THE TREE? G-I-R-A-F-F-E
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Apr 15, 2024 12:48
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My house was suddenly several stories tall and I was going room to room running into strangers who now lived there. I finally got down to the first floor and went into the garage where my father and my dog (both dead several years now) were chillin'. Got to hug both of them and woke up teary-eyed.
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Apr 16, 2024 22:31
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https://x.com/DanaruLP/status/1780800227554808292 In the dream my husband and I were watching the video together, and afterwards he asked "What the hell was the point of that?" and we both got up and left. This is the only part of the dream I can remember and I remember it super vividly
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Apr 18, 2024 04:30
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Danaru posted:https://x.com/DanaruLP/status/1780800227554808292
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Apr 18, 2024 05:01
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flawless
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Apr 29, 2024 23:01
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I had two weird dreams last night. In then first one they opened up a Freddy fazbear entertainment complex in the middle of downtown Toronto, so my girlfriend and I went despite appearing to be the only ones who knew about five nights at Freddy's and the fact that places like this tend to go wrong. And guess what, the lights went out and the animatronics started going nuts. The place was sprawling and it took hours to make it through the different gigantic areas, each with its own deadly threat. Most of them were ghosts, not robots, because I've never actually played the games and most of the robots looked like this:  But some of them were the sexy kind like in vrchat avatars so I saved our little group of survivors multiple times by seducing them (with Gwen's permission). Finally after hours of adventures that honestly stopped being scary a while ago we got to the entrance and the lights came back on and the employees reappeared and everything seemed to be functioning normally except all the vendors were giving their stuff away because there was a giant exploding gargoyle on top of the building that could bring the place down any minute. For some reason it wasn't serious enough to evacuate but it was enough that everybody there knew there wouldn't be another day of operation so I got some clothes from the gift shop for the Falin/Marcille couple's cosplay Gwen and I have been thinking of putting together and an extra large peach smoothie from the bubble tea stand. It was way too much and I got sick of it halfway through but I felt bad throwing it away and Gwen didn't want it because I got it with boba and she doesn't like the texture. In the second dream I was working on a construction site that was attacked by terrorists with RPGs. They were actually pretty incompetent and managed to capture their leader who was a blond guy in a suit of medieval armour. I asked why they attacked us and he said they were just curious about what we were building. I told him to look out the window at the giant teddy bear and told him that obviously we were building the set for the Guilty Gear movie. I started stripping off his armour while berating him about getting so many people that trusted him hurt (only the terrorists got hurt because they didn't know how to use the rocket launchers and kept blowing themselves up) for something they could have seen on google earth (it was a BIG teddy bear). As I took more of the armour off I could see that he was wearing Bridget cosplay underneath and seemed really ashamed so I gave her contact info for some trans support organizations and let her go
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May 1, 2024 15:47
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