fningnewguy posted:

It had been 2 years since I got out of the US Army. I was working as an underground utility locator when I was offered a new job. The job was to drive a mini van, that I had to mount 3 cameras on, and drive no greater then 20 MPH through out the city of Detroit to take high resolution photos for a tax assessment. I would be part of a team of drivers and together we would capture photos of the entire city of Detroit for a tax assessment. The cameras fired every 15 feet, so while driving at 20 MPH you just heard a rhythmic "Click, Click, Click" as the cameras captured a forward and either left of right image(depending on if it was a one way street). We were all trained to drive in a specific way and use the maps given to us to gather this data and sent on our way. I had my van, my maps, my model 1911 .45 ACP pistol and some body armor and medical supplies along with me.*Detroit is not a good place to drive around with cameras mounted on a mini van*



It looked like this, like a war zone. I was 2 years from my 2nd tour to Iraq. First in Baghdad, second to Basra. Detroit looked in some ways.....worse. I was back home in the US from a warzone, and I was in a city in the US that looked like a warzone.



However, I was motivated and quickly became the best driver, gathering the most photos.(I poo poo excellence)

Detroit was jacked up looking, I enjoyed it because I was carrying a gun and wearing body armor and it kind of took me back to Iraq in a way.

Gratiot AVE, Zombieland.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0SkVkC0JQg

We were staying in a hotel just outside of Detroit, in Allenpark MI. There was a bar by the hotel called "White Rhino", I became a regular there, just going to drink after work and shoot the S*** with people. One night while doing just this I was sitting at the bar and approached by an older woman, nice looking, brunette, slender and very aggressive. She invited me after some brief conversation to join her at her table. Where I was introduced to a gentleman aprox my age, and an older gentleman. This woman was all over the older gentleman, so I assumed it to be her husband. Myself and the other younger man had a quick talk of our confusion(are they swingers, what the f*** is happening right now, etc..) but it was short lived. She was a predator, and had made her selection of prey....It was me.

She left the table for a time leaving us 3 gents in an awkward spot, then she approached me grabbed my shoulder softly, leaned in close to my ear and in a loud whisper asked me to walk with her to the gas station so she could by cigarettes. I agreed, she wanted an easy task so yes i will walk with you to the gas station to buy cigarettes. Things escalated greatly following this. Once we got outside of the bar, she told me the older man, who I thought was her husband, was creepy. She needed me to walk her home after buying the cigarettes. She was adamant on the fact that "I will not have sex with you". I was in gentlemen mode, that was fine, I would walk her home I want nothing for this. We step off, we walk next door to the gas station and she buys some smokes. We then step off again towards her house which is a neighborhood right by the bar. I am drunk, I lose my sense of direction as I am focused on conversation and observation of this woman, and she is very nice to look at by now.

After a pretty long walk, we arrive to her house she announces this to me, By now I have to pee, like really bad. I ask her if I could use the bathroom in her house, and thats when things got weird(in a good way, sort of). She said I could, but she would have to frisk me first, she grabbed my arm and pulled me to the side of her house, ordered me to put my hands up and spread my legs, pushed me against the wall and kicked my legs further apart than what was comfortable. She then frisked me, spending a large part of the time on my crotch. When she was satisfied I was ok, she said go ahead and pee here. She stood with her body pressed behind me directly and still holding me as I did just that. I had passed some strange ritual I did not even know, for next after I finished and zipped up she again grabbed me and led me to the front door than a threat.(My little girls are sleeping in the living room, do not look at them, just go upstairs). I said ok and did just that. She unlocked the door and we entered her home, I did not look at her children as we went inside from my peripheral vision i saw them sleeping on a sofabed in the living room.

She told me nothing but truth, and she was crazy as hell(It turned me on). She led me by the hand to a narrow staircase to her bedroom, when we got there she kind of tossed me into it. Like I just entered a black widows nest, and I had! The room was filthy and cluttered,(handcuffs on the nightstand, dirty laundry all over the floor, i also observed bullets all over her nightstand) after she got distance from me her first course of action was to pick up a rifle from a corner of clutter. I recognized it immediately as a Ruger 10/22, she picked it up, and a 25rnd hotlips magazine. She snapped the magazine in and chambered a round and again recounted in a different form, If I do anything out of line I will kill you. Somehow by this point, I had one goal, I wanted her really really bad.

Things cooled down in the course of seconds, I do not recall how, but we end up on her bed with her facing me and me facing her, with very little space, we are touching. She takes off her top, I take it all in. She has a Tatt on her left side I remember but will not disclose. Best sex of my life, until I met my wife. I was arrested after this hookup and im going to do a part 2.

13Pandora13 posted:

You probably deserve to be arrested for referring to another human being as "a piece of strange" if nothing else.

Nobody gives a gently caress about your gross humblebrag sexual exploits and you're no Mark Z. Danielewski. Lurk more, post less.

corgski posted:

Hi op we can say gently caress here, in fact it’s encouraged.

kntfkr posted:

HOUSE OF LEAVES FUCKIN SUCKS

fningnewguy posted:

13Pandora13 posted:

You probably deserve to be arrested for referring to another human being as "a piece of strange" if nothing else.

jarofpiss posted:

op i liked the part of the post where you saw titties

13Pandora13 posted:

It was good enough for OP to write really bad fanfic of it.

fningnewguy posted:

Ok it was a bad post, ill summarize part 2 quickly. Literally A Person, I'm sorry I failed you. Whoever asked about the utility belt, that is a tourniquet and the part you asked about is the windlass used to tighten it.

After the one night stand, I went home the next day for a couple of weeks because we got a break. When I got back to Allen Park I went to the White Rhino that night with the hopes to see this woman again. I got bombed, and tried to walk to her house. I got lost, thought I had found her house and began to toss pebbles at the window I thought was hers. I don't know if it was her house or not. No one came to the window, but in short time two cop cars appeared to my left and right driving down the road towards me with no headlights on.

I was detained, and cuffed. I knew this woman was a cop so I told them I knew her and described her and her tatt and they laughed...alot. They then put me in the back of a police car and drove me to my hotel. So not actually arrested just detained, never saw the woman again. However, I did have a conversation with this guy at the White Rhino about this woman, he said he had also done the dirty with her, I told him I raw dogged her, he told me to get an AIDS test. I'm good, no AIDS.

fningnewguy posted:

I was detained, and cuffed. I knew this woman was a cop so I told them I knew her and described her and her tatt and they laughed...alot. They then put me in the back of a police car and drove me to my hotel. So not actually arrested just detained,

fningnewguy posted:

Detroit was jacked up looking, I enjoyed it because I was carrying a gun and wearing body armor and it kind of took me back to Iraq in a way.

The Scientist posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GsfAn4ejg1o

fningnewguy posted:

Ok it was a bad post, ill summarize part 2 quickly. Literally A Person, I'm sorry I failed you. Whoever asked about the utility belt, that is a tourniquet and the part you asked about is the windlass used to tighten it.

After the one night stand, I went home the next day for a couple of weeks because we got a break. When I got back to Allen Park I went to the White Rhino that night with the hopes to see this woman again. I got bombed, and tried to walk to her house. I got lost, thought I had found her house and began to toss pebbles at the window I thought was hers. I don't know if it was her house or not. No one came to the window, but in short time two cop cars appeared to my left and right driving down the road towards me with no headlights on.

I was detained, and cuffed. I knew this woman was a cop so I told them I knew her and described her and her tatt and they laughed...alot. They then put me in the back of a police car and drove me to my hotel. So not actually arrested just detained, never saw the woman again. However, I did have a conversation with this guy at the White Rhino about this woman, he said he had also done the dirty with her, I told him I raw dogged her, he told me to get an AIDS test. I'm good, no AIDS.

Escape From Noise posted:

I didn't read the second part. Did op drop some curses? We doing curses now? That seems pretty edgy, IDK.

Escape From Noise posted:

I got arrested for going for seconds on an Old Country Buffet AMA

Literally A Person posted:

Mash potato or baked?

Spinz posted:

Also I do not have Aids

Spinz posted:

Also I do not have Aids