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Breed it, suckers
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Jun 19, 2021 18:13
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I have kids, safe in my imagination. They don't even have names and its cool *goes back to playing videogames and watching porn and smoking drugs*
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Jun 19, 2021 18:45
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I had sex last night.  With my girlfriend. SEX!
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Jun 19, 2021 18:51
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I'm constantly broke and barely know how to have a successful life. i still haven't got a career down. some people end up making babies and it turns their life and meaning around. I'll never find out. also, i have the belief of "i don't want to have kids unless I'm rich" coupled with the belief of "i've always hated rich kids". I'm surprised people don't go the usual angle i go with this. "boomers messed it up for the future; even college graduates can't get a decent job or home nowadays. it'll only get worse" and talk of climate change, rapid species extinctions, overfishing, deforestation, the whole planet is DOOMED and we'll all be dead by 2048, so why waste your remaining years funding children that will have their own struggles in the coming years. i don't even like people, but i do find the watching of innocent children learning new things to be amusing. then again, same goes for animals; similar traits. i like petting puppies and shaking paws, but i don't feel the need to own one 24/7/365. nor do i want to spend my money on visits to the vet every time a curious animal does something stupid. or become attached when they die. i already have a niece and nephew i ignore, anyhow. vasectomies are the way to go.
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Jun 19, 2021 18:52
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Years of hard work, good luck, and doing the opposite of what goons say has gotten me to the position of Keystone Breeder. My beautiful, multi-racial, ambidextrous children will take all the spots at the elite pre-k and after school programs you spent weeks applying to. Invariably, when women connect me with my issue, the look me in the eye, grab my elbow and say "you make good babies". At least once a week a coworker, ex, or old friend will 'just check in' and "joke" that I'm their back-up - could I just cum in an envelope and send it in the mail? She tells me her ex had a list of "fundamental questions" about the fate of humanity and existential crises to answer before he would consider it, but she doesn't have that kind of time, she needs one right now. They send me pictures, I can barely keep track of them now always something bent over like - 'don't I look hot? Why won't he breed me?' An act of charity with a struggling lesbian couple, uninterested in all the rigmarole of adoption; has put my services in such heavy demand in the pacific northwest that I'm thinking about charging a fee and opening a clinic but I'm not sure I'm ready to turn my passion into my work. Basically tho OP is right you are probably a lot happier than I am.
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Jun 19, 2021 19:11
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Lol I had a child let that sink in everyone by you’re not having children the Derpies way of life will live on
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Jun 19, 2021 19:14
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Not gonna lie though, making the babies is the best part
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Jun 19, 2021 19:38
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Derpies posted:Lol I had a child let that sink in everyone by you’re not having children the Derpies way of life will live on Making kids isn't the hard part.
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Jun 19, 2021 19:52
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Derpies posted:Lol I had a child let that sink in everyone by you’re not having children the Derpies way of life will live on Dude are you drunk
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Jun 19, 2021 23:27
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I hosed uterus
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Jun 19, 2021 23:35
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Songbearer posted:*picks u up in godly hand and places u by someone* Ah, the cow. A strong and noble beast.
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Jun 20, 2021 00:10
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Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:I hosed uterus I'm not sure that's how it's supposed to go....
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Jun 20, 2021 00:12
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All these young parents like to give their kids "unique" names like Hunter or Gunnar or some regular name but it's spelled all hosed up and has a bunch of Ys and Ks in it. But they're all cowards because if they were really interested in cool names there'd be kids with names like RoboCop or Silo Explosion or Doombringer and poo poo like that.
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Jun 20, 2021 02:02
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Have you met my son Slabdragger the Person not the Band?
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Jun 20, 2021 02:24
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CPL593H posted:All these young parents like to give their kids "unique" names like Hunter or Gunnar or some regular name but it's spelled all hosed up and has a bunch of Ys and Ks in it. But they're all cowards because if they were really interested in cool names there'd be kids with names like RoboCop or Silo Explosion or Doombringer and poo poo like that. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reality_Winner
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Jun 20, 2021 02:27
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Oh I can do better. https://www.npr.org/2019/06/21/734839666/dr-marijuana-pepsi-wont-change-her-name-to-make-other-people-happy
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Jun 20, 2021 02:29
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Songbearer posted:*picks u up in godly hand and places u by someone* *eats u for snack* *poops u out and throws it*
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Jun 20, 2021 03:09
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Derpies posted:Lol I had a child let that sink in everyone by you’re not having children the Derpies way of life will live on That's why we don't have children. The world is no place to raise a child.
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Jun 20, 2021 03:42
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If I have another kid I’m going to have Branson Reese from the rude tales of magic podcast name it
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Jun 20, 2021 06:01
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Werd a 3 o v thread about breeding. Gotta love a throwback. FYI when I masturbate I think about getting my wife knocked up everytime. No kids yet but if it happens whatever. I'd post a shrug emoji but don't know how. Life is good bad and everything in between. Live laugh love? Nah fight gently caress and maybe procreate. Baby.
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Jun 20, 2021 06:08
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Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:I hosed uterus This post is serious, not a joke: One time after a breakup in the early-mid 2000s I was pretty depressed and desperate. I was even responding to Craigslist lady ads etc. So this woman posts about wanting someone with a long enough dick to break through her cervix - mind you, she stated she had a kid etc. She needed someone with ample dick to perform the task, previous partners capable etc. Bananas don't get me wrong but she was attractive and no strings attached. I asked for more info. Turns out the lady was an elected (and horny) official from a town nearby in the state I live in. Too hot to handle obviously but I wonder what would have happened if I had shown. Emails and texts from gov accounts exist, so if I can find them I'm sure someone else found them. Pop the cervix gentlemen.
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Jun 20, 2021 06:18
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no pubes yet sorry posted:This post is serious, not a joke: That's a lot of words to say you had a dick up to the task. What a stud.
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Jun 20, 2021 06:22
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Duck and Cover posted:That's a lot of words to say you had a dick up to the task. What a stud. I tried to stay away from that, it was just such an outlandish thing and I think, in retrospect a fine post.
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Jun 20, 2021 06:24
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no pubes yet sorry posted:I tried to stay away from that, it was just such an outlandish thing and I think, in retrospect a fine post. Yeah but my small penis self couldn't resist the low hanging fruit. Although I suppose you didn't make it clear if it was low hanging.
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Jun 20, 2021 06:28
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Duck and Cover posted:Yeah but my small penis self couldn't resist the low hanging fruit. Although I suppose you didn't make it clear if it was low hanging. A tree branch, without fruit, clinging to the thread title.
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Jun 20, 2021 06:30
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Wrong thread oops
Spinz fucked around with this message at 07:00 on Jun 20, 2021 |
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Jun 20, 2021 06:48
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No. 6 posted:I've no idea how anyone reads what I said as belittling? Well see thats why I'm telling you. Your explanation comes across as pretentious as hell. Specifically: "For me, the topic of procreation is a conversation without 'right' answers but it's important that my partner at least consider these questions. It demonstrates ability to consider the greater impact of our actions. She told me she doesn't really think about these things and made clear that she feels it's her right and doesn't wish to discuss the nuanced ethics. I truly believe she would make a lovely, caring, and warm parent. So why did I still have an issue? I need a partner with which I can develop a base fidelity. Having a lackadaisical towards ethics creates a conflict with that connection. This would be true for any future relationships." It seems you're suggesting that this ex-partner was unable to understand the consequences of her actions because she didn't want to have a nuanced ethical discussion about the carbon footprint of bearing a child. Maybe she just didn't want to discuss someone who holds ideas of "ethical fidelity" in such high regard. Truth be told, people's moral compasses change throughout their lives. Its entirely possible this person didn't have a lackadaisical attitude towards the decision, but had simply previously made up their mind on wanting children. I think the part about needing to develop a base fidelity with your partner is the bit that rubs me the wrong way. Its because you are using the ethical definition of fidelity, which is an adherence to specific ethical standards that in this case you've defined. Its different from say, the fidelity expected from a marriage. You need your partner to think like you. That's kind of a pretentious attitude because it suggest your framing and interpretation of the world is the superior one, and anyone unwilling to engage in ethical discussion must be lazy or ethically inferior. Anyways gently caress having kids. I can now go out and roll coal on weekends and still feel morally superior to child havers because my F-350 wont come close to producing as much carbon as young Layklynn will throughout her lifetime.
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Jun 20, 2021 09:08
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This thread is now filled with pages and pages of posts that are direct evidence contradicting its title.
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Jun 20, 2021 09:11
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LanceHunter posted:This thread is now filled with pages and pages of posts that are direct evidence contradicting its title. You saw who the OP was right ?
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Jun 20, 2021 09:18
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CPL593H posted:All these young parents like to give their kids "unique" names like Hunter or Gunnar or some regular name but it's spelled all hosed up and has a bunch of Ys and Ks in it. But they're all cowards because if they were really interested in cool names there'd be kids with names like RoboCop or Silo Explosion or Doombringer and poo poo like that. drat we're getting close to goonar is what I'm hearing
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Jun 20, 2021 09:40
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Three Olives posted:https://msutoday.msu.edu/news/2021/childfree-adults Think I just made another one, fellas heh 
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Jun 20, 2021 11:24
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LanceHunter posted:This thread is now filled with pages and pages of posts that are direct evidence contradicting its title. Children or no, I don't think that The Something Awful Forums are the best place if you looking for people that are happy or well adjusted. Son of Rodney posted:drat we're getting close to goonar is what I'm hearing "These are my kids Goonar, Grover, and Goaste."
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Jun 20, 2021 21:34
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| # ? Jun 10, 2024 05:03 |
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Poohs Packin posted:Well see thats why I'm telling you. Your explanation comes across as pretentious as hell. Specifically: What a fuckin pack of uncool jokers.
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Jun 21, 2021 01:12
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