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regardless the "lol trap" joke is pretty lovely e: one hell of a page snype! update on previous page, featuring one (1) unfortunate "joke"
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Mar 28, 2020 01:10
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.png)   Hello, Sain. I'm back...to put an end to you and your skirt-chasing. Once and for all! How many statboosters did she take!?  *Since this is scripted, Sain is left at 1 HP* Now. For the final blow! No, w-wait, Lyn! LYN!! AHHHH-- Sain? Sain! Are you all right?Ah! Lady Lyndis! Please! Have mercy!! SPARE MEEEEEEE!What? Sain... What are you saying?Ahh...ahhh... Ly... L-Lyn...? You... You aren't...Sain, you were knocked unconscious by Farina. You've been out for a while now...Oh...whew... It... It was all just a...So it was all a dream! That's why almost everyone suddenly demoted!  Too bad there's no Sain's Nightmare hack. Would've made a good successor to Matthew's Nightmare. Ah! The reunion! I-Is it...over?Yes.Oh... Ulp... K-Kent! .... My apologies, Lady Lyndis... But might Sain and I have a word in private?Of course.Thank you, milady.*Lyn leaves* Sain...Y-Yes, Kent? Why such a severe expression?Don't feign ignorance with me. What did you think you were doing out there? I told you to restrain yourself, did I not?B-But...in the presence of such beauty, how could I ever--Enough! In the future, at least try to control yourself! You are a disgrace to the knights of Caelin! I have nothing more to say to you. *leaves*Ahh....    That's crazy, Darec! Crazy! You want to go there? Of all places, man...have you lost your mind?! But the stone--!I'm sorry. I may be a treasure hunter like you, but I'm no fool. To accompany you there would be suicide!Bah! *leaves*...C-Crazy old man. What is he thinking? The old man is not a hapless villager!?   I won't let you down. Even if it kills me, I'll find that stone yet! ... ... ... ... ... Now, if only I could find someone to help...  Kent was just mad, that's all. But... I thought for sure, during the reunion, I... No... No more doubts! The great Lord Athos said I'd get married! I have nothing to worry about! I'll find my own darling wife, someday! B-But... H-How could I possibly choose JUST one?! Every woman I've met is so enchanting, I...! Oh, I'll never get married at this rate... Hmm... Kid sounds desperate. Perhaps...if I play my cards right...  Gaah! W-Who--Having trouble finding a girl, eh?W-Whoah... How did you know?It was pretty obvious from your yelling... Do you always talk so loudly to yourself?I--Ah, bother. You're just lucky I overheard you!L-Lucky? If anything, I'd say this is rather embarrassing!Do you want a girl or not? 'Cuz if you do, I could help ya!Err...Don't give me that look! Back in my day, I was quite the lady charmer, see...and I know some great ways to catch a lady's eyes. In fact, I think I know a way that would suit you.Ah, really?! GOod sir, pray tell me! I'll do anything! Anything!(He really IS desperate.) Anything? Then will you risk your life?My life? Ha! A knight is always prepared to lay down his life for his liege and his honor! And I say, the pursuit of love is no less important! I would face a thousand deaths for its cause, nay--a thousand thousands!That's called a million  Hm, good. I like that spirit! Now...if you truly want to win a girl's heart...Yes?You must join me on a quest!A...quest?To find a VERY special treasure!Treasure?Aye! I'm a treasure hunter, see. I've been traveling all my life, scouring the land for Elibe's rarest gems. But before I can die in peace, I must find...one more treasure. The Stone of Zagaren?The Stone of Zagaren! An enormous purple gem, shaped like the East Star... A gem so lovely in appearance, it's said to captivate the heart of every maiden who ever looks upon it!Aaaah. How interesting!It gets better! The gem's rumored to be guarded by evil spirits--You mean g-ghosts?Pfft. Like those even exist. It's just some cheap excuse for why no one's ever come out of the place alive... Exhilerating [sic] thought, no?No  Er... I suppose... It certainly sounds dangerous!Dangerous? Bah! "Challenging" is the word! Nothing like a good ol' challenge to fire up the blood! Heck, the only thing keeping me from that cave now is...well...I need backup.You don't mean...Aye! I need your help! My health just ain't what it used to be, son... I could really use the strength of a knight like you!Uh--And! If we find the gem, she's all yours!W-What?!That's right! If you accompany me, you could get your hands on one of the RAREST gems in Elibe! Now there's something that's bound to impress your girl, eh?Y-Yes, of course... But what of you? Don't you want--The stone? Hah! For me, it's all about the hunt, the thrill of discovery! A mere glimpse of the stone is enough for me. Besides, we-- I... It's been my lifelong dream to find this stone. So please... Will you aid me in my quest?..... As long as it's just for a couple days... Yes, I'll go! I'll do it!Excellent! The name's Darec Corundum! Treasure hunter extraordinaire! Darec is an anagram of Cedar.Sain of the Caelin Knights! Well met, Sir Corundum!Sir? Bah! Call me Darec.I don't know how our "abilities" will help with treasure hunting, but I guess we'll see  Death Dialogue posted:
1234567890num fucked around with this message at 17:01 on Apr 25, 2020 |
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Apr 3, 2020 10:39
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  Stone of Zagaren.  the precise theoretical location of the stone. In three days travel, the pair arrive at the cave entrance, eager to discover the priceless legendary treasure within.      I can't tell you how much it pleased me to hear of the plains. Lyn... When you return to Sacae, please visit my tribe. The Kutalah will welcome you as a guest of honor.I could've sworn it's Kutolah, but  Thank you, Rath. I'll take you up on that offer one day. I swear it.*Rath leaves*   Yup. We're gonna spend a few more days in Caelin before we head out. Wil promised he'd show me around town. Heehee.  Yes. I wish I could stay longer, but I have duties to attend to....Of course. We understand....By the way, is Sain well? I haven't seen him since yesterday........ About that... Sain's not here. He left for Bern.Bern? But why?I'm not sure. All he left was this note... I'll be back before you know it! Your faithful knight, Sain I know this is Sain...but...running off to Bern like this? I'd never expect him to do something this impulsive....My apologies, milady. Perhaps I should not have scolded him so harshly yesterday.Don't beat yourself for it, Kent. You know Sain. Nothing can keep his spirits down for too long.Ye-- Lady Lyndis! Commander Kent! Attack?! By who?We-- Urgh!  You are...just as beautiful as they say...What? Who are you? Explain yourself!Now, now. No need to get so riled up, my dear. It doesn't suit your...fair complexion. I'm not here to harm anyone. So long as you and all your lady friends come with me!What? No way! Who do you think you are?!If that's how you want to play, my dear... Men! Surround them all! Y-You!Now come along now, darling. Or I'll command my army to go on a killing spree. This is your...final warning.Lady Lyndis, stand back. Allow me to take care of this madman!Hahaha! You? You think you can defeat me? Hahahaha! Go to sleep, knight. Bother me no more.*Screen flashes* Ugh... *collapses*Sleep staff!  Kent!In fact... Everyone should go to sleep! That would make it all a lot easier.*Screen flashes again* Soldiers! Bring the women. Leave the men. We'll let the fools come to us...if they dare. Hahahahaha!    ..... Will you not look me in the eye?Emily might have a new portrait, but I'm just going to reuse her old one  ...... If this is what you truly desire... So be it......But... The soldier's life is no glorified path... Please. Give this some thought befo--You know I have.But Emily...I made an oath to myself, seven years ago. I will stand by my word. I am no coward like you.......Good bye, Father. May we never meet again. *leaves*............ My dear child... Forgive me.   You totally look like a real soldier now! Nellie's right! That's your mother's armor, isn't it?....... Sorry. I'm not in the mood to talk. Will you two write me?Every day, Emmy.Yeah, yeah! But do you really have to-- Eek! Who's that?!  Never thought I'd step foot in this place again. And would ya look at that. Three little girls ripe for the taking.Scum! If you want a lance through the face, come try me!Oh? How about your friends? I suppose we'll go nab them instead.Eeep!Shana, Nellie! Get out of here! I've got this!Ahh... O-Okay!Be careful, Emmy!*Nellie and Shana flees* Bandit scum... You picked the wrong day to show. I'm in a bad mood!You're a fiesty [sic] one, aren't ya...Die! You tried, Emily. You tried. Aghhh! *collapses*Huh... All bark and no bite.  So, did you...find...any more lassies?Got me one right here. There were two other village girls, but they got away.Village...girls, you say? Pfft. Small fry... Tis one...will do... Tell the men...we're warping...back to Bern...Right....I'll...warp this girl there... first... Hrrrk... Uuuh. So... tired... I've reached...my limit I'm afraid... Too much magic...leaves...my body...weak...You overexerted yourself again?! What's wrong with you? You're supposed to be a powerful druid!There...is a difference...between magical adeptness...and physical fortitude... I can...cast spells of...frightening power...but my body...is frail... I was...the runt of my family, you know... Everyone picked on me...even my dearest mother...she never hugged me once......You really think I care? We've got to get out of here! Quick, cast your warp spell and get us to base!No... No more...power... I warped...all those soldiers in the castle...back to Bern... I cant warp...anymore... hrrrrk. You must...carry me...WHAT? You're saying we have to run all the way back?! That will take three days! At least!I am...so tired... Good night... *snoozes*Oh good, I almost forgot that this was supposed to be a comedic hack. And Warp/Rewarp staff doesn't work like that, dammit! Boss? BOSS! Blast it, he passed out! Guess we'll just have to do it the old fashioned way. C'mon, grab the boss and run for the hills! We don't know how long that sleep spell he cast on 'em Caelin knights will last! Tch. Seriously. For a druid of his calibur [sic], this guy's pathetic...  My shoe fell off! I can't run! Graah, curses!! It's not fair! I should've helped ransack Castle Caelin! Then I would've been back at the base by now! ......Gaah! What the--! *This being a scripted battle, a crit leaves the bandit at 1 HP* Urgh...You said Castle Caelin was ransacked... Explain.H-Hey! I... whoah! No need to point that thing at my face! I'll talk, I'll talk!........Uh, well, you see... Boss wanted to collect all the strongest, pretty women in Elibe, so he can brainwash 'em and form an unstoppable army of women. Boss said with an army of women on his side, he'd finally be king of the world... That's why he invaded the castle, and that's all I really know! I swear!...!! Lyn... ...And the men?What? You mean the men in the castle...? Like I said, my boss is only interested in the women. He probably put all the guys to sleep with his magic or somethin'.Where did your boss go?Uh...well, I'm not really supposta--.....Gaaaah! O-Okay, okay! I'll help ya! I'll lead you there! Please spare my life!! Please, I'm beggin' ya!...First, to Castle Caelin. We'll gather our forces and give chase.Well things took quite a dark turn.  Let's ignore that and get back to our treasure hunt!    According to my investigations, the stone's hidden somewhere in this cave!Whoah. It looks pretty dark in there, wouldn't you say?Precisely why I brought these torches! We can fuel 'em with this whisky here.With...whisky?You heard right. Turns out this whisky's really strong stuff! I tried drinkin' it once...whooo, boy. Never again. Anyway, about that cave... Let's enter it, shall we?Of course! What are we waiting for?Got a Whisky. ...Looks like we're going to have Darkness of War  *They both go into the cave*  T-This cave...it's so...Desolate? No, that's not the word...but there's something different about this cave. Huh. What an eery [sic] feeling.I don't get it. How could a precious treasure wind up in such a dreary place as this!Old folktales claim the stone was an engagement gift, hidden here more than six hundred years ago... A gift intended for none other than the lovely Princess Tamero of Bern!Princess who?Tamero. She was the most stunning woman of her time. Or so the stories say. Legend has it that everywhere she went, men would gape in awe, and even lose conciousness at the sight of her beauty.Is that so!It gets better. As an only child, she was the sole heir to the Kingdom of Bern. Beauty, power, riches, brains... She had it all. Needless to say, every eligible prince and noble in Elibe sought her hand...but it was Lord Zagaren who won her heart, in the end.Zagaren? You mean...Yes, THAT Zagaren. At the time, he was the Etrurian mage general, and a reknown [sic] scholar to boot. Tamero was sent to Etruria to study magic under his tutalage [sic]. Eventually, Zagaren proposed, and presented Tamero with the most beautiful stone... The gem was so dazzling and flawlessly cut, that it was said to rival even Tamero in beauty--The stone of Zagaren?What do you think? Anyway, the offered stone was so breath-taking, Tamero couldn't help but accept Zagaren's proposal. She immediately arranged for a convoy to return to Bern, so she could ask her mother, Queen of Bern, to bless their marriage. But on the way back home... Powerful bandits intercepted the convoy and seized the stone, burning everything, and everyone, in their way... No one was spared...the princess died in the flames.No! That can't be!Poor Zagaren...once considered the luckiest man in the world...no one suffered more that day than he... When news of the tragedy reached Etruria, the normally cool-headed sage lost himself in his emotions. That very hour, he left Etruria in search of his fiance's killers. Somehow, he tracked down every single bandit involved in the attack...executed them all, personally. Zagaren even managed to recover the priceless gem he'd given Tamero...but the poor man couldn't bring himself to look upon the stone without remembering his beloved, and how he had failed her...so he hid it away in this cave. Folklore says the spirits of the bandits who killed Tamero guard the stone to this very day, as punishment for their actions.Poor Zagaren... To lose the very love of his life! That could kill any man thousands of times over!...Indeed. But enough chit chat. To the stone!Goddamn, that's a lot of  . And we're not even done yet! .......Oy, Sain! What's the hold up, son?Well...I was just thinking... What if something terrible happens in Caelin while I'm gone?! Now that I'm here, I won't be able to protect Lady Ly--Pfft. You're still worried about that? Relaaax. Like I said, you'll be back in Caelin before you know it!.....Besides, there are other knights in Castle Caelin, are there not? I'm sure they're competent enough to guard Lady Lyndis in your absence....I suppose you're right...'Course I am! Now c'mon. Let's go! Uh, Darec? A-Are you sure we haven't been here before?Oh ho! What's this? Doubting my skills as a treasure hunter, are you?Well, I--Believe me! This has to be the way! It just...fells right!If you say so...  What fools... Ha, that must be it! We found it, boy! And not a single "spirit" in sight. I knew those legends were all hot air! W-What?!Well, darn... I spoke too soon.Fools! This stone's been ours for six hundred years... If you've come to take it from us, you will die. Just as the men before you!*Walls appear around the men*  No! HECK NO! This must all be an act! Let's see if this hoax can stand up to my bow! Cheater! Blast! My arrows! They do...nothing?!It really is a ghost!Now...you...will...perish!W-wait! T-That voice... Could it b-be?What are you babbling about, boy?!T-That voice...it's the voice of a-- WHAT! A girl?!Women can be ruthless bandits too! Gender equality! Oooooh! My heart! I'm sorry, Darec, but she's far too lovely! I...I can't lift a weapon against her!WHAT?! NO! Y-You can't be serious! Of all times, boy, WHY NOW?! This seems bad, but...  We get 2 whole Serenades  Boy, get back here! What in the blazes do you think you're doing?!Ah! My lady! What an exquisite creature you are indeed! ...W-W-Whaat?Your hair, as white and pure as the freshest Illian snows! And yet your gaze melts my heart like a million suns!Wha? W-What IS this? I...I-I'm so flustered... Ahh... *disappears*W-Whoah! She vanished!Heh. What do you know... There may be hope yet! Keep doing what you're doing, Sain! And head for that shrine! GO! FINALLY, some gameplay! Which we'll cover next update. 1234567890num fucked around with this message at 14:48 on Apr 9, 2020 |
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Apr 8, 2020 16:21
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1234567890num posted:
How nice of Sain to tell them that he isn't actually there. quote:ghost: What fools... Is this meant to have the emoticon?quote:So how are you going to take that wall down? Is Sain going to charm a wall? Maybe it'd be more receptive...
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Apr 8, 2020 18:21
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Should be fixed now. There's just so loving many
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Apr 9, 2020 14:49
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Sain  I'm 50/50 on him saving the day in the end, or joining up with the villain 
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Apr 12, 2020 16:29
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Sorry to jump in here but I already checked with the Fire Emblem thread in Games and it feels like this might be a more focused discussion area for this. I'm really interested in learning how to play romhacks on an actual gameboy advance, owning to my light sensitivity making most screens painful to look at for very long. The pre-backlight GBA is perfectly comfortable, however, and I'm a fan of Fire Emblem, so any way to get more games to play on that system is good by me. You've covered several in this thread, is there somewhere I can go to download them? Maybe learn how to use a flashcart? Any tips on how to get started would be really appreciated!
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Apr 12, 2020 17:42
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Don't worry, we can certainly talk about romhacks and the playing thereof, in the romhack thread. I do believe all the ones i've played except Restoration Queen have threads at fe universe which should have the latest version of the patch. Edit: grabbed download links for Crimson Arm, Road to Ruin, Awful Emblem. You'll need a patcher like nups and a rom of whichever game the patch is for, which we can't supply because  . Crimson Arm and Road to Ruin need FE7/Blazing Sword roms, Awful Emblem (and most other modern hacks) FE8/Sacred Stones.I can't help you with GBA flashcarts specifically, never had one myself. But if it's anything like the ones for the DS, it's basically a game cartridge with a card slot. You put your patched roms in a specifically named folder on a micro-sd card (you'll need to check the documentation for the cart you have for specifics) and put it in the cart, then shove that in the console like any regular game and it'll pop up some kind of menu which is probably mostly self-explanatory. Any decent seller probably has a guide for how to make the thing work if there's anything more complicated involved. e: if you do have a "regular" screen that works for you, like an older tv or something, it might also be worth looking into a Raspberry Pi setup. That will let you emulate a lot of stuff other than gba, too. You might need an adapter or weird cable shenanigans to hook it up, though. vilkacis fucked around with this message at 19:14 on Apr 12, 2020 |
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Apr 12, 2020 18:48
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Thanks! That's a great way to get started! I'm looking into some of those options now, glad I should be able to play a bunch more Fire Emblem. Maybe I can even make my own one day. And yeah, I do have a special transflexive screen I use for work that doesn't bother my eyes much, it's just kind of a jury-rigged setup that's delicate and expensive, so it doesn't afford me the flexibility that the GBA does. Plus not everything looks right on it (it only does black and white, so a lot of stuff is hard to see), and when I do use it for entertainment it's usually TV, movies, or new games, since it's the only way I can comfortably experience those. Thanks again!
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Apr 12, 2020 19:11
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No problem, and good luck! I edited in download links for the games i played here above so you can grab them directly if you want, but the threads at FEU will have more info if you want it. Edit again: FE builder is a great, user friendly tool if you want to start looking into making your own hack. vilkacis fucked around with this message at 19:19 on Apr 12, 2020 |
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Apr 12, 2020 19:16
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 The part where Darec has an Iron Rune would be worrying if we didn't also have one from the castle (even though we got it from a dream). We've seen these items before (Red Wine=Elixir, Whisky=Torch), but First Aid is new.  Ah, Mend. Got it. I completely forgot it exists for the rest of the chapter   Darec's Con is barely enough to get weighed down by his bow  Anyway, since Darec's turn is already used up, we start chipping at the wall with Sain.[/i] Ah! I should practice reciting this poem I memorized a few days ago. If I repeat it aloud enough, perhaps my deliverance of its words will become more eloquent and filled with passion, like the very feelings that dwell inside my heart! Here it goes!.png) What the-- Oy! What do you think you're doing, son?P-Pardon?Are you flirting with the air? Or do you seriously believe those walls will collaspe [sic] at the senuous sound of your voice?...Yes?  Oh, no, no! I was merely practicing my--Practice later. We are in a life or death scenario, and I'm counting on your flowery words to get us out of this! Save your breath and leave the walls to me!Darec for walls, Sain for ghosts. Got it. .png) At least Darec is strong enough to instantly break the wall (and Cedar is nice enough to let people double it). ...Stay sharp, son. I'v [sic] got a sinking feeling we're not alone...Only one way to find out: Whisky! .png) Ah, Myrmidons. That's fine. Sain can stand in the doorway and let them come to us. .png) ...Wait... :  .png) Good thing both of our party member has Iron Rune. .png) Aaand they're gone. They're nowhere to be found, either. Guess we can only hit them on Enemy Phase. .png) Sain can rescue Darec and tank the double hits. He'll be fine. .png) .png) Well, at least he's alive and managed to "kill" the myrmidons We drop Darec and heal in the next turn. .png) (The wall is the one right next to Darec's portrait) Hmph. It seems our stealth approach has failed to take them down. No matter. Ladies, to me! Show these men no mercy! Eliminate them!.png) Thanks for the warning, Cedar. It's a bit late, but thanks anyway. (I'm going to use liberal savestates from now on). .png) Aaand there's a this guy. Sain still has Woo equipped, so he can't charm her for now. We do charm both her and the Valkyrie in Darec's range before moving on, though. The boss won't move, so let's not worry about her for now. .png) The bandits are all promoted and they'll do serious damage, about 10ish each. We're going to have to use each and every single one of our Red Wines (since I forgot about the First Aid). .png) Moving on... .png) .png) Darkness of War! .png) New plan: don't send Darec into the unknown. Or at least load state immediately afterwards. This must be a taste of how it feels to play Matthew's Nightmare. .png) This myrmidon doesn't move and has a Rune Sword, but Sain deals EXACTLY enough damage to kill it  .png) A lot of people have Killer weapons, so I'm REALLY glad I decided to keep the Iron Rune. .png) I'm not taking ~25% chance of dying. .png) It's kinda sad when a Horseslayer deals less damage than a Brave Axe or even just basic magic. .png) Case in point. .png) If only Darec can damage these Pegasus Knights... .png) Ghost Ghost bandits guarding an ancient gem. And they're all women... Whaaat? Oh, wait. Nevermind then .png) We saw this Valkyrie a few pictures ago. I completely forgot about it .png) And since I didn't use Whisky I didn't see this Myrmidon coming. Darec is left alive with 2 HP left, so all is well. .png) Moving onward... .png) And inward... .png) Dealing with this rear end in a top hat... .png) Having reinforcements catch up... You know, standard Fog/Darkness of War stuff. Including the part where you leave an enemy for later only for them to bite you back in the rear end (like this Nomad Trooper. .png) Also standard Fog of War stuff is enemies coming out from the unknown and killing a unit. .png)  Thank you, SainI know I have savestates, but this is still nice. .png) Jade Fierce leader of the ghost bandits. Guards the stone of Zagaren. Well, we're near the boss now. There's a Valkyrie with Thunder on her right, but we can ignore her safely. .png) That bow very strong. Two shots of it can kill Sain and Darec. .png) And her Wit is high enough to double Sain with the Brave Sword. So I guess it's a case of pick your poison. I don't know if Sain can handle 4 hits of Brave Sword, so bow it is. .png)  Hah! You seem surprised by my appearance. What did you expect? Monsters? Demons?Y-Yes... But instead, I behold a nymph, mystical and fair!A... W-What did you say?Truly, your beauty was a shock to me, oh fair one. But what a splendid surprise! I wouldn't have it any other way!You are a fool to flirt with death... You will gain nothing but an open grave.But--Enough banter. It's time for you to die!Ah!!.png) OUCH. At least Sain doubles her in return. .png) Only for the Valkyrie on her left to heal all but 2 of her HP .png) Loading the savestate and using whiskey instead... .png) The swordmaster on the left is entirely optional, but she has a Red Wine which I need. ...Or I thought I needed since I completely forgot about the First Aid .png) Oh well. .png) The healer Valkyrie has no tomes, but we still should deal with her first. Sain equip Serenade so he can counterattack Jade's bow. .png) Now that Jade can't heal, we can kill her  This ends the level, since the objective is Kill Boss.   When was the last time someone called me beautiful? I can't remember...How astonishing! To think the bandits who killed Tamero...were all women!And incredibly stunning women, nonetheless!... ... ... You really think us...stunning?Oh, milady! Even the dreary darkness of this cave cannot help but melt away in the light of your radiance! No ghost, no monster could ever have features so fair! Surely, you are a forest nymph, an angel from on high!Hmm. Angel... You know...when I was alive, I murdered many people. Innocent people. Women and children... I am hardly an angel, knight.Ah...But...thank you. Those were the first kind words we've heard...in a long time. The other men who came here treated us like monsters... But you. Your words have given us...happiness. ...Take the stone. Do what you will with it. I care not. It binds us no more. ...Farewell. I still don't know your name!And that's why you should pay attention to their stat page Hmmm. So this...is the Stone of Zagaren. It is...just as glorious as the legends say. Karen... Can you believe it? The stone of Zagaren... I have it in my hands. ... ... ... Well, sonny. Here's the stone, as promised. She's all yours.Wow, this... It's the most beautiful stone I've ever seen!What did I tell ya, huh?Thank you, Darec! I don't know what to say!Neither do I. Heck, without your help I'd probably be dead! Gives me the willies, just thinking about it... But enough of that. What do you say we get out of this cave, fast?I couldn't agree more! Warm sunlight and fresh air, here we come!  What made you decide to hand the stone over so easily to...THAT knight, of all people?Heh.I mean.... If he's desperate enough to hit on dead women like us--Precisely, Saril. Just imagine what Zagaren would say if he heard his precious little stone was in the hands of some lout like that. Hah! The sage is probably groveling in his grave right now... Hahahaha!Oh...Oh yes... Revenge is sweet...  I am in your debt... Thank you for helping me fulfill a lifelong dream.Nay! It is I who should be thanking you, Darec! Now I have the perfect gift to give to...to, uh... To the one I love!Isn't that like literally all women though? : Yes, yes. I wish you the best luck in winning over your girl's heart.With this stone, I shouldn't have any problem!Hmm, indeed... Well. Good day, Sir Sain. Perhaps we will meet again. *leaves*  Huh?! Lady Lyndis has been kidnapped!Rebecca and Fiora too!WHAT?!Fortunately, Rath was able to grab one of the men involved in this mess... This bandit is leading us to their main hideout right now.Still... What an odd coincidence that we'd run into you here--Pah! Coincidence or no, there are ladies in need of our rescuing! Quickly! We ride! Sain's cavalier sprite turns into a paladin's. I hope it's what I think it is  Your gallant knight, Sain, is on his way! Sain stats and equipment will now be reset in the next chapter. Oh, it's not a promotion Goodbye, White Wine. Your effects are not seen, but I'm sure you were useful. Maybe. Death Dialogue posted:
1234567890num fucked around with this message at 17:01 on Apr 25, 2020 |
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Apr 21, 2020 18:12
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I'm surprised the entire game isn't Skirt Chaser Mode.
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Apr 21, 2020 19:17
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Well this continues to be entertainingly dumb. Sain flirting with a wall and the bit where they give him the stone just out of spite were pretty good 
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Apr 21, 2020 21:40
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vilkacis posted:the bit where they give him the stone just out of spite were pretty good That was pretty amazing. It's not even like they used some kind of loophole to weasel out of the spell binding them to their task, they just literally decided, "You know what? gently caress this. I hated that guy anyway, so giving the stone away to this assclown will really piss him off."
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Apr 21, 2020 23:44
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    Ahhh! What a refreshing trip! Refreshing...you say...Why yes, Iskar. I haven't gotten this much sleep in years! Perhaps passing out when I did was for the best, eh?You're...joking...  How'd we...hah...make it back here in three...hah...nights? It should've taken...hah...much longer to-- *Screen flashes* Gwwwarrgh!Fool! No logical observations allowed! Or you'll...be shot!Lynched.What did you say, Iskar?Nothing, nothing.I thought so. Hey you!B-Boss?Round up the generals. Tell them to meet me in the throne room, immediately!Aye aye, Boss! *leaves*And you. Summon the men who helped me ransack Castle Caelin. Tell them to bring the prisoners...to me. I shall await them in the throne room as well.Got it, Boss! *leaves*Heh heh heh. Come, Iskar! Let's go to the throne room and wait for my underlings to do everything for me!Whatever you say, Boss...*They warp to the throne room*  Why the heck are we warping? We could've walke--Walked?! Rubbish, Iskar! As the main villian, [sic] I MUST warp every chance I-- G-Guh!Oh, for the love of... What now?T-T-That! It's a-- Gwwwaaaaaah!Boss?WAAAAH! THAT MIRROR! Why is there a MIRROR in here?!What d'ya mean? It's always been there. It was just covered wi--Cover it back up! NOW!Fine... *does just that*Ugh! THAT face! To be reminded it's mine...drives me mad!It's covered. Er...Boss? Are ya there?...That abominable... I loathe to look...Moping about your face again? Sheesh. You know, if you just led a more healthy life style, you'd look a lot less--ISKAR!What?You think this is a mere matter of health?!Well, isn't it?NO! I was born with this face! This hiddeous [sic] complexion.Yeah...so?So? SO?! Ha...hahahahaha! Cedar made a special smirk just for this line Why you--! ...Ngggh.What?Iskar, do...you... Do you know what I want most...in the whole world?Well that came out of nowhere.Just answer the question.You want...power.No!Forbidden knowledge?Not even close.A new face?Enough with the face jokes!Then what do you want?...... I want...a hug......What?A hug...from a woman. One with her hair tied up in a pony tail...that elegantly drifts with the wind...Oh my god... He's an incel!  Yeesh! You really do have a thing for girls with pony tails, don't ya--ISKAR! That is NOT the point!Oh really now?Hmphm! Just as I suspected. A simpleton like you could never understand...What?My sorrow.Sure...... I...just want to know what it feels like...to be wanted...to be held... Is that too much to ask?Definitely an incel    Ha! That's the problem, isn't it? One look at me, and people think I'm evil. It's this face! No one will even bother to look at me...unless...unless I use my power! So I MUST use it! With my magic, I'll make every woman in the world fall in love with me! Then I will have the last laugh! And I will finally be...happy! Hahahahahah!Cool story, bro....Did you say something, Iskar?Nothing, nothing.That's what I thought. Now where are those generals? They should've been here by now! Oh. OH NO. Ah, gentlemen! Your timing is impeccable! But of course! Would you expect any less from a man like me? (I love myself!) Heheheh. Sir Ebner. You've at last returned. Valter, Gheb, Narshen...my three generals. I've summoned you all here for a single purpose. So were your missions...sucessful? [sic]This is before the official translation named the Wyvern Lord Narcian.  Heh heh heh. I am Gheb! Failure is impossible!Indeed, Sir Ebner. We've brought back all the strongest, finest women we could find in Lycia! (And! This group just so happens to exclusively consist of playable female characters from FE7! Because having blatant plot holes will only make this hack better! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.) I even nabbed some Etrurian beauties along the way!The part in the brackets autoscrolls, by the way. Heheh. The ruse worked without a hitch, thanks to that potent sleep spell of yours.Heh heh heh. The spell derives its incredible might by draining the very quintessence of its caster. A small price to pay...for such perfect power, wouldn't you agree? Besides, those generic priests I captured had to be put to use somehow. Hey, Boss. Where did you get all those priests anyway? It's like half your army just showed up out of nowh--Don't interrupt, Iskar! Or you'll be shot--I mean, lynched! We're talking serious business here! Serious business! Got that, Iskar? This is serious business!Whatever.So, gentlemen. Back to...uh... What were we talking about again?............... Serious business?That's not helpful at all.The priests--Ah yes. Thank you, Iskar. As I was saying, those priests are quite expendable.But Sir Ebner... What of you? Did you find any...prize gems in Caelin?Ah, I'm glad you asked! Hey, generic bandit! Bring out the ladies from Caelin! Their hands and feet are still bound tight, so they won't be able to escape!Excellent work. You are dismissed.*The bandits leave* You!Meanies! Let us go!Unhand us!Gngh! Crazed idiot! You're gonna pay!Gentlemen, I've decided to grant you...your first reward for your services. Go ahead, take your pick. These girls are all quite...stunning, are they not?You wouldn't dare! All of you are no better than swine!Mmmm. That girl with the long cyan hair. I like the look of that one--No! Lady Lyndis...is mine. Take your choice of the other three.I'm pretty sure Fiora is the one with cyan hair, but Fine. I'll take the ginger-haired lass. She's got a wild look that makes her quite...irresistable. Heheheh. I'll very much enjoy watching the fire in her eyes slowly fade away--You! I'll never submit to a snake like you!Yes, resist...all the more fun to tame you!Well, well. Don't you have a pretty face... I'll have a lot of fun with you.Eep. Get away from me!Aren't you a treat for the eyes, heh heh heh. You're coming with me........ You will regret this. *Someone warps in*  Oh, it's Saul. Have you finally gone off the deep end?  ........Still troubled by your conscience, priest?.......Now, now. We made a deal. There's no reason to resist........As for you, I--Sir Ebner! Intruders!!! What?! Impossible! They weren't supposed to arrive this early!Uh, Boss. Isn't that a logical observation?That's not important right now! Generals, prepare the men and eliminate those curs! If tings get out of hand, you know...how to reach me.We just flip those three switches in the holding rooms, right?Precisely. However... Don't bother disturbing me unless it's an emergency! Are we clear?Heheheh. Of course.Help? Who needs that! Those scrawny maggots are no match for my smexiness!If you don't get that reference, you're luckier than me Wait... Boss? Why'd you install switches in the holding-- *Flash to white* Gwwwarrgh!Now is not the time to be logical! Nameless bandits! Prepare for battle!*Everyone moves into position*  You know what to do.I'm on it. Good. Now that you've led us here, you're free to go. But if we see you again, we won't hesistate [sic] to kill you on the spot. Is that clear?Y-You don't have to say it twice! I'm gone! *leaves*All right, there's no time to lose! Let's rescue the ladies and get everyone back home safely! If anyone's going to die today, it will be the enemy!This is our hint that having anyone die is a Game Over.  Well, there's only 4 of us against 40 of them. The rooms are guarded by (from the left) Narcian, Gheb and Valter.  Kn. Suitor Knights desperate to win the favor of their beloved.  He's also back to the usual weapons. Goodbye Woos, Poems and Serenades. You were too good for this world   The bosses all retain their stats from their (Normal mode) respective games. Down to  And down to having a stealable Blue gem. If only we have a thief... Narcian That narcissistic jerk from FE6. He loves himself.  Valter also has a Delphi Shield, so no trivializing him with Rath/Wil. Valter That creep from Sacred Stones. He loves strong women. Wyv Knight High-flying, lance-wielding knights. Not native to Elibe.  Gheb is comparatively very uninteresting. To be fair, he's a random midboss that you won't even meet half of the time. Gheb Obligatory joke cameo is obligatory.  Saul is right in the middle of the map. He might not be a boss, but he has...a Sleep staff...when we have no Restore user... Saul That skirt-chasing priest from FE6. ...What's with the red eyes? And for completion's sake, the description for the generic enemies: Generic They don't even have names, the poor blokes. 1234567890num fucked around with this message at 07:58 on May 2, 2020 |
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Apr 26, 2020 16:14
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1234567890num posted:SO were your missions
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Apr 26, 2020 19:22
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I forgot the descriptions for the characters, so I added them to the update. Narcian That narcissistic jerk from FE6. He loves himself. Valter That creep from Sacred Stones. He loves strong women. Gheb Obligatory joke cameo is obligatory. Saul That skirt-chasing priest from FE6. ...What's with the red eyes? Generic They don't even have names, the poor blokes.
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May 2, 2020 07:57
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.png) Honestly, most of our guys are strong enough to deal with these enemies. .png) They can still get overwhelmed, though. The first turns are the hardest, actually, since we have to deal with all the paladins in our starting area. .png) Putting Sain on a pillar means he's in range of A knight? You dare challenge me? You're no match for my prowess! (I love myself!)Craven cur! How dare you kidnap innocent women! Your atrocious acts will not go unpunished! For the sake of all the lovely ladies in Elibe, my blade will strike true!And then Sain proceeds to get hit for 14 damage on a 37% chance  .png)  You're right, Lowen. It matches Hannah's description to the letter.Hannah is the FE7 fortuneteller.  I just hope we made it in time. Ninian... Please be safe. Bah! Enough talk! They took Karla! Heads are gonna fly!Ah! Is that not... Lord Eliwood of Pharae?! [sic] Why are he and his men here? Perhaps I should speak with them...Unfortunately, Sain can't reach Eliwood's group, so we'll have to survive another turn first. .png) Oh yeah, Kent starts with Killer Lance, Wil starts with Killer Bow, and Rath starts with Killing Edge. Sain doesn't start with Killer Axe, sadly. Since we're going to get plenty of crits, let's make a tally!  Useful Crits: 1.png) Useful Crits: 2Kent refuses to cooperate with another crit .png) .png) .png) It's only turn 2, so it's no biggie if we have to reset. Remember that anyone dying is an instant Game Over. .png) We can recruit Eliwood's group by having Sain talk to anyone (except Lowen). Ah... Could it be... Sir Harken?Sain? Is that you? What are you doing here? Have the women in Caelin been kidnapped as well?You don't mean...the ladies of Pharae... [sic]I'm afraid so.Ah! Then our pace must be doubled! We must rescue the women at all costs!Hey, you! Have you seen Karla?No, I--Gwwaargh! Then get out of my way! *goes ahead*Whoah! That must mean...Karla's been kidnapped as well?! Ah, I must ride with more haste!Lord Eliwood?! Is that you? I never thought I'd see you here!Hm? If I recall correctly, you were one of the knights accompanying Lady Lyndis...That's right! I'm Sain of the Caelin Knights! But alas! Our fair Lyndis has been taken captive by the brutes of this fortress!Lyn was kidnapped? Blast... Was the the only one?No... Rebecca and Fiora were also taken away. W-Why do you ask?Because a similar incident occured [sic] in Pharae [sic] a couple days ago...WHAT?! Then our pace must be doubled! We must rescue the women at all costs!Now that we have twice as many units, we have a much easier time of surviving. .gif)  Useful Crits: 2 Useless Crits: 1Notably, Eliwood has Armorslayer, Harken has Brave Sword, Lowen has Brave Axe, and Bartre has Swordslayer. Unfortunately, the armorslayer is too weak and the brave axe is too heavy for Lowen. I could trade the brave axe to Bartre, but he's strong enough without it and I don't want Lowen to be ENTIRELY useless, so... .png) Next turn, we get more reinforcements  They're both here. I can sense it. I sense it as well. Yes... But there is a dark presence lurking within these walls. We should proceed with caution. ..... Must be a magic thing.Ugh. I still can't believe we let ourselves get ambushed on our trip back to Etruria. If I had only been more aware--No use in regretting the past now, Erk. Let's focus on accomplishing what we came for.Of course.Louise... We will soon be reunited, my love..png) We can recruit Pent's group by talking to anyone (except Raven). Ah! It's YOU!Sir Sain? Why are you here?I was about to ask you the same! My lovely liege, Lady Lyndis, and several other ladies in Caelin and Pharae [sic] have been taken hostage by the fiends occupying this fortress! It is our mission to rescue the lovely ladies and return them home safely!Then we share a common goal. Lady Louise and Priscilla were taken from us as well.WHAT?! Then we have no time to lose! Quickly, we must ride to their aid!As impressive it is that Sain remembers Lucius this time, it's even more impressive that the generics didn't kidnap him thinking he's a woman. Ah! Erk? Is that you?Sain? Why are you here?I was about to ask you the same! My lovely liege, Lady Lyndis, and several other ladies in Caelin and Pharae [sic] have been taken hostage by the fiends occupying this fortress! It is our mission to rescue the lovely ladies and return them home safely!Ah...so the kidnappings are more widespread than I'd imagined...W-What?! Don't tell me Princess Priscilla.......Then we have no time to lose! Quickly, we must ride to their aid!Ah! That man... His face is familiar.Hm? You... You are one of the knights who fought with us in the war against Nergal, correct? What brings you here?I was about to ask you the same, sir...err...Pent. Please remind me of your name as well, knight.Lord Pent! I am Sain, knight of Caelin! My lovely liege, Lady Lyndis, and several other ladies in Caelin and Pharae [sic] have been kidnapped by the fiends occupying this fortress! It is our mission to rescue the lovely ladies and return them home safely!I see. How odd... Then we have come for the same purpose.W-Wait... You can't mean other women have been kidnapped?!Yes, unfortunately. My wife, Louise, and Erk's fiance, Lady Priscilla, were intercepted on their way back to Etruria--WHAT?! Then we have no time to lose! Quickly, we must ride to their aid!Now that we have recruited the Etrurian group, you know what it means? .png) We have healers now! And even better, Lucius comes with Restore and Physic while Pent comes with 10-use Fortify!  Erk also comes with a Bolting, but I don't think I'll ever get to the point where I need to use it. .png) I've got to find something to unlock those doors, quickly! That's it! The enemy! One of them must be holding a key, or something!Remember that Saul has a 1-use Unlock staff. Speaking of Saul, his Sleep staff is no longer a huge nuisance now that we got Restore .png) Okay, so this turn, Rath and Eliwood are in position where they'll take 3 attacks they can't counter. .png) Two of the snipers go after Eliwood, leaving only ranged positions for the mages. Rath is equipped with a bow, ready to take them on. .png) .png) .png) .png)  Well he did definitely take them on. No, the first two pictures aren't from the same enemy. Useful Crits: 5 Useless Crits: 2.png) And there's the reinforcements. .png) Someone has a Devil Axe. Never seen him get hit by it, though. And yes, I am leaving Narshen alone for now, hoping for Hector's group to arrive so I can have Matthew steal his Blue Gem and Delphi Shield. .png) Anyway, we mop up and built a paladin (+ Raven) wall to hold the front. .png) It works well. .png) .png) Useful Crits: 5 Useless Crits: 4We can then mop them up. Playing this chapter feels like playing Greil Mercenaries' part of FE10 in that all our units are really good but they can still be overwhelmed. .png) Well, that's more pretty troubling. We have several turns to prepare for it, though. .png) .png) Useful Crits: 5 Useless Crits: 5Meanwhile, we'll just get through the soldiers and try to get to Saul. Guess that soldier doesn't get to Brave, and Defaulting doesn't work well for him Of course, Saul tries to use Sleep on Enemy Phase. .png) That certainly is a battle quote. He has a unique one against Sain (relatively speaking). Those garments! You!.....You are a priest, and yet you engage in these despicable affairs? How can you live with yourself?.....No words? Very well! Have at you!.png) So yeah, this is the mess we're dealing with. .png) Useful Crits: 5 Useless Crits: 6We're strong enough to handle most of these this turn, though. .png) Saul has 21 AS, enough to double most of our units. Good thing we have brave weapons .png) Make one right NOW. Make the second one before you open your 1st door. Make the third one before you hit the 1st switch. Hint: Remember how doors worked in Ch. 2. Unlike last chapter, this one is easy enough that I won't abuse savestates. .png) This is our formation at the end of this turn. .png) Useful Crits: 6 Useless Crits: 6It works well. .png) We could kill Saul, but that would lead to a Game Over. Instead, we have to get Sain to talk to him. .png) .png) .png) Before that, though, we have to clear up some space. Useful Crits: 8 Useless Crits: 7Gaah... Ahh...Note: Saul no longer has red eyes. Hah! This is the end for you, lout!N-No, wait! I'm not your enemy! That man, Ebner... He deceived me!What?He said if I joined him, I would get to share the love of St. Elimine with all the women I wanted. Of course, I could not refuse his generous offer... But the moment I gave him my consent, he hypnotized me! When he said that I could be with all the women I wanted, I did not think he'd go to such extreme measures as this!Should've read the fine print Hm...Are you still not convinced? Then I'll tell you where the women are being held. Three of them from Caelin are locked in the holding rooms. The rest are in the back.But the doors to those rooms are locked... Wait, you have a [sic] unlock staff!It only has one use... I can unlock a single door. Tell me which door should be opened, and I will do it!.png) .png) Talking to Saul triggers these reinforcements. Considering where Saul is, we're completely surrounded. We do have one turn before they catch up to us, though. .png) This is a good time to use Fortify. .png) .png) They're closing in... We'll try to break through the right since it's way easier to deal with wyvern lords than paladins. .png) .png) .png) .png) Useful Crits: 11 Useless Crits: 8.png) This is what it looks like when we're done. We're fine...right...? .png) .png) NOW we're fine .png) .png) We clean up the right side and get ready for the next wave. The Luna druid dies quickly and nonthreateningly to a round of Brave Sword .png) Works like a charm. .png) .png) After that, it's just cleaning up. We're done with the second hardest part of the chapter (or at least in this update). Useful Crits: 12 Useless Crits: 9.png) And this is the part where I realized that Physic is B rank in this game (instead of C in recent FE plus FE5). Oh well.  .png) Useful Crits: 13 Useless Crits: 10Now that the ambush is dealt with, we can continue going down the right hall. It doesn't have nearly as many enemies as the left. Since Gheb doesn't have anything valuable to steal, we'll start killing him first. .png) Hmph! How dare you address me in that tone! I am Gheb, the greatest warrior who ever lived!Greatest warrior or not, you are a mangy brute for kidnapping women! Prepare to meet your end by my blade!With a killer axe, Gheb has a total of 4% chance of critting (which will kill Sain), so I don't actually do this. Instead, I attacked with Lucius and Rath instead. Wh-what was that? You piece of trash, what do you think you're doing?.png) Th-that's not poss-- Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!Hold it! That gaaah's not in your original death quo-I DON'T CARE! I AM GHEB! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!In chapter 2 we opened a door by waiting in front of it, so if we park Sain in front of the door... .png) ...Huh. I got a feeling I shouldn't open this door just yet. I'll just keep a savestate here and go beat the other bosses first. .png) I am strong... I am wise... I am handsome...and I am right! Always! More than anybody! (I love myself!)No...No...! I will not be defeated...! Not by you...worthless... Gaaaaaaahhhhh!.png) It's Wit at least .png) Well that's different. Wonder what's behind the final door? .png) Give me prey that will sate my bloodlust... I hunger!You! Are you the one who kidnapped these women?!Why yes. I was summoned from another continent to join the fun. And I must say, I am thoroughly enjoying myself.You dastard! As the knight and protector of all women in Elibe, I, Sain, will strike you down!.png) Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that the normal enemies don't give any EXP. My bad .png) .png) Yep this is definitely different. Guess we're at a route split right now. Which means it's  VOTING TIME!What route do we take? Fiora (LULZ), Rebecca (happy) or Emily (serious)? Note that depending on the length of the rest of the game, I might not bother to do the other two routes, so choose carefully.
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May 3, 2020 13:39
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Fiora because let's get the short endings out of the way first? At least, I think it should be short.
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May 3, 2020 14:31
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Emily because i want to see how this game would take itself seriously.
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May 3, 2020 15:33
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says Rebecca.
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May 3, 2020 15:40
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Blaze Dragon posted:Emily because i want to see how this game would take itself seriously. Same. Also I share a name with Rebecca and thus am not inclined to resign her to that date.
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May 3, 2020 17:49
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Rebecca
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May 4, 2020 00:32
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Emily
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May 4, 2020 02:41
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Rebecca because it sounds like it won't take long to wrap up, leaving you the energy and time to still do Emily's route.
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May 4, 2020 03:42
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 Something isn't quite right. Anyway Emily what the hell let's just go for it!
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May 4, 2020 03:58
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I see nothing wrong photoshops animation timeline is made of rear end and poo and it dropped frames somehow despite me not mucking with it gently caress it im not firing that piece of poo poo up again Rigged Death Trap fucked around with this message at 04:55 on May 4, 2020 |
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May 4, 2020 04:44
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Current results: Fiora: 1 Rebecca: 3 Emily: 4 You guys don't like the lulz, huh?
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May 4, 2020 09:32
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Rebecca
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May 4, 2020 09:48
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1234567890num posted:Current results: I'll be honest here and say that most of the humour on this hack has not worked for me, and the idea of LULZ here feels like it'd bring in a lot of cringe.
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May 4, 2020 13:33
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Also Fiora is Kent's soulmate.
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May 4, 2020 13:35
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I'm not willing to trust what this hack considers humor. Emily
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May 4, 2020 16:14
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Emily because she might be a playable character this way?
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May 4, 2020 23:42
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Fiora, if only to give her more than one vote.
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May 4, 2020 23:51
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Voting results: Fiora: 2 Rebecca: 4 Emily: 6 Guess we're going down Emily's route first. How bad can it be--  I hate you guys
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May 5, 2020 10:10
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1234567890num posted:Voting results: Should've listened to the .Maybe she's an Est?
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May 5, 2020 13:47
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You voted for Emily You, priest! Unlock this door!As you wish..png) Ah! The door opened! Has someone really come to rescue me?Emily?!What?! YOU!Oh, my fair Emily! What a surprise to see you here! ...Ugh.Allow me to free you from your bonds! Are you hurt? Did those mongrels harm you my beloved one?Shut your mouth! Good Elimine, I don't think I've met anyone so annoying in my life!B-But I--Look, knight. If you want to be useful, hand me your lance.M-My lance? But, surely, you don't mean to figh--You're not even an actual knight yet. I don't think you can wield a Silver Lance. Idiot! Who do you take me for? I'm not looking to take on the entire army... I just need something to defend myself with, okay?B-But darling... You're trembling so! Please, stay behind me! I'll protect yo--Hah! You? Protect me? What a joke. A good spear is worth more than your cheap chivalry.B-But Emily! I--Enough blubbering! Give me a weapon, and I'll stay out of trouble. Ok?Ah... If you insist...Thank you.Got an Iron lance Sir knight! I'd like to atone for my wrongs. Please, allow me to fight on your side!If you insist... But one traitorous move, and you're done!Of course.And with that, we now have two new units. .png) Saul has Warp AND Sleep. As a bonus, its uses are replenished .png) .png) Emily, on the other hand is...well...let's say she's awful right now (  capped Cun). She might be an Est, but I can't check her growth rates right now. This Iron lance is the only weapon she can wield, and we can't trade her any other weapon (since nobody is bringing javelins).At least she's able to get the switch. Got the first switch. Two more to go!.png) Opening the switch reveals this room. The enemies are tougher than the others, but they're pretty far. We have enough time to prepare. When we end turn, an assassin and a berserker appear in the lower right. .png)  There's the kidnapper's fort, just as described. My source's info proved to be right on the money! ...I'm impressed. And who was this source again?Sorry, milord. I keep the identities of all my sources confidencial [sic]. Though....png) Whoah. Just like that? Aren't you fortune tellers supposed to be less...forthcoming with your answers? Not that I'm complaining or anything. Heh heh heh. Someone's got to move this story along, dear. Might as well be me!.png) in the first place...Pfeh. Doesn't matter, now that we're here. No one kidnaps my fiance without getting a piece of my mind! C'mon, let's go!Whoah! Young master! Hold up!Eh?Your disguise, milord.What about it?You may look like a pirate, but your speech and actions will give you away!What are you blabbering about? This disguise is enough!I'm afraid not. Unless you want the whole Lycian council to know you're out and about, you've got to fit the role you're playing perfectly. Please, young master. Just talk like I told you to!...Fine. Sheesh! But if I hear ONE laugh from you--You'll ring my neck. I know, I know. Now, please...Arrrh! No one take me beauty without gettin' a piece o' me mind!B-Better... Heh. Much better!You're enjoying yourself, aren't you?N-No, milord! As your humble vassal, I'm only trying to insure your saf--Whatever. I'm gone. *leaves*Pffft! Hahaha-- No... Must...n-not...laugh... Haha... Ahem.Matthew and Dardanos A pirate who bears an uncanny resemblance to Hector of Ostia. .png) Nino's been kidnapped too? Huh... Also, this is the point where I remembered that ASSASSINS CAN'T STEAL poo poo for some reason. This means I've been keeping Narcian alive for no reason. Oh well, just assume that I killed him offscreen. .png) Lowen still sucks, by the way. .png) There's a bunch dialogues we can get with our new recruits. I tried to get all of them, but I can't guarantee I didn't miss any. Ah, glory to St. Elimine! To behold such a lovely woman as you, I must be--URGH! Not this again! Get out of my way! *leaves*Ooof... S-So violent... To think someone could be worse than Dorothy... I-I can hardly believe it!Ugh. A priest? Really? To think someone could be more shameless than Sain!.png) These enemies are tougher than normal, but we got it handled. .png) Useful Crits: 14 Useless Crits: 10Yes, that count is still ongoing. .png) Lowen!!! .png) Matthew can open the door to Fiora...who is a green unit. poo poo. Guess I'll have to bring Sain or Kent to talk to them. .png) We'll just continue mopping up the enemies. There's steady trickle of reinforcements (about 1 per turn), so we can't get complacent yet. .png) I have a feeling that I'm going to have to train her, but it really doesn't look promising  .png) .png) Useful Crits: 16 Useless Crits: 10.png) Turns out Sain can't talk to Fiora, but Kent can. Kent! Fiora!Oh, Kent... You're alive. I'm so glad...As am I. Please, stay by my side. I don't want to lose you again, Fiora.Kent...Lady Lyndis is still in danger. I must ride to her aid.I'll come with you. Would you lend me--Of course. Take these weapons.Thank you, Kent.Please, don't mention it.Got a Steel sword. Got a Short spear. See, Emily? Fiora can actually wield stuff worth a drat. .png) With Fiora recruited, we'll have Kent activate the switch and have her ferry him out. Second switch activated. Just one more left..png) Second switch, second revealed room, same deal with the first. We'll also have to recruit Rebecca, but I sent Wil up the right side. I could have Emily ferry him to the left, but... .png) ...it's a good excuse to use the Warp staff. .png) Or I guess Lowen can talk to her too.  Miss Rebecca! Ah, Lowen!Rebecca, are you all right?Yeah. Now that you're here... I'm fine.No injuries or anything? Are you absolutely sure?Yep! And it's all thanks to you, Lowen. You really are my knight in shining armor!Ah. It's... I'm just glad you are unscathed. H-Here, take these weapons. You should have them to defend yourself.Right! And we still have to save the rest of our friends! Let's go!Got a Killer bow. Got a Silver bow. .png) AIN'T HAPPENING, BUD. Lowen doesn't deserve a paired ending .png) Useful Crits: 16 Useless Crits: 11On the next turn, Saul have a little chat. Oh, praises to St. Elimine! What a splendid vision of heaven!...Pardon me? Have we met?No, not before. But surely, fate has brought us together now. We were destined to meet......Please, allow me to share the love of St. Elimine--My apologies, but several of my friends are being held hostage. I have no time to spare. If you would allow me to pass...O-Of course...Thank you."Chat" might be a bit generous. Oh well. On to the next turn! .png) Wait... .png) No! I can't fall here! Mother......gently caress. Oh well. At least I savestated when I showed off that dialog between Lowen and Rebecca, so I only lost 1 turn. .png) On next turn, I put someone who can actually take a hit. Bartre got hit twice, but he's fine. .png) More importantly, let's recruit Rebecca for real! Rebecca!Wil!Are you all right?Yeah. Now that you're here... I'm fine.Whew... That's good to hear. I was so worried we wouldn't make it in time--But you did! Thank you, Wil. You saved me...Hey, it's the least I could do! Here, take these weapons. We still got to help free the rest of our friends.Right! Let's go!Got a Killer bow. Got a Silver bow. .png) Same equipment as before. We'll hit the last switch real quick... Here it is! The last switch....png) Milady!Lyn!Oh fair Lyndis of Caelin... What could I do to gain your affection? Please understand, I only brought you here because... Well, otherwise, someone as drab as I would never be graced with your presence...Yep. Definitely an incel  Ha, the door!Ebner! Show yourself, you dastard!What?! Trouble already? Hmph! Worthless generals. Seems like I'll just have to deal with these goons...myself! But first, my tomes... Ngh. Where did I put those blasted things?! Gwaah! Blast it all! I'll be right back. *warps* Ah! Is Lyn all right? Quickly, I must speak with her!Before that, we still have the ambush from our second switch to deal with. .png) .png) .png) Useful Crits: 18 Useless Crits: 12They're dealt with  Matthew's lethality is particularly useful, since the wyvern lord was at 5 HP and everybody (except Emily) had another target in mind. .png) .png) Useful Crits: 19 Useless Crits: 13There's also some cleaning up on the left side. .png) Lyn starts out as a blue unit already, but she's unarmed. We can move her off the throne, but I don't know why you'd want to. .png) Lyn gets too comfy on the throne and failed to dodge .png) .png) Guess that hit woke her up. .png) The throne heals her, and a few bishop reinforcements arrive. They are special. .png) Kamikaze The ultimate glass cannon. Kill it, before it kills you! They hit for a flat 34 damage, but have 4 Wit, 3 Inv and 8 Res. In short, everyone (except Emily) can one round them. .png) Oh look, it's Lowen actually being useful! .png) ...At least he lands his other 3 hits .png) Lucius gets another level from using Fortify. Not that it matters. .png) Useful Crits: 20 Useless Crits: 13.png) I needed to bait a soldier from Lyn (since she'll die in 2 hits). Turns out the soldiers' Wit is so low that they can't double Erk with bolting .png) Even EMILY can double him! EMILY! She'll still die if someone looks at her funny though  .png) It's not like Sain can use this, so let's have an Emily training session! .png) Not you .png) This is going to be painful  .png) .png) Useful Crits: 21 Useless Crits: 14.png) Why not .png) This would be a good level...if we get to keep these mages. .png) Well, everything is handled and there's no more enemies (for now). Time to spend the next turn seeing who can talk with who... .png) ...I forgot to move Raven after he killed a Kamikaze .png) Aaand now he's stuck.  .png) Problem solved. We also have Physic, so he's fine. .png) Useful Crits: 22 Useless Crits: 14And with one last crit, we're off to convo land. Oh my...Hm? Is there something wrong?No, nothing. It's just you look so much like someone I know. Yes, the resemblance is uncanny! By any chance, are you...Lord Eliwood of Pherae?I'm just going to replace every single instance of Pharae with Pherae from now on. Yes, I am. Why do you ask?That's what I thought. It's an honor to meet you, Master Eliwood. Your son will grow up to be a great man someday...My...son?Oh, never mind me. I must be going now. *leaves*.... That was...odd.Oh! C-Could it be??I can't believe my eyes. Thank you, blessed Elimine, for allowing me to behold your beauty in the flesh!Um...Hello. I don't believe we've met.I am Saul, a priest of the Elimine Church. From your style of dress, I assume you must also be a servant of Saint Elimine?Yes, Brother Saul. My name is Lucius...Lucius. Surely, this is fate! Even time itself could not thwart our destined meeting.Pardon, I don't understand... How does time have anything to do with us meeting?You see... I actually come from twenty years in the future. I was summoned here against my own will! But I know now it was destined to be. Clearly, I was dragged to this time and place so I might meet you, dear sister of the faith!Sister? There seems to be a misunderstanding.How so?I am a monk.A monk? B-But...That means........I think Lucius is getting tired of being misgendered. Hm... I see... B-Brother Lucius. You are a man... Then...I am jealous of you. Surely, with that gentle look, you can draw in many more believers for the Elimine Church!I...suppose you could look at it that way... Though I feel my appearance is more of a burden than a blessing at times...No! To be so beautiful could never be a burden. I can't imagine it to be so!...Brother Saul. You have a point. Perhaps, I should be more grateful for what I've been given.You have inspired me as well, Brother. Now I will work harder to grow the Elimine Church, so I can draw in more followers than you!Uh... Must we really have to make this a competition?Brother Lucius! Even though you are not a woman, I'm glad we met. Perhaps we will meet again in the future....Of course.We still have plenty more to go! Sain!Lady Lyndis! Oh! What a marvelous sight to see you unscathed! I'm so delighted, I feel I could be put through General Wallace's training a thousand times over and not tire!Note: Wallace doesn't appear in this game (so far). The others...are they unharmed?Of course! Go on, talk to them and see for yourself! Why, they'll all be so happy to see you well, milady! But first, take this sword in your defense. If my lovely liege got hurt now, I'd never forgive myself!Thank you, Sain.Got an Iron sword. Just an iron sword?  Lyn! Are you well?Eliwood?! How-- Why are you here?...It's because Ninian and several ladies from Pherae for that matter are being held somewhere in this fortress.Ah!It seem [sic] a mysterious group of men have been kidnapping women from all over Lycia. I don't know what their reasons are for this... However, we're here to free the ladies from Pherae, as well as any other captives being held here.I see... I...wasn't aware there were other kidnappings outside Caelin...Your knights also came to rescue you. You should speak with them when you have the chance.Yes... Of course. Thank you, Eliwood.Lyn! Are you all right?I'm fine, Wil. Are the others...?Yeah, they're all okay. It's a good thing these louts aren't super bloodthirsty... If they'd wanted to, they could've killed us all in our sleep!That's what I'd feared. I'm so relieved...Ebner might be an incel, but at least he's not a bloodthirsty murderer Heh, you stole the words from my mouth! But as much as I was worried...you should have seen Kent, Rath, and Sain! Have you talked to them all yet? They won't breathe easy till they know you're okay, you know?Right... I'll do that.Lyn!Rath! Did you come here to save me?...Mm. I am glad to see you unharmed. Take these weapons and stay close to me.Thank you, Rath. I'm so happy you came....So am I.Got the Mani Katti. Got a Wind sword. Now that's more like it.  Despite what the game said, Lyn and Kent can't talk to each other. Ah! Those eyes!Huh?They shine brightly with the light of heaven!...Where have I heard this before?Surely, I am blessed to stand in the presence of such a radiant face! But those eyes... They look oddly familiar.Um... Who are you again?I am Saul, a humble servant of the Elimine Church.Wait, you're a priest? You don't act like one...Ah! How could you say such a thing? Now you remind me of...another person I know.Sorry, mister... But I really don't have time to stand and chat. See you. *leaves*No wait! Miss! Please don't go! I have yet to tell you of the love of St. Elimine!"Love of St. Elimine" is a nice euphemism that I probably could add to my dictionary. Wait... Hector?!E-Eh? Who you be callin' Hector, matey? I'm Captain Dardanos, wanderer o' the seas! You must be mistakin' me for someun--Hector, quite [sic] fooling around! I know it's you. What in the blazes are you doing here, dressed up like THAT nonetheless?Bah! What do you think I'm doing? I'm rescuing my fiance!...I see. Then what's the purpose of that pirate getup?Eliwood, I'm not you! The Ostian people... The Lycian council... They all still think I'm some reckless lout. If they knew I ran off to save my fiance, that would make it even harder for me to take my brother's place as marquess!But if you're here... Who's covering for you back at Castle Ostia?Well...This convo is so fancy it has its own cutout. .png)  Where is Lord Hector? He's been absent without notice for four days now! Sir. As I said before, he went to Etruria to discuss diplomatic relations with the Etrurian King. He should be returning shortly...Is that so? I just so happen to be an ambassador to Etruria, and I've heard of no such meeting.Of course. The meeting was to be kept confidential. Perhaps the Etrurian King did not see fit to let you know of its occurance.Hmphm! I don't know about you, but something about this is very suspicious.........Are you sure the young lord is not wandering about, getting into street brawls with ruffians and commoners? I've heard he's notorious for his brash and defiant behavior.Sir, please understand... As sucessor [sic] of the late Marquess Ostia, Lord Hector knows better than to attempt any action that would threaten his position. Especially now when the eyes of all Lycia are affixed on him.Hmph! He better not. Or royal bloodline be damned! We'll see to it that a more competent leader is placed on the throne.Of course.Good day, knight. I'll return in five days...and if the young lord has not returned by then, the council will search for him in Etruria, personally! *leaves*...Just as I feared. The Lycian council is growing suspicious. Lord Hector... Return swiftly. Or they'll all know you're a reckless idiot..png) Hey, it's Oswin. I'm sure he's managing the wolves just fine... But if I'm spotted here, it's all over. Got it? I can't afford to be recognized!Well, I suppose that explains things.For the record, the pirate getup was Matthew's idea. I had nothing to do with this!Hahahaha. Whatever you say. Captain Dardanos, was it?Aye! And dontcha go forgetting it either!.png) Man... T-This... This is just...too good...Ah, thanks to St. Elimine! To behold such a gorgeous woman as this... Surely, I am blessed!What? Who--You are Sacaen, are you not? Yes, there is no doubt... You have the exotic beauty of a wild flower...how striking--Who are you? Are you one of Sain's friends, by any chance?No. I am Saul, a servant of Elimine from the future. May I ask your name, milady?It's Lyn.Ah! So you are the Lady Lyndis everyone was speaking of! I fought with those knights to secure your release!I see... but there are others who still need our help. I'm going to free them!Of course! Let's do it together!How odd...Hey, priest! What are you staring at?My apologies, pirate. But it's strange. Your appearance seems to reminds [sic] me of a girl I met.Really...Her name's Lilina. She's the daughter of Marquess Ostia--Daughter? You're pulling my leg, priest! My br-- Lord Uther never had a child, let alone a daughter!Uther? Who is he? I'm talking about Lord Hector of Ostia.H-Hector?Of course! But ah! I keep forgetting this is a different time... Lord Hector would still be a young lad now, wouldn't he?.....I've heard he was quite reckless in his early years. Is that true?Pfft. How would I know? And who the heck are you anyway?!My name is Saul. I'm a servant of Elimine from twenty years in the future--Future? You're saying you traveled back in time? That's nuts! There's no way-- Lord Hector would never have a daughter! Not unless he had a son first!But Lord Hector had no son--Bah! I've heard enough! Good day. *leaves*My... How odd. I don't see why a simple pirate would get so riled up over trivial details like that.You'll have a daughter and you'll like it! Wait, is that...Hector?Eh? Who you be calling Hector, lassie? Me name's Captain Dardanos, wanderer of the seas!Oh. My apologies... It's just, you look exactly like Lord Hector of Ostia.Harr harr! Is that so? Ya know, they say there are at least three people on the continent with the same face. Guess I just happen to look like a future marquess! Lucky me, eh?Not really. I know Hector personally. He's a reckless numskull, and a terrible leader to boot. I can't help but worry about what will happen to Ostia when he takes the throne. He'll probably throw the entire Lycian Alliance into chaos!H-Hey now! He can't be that bad!And what does that matter to a pirate like you? A broken Lycia would be good business for you, would it not? You should be happy.Uh...well...Silly Hector. I could tell it was you from the start! Maybe you should touch up on your acting skills. I'm sure they'll be useful to have when you're Marquess.Hey! Lyn, no fair! That was a low blow! This update is running very long, so we'll see the rest of this chapter (including the result of Emily's training) next update. 1234567890num fucked around with this message at 08:22 on Jun 1, 2020 |
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May 30, 2020 20:08
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My esteem for Matthew just shot up by a very large amount. Captain Dardanos
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May 30, 2020 22:03
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You have a "hannah:" and a "hector:" instead of their portraits.
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May 30, 2020 22:39
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| # ? Jun 7, 2024 23:11 |
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.png) Well, Emily finally managed to kill the soldier. Got a nice level out of it, too She did it just in time since this chapter end without having any boss (not including the cameos). .png) You!Eh? A knight?So you're the lout behind all this trouble! How dare you steal innocent women from their homes! I'll--Ahh. It seems your love for the ladies is very strong... Yes, in that respect, you are the same as I.I am not the same as you! To treat women this way is unspeakable!Now, now. Settle down will you? You seem like a reasonable fellow, so please, hear me out. I'd like to offer you a deal...A deal?Join me, and all the women in the world will be yours to woo. You won't be scorned for it, either. All the ladies will be helplessly inamoured [sic] by your graces... This is my dream, after all. I desire to create a new world filled with love...so no one ever feels neglected again.....So, what say you? Will you fight for my cause?.....Well?No way! I'll never cooperate with the likes of you! Taste my lance, fiend!MAGIC SHIELD, GO!.png) Gaaah... That...magic shield... Heheheh. You fool! Nothing can penetrate my magic shield of--hrrk..png) You dastard! What have you done?Iskar, save...me...!.png) You overexerted yourself again? Darn you....png) It's kinda hard to see, but Iskar is rescuing Ebner. Who the blazes do you think you are?No one. Good day..png) Someone stop that man!.png) Gnng. The hatch. It's locked! They escaped... Tell everyone to search the premises. We must stop that man!Right!Milady... Is Sain all right?Yes, he's breathing. He'll come to eventually.*Time passes* .png) Welcome back, Sain. How are you feeling?L-Lady Lyndis?You lost consciousness for a bit. While you were out, we went ahead and freed everyone taken captive by Ebner and his men.Ah, that's splendid news! And to think you nursed me from the brink of unconsciousness! My heart is aflutter, milady!Well, looks like you're back to normal. I guess we can head back to Caelin now.Ah, wait! EBNER! Where is that monster?!He escaped...WHAT?! Blast! That's it! I'm gonna--uuuuhf.Sain, take it easy!But--Don't worry about Ebner. We've sent scouts to look for the man. They're scouring the mountains as we speak.Woahh... Dizzy...Sain? Are you--I'm perfectly fine, milady! Don't fret! I'll overcome this dizziness in no time! Please, tell everyone to ride ahead to Caelin.But--Lyn, I insist! The last thing I want is to delay your triumphant return. It would put the Caelin people at ease to see their fair Lady's radiant face once more! Go! I'll catch up with you!Thanks, Sain. We'll see you soon.You can count it [sic], milady!*Lyn, Kent, Wil and Rath leave*  .png) Yes, of course!This stone.Ah!It fell out of your saddlebag when that druid knocked you unconscious. It's interesting, Sain... This stone...bears an uncanny resemblance to a famous treasure I once read about... The old Etrurian texts described it as "an enormous purple gem, shaped like the East Star..." It was called the Stone of Zagaren.Ah...Have you heard of it before?Uh...not really...Then allow me to explain. The stone once belonged to the famed Etrurian mage general and scholar Lord Zagaren, six hundred years ago. He studied how magic could be used to manipulate the human mind... I'm sure you're familiar with the berserk staff. Zagaren was the one who crafted it.Him?!Next you'll tell me that Zagaren was the source of Sleep staves too! It's also rumored that Zagaren had the ability to manipulate feelings. Happiness, pain, anger, pleasure, desire... He was said to be experimenting with all these things. But after his fiance [sic] was killed in an attack by bandits, something drove Zagaren to burn all his research. Only a small remenant [sic] of his work remains in the Etrurian archives, but those notes are so esoteric, not even the best scholars of today can fully desciper [sic] them... As for the stone of Zagaren... It was lost many centuries ago. This stone must be a replica of that lost artifact.......Are you all right, Sain? You seem a bit pale.N-No... No! I'm fine. See? I can stand again.That's good to hear. We'll all be heading back to Etruria then. Come darling. Let's return home. I'm sure Klein will be happy to see you!*Pent and Louise leave* .png) Yes?As much as I hate to say this... Thank you...for freeing me from that room. It's my belief that every favor must be repaid, regardless of how...undeserving the person might be. So if I can return the favor somehow...let me know, all right?Repay? Oh, but darling! It's the sworn duty of a knight to rescue fair maidens from harm! I could never ask for anything in retur--You don't get it, do you? You rescued my life, so I've got to do something for you. Otherwise, I'll never be able to take it off my mind...Ah, is that so? Then...uh, allow me to treat you to dinner!What?! What kind of request is that?It's an inSain request My dear, it would be an absolute pleasure to spend some time with you! If you accompany me, that would be the greatest gift!Tch. Look, knight. I can pay for your dinner, but don't expect me to eat with you! To be seen with you in public would be the ultimate disgrace.You have weird priorities But Emily!Forget it. Once I get back home, I plan on joining the Caelin Knights. I'm sure you get into all kinds of trouble, so I'll just bail you out once and call it even. How's that sound?But I-Good bye. *leave*Emily, w-wait! Ah...Would've saved everyone some time if you started with that .png) I'm from about twenty years in the future.The future?! Really? Have you seen me in the future? Surely by then, I, Sain of Caelin, would be the world's greatest knight!A knight by the name of Sain... Hmm... How interesting... I've never met you in the future, but...*Some people warps in* .png) Oh, if it isn't Dorothy. You idiot! Don't you know time travel is forbidden! We're going back to our time now, before we completely change the course of events!.png)  different Elibe. That's a scary thought.Whoah! You look a lot like Eliwood!.png) ...Uh. ..... We've been here too long..png) Well, nice meeting you, Sain. I wish you well in your endeavors, whatever they may be.The same to you! Farewell..png) .png) And by some mangy knights, nonetheless!Filthy rich, too.Eh? What gives you that idea?That knight you knocked out... He dropped this HUGE purple gem from his saddlebag.WHAT?!Heck, by the looks of it, that thing must've been worth a million times its weight in gold.A giant purple stone? Good man, Iskar! Speak up! Was it shaped like the East Star?!I guess you could say that... It did have a really odd shape to it--Ah! Then there can be no doubt! It must be...!What?The Stone of Zagaren! To think that some idiot would acquire Zagaren's ultimate stone of power! But no matter. I must retrieve that stone at all costs! Quickly, Iskar! We must follow that knight!Uh, sure... Whatever you say, Boss.Guess we know what the next arc will be about.
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Jun 7, 2020 17:49
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