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GeneralYeti posted:e: crow, is the mission multiplayer is still available, or is everything related to the MMO side gone? If it still works, I might be able to help out some. The missions themselves are still accessible, but the game's multiplayer capabilities are now offline. You can still build, edit and visit your own GeoRama and play the multiplayer missions, but they're locked down to being single player missions with just you and your AI party members. As such, a lot of the WKC II missions are effectively unplayable now because they were meant to be played by parties of 8 heavily equipped human-controlled characters rather than the Avatar and two sacks of bricks. The post-game dungeon in particular is literally impossible to complete now with GeoNet offline. Still, what were you thinking of? Shoot me an email at ninegearcrowsa at gmail dot com and let me know, since I don't have Platinum.
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Dec 30, 2013 01:59
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Oh man, this game. I bought the International version on a whim because I vaguely remembered seeing this game and thinking it was pretty cool-looking. At the point the LP looks like it might be reaching in the next update, I was aggressively hating on the game because my character contributed jack squat to the story.  I was expecting a mute protagonist like Tales of the World but not a totally inconsequential existence!Crow, I salute you for giving this game the respect it deserves.
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Dec 30, 2013 02:03
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RelentlessImp posted:Oh man, this game. I bought the International version on a whim because I vaguely remembered seeing this game and thinking it was pretty cool-looking. Thank you kindly. Again, I'm overjoyed that everyone seems to be enjoying things. I'm working on getting the next chapter out as soon as I can. This one should be a little easier since it's purely a plot chapter, no gameplay at all. Hopefully we'll actually be able to make it to the game's title card by the end of the year at this rate.
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Dec 30, 2013 02:35
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nine-gear crow posted:Thank you kindly. Again, I'm overjoyed that everyone seems to be enjoying things. I'm working on getting the next chapter out as soon as I can. This one should be a little easier since it's purely a plot chapter, no gameplay at all. Hopefully we'll actually be able to make it to the game's title card by the end of the year at this rate. I really hope so, since I gave up about halfway through the game and I still really want to see how it ends. I'm really enjoying the LP, and glad that the frustrations with the UI and AI weren't limited to just me. If Level-5 had released a "balance patch" after they took their servers offline I might have finished it, but I thought meh, if they don't give a big enough poo poo about this game why should I bother? One thing that just made just  was the cutscene stupidity that goes on in this game. I think Level-5 just decided halfway through to make a RGP parody game or something.
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Dec 30, 2013 03:14
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Lotish posted:Actually I was just thinking how this game would be much improved if it played like Dragon's Dogma. Because the pawns in Dragon's Dogma can be trained to do some pretty sophisticated things (though they can also be trained to be bone-chillingly dumb if their Arisen isn't paying attention.) Just let the player jump back and forth between the Avatar and everyone else in the party (since you wouldn't have the online pawn-exchange aspect of the game you could afford to make the "official" party members like playable Pawns) and just ditch the entire command menu thing for just straight up brawling. Keep the climbing aspects so you can get all SotC with the giant monsters when you don't want to bust out the spoiler thing we haven't gotten to yet. I almost mentioned DD in my post about AI teammates because I thought they did it pretty OK. Giving them a set grouping of things to do, powers to use and so on along with being able to put in priorities and such made it so I didn't feel like I was constantly carrying the party on my back. It helps that my Pawn was a sorcerer and would just cast Meteor like it was nothing and saving my rear end a few times in the mid game.
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Dec 30, 2013 03:30
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What a coincidence, I stumbled into this thread at just about the point where I ragequit this game forever! Looking forward to finding out more of the shitpile that was WKC.
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Dec 30, 2013 03:33
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By the way, I want to say that I'm enjoying the style you're using. And while I saw someone say you're being too hard on Leonard, I disagree and want to see him get both barrels.
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Dec 30, 2013 06:20
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Lotish posted:By the way, I want to say that I'm enjoying the style you're using. And while I saw someone say you're being too hard on Leonard, I disagree and want to see him get both barrels. Not just both barrels, but a reload, another round, before swapping to a shoulder-mounted LAW and hitting him with that, then firing him. From a cannon. Into the sun.
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Dec 30, 2013 06:54
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I've played and completed both games, what bothered me the most about these games is the amount of lost potential, they could have been so great with just a little bit more work and a few changes such as being able to trade with other players. It also really annoys me that they took the idea of you not being the main character (Something which I love in games.) and ruined it by having next to presence of your character throughout the game. Just having him throw a few punches in the bar fight would have helped make you feel more involved but instead you just sort of stand there.
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Dec 30, 2013 17:27
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I went with the simple expedient of having my avatar look like he was retarded. So he had an excuse to do absolutely nothing in cutscenes.
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Dec 30, 2013 19:13
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Well, I almost bought this game at one point in time -- good to see I dodged a bullet there. The writing seems fairly inoffensive for now (I can tolerate tedious JRPG hero design up to a point), but I guess we haven't gotten into the stink of it yet. Regarding Level-5, I have foggy memories of AI partners being morons who constantly get themselves killed in Rogue Galaxy, but it's been so long that I can't say for sure.
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Dec 30, 2013 19:46
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For those who haven't played the game, make sure you watch the linked cutscenes. Crow's commentary is good, but NOTHING compares to watching the hack-job, poorly voice-acted, awkward excuses for cutscenes this game offers. I can understand why people would think the game was a parody. Also, now that holidays are mostly over, I will work together with Crow so that the next videos have proper voice commentary with them.
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Dec 31, 2013 08:18
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Yessssssssss. I hated these games with a violent passion. That's why I own them both and completed them both. I can't explain it, it was just some kind of slack-jawed brainless drive to keep going and going. I think at the end I was dealing entirely in spite, especially in some of the bullshit online missions.
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Dec 31, 2013 12:33
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Heavy neutrino posted:Well, I almost bought this game at one point in time -- good to see I dodged a bullet there. The writing seems fairly inoffensive for now (I can tolerate tedious JRPG hero design up to a point), but I guess we haven't gotten into the stink of it yet. I've heard people say nice things about Rogue Galaxy, but I played it to the second (or was it third) planet and couldn't stand a single person in it, and the combat didn't grab me either.
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Dec 31, 2013 16:31
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Stelas posted:Yessssssssss. We're in the same boat. I'm generally an easy-going guy, to the point where I can eke some enjoyment out of things a lot of other people find to be legitimately terrible because I'm just happy to be entertained by it FFXIII. ...This game, however, brought out in me a seething, hideous rage the likes of which I didn't think I was capable of. It's a miracle the disc is still in playable condition for the LP. This isn't an LP so much as it's payback  .And you're completely right about the game being mental auto-pilot material, particularly in online quests. It got to the point where I would put my iPad in front of my TV and just watch stuff on Blip, Netflix or YouTube as I played, honestly focusing more on that than the game and still come away from some quests with an S-rank because it was that shallow, tedious, and repetitive of a game. Sally, my dear Sally, you have no idea what you're in for. The game often gives you 30 minutes to complete certain quests and will then go out of its way to ensure that it takes you 30 minutes to complete them with busy work and other bullshit.
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Dec 31, 2013 19:45
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Lotish posted:I've heard people say nice things about Rogue Galaxy, but I played it to the second (or was it third) planet and couldn't stand a single person in it, and the combat didn't grab me either. Bobbin did a lets play of it that's been archived of it for anyone that's curious about it. personally I found it's biggest issue to be the longs stretches of almost empty dungeons, and the fact that it takes most of the game to get somewhere near interesting. Now, on the topic of this game, I played a bit of it (I think I got as far as the second mine) but it eventually wore thin. that being said, not only does lenoard have putty for brains, playing as a wizard made most of the enemies feel rather...nonthreatening. I wont describe it in complete detail, but the higher level spells both wreck poo poo, they look like something a final boss from a final fantasy game would pull, and thats not even getting into the second game where they added one more teir of magic. Honestly my entire strategy for the game mostly comprised of "you guys be meatsheilds while I make them explode." thus giving the AI the one command it can get mostly right.
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Dec 31, 2013 19:53
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nine-gear crow posted:This isn't an LP so much as it's payback The final update needs to be a RL video of the discs being torched in the microwave.
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Dec 31, 2013 22:28
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nah, they deserve a good old smashing, preferably under a big heavy boot.
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Jan 1, 2014 03:13
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 Featured in this chapter: murder, depression, classism, violence, skullduggery, abandonment issues, more murder, and Kevin Bacon. Not featured in this chapter: kick-rear end guitar solos.  CUTSCENE: The Wine Delivery CUTSCENE MUSIC: “Watching the Permenance Band” (Disc 1, Track 9) We return to the action in the midst of the ‘circus’. The ‘Marcus Revellers’ are putting on a show for the crowds outside the castle.  And for the most part, they seem to be enjoying it. Then again, these people would probably have this reaction to a public beheading. Also note the impractical and just flat-out weird design of the portcullis in the background. How does that even work? Oh, hey, there’s our ‘heroes’ too.  Yulie seems enthralled with it, at the very least. Leonard and Orren? Not so much.  Yulie: Look! Something’s going on.  Leonard & Orren: Seen it.  Raus: Ooh! I just love festivities! Orren: I seem to recall saying something about you not talking. Leonard: “Wonders aplenty and sights unlike any”...  Leonard: Sorry folks, the castle delivery comes first.Well at least he’s being responsible for a change. That’s something.  Yulie: Sonofa— Wow, she is really disappointed by this whole ‘not getting to see the murder circus thing.’ Either that or she’s resigning herself to the fact that she just can’t get the hell away from Leonard, even for a moment.  The wine wagon finally saunters up to the castle gates, well into what I’m assuming is the next morning at this point.  I’m sure the guards are going to be very patient and—  Look at that face, you know exactly what their reaction is going to be. Look, even Orren can see how screwed they are. He’s not even bothering to fake a smile like Yulie at least is. Leonard, meanwhile, is legitimately pleased as punch that he actually made it to the castle. Again, we also see the wonky character rendering in effect. Orren is 6’1” and Leonard only comes up to his chin. Leonard is the same height as Yulie. All three of these characters are 18 years old (the Avatar can be any age you want, but for the sake of the LP, let’s just say Orren is about 18-20 because that was how I designed him to look.) You would think Leonard would be at least taller than a girl his own age, but nope. This is where designing a tall Avatar has its disadvantages. At this point in the story where Orren is a semi-prominent ‘character’ (read: prop), he sticks out because he’s a frickin giant compared to Yulie and Leonard, yet from here on out the only reason you’re going to notice him in scenes at all is because he is so tall he actually appears over other characters’ shoulders enough to be visible. Oh yeah, there’s story to be done…  Castleguardsman #1: Who are you then? Leonard: Rapacci Wines, sir.Here to guarantee Rapacci goes bankrupt by the end of the month by bad word-of-mouth. Castleguardsman #1: I thought we ordered Domino’s? Leonard: We’re here to deliver tonight’s wine. Castleguardsman #1: Oh, the booze. Castleguardsman #1: Alright, we’ve been expecting you. Castleguardsman #1: …though you were supposed to be here hours ago. Orren: Hah. Tell me about it… Castleguardsman #2: Where the hell have you been? Merchants shouldn’t keep the castle waiting! Orren: Yeah, nice dig at the working class there, champ. We can turn around and leave if you want. Castleguardsman #1: Fantasy-Jesus, Garreth, calm down. Castleguardsman #2: Hey! You know what they call a party without alcohol, Donnel? A crappy party. Leonard tries to explain the situation in his own ‘special way’… Leonard: Well, you see, we were attacked by a monster on the way to the warehouse and… Orren: You dumbass, that’s not what happened. We ran into a troll on Balastor Plain and we kicked its rear end. Probably took a minute to kill, tops. Go check, I’m pretty sure its corpse is still out there blocking the path to Parma. We were late because this goober— Raus: Is that my cue? Orren: Shut it! We were late because this goober drives his wagon like a snail runs a marathon. Our angry bourgeoisie-bootlicking guardsman doesn’t care and yells at Leonard to do his job properly. Note: this guy is only a dick because he’s a snob, otherwise he’s 100% in the right to be pissed off at Leonard right now. Castleguardsman #2: Stuff the excuses and get that wine inside, now! Castleguardsman #2: Don’t make me shove this spear up your rear end! Yulie handles the situation with some rather uncharacteristic dignity and poise, however. Yulie: Yes sir. We at Rapacci Wines look forward to serving you again!  And we’re walking…  Yulie: Humph. Jerks. Have a heart! Sure, I’ll serve them again. If it’s a boot in the face!Ah, there’s the Yulie I know and love.  Hopefully the actual staff will be a little pleasanter to deal with. Leonard: Good evening, ma’am. Here’s your wine order. Castle Stewardess: Thank you, lad. This will do fine.  Leonard: Right. We’ll be off then…  "CUTSCENE MUSIC": “Quest Complete” (Unreleased Track) Job’s done. Let’s go home.  Nah! I’m screwing with you. This is White Knight Chronicles…  We’ve got mountains of stupid ahead of us. Look at that face. Something stupid is brewing as we speak.  Leonard, being a nosy idiot, just wanders right up to the front gate of the castle and peeks his head in to try and get a glimpse of how the other 1% live.  Yulie: Woah! What are you doing?! You can’t go in there! Leonard: What’s wrong with one quick peek? Orren: If we’re lucky, detention and summary execution. Yulie: That’s a little morbid. Orren: And while you’re chewing me out, Leonard’s already snuck inside the castle. Yulie: Oh, son of a WHORE! I’m gonna kill him! Finally, however, something good happens. Stare long and hard at this image, folks. This is the last we see of Raus. Ever. Look at him standing there all confused and alone and comically tiny in the moonlight. Good night, sweet prick. May flights of assholes sing thee to thy—you know what, you’re not even worth using a joke I stole from the goddamn Nostalgia Critic for on. Just, go away… Raus: Oh dear. Miss Yulie, Chief… Raus: Angry tall foreign guy….jpg) Raus: Ooh. What am I luggage?Moments later, the wagon beast ate him.   CUTSCENE: The Royal Ball ~ Leonard Remembers CUTSCENE MUSIC: “The Royal Dance” (Disc 1, Track 10) Meanwhile, in the lap of luxury… Leonard: Woah. Cool. Orren: (Somewhat impressed.) Yulie: Seriously though, why haven’t we been stopped by anyone yet?I want to pause to examine this point for a moment. Valtos and the men serving under him are really bad at this whole ‘security’ thing. In the brief time we’ve known them, they have let into their city a blatantly obvious mind-rapey old wizard, and an uncredentialed circus that no one has ever heard of before full of soldiers in disguise on nothing more than the word of some schmuck in a suit of armor that they wanted to perform for Cisna’s birthday celebration. And now they have let three teenage commoners of unknown backgrounds and affiliations just walk right into the single biggest cultural and diplomatic event for Balandor as a nation in the last 50-some years. Sure, we know them from being stuck with them for the last two chapters, but nobody here does. They could be assassins for all anyone knows, here to murder King Valtos and Princess Cisna, or Archduke Dalam and any of the 5,000 Farians he’s brought with him in his entourage, or maybe they’re here to kill one of these nobles or just cause havoc in general. Maybe they’re aggrieved war victims so opposed to the idea of peace with Faria that they’re willing to kill someone—anyone—to prevent it from happening? Who knows? It’s a plot contrivance. Leonard has to be inside the castle for Reasons, so we’ll just have him sneak in and not get caught or questioned by anyone. Yet it just goes to further cement Balandor as a generally idealistic Disney kingdom of good guys that’s steeped in naivety. I’m pretty sure this party at the castle is by invite only. There aren’t any other commoners here at this ball, only our three player characters, and I’m pretty sure “No, it’s cool, we’re the guys who brought your wine tonight” is not a valid enough excuse to give for why you’ve been found in the middle of a formal ball you’re not supposed to be at. Then again, it’s bad on the Castleguard for letting them get this far. We are witnessing a total systematic failure to security on the part of the Kingdom of Balandor as personified at this moment by Leonard, Yulie, and Orren. I’m going to be blunt here: Balandor deserves everything that is about to happen to it in the next twenty minutes. The king who doesn’t know how do internal security doesn’t get to stay king for long. Anyway…  Inside the grand ballroom, the orchestra is playing a waltz, the nobles are dancing…  And dancing…  And dancing…  And—JESUS! What is this, Final Fantasy VIII?   Pictured: A visual summation of the Avatar’s role in White Knight Chronicles I & II  Oh, hey, there’s the King.  King Valtos: I have to pee…gently caress the King.  His gaze is caught by something. The smile that crosses his face suggests that Princes Cisna is making her grand entrance.  Princess Cisna is making her grand entrance. She’s flanked by two members of her elite Queensguard, women warriors trained in the art of killing and loyal to their monarch-in-waiting to the death. Here they are disguised as a pair of handmaidens. The time of Cisna’s decapitation strike draws near…  Princess Cisna: (First thing’s first: I am melting down that stupid crown. My crown needs to be WAY more terrifying to look at.) Pictured: The look of a man enraptured in fatherly love, and incapable of perceiving patricidal/regicidal intent. (I am of course kidding about Cisna being a power-mad tyrant-in-waiting, but this joke is just too amusing to let go of—plus, Kari Walhgren has played some rather batshit crazy power-mad characters before in her career, so I’m technically within my rights here as LP Maestro.)  The nobles begin to catch sight of their future autocrat descending the staircase to stand by her father’s side. The guy in centerframe looks like he just smelled a fart or something. Probably the lady in the yellow dress’s fart.  The princess presents herself to the gathering of the nation’s nobility. Princess Cisna: (Drink it in, mortals. Week One: We celebrate the beginning of my reign. Week Two: We’re invading Greede. I’m gonna make the hippie guy my bitch, or something.) The crowd stands in awe and horror before their new goddess.  Leonard: Hey… That’s her, the Princess! Um, Leonard? There’s something wrong with your eyes. I think you might…  Oh, never mind. He just had a stroke. LP’s over folks! Go home. I’m nine-gear crow, and on behalf of Blind Sally, I’d just like to say thank you for suffering through White Knight Chronicles with me, and—  SONOFATITCRUSHINGMOTHERFUCKINGHORSEJERKING— Oh. The game continues. Wonderful.  CUTSCENE MUSIC: “Recollection” Leonard flashes back to his childhood at the sight of our fair Princess Cisna, Long May She Reign. Somehow, he’s at Balandor Castle, looking in the fountain at his reflection, and probably wondering how life is going for the upside-down kid inside the water.     I really don’t have anything snide to say about this part. I actually think it’s sweet and it does show that Rapacci’s actually a) got a soft side, and b) has been taking care of Leonard (and Yulie, for that matter) for quite some time. I have no idea what Rapacci was doing at the castle, nor why he felt the need to bring Leonard along with him, however. Actually, I do know why he had to bring Leonard along with him. The kid is 18, and he still needs adult supervision.   Kid Leonard: Can we get ice cream? Rapacci: You’ll get nothing and like it. At the exact same time, young Princess Cisna comes along, flanked again by her Queensguard, I mean handmaidens.  I seriously feel like Zelda’s Lullaby should be playing right now. We’ve got a pair of kids, a royal and a commoner, in a castle garden, doing (or about to do) things they’re not supposed to. There’s a potentially violent guy with green skin in the periphery, and a handmaiden (two, actually) lurking about. I’m getting Ocarina of Time flashbacks like nobody’s business.   Cisna catches sight of Leonard. Seriously, I think she’s about to send him off to go meet with the Gorons on Death Mountain.  A look of utter confusion. Par for the course for Leonard. Also, I love how he’s wearing essentially a child-sized version of his present-day wardrobe. It’s like it grew with him or something. Also something to point out: If you equip different armours, the characters’ appearances change to reflect what they’re equipped with, and that carries over to all the live-rendered cutscenes. I’d like to imagine if you had some type of armour set on Leonard right now, he’d be wearing a child-sized version of that armour in this flashback. But alas, no one at Level-5 was either that creative, or that funny.   Kid Cisna: Yay! New vassals! Kid Cisna: Come here! I want to you go kill a dragon for me! Handmaiden: Oh gods! Hurry! Stop her!But alas, they just kind of give up the chase as soon as she gets out the door because it’s not actually their job to keep the sole heir to the throne of Balandor out of danger or anything. Eh, they don’t tell the King and Queen poo poo anyway, so why start now.  Kid Cisna: What’s your name? Never mind, I’m going to call you Melvin. Melvin-2, actually. Melvin-1 kind of died… when I had him thrown in the Iron Maiden. Kid Leonard: I want my Mommy! Cisna laughs playfully.   Oh god! She’s going in for the kill! Oh, never mind. She’s just reaching for a butterfly. To kill it.  King Silas: Did I ever tell you the story about when I became King? I was standing in a meadow, and that’s when they came. I felt a shadow above me. I looked up and saw a great swarm of butterflies. And they circled around me, like leaves in a storm. Floating. Soft. Landing upon my head like a crown—a living crown! God’s signal… to begin!Seriously, go watch Kings. It’s up on Netflix and Hulu and it was a beautiful poetic series that NBC didn’t know what to do with so they murdered it. Go watch it. Ian McShane will thank you for it. (Probably not, but it’s the thought that counts—and it’s still infinitely better than White Knight Chronicles).  The butterfly takes off to the sky and towards freedom, leaving Leonard and Cisna alone in their now-ruined moment.  Kid Leonard: Well that was kind of— Kid Cisna: Bored now. Bye. Cut to white, aaaaaaand…  We’re back to the present. And there’s your setup for this game’s non-love story: Leonard met Cisna 10 years ago for about five seconds and fell in love-from-afar with her, while in those five seconds she was more infatuated with a butterfly than him. This one moment of misread intent is going to be the genesis of so much pain and frustration for everyone involved in this story in short order. This game has the biggest case of “She’s Just Not That Into You” male/female chemistry since the 2008 Prince of Persia reboot (where the female ‘romantic’ lead also happened to be voiced by Kari Walhgren  ).Because Leonard is an impulsive idiot.  Yulie comes right out of nowhere and dogpiles on Leonard, knocking his dumb rear end to the ground. Almost, at least. Leonard: Woah! Yulie: Heh heh. Leonard. What are you doing? She looks up to see what held the boy’s gaze so attentively.  And she no-likeee. A new challenger appears! Yulie: Hrmm. It’s rude to stare at royalty, you know. Orren: How about jumping on other people’s backs for no good reason? Yulie: I punched out three barons just getting over here, you want some too? Orren: …Maybe? Yulie: Ew. CUTSCENE: It's Showtime! CUTSCENE MUSIC: “Watching the Permenance Band” (Disc 1, Track 9) Let’s see what’s going on outside, shall we?  Again, these guys are up to no good, but my god if they aren’t talented sons of guns.  They’ve even got fire-jugglers!  And their beasts do tricks too!  They’ve even got a midget act—oh wait, it’s just Belcitane.  Someone Who Is Definitely NOT Belcitane: Heh heh heh. Snidely Whiplash, ladies and gentlemen. This is a man confident enough in his character alignment to twirl his mustache with gusto. You see what I mean about why I love Belcitane? The man enjoys the gently caress out of being an evil prick. Someone Who Is Definitely NOT Belcitane: Chaotic Evil For Life. Crowd: Bring back that hot dancing chick! Someone Who Is Definitely NOT Belcitane: Time to blow them away. Someone Who Is Definitely NOT Belcitane: See how subtle I’m being? Someone Who Is Definitely NOT Belcitane: Enough of this charade! This circus has everything. Acrobats, jugglers, fire-dancers, trained beasts, and a quick-change artist. Don’t believe me?  Belcitane throws his maestro’s robe and top hat into the air, aaaand…  He’s changed into his normal attire before they even hit the ground.   Someone Who Definitely IS Belcitane: It’s showtime! Hot drat! …I don’t think that was supposed to happen, actually. I think Belcy’s had a pyrotechnics malfunction and just blew his rear end straight to hell. (Actually you can see him jump off the barge before it goes up in the video)  CUTSCENE MUSIC: “A Worthy Opponent Draws Near” The explosion sends debris flying in all direction and smoke fills the town square.  The peasantry begin to panic, sensing this might not have been a part of the show…    Crowd: Are we getting an encore, or what? A giant flame-spewing monster with a weird helmet-like contraption and a giant cannon on its back lumbers out of the wreckage of the parade barge. How they managed to keep this thing concealed, I don’t know, but I’m kind of impressed. Then again, like I just finished ranting about, Balandor security is kind of wonting.  The beast begins to lumber forward, towards the castle.      RUN AWAY!  RUN AWAY!    The side panels on the other wagons burst open and soldiers and black armour come pouring out.  They start dispersing through the crowd, killing anyone in their path.  This dirty bastard just left his wife and kids to die. He’s looking back one last time as they scream for him before they’re crushed to death before the giant walking tankbeast.  As Pansyass runs away from the slaughter, our old friend the hooded man makes his return, slowly shuffling toward the chaos, dragging his giant wrapped Im100%positiveitsnotaswordoranything.   Hooded Man: What’s this? Hooded Man: No, seriously. I’ve just been wandering around town this whole time. C.C.! Niles! What the hell is going on here? A soldier spots him and readies to attack.  Come on, Maxwell, show us some more cool wizard crap.   Well, I guess that’s kind of magic. I mean, you did just break the laws of spatial reality to whip that robe off, but okay. And for your next trick? I love how the hood maintains its exact form as it flies off of him. It’s almost like they didn’t care to animate in any way resembling how a piece of normal clothing would react in this scene because, well, they just didn’t care. Also, oh hey, it’s that guy from the 2006 Tokyo Game Show con-job trailer. ‘Sup, man?    Hey, a sword is not magic, rear end in a top hat!  The unidentified soldier collapses at dead at his feet. Still, one-hit kill. That’s something, right?  poo poo.  Just.  Got.  REAL.   Mysterious Man: So they’ve found it, too.Um, question! Who are they, and what have they found?  Or you can just run off towards the castle. Eh, whatever, something tells me we’re gonna need a little more badass real soon.   Meanwhile, back with Unwitting Victims Anonymous. CUTSCENE: The Attack on Balandor Castle King Valtos: My noble friends. I thank you all for coming here to celebrate this special day with my daughter. King Valtos: I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve. King Valtos: How proud the late Queen would be. It has been ten years since my beloved wife was lost to me. Noble Crowd: We know… Sarvain: Oh, get over it already. King Valtos: Now where was I? Oh yes… FLORAAAAAAAINE! Cisna: (Don’t worry, you’ll see here again real soon, father.) King Valtos: Today, the daughter the she gave me, my dearest Cisna, celebrates her eighteenth birthday. King Valtos: And to my continued surprise, she is somehow not married yet. Do I have any volunteers from the crowd, while we’re at it? Anyone? Moving on… Sarvain: (I don’t know what’s worse, having to sit through this speech again, or the fact that I have to piss like a racehor—) King Valtos: The kindness you have shown her has made this day possible. King Valtos: I mean it, thank you for not pointing and laughing at her every time you see her. I mean, so what if she’s mute, mutes have done some great things in the past. Why, I’ve been told that one of the merchants who supplied today’s wine was a mute boy. Orren: WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK I CAN’T TALK?! King Valtos: For that you have my deepest gratitude. Please enjoy tonight’s festivities.  King Valtos: Glory to Balandor! Noble Crowd: Glory to… Noble Crowd: What’s this place called again? Oh yeah! Noble Crowd: Balandor!No, seriously, in the video there is like a two second pause where it sounds like they need a moment to remember where the hell they are. And like half the people here are wearing the same dresses and suits. I don’t know if there’s a fantasy anime equivalent to Joan Rivers in this world, but she’s probably died of a stroke by now. [2015 crow: ...oddly prescient on my part, I know .]…Or was killed by the evil circus army. Pick your poison.  CUTSCENE MUSIC: “The Royal Dance”) And the  Back to more dancing. Oh joy.   King Valtos: Ha ha hah. Cisna: (Okay, enough already, after this waltz, I give the signal and its showtime.) Leonard: That’s weird.Yeah, you haven’t been kicked out or thrown in the dungeon yet or anything. I just can’t get over it. Seriously.  Leonard: Doesn’t she look kind of sad to you? Yulie: You think so? Yulie: Well, you know… They say she hasn’t spoken for ten whole years. Not since the Queen was killed. You know, when Faria attacked the castle. King Valtos: FLORAAAAAAINE! Yulie: He seriously needs to get over that. Leonard: Cisna saw that?Bitch, Cisna probably planned that.  The doors suddenly burst wide open. Because, let’s face it, anyone can just wander into the middle of this event at this point now that Leonard, Yulie, and Orren have successfully infiltrated it.  A lone soldier staggers through a side door and the music quickly dies down to silence.  Okay, this is a pretty cool shot, this first-person POV of a wounded, winded soldier stumbling through a crowd of apathetic nobility, miffed that he’s interrupted their dancing.  Again, it’s more of these brief touches of artistry present in the game. They’re fleeting, but you appreciate them all the more when they actually do show up. Also, in the video you can just barely pick out how everyone immediately parts way for the guard to stagger through, yet there’s one or two really oblivious nobles near the back who just keep on dancing. Again, nice touch.    Soldier: Must. Make. Entrance. More. Blatant. He collapses before the throne. Soldier: Urgh! Your Grace! A message! King Valtos: From Batman?Dickbutt jokes, getcha Dickbutt jokes!   King Valtos: This is a celebration! What the devil is it?I love how a guard comes bursting into the room in an utter panic, and Valtos is pissed off that he’s interrupting his party.  Soldier: The town! A terrible monster has attacked, killing…! King Valtos: A monster?! King Valtos: We’re not insured for that! CUTSCENE MUSIC: “Attack” (Disc 1, Track 11) Well, ask and you shall receive. The front end of the castle bursts open and the giant beast charges in.  Yeah, watch out for that one.    Knock knock.  I just love the design of this thing. It’s been hidden in shadows and smoke for the most part, but we’re gonna get some better angles of it real soon. It’s basically like a cross between a Balrog and a tank.  And it’s about to ruin some highborn asses.   See what I mean about these boss subtitles? We don’t even get to fight this thing for like another half an hour, in-game time.  The enemy soldiers come pouring into the castle through the giant gaping hole Pyredaemos just burst through the front wall. “Tank wins every time,” – Troy Baker, Saints Row the Third  Kill ‘em all!  King Valtos: What’s this?Wrong reaction to be having there, buddy.   Cyrus: Oh, poo poo, I’m in the scene. Cisna: (Okay, who jumped the gun—Wait, these aren’t my soldiers. WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?) Leonard and Yulie hear faint rumblings of the commotion, even though it’s taking place like two hundred feet away from them. Seriously, we get to walk around the throne room for reals in White Knight Chronicles II¸ and once you know the actual layout of this place, this scene just get even more ridiculous based on the camera trickery and plot contrivances they use to make everything work.   Anyway, Leonard nearly gets knocked out by Oancitizen here in a mad rush to escape.   Leonard: Hey, what the…?! He rushes off to go see what’s happening. Yulie, meanwhile, holds on to that cake slice like a champ. She isn’t letting something as small as an unprovoked act of terrorism against the crown come between her and her sorbet. Yulie: Huh? What’s going on?   Again, more cool cinematography, and our first clear shot of Pyredaemos, too. Leonard: No way… A monster?! Leonard: How did that get inside the castle?!Leonard clearly missed the giant gaping hole in the front wall directly behind Pyredaemos. Leonard is dumb.  Cyrus: Don’t let them any closer to the King! Cyrus: Attack! Castleguard: RAAAAAAAH!Time for an action scene!     “And in the script it just says ‘they fight’. It saves a lot of time that way…” – George Lucas     Again, credit where it’s due, Level-5 mo-capped the hell out of this scene. It’s about the only scene they did to any actual motion capture work on. Or at least the only one where it really shows through in the animation.   Cyrus sweeps into the fray.    Cyrus: Out of the way, bitch. I’m Nolan North!           I apologize for the number of screenshots without captions. This is, I’m fairly certain, the only big close-quarters combat scene in the duology, and for what it’s worth, it’s choreographed rather well. So I’m indulging the game. It wants to show off, so I’m going to let it. Because it won’t for the most part, from here out.   [WILHELM SCREAM]    Cyrus: Troy Baker ain’t got poo poo on me! Cyrus: …Also, King Kong. I just like this screenshot because, again, it’s emblematic of the moments of subtle artistic talent hidden in this game. In the midst of this giant, badass, anime-style one-man-army beatdown, Cyrus’s sword gets stuck in this guy’s torso, and he has to yank on it a little bit to dislodge it, throwing him off balance. It’s nice little touch, and something I only noticed when doing the prep work for the LP, because it goes by so fast otherwise.   Cyrus: Not today mother— Cyrus: FUCKER!  So yeah, Cyrus is pretty badass. I can’t wait for him to join the party and be all sorts of awes— Why is the game laughing at me?  Cyrus: No! Stand your ground! Your King and castle need you!Why are you saying that to me? I’m not a part of this. nine-gear crow fucked around with this message at 06:10 on Mar 18, 2015 |
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Jan 2, 2014 02:55
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Before we continue with the LP, let’s take a moment to discuss how dumb everyone on either side of this conflict is, and how Belcitane only managed to get the upper hand because Valtos was just that much dumber than him. Okay, so Belcitane’s plot is equal measures of smart and stupid. First of all, it hinges on so many things going just exactly right for him just to make it up to this point. Sneaking into Balandor using the general activity and commotion of Princess Cisna’s 18th birthday as a smoke screen? Smart. Doing so disguised as an incredibly obvious and attention-grabbing circus troop? Not so smart. What if anyone from the Castleguard between there and here demanded that this completely unknown entity of a circus present itself for an inspection on the off chance that they might not be above board? I mean, one guard wouldn’t even let our friend the hooded man go without being inspected on the grounds that he was slightly suspicious before he got mind-raped into submission. Are you saying to me that this was the only competent guard in all of Balandor? Everyone else just waved them through to do their thing? Because I’m pretty sure keeping that army and Pyredaemos under wraps for the entire afternoon and most of the evening was a VERY difficult task, especially when pulling off misdirect on the scale of an entire circus act. Belcitane also happened to pick probably the worst possible time to try and pull off this attack… Or at least he would have had Valtos not been incompetent. Ideally, with both the Princess’s birthday celebration and the arrival of Archduke Dalam’s diplomatic envoy falling on the same day, there should be just as a rule of thumb a heightened security presence in Balandor specifically for those two events, just in case someone actually tried something, like, oh, attacking the castle with an army and a giant flame-making GBS threads hell beast. Not only that, the army should be in a state of extra-special vigilance seeing as how the man they’re playing host to is notable thus far for nearly burning Balandor Castletown to the ground as part of a long and racially engrained war between the two great kingdoms. We’ve seen that Cyrus is leery towards Farians on principle, so why not make sure every available soldier is on hand around the clock between now and when Dalam departs just in case he maybe tries to pull off the same thing Belcitane just did? You know, trust-but-verify? And then there’s the issue of the Farian detachment currently in Balandor with Dalam. Dalam brought a large number of soldiers with him to this peace treaty confab, including members of the Farian Red Guard, their own version of the Castleguard. Belcitane decided to pick a fight with not just one, but two whole armies and two whole nations. You’ll see in a couple of screenshots later on and in the videos that there are Farian corpses dotting the floor of the castle, meaning that the Farian army was involved in this fight too, quite heavily, I might add. What was Belcitane’s plan if the two nations put this whole ‘peaceful co-operation’ thing to the test and joined forces to fend off his army? Suppose they were able to mount a co-ordinated defence against Pyredaemos? What then? But alas, none of this happened because Valtos is a naïve idiot. In the name of welcoming Dalam in peace, he doesn’t post any additional guards or troops inside Balandor just in case something terrible happens either accidentally or intentionally. In the name of making buying his daughter’s happiness with empty gestures, he allows a strange, unverified, unknown circus troupe into the city to perform a show that she doesn’t even get to attend anyway. And because he’s unable to foresee any possible danger on this, the most important day in his entire reign thus far, he doesn’t even bother to secure his castle from the most obtuse of infiltrations by a trio of commoners who got inside with a wine wagon as their potential cover. He was even legitimately pissed off that that guard came stumbling into the throne room in an obvious panic and interrupted his party instead of immediately asking what the problem was. Then there’s also the boneheaded decision to schedule the treaty negotiations for the same day as Cisna’s 18th birthday celebration, thus taking two high profile, high priority target events and combining them into one gigantic extremely high profile and high priority target event that practically calls out to any potential ne’er-do-well to try and start something during it. I’m assuming that there is at least an armistice on between Faria and Balandor at the moment that has allowed for Dalam to even come here all the way from Faria, so what is the risk in putting a little more distance between these events? Now, we’re not going to get a peek inside Farian internal politics until the second game, but I’m going to assume that up to this point, Dalam had enough control over his country that he could hold off going back to war for maybe another month at the very least, right? Plus, there’s been no signs from everything we’ve seen thus far that Balandor is under any potential threat of falling back into war with Faria, so again why not put a buffer down so you can be better prepared to negotiate a treaty unencumbered and uncompressed by the concerns surrounding a royal birthday party too? But alas, no. So Belcitane scores first blood because the story demands it, not because he pulled off a particularly clever gambit or ploy that outmaneuvered Valtos and Dalam's troops and intelligence in a creative way. Instead, because the attack must happen in order for the story to start properly, they don’t even bother coming up with a convincing reason for it happening, and so King Valtos comes off looking like a complete idiot who gets blindsided on his home turf on a day when you’d think the entire apparatus of his regime would be on its game like nobody’s business. I mean, yeah, when it comes to it there is little you can do to argue with a walking tank outside of throwing out your own walking tank to meet it head-on, but a little more prep work would have solved a lot of these problems before they even got to this point. As such, the failure continues unabated.  CUTSCENE: Dial R For 'Regicide' Meanwhile, like literally 20 feet away.  This is what you get when you don’t use certified contractors.   Cisna: (Worst birthday ever.) King Valtos: Cisna! Quickly, this way! .jpg) They run towards the staircase to nowhere, I mean the upper levels of the castle, in a desperate bid for freedom. King Valtos: Hurry! Quickly! Cisna: (No, I’m just gonna take my time and die.) Valtos comes to a dead stop half way up the stars, a look of shock and horror in his eyes.   Oh dear.  CUTSCENE MUSIC: “Regicide” (Unreleased Track) It’s this guy.  King Valtos: Darth Vader! General Dragias: I’m sorry, what?Hang on. Where the hell did Dragias come from? The evil army burst in through the front door of the castle, which is actually down several levels from the throne where Valtos and Cisna are right now. Yet Dragias is coming down the stairs from higher up in the castle and in front of his troops’ point of ingress. …Did he parachute onto the roof or something? Because if that’s true, that’s AWESOME! I want to see that happen. Someone draw this happening! King Valtos: How did you… General Dragias: Unlike everyone else in this story, I’m competent. That’s how. This can’t end well…  King Valtos: I peed a little. General Dragias: So much for dying with dignity. And with that, Cisna has been a firsthand witness to both of her parent’s violent, senseless murders. It’s a tow’fer, folks. And talk about bookends, while her mother’s death shocked her into silence, her father’s death shocks her back into locution. Cisna: Father…  Cisna: NOOOOOOOOO!!! Cisna: I wanted to kill you first! This was not how I planned this! Cisna: Father, please! Please don’t die! Cisna: …Yet. King Valtos: Ah, Cisna… At last, I hear your voice again. How I have missed… Missed the sound of it. Cisna: Father! King Valtos: Seriously though… What was that about… killing me? Cisna: Please father, don’t speak. You’re hallucinating. King Valtos: I’m bleeding through… my spleen. Cisna: Ew. King Valtos: Go… You must. My… beautiful daughter. Cisna: No, I won’t leave you! I don’t want to be alone. Please, father. No. King Valtos: I tried to fix you up with a husband, but all you said was— Cisna: No! King Valtos: Pretty much. HRUGH! Oh crap, I think I’m actually dying now. Farewell my sweet daughter. Carry me in your heart as I carried your mother: blatantly and obtrusively. And… Urgh! Avenge my death… General Dragias: How Shakespearean. Oh well, time to go two-for-two. Dragias readies his blade for the coup de grace.  Cisna: If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you could ever— General Dragias: Heard it before. Spoiler alert: no, you won’t. And just like that, Cisna’s glorious reign as Queen of Balandor comes to an end after a middling 15 seconds, tops.  ZOUNDS! What madness is this?  Aw poo poo. YOU’RE NOT HELPING THINGS, LEONARD! AND WHERE DID YOU GET A SWORD FROM?!  Cisna: My… hero?Yeah, don’t count on it, darling.  General Dragias: Okay, what the hell? REALLY? How old are you kid, like 12? And yet a flash of bravado and a quick semi-competent sword move appears to be enough to knock Dragias off balance and provide a window for their escape. I swear, it’s like this guy has upper body strength of a 70 year-old man or something.   Leonard: Princess! This way!  General Dragias: Whatever…Um, far be it from me to question your tactics, general, but they’re not running away all that fast and this castle isn’t that big. You sure you’re not going to go after them or anything? I mean, to just up and leave seems kind of lazy, if you know what I— General Dragias: I said WHATEVER!Oh, screw you then. Christ, even the bad guys half-rear end their way through stuff in this game.  Cisna: Father!! Leonard: Come on! We have to go, or they’ll kill you! Cisna: B-but… my father!!! Cisna: …’s crown! I need that to prove I’m Queen now! Leonard has no concern, however, for the Viking funeral Cisna has planned for her dearly departed father and continues to forcibly drag her down the stairs, nearly causing her to trip over her own dress and come tumbling down right on top of him because he's a klutz. All the while, tears continue to stream down Cisna’s face as she realizes just how much of a catastrophe tonight has turned into.  Leonard: Quick! This way!Yeah, like you know your way around a castle you just stepped foot in for the first time 20 minutes ago and have only seen through peeking glances amidst a throng of people. Jackass.  He suddenly stops mid-step, having spotted something ahead of him. Something shocking, from all outward appearances.  General Dragias. …But how? He was heading up the stairs in the opposite direction! How is he down here giving orders? Mysterious villain is mysterious. General Dragias is not capable of teleportation, FYI.    Or maybe a plot contrivance, I always get those two mixed up. Anyway, the battle continues unabated despite the presence/absence of Schrödinger’s Dragias.  Leonard: This way!  You keep saying that like it means something. Well, this part of the castle has gone completely to poo poo. Let’s check in with Cyrus and Archduke Dalam to see how they’re making out in the meanwhile…  SON OF A BITCH! Cyrus: Your Excellency! Archduke Dalam!  Archduke Dalam: …Tell everyone my last words were… ’gently caress Ban Nanazel.’ I hate that guy… Cyrus: Seriously! You weren’t even stabbed or anything! How did this happen? Because the plot demands it to happen! Dalam’s eyes roll back into his head in that classic “I’m dead” expression, and he collapses in Cyrus’s arms. Rest now, O mighty Lord of the Awesome Chair. You will be avenged, I swear it.  Castleguardsman: Gods… I can’t believe it. Castleguardsman: Seriously! Nobody touched him! Say what you will about Cyrus’s prejudices, the man takes his job seriously. Failure is NOT an option for this man. This is the face of a man who has just realized the crushing truth that he is a character in White Knight Chronicles, Failure: The Game. Cyrus: drat! This was a mistake. Our peace just died with him. Another Castleguardsman: Your Grace… Sir Cyrus! The King! Cyrus: What about him? The guardsman rushes in to tell Cyrus the awful truth, in one of those clichéd inaudible whisper to deliver shocking news type moments.  Cyrus: Aw shiiiit, I am soooooo FIRED! CUTSCENE: Escaping the Chaos Is there ANYWHERE in this castle that’s not on fire?  We return to Leonard blindly dragging Cisna through the inferno to what he foolishly assumes will be somewhere safe.  Of course, it’s pretty impractical to go running around in a full-length ball gown. Add in her being wracked with grief and shock, and it’s only natural that Cisna trips and takes a spill on the carpet.    Seriously, how has everyone not died from smoke inhalation or something yet? Everyone who even survives this massacre is a shoe-in for Black Lung, at the very least.  CUTSCENE MUSIC: "Recollection" Leonard: Come on. I won’t let them get you. Not you.You’ve known her for like four minutes, how attached to her can you possibly be, anyway?  Cisna: Who are you? Leonard: I’m Leonard. Cisna: Why did you…? He of course flashes back to their fateful meeting in the garden. He remembers it perfectly, like it was the most important day of his small, menial life. Cisna? For her, it was Tuesday.  I have no idea how he’s able to remember the look on his face back then, but whatever.  Leonard: Well… Leonard: It’s just, I care about you, you know? Cisna: What?Her first time talking in ten years and her dialog thus far has consisted of W5 questions. Wonderful. Also note the look of confused disinterest on her face when Leonard tells her he’s got feelings for her.  Leonard: Uh. I mean… Leonard: What? Girls? Ew. I don’t like girls. Especially princesses. Yeah… Ummm…On the one hand, this is an anime-as-hell physical overreaction to the realization of unintended intimate contact with a member of the opposite sex. And yet, still, good on Leonard for having a momentary flash of higher brain function and realising he’s being kind of creepily physical with a) a woman FAR above his social standing, and b) someone he’s known for less than five minutes, their present situation be damned. I get the impulse to want to physically comfort someone during a time of crisis and severe emotional trauma, but maybe wait until you’re out of the danger zone and there’s no risk of the architecture dislodging and crushing you to death before you try and make it to first base with your new Queen, eh sport?  Leonard: We all do… care about you, I mean. Leonard: Your kingdom loves and needs you!  Cisna: Yeah, nice save, prettyboy.This is the face of a woman who is not buying what he’s selling, yet going along with it because she realises this random peasant boy who’s come out of literally nowhere and has no reason to even be here is probably her best shot at seeing the sunrise tomorrow morning.  Leonard does the gentlemanly thing and offers his future Empress of All Creation a hand back to her feet. …In the midst of the giant smoking ruin of the castle. SERIOUSLY! WHY IS EVERYTHING ON FIRE?!  Upsidaisy!  Well they make a lovely couple, don’t they? So I suppose it’s only a matter of moments before Cisna joins the party too. We’ve been lacking a straight-up mage character so far, so maybe… Why is the game laughing at me again? Also, again pointing out how short Leonard is. He’s barely taller than Cisna  A loud crash startles our two budding lovebird and they look to see what fresh hell approaches.  HOW DID YOU MISS THIS STUFF GOING ON RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU?!   Pyredaemos lumbers its way closer and closer to Leonard and Cisna. What few Balandor soldiers who stand between them and the fiery beast probably don’t stand a chance, yet they throw themselves at it regardless.  Cisna: A lordship to the man who kills that beast in my name! Castleguardsmen: It will be done my, Princes—OW! GODS! IT BURNS! Cisna: When this lunacy’s over with, I am totally getting myself one of these things. Leonard can do nothing but look on in horror as the soldiers all get trampled by Pyredaemos. But he’s startled by a familiar (to us) voice crying out from the distance. Mysterious Man: Are you survivors?What kind of dumb question is that, Maxwell?   Mysterious Man: This way! To the cellars!Okay, it’s good that you have a practical destination in mind, dude, but like again, how do you know where the cellars are? Have you been here before or something? If so, why were you sneaking into the city like a shifty creep at the start of the game?  Dutch angle…  Zoom in!  Leonard: Let’s go! Cisna: Yeah, because I clearly have no say in the matter. This is only my goddamn castle, you know. I barely know YOU, let along this guy! But, alas, Leonard isn’t one to think these kinds of higher thoughts, especially in the midst of a crisis. So he takes her hand (at least it’s an upgrade over dragging her around by the wrist) and absconds with her in the direction of the suspicious caped man with the wild hair offering a convenient escape from the chaos.   Although complications love to unfurl themselves in this game and a whole pile of rubble comes falling down from the ceiling, right in Leonard and Cisna’s path.   Leonard: Dammit! We’re trapped! Cisna: No we’re not, I can see the way around it from here. We could hop over it, for crying out loud. Leonard: Oh gods! There’s no way out. Mysterious Man: Oh for gods’s sakes! Luckily, Leonard does realise there is in fact a way around the pile of rubble, and he escorts Cisna towards the man in the robes and towards the cellars.   Meanwhile, on the other other side of the castle:  Yulie: Leonard? Where are you? Leonard!!!Save yourself, dear. He’s not worth it.  Orren: Oh crap… Ah, Yulie…   Castleguardsman: Hrugh! The enemy soldier spots Yulie and makes a b-line for her. Because nothing says “I’m a badass, fear me,” like murdering a defenceless 90 lb. girl with purple hair.  I feel like the Jaws theme should be playing right now.  Yulie: Oh gods, I regret everything!  Nice work, Leonard. You leave your best friend and adoptive sister to die horribly at the hands of some mook soldier while you run off to save a girl you’ve known for like five seconds, total. Our ‘hero,’ ladies and gentlemen. Oh well, goodbye Yulie. Give Fiora my regards when you see her in “female RPG characters killed off two hours into the game Heaven”.  But wait! Look at this! Maxwell Sheffield himself comes charging out of the smoke and flames to save the day!  OBVIOUS SLASH SOUND EFFECT!   Mysterious Man: Am I interrupting something? This angle is just all sorts of weird. I’m getting vertigo just looking at it. Mysterious Man: Can you stand? Yulie: Aw! Mistah Sheeeeeefieeeeld! Unlike Leonard, Max here doesn’t both to help Yulie up, probably because he knows she’s capable of standing on her own. And he’d probably break a hip trying to help her up again. Look at him, he’s in his early 50’s. By JRPG standards, the guy is practically mathuselan.  Yulie: Uh-huh! Yulie: Hey, buster! Where were you when I was about to get cut in half back there? Orren: I just killed like five guys who were trying to sneak up on you. Yulie: Reeeeealy now?In all seriousness, there’s very little I can do to patch up this part of the game for the Avatar, no matter how much narrative bullshit I use. We’ve beat this point into the ground in the discussion already, but it bears repeating: the Avatar character is a non-entity story and action-wise. The game takes great pains to ensure he or she has absolutely no role in the plot and does not involve himself or herself in any actual scripted fight scenes. The 113th Congress of the United States is a more productive entity than the Avatar, who becomes, in essence, an avatar for the wasted potential of White Knight Chronicles as a whole. What can I say beyond that? I’m trying. The game isn’t even meeting me half way.  Yulie: Eh, whatever. Yulie: Let’s go! And so, inspired by an actually competent leader, Yulie and Orren rush out into battle along with the mysterious stranger, a battle that we don’t get to see, because it involved the Avatar actually doing some physical fighting, and God forbid we get to see any of that. Also, I apologize for the medieval leather pantyshot I’m closing out this chapter with. It’s simply a sad combination of a bad camera angle, screenshot timing, and the fact that Yulie’s default clothing was custom designed to be the perfect blend of anime and fantasy and to specifically allow for maximum pantyshot potential. I would say “in all fairness, at least she’s 18,” but that’s not a valid excuse, especially here of all places. I wanted to try and play through the game using everyone’s default equipment for consistency’s sake, but I’m seriously considering equipping Yulie with an actual pair of pants to try and mitigate a lot of these needless fan service-y moments because they’re something I’ve come to absolutely despise in JRPGs lately.  See what I mean about fate intervening? The old man just appearing out of nowhere was completely random, but you know what? I wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth. He seemed to know what he was doing, which was a lot more than I could say about Leonard, so I decided right there that it might be worth it to stick with this guy, if only to make it through this night alive. Yulie thought much the same. Neither of us really stopped to ponder what happened to Leonard at that point. Personally, I kind of hoped he’d been killed in the melee. Little did I know though he was rushing blindly into an encounter that would change the course of history for Balandor, Faria, and the whole drat world. Had I known then what I know now about what he was about to get us into, I’d have rushed after him and killed him myself… 
nine-gear crow fucked around with this message at 06:12 on Mar 18, 2015 |
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Jan 2, 2014 02:55
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I think you just covered one of the main problems in the game, Cisna and Leonard have known each other for 5 minutes tops, she doesn't remember him, hell as a child she was only interested in the butterfly and didn't care about him. and yet they act like they are so in love and known each other forever. They have that stupid loving lake dance which totally isn't Tidus kissing Yuna, despite having known each other for less than an hour. And they just go on, and loving on. I'm going to be pretty blatant, any character Leonard had is now gone. Cisna is his existence. He will spend the time in town/the field talking about Cisna, he will constantly scream "CISNA!" he is utterly enthralled and in love with a woman he's know for less than an hour.
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Jan 2, 2014 03:31
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nine-gear crow posted:
This is the part that more or less killed the game for me. The Avatar was right next to her. Why couldn't he/she do the saving instead of having Deus Ex Maxwell come out of nowhere and save the day? I remember playing a little bit more after this part, but after that I just stopped playing it because I just could not be bothered to. I'm just glad I rented it.
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Jan 2, 2014 03:40
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Orren: I just killed like five guys who were trying to sneak up on you.
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nine-gear crow posted:Also, I apologize for the medieval leather pantyshot I’m closing out this chapter with. It’s simply a sad combination of a bad camera angle, screenshot timing, and the fact that Yulie’s default clothing was custom designed to be the perfect blend of anime and fantasy and to specifically allow for maximum pantyshot potential. I would say “in all fairness, at least she’s 18,” but that’s not a valid excuse, especially here of all places. I wanted to try and play through the game using everyone’s default equipment for consistency’s sake, but I’m seriously considering equipping Yulie with an actual pair of pants to try and mitigate a lot of these needless fan service-y moments because they’re something I’ve come to absolutely despise in JRPGs lately. Do it, please. It won't fix the game, but at least we won't get pantyshots.
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Jan 2, 2014 03:49
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Hell just equip everyone in whatever. I honestly like the fact that your armor changes depending on what you wear.
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Jan 2, 2014 03:55
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Onmi posted:I think you just covered one of the main problems in the game, Cisna and Leonard have known each other for 5 minutes tops, she doesn't remember him, hell as a child she was only interested in the butterfly and didn't care about him. and yet they act like they are so in love and known each other forever. They have that stupid loving lake dance which totally isn't Tidus kissing Yuna, despite having known each other for less than an hour. And they just go on, and loving on. Maybe Cisna really is a demon. Perhaps a succubus? OP might be able to use that in his narrative but that depends on the rest of this
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Jan 2, 2014 04:03
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nine-gear crow posted:I’m seriously considering equipping Yulie with an actual pair of pants to try and mitigate a lot of these needless fan service-y moments because they’re something I’ve come to absolutely despise in JRPGs lately. I really don't understand the problem. I honestly wouldn't have noticed that shot if it hadn't been pointed out, and I imagine the same could be said for most of the others we'll apparently see. It's your LP, but I think you can trust most goons not to be incredible pervs and go looking for the pantyshots. 
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Jan 2, 2014 04:06
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Onmi posted:I think you just covered one of the main problems in the game, Cisna and Leonard have known each other for 5 minutes tops, she doesn't remember him, hell as a child she was only interested in the butterfly and didn't care about him. and yet they act like they are so in love and known each other forever. They have that stupid loving lake dance which totally isn't Tidus kissing Yuna, despite having known each other for less than an hour. And they just go on, and loving on. That's something I've always found funny about their relationship, because beyond token gestures like the lake dance, Cisna has zero romantic interest in Leonard as a person. It's all him. He becomes obsessed with her. Cisna on the other hand, while she comes to care for Leonard as a person, as a friend, and, somewhat more callously, as a weapon, she's clearly not in love with him. Hence why I'm able to write her as more of a detached tyrant in my narrative because she doesn't seem to care what happens to him beyond "well, poo poo, there goes my Incorruptus".
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Jan 2, 2014 04:09
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I kinda like some of the plot points of the story. I do actually like how one of the plot holes in the update is resolved. What I am disappointed in is that the Avatar is loving invisible during everything. I guess it would be difficult to mo-cap a random variable in a fight scene, but they do everything else for it just fine. I like my method, where my Avatar has a constant face of dumbfounded surprise and stupidity. I like to think that he's too shocked by the idiocy of the game to speak.
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Jan 2, 2014 04:24
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nine-gear crow posted:That's something I've always found funny about their relationship, because beyond token gestures like the lake dance, Cisna has zero romantic interest in Leonard as a person. It's all him. He becomes obsessed with her. Cisna on the other hand, while she comes to care for Leonard as a person, as a friend, and, somewhat more callously, as a weapon, she's clearly not in love with him. Hence why I'm able to write her as more of a detached tyrant in my narrative because she doesn't seem to care what happens to him beyond "well, poo poo, there goes my Incorruptus". No seriously this is some pretty major poo poo under here. I just feel the need to get it out. The fact that Cisna is a reincarnation of whatever of the queen the Incorruptus were created to kill, specifically because her army was completely kicking the ever loving poo poo out of the guys who made them. It always seems like in the end she should have turned out to be a villain. Because the actual backstory is that she beat these guys utterly senseless and in desperation they created the Incorruptus to protect them and fight back. And then she sends them to the future. Seriously how is that the backstory of a good guy?! "Oh my army was utterly trashing these dudes until they desperately made loving gundams just to fight back. But I'm totes a wonderful queen." I mean if WKC3 was leading up to "Hey it turns out Cisna was evil all along" I would both not be shocked (because seriously look at that backstory) and be surprised that WKC had the balls to go there! All I can say is between Yulie and the guys we have left to recruit, and Cyrus who we never end up getting because gently caress YOU WHITE KNIGHT CHRONICLES I still had half a cast that I could enjoy being around. Caeser is a really cool dude and I enjoyed the hell out of the fact he was clearly enjoying himself. Anyway, that's enough of me turning this thread into a CIA document, I'll wait until we get there. I am almost morbidly compelled to start playing along, my WKC 2 disk is just... glaring at me. Hell my WKC 1 disk is still there, judging me as well with its slow as poo poo combat.
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Jan 2, 2014 04:32
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And a random reference to Kings out of nowhere. Pretty one at that. The show had potential but it spent too much time trying to make sure people didn't have a mental goddamn breakdown over a book of the bible being used as inspiration for a show.
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Jan 2, 2014 04:40
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Onmi posted:All I can say is between Yulie and the guys we have left to recruit, and Cyrus who we never end up getting because gently caress YOU WHITE KNIGHT CHRONICLES I still had half a cast that I could enjoy being around. My thoughts exactly. Leonard aside, I actually rather enjoy the main cast of both games. It's just that Leonard cast a long shadow over all of them because he's a terrible screw up and a brainless failure of a person. Lazyfire posted:And a random reference to Kings out of nowhere. Pretty one at that. The show had potential but it spent too much time trying to make sure people didn't have a mental goddamn breakdown over a book of the bible being used as inspiration for a show. I'm glad someone appreciated that. I just saw "butterfly landing on head" and screamed "KINGS!" when I first played the game, so I just had to make that reference in the LP.
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Jan 2, 2014 04:41
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I find it amusing that Yulie decides "gently caress it, someone has got to supervise lenoard, might as well get cake" and then just rolls with it until things go wrong.
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Jan 2, 2014 04:45
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nine-gear crow posted:My thoughts exactly. Leonard aside, I actually rather enjoy the main cast of both games. It's just that Leonard cast a long shadow over all of them because he's a terrible screw up and a brainless failure of a person. I also don't really like Eldore because outside of Maxwell Sheffield (Which was amazing mind you) he doesn't really do anything but... well... be old. I know that's cause he's REALLY OLD but it drags. Speaking of dragging? Since you mentioned it by name I wont spoil it but the game was... in my eyes anyway? merely fairly mediocre to alright until loving Greede. The town before hand had an annoying quest but that was okay, and beyond Eldore being boring and Leonard being stupid and the one other thing that's annoying, it was fairly okay. Not a great, amazing game, but it was "Eh, sure I can play this, kind of disappointed but it's not that bad." Then Greede happens. And whoever designed that questline needs to be loving shot. Also, forgot to mention, Boss's with subtitles is another thing from Dark Cloud as all the bosses would indeed have subtitles... Of course with Dark Cloud there was only about 6 true bosses in the game and they were reserved for the end of the dungeons, but that's where it comes from. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQ-CrxaxPYo Dark Cloud was very much "Not-Zelda"
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Jan 2, 2014 04:59
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Yapping Eevee posted:I really don't understand the problem. I honestly wouldn't have noticed that shot if it hadn't been pointed out, and I imagine the same could be said for most of the others we'll apparently see. It's the casual objectification of women in games that's the problem. If it's not noticeable to someone, it's because the issue may have become normalized for them. I picked up on it right away (and I know other people did too)--but then I may just be hyper-aware of the problem. I don't want a  to be opened in the thread, though, as the issue is often a huge derailleur (threads about it in the games forum often get closed). So, this thread probably isn't the place to discuss it. However, I don't think there's anything wrong with Crow pointing it out and acknowledging its existence in the game.That said, I, too, vote that Yulie gets pants.
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Jan 2, 2014 10:04
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I'm lovely at drawing and only have a lovely replica for photoshop, but this discussion reminded me of something so I had to do it. I just want some pants, a decent pair of pants.Also count that as my vote.
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Jan 2, 2014 10:18
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You sons of bitches. Now I've got to go back and redo like eight chapters worth of footage capture, all because you want pants. Here:  This is how that scene plays out with pants. Are we happy now? (Cutscene videos are uploading as we speak. It shouldn't be more than another hour or so).
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Jan 2, 2014 11:24
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Pleased as punch. EDIT: can I also vote that Orren gets a hat? I think Orren should have hat. EDIT EDIT: do they have hats in Balandor, or would that get in the way of the main characters' faces?
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Jan 2, 2014 11:30
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Blind Sally posted:Pleased as punch. Funnily enough, one of the equipment options they added for the second game is headgear, and it crosses over into the enhanced remake of the first game. Sadly it falls under the category of capes, so in order to equip it we would be sacrificing that sweetass fur muffler on his jacket. HOWEVER one of the hat options we get eventually is that sick giant tophat Belcitane was sporting in this last update, so at the very least I will get you some screenshots of Orren rocking that thing around town in a little while. EDIT: Here's some cutscenes! ● 3.1 - The Wine Delivery / Sneaking into the Castle ● 3.2 - The Royal Ball / Leonard Remembers ● 3.3 - It's Showtime! ● 3.4 - The Attack on Balandor Castle ● 3.5 - Dial R for 'Regicide' ● 3.6 - Escaping the Chaos Also... As it turns out, headgear and capes aren't mutually exclusive. So, that means:  Well, now that King Valtos is dead, this place needs a new ruler. Presenting His Grace King Orren di Balandor, First of his Name.  See, told ya you get to wear Belcitane's top hat.  Dang, if only it came in brown it would have matched the rest of the outfit.  What are we going mining now?  No, guys, seriously, I am totally a member of the Castleguard...  And it was on this day that Orren realized his life-long dream of owning the tallest hat ever.  Well, it looks like someone's been attending the Zechs Merquise school of helmetry.  Oh god, what the hell is this?!  WHY DOES IT KEEP GETTING WORSE?!  Well, at the very least I now have the requisite number of horns to stake a claim to the throne of Faria. Hell, Dalam doesn't need that sweetass chair any more, right? nine-gear crow fucked around with this message at 12:37 on Jan 2, 2014 |
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Jan 2, 2014 11:37
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I say just play the game and swap armors, the game is one of the few that has that feature and is a JRPG, might as well show it off.
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Jan 2, 2014 12:15
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What's wrong with the purple cowboy hat? Orren's just showing his appreciation for the Third Street Saints.
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Jan 2, 2014 18:48
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