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 Ok it's time to get started. Let me read off some flavor text first and we'll begin. Ahem. \  When everyone is ready to start, the event coordinator should read the following. Hmm. Don't think I was supposed to say that out loud. Ah, here we go. The sun is rising high over the eastern ridgeline, illuminating the Floshin Estate, a graceful keep of wood and stone built in the willowy architecture of the elves. Beneath the estate, you meet a number of adventurers, including Sir Isteval, your friend and patron. Also present is a male dwarf with wild brown hair, a smiling and well-dressed male Calishite, a silver-haired half-elf clad in worn leather armor, and a human-sized figure in a dark cloak. You recognize the half-elf as Kelson Darktreader. Sir Isteval speaks first: “My friends!” Isteval says. “The Sword Coast is safer now, but the Red Wizards still scheme against us. We must end the threat completely, and we now have the chance to do just that. “We know gently caress. gently caress, I don't think I can do this. I can't deal with these goddamn NPCs taking the spotlight. Who writes this poo poo? Alright, forget that, let me make a few changes and start over... \  For years you have battled the forces of the dreaded Thayans, the Red Wizards. Their bastion at Bloodgate Keep has proven impenetrable. From a portal deep within the keep, their armies are vomited forth, teleported to your lands from the far away realm of Thay. Even now their vast army of undead terrors and monstrous creations lurks outside your walls. When the order to attack comes, none of you may survive. Tonight you are secure in your keep, Castle Tartarus, one of the last bastions of safety remaining in the land. Hope has been nearly lost and your men despair at the odds. Only one last, desperate chance remains. You must rely on a traitor. A turncoat has joined your side. Mennek of the Red Wizard stands before you now, about to brief you one last time on a dangerous plan.  "As I said before, I have worked at the Bloodgate itself. The gate is powered by elemental energy, living sacrifices and the will of the lich Tarul Var. All three of those elements will need to be disrupted to close the gate and end the threat of Bloodgate Keep." "Four elemental nodes power the keep: one each of earth, air, fire and water. At the center of each node is a 'key' of sorts; escape from the node with it, and the node itself will collapse. Then you'll be transported to the Bloodgate Nexus, where you must disrupt the sacrifices and deal with the lich." "It's all quite simple, really. Only one question remains: which nodes shall I teleport you to?"
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May 7, 2014 01:59
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The initial parties have been formed. You can always swap people around later on. Team Golden Balls  slydingdoor - Folhapreta,  goodness - wizard halloween jack - Bronan the Brobarian, fighter doctor idle - Pragor Krakskull, half orc barbarian vire - Justice McHeropants, paladin Team Hearthttp://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3632094  ryuujin - Montgomery Williams, fighter1/rogue1/bard4 kingcom - KRAG HACK, cleric cloud potato - July Shieldheart, cleric covok - Sandy Roads, bard Father Wendigo - Gortto Dukakis, rogue Achievements  Smart enough to play a wizard in D&D: goodness Picked last: covok as Sandy Roads the bard First player smart enough to quit: Hashtags Best photoshop: goodness's cheeseburgerbolt Max Damage: Krag with 135 from a Turn Undead Harassed the GM until he got into the game: pd0t Best Move: Fol Jordan dunking a demilich down to 1hp. Worst Character Ever: Montgomery Williams. Hey let me tank with this bard   Best Character Ever: Krag Hack, duh. Honorable mention to Steven Colbert. Best NPC: Tarul Var, Lich of the Year Best D&D Edition Ever: 5e 5e 5e 5e(12:19:09 AM) Kai_Tave: I'm telling you, the next big thing in SA PbP is going to be ironic Next games. (12:29:52 AM) Kai_Tave: I'm gonna be honest here Ritorix you're doing the best with a bad situation but Dead in Thay looks like poo poo (7:25:38 PM) Ritorix: no math fixes because the math is so hosed just leave it be (12:20:40 AM) pd0t: basically Krag is the central cog of this whole operation (12:23:52 AM) pd0t: Just let that sink in. (12:33:46 AM) king_com: krag is the hero next deserves (10:56:15 PM) FatherWendigo: if Krag Hakk is the PC this game deserves, you are the DM it deserves. Past players  hashtag - Smash Stonefist, monkIRC is #deadinthay on synirc.  In your possession are a linked pair of circlets of limited telepathy. One to each team captain, though they can give them to anyone. They allow instant mental communication to the wearer of the matching circlet. The wearer can post directly in the other wearer's game thread whenever they want, to share information and intel or just taunt them. ritorix fucked around with this message at 00:29 on Jul 9, 2014 |
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May 7, 2014 02:39
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Montgomery Williams After conferring with the other forthright individual that put themselves forward Montgomery managed to split the group of would be adventurers into two groups, one accompanying him and the other accompanying the fly orbited wood elf, this Folhapreta. The elf has managed to surround himself with some hefty looking individuals, still Montgomery looks at his group and does not feel like he really came out all that bad. He confers with the group, and tries to come up with a team name for ease of use, but one of the two clerics keeps speaking up. A brash individual, who seems prone to rushing into danger, a man by the name of KRAG HACK. A seasoned adventurer who has somehow managed to survive some terrible odds, despite his tendency to rush straight into danger. KRAG HACK keeps bringing up Heart, and eventually to appease him the name inadvertently becomes Team Heart. This will probably change at some later time, but for now it will have to do. Then they get down to trying to decide which node to tackle first. After some debate it is finally decided, mostly by KRAG HACK again, that Fire would be a good idea. It will likely hurt, but any hurts should be a simple matter for the group to heal with their plentiful healing magics. So Montgomery turns to Mennek. "We will tackle the Fire node first."
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May 7, 2014 02:53
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Folhapreta The thief doesn't mess around, he knows his team's name. Not heart. Team Golden Balls. Those two things were all that mattered in this hosed up world. "Earth node please." There were bound to be precious stones and metals in such a place, that should be liberated before the key is removed and the whole node collapses.
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May 7, 2014 03:05
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KRAG HACK Krag Hack beams with pride at the naming of the group though not understanding why it needed a name. Still, this mean't they would finally go and hit things which Krag always like. He looked down to see Hug Hug reach out his hands as these adventures always started, ready to be scooped up and put on Krag's shoulders. With one movement Hug was placed in scouting position, a quick pat on the head for Cid and they were ready to move.
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May 7, 2014 03:16
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"A brave choice! Good luck, Team Heart." Mennek quickly casts a teleport spell, whisking team two out of the thread. He then turns towards the remaining team bound for the earth node. "Seriously, who in their right mind choose fire? Oh well. Good luck out there. Remember: find the key, stop the sacrifices, kill the lich." Team Golden Balls disappears in a flash. The last thing you hear is a distant "Goodluck, Balls!"  click for bigger, duh You find yourselves surrounded by a ring of great, uneven stone slabs thrust up from the center of a dusty chamber. Most of the slabs go all the way to the ceiling. Most... All have gaps between them, revealing a larger area and many passages beyond the ring. What do you do? ritorix fucked around with this message at 04:03 on May 7, 2014 |
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May 7, 2014 03:24
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ritorix posted:What do you do? Ganja Elf Team Golden Balls Ganja blinks his eyes and looks around, mystified, for a couple seconds at the new surroundings. With a casual shrug he slowly starts puffing on his wand and, to the surprise of the others, blows elaborate smoke shapes into the air. goodness fucked around with this message at 03:40 on May 7, 2014 |
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May 7, 2014 03:35
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I must congratulate you on being in Team Golden Balls. Look whats happening to those idiots in Team Heart over in the other thread. \
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May 7, 2014 03:44
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ritorix posted:I must congratulate you on being in Team Golden Balls. Look whats happening to those idiots in Team Heart over in the other thread. 
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May 7, 2014 03:47
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Folhapreta The thief stalks and steals the smoke shapes, hiding them under his cloak. Then he checks the ring from a distance for signs of moving parts. Perhaps the old sliding door trick, or the unnecessary drawbridge. Perception: 2d20k1+9 17
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May 7, 2014 03:53
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Folhapreta's keen eye notices patches of sandy terrain surrounding the ring. It's the darker-brown stuff to the north, west, east and south on the map below. That would be hard to walk in.
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May 7, 2014 03:58
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Team Heart - Telepathy Montgomery Williams HP: 35/42 Folhapreta can hear a mental voice, Montgomery tries to contact him with a brief update. Folhapreta - "Well the Fire Node is predictably surrounded by a ring of fire, a little singed here, and we seem to have drawn a fire elemental out. Good luck with your node."
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May 7, 2014 03:59
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Folhapreta "Let's head out single file to the northwest. Fighter in front, then Paladin, Wizard, Me, and the fast Barbarian can watch our backs. Keep your eyes open, walk where the guy in front walks, and stay away from the walls and the brown sand."
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May 7, 2014 04:10
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Pragor Krakskull Pragor scratches at his chest and readies his maul to strike at something. "So, which way to key elf man? Us Golden Balled warriors will do great things. Pragor feel it in him bones."
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May 7, 2014 04:17
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 As you head out, the vibrations of your movement alert creatures deep in the sand. They slowly emerge from the sand and attack. Elementals get an init: 1d20 1 loving initiative. Everyone roll init and take your turn if you beat a 1! If you don't beat a 1, just loving quit seriously. The dark brown sand counts as difficult terrain, double movement cost to walk about in. Initiative  Folhapreta Ganja Elf Bronan the Brobarian Pragor Krakskull Justice McHeropants1: Elementals x5 (68/68HP, AC13, resist nonmagical, immune to poison/dehydration/disease/petrify/sleep/starvation/suffocation/prone/paralyze haha no I'm not joking) 
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May 7, 2014 04:19
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Pragor Krakskull HP: 59 | AC: 15 Initiative: 1d20+2 4 Not great, but... Pragor bellows out something unintelligible, "oOOorraaayaaarrgghhh!" and darts into combat, although a bit delayed. Pragor charges to Y54 (20/40') He swings his maul wildly at the disgusting sand creature. Attack; Damage: 1d20+7 10 1d12+5 11 May be dead in Thay sooner than later
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May 7, 2014 04:39
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Folhapreta "WE'RE GIVING OFF BAD VIBRATIONS. YOU'RE PICKING UP LACERATIONS!" The thief goes berserk, runs up to the nearest elemental, beats the poo poo out of it then disengages to cover. Initiative; 3 punches with advantage; damages; sneak attack damage: 1d20+3 10 2d20k1+5 25 1d6+5 9 2d20k1+5 20 1d6+5 9 2d20k1+5 11... First one's a crit, which maxes the fist and sneak attack damage, so I'm gonna just go ahead and say the 1d6 I was gonna use for sneak attack is just the crit die instead. 32 damage to AD49 then ending my turn at AB52. 1 ki and 1 rage remaining.
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May 7, 2014 04:57
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Justice McHeroPants HP: 52 | AC: 19 Initiative:: 1d20-1 17 Sand elementals! You know who else likes sand TERRORIST. Come patriots it is time to do your civic duty! Justice uses his Channel Divinity class feature : sacred weapon on his longsword it gains +2(cha mod)to attack rolls, becomes a magic weapon and emits a bright light for 20ft and dim for another 20. Justice moves to AD 50 and gets next to one of the elementals to prevent the two from rushing through to the others.
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May 7, 2014 09:06
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Bronan the Brobarian Bronan, not to be out-patrioted, catches up to Justice. "gently caress you, you miserable mudheaps! A new chapter of dwarven history begins here, with my Golden Balls! Strike the Earth!" Initiative: 15 I get two attacks right? Attack sandudes: 19, damage 13 Attack sandudes: 22, damage 7
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May 7, 2014 15:15
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Bronan's damage gets halved! 13 becomes 6, 7 becomes 3, 9 total. Initiative Ganja ElfFolhapreta Bronan the Brobarian Pragor Krakskull (59/59 AC15) Justice McHeropants (52/52 AC19) Elemental in AD49 (27/68HP) Elementals x4 (68/68HP, AC13, resist nonmagical, immune to poison/dehydration/disease/petrify/sleep/starvation/suffocation/prone/paralyze haha no I'm not joking)
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May 7, 2014 23:26
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Ganja Elf Team Golden Balls HP: 38 | AC: 12 Initiative: http://orokos.com/roll/190324: 1d20+2 15 Action: http://orokos.com/roll/190327: 1d20+6 15 (Elemental needs a DC15 to resist) Damage: http://orokos.com/roll/190334: 2d8 5 (Elemental reduces speed by 10 for 1 turn) Ganja brings his wand up to bear at the nearest (damaged) Elemental and lets lose a bright beam of frost toward the creature. The crackling of ice is heard as the beam smashes into it, while tiny snowflakes fall to the floor. He smiled absentmindedly at the beautiful effects the frost had. goodness fucked around with this message at 00:06 on May 8, 2014 |
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May 8, 2014 00:02
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The earth critters roar and grind their stony teeth together. They advance around the ring. Except for the one that just died. I was looking at earth elemental instead of earth grue, this monster. Oops! So Fol one-shotted 1 monster, and Bro hit another. A pair of them attacks McHeroPants! They swing once each, for two attacks total! two attacks vs colbert: 2#1d20+4 18 18 2#2d6+2 10 12...and miss. Brobarian faces an attack of his own: an attack vs bro: 1#1d20+4 12 1#2d6+2 9, missing. Pragor isn't left out either. He's dealing with two incoming attacks: two attacks vs pragor: 2#1d20+4 7 20 2#2d6+2 4 11 - One hits for 11 damage. Initiative Ganja Elf (38/38 AC12) Folhapreta Bronan the Brobarian (64/64 AC18) Pragor Krakskull (48/59 AC15) Justice McHeropants (52/52 AC19)Elemental in AC49 (13/22HP AC12) Elementals x3 (22/22HP, AC12, resist nonmagical, immune to poison/dehydration/disease/petrify/sleep/starvation/suffocation/prone/paralyze haha no I'm not joking) 
ritorix fucked around with this message at 00:40 on May 8, 2014 |
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May 8, 2014 00:16
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Folhapreta One stinky elf turns to another from behind the cover of stone. One pipe is mysteriously in the hands of the hidden flyfriend, and big, 1970's, jean jacket, Bad Company hits are taken before a new earth thing must be beaten down savagely. The thief returns to his previous location for more hits of the dank afterwards. Hide; 3 punches, maybe the first of which with advantage; damages; sneak attack: 1d20+10 22 2d20k1+5 16 1d6+5 7 1d20+5 6 1d6+5 8 1d6 6 13 damage to AC49. Perfect.
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May 8, 2014 01:20
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Justice McHeroPants HP: 52/52 | AC: 19 Wag of the Finger to the terrorist. How dare you insult the sanctity of our fine country by being alive! Attacks with his now glowing and FULL OF TRUTHINESS longsword at the elemental in AE49 and smites if he hits Attacking Terrorist: 2#1d20+8 23 15 Damage Damage for 2 attacks and smite: 4d8+8 30 After EXPLODING the infidel Justice moves to assist his Krakskull friend seeing as everything is all cleaned up over on this end. Edit: 25ft speed not sure if the square I am in counts as the slow terrain so just move me as close back up that way as I can go. Vire fucked around with this message at 02:25 on May 8, 2014 |
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May 8, 2014 02:09
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Bronan the Brobarian Nonplussed by the sheer implacable dirtitude of the sandbeasts, Bronan brings his axe down again and again on the nearest mudmonster, sparing only a sidelong glance at McHeroPants. "Get sodbustin', church boy!" Attack! Initative: 12 Attack 1: 20, damage 11 Attack 2: 16, damage 12 I think my shield interrupts attacks, so how do I make use of that in PbP?
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May 8, 2014 03:26
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I answered the blocking question in the OOC thread. McHeroPants splattered the last monster on the left side, so I moved Bro up north. He hit X54 for a total of 11 damage. Initiative Ganja Elf (38/38 AC12)Folhapreta Bronan the Brobarian (64/64 AC18) Pragor Krakskull (48/59 AC15)Justice McHeropants (52/52 AC19) Elemental X54 (11/22HP) Elemental Y55 (22/22HP, AC12, resist nonmagical, immune to poison/dehydration/disease/petrify/sleep/starvation/suffocation/prone/paralyze haha no I'm not joking)
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May 8, 2014 03:56
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Ganja Elf Team Golden Balls HP: 38 | AC: 12 | Spells Left: 4/2/3 Action: Casting Magic Missile as a Level 2 to form 4 darts (2 at each remaining Elemental) Damage: http://orokos.com/roll/190445: 1d4+1 3 1d4+1 3 1d4+1 4 1d4+1 4 (7 damage to each Elemental) As he stood in his cloud of smoke rings, Ganja pondered the natural rocky walls of Mother Earth around them. The ringing sound of steel on rock abruptly broke him out of his trance. Distressed, he casually lifted a finger and sent four beautiful fractals of light streaming to help his "friends" as he slowly sank back into the comfort of the wand. goodness fucked around with this message at 10:16 on May 8, 2014 |
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May 8, 2014 05:41
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Pragor Krakskull HP: 48/59 | AC: 15 | Rage: 3/4 Remain Sorry for delay, picked up a late shift last night and have been swamped with work today. Bleh! Pragor shouts something unholy as the Sand elemental rends into his flesh. "You make Pragor bleed! NOW PRAGOR BLEED YOUUUUU!" He shouts flinging back his Maul in one hand, the other out to his side as he takes a power stance to shout. Rage Active HP: 60/59 +12 Temp. HP Reckless Attack & Extra Attack He swings the maul overhead 360o and then brings it to bare on the first creature, before carrying it over into the next, blind in his savage rage. Whoops! Forgot my roll, because I am dumb and I suck. Sorry! Reckless Attack Twice (X54, Y55): 2d20k1+7 13 2d20k1+7 24 2#1d12+5+2 18 19 Idle Amalgam fucked around with this message at 18:27 on May 8, 2014 |
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May 8, 2014 17:33
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The remaining elemental, with only 6HP left, withdraws from combat by burrowing into the earth. It probably won't be back. Combat over, where to? Status Ganja Elf (38/38 AC12) Folhapreta Bronan the Brobarian (64/64 AC18) Pragor Krakskull (48/59 AC15) Justice McHeropants (52/52 AC19) 
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May 9, 2014 00:33
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Folhapreta "Good work, but keep an eye out for that last one bringing it's momma." The thief warns before spending a few seconds wrapping up the barbarian and checking for any lootables from the corpses. After that, "Back to the march!" Perception: 2d20k1+9 16 It gives back 10hp before rolling, so you're topped off. Note that I can't heal you again until you rest, which we sure as hell aren't wasting time doing now. 249 uses of healing kit left.
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May 9, 2014 00:57
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Pragor Krakskull HP: 58/59 | AC: 15 | Rage: 3/4 Remain "You have Pragor's thanks, Elf man. Sand fiend make the hot red spill. Pragor crush them! We all crush them! Haar haaar haaar!!" Pragor boisterously proclaims as Folhapreta tends to his wounds. Restored to good health Pragor decides to make himself useful searching for the remaining sand elemental. Search(INT): 1d20 -1 + 2 Proficiency: 1d20+1 3 "Him know, Me dig!" he says before he begins pounding at the ground with his maul where he saw the last elemental vanish. "Must be here somewhere!"
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May 9, 2014 04:29
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Pragor is actually topped off. Team Golden Balls is at full HP. More than we can say for those guys that decided to explore a fiery deathtrap. Pragor can't find the elemental, it's probably gone for good and nursing wounds. But he does hear rumbles in the ground. Reminds him of the earthquakes in the mountains back home. Where to? Status Ganja Elf (38/38 AC12) Folhapreta Bronan the Brobarian (64/64 AC18) Pragor Krakskull (59/59 AC15) Justice McHeropants (52/52 AC19)
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May 9, 2014 05:03
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Let's go NW, same formation as before the fight.
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May 9, 2014 05:26
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Bro makes it about 30' past the edge of the stone ring, with the others following behind in formation. At about that point, the earth begins to rumble and a quake rocks the tunnel. Rocks fall. Everyone might die. At least you aren't on fire? Everyone needs to do a DC13 Dex save as debris falls in the area. Note that some classes have Dex saving throw proficiency, so those cases get to roll 1d20+dex+prof. If you fail, take 2d4 bludgeoning damage from rocks. Soon the quake ceases and the dust settles. The path isn't entirely blocked off with fallen rocks. Do you continue NW, or take a different route? Status Ganja Elf (38/38 AC12) Folhapreta Bronan the Brobarian (64/64 AC18) Pragor Krakskull (59/59 AC15) Justice McHeropants (52/52 AC19)Map wont have exact grid coords - just give me the general direction you want to go. 
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May 9, 2014 05:39
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Folhapreta A big rock is about to fall on the thief, but it's shiny enough that his spindly fingers just snatch it out of the air and hide it in his robes. Perhaps there are valuables in the boulders, or where they came from, or that little alcove south of them. He checks them with his elf eyes. Dex Save; Perception: 1d20+5 13 2d20k1+9 15 Just enough to save, booyah.
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May 9, 2014 05:48
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Pragor Krakskull HP: 59/59 | AC: 15 | Rage: 3/4 Remain Dexterity Save + Prof. Bonus: 1d20+2+2 22 The rocky debris came tumbling down as the earthquakes started and Pragor nimbly avoided being pelted. "Why ground make tunnel rain rocks?!" he says before snarling at the cavern above him. I'm fine to continue NW
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May 9, 2014 06:20
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Justice McHeroPants HP: 52/52 | AC: 19 Dex check: 1d20+1 20 This is a breeze. Now if you actually want to kill someone you send bears not rocks. TRY HARDER LIBERAL MEDIA!  Casually side steps the falling death edit: whoops that should be -1 so 18 but still plenty Vire fucked around with this message at 06:24 on May 9, 2014 |
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May 9, 2014 06:22
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Ganja Elf Team Golden Balls HP: 38 | AC: 12 | Spells Left: 4/2/3 Check: http://orokos.com/roll/190825: 1d20+2 16 Ganja casually spins and twirls as he smokes upon his wand. Glancing lazily at the rocks falling around him and enjoying the soothing THUMPS as they fell to the floor in rhythm.
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May 9, 2014 07:19
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Bro fails his dex save: 1d20+1 3 2d4 7 damage. I'm going to speed things up a bit so we aren't just poking around a cave for a week. Any effects that last an hour or more are still going, other stuff has expired. Now that you are aware of the quake signs you manage to avoid any more collapses. You safely navigate the tunnels until coming upon a large chamber. A low rise of rocky ground is set with a huge boulder whose cracks and fissures glow with golden light. A prickly orb of violet crystal containing a spark of the same golden light has been driven into the boulder’s upper surface. Surrounding the boulder are a pair of massive earth elementals, possibly the parents of the ones you slew earlier. They must have heard you coming, and they defend the boulder. Earth Elementals' init: 1d20-1 0. Zero.  Don't bother rolling init, take your turns now! Initiative Ganja Elf (38/38 AC12) Folhapreta Bronan the Brobarian (57/64 AC18) Pragor Krakskull (59/59 AC15) Justice McHeropants (52/52 AC19)Earth Elemental (x2)(68/68HP AC13, resists nonmagical weapons, immune to lots of poo poo)  Darker areas are sandy difficult terrain. Climbing the boulder is a DC10str/athletics check. The orb is on top.  The big picture
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May 10, 2014 12:32
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Folhapreta  I want that thing. gently caress elementals get key. Athletics: 1d20+7 20 Cunning action for hustle gives me 21 squares of movement. After a head start I can jump 10 feet, which is enough to clear any 2 squares of difficult terrain. That should give me enough movement to get to the key, recover it with an action if need be, then jump back off the boulder and get back to the party. As an aside we could probably bottleneck these fat elementals by hanging out where we are.
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May 10, 2014 21:22
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