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You should be more accommodating to Taco. It’s obvious they work really hard down at the store that they are clearly the manager of, as indicated by the smart bow tie.
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Nov 20, 2021 14:38
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| # ? May 9, 2024 13:38 |
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 This rear end in a top hat woke me up at 5am with a desperate need to vomit. He has now done so 4 times on the couch. Why is he vomiting? because he's hungry. Why is he hungry? because he doesn't like the flavor of (cooked wet) dog food I got. TBH I've had nothing but weight & vomiting problems with him since I switched away from taste of the wild and milkbone treats.
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Nov 26, 2021 18:44
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Which Zelda game is taste of the wild again?
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Nov 27, 2021 03:31
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Sully, my dearest couch gargoyle, May I have just one day -- it doesn't have to be scheduled, it can just be random -- in which you are satisfied with the amount, cleanliness, and variety of your litter, the amount & variety of your food, AND the amount of water you have been presented with? Please? Just one. Please. 
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Nov 30, 2021 20:28
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 Katya, I need you to get better at grooming yourself because you have too much fur to half rear end it as much as you do. You got your dirty bum all over me and then got very upset when I tried clean it up. Same with most brushing. I just want you to be healthy, happy, and not dragging dingleberries and litter around.
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Dec 10, 2021 21:36
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 Daisy, I love you, and I love that you love gravy. I love giving you a mix of wet and dry food with gravy toppers because you’re a little old lady and I love you but why do you gotta RUB YOUR FILTHY GRAVY FACE ON THE CARPET… AND MY DUVET… AND MY PILLOWS AND MY COUCH AND MY WHOLE APARTMENT SMELLS LIKE GRAVY because you can’t use your own pooch pants as a napkin
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Jan 14, 2022 14:25
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Dear Boots the Younger, My favorite Christmas present is not a snack grower for you. You do not need to eat the chia sprouts off of Bob Ross's prodigious clay 'fro. Nor do you need to sip the water from his tray when you have a perfectly functional Catit fountain with running water less than six feet away. Get your grubby shitbox paws off my counter and your tongue off of Bob. Sincerely, Dad
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Jan 14, 2022 15:05
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D34THROW posted:Dear Boots the Younger, Post the offender
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Jan 14, 2022 15:50
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iospace posted:Post the offender The reason ChiaBob is now outside, purring up a loving storm as he shoves his face into mine. 
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Jan 17, 2022 21:39
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"I own you, never forget that."
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Jan 24, 2022 01:02
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 Listen mate, i dont like this work from home thing either but you need to stop yelling at the computer every time someone else is talking
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Jan 25, 2022 12:46
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 i love you too, and you being comfortable is worth not being able to watch the tv with my girlfriend
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Feb 15, 2022 20:03
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  Dearest Henry, you cost me $1000 in vet bills and got baked in the process, then spent all day slowly wobbling into things and knocking them off tables.
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Mar 7, 2022 05:39
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This motherfucker decided to chase one of my other cats while he was in the middle of using the litterbox and left a huge pile of poo poo on the floor. Unapologetic: 
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Mar 9, 2022 03:34
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ohnobugs posted:This motherfucker decided to chase one of my other cats while he was in the middle of using the litterbox and left a huge pile of poo poo on the floor. "I scared the poo poo out of him. Mission succeeded."
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Mar 9, 2022 15:27
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Dearest Miley, You are old as poo poo. Because you are old as poo poo, you need to realize that you deciding to stop eating your food on a whim worries me. Stop deciding one day that you don't like your food, resulting in me consulting the vet, and then when I have to constantly monitor you during the time I should be sleeping before my overnight shift, you decide that your food isn't that bad after all and eat all of it while I'm at work. Also, you have a vet appointment in a couple hours and you being a cranky bitch is why I have to lace your wet food with gabapentin. At least eat that so I don't get an "rear end in a top hat charge" on your vet bill. Sincerely, Kriss 
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Apr 26, 2022 13:45
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Goddam that is a capital, absolutely CAPITAL bowtie, little guy. Be nice to your mom/dad and please eat ur food, I want you big and plump as a Christmas goose.
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Apr 26, 2022 13:55
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Bowtie cats have a meeting. Also, bury your poo poo, Lulu. It makes the entire house smell like the inside of your rear end in a top hat when you don’t.
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Apr 26, 2022 14:13
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https://www.chewy.com/necoichi-oribon-kimono-bow-tie-cotton/dp/163992 This is the exact bowtie I got for miss Miley, though I took the bell off it because she hates bells and noise making toys. She also has a more "bowtie" looking one in black, but the white one is her more standard wear since the black one doesn't have a nametag on it. She's had them for almost 2 years and there's barely any sign of fraying.
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Apr 26, 2022 14:22
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Apollo! Dog! If you have a danglie let me deal with it instead of constantly hiding your butt from me! Aaaaa!
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Apr 26, 2022 14:23
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Guess who brought a living mouse into the bedroom and released it in the middle of the night, playing with it loudly under our bed, necessitating me to catch it and take it outside, making me wide awake and unable to sleep anymore, making my workday hellish? Misha, that's who.
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Apr 26, 2022 15:20
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Bootsy, when I rescued you from getting squished in the parking lot of a Food Lion back in February, I thought “gee I need to rescue this cat and find her a safe home” and now barely two months go by and you surprise me like this! I haven’t had any time or extra $ to get you fixed and it turns out you’ve been PREGNANT since the day we met!   went in to check on her in my closet this morning (she started sleeping in their 2 days ago) and I woke up to this pile of trash!!! Now I gotta spend all summer with 5 cats in a one bedroom apartment!? WTF!? (Please welcome Booster, Mittens, & Tiger Lily to Earth, they are all basically blind little hamsters)
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Apr 28, 2022 12:35
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I love kittens, Bootsy is a good girl 
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Apr 28, 2022 12:43
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Bootsy is a smart lady, she knew exactly who to get rescued by!
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Apr 28, 2022 23:32
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Bust Rodd posted:Goddam that is a capital, absolutely CAPITAL bowtie, little guy. Be nice to your mom/dad and please eat ur food, I want you big and plump as a Christmas goose. Well according to the vet, Miley is a little too plump. They had to weigh her while she was still in the carrier, and including the carrier it was weighing 15lbs. She also ate all the food that was supposed to be eaten before the vet visit when we got home and was stoned off her gourd for at least a day.
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Apr 29, 2022 07:32
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Miz Kriss posted:Well according to the vet, Miley is a little too plump. They had to weigh her while she was still in the carrier, and including the carrier it was weighing 15lbs. She also ate all the food that was supposed to be eaten before the vet visit when we got home and was stoned off her gourd for at least a day. Oh Miley.
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Apr 30, 2022 23:36
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I'm glad you don't have to get bladder stone surgery Donna but you didn't have to wait until the day of surgery to get better you little poo poo.
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May 10, 2022 18:21
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Samus I do not think I need a bath, actually. Especially during a meeting. This is how I keep the lights on and keep you in food that you just inhale as soon as I put it down. Also stop going into the litter robot when it's moving, the stuff moving around is poop, not toys. Stop trying to play with it.
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May 11, 2022 15:52
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My cat Jackie’s response when I tell her she needs to start burying her goddamn poop since it makes the entire room stink when left uncovered: Ack! I’m sorry Jack, I take it back I’ll just keep covering it up for you…
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May 13, 2022 04:07
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Love when my wife comes back from the bath to a fresh turd on the bed (thanks, Princess) and she and I are snuggling later and the mood is ruined by 2 cats chainbombing the room box 
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May 13, 2022 12:35
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 Bootsy, I’m so happy that you’ve finally opened up and settled after being feral and having kittens. I’m so happy that you’ve decided 5:30-6:00 AM will be our time together. But what you’re doing here is trying to align your little booty with the tip of my nose like a spaceship trying to dock and it is NOT WORKING FOR ME!
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May 26, 2022 12:43
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Feline/human Centipede.
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May 26, 2022 13:12
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At 2:30am, my idiot cat decided he craved freedom, burst through the catio fence, landed in the carpark on the other side, realised it was dark and scary and (fortunately) started a fire alarm level of non-stop wailing for mother to save him that woke me up. So then I got to wander around the winter dark, at 2.30am, barefoot in my pink unicorn pyjamas, to find where he was hiding inconsolable in the carpark. I carried him inside, locked him in and went to get a hot milk to try and get back to sleep. In that ten minute time frame he forgot his trauma, and he is now sitting at the catio entrance asking to be let back in. It is almost 3am.
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Jun 9, 2022 17:48
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Chief McHeath posted:I know this story. When my Boogie was about a year old, I was living alone so I'd leave the bathroom door open when I showered so it didn't get so steamy. One time I'm in there and she jumped between the curtain and the liner and poked her head around and I said "Oh, Boogie, you're not gonna like that." A little bit of water hit her head and she jumped in, got wetter, and straight up attacked me. She ran to the other end of the tub, grabbed my calf and climbed all the way up to my shoulder and I dug her nails out to toss her in the hallway. She immediately came back to attack me again. I got her out and closed the door, got back in the shower and she'd scratched me up so much that the water & blood was running red over my body. This is unfortunate, but loving hilarious. one of my birds would shower with me and normally was pretty cool, although(to be in the intent of the thread) Liberty ffs don't stand on my traps and make me lean forward so you can shower and then beat your wings into my head because although you are a (large macaw)small dude, I seriously don't want smacked on both sides of my head just because you don't want to take your shower on my arm, but the other dude that lived there(never tried showering with Bell) would go out of his way and walk to the bathroom to find me when I was showering sometimes and then lose his poo poo at the water. He is a loving rainforest bird, water should be ok with him, but the first time he didn't like it he should have left me alone. Him coming back other times got to the point I had to close the door to shower in an apartment I shared with 2 birds. A confined space while naked with a tiny flying raptor is frightening. I luckily never had a cat go up me or one of the birds do anything more than dig talons and nip.
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Jun 9, 2022 20:05
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Dearest Sully, If you're going to try to kick all the litter out of your box every time you use it, could you at least try to kick it into one specific area and not EVERYWHERE?  Sincerely, I beg you, YTM
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Jun 10, 2022 20:21
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nesamdoom posted:This is unfortunate, but loving hilarious. one of my birds would shower with me and normally was pretty cool, although(to be in the intent of the thread) Liberty ffs don't stand on my traps and make me lean forward so you can shower and then beat your wings into my head because although you are a (large macaw)small dude, I seriously don't want smacked on both sides of my head just because you don't want to take your shower on my arm, but the other dude that lived there(never tried showering with Bell) would go out of his way and walk to the bathroom to find me when I was showering sometimes and then lose his poo poo at the water. He is a loving rainforest bird, water should be ok with him, but the first time he didn't like it he should have left me alone. Him coming back other times got to the point I had to close the door to shower in an apartment I shared with 2 birds. A confined space while naked with a tiny flying raptor is frightening. I luckily never had a cat go up me or one of the birds do anything more than dig talons and nip. A macaw, standing on your head in the shower, wing slapping your head, forever.
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Jun 11, 2022 00:09
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MrYenko posted:A macaw, standing on your head in the shower, wing slapping your head, forever. I'd be pretty chill about it if that was my Bill & Ted hell room. When Captain Awesome and Earl were kittens they were very nice to make sure that chasing each other around the apartment at 3 included running over the pillows/heads sleeping on the bed. They then slept all day while we were at work to make sure tiny paws got to hit us in our faces while we slept at night. Even my biggest complaints about cats and birds are stuff I still kinda thought was funny. Imagine walking like a block to see someone just to mildly inconvenience them and then going right back home. That's pretty much my birds coming over to climb up me and poo poo on my arm then jump/flap back to their cages. 2/3 of them did this. The female Greenwing was the only one that didn't do poo poo just to gently caress with me.
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Jun 17, 2022 08:31
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 I'm trying to play vidya games.  Stop bugging your sister! So the little one is my 18 week old ragdoll. Good Golly Miss Molly is her name. Nothing but trouble. The second pic is of my abnormally small other ragdoll, Heidi, being a bed for Molly. Heidi is almost 2 years old and is under 5 pounds. Molly and Heidi are sisters, same parents. Molly already weights over 3 lbs. Lady Jaybird fucked around with this message at 18:45 on Jun 21, 2022 |
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Jun 21, 2022 18:31
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Catsitting for my parents' two this week, one of whom is a senior and diabetic and requires twice-daily insulin shots. Went over last night and saw the younger, healthy one but for the life of us could not find the old fatty. We tore the drat house apart for two hours: looked in and around every box in storage, every cabinet, in the basement's drop ceiling, emptied every closet. Finally in desperation, I called my mom. "Have you looked inside the family room recliner?" she asks immediately. ... gently caress you, Charlie.
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Jun 21, 2022 21:27
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| # ? May 9, 2024 13:38 |
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Jesus Christ you two, quit ambushing each other in the litter box.
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Jun 29, 2022 22:50
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