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Dwight and Jim are meeting a customer (Eric Blustomer) together and things are going well until the customer offhandedly mentions that their office is supposedly haunted. Jim shoots a sly grin to Dwight. "Oh, did you know Dwight's scared of ghosts? Uh oh, Dwight, better not let the ghosts get ya!" Jim then waggles his fingers at Dwight and laughs. "Nah, just kidding, Mr. Blustomer. But I think we're just about done for the day with business, could we treat you to lunch?" Mr. Blustomer accepts and Jim and Dwight walk him out to the car. As they do, Dwight realizes he needs to use the restroom. He tells them to wait a moment and rushes back, while Jim rolls his eyes and makes a jerking off motion with his hand. As Dwight finishes his business and is washing his hands the mirror begins to glow with a faint, green light. A strange, caustic fog billows out from behind the mirror, quickly filling the restroom. A face rises in the glass; a skeletal woman's face with patches of skin literally peeling back from its skull. It makes eye contact with Dwight with its cloudy eyes and then begins to scream. Very funny, Jim, Dwight thinks to himself. I didn't know Spirit Halloween sold a projector that worked like this. Dwight ignores the light show and leaves the restroom. In the parking lot, Jim pretends to drive away (several times in fact) forcing Dwight to run after the car. When they return to the building after lunch (and a successful sale) Jim says he needs to "drain the main vein". Dwight makes pleasant smalltalk with Mr. Blustomer until there's a loud commotion in the hall. Dwight rushes out and sees Jim tripping over his own feet with a bedsheet, obviously trying to pretend to be a ghost but failing. Dwight tells Jim that this wasn't nearly as terrifying as the bathroom ghost. "The gently caress are you on about, Dwight?" Jim says with actual confusion in his voice.
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Apr 18, 2024 17:56
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| # ? May 2, 2024 22:54 |
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Jim smokes a huge blunt and blows the smoke directly into Dwight's face, causing Dwight to become addicted to marijuana.
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Apr 18, 2024 20:27
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Jim finds he has the genetic ability to become the person of whomever shows he wears. He steals Dwight's shoes to become Dwight and gets ready for his impersonation prank. But now he is Dwight and he no longer feels like pranking anybody. The real Dwight sees it is raining and asks if anybody has an extra pair of shoes he could borrow. Jim Dwight, being polite, gives him his shoes, transforming himself back into Jim
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Apr 18, 2024 20:38
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Jim has a book he keeps peeking at and giggling to himself during work. Dwight asks what he is reading and Jim refuses to show. Just saying "ooh hoo hoo, this is good". Jim locks it in his desk so Dwight can't have a peek. Except today, he forgot. He goes to get lunch and the book is there with a bookmark sticking out. Dwight can't help himself, he opens to take a look. He sees one passage circled and highlighted. "John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in him shall not perish, but shall be granted eternal life". Dwight begins to weep and converts to Christianity on the spot. His work complete, Jim hitchhikes to the next town to save the next soul on his list.
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Apr 18, 2024 20:43
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Jim hasn't been to work in weeks. On the 16th day, Dwight knows something is amiss because the company policy allows 15 maximum personal days a year. He begins to ask around the office, and Kevin quips "he probably caught space aids." "Kevin, not only is that just beyond insensitive to say, there's also no such thing as space aids." "Oh yes there is" Kevin parried. "I was watching tik tok and the news said there was a new space aids, that makes your skin get spotty and causes delusions of grandeur and hallucinations. Jim definitely got space aids" Kevin says with a giggle. Dwight is unsure how to respond.
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Apr 19, 2024 03:16
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Jim calls into the office saying he has to take a sick day due to prankitis. He overextended his prank poles which he calls his index fingers and can't press the button to call the elevator or start the nitrous ventilator. Pam concerned, who is filling in for the receptionist tells Jim that he has run out of sick days and this will be unpaid. Jim replies, this is part of the prank, it's going in Dwight's account. Pam says no, I'm saving this in the unpaid workday spreadsheet that I have to send to HR at the end of the day. Jim forcefully says no, it will be billed to Dwight at payroll. Pam begs Jim to just show up for a few hours so she doesn't have to record it in the spreadsheet. Jim pushes away the paper shredder and stands up next to Pam stating, I have been here since yesterday! Jim smirks.f
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Apr 19, 2024 03:57
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Jim makes fun of Dwight for having piss all over his (Dwight's) face. Dwight is sitting next to the hospital bed of his dying former grade school teacher, weeping and sobbing. He only wanted to comfort the old man during his final moments, but Jim somehow had to show up ruin even this somber moment. "They're TEARS, Jim, not--!" Dwight turns to confront Jim, only for Jim to start urinating on his (Dwight's) face. Old Mr. Mattias laughs from his deathbed as Dwight rushes off to clean himself up. "You... I know you," Mattias gasps out as he remembers a horrible floppyhaired prankster he'd once had for a student. Reaching to press the nurse call button, he's jolted by a joy buzzer, instead. Terrified, he looks at Jim smiling at him. Dwight gets done cleaning himself up and is on his way back to the room when he hears a scream. Rushing in the direction, he barges into the hospital cafeteria to see shaken nurses and fainted doctors blocking his view. Moving past them, Dwight sees Mattias floating in a gigantic cube of institutional-grade gelatin in the serving area.
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Apr 19, 2024 04:09
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Jim spreads space aids to the entire office, but especially to Dwight.
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Apr 19, 2024 13:55
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Jim shows up to work wearing one of those "Rasta Hats" they used to sell at the Ocean City Boardwalk and a t-shirt that has a cartoon Spongebob made of weed called WeedBob Crunkpants. It also looks like something you'd buy on the boardwalk. "Yo, Dwight, tomorrow's 4/20 dude! You gonna smoke up, man?" Dwight knows this is the prelude to a prank and just ignores it. "C'mon, man, that sticky icky, right? You can tell me, I'm cool." Dwight sighs and says that yes, he'll smoke a bunch of weed tomorrow. "We got him, repeat, Dwight just admitted to smoking marijuana," Jim says into a microphone hidden under his shirt. "Commence the sting operation NOW! NOW NOW NOW!" A dozen SWAT members burst through the windows of Dunder Mifflin, guns drawn on Dwight, and scream at him to get on the ground. Dwight sighs again and lays flat on the ground as one police officer fires his gun haphazardly towards Darryl's office. Thankfully, Darryl's on vacation. Jim mugs for the camera as the police use zip ties on Dwight and drag him to jail. "Winners don't use drugs!" Jim says with a smile before cracking open a cold one.
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Apr 19, 2024 14:01
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Jim traps Dwight inside River City Ransom (Jim locks Dwight in a long corridor full of hired thugs). Dwight manages to fight all the way to the end of the corridor only to face off against Jim wearing a Hitler mustache and piloting a mech suit. "We're doing Wolfenstein now," declares Jim before unleashing the full power of his mech's twin miniguns.
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Apr 19, 2024 14:25
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Jim spikes Dwight's coffee with a pill that makes Dwight invisible, inaudible, and intangible to everyone but Jim. Jim's intent was to make Dwight completely dependent upon Jim for survival but the prank backfires once Dwight realizes he can slap Jim around without anyone seeing.
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Apr 19, 2024 15:24
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The Search for Dwight as the media dubbed it has become the largest in the nations history. Thousands of volunteers knock on doors and comb every mile of the dense Scranton wilderness. Candlelight vigils pop up, and president Barron Trump addresses the country to quell their anxiety. After eight torturous weeks, the invisibility pills wear off, and Dwight is promptly questioned by the flocks of reporters. "Where have you been, and what have you been doing?" Dwight, honest to a T, explains that he was right here the whole time, slapping his Jim around. Public sentiment sours, and Dwight the Pervert (as the media has now dubbed him) is shunned by society.
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Apr 19, 2024 16:13
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Jim traps Dwight inside River City Ransom. Jim then kicks Dwight in the balls really hard, causing Dwight to yell "BARF" and fall over.
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Apr 19, 2024 16:22
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Jim asks Dwight to explain the story of Cyrano to him for his high school English paper he's writing(they are both in high school in this story) and much to Dwight's annoyance Jim keeps saying this story is "exactly like Ratatouille, like. Word for word"
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Apr 19, 2024 16:26
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Jim put The Office on a "sliding timeline" so that the characters are always exactly the same age in the present day, which means significant events from the characters' lives are constantly moving forward in time. Dwight suddenly has memories of watching Ratatouille while in high school despite the fact that the hit Pixar movie was released in 2007, two years after the first season of The Office (2005) where Dwight was already 35 years old. This creates huge problems because now the critically-acclaimed and fan-favorite Office flashback episode detailing Dwight's highschool experience in the mid 1980s now coexists with later episodes showing Dwight forming a highschool grunge band in the 90s and watching Ratatouille in high school in 2007.
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Apr 19, 2024 16:46
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Jim puts Dwight on a "sliding skateboard" so that Dwight rolls down a dangerously steep hill into a blackberry patch.
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Apr 19, 2024 17:14
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Jim gets Dwight's favorite sci Fi actress, Tricia Helfer, to meet him, but secretly implants her with a queen Goa'uld and orders her to make Dwight into a Jaffa
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Apr 19, 2024 17:31
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Jim gets Dwight's other favorite Sci-fi actress, Katee Sackhoff to call Dwight a "bitch." Katee apologies to Dwight afterwards, explaining that Jim was holding her (Katee's) family hostage at the time.
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Apr 19, 2024 17:40
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John Wick of Dogs posted:Jim gets Dwight's favorite sci Fi actress, Tricia Helfer, to meet him, but secretly implants her with a queen Goa'uld and orders her to make Dwight into a Jaffa “Jaffa Cakes are a cake introduced by McVitie and Price in the UK in 1927 and named after Jaffa oranges. The most common form of Jaffa cakes are circular, 2+1⁄8 inches in diameter and have three layers: a Genoise sponge base, a layer of orange flavoured jam and a coating of chocolate. Each cake is 46 calories.” actress Tricia Helfer explains to Dwight the character on “The Office.”
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Apr 19, 2024 18:10
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Several months ago, Jim secretly had Schrute Farms classified as a New York City Bodega. This was to facilitate a prank that never materialized but, due to the address change, Dwight is summoned to be a juror in the Donald Trump trial. Although Dwight has to be discrete about it, the fact that he mentions he'll need an "indeterminate amount of time off" makes Jim realize exactly what's going on. As Dwight sits int he breakroom, Jim approaches him. "Hey, uh... I know you're not allowed to talk about what's going on. But I know, I'm the reason you're technically a New York resident. And maybe this seems a bit out of character, but I hope you lock that son of a bitch up. I hope he finally faces some kind of consequence for his actions. Maybe, just maybe, this is like... the Universe or whatever giving us a sign. I start a prank and, months later, it leads to this. Kinda crazy, right? So do your job, Dwight. Do your civic duty. And make sure justice is served, okay?" Dwight says he'll be sure to execute his civic duty, then shakes Jim's hand. "We got him, repeat, Dwight just admitted to being a biased juror," Jim says into a microphone hidden under his WeedBob Crunkpants shirt. "Commence the sting operation NOW! NOW NOW NOW!"
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Apr 19, 2024 19:14
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Jim finds out his favorite president(TRUMP!!!) is on trial and lights himself on fire
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Apr 19, 2024 19:19
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Jim realizes he hasn't called Dwight "balloon boy" in quite some time. "Dude, I'm bringing it back!" declares Jim as the rest of the office applauds. "Jim, please!" Dwight pleads, tears welling up in his eyes. "Ballonboysayswhat?" says Jim. "What?" asks Dwight, realizing too late he's fallen into Jim's trap. "Hello, balloon boy! I'm Jim!" screeches Jim, triumphantly. Stanley busts out laughing at his desk while Jim does a victory lap around the office, capering and kicking up his heels. Dwight sobs at his desk as the rest of the office dissolves into paroxysms of laughter.
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Apr 19, 2024 19:25
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After any sort of significant event at the office, Creed starts muttering "that didn't actually happen. Jim's just fantasising about it" while biting large crunching chunks out of whatever raw vegetable is on sale cheap that week. Most of the office seem nonplussed by this but Jim becomes visibly agitated
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Apr 19, 2024 23:29
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Jim crashes his X-la (formerly Tesla)Cybertruck (the worst EV in the US, maybe the entire world) directly into Dwight's kitchen at top speed (49 mph). Jim is cleared of all charges because Jim successfully blames the crash on the Cybertruck's accelerator pedal getting stuck, an actual problem the Cybertruck really has. Elon Musk (dressed as Waluigi) frowns at the camera as he issues a recall for all Cybertrucks, but because Elon's smile and frown are reversed, Elon appears to be mugging.
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Apr 20, 2024 01:26
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“Welcome to the race, Dwight. The human race.” Jim says this to himself as he plays a 7th round of Minions Action Kart Racing on his PlayStation 5. He’s named his character Dwight and has, purely through his own ineptitude, lost every single race. He loses another one and a Minion pulls down its overalls and farts as a taunt. “Well, Dwight, you really bungled this one again. Gru is gonna kick your rear end out of the Minion Racing League at this rate and put me in there. God, could you imagine?” Jim plays for another 3 hours straight, losing every single race as “Dwight” and continually being mocked by Minions. Jim licks his lips as one of the Minions shoots a ray run at “Dwight” and reduces him to a comical pile of ashes, then sweeps him up into a dustbin. “Oh man that’s good. Amazing graphics on this. And the particle effects, holy schnizzballs.” Across town, an odd sight is taking place at Schrute farms. Tiny, yellow, potato-like beings have begun digging themselves out of the ground and crawling towards Schrute Farms. They are wearing filthy overalls, gloves, and goggles. One of the begins unbuttoning it’s overalls, revealing a poo poo-covered rear end coated in pockmarks and bedsores. Another one clutches a strange gun in its hand that gives off a faint purple glow. “Beee do,” one says to another, nodding at Dwight’s bedroom. “Deebo la papaya,” comes the response. The creatures begin to crawl up the side of Dwight’s house as Jim, in a trance, plays his game. “Great graphics,” he says, drool dripping down his chin. “They really got the asses right.” The Minions begin to take apart Dwight’s bedroom window silently, then crawl into his room. One of them stands at the foot of the bed, ray gun in hand, and aims it at Dwight’s sleeping body. “Beeno Bella banana.” A glob of spit drops from Jim’s mouth to his hand, knocking him out of his stupor. As he shakes himself loose of his odd, hypnotic state the Minions all disappear into thin air. “Oh man,” Jim says, wiping himself with his race car bed’s sheets, “maybe it’s time to call it a night.”
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Apr 20, 2024 02:34
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Doctor Weed kneels over the bed and looks Jim dead in the eye. His expression is solomn. "Young man, I won't sugar coat this. You have stage three meningitis. But with the right management, you could at least have enough time to say goodbye and get your affairs in order..." "Oh boy, minionitis!" Jim looks down at his clammy yellow skin, and grins from ear to ear. "...I'm going to apply for my giant underground drill car permit right away!" Doctor Weed adjusts the ketamine IV and leaves the room without saying more.
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Apr 20, 2024 02:50
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Jim reveals that all of Dwight's clients have actually been him (Jim) all along, showing paperwork and e-mails that prove this. Dwight realizes his entire career at Dunder-Mifflin has been a fraud, he never was the top salesman, it was just another Jim prank. Dwight takes a deep breath, telling himself that he still has his charities and farm to be prou- "No, those are fake, too," Jim says, as if he could read Dwight's mind, providing Dwight with a list of tax returns for the last 20 years. "Through my numerous shell accounts, I have been your primary source of income at both those personal projects of yours. Well, Dwight, the tit turns off today, so to speak." Before Dwight can even begin to process any more, Jim hits him with another bombshell. "I paid off all those scientific journals to publish that horseshit of yours, too. A beet-powered engine, Dwight? Really? You actually think you did that? No, you just slapped a bunch of crap together that looked like an engine and when you woke up the next morning it just worked, like magic, didn't it? That was me, too. I built that engine, but it actually runs on gas. As I said, since I cornered the market on Schrute Beets I was able to also corner the market on Schrute Beetroleum products that fueled that engine. Beet fuel is stupid. It's really just regular gasoline, Dwight. Leaded gasoline, with your face plastered all over all those gas stations..."
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Apr 20, 2024 03:16
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Out of ideas, Jim takes off his shoe and hucks it at Dwight, hitting him in the shoulder. "Ow!" Exclams Dwight.
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Apr 20, 2024 03:23
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Jim is done with pranks and moves onto the next word in his dictionary to build his life around. Jim reads what a 'prat' is and realizes he's been working two jobs for the last 20 years. Grunting, Jim moves the next word: Prate. Reading the definition, he stomps his feet on the floor and gets mad at Dwight. "You son of a bitch, you tricked me into overworking all this time!" Pratfall, prattle, prattling! No, no, no! "Okay, PRAWN! What's PRAWN!" So begins the next 20 years of Jim's lifestyle, showing up to work each day smelling like rotten shellfish, behaving like prawn, replacing each Tiny Jim with a Shrimpy Jim.
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Apr 20, 2024 03:34
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Jim starts blowing up balloons and pauses when they are mostly filled, gasping for air. Then he, Jim, starts blowing them up further and pulls out a pushpin motioning that he is about to pop it. Dwight looks over and puts his fingers in his ears. Jim pinches the end of the balloon and lets it squeal out the air and loosens his grip letting it flutter out. Dwight returns to work, pondering on how he can move a few pallets of light weight school grade copy paper. Jim begins inflating the balloon again and asks Dwight, "Is that enough or do you want to see it bigger?" Dwight deftly draws a stiletto from his sleeve and tries to pop the balloon. Jim dodges backward with a loud creak of his office chair and the balloon is again limp. Jim tilts his head and shrugs his shoulders.
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Apr 20, 2024 03:34
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Jim injects Dwight with Trump Farts while he sleeps.
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Apr 20, 2024 08:05
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Jim just flat out shoots Dwight in the thigh with a revolver
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Apr 20, 2024 08:41
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That doesn't happen, though. Jim's just fantasising about it. Dwight remains perfectly healthy and not-shot
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Apr 20, 2024 08:58
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Dwight grows concerned about the amount of time Jim has spent fantasizing lately. Ever since Jim brought home "The Neverending Prank" from that old, haunted bookshop, Jim seems to have had his head in the clouds (figuratively speaking. Jim hasn't ripped any fat clouds off his vape in several days). Later, Dwight is chased down the street and into a dumpster by Jim riding a huge puppet.
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Apr 20, 2024 10:59
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It's 4/20 and Jim smokes up a whole bunch of clown weed and goes on a reckless driving spree in his Cybertruck. After crashing all the way through a Target, doing donuts in the men's apparel section and then crashing out through the wall of TVs, Jim becomes the face of the anti-marijuana lobby. The legalization of marijuana bill fails in Pennsylvania and Dwight' revolutionary beet/marijuana hybrid crop that cleans your lungs while producing a mellow high is burned by ATF agents with flamethrowers. Jim mugs, red-eyed, for the camera.
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Apr 20, 2024 23:33
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Jim uses a script to find and replace every character’s name on literotica with Dwight’s. This is not a prank, this is the only way Jim can get off.
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Apr 20, 2024 23:49
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Jim has a big crush on Dwight but is too shy to express it.
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Apr 20, 2024 23:50
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Jim has a big crush on Dwight and expresses it by crushing Dwight's car in a car crusher like in James Bond: Goldfinger.
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Apr 21, 2024 00:16
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Jim crushes Dwight's car crusher with a car crusher crusher
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Apr 21, 2024 04:33
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| # ? May 2, 2024 22:54 |
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Dwight struggles with a spreadsheet and realizes he's going to need Jim's help. "Hey, Jim, can you look at this? Jim? Hey, JIM! I--" Dwight rolls over to Jim's chair and recoils in horror as Jim's face is a smooth, featureless mound of flesh, devoid of eyes, nose, or mouth. "What in the name of hell is wrong with you!?" Faceless Jim 'stares', for lack of a better term, at Dwight and rolls his chair to Dwight's computer and silently starts deleting cell after cell on the spreadsheet. Dwight should be angry at Jim ruining the spreadsheet but he's far too distracted by Jim's lack of a face. Jim turns his visage, such as it is, at the camera and makes a faint humming noise and returns to his desk to continue his lunch. "What the hell was..." Dwight feels physically ill as he watches Jim pressing the food into his (Jims') face and after a few seconds layers of skin grow over it and it slowly vanishes into his flesh. "Dwight, I need to talk to you..." Pam calls over Dwight and she begins to explain it. "Jim messed himself up last night. Anyway, his brain is confusing 'prank' and 'blank' for the time being, so he's blanking you." "Is there anything I can do to help you or Jim?" "Can you think of anything you can do?" "Sorry, I'm..." Dwight looks back at Jim's face becoming overswollen with food. Dwight, not sure if he's laughing out of nervousness or amusement, mugs to the camera, "I guess you could say I'm drawing a blank."
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Apr 21, 2024 06:31
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