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signalnoise posted:I'll admit, even on these forums, I've seen a lot of these "ask me about autism" threads come and go and this is the first one I've seen stick, and not get incredibly gross. Until this thread, my advice in those threads for fellow autistic posters was to simply never tell another goon that you were autistic, because that's the culture we had for a while. It's gotten so much better in such a short amount of time, really. Unfortunately, we can't say the same everywhere. I noticed this too and I'm glad for it. I normally lurk on SA (been here since 2005) but since I'm going to start the autism assessment process in April, this thread has been really comforting to read. I'm in my 30s and trying to find community with people who in my age range and/or information that doesn't center (mostly cishet & white) kids has been really discouraging since I'm in none of those demographics (as a Black Latinx, agender person.)
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Jan 27, 2022 17:44
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signalnoise posted:I'm going to preface this with 1) this is not based on any professional opinion or basis in data, 2) my mom was an occupational therapist and I worked with her a lot growing up. Yeah, socioeconomic and cultural differences definitely delayed any kind of diagnosis or treatment I could've gotten. I didn't learn this until much later, but I went to preschool which served I/DD or otherwise disabled kids. As I'm from NYC, it was mostly a black and brown student base and unless you were "low functioning" (support levels seems to be the appropriate phrase for that now,) you were basically ignored. I had a language delay, I was/am hyperlexic, have a lot of sensory issues related to scent/texture/light, and I was assessed but in a half-assed "We know something is abnormal about her but she's not severe enough to be worth treating" (I go by they/them now & this was happening in the early 90s.) On top of coming from a Dominican family and a lot of Latinx cultures not being great about disability, I suspect my parents (especially my mom) were deeply in denial. At least now they acknowledge my being autistic but there's still a lot of imposter syndrome I'm feeling (hence why I'm seeking my diagnosis, mostly for my own confirmation.) Edit: Forgot to mention that my mom worked for that same preschool for most of her adult life after I graduated from it, so it's extra egregious that she worked with autistic kids but refused to see it in her own child for so long. SetsunaMeioh fucked around with this message at 19:16 on Jan 27, 2022 |
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Jan 27, 2022 19:12
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signalnoise posted:Well, I think I can sympathize for both parties there really, and that's even with my mom doing the same with me, and with her being an occupational therapist. Our parents expect "more" from us. More what? Who fuckin knows, but turning off the autodiag for your family so that your family never has problems is the side you got. I can tell you a side you could have gotten, maybe. My mom got me into lots of testing and was the reason I got a diagnosis early. However, putting aside all the additional poo poo that comes along with repeating that childhood, part of it is that when I got tested for stuff, I scored really high. IOWA Test of Basic Skills, all that childhood stuff. So, having that along with my behavioral problems at least in part due to undiagnosed and untreated ~stuff~, I became an infuriatingly frustrating puzzle to solve that would never show its potential. At least, I think that's how they saw me. There was talk of a divorce, but they didn't actually divorce until I was about 25. Maybe if there was some way to make a hybrid of our childhoods, we could see what the difference would be? But consider what that kind of concern would have meant for you over time. Are you certain it all would have been for the best? Lack of access to testing (and really, anything medical outside of the yearly physical) weighed a lot on us. My parents are immigrants and had so many more worries than wanting to deal with their youngest child. It was easier for them to label me as weird and abnormal rather than try to get a second opinion. Plus, they thought I would "grow out of it" if they treated me like any other child, which only made things worse for me because I've always been inquisitive and NEEDING to know the reason behind why people act the way they do. Which, of course, made my parents think I was being oppositional. I would much rather have gotten diagnosed earlier, even if it caused more problems for me then because I'd at least have answer and not have this overwhelming sense of shame over the unknown and uncertain.
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Jan 27, 2022 19:54
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signalnoise posted:Then if nothing else, if you do get your diagnosis, and if you are diagnosed as autistic, then I hope you see this as a hopeful vindication, and an upstroke, rather than ruminating on the past in any way. I would recommend getting one for your own closure, personally. Whether you share that with anyone should be up to you, right? Yeah, it's mostly for my own peace of mind, my immediate family, and my friends. Plus, I do want some sense of community but that will happen when it happens.
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Jan 27, 2022 20:02
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Mamkute posted:Hey, I'm autistic and I think I'd rather self-identify as non-binary rather than cis-male. Any advice or lived experience you are willing to share? Are hormones cool and good? I'm nonbinary but AFAB, so my perspective on it is very internalized. I don't have plans to medical transition because I'm pretty ambivalent about my current body, but that means I have to contend with social dysphoria since I'm not out except to a few friends. I had to discover all this stuff on my own by being on the internet during the mid-late 2000s and while researching about Asexuality, I also came across the term "Neutrois" (which I didn't use because it's for people who wanted to medically transition,) which lead me to Agender (which is what I specifically use for myself in queer circles.) I came down on this when I realized that I did not identify with female but I have zero desire to be (or be seen as) male either.
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Mar 6, 2022 17:51
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I got diagnosed with Autism & ADHD (inattentive) yesterday. I was shocked by how easy the entire process was, which was all done remotely. The assessor was great and not demeaning in any way, got the results about a month after the first intake. This might be because I went through an Autism support network and not a private practitioner, but now I'm just trying to process everything and see what my next steps are. The ADHD was a surprise, but it made sense after the assessor explained herself (she was shocked that this was never brought up in my past, but it's probably because of my family not really understanding the full depth of what ADHD means and just assumed it meant "hyperactive" literally.) I'm so relieved. 
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May 20, 2022 16:18
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FilthyImp posted:If I'm really appreciative I feel like saying "Thank you, that way very kind of you" is closer to the intent. I went through GRASP, which is local to me & they recently changed their payment options for a simple assessment. I came in before those changes were made though, so I paid about $875 for the assessment and full report. Now the price is lower for the assessment and just a file stating your diagnosis (along with notes to hand into your job/medical provider if you wish to disclose.) My assessor said that I was under no obligation to disclose to anybody if I didn't want to, which was reassuring.
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May 26, 2022 13:46
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Count Thrashula posted:Thanks for that, it's exactly what I'm looking for. It's a shame that assessment costs so much, but it is what it is I guess. Agreed, especially since most places I've tried to look quoted their rates in the thousands. I'm fortunate to have enough in savings to justify the costs.
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May 26, 2022 14:48
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AngryRobotsInc posted:I am treading on the edge of an Epic Meltdown, because my work is changing SO MANY THINGS all at once. I am just crossing my fingers I can be in private when said meltdown totally happens. Same, I've been taking so much Ibuprofen and have barely slept this week because all the changes at my job has left me with near constant headaches. It's especially bad when I feel like the changes are pointless (sinceost people just ignore my department's recommendations anyways.)
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Jun 17, 2022 21:15
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TIP posted:Those of you who discovered you were autistic as adults, how open about it are you? Do you tell old friends? New friends? Family? People you're dating? I've only told my immediate family about my dx, even though I know most of my family suspect that something is different about me. I just don't want to deal with the invalidation/stigmatizing comments from them. However, I'm very open about this to friends and interacting with others online, since it's much easier to explain myself and it helps to gauge who I can engage with in good faith.
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Jul 3, 2022 14:02
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I realized that my issues with compliments is that most of the time, people are complimenting my ability to mask and not me as a person. Which means I mentally right off compliments as "not true." When someone I trust compliments me, it's "easier" for me to hear them but it still takes me breaking it apart in my head and going "did this mean what I think it means?" I'm those cases, I'll ask for clarification (because I trust them enough to know that I'm not fishing for them but am seeking context.)
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Jul 15, 2022 12:16
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I'm aromantic and asexual, so that means I'm usually the "rational" advice giver to my alloromantic friends. I just have a hard time figuring our what "romantic" actually means outside of socially-decided hierarchies/behaviors regarding intimacy (you know, since behavior =/= attraction.) I care for people deeply but not to where a relationship is worth the romantic label. However, I do like the idea of committed partnership but you can see how the aromanticism would make that hard for me.
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Jul 18, 2022 01:20
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TIP posted:I think some of the reticence maybe comes from my natural inclination to relate to people through personal anecdotes, a behavior that some people REALLY hate so I have learned to self-censor and really consider before I do it. I do this a lot too because it's my way of showing that I'm paying attention to what's being said. I often give a caviat of "I'm saying this because I'm trying to relate to you" and if they still get mad, then I often stop giving them my time/attention. Gender talk: I relate to a lot of what's been said, but I still feel a significant amount of dysphoria only when I'm around other people. When I'm myself, my body (female) & gender (nonbinary/agender) are incidental at best.
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Jul 23, 2022 23:58
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Cynicus posted:is there a good auti-friendly Discord any of you could recommend? whilst I do have a variety of acquaintances and what could pass as friends I guess, I feel very limited in the things I feel comfortable sharing with them or feel like they actually understand. I really curate how I present myself to them and keep a keen eye as to not invoke ire or outright mockery. Like most servers, it can be very hit and miss because the environment can make or break it. Also, unless the demographics for joining a server are very specific, most autistic discord members skew young (like teens into early 20s,) and as someone in my mid-30s, it's really hard to relate to people half my age. I wish there were more discords explicitly for autistic adults.
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Jul 31, 2022 14:12
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TIP posted:I have ADHD and autism and I wonder if that might be a common link among autistic people who like to try new foods. I've heard people describe the ADHD/autism combo as kind of a mind at war with itself, with many conflicting desires like wanting both routine and novel stimulus. One way I get over this is trying food off of my family and/or friend's plate if I've never tried it before. If I don't like it, then I don't feel the incredible guilt of wasting it (fear of breaking routine) & if I do like it, that basically become imprinted in my memory.
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Aug 1, 2022 02:29
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I consistently scored in the 180s whenever I took that test (which I did several times as a way to ensure I wasn't lying to myself.) But yeah, some of the wording of those questions feel too strict as someone tends to read things very literally.
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Aug 12, 2022 13:05
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I usually just don't say hello first. Most of my office doesn't even acknowledge my existence. What gets me more is when people (usually my family) tell me to say hello after I already did, as though I didn't greet someone "good enough."
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Aug 29, 2022 20:30
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Bobby Deluxe posted:Saw this on twitter, an interesting collection of what the online autism community tends to align with: I basically agree with that thread, although I have seen some pushback on social media about the social vs medical model favoring low support needs over high support needs people. I don't think I necessarily buy the "If all the social norms were adjusted, then my autistic traits wouldn't be a problem" attitude that I see sometimes online because I have issues directly relating to my internal processes that would still affect me even if the external world was at its hypothetical best. I still prefer the social model, but I don't believe it's an one-size-fits-all solution either.
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Sep 24, 2022 19:04
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Mamkute posted:https://youtu.be/EZ7cStxqgFE?t=628 I'm One-sided Sid because I can't really relate to people unless we share a particular experience, so I end up talking about my own experiences too much.
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Dec 9, 2022 21:54
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I spent time with family for Christmas and all I got was a mild knee injury (falling after trying to avoid stepping on my cousin's small dog) and a cold.  So I stayed home for New Years, even though I wasn't planning on going out anyways.
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Jan 2, 2023 22:19
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I've started job searching because I'm completely burnt out on my current job (and tired of healthcare in general.) However, I want to switch careers back to what I originally wanted to do (work in publishing, mostly related to editing & clerical stuff) but that's drat near impossible with the current job market (in the US specifically.) I'm trying to reach out to old contacts, but since I'm garbage at keeping up relationships, they're probably just gonna ignore me and/or not see the reach-out at all. I don't know if I'm asking for advice or just venting, but the last two weeks have been so stressful & with so many meltdowns on my part (I started crying on the phone with my boss at one point last week.) I wish I was better at networking, but I feel like a giant liar and I'm not great at explaining my skill set. I'm fairly certain I'm hitting the wall of autistic burnout AGAIN, and the last time that happened, I was homebound for nearly 3 years. I don't want that to happen again, but I still need to work to pay my bills/mortgage.
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Apr 23, 2023 17:51
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Yeah, I've got LinkedIn & have reached out to some people, but no response yet. I don't really post on there though because I don't know what to say & if what's appropriate or not. It's an issue I have in the workplace in general, since my form of masking means making myself as invisible as possible to avoid embarrassment/shame. In the job search, all I've been getting are healthcare recruiters trying to offer me short contract jobs with no health insurance (who try to convince me that most places would make me permanent,) but I'm not going to any job without having insurance, especially since I'm on ADHD meds now. 
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Apr 26, 2023 07:59
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Engineer Lenk posted:Have you looked into medical writing at all? It’d be one way to get back towards publishing/editing where the healthcare background would be a benefit. I have looked up medical editing, which I prefer over coming up with writing itself. There seems to be classes that people offer but much like regular publishing, employers seem to want 3-5 years experience for entry level jobs. I'll keep looking into it though.
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Apr 28, 2023 15:50
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whydirt posted:The term that I think has been overused is neurospicy And that term only came to be because the word Autism gets suppressed on Tiktok/YouTube. Now people just assume it's an actual term and not a workaround.
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May 31, 2023 01:07
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skeletronics posted:I recently rewatched Daria and think she's definitely coded autistic. Loved the show as a kid. It came out my senior year of high school, so I related a lot. Loved it again as an adult, now working in a high school, and seeing the teachers in the show from a totally new perspective. The episode "Boxing Daria" all but spells it out that she's autistic, even though I'm sure that wasn't the intention. I also grew up watching the show (I was a preteen when it was running) & related to Daria so much.
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Sep 22, 2023 02:47
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