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I lost my beloved Golden Retriever Sophie this morning, aged 10. She was the best dog and best friend anyone could ask for, and I’ll never understand how someone like me was lucky enough to have her in my life. She seemed fine earlier this week, but became lethargic on Tuesday. An x-ray revealed an undiagnosed mass in her spleen that had likely ruptured, and she had to undergo a splenectomy on Wednesday. The surgeon said everything went fine and she was well enough for a visit yesterday, where she seemed like her normal waggy self. He was confident that they could discharge her this very afternoon. This morning we got a phone call at 5:15. Despite how well she was recovering, her heart had suddenly stopped and they were administering CPR. They were still working on her by the time we got to the emergency vet, but by then they said there was realistically nothing more that could be done. They brought her out on a gurney a short time later, where she looked much the same as she did when sleeping on my side of the bed, but she was gone. I could only kiss her on the forehead and pray that she knew how much I loved her. I’m sorry if I’m rambling but I’m still just trying to process everything. I knew even with the surgery she was still probably on borrowed time as splenic masses in golden retrievers are usually cancer and usually aggressive ones at that. I just thought I had a little more time. A chance to give her one last ice cream cone, or share a steak with her, or take her for a walk around her favorite lake again… but she’s just gone. All I have are torrents of memories swirling about and I can’t latch onto any single one of them.
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Aug 25, 2023 16:29
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Almost Smart posted:I lost my beloved Golden Retriever Sophie this morning, aged 10. She was the best dog and best friend anyone could ask for, and I’ll never understand how someone like me was lucky enough to have her in my life. I'm really sorry. She sounds like an amazing dog friend. quote:I’m sorry if I’m rambling but I’m still just trying to process everything. I knew even with the surgery she was still probably on borrowed time as splenic masses in golden retrievers are usually cancer and usually aggressive ones at that. I just thought I had a little more time. A chance to give her one last ice cream cone, or share a steak with her, or take her for a walk around her favorite lake again… but she’s just gone. All I have are torrents of memories swirling about and I can’t latch onto any single one of them. Seriously,  . This thread is for working through all the feelings. You're totally fine to check back in and unload more, or share memories or photos if and when you're ready.
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Aug 25, 2023 17:00
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I'm so sorry to hear that, my condolences.
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Aug 25, 2023 23:38
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 Goodbye, Kasia. You've been my very first pet when I got you at the age of fifteen, and there wasn't a day in which I didn't love you. You got me through the shittiest of depressions with such tasks at "feed the lizard". I'm sorry you lost some claws. I'm sorry I once dropped you and you had to wear a little gecko cast. You've been so important to me even if you probably didn't know I existed.
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Aug 29, 2023 08:37
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  We said goodbye to our little Nutmeg last night. Everyone called her Meg. She was 19. I am glad we got one last weekend with her, I made sure she got to lay in the sun on her favorite window sill in the kitchen in the afternoon every day because she couldn’t climb up on her own anymore.
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Sep 5, 2023 15:58
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My family and I had to say goodbye to our dog, Linus. We got him from a rescue as a puppy. He was my first dog. He came down with parasites right after we brought him home and I thought I broke him. A quick vet trip fixed him up really quick.   He was an eager learner in obedience school but never learned anything more than sit, lay down, speak, spin, and paw. He was our whole focus for his first two years of life and was fast friends with my niece who was only a bit older than he. He didn't like men but adored women and children. He could be weird about his paws and what he walked on. He never walked through our kitchen due to the tile in it and always walked around it. Whenever my dad came over, Linus would insist my dad chase him in the backyard. When my mom dogsat for us, he'd refuse to come in until she walked him.  Before we had a fence, he'd get to be off leash at my parents' house. It was one of the only places he could do so. He'd never listen when I told him to come and leave and would zoom around me instead of letting me bring him in. He was an excellent intruder alarm but a terrible guard. He'd hide behind me and bark at new people instead. He also had these big jowls and lip flaps that muffled his small barks. I could tell just from his sounds when he needed or what was happening. He had a happy whine when someone was pulling into the driveway. He had a "I'm hungry" whine. He made these sighing sounds when he waking up and going to sleep that I miss already.  When my son was born, Linus was never jealous. He tolerated the new baby/toddler until later in life when my son could play back. They were as close as brothers and he was a constant play companion, especially in the last few years. My son and I would roll a tennis ball across our family room and play monkey in the middle with him. Linus loved toys but he'd discard them after ripping out the squeaker.  Linus blew out a knee when he was 7 or 8. While we got it surgically repaired, he always had a bit of a limp after that. As he got older, he slowed down but never lost that puppy attitude when it came to playtime. It was only in the last couple of months that he started limping more. We got him medication and helped him with the stairs. By the Saturday before last, his hind legs appeared to be weaker and less stable. By last Wednesday, he couldn't move them despite how badly he wanted to. Arthritis had spread throughout his spine and hips. His tail stopped wagging. He needed our help to potty in the yard. By last Friday, in consultation with the vet, we decided it was time and made an appointment for the next day (yesterday). He saw every beloved family member beforehand. He got lots of pets, cuddles, treats and his favorite human food (sausage, bacon, cheese, and jerky). The day seemed to take forever but also wasn't long enough. We were there with him the whole time as we didn't want him to be scared or alone. He was 11. He was the best first dog anyone could've asked for. He was the best dog I could've asked for my son to have. He will always be my first dog in my heart. 
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Sep 17, 2023 21:26
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That is very sweet, thank you for sharing. Our stories are similar in a few ways, and I’m in about the same place now - our 10.5 y/o rescue has fluid repeatedly entering his chest cavity and it’s just a matter of time, probably a day or three, before we make the decision. My first dog as well and the precursor to our children. Having a tough time accepting it. I’ll edit this post with his memorial. Thank you to everyone for sharing your stories.
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Sep 17, 2023 22:03
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What a beautiful friend, you were so blessed.
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Sep 17, 2023 23:39
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It's been just about 3 months (exactly 3 on Thursday) since I had to say goodbye to my akita Snowbell and it's slowly getting easier but I miss her a lot. I got her at a shelter in March of 2015 and she was a wonderful baby. They said she was nervous of strangers but I had maybe two little cranky growls, she accepted me super rapidly. She was around 3 and a half then I think. She was a joy to have around the whole time. She was diagnosed with T-cell lymphoma back in December of 2022 and I did everything I could but in the last few days everything just shut down and she wasn't getting anything out of what she ate and couldn't stand up for more than a few seconds anymore so I had to make the appointment. She was a month or so short of being 12 years old.  
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Sep 18, 2023 16:51
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I mostly lurk and shitpost so I have no idea where to host images but I’d like to share at least some text about Forrest, who I had to say goodbye to this morning. If I can figure it out I’ll edit in some pics. It’s long but cathartic for me, so thank you for those who choose to read. I’m just so sad. RIP Forrest, my first dog, and my forever buddy. He was almost 11 years old catahoula-mutt. A random cough and heavy breathing Saturday night turned into an ER visit to get his chest cavity drained because it was filled with lymphatic fluid. We knew the prognosis for a dog his age, so we had an amazing Sunday full of pets, hugs, rides, and a trip for a doggy ice cream sundae. He ate fine, did his business fine, and even moseyed up to bed, so I thought he’d have a bit longer, but by early morning he was panting extremely heavy, and with another trip to the ER, they found he had even more fluid built up than the day before. The time had come and I was with him until the end. Forrest was my first dog. As a ~ 1 year old rescue trucked up from Alabama, he was hard to want to adopt - during the trial walk at the shelter he jumped up and ripped a 2 inch hole in my jacket and I was done; however, at the very end he went over to my wife, put his muddy paws on her brand new shows, and gave her a big kiss on her knee. That was Forrest in a nutshell. What follows is your classic boy-girl-dog story. Boy and girl adopt and spoil the poo poo out of dog. Boy and girl get engaged and dog gets a photoshoot with us. Boy and girl get married and get a house, and dog has rule of the roost. Boy and Girl suffer losses and dog is there to comfort us. Boy and Girl have kids , and dog was there to pave the way in how to be responsible for small things. He was a part of our lives for almost a decade, our first baby. We like to think we gave him the best life we could. Pretty much every year he’d need a procedure or special vet visit. In late 2021 he got overly excited and jumped off a tall rock right onto our driveway and mis-judged the distance. He instantly sat next to us and lifted his front right paw up, it was dangling at the wrist. Forrest became the owner of a $10k metal leg so he could walk again. We told ourselves that, along with 3 months PT, was our “big” gift to him, that any time after that was bonus time to be appreciated. He was only 8.5 and we knew he had so much more to give. After the surgery Forrest slowed down a bit, but still loved his one walk a day. He was never huge on being pet, but always wanted to be where we were, which I guess is a Catahoula thing. It was tough when we had kids and we weren’t able to give him as much attention as before. No longer allowed on the furniture, or going on car rides all the time, yet he never showed aggressions or jealousy, never destructive or did business inside. He transitioned into being a loyal and low key companion. He loved just being around, and was simply perfect for us. I worked from home for the last few years so he was forever by my side. The hardest part in all this is that I always had visions of him being a crusty old man. I’d guide him to his food bowl or bed, and he’d always be nearby with a happy little Forrest grunt and warm, soft fur. I’m so sad he didn’t make it there. He was a senior dog, but definitely had a few more years left in him, if it wasn’t for whatever inside messed up his lymphatic system. Probably a huge tumor. We declined in his final morning to do more scanning to find the root cause, we knew nothing could be done. When my son was born, I’d always think about the phrase “A boy and his dog” - looking forward to him keeping the old senior dog going. They actually never really formed that type of a bond, and that’s when I realized that I was the boy, and Forrest was my dog. I’m realizing I’ll never have another Forrest, and I don’t want another Forrest, I just want him by my side. With the death of the dog, the boy realizes that he must grow up. Goodbye my sweet little doggie, and thank you for being with this boy and guiding me along to become a man. I’m so heartbroken and reading these stories let’s me know that’s ok.
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Sep 18, 2023 21:39
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What a good friend, I'm so sorry for your loss.
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Sep 21, 2023 01:09
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I bookmarked this thread a few months ago when we said goodbye to our little gentleman Wembley. He was 14 and in kidney failure and it hurts my heart all over again just thinking about what a sweet boy he was to everyone he met. He was outgoing and loved his brothers and sisters dearly. He was the glue that held out little kitty family together and my wife and I have missed him dearly since that day. His big brother Pancake has lost weight since Wembley has gone. He had taken to breathing hard almost all of the time, unless he was sleeping, and we thought he was feeling anxiety and loss. We took him to our vet yesterday, he was vomiting and not eating on Saturday. They took blood and xrays, and he had to be sedated, as he's always been combative with people that weren't us. Today they called and said he had a mass in his throat. The vet said he would not respond to radiation or chemical therapy. So today I came home from work and laid in the floor with him. He purred and nuzzled my hand for ear scritches, his stomach rumbling the whole time. We've decided to have him laid to sleep in the morning. He can still walk and is responsive and that hurts the most. It's going to be so goddam bad, his last bit of life being angry and afraid. But we can't bear to let him starve to death. And hearing him struggle to breathe hurts in places that I haven't felt since my moms passing two years ago. Hold your special guys and girls tight goons. 
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Oct 3, 2023 23:44
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^^^^Edit: I am so sorry Wembley! I am sure you are a good boy! This is my Squiggles He passed infront of me and there was nothing I could do to stop it - been crying for days. This is a picture from when he stole my backpack so he could lay on it and fall asleep on it.  Edit 2: My Pound Cake knows something is wrong and keeps biting my foot and will not leave my side. I would put a picture but it would have my face in it. E3: This is Pound Cake in his stroller waiting for a walk 
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Oct 9, 2023 04:52
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Rip Big Mac. Senior Persian cat my wife adopted. We got him at the end but his 2 years with us were the best 2 years we could imagine. Being old sucks.
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Oct 10, 2023 21:27
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This is my Opie. We carried her across the rainbow bridge on Friday night after a sudden decline on Thursday. She had developed Cushing's disease at some stage without us (or the vet) detecting it, and was paralyzed in her hind legs from a failed spinal surgery a year ago. My wife and I got her when we moved into our first home together, and have never been apart. She was in our wedding, and was there when we bought our children home from the hospital. She would lay at my feet when I worked everyday, except when my baby daughter was napping and then she would guard the door. I have a million little stories about her personality and empathy and I've been crying since Thursday and can't stop. The depth of the bereavement is completely unparalleled and I've never experienced pain like this before. I keep looking forward to going to bed at night because I'm certain she will come and tell us she is OK. I am waiting on a dream.
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Oct 15, 2023 13:51
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Had to say goodbye to my sweetheart black cat Galaxy today. He was at least 13 or 14, I'm not sure exactly because he was a stray at an apartment building where I lived years ago and I gradually adopted him, despite not having been a "cat person" at the time, because the girl who had been looking after him was allergic to cats. Last January he was diagnosed with diabetes and Cushing's disease, and he was such a trooper while we got his blood sugar and Cushing's under control. He was more or less back to his old self for several months but a couple weeks ago his mobility rapidly declined until he was nearly paralyzed. I thought maybe it was some kind of diabetic neuropathy, but I found out last night at the emergency vet he had a spinal tumor. It was really rough letting him go because he was otherwise so alert and perky, but the prognosis was so bad even with surgery that I had to do it. Even though I just buried him I don't think it's fully set in yet. I'll walk into a room and some part of me expects him to be there, waiting to jump in my lap.
MeatwadIsGod fucked around with this message at 19:37 on Nov 15, 2023 |
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Nov 15, 2023 19:32
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15 years ago I made a thread here - How do I tell if a cat has secret kittens? We ended up rehoming mama and one kitten and kept the other two. One of those two disappeared after my mom let him out when we weren't home. The other one has been with us ever since. We gave her a couple of names, but the only thing that ever truly stuck was "Fatass", pronounced fah-TAHss like a person of dignity and refinement. 7 days ago we lost our ridiculous, bossy, wonderful fat kitty. She developed diabetes two months ago but even with insulin keeping her blood sugar in check she kept having episodes of nausea and vomiting. Her liver started going out of whack from not eating and an ultrasound revealed masses on her pancreas. We made the terrible decision to let her go. The quiet in this house is awful. Opening the fridge would wake her from a dead sleep on the other side of the house. If you walked into a room and she was in there, you knew it. She always held up her end of the conversation. I know 15 years is a good run but it feels like not nearly enough time. I want my kitty back.       Also, can anyone tell me how to pull hidden links from old posts? I can see some of the images in the old thread but not all of them. I'm hopeful they're still lurking in the waffleimages rehost and the parser just hasn't updated the links. Casca fucked around with this message at 07:34 on Nov 16, 2023 |
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Nov 16, 2023 07:15
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I'm so sorry for you both - the silence and absence is something you can't anticipate. Do whatever you need to to get through these first (worst) days. My wife and I held a wake, drinking and going through all of the photos. It stung a lot, but every time it hurt we were thinking that the next time we saw the photos it would feel easier and it does. Take care of yourselves.
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Nov 17, 2023 10:04
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I lost my kitty cat Jake yesterday. She was 15 years old, and she was full on sass at all times. I miss her so much, even though she was "mine" but really my daughter's because she just screameowed at me whenever she saw me. It's so hard, I walk past my daughter's room and she doesn't yell at me from her bed. I wanted infinity more days, and now I have none.
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Dec 31, 2023 07:47
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We said goodbye to Toby today. He was my wife’s first and only pet. He was three years old when she got him from a rescue, and she was in her mid 20s. I met him when I was 29 and he was 6.I opened the door to her apartment and he didn’t even let me get a foot in the door before we started playing in the hall. He was not a lapdog, but he would be glued to my wife’s side the second she sat down on the couch and was her constant shadow. He had a lilt to his steps that made him seem like he was floating. You could not ever figure out how though, his paws were off limits. Never a snap or a bark, just a dignified withdrawal if you attempted to hold one. He was allergic to every normal protein so he ate venison and duck, and then eventually hydrolyzed protein. At some point he seamlessly transitioned from her dog to our dog. He loved me the same way he loved her, even though it was clear that my wife was #1. We found out he had a heart murmur a couple years ago. We managed it with medication, but it continued to progress until it became congestive heart failure last May. He lingered at Stage 2 with the help of pimobendan, diuretics, and 7 walks/pee breaks a day until last night when he very clearly told us it was time to go. His breathing was labored at rest, his appetite was gone, and his tail was down. We said goodbye this morning, almost exactly 10 years from the day he trotted out into the hallway to sniff my hand and wag his tail at me. His ashes will go in his favorite stuffed toy, which will sit in a place of honor wherever we live. We love you little man. Always will.
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Feb 6, 2024 03:52
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We lost Rumple last night. He was 12. My wife had him for 11 years and I was lucky enough to meet him a year after she got him. He had heart disease as many sphynx cats do, and we knew this day would come sooner than later, but we didn't realize how quickly things would happen. We had returned from a 3 week trip overseas and had 24 hours with him where he was just his normal, loving, cuddly self. We had no idea it was coming. And then he suddenly started declining rapidly late last night. My wife is veterinarian, and decided to immediately take him to the ER she works at. We got there in just enough time to be able to realize that this was truly the end, say goodbye, and ease his passing without any further suffering. My only real solace right now is that he didn't pass while we were gone, and that we had a nice final day with him before he passed, none of us the wiser of what was to come. Rest easy, Rumple. I loved you so much.    
Handsome Ralph fucked around with this message at 15:52 on Feb 9, 2024 |
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Feb 7, 2024 04:48
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Happy trails, Rumple. You look like you were a cheeky little grump. Until we meet again.
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Feb 15, 2024 13:21
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Just crying while reading through all the posts in this thread. My partner and I got news today that our cat has at best a few months to live due to cancer. She’s only 6 and I feel like I’ve been hit by a sledgehammer. She is our first pet together and we thought we’d have another decade to spend together. We’re going to try to spoil her as much as we can in the time we have left. If this isn’t inappropriate, I’d love to hear any advice people have on dealing with this situation. I want to do my best to enjoy our last moments and cherish our remaining time with her but I can’t even think about her without feeling devastated even though she’s not gone yet
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Mar 3, 2024 05:52
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I'm so sorry to hear - it's awful news to get, no matter how long they give or how old your pet is. Six is far too young. It sounds like you've got a bit of time to think about how you'd like to move forward, and that can be a mixed blessing. I agree with spoiling your cat. There's two reasons for this. One, one of the silver linings you get to clutch at now is that all sorts of things with long term consequences are irrelevant now. Let the cat get up on the counter and steal your ham. Two, though, is that you'll want memories of you explicitly making choices to bring your pet joy. When we had to put our dog down, the best comfort we had in the weeks after was reminiscing about the joy she'd given us and the things we'd done to give her comfort in the final days. We still talk about carrying her from the lounge room to our bedroom every night because we didn't want her to have to slip and slide over our laminate floors, and give her semi nightly baths to combat a persistent skin infection that we couldn't shake. Euthanasia is a tough thing even when it's right, but it is a kindness even if doesn't feel like one. You can lessen the feelings of guilt by thinking back on better kindnesses.We didn't know we were running out of time, and it can be so easy to take your pets for granted. Luckily, we'd been spoiling our Opie for her entire life so it probably wouldn't have been different had we had some warning. Give your cat cuddles. Take photos and videos and let Google or whoever put them into slideshows with music on them. You might not be able to watch them immediately, but you will one day and you'll be glad you have them. Cry if you need to. Cry with your partner and friends and family. Talk out your feelings and let them out. I had no idea how much I would cry, but when I spoke to people about it they all told me the same thing - they'd cried too. Older people, younger, cops, doctors, rough and tough manly mans man types; they'd all cried when they'd lost their pets. Don't feel bad about feeling bad, or guilty about your grief. If you're religious, you might take solace that the animals are to be raised in the new world. If you're not, then perhaps you can take comfort that you've cared for and loved a small part of the universe that was all your own, and whose life was infinitely better because you were in it. And post. It helps. Best of luck to you.
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Mar 3, 2024 13:42
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This is probably going sound like such a dumb and weird question but does anyone whose lost a pet ever feel regret, or sorry that they could have done more? I put my 11-year old boy down a little less than a month ago. And I know he was spoiled. Everyone who knew how he lived could tell you how spoiled he was. He got my food scraps, he got 2-3 long walks each day. Our schedules, vacations, and activities revolved around him. Yet I still can't shake the feeling I could have done more y'know? I think about all those times he wanted to play and I turned him down, or walk a little bit longer and we went home, or maybe I got short and yelled at him. And I just feel like I could have done more... It feels like I let him down, even though he never ever let me down. Is it normal to beat myself up over this? I never got to do so many things with him, like let him swim in the ocean, go to a different country, let him try more foods. Meet more dogs and people. Feels like all I can do is focus on the negatives or the 'what if's rather than appreciate the time we did have. It feels especially worse because I feel like in the later years of his life we settled into a routine of just a regular walk in the neighborhood. No exploring new trails, no travels, ran out of activities I could think of to do with a 95lb dog. And that upsets me, because it makes me think I got complacent and took him for granted- that he was always going to be there. Because for 11 years he was always there. Right by my side. And it felt like it was going to be like that forever. And now he's not. Maybe I just really miss my friend.  https://i.imgur.com/MquXFKV.mp4  Goodbye buddy Away all Goats fucked around with this message at 01:42 on Mar 12, 2024 |
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Mar 12, 2024 01:37
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I think that's a normal part of grief for both pets and loved ones. You just have to recognize that no matter what you did for him, you would always feel that way. I have no doubt you gave him a good life - He got to spend a lot of time with his best friend, he didn't need anything more.
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Mar 12, 2024 01:59
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I deeply regret not realizing how sick Darla was and how much pain she endured before it got so bad that her teeth started chattering uncontrollably. It wouldn't have changed the eventual outcome but I would have let her go sooner, wouldn't have had her suffer so much pain. She hid it very well but I should have recognized it.
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Mar 12, 2024 03:44
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The thing I regularly regret, is not taking more photos of my boy.
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Mar 12, 2024 05:37
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I’ve got a weird quasi-regret that I’ve never been able to shake. It’s been a little over two years since I lost Dweezil and of course I miss that cantankerous little bastard every day I wake up. He had an aggressive osteosarcoma in his jaw, and in two days went from looking fine to ready to say goodbye. Everything I’ve ever read about that particular condition isn’t good: it’s painful, aggressive, and surgery might get you a few extra months but at what expense of my companion’s dignity? Surgery was never an option for him; I told him that the only thing I would ever ask of him was to tell me when it was time to go, and I would take care of him. He held up his end of the bargain, and so did I. But for some bizarre reason, I find myself incredibly pissed off at an alternative universe me that DID do the surgery. It’s a painfully intrusive thought, but I have this immense anger and regret at some version of me that doesn’t exist. I guess it just comes down to the fact that grief is a vicious, unpredictable beast and there isn’t a right way to experience it. So I’m just gonna tell you goons the one thing I can’t tell myself: the decision you made regarding your pet’s, your companion’s, health and well-being was the right one. You loved them, and it showed.
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Mar 12, 2024 05:55
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Bucnasti posted:The thing I regularly regret, is not taking more photos of my boy. Oh yeah this is another one for me. Also I lost all of Darla's early pictures when I changed phones and didn't think to back them up. E: cancer in the jaw was what got Darla too, and yes you made the right decision. Flesh Forge fucked around with this message at 06:46 on Mar 12, 2024 |
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Mar 12, 2024 06:44
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Thank you all for your experiences. Techno Remix posted:I’ve got a weird quasi-regret that I’ve never been able to shake. It’s been a little over two years since I lost Dweezil and of course I miss that cantankerous little bastard every day I wake up. He had an aggressive osteosarcoma in his jaw, and in two days went from looking fine to ready to say goodbye. Everything I’ve ever read about that particular condition isn’t good: it’s painful, aggressive, and surgery might get you a few extra months but at what expense of my companion’s dignity? Surgery was never an option for him; I told him that the only thing I would ever ask of him was to tell me when it was time to go, and I would take care of him. He held up his end of the bargain, and so did I. I know exactly what you mean because Drogo had osteosarcoma too, just in his leg. Our vet was very blunt and upfront. Based on the X Ray and his size and age, he estimated Drogo only had a few months left to live. The only treatment possible at that point was amputation and chemotherapy which would have been very expensive and even after getting 2nd, 3rd and 4th opinions they agreed that even with treatment most dogs diagnosed with Osteosarcoma succumb within a year or so. But part of me wonders what would have happened if we had just gone ahead with the treatment anyway, or at the very least, the amputation? Or if we had done semi-annual X Rays and caught it earlier? Or maybe it would have been better if we had him put down sooner after the diagnosis. I had multiple tell me it was incurable. That it was painful. Nobody will ever be able to give me the right answer but I feel like i will forever wonder if I did things right. If I did things right by him. I've never had to grieve for someone so, so close to me before. So thank you all for telling me about your experiences with the process. It does help. Away all Goats fucked around with this message at 19:56 on Mar 12, 2024 |
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Mar 12, 2024 19:53
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Away all Goats posted:Yet I still can't shake the feeling I could have done more y'know? I think about all those times he wanted to play and I turned him down, or walk a little bit longer and we went home, or maybe I got short and yelled at him. And I just feel like I could have done more... It feels like I let him down, even though he never ever let me down. The lingering feelings of regret are pretty normal. When I lost Ahboo, all I could think was that I should have walked him more, or petted him more, or not gotten annoyed with him sometimes when he'd come over and But I think of the 14 years we had together, and all the times we DID play or go to the park, the hours and hours of petting him while I watched a dumb TV show with him (he wasn't much for TV, but he'd watch anything with animals, and for some reason, he loved watching basketball). The times, when I knew we were getting late in his life, that I'd sit on the stairs next to his sleepytime spot and just pet him for 20 minutes before going upstairs to bed. I realize that he was happy and fulfilled, and now that I have a new dog, it inspires me to love and care for him that much more -- in honor of Ahboo, not out of regret. I bet your story is similar. You gave your boy a good home and lots of love. I'm looking at that video of him swimming, and I've rarely seen a dog look so happy. If it makes you feel any better, while most dogs love exploring new things, they're also creatures of habit and routine. If lazing around the house most nights was your comfy place, it was probably his too. He would have let you know if he had unmet needs. It's okay to grieve, but don't beat yourself up for the things you didn't/couldn't give him -- think of all the things you did give him, and the times you shared together.
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Mar 12, 2024 20:37
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Grief isn't a feeling, it's a wound. And wounds do heal, eventually. As others have said, regret is almost universal in grief since it isn't possible to min-max your relationship so that you only ever have optimal, positive experiences. It's hard, but you have to forgive yourself for not being perfect and not somehow choosing a different sliding door. At some point you'll notice that the memories that make you saddest now will start to bring you joy again, and this is when you'll start to notice that you've been healing. And this is when you'll be able to start remembering all the good times and joy you bought each other, and that your best friend truly was your best friend and loved every minute with you. I think of my girl every single day, but I don't need to cry anymore (though I am now that I type this out - it's funny what brings things up). Your dogs sound incredibly lucky to have had you all.
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Mar 13, 2024 13:56
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Away all Goats posted:Is it normal to beat myself up over this? I never got to do so many things with him, like let him swim in the ocean, go to a different country, let him try more foods. Meet more dogs and people. Feels like all I can do is focus on the negatives or the 'what if's rather than appreciate the time we did have. It feels especially worse because I feel like in the later years of his life we settled into a routine of just a regular walk in the neighborhood. No exploring new trails, no travels, ran out of activities I could think of to do with a 95lb dog. And that upsets me, because it makes me think I got complacent and took him for granted- that he was always going to be there. Because for 11 years he was always there. Right by my side. And it felt like it was going to be like that forever. And now he's not. That is a beautiful boy and I'm sorry he's gone. It's very normal to beat yourself up and regret all the things you could have done with him. But I guess I would put it this way: You know about swimming in the ocean, traveling, giving him different foods, but he didn't know those things existed and didn't long to do them. He wanted to be with his person and give/receive love. You said you spoiled him and you had a lovely routine of walking him around the neighborhood, and I guarantee you that those were absolutely everything to him. If he had you, he had the best life.
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Mar 18, 2024 01:18
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Thank you all. Today is the 1-month anniversary of Drogo's death. A friend suggested making a digital album and inviting all the people we knew to contribute any pictures, videos, or stories of Drogo they had. While it kind of hurt to look at first, I was eventually was reminded about all the good times and it did make me feel better, especially as I didn't even remember some of them. As a gesture of appreciation and solidarity with all of you who have lost your own pets, here's one last post to remember a dog I loved more than I ever imagined loving something.  https://imgur.com/a/oCxPDep
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Mar 19, 2024 02:56
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What a beautiful boy
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Mar 19, 2024 13:46
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Goodbye Ushi
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Mar 27, 2024 18:55
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ohnobugs posted:Goodbye Ushi Ushi you were the friendliest tripping hazard I've ever known. 
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Mar 28, 2024 07:01
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My three year old asked me when Opie was coming back from the vet and I cried like a baby. Its been nearly six months.
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Apr 5, 2024 13:47
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Rena, my therapy cat of 14 years is gone. She was 21, which is a great life span. Yeah that's all I can post tonight.
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Apr 13, 2024 06:11
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