[COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > [COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

Steve Yun: Aug 7, 2003; I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.; Soiled Meat

Jon Irenicus posted:

pics of selected booster names

https://twitter.com/NPR/status/1425680132799348745

Hello I am here for my first dose of vaccine. I�m sorry, I must�ve forgotten to bring my ID. My name? Anita Thurdose

My name is Juwanna Gimmy Morvac

My name is Thurston Foura Booster

My name is Max Titers

My name is Heywood Jastickme

My name is Ann T Bodees

My name is Stig Meepher III

My name is Ned L Park

My name is Jab Mi Waidon Chu

Hello my name Won Moh Jab

Hello my name is Bill Mesowat

My name is Senn Meedabill

My name is Al Payorfugginfee

My name is Char Jitoomacard

my name? Juan Moe Dos

Hello I�m Meghan Tecils.

Hello I�m Craven Morejuice

Hello I�m Ivana Nutter

Hello I�m Phil Meagan

Hello I�m here for my first dose. Oh sorry I lost my ID. My name? May I. Haffanutter

Hello I am here for my first vaccine shot. My name? Yudon Nomi

Hello my name is Miles O. Titers

Hello this is my 12 year old daughter, Dosa Rupp

Hello this is my 12 year old daughter, Mint E. Rosa

This is my 12 year old son, Don Lemmydie

This is my 12 year old son Walter Yuwatinfor

Hello my name is E. Moon Compromised

Steve Yun fucked around with this message at 21:34 on Aug 16, 2021

# ¿ Aug 16, 2021 21:15

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# ¿ May 19, 2024 20:42

Steve Yun: Aug 7, 2003; I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.; Soiled Meat

Iron Crowned posted:

Waiting at the CVS, pretty blond lady gets in line for the pharmacy, sees my respirator, then puts on a mask.

Surprising it's about 75% mask compliance at the moment

One mask can change a room, and if one mask can change a room, then it can change a city

# ¿ Aug 16, 2021 21:56

Steve Yun: Aug 7, 2003; I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.; Soiled Meat

meet girls at the store posted:

Actual interaction I witnessed at a pharmacy today:

Unmasked Man: �hi I�m here to get the vaccine, it�s my first dose�
Pharm Tech: �okay, unvaccinated people need to wear a mask though, I can offer you this surgical mask for use in the store�
Unmasked Man: �I�m vaccinated�

My mans got so used to lying about his vaccination status that he forgot to stop lying when he was getting the vaccine, he lied so many times that it�s a kneejerk response now

No no no

You misunderstand

He actually was vaccinated

He was trying to snag a third dose

# ¿ Aug 16, 2021 22:20

Steve Yun: Aug 7, 2003; I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.; Soiled Meat

16 year old South Carolina student dead from complications

https://www.cnn.com/2021/08/16/us/lancaster-county-south-carolina-student-covid-death/index.html

# ¿ Aug 16, 2021 23:25

Steve Yun: Aug 7, 2003; I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.; Soiled Meat

Business Gorillas posted:

im back

WORK FROM HOME OPPORTUNITY

are YOU a goon who is dreading to have to go back to a lovely office during a loving pandemic?
do YOU or someone you know have a knot in their stomach because their psycho boss wants them back in the office and see their smile?
are YOU able to have an internet connection for 40 hours a week and able to read, talk, and not be a total shithead on the phone?
do YOU live in Ohio, Delaware, Utah, Arizona, or Illinois?

GOOD NEWS! WE'RE HIRING!
hi, my name is business gorillas and i want to do BUSINESS! my company is currently hiring for phone jockeys in a couple different departments. it's a basic customer service gig that pays $16.00/hr starting plus a signing bonus of up to $2,000 with full benefits, including education assistance. i'm not going to lie, the job is dull and unrewarding, but WHO CARES? i bet your current job is too!

if not wanting to die because your small business tyrant work-landlord keeps masks optional is right for you, send me a dm so we can talk!!!

worried about your resume? no problem! so long as you aren't a complete fuckup, i'll help you with your resume! even if you might be a complete fuckup, i'll still look at your resume and tell you to GET OUT OF MY FACE!!!!!

]WE LOSE ENOUGH OF OUR LIVES TO OUR WORK, GOON. THERE'S NO REASON TO LOSE YOUR LIFE BECAUSE OF IT.

inquire within! my dm's are open!

# ¿ Aug 16, 2021 23:48

Steve Yun: Aug 7, 2003; I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.; Soiled Meat

My ex-girlfriend decided she wanted to live in fear of herpes instead of living with herpes (and me)

# ¿ Aug 17, 2021 03:29

Steve Yun: Aug 7, 2003; I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.; Soiled Meat

fits my needs posted:

https://twitter.com/cliffordlevy/status/1427458019663794176?s=20

LOL it was easier than convincing the antivaxxers to get the juice

# ¿ Aug 17, 2021 03:35

Steve Yun: Aug 7, 2003; I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.; Soiled Meat

Fake names no longer needed on our vax cards

instead Max Titers will be in our hearts

# ¿ Aug 17, 2021 03:36

Steve Yun: Aug 7, 2003; I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.; Soiled Meat

Peak Vax was March, April, May.

8 months later will be November, December, January.

Shoulda made it 7 months just so we�d be ahead of the coming winter wave

# ¿ Aug 17, 2021 03:54

Steve Yun: Aug 7, 2003; I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.; Soiled Meat

Nothus posted:

So most Americans are going to be green-lit for boosters right as under-12's are approved. Vaccine Clusterfuck II, Viral Boogaloo

They�ll spin up the federal mega sites again

# ¿ Aug 17, 2021 03:54

Steve Yun: Aug 7, 2003; I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.; Soiled Meat

gently caress I�m gonna be eligible for my third shot on Christmas

# ¿ Aug 17, 2021 04:10

Steve Yun: Aug 7, 2003; I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.; Soiled Meat

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud posted:

I'm not a physician, but I work in public health metrics for a major US insurer.

My understanding of it, which may be entirely wrong but what we model for, is that once a significant enough proportion of the population is vaccinated, the disease's ability to propagate itself falls below replacement level and it dies out due to a lack of ready hosts.

I can't tell you what percentage that is for covid or anything else. I can tell you that it's happened already for measles in my lifetime. Why we suddenly can't kill off a highly communicable disease when we've already killed one off in my lifetime is left to the reader to figure out.

if r0=8, then that means you need 7/8 of the population vaccinated in order to bring r0=<1

So you need 88% of the population vaccinated.

LOL

Steve Yun fucked around with this message at 06:03 on Aug 17, 2021

# ¿ Aug 17, 2021 06:00

Steve Yun: Aug 7, 2003; I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.; Soiled Meat

# ¿ Aug 17, 2021 06:12

Steve Yun: Aug 7, 2003; I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.; Soiled Meat

Welp that was fast

https://www.tiktok.com/embed/6997028039704038662

https://www.tiktok.com/embed/6997073229466668294

Steve Yun fucked around with this message at 06:22 on Aug 17, 2021

# ¿ Aug 17, 2021 06:16

Steve Yun: Aug 7, 2003; I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.; Soiled Meat

gradenko_2000 posted:

The vast majority of the Philippine vaccine supply is Sinovac, though by now we have all of the brands. My friends and family have received an assortment, to the point where I personally know different individuals who have received Sinovac (myself), Pfizer, AZ, J&J, and Moderna.

I don't think it's a "we want to encourage people to take AZ" thing, because most of our vaccine hesitancy comes from all the media propaganda portraying Sinovac as being effectively sugar-water, and vaxx sites lacking any takers if people know it's Sinovac that's being given out, and conversely any "Western" vaccine gets swarmed... including J&J being preferred over Sinovac!

from what I�ve been told each province in the Philippines was told that they�re on their own so each province bought vaccines independently and has a different menu of vaccines

# ¿ Aug 17, 2021 10:40

Steve Yun: Aug 7, 2003; I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.; Soiled Meat

This poor fucker, remember when it was 6 days?

# ¿ Aug 17, 2021 10:44

Steve Yun: Aug 7, 2003; I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.; Soiled Meat

Relevant Tangent posted:

Moderna works and doesn't show the same degradation of function over time that Pfizer does, correct?

SO FAR. Pfizer has been around longer. We might see a droop in Moderna efficacy once it�s been around as long.

But for now we�re hoping it has staying power.

He have theories that it�s because it has 3x the volume or because the doses are spaced 4 weeks instead of 3 weeks, but who knows for now

# ¿ Aug 17, 2021 11:30

Steve Yun: Aug 7, 2003; I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.; Soiled Meat

https://twitter.com/kateweaverut/status/1424793582603489285?s=21

# ¿ Aug 17, 2021 12:27

Steve Yun: Aug 7, 2003; I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.; Soiled Meat

Well this is soul crushing

https://www.tiktok.com/embed/6996915988608355590

https://www.tiktok.com/embed/6997029184581291269

# ¿ Aug 17, 2021 12:30

Steve Yun: Aug 7, 2003; I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.; Soiled Meat

Inspector Hound posted:

https://twitter.com/9NEWS/status/1427593599252844547?s=19

https://twitter.com/hemofelo/status/1423270670918590466?s=21

# ¿ Aug 17, 2021 12:36

Steve Yun: Aug 7, 2003; I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.; Soiled Meat

Every time Business Gorilla posts a job opening you have to post a business gorilla

# ¿ Aug 17, 2021 13:52

Steve Yun: Aug 7, 2003; I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.; Soiled Meat

PerniciousKnid posted:

Remember when picture threads had to warn dialup users? Makes you think.

100 megabit = no

# ¿ Aug 17, 2021 19:36

Steve Yun: Aug 7, 2003; I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.; Soiled Meat

Rubby posted:

https://i.imgur.com/lgVSf1F.mp4

# ¿ Aug 17, 2021 22:55

Steve Yun: Aug 7, 2003; I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.; Soiled Meat

🎶THE SARS ARE BRIGHT🎵
🎵ON THE MRI🎶
🎵 COUGH COUGH COUGH 🎶
🎵DEEP IN THE LUNGS OF ABBOTT🎶

# ¿ Aug 17, 2021 23:28

Steve Yun: Aug 7, 2003; I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.; Soiled Meat

osprey posted:

survey asks for students' last names

my children�s last names are Johnson and Johnson

# ¿ Aug 18, 2021 01:04

Steve Yun: Aug 7, 2003; I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.; Soiled Meat

https://www.cnbc.com/2021/08/17/biden-administration-set-to-extend-mask-mandate-for-travel-through-mid-january.html

# ¿ Aug 18, 2021 03:17

Steve Yun: Aug 7, 2003; I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.; Soiled Meat

https://www.wsfa.com/2021/08/17/alabama-has-negative-icu-beds-available/

What does a negative ICU bed look like

Is it a bed with black sheets that will explode if it touches a regular ICU bed

# ¿ Aug 18, 2021 03:26

Steve Yun: Aug 7, 2003; I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.; Soiled Meat

LOL

Steve Yun fucked around with this message at 03:30 on Aug 18, 2021

# ¿ Aug 18, 2021 03:27

Steve Yun: Aug 7, 2003; I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.; Soiled Meat

Lovelyn posted:

Horrifying work story about proning:

We have 5 patients on proning rotations on the floor today. Our proning schedule is 16 hours proned, 8 hours supined/side-lying. I was helping the team when one shared a story about a patient who was proned and was lying on his dick. It went ischemic (lost blood flow) and he had 2/3 of his dick and his nuts amputated. Helluva thing to wake up to after being sedated for days/weeks.

Nevermind it was a spoiler

Steve Yun fucked around with this message at 06:17 on Aug 18, 2021

# ¿ Aug 18, 2021 06:13

Steve Yun: Aug 7, 2003; I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.; Soiled Meat

LOL if Abbott�s bungling exposes the top secret plan that everyone in government decided a month ago to get third shots but they agreed to keep it secret

# ¿ Aug 18, 2021 08:43

Steve Yun: Aug 7, 2003; I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.; Soiled Meat

crepeface posted:

https://twitter.com/3AW693/status/1427805195954577416?s=20

...sex workers are allowed to operate during lockdown?

A wise man once told me

�Hoes gotta eat too�

# ¿ Aug 18, 2021 08:45

Steve Yun: Aug 7, 2003; I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.; Soiled Meat

I say time your third shot so that you have maximum protection over the coming winter surge, it�s gonna be a doozy

# ¿ Aug 18, 2021 08:56

Steve Yun: Aug 7, 2003; I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.; Soiled Meat

https://www.tiktok.com/embed/6997603427773648133

This is news to me

# ¿ Aug 18, 2021 09:12

Steve Yun: Aug 7, 2003; I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.; Soiled Meat

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GU8ktxn36wA

Steve Yun fucked around with this message at 11:29 on Aug 18, 2021

# ¿ Aug 18, 2021 11:24

Steve Yun: Aug 7, 2003; I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.; Soiled Meat

DarkEuphoria posted:

Wow look at this goon who never poops

Look at this goon who doesn't waterboard his butt in 2021

# ¿ Aug 18, 2021 11:35

Steve Yun: Aug 7, 2003; I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.; Soiled Meat

Joementum posted:

it's pretty clear there's no medical evidence for that eight month delay, they just put that in there for distributional or political reasons

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/07/28/health/pfizer-booster-shots.html?smid=tw-share

# ¿ Aug 18, 2021 18:01

Steve Yun: Aug 7, 2003; I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.; Soiled Meat

Platystemon posted:

Maximilianus Titros

The Legend of Titers Maximus

# ¿ Aug 18, 2021 18:30

Steve Yun: Aug 7, 2003; I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.; Soiled Meat

EVERYONE WHO IS WONDERING WHY THEY PICKED 8 MONTHS FOR YOUR BOOSTER

Pfizer did that recent 6 month study of efficacy:
https://www.medrxiv.org/content/10.1101/2021.07.28.21261159v1.full.pdf

quote:

Efficacy peaked at 96.2% during the interval from 7 days to <2 months post-dose 2, and declined gradually to 83.7% from 4 months post-dose 2 to the data cut-off, an average decline of ~6%
every 2 months

They're probably extrapolating the 8 months based on how much effiacy declined after 6 months, since the study says 6% effiacy drop every month after the 4 month mark after the second dose, that would suggest a 24% efficacy drop in the 8th month after the second dose

And observing that antibodies dropped off to rely on memory cells, which is not ideal against the front-loaded delta variant

EDIT: Pfizer did another efficacy study against Alpha and Delta that saw falling efficacy after 8 months

Steve Yun fucked around with this message at 03:42 on Aug 19, 2021

# ¿ Aug 18, 2021 18:48

Steve Yun: Aug 7, 2003; I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.; Soiled Meat

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

https://i.imgur.com/sGtoZDT.gifv

Fun fact for anyone who might not know: the extras were told not to laugh but not told what Michael Palin was going to say, so these reactions are all real:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kx_G2a2hL6U&t=82s

# ¿ Aug 18, 2021 19:04

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# ¿ May 19, 2024 20:42

Steve Yun: Aug 7, 2003; I'm a parasitic landlord that needs to get a job instead of stealing worker's money. Make sure to remind me when I post.; Soiled Meat

ram dass in hell posted:

friend is worried im gonna die becauss my first two vaccines were moderna and third is pfizer. What do i say other than lol. Also feel free to quote this deeply ironic post when i die

I hope you live up to your name when you do

# ¿ Aug 18, 2021 19:19

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > [COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

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