[COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > [COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

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Salt Fish: Sep 11, 2003; Cybernetic Crumb

T-Paine posted:

https://twitter.com/youngestwoman/status/1428720287382654977
she's meltin' down hard

Denying care for gender therapy, birth control, STDs, and abortions still cool though.

# ¿ Aug 20, 2021 17:10

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# ¿ May 19, 2024 23:17

Salt Fish: Sep 11, 2003; Cybernetic Crumb

Iron Crowned posted:

That's how my work does it. They wait until the very last minute and then say, "one more month"

We just started WFH again this week, so I'm good until the week of Labor Day. Of course this is all entirely based on the CDC using a red color for the county, when it drops back down to orange, it's time for opener up again.

6 quarters in a row of cancelling our return date and we still have hour long meetings and mandatory trainings about what it will be like to go back. "When we return to the office in $month here's what you can expect"

# ¿ Aug 20, 2021 17:27

Salt Fish: Sep 11, 2003; Cybernetic Crumb

Desantis is a war profiteer converting American lives into stock options and 99% of the country thinks it would be rude to stop him.

# ¿ Aug 20, 2021 17:30

Salt Fish: Sep 11, 2003; Cybernetic Crumb

Shitpostradomus posted:

everyone in my office has a cough.
one employee brought their toddler in two days ago.
now the kid is so sick the employee can't come in and we don't offer PTO so no one really ever calls out.

anyhow since that eats my entire rear end like a corncob, i figured i'd make a cool poster to the CSPAM COVID festival next weekend.

Nice, I already messaged a mod to ask if I could post this on my twitter and sell prints, I'll let you know what they decide.

# ¿ Aug 20, 2021 17:52

Salt Fish: Sep 11, 2003; Cybernetic Crumb

mastershakeman posted:

At school orientation, the whole plan hinges on no rainy days and everyone playing outside with masks on.

Got to see the K setup, it's just tables of 4 and they said positive case= everyone at table is quarantined and Skypes in to watch the other kids have fun in class

What are you complaining about? Either it rains and everyone gets to drink fresh water, or it doesn't rain and everyone gets to play outside. That's a win/win!

# ¿ Aug 20, 2021 21:22

Salt Fish: Sep 11, 2003; Cybernetic Crumb

fits my needs posted:

https://twitter.com/CBSNews/status/1428844293872136194?s=20

Pictured: A woman mourns a lost job

# ¿ Aug 21, 2021 01:05

Salt Fish: Sep 11, 2003; Cybernetic Crumb

I bought a Only Your Respirator Trust shirt to go with my trump kickstarter book that will never exist and my circa 2007 Something Awful branded playing cards lol

# ¿ Aug 21, 2021 04:20

Salt Fish: Sep 11, 2003; Cybernetic Crumb

Louisgod posted:

the thing that happened months ago in india is for some reason happening here, who could have ever seen this coming

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=svdrAHn_LGo

# ¿ Aug 21, 2021 06:14

Salt Fish: Sep 11, 2003; Cybernetic Crumb

Stereotype posted:

i heard that drinking water that has been heated makes you more susceptible to covid. i'm not going to listen to the big government elites who want me to catch covid, i'm going to drink my water straight from the tap just like i do every day and i never get sick from it.

I heard if you mix gylphospate weed killer into the water just a few drops per glass the diarrhea contaminants can't hurt you. (bacteria is a kind of plant)

# ¿ Aug 21, 2021 07:17

Salt Fish: Sep 11, 2003; Cybernetic Crumb

Rectal Death Adept posted:

This isn't a dictatorship you hyperbolic goon fools

they are going to encourage everyone to die while giving them no alternative to dying

Have you considered using your billions of dollars to escape to new zealand, space, or some kind of bunker island?

# ¿ Aug 21, 2021 07:19

Salt Fish: Sep 11, 2003; Cybernetic Crumb

Nocturtle posted:

Seriously, this isn't secret information.

Not sure what to make of this notion to use full approval to enable off label pediatric vaccinations. Why not just give the pediatric EUA in that case? What needle is this threading?

All the rules are fake. There is no process and its just being made up by a calvinball government.

# ¿ Aug 21, 2021 17:02

Salt Fish: Sep 11, 2003; Cybernetic Crumb

cr0y posted:

If it's a gift card the restaurant already has the money.

Grubhub has the money, the employee picks a restaurant and spends it anywhere. The advice to pickup-order and split it with the staff in the form of the grubhub tip is good.

# ¿ Aug 21, 2021 17:32

Salt Fish: Sep 11, 2003; Cybernetic Crumb

Animal-Mother posted:

I unfriended the biggest chud I knew on Facebook some time last year because I was tired of seeing his bullshit and felt bad that I was only still friends with him so I could see when he caught covid and died from the combo of disease and obesity.

Haven't checked Facebook but I found his Twitter and he hasn't posted anything since March. He was pretty active on there, so I assume he is dead.

They had a crush on you and there was no point in staying on FB once you unfriended.

# ¿ Aug 21, 2021 21:47

Salt Fish: Sep 11, 2003; Cybernetic Crumb

I was like what the hell is collodial silver and sure enough the wikipedia page has a section for this:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Medical_uses_of_silver#Fraudulent_products_marketed_during_the_COVID-19_outbreak

I forgot about jim bakker and alex joes being sued to stop promoting it as a covid cure in last year.

# ¿ Aug 22, 2021 02:06

Salt Fish: Sep 11, 2003; Cybernetic Crumb

mila kunis posted:

how the hell has vaccine production not scaled up to meet global needs yet 1.5 years into this thing

The most important thing is protecting the intellectual property rights of biochemical firms.

# ¿ Aug 22, 2021 07:11

Salt Fish: Sep 11, 2003; Cybernetic Crumb

Libs love making fun of stalin but you give them a chance to infect their rivals with a deadly ailment and they have a hard time saying no.

# ¿ Aug 22, 2021 19:04

Salt Fish: Sep 11, 2003; Cybernetic Crumb

It's never a good sign when you have to clarify, but I am NOT in favor of exterminating your political rivals.

# ¿ Aug 22, 2021 19:06

Salt Fish: Sep 11, 2003; Cybernetic Crumb

Judakel posted:

would've fooled me what with your vaccine advice

Hey shithead - take your goons.xlsx spreadsheet and shove it up your rear end. I took 2 months off posting because people were following me around the forum bugging me about J&J posts I made in like September 2020. I'm sorry you have brain damage and can't understand that delta didn't exist back then. Seriously go gently caress yourself and add me to your ignore list because I'm not going to stop posting.

# ¿ Aug 22, 2021 19:13

Salt Fish: Sep 11, 2003; Cybernetic Crumb

P.S I know the first thing you're going to do after reading this is to look up my post history and try to prove how cool you are, so please know in advance that you have a disease and gently caress you.

# ¿ Aug 22, 2021 19:14

Salt Fish: Sep 11, 2003; Cybernetic Crumb

Casey Finnigan posted:

why does the ruling class think that allowing all US hospitals to fill up and allowing the US healthcare system to collapse is going to work out better for them in the long run? It doesn't seem like there's any reason why that would be the case. Am I just dumb? Why not avoid total collapse of the healthcare system instead?

I looked it up and seems like all the New Zealand hospitals are super low on ICU beds even without the pandemic. I don't have any evidence but I would humbly submit this is from every geriatric billionaire moving there to avoid the problems they caused.

# ¿ Aug 22, 2021 20:28

Salt Fish: Sep 11, 2003; Cybernetic Crumb

The Oldest Man posted:

Are we imagining that we have the Chinese government in this country to carry out this campaign or what

Ivermectin overdose.

# ¿ Aug 22, 2021 20:33

Salt Fish: Sep 11, 2003; Cybernetic Crumb

AppleNippleBOB posted:

I loaned my spo2 monitor to housemate and she was at 93%.... I know the caution number is 92%, but what are the realities of that?

If it gets to 90 call the Dr? I don't know if she has a PCP, so just call/do.... who/what?

Not a doctor, but my local hospital has a nurse line you can call and basically their job is to help you understand if you should come in, or if not, who you might want to call. I would start there if it were me.

# ¿ Aug 22, 2021 20:53

Salt Fish: Sep 11, 2003; Cybernetic Crumb

Sphyre posted:

if i worked in early stage drug development and clinical trials i would simply create a molecule targeting the novel coronavirus and use that instead of repurposing existing molecules

Nate Silver looked into it and realized that other successful drugs are all made from carbon with a statistical distribution of nitrogen, hydrogen, and oxygen. If only these idiot chemists would learn a little bit of baseball statistics they could have saved time by skipping right to the most likely combinations of atoms instead of brute forcing every combination of rhubidium, praseodymium and aluminum or whatever.

# ¿ Aug 23, 2021 00:09

Salt Fish: Sep 11, 2003; Cybernetic Crumb

Lenin Stimpy posted:

Exactly.

Wagging our fingers or looking down on antivaxxers isn't going to change anything. In fact, it might just make them cling even harder to their beliefs.

I'm completely serious when I say these people are incapable of being reasoned with, and that we must strategize as such. No reason, no logic, no propaganda will convince them otherwise. Not even faced with death will convince them otherwise. I say all this with sympathy too: they're totally not capable of rational thought about this issue; they've been deeply pilled and there's close to zero chance anyone, even their loved family members, will be able to get them out of it.

We do not deserve to live our lives filled with permanent plague because we also live with people who are too pilled to be reasoned with. An actual functioning government would protect us from that, no matter how unpopular it was.

You're right but there is a silver lining. They're huge pussies and fold instantly when presented even the smallest amount of force. The reason they have all this messaging about "YA'LL VAX AGENTS GON SEE MY GUN BARREL" is that they have to avoid a police officer forcing them to get vaxed at all costs because they would instantly fold without any resistance at all and the argument would be over.

# ¿ Aug 23, 2021 00:56

Salt Fish: Sep 11, 2003; Cybernetic Crumb

I've been advocating for my blue-maga family to take basic precautions and it's not going well. Today my dad sent me a Dr. John Campbell video which came out yesterday basically advocating that vaccinated people go out and get deliberately infected and anyway I'm going to go have a panic attack in the shower for a while.

Click if you want to believe in herd immunity:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20DxL8KhvgA&t=682s

# ¿ Aug 23, 2021 01:15

Salt Fish: Sep 11, 2003; Cybernetic Crumb

McNugget Buddy posted:

He's just reading and interpreting the results of the study - where does he endorse the study?

I don't know what he's reading but its like an editorial by one person?? I clicked both study links and neither of them were this "we could be digging ourselves into a hole with too many vaccines" stuff he's talking about.

# ¿ Aug 23, 2021 01:33

Salt Fish: Sep 11, 2003; Cybernetic Crumb

It's not lying if the vaccines work on your horse.

# ¿ Aug 23, 2021 02:59

Salt Fish: Sep 11, 2003; Cybernetic Crumb

strange feelings re Daisy posted:

Lmao that graphic

momma mia!

# ¿ Aug 23, 2021 03:30

Salt Fish: Sep 11, 2003; Cybernetic Crumb

tenderjerk posted:

https://twitter.com/MerylKornfield/status/1429904535187828736?s=19

"Representing parents" is not clear about which side of the case they're on.

# ¿ Aug 23, 2021 22:10

Salt Fish: Sep 11, 2003; Cybernetic Crumb

McNugget Buddy posted:

Something I've noticed in recent years is conservative pundits co-opting leftist phrases

Example!

https://twitter.com/karol/status/1429956802972725254

They want you to know that they value your beliefs the same amout as their troll beliefs which they just made up.

# ¿ Aug 24, 2021 01:13

Salt Fish: Sep 11, 2003; Cybernetic Crumb

SirPablo posted:

I wish we had a forum poster that worked at TSC. I need to hear about the stupid fuckers taking a tube of horse paste to checkout, each knowing exactly what is going on.

oh poo poo that would be badass

# ¿ Aug 24, 2021 03:40

Salt Fish: Sep 11, 2003; Cybernetic Crumb

Please, president biden, please go on TV to ask americans to stop eating horse paste. We're all praying you can bring us together on this joe, we need you to go on TV and ask them to stop eating horse paste.

# ¿ Aug 25, 2021 00:22

Salt Fish: Sep 11, 2003; Cybernetic Crumb

I got an MRI with contrast and it was chill, fun really totally painless and pretty relaxing way to spend a few hours in a tube.

# ¿ Aug 25, 2021 03:19

Salt Fish: Sep 11, 2003; Cybernetic Crumb

Hunkered down in my civil war 2 trench, sipping a horse-paste milkshake, waiting for the respirator militia to try to storm our position.

# ¿ Aug 25, 2021 04:39

Salt Fish: Sep 11, 2003; Cybernetic Crumb

Agean90 posted:

American unions are unfortunately made of of Americans

# ¿ Aug 25, 2021 19:04

Salt Fish: Sep 11, 2003; Cybernetic Crumb

✔️ half-mask
✔️ cspam tshirt
✔️ 3rd dose appointment

We're on track to survive this thing. CVS let me schedule an appointment for 3rd dose while filling out that I do NOT have an immune disorder, so that was weird but we'll see if they juice me up this friday.

# ¿ Aug 25, 2021 22:42

Salt Fish: Sep 11, 2003; Cybernetic Crumb

inferis posted:

this was the article directly below it for me

The special welcome was dozens of unmasked strangers cheering by the door as they walked in.

# ¿ Aug 25, 2021 22:54

Salt Fish: Sep 11, 2003; Cybernetic Crumb

mawarannahr posted:

is chud a slur or something else?

It was an attempt to make a slur but you can't get it to work as one because socially its punching up, so it ended up like an endearing nickname.

# ¿ Aug 25, 2021 23:22

Salt Fish: Sep 11, 2003; Cybernetic Crumb

How on earth do in-laws stop a fully grown person from getting the vaccine? You just... walk in and ask for one.

# ¿ Aug 26, 2021 00:49

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# ¿ May 19, 2024 23:17

Salt Fish: Sep 11, 2003; Cybernetic Crumb

All you have to do is don your HF-802sd and ask for one.

# ¿ Aug 26, 2021 00:50

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > [COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

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