Bicyclops posted:

had a dream that I had tons of FB notifications and I logged in just to see a bunch of people saying "have you seen this?"

when I clicked through it was a trailer for a new game called Yakuza Gaijin: Boston. the protagonist looked EXACTLY like me and had my first name, but clearly spoke Japanese in kiryu's voice. the trailer had this kickass music that's still stuck in my head and it flashed between different scenes.

the real estate game rival was legendary boston slumlord, Anwar (he is a real person) and a lot of the flashes of substory had some of my favorite Boston public transit people you see all the time, like Orange Line Strongbad, Mr Jinglecoins, and the Homeless Riddler (all are pretty self-explanatory) there was clearly a mission where you got to smash keytar bear in the face with his own instrument (he wears a bear suit and plays the keytar in train stations). there was a boss in the museum of science lightning cage that looked awesome.

some of the mini games I could see included a Simpsons Arcade Game cabinet, a full Magic card game where you could draft in my favorite Cambridge game store, candlepin bowling, ice skating dance battles, and skeeball.

at the end of the trailer were the words every gamer dreams of seeing: AVAILABLE NOW. the protagonist who looked just like me smiled and winked at the screen.

I went to download the game, of course, extremely hype to play a Yakuza game starring me but when I stood up, my head started hurting all of a sudden. I heard a deep, anime villain laugh and the trailer music started back up, and my head got worse. I looked in my tv and saw my reflection, and I had a really tiny baby head. it was still shrinking and the laugh got louder. I went to scream and woke up hearing my youngest crying, then got up to get a bottle instead of playing an epic new Yakuza game.

Pablo Nergigante posted: