Who Threadglightninged 2023: The Delay of Destiny

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > Cinema Discusso > Who Threadglightninged 2023: The Delay of Destiny

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Uncle Boogeyman: Jul 22, 2007

live with fruit posted:

It'll probably be bad but David Lowery's been able to cash Disney checks and keep his dignity.

look at his wikipedia photo and tell me that man has been able to keep his dignity

# ¿ Mar 15, 2023 19:32

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# ¿ May 16, 2024 00:48

Uncle Boogeyman: Jul 22, 2007

kalel posted:

quantum of solace is loving awful, what are you people smoking

It�s bad but by default it�s pretty much the second best Craig Bond after Casino Royale

# ¿ Mar 18, 2023 16:07

Uncle Boogeyman: Jul 22, 2007

Grendels Dad posted:

Is No Time to Die that hated? I thought it was OK. Didn't even make it through QoS OR Spectre, which is pretty rare for me.

I thought No Time to Die sucked rear end. Skyfall has a couple moments and Spectre has like one moment.

# ¿ Mar 19, 2023 19:27

Uncle Boogeyman: Jul 22, 2007

between Pig and The Menu i am 2 for 2 on not at all liking recent movies about foodie culture that it seems like everyone else loved

# ¿ Mar 28, 2023 20:36

Uncle Boogeyman: Jul 22, 2007

Failed Imagineer posted:

Ah yes, the mid-90s, when there was a complete absence of paranoid white supremacist conspiracies in America. Absolutely zero federal buildings exploded by neo-Nazis

they pretty much tackled it head on too, the X-Files movie opens with a very thinly veiled version of the Oklahoma City bombing

# ¿ Mar 29, 2023 15:37

Uncle Boogeyman: Jul 22, 2007

Chairman Capone posted:

Also notable that both Timothy McVeigh and Chris Carter were radicalized into their conspiracy views from reading Behold a Pale Horse.

god that book was everywhere in the '90s huh

# ¿ Mar 29, 2023 16:58

Uncle Boogeyman: Jul 22, 2007

Cool Kids Club Soda posted:

Is Bautista the anti-Rock?

he's just the new Rock. in 10 years everyone will be sick of him just like everybody who ten years ago loved The Rock is sick of him now.

# ¿ Apr 3, 2023 21:35

Uncle Boogeyman: Jul 22, 2007

i liked the roughly 20 minutes of monster stuff total from Godzilla '14 and King of the Monsters

# ¿ Apr 21, 2023 00:21

Uncle Boogeyman: Jul 22, 2007

Nightmare Cinema posted:

What I'm saying is Shin Godzilla is best Godzilla and it's not even close.

best of the 21st century, anyway

# ¿ Apr 21, 2023 00:36

Uncle Boogeyman: Jul 22, 2007

Black Lighter posted:

And Chloe Zhao just doesn't seem like she has the sensibility to make a good ~~horror~~ movie

# ¿ Apr 24, 2023 18:57

Uncle Boogeyman: Jul 22, 2007

i dunno i liked it as a kid but as an adult it seems apparent that ace ventura 2 trades being transphobic for being insanely racist

# ¿ Apr 28, 2023 19:41

Uncle Boogeyman: Jul 22, 2007

MacheteZombie posted:

Lol so many people are convinced the Wright version was no good because the "leaks" confirmed there was no Luis and Scott was gunna be more of a prick instead of a loveable schmuck.

i dunno, considering his next project after leaving Ant Man was Baby Driver, not sure we can count on his version as having been good either.

# ¿ May 15, 2023 20:53

Uncle Boogeyman: Jul 22, 2007

X-Ray Pecs posted:

I didn�t see Baby Driver, but Last Night in Soho is baaaaaaad and really makes you question who thought any part of act three was a good idea.

Last Night in Soho for all its flaws still considerably better than Baby Driver

# ¿ May 16, 2023 14:57

Uncle Boogeyman: Jul 22, 2007

for how much of a focus Baby Driver puts on its soundtrack, the soundtrack to Last Night in Soho is way better, and actually feels like the songs were picked for a reason beyond "here are some songs i like"

# ¿ May 16, 2023 17:07

Uncle Boogeyman: Jul 22, 2007

Alhazred posted:

Outside the dance scene (which is amazing) there's honestly not that much to Last Night in Soho.

Correct. But it did not make me want to die of cringe like Baby Driver did.

# ¿ May 16, 2023 18:15

Uncle Boogeyman: Jul 22, 2007

i always took it as faking the heart attack was a desperation move to prevent being blown up, but the thing didn't count on getting defibrilated and going all thing-mode was basically an involuntary defensive reaction

# ¿ Jun 5, 2023 16:03

Uncle Boogeyman: Jul 22, 2007

that dog wasn't even a Thing, that's just what happens when you don't give huskies enough to do

# ¿ Jun 5, 2023 17:13

Uncle Boogeyman: Jul 22, 2007

Snowman_McK posted:

The first one really only works thanks to Mickey Rourke. It's a by the numbers plot with a weak script and then Mickey Rourke delivers a really good growly, drunken monologue that somehow pulls the whole thing together and gives it weight that it has, in no way, earned.

i watched the first Expendables for the first time recently and sometime during Mickey Rourke and Sylvester Stallone's mumble-off i realized "i have no idea what either of these guys are saying"

# ¿ Jun 9, 2023 15:46

Uncle Boogeyman: Jul 22, 2007

Basebf555 posted:

The thing with The Expendables movies is they look like poo poo. They are drab, boring looking films, which for me is a deal-breaker in the age of John Wick.

the other thing i noticed about The Expendables is all the action couldn't feel more like Stallone just handed it all off to his second unit and went "yeah just do whatever". it stands out because he did Rambo IV two years before and the action in that is really good.

# ¿ Jun 9, 2023 15:51

Uncle Boogeyman: Jul 22, 2007

Snowman_McK posted:

It's not a reading comprehension thing (gently caress you) it's just not a very good scene. Zombies always require an enormous amount of contrivance to be a threat and the battle of yonkers features a massive, massive, massive amount of contrivance. There's 'the military makes non ideal decisions under pressure' and there's 'the military makes the worst possible decision at every single point.'

It also brings to the fore that Brooks never quite decided if the zombies were magic or not. Artillery being ineffective against them for instance, because it didn't score direct headshots or couldn't achieve the 'blood balloon' effect. The blast and shockwave of artillery liquifies muscle and pulps bone, to say nothing of what it does to the brain itself. They can't 'drag themselves forward' if they no longer have limbs or bones attached to each other. Also, something that has to drag itself forward on its arms is a slower, less effective enemy than something with legs. "soft infantry in the open" is something that artillery has been extremely effective against for several hundred years. Unless, they're magic and thus completely pulping the bodies isn't something that kills them

Also, 'literally thousands of infantry with scoped rifles' is something a zombie army couldn't get past. Back in WW1, it was estimated that a group of riflemen attacking another group of entrenched riflemen would need a twelve to one advantage. That's infantry, who can run forward, take cover, occasionally fire back. Not a shambling, slow moving horde of soft targets. Rifle rounds kill tissue they pass through (there's some absolutely horrifying stories from the various mass shootings in the US about what 5.56 does to tissue) and, so, even non headshots are killing muscle, destroying nerve connections, breaking bones. Unless, of course, the zombies are magic.

It's a blend of 'here's some actual research I did on how the military might react' mixed with arbitrarily deciding why that wouldn't work. The idea of the military reacting exclusively with Cold War era tactics ten years into the war on terror is it's own problem.

Essentially, there's a reason why zombie movies either skip the part where the zombies overcome the military or end with the military showing up and restoring order. Because as soon as you try to explain why 'hordes of soft targets overcome machine guns' you end up with something dumber than galactic wars being settled by sword fights.

no, i�m pretty sure zombies would beat the army

# ¿ Jul 13, 2023 01:45

Uncle Boogeyman: Jul 22, 2007

"what am i supposed to believe that zombies are magic?" yes

# ¿ Jul 13, 2023 16:38

Uncle Boogeyman: Jul 22, 2007

Grendels Dad posted:

Remind me what that means, please. Pretend that I have no idea what a blockchain is.

don't worry about it

# ¿ Jul 14, 2023 22:06

Uncle Boogeyman: Jul 22, 2007

the theater i went to see Oppenheimer at wasn't showing Barbie but they worked out a deal with another local theater where if you brought a ticket stub for Barbie from that theater or vice versa you got a free popcorn.

# ¿ Jul 24, 2023 22:06

Uncle Boogeyman: Jul 22, 2007

Escape from L.A. is not as good as Escape from New York (Carpenter's best movie), but it does whip rear end. I owe Vampires a rewatch but I'd tentatively call L.A. Carpenter's last really good movie and a decent capstone to his career.

# ¿ Jul 27, 2023 16:46

Uncle Boogeyman: Jul 22, 2007

what are some movies other than Escape from L.A. that are sequels that double as parodies of the first movie? I guess you could argue Evil Dead II but I feel like there are others I'm forgetting.

# ¿ Jul 27, 2023 17:45

Uncle Boogeyman: Jul 22, 2007

Basebf555 posted:

Gremlins 2 is a good one

Pope Corky the IX posted:

Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2

duh, two obvious ones i overlooked.

Halloween Jack posted:

Idunno if Slumber Party Massacre II counts as a parody of the first, but it takes the satire into outright surrealism.

this reminded me of another: Sleepaway Camp II (and III)

# ¿ Jul 27, 2023 17:53

Uncle Boogeyman: Jul 22, 2007

joylessdivision posted:

Sleepaway Camp 2 is fantastic and I honestly like it better than the original.

Depending on my mood on a given day i agree with this.

# ¿ Jul 27, 2023 19:19

Uncle Boogeyman: Jul 22, 2007

i saw Lifeforce on 70mm like three rows back from the screen. one of my loudest and most awesome movie theater experiences.

edit: pretty sure i was also on edibles, pretty much SOP for me at the movies these days

Uncle Boogeyman fucked around with this message at 22:16 on Jul 27, 2023

# ¿ Jul 27, 2023 22:05

Uncle Boogeyman: Jul 22, 2007

mycot posted:

21 Jump Street the movie is a parody of the original 21 Jump Street but that might be stretching the definition of sequel.

that's more in the lineage of the '90s TV adaptations that were parodies of their source material, like The Brady Bunch Movie

# ¿ Jul 27, 2023 22:38

Uncle Boogeyman: Jul 22, 2007

A True Jar Jar Fan posted:

The talky, stuffiness of those old films is great, bring that back to movies

what they need to bring back from the Hammer movies is having one castle set that you reuse and redress and shoot like 50 movies in.

# ¿ Jul 28, 2023 00:41

Uncle Boogeyman: Jul 22, 2007

Ghost Leviathan posted:

I'm actually getting rather Dune vibes from Rebel Moon in particular, probably on purpose I'm sure. But that whole sci-fantasy mix is just kind of a whole swirling cauldron at this point.

quite literally "we have Dune at home"

# ¿ Aug 24, 2023 18:24

Uncle Boogeyman: Jul 22, 2007

MacheteZombie posted:

The Incal lol

i think he just loves taking promo photos

# ¿ Sep 19, 2023 15:37

Uncle Boogeyman: Jul 22, 2007

What We Do in the Shadows and Hunt for the Wilderpeople were both pretty fun but he burned through that goodwill fast. I didn't see Jojo Rabbit but it looked like the worst bullshit ever.

# ¿ Sep 19, 2023 16:13

Uncle Boogeyman: Jul 22, 2007

Babysitter Super Sleuth posted:

Jojo Rabbit is a movie that I feel you�re gonna give a lot less credit if you know he made the pee pee doo doo nazi comedy out of a book that was a serious-as-a-heart-attack drama about fascism and the way it destroys your soul.

i just already saw Life is Beautiful when it first came out and i didn't particularly like it then either

# ¿ Sep 19, 2023 16:41

Uncle Boogeyman: Jul 22, 2007

Jakob the Liar felt like it was cranked out to be the American Life is Beautiful, like they couldn't get the rights to a straight English language remake starring Robin Williams but they could get the rights to that book

# ¿ Sep 19, 2023 18:54

Uncle Boogeyman: Jul 22, 2007

Underrated (and uncredited) serious Robin Williams role: Dead Again, in which he basically plays that movie's equivalent of Mickey Rourke in Body Heat

# ¿ Sep 20, 2023 18:11

Uncle Boogeyman: Jul 22, 2007

HUNDU THE BEAST GOD posted:

I'm gonna go master gardener on you buddy.

Charlie Goes Card Counter All Over Everybody's rear end

# ¿ Oct 6, 2023 15:04

Uncle Boogeyman: Jul 22, 2007

i feel like all you need to know about David Ayer is the closest he's come to a directing a good movie was Found Footage Buddy Cop Movie

# ¿ Oct 6, 2023 15:51

Uncle Boogeyman: Jul 22, 2007

Van Damme had a way better average than Stallone or Willis. i recently did a Van Dammeathon and went through almost 30 movies, it was great. i tried to do a Stalloneathon after and gave up after like 5, it was like eating a big bowl of sand.

# ¿ Oct 25, 2023 15:27

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# ¿ May 16, 2024 00:48

Uncle Boogeyman: Jul 22, 2007

DarkSol posted:

Rumble in the Bronx?

that was his U.S. breakthrough, but not really a Hollywood movie.

I need to read The Last Action Heroes, I don't really have a sense as to how well known Jackie Chan was in the U.S. before Rumble. I know they tried to make him happen with that movie The Protector but it's by all accounts terrible. I think he was in Cannonball Run too? i assume film nerds knew about him in the '80s at least.

# ¿ Oct 25, 2023 18:18

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > Cinema Discusso > Who Threadglightninged 2023: The Delay of Destiny

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