BYOB Taskmaster IS CONCLUDED FOR 2023, Congratulations To The Winners!

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > BYOB Taskmaster IS CONCLUDED FOR 2023, Congratulations To The Winners!

«‹›10 »

Rarity: ~*4 LIFE*~

OFFICIAL SUBMISSION

Meet my friend Rocksanne :shobon:

_{I'm a pretty pony! Sig credits: How Wonderful!, Heather Papps, MAP20 Gotcha, Plant MONSTER.}

# ? Feb 22, 2023 20:39

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# ? May 8, 2024 23:40

Tiny Myers: say hello to my little friend

Rarity posted:

OFFICIAL SUBMISSION

Meet my friend Rocksanne

rocksanne....

Dumb Sex-Parrot I love your submission by the way it's so pretty.

Thank you How Wonderful! for the autumn sig!

# ? Feb 22, 2023 20:50

Manifisto

Rarity posted:

Rocksanne

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Feb 22, 2023 20:52

Goons Are Gifts

FOLLOW-UP TASK!
Helloooooooooooo again my rock'n'roll fans!
Our exciting follow-up task is here and with that, the entries so far are CLOSED! So the Rockstar you posted now is the one you need to go with for now!

You shall now place your rock outside or nearby your home ("outside your home" does not necessarily mean out of doors! it just means someplace that's not inside your home! and in some cases you may need to creatively interpret what this means for your entry, do your best and I'll let you know what I think!) and find a special place for it, leave it there and photograph it in that special place!
Find your rock a home, a good home, something that represents him and you well, something he and you will find comfortable and nice. Post the home, post the rock, be ready for our big rock co ncert at the end!
You have until 5 PM EST, so 2 hours from now to post your rock in his new home, after that the submission period is over and I get to judge your precious rocks and all the stars alongside it! Then we will have a huge Rockstar super concert and enjoy the evening together, with our new rock friends!
Does that sound like a plan? I hope it does! Your time begins
.. Now!

# ? Feb 22, 2023 21:01

Rarity: ~*4 LIFE*~

Are these tasks being scored separately or together?

_{I'm a pretty pony! Sig credits: How Wonderful!, Heather Papps, MAP20 Gotcha, Plant MONSTER.}

# ? Feb 22, 2023 21:10

Manifisto

Rarity posted:

Are these tasks being scored separately or together?

I believe there will be one combined score for both parts. GaG can correct me if I'm wrong!

# ? Feb 22, 2023 21:15

barnold: what do u do when yuo're born to play fps? guess there's nothing left to do but play fps. boom headshot

oh hey....my rock is on the internet and in the yob. The Cloud� is most definitely not inside my home (though it is inside my heart)

# ? Feb 22, 2023 21:18

Stoner Sloth

OFFICIAL SUBMISSION

now you might think i've created quite a problem for myself here. you might think that indeed.

okay i probably have since first i'd have a lot of trouble shifting my rock and secondly, and more importantly, it would be a complete Australian Word of a move because Uluru is sacred to the Pitjantjatjara people of the area (Anangu in their language). so first i'll tell you a little about the rock while i think of how i'm going to accomplish this - it's a 348 meter tall sandstone formation and measures about 9 and a half kilometers around its perimeter.

it famously is red coloured to the presence of a large amount of iron oxide, it's also well known to change colour with the light leading to some pretty amazing photos. it's particularly spectactular at dawn and sunset, glowing a vibrant red. we know that people have been living around there for at least 10,000 years and probably much, much longer and they have many Dreamtime stories related to it though for the sake of brevity i'll leave that to the reader's own ability to find.

now while i've had you distracted telling you a little bit about my rock, i put in a few calls and was able to get this photo of where i left it - i think you'll agree it's a great shot...

.. taken from freakin' space!! :hellyeah:

i think you'll agree that i've gone to a lot of effort to get this spectacular placement of my rock as well as highlighting it with a special light show and i clearly deserve to win

# ? Feb 22, 2023 21:34

Stoner Sloth

if anyone feels my rock might be a little bending of the rules, i'd ask that it be taken into account that it was pitch black outside when it was time to find a rock and also my rock is the only one that can be seen... from freaking space!! :hellyeah:

# ? Feb 22, 2023 21:43

Goons Are Gifts

Rarity posted:

Are these tasks being scored separately or together?

The Rock tasks are all one! I judge both the rock, it's decoration and painting as well as the position you found for it, all in one score but separately for me so I have various ways to judge them. If your rock is super fancy and amazing looking but the rock home is rather simple, you might get good points for the decoration but maybe not as much for the position, leading to final score based on all of these criteria

Either way, make sure you and your rock friend have fun!

# ? Feb 22, 2023 22:01

Rarity: ~*4 LIFE*~

I think my choice will satisfy the judges :hai:

_{I'm a pretty pony! Sig credits: How Wonderful!, Heather Papps, MAP20 Gotcha, Plant MONSTER.}

# ? Feb 22, 2023 22:02

Dumb Sex-Parrot: Absurd Pox Term
Rad Buxom Strep

Retard Ox Bumps
Borax Dumpster

Dares Box Trump

OFFICIAL SUBMISSION

I put the rock outside in a snug corner of the garden next to a big pile of leaves. I'm pretty sure we've got a hedgehog hibernating in it, so the rock is in good company!

Tiny Myers posted:

Dumb Sex-Parrot I love your submission by the way it's so pretty.

Wow thanks :blush:

thank you Saoshyantx4, Plant MONSTER. and deep dish peat moss for the excellent signature

# ? Feb 22, 2023 22:13

Charles Bukowski: Taskmaster 2023 Second Place Winner

OFFICIAL SUBMISSION
I humbly submit my rock task parts 1 and 2. Here is what happened:

I could not find my favourite smooth stone I keep in my backpack, it would have been perfect for this. Instead I had to panic and think about where there were rocks? My walkway!

Hmm, it seems to have snowed. I think my boot can solve this problem!

drat right. Okay I've got the rock now. Now I have to paint it. Wait a second, I don't have paint. Why would I have paint? Okay well what do I have?

Store brand ketchup and a weed brush. Yeah I was in the scouts, its all about improvising.
Now lets get to the art!

There, my name with a happy yellow sun I drew with mustard and some of the ketchup to represent the fiery power of our solar friend.

Now it lives on the plastic table where I sit and smoke. It will live there until I no longer live here. Have a good day orbs.

Charles Bukowski fucked around with this message at 22:23 on Feb 22, 2023

Thank you Saoshyant for the lovely signature.

# ? Feb 22, 2023 22:15

Quadramind

Official bonus submission!

# ? Feb 22, 2023 22:16

Finger Prince

OFFICIAL SUBMISSION

Alright can it Rocky, or its back in the glove box.

# ? Feb 22, 2023 22:17

your friend sk: (ヤイケス!)

OFFICIAL SUBMISSION

as much as i'd like to print the rock out and put him in the lawn, our printer isn't working right now. i brought him to wrestlemania instead. i hope all the fans enjoy seeing him

Join the BYOB Army

^{thank you again Saoshyant!!}

# ? Feb 22, 2023 22:21

Goons Are Gifts

Absolutely stunning and amazing submissions!! You got another hour left to find a cozy and nice home for your personal rock friend or adjust and perfect your submission! I'm so excited to judge these beautiful rockstars!!

# ? Feb 22, 2023 22:42

biosterous

on the one hand, it may seem a little sad to bring my rock and fuzz out to the garbage. but you must think of the purpose of these items:

the fuzz was created by a cat at play, and brought joy to the cat. it is now too small for the cat to notice and enjoy it

the design of the litter is to be removed from the box when it is no longer fresh, so that the cat will not be saddened by a stinky box

both fuzz and litter rock have fulfilled their purpose: improving the life of a cat. both are going peacefully to their final destination, content and satisfied. additionally, they have been given one last hurrah, presented to all of you, at the absolute peak of accomplishment

do not be saddened by throwing away of the litter and fuzz, but join with them in celebration of a life well lived

^{^{thank you saoshyant for this sig!!!}}
^{^{gallery of sigs}}

he/him

# ? Feb 22, 2023 22:43

Rarity: ~*4 LIFE*~

OFFICIAL SUBMISSION

Now you may have noticed that Rocksanne ain't no ordinary pebble

She's got flair

She's got style

You're not going to find her in a garden

Or under a tree

Or on the edge of a driveway

No, Rocksanne needs to be somewhere special

Somewhere worthy of her grace

Rocksanne is a queen

Rocksanne needs to live in a loving castle

_{I'm a pretty pony! Sig credits: How Wonderful!, Heather Papps, MAP20 Gotcha, Plant MONSTER.}

# ? Feb 22, 2023 22:49

Manifisto

dang there is some stiff competition here, glad I'm not the one doing the judging!

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Feb 22, 2023 22:56

Manifisto

okay, as it's now just past 5pm EST, submissions for Task 2 are closed! our judge for this task, GaG, will weigh in with the scores shortly!

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Feb 22, 2023 23:06

nut

gdam, it take me 2 hours to write and proof a post

# ? Feb 22, 2023 23:29

Goons Are Gifts

Oh no, did you have a submission but missed the line, nut? :ohdear:

Posting my divine judgment shortly! Running a bit late, but it's just not easy with submissions of this caliber!

# ? Feb 22, 2023 23:32

nut

no i don't even have rocks nearby ( it's illegal to wake them during winter)

# ? Feb 22, 2023 23:36

Manifisto

nut posted:

no i don't even have rocks nearby ( it's illegal to wake them during winter)

I'm going to call shenanigans on this, as nuts are technically very small rocks

it's called science my dude

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Feb 22, 2023 23:39

nut

oh in that case i look like poo poo

# ? Feb 22, 2023 23:40

Manifisto

nut posted:

oh in that case i look like poo poo

you look like your usual dashing self, bicycling that air like you just don't care

# ? Feb 22, 2023 23:43

Goons Are Gifts

Finger Prince posted:

OFFICIAL SUBMISSION

It is a rock star.

Finger Prince posted:

OFFICIAL SUBMISSION

Alright can it Rocky, or its back in the glove box.

Entry #1
Now, our first powerful entry, Rocky the Rockstar. Truly a magnificent being, his home in the car makes sure he is a mobile, always ready to go superstar, heading whereever he may be needed. I am sure he will be!
This is a nice, beautiful, nay, powerful entry. It is simple yet strong and literally a rockstar for sure. I will gladly award FourPoints for this powerful entry!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Quadramind posted:

Official Submission

Beep Beep

Quadramind posted:

Official bonus submission!

Entry #2 is a rather special submission! Fast and furiously he makes his way across the globe. His decoration is rather slim, but quite functional! I will award Three Points for this rocking car!
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Stoner Sloth posted:

OFFICIAL SUBMISSION

alright now it took me awhile to find this one mate, and as you'll clearly see i've gone to a lot of trouble to take just the perfect photo of it to really capture the special qualities of it. it was hard work to get the lightning effect just right to decorate it but i think the results speak for themselves

Stoner Sloth posted:

OFFICIAL SUBMISSION

now you might think i've created quite a problem for myself here. you might think that indeed.

okay i probably have since first i'd have a lot of trouble shifting my rock and secondly, and more importantly, it would be a complete Australian Word of a move because Uluru is sacred to the Pitjantjatjara people of the area (Anangu in their language). so first i'll tell you a little about the rock while i think of how i'm going to accomplish this - it's a 348 meter tall sandstone formation and measures about 9 and a half kilometers around its perimeter.

it famously is red coloured to the presence of a large amount of iron oxide, it's also well known to change colour with the light leading to some pretty amazing photos. it's particularly spectactular at dawn and sunset, glowing a vibrant red. we know that people have been living around there for at least 10,000 years and probably much, much longer and they have many Dreamtime stories related to it though for the sake of brevity i'll leave that to the reader's own ability to find.

now while i've had you distracted telling you a little bit about my rock, i put in a few calls and was able to get this photo of where i left it - i think you'll agree it's a great shot...

.. taken from freakin' space!! i think you'll agree that i've gone to a lot of effort to get this spectacular placement of my rock as well as highlighting it with a special light show and i clearly deserve to win

Entry #3 was a surprise!
At first I was rather skeptical. A holy rock from downunder that is more a place than just a rock, how will he place that in a good home? He already has a perfect, sacred home! However, you washed my skepticism away with the powerful move of moving him into space. It may not be your rock and you could have worked on its decoration, but I think that's more a spiritual decoration than a color-based one, which I will accept! This tricky entry will award three points!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

biosterous posted:

on the one hand, it may seem a little sad to bring my rock and fuzz out to the garbage. but you must think of the purpose of these items:

the fuzz was created by a cat at play, and brought joy to the cat. it is now too small for the cat to notice and enjoy it

the design of the litter is to be removed from the box when it is no longer fresh, so that the cat will not be saddened by a stinky box

both fuzz and litter rock have fulfilled their purpose: improving the life of a cat. both are going peacefully to their final destination, content and satisfied. additionally, they have been given one last hurrah, presented to all of you, at the absolute peak of accomplishment

do not be saddened by throwing away of the litter and fuzz, but join with them in celebration of a life well lived

biosterous posted:

kitty litter is partly rocks i am pretty sure, and fuzz from a cat toy is thematic decor

Look at Entry #4, a small, tiny rockstar! He maybe wants to be big one day? For now, this entry certainly is worth something, it may not be as powerful as the other rocks and just its size is limiting the ability to wear decoration and color, but still, I will award tiny Three Points!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tiny Myers posted:

OFFICIAL SUBMISSION

ft. the model

A really, really strong entry #5, sadly without a follow-up! Maybe this extremely petable and lovely cat has stolen our rockstar to new places? We might never know! Still, a solid half-entry will be wroth two points! I just can't say no to kitties.
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your friend sk posted:

OFFICIAL SUBMISSION

i'm at work and can't go find a real rock, but i took the liberty of decorating THE rock

your friend sk posted:

OFFICIAL SUBMISSION

as much as i'd like to print the rock out and put him in the lawn, our printer isn't working right now. i brought him to wrestlemania instead. i hope all the fans enjoy seeing him

Entry #6 is no one other than kinda-rockstar Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson! He surely is decorated and he also definitely found a good place to be. However, is he a rock in the definition of this task? Yes, of course he is! After that scene in Untertale it's clear you can mistake other rocks from this rock.
This powerful, decorated and colorful entry will award equally powerful Four Points!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dumb Sex-Parrot posted:

OFFICIAL SUBMISSION

i went outside into the dark and STOLE this rock from my landlord

Dumb Sex-Parrot posted:

OFFICIAL SUBMISSION

I put the rock outside in a snug corner of the garden next to a big pile of leaves. I'm pretty sure we've got a hedgehog hibernating in it, so the rock is in good company!

Wow thanks

Entry #7 is nothing other than an absolute beauty. What a rockstar! Imagine the kind of music he can make! I have no choice butt to award the full Five Points for this magnificence!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rarity posted:

OFFICIAL SUBMISSION

Meet my friend Rocksanne

Rarity posted:

OFFICIAL SUBMISSION

Now you may have noticed that Rocksanne ain't no ordinary pebble

She's got flair

She's got style

You're not going to find her in a garden

Or under a tree

Or on the edge of a driveway

No, Rocksanne needs to be somewhere special

Somewhere worthy of her grace

Rocksanne is a queen

Rocksanne needs to live in a loving castle

Entry #8 blew my mind. Rocksanne is a superstar, a ruler we can trust in, a queen I would never dare to doubt. The aura, the look, the beautiful castle - this can never be anything else but another full Five Points for Rocksanne!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Charles Bukowski posted:

OFFICIAL SUBMISSION
I humbly submit my rock task parts 1 and 2. Here is what happened:

I could not find my favourite smooth stone I keep in my backpack, it would have been perfect for this. Instead I had to panic and think about where there were rocks? My walkway!

Hmm, it seems to have snowed. I think my boot can solve this problem!

drat right. Okay I've got the rock now. Now I have to paint it. Wait a second, I don't have paint. Why would I have paint? Okay well what do I have?

Store brand ketchup and a weed brush. Yeah I was in the scouts, its all about improvising.
Now lets get to the art!

There, my name with a happy yellow sun I drew with mustard and some of the ketchup to represent the fiery power of our solar friend.

Now it lives on the plastic table where I sit and smoke. It will live there until I no longer live here. Have a good day orbs.

Entry #9 made me hungry. The journey of how you got to this special rockstar and the way you made him tasty - this is magic, this is beauty, this is power. I love it, I'm ready for the next barbecue - along with tasty Four Points!

barnold posted:

oh hey....my rock is on the internet and in the yob. The Cloud� is most definitely not inside my home (though it is inside my heart)

Entry #10 was almost overseen by me! Sorry! No wonders though, what a sneaky rock we have here - straight from the limitations of work, far away from the chillness of the hammock where you clearly belong. This digital entry is certainly worth Two Points!

Thank you everyone for this amazing rock concert, what an amazing contest we had here, I love every single one of our rocks and I can't wait to see where this crazy taskmaster goes next!

Goons Are Gifts fucked around with this message at 00:28 on Feb 23, 2023

# ? Feb 23, 2023 00:19

Rarity: ~*4 LIFE*~

10/10 baby :clint:

_{I'm a pretty pony! Sig credits: How Wonderful!, Heather Papps, MAP20 Gotcha, Plant MONSTER.}

# ? Feb 23, 2023 00:26

Manifisto

thank you GaG for the scoring! I promised I'd keep a running total (as they do on the show), the current rankings are:

Rarity 10
Dumb Sex-Parrot 9
Finger Prince 9
your friend sk 7
biosterous 7
barnold 7
Stoner Sloth 7
Charles Bukowski 7
Quadramind 7
Tiny Myers 6
Saoshyant 3
Viginti Septem 3

but please note there are a lot of tasks left, plenty of opportunities for even someone who has not yet participated to walk away with first place!! and on that note, our next task will be announced tomorrow, Feb. 23 at around 10:00am EST! see you all then!

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Feb 23, 2023 00:37

Charles Bukowski: Taskmaster 2023 Second Place Winner

Thank you judge, very fair. Thank you for taking much much less time than it took Moola to judge the skulls.

Thank you Saoshyant for the lovely signature.

# ? Feb 23, 2023 00:41

Snuff Melange: ______________

...some men,
you just can't reach.
______________

Hi folks, Snuff "Acaster" Melange here. I was meant to be here on time, but nobody told me you lot were getting started. You're in for stiff competition next task, dweebs.
:cool:

# ? Feb 23, 2023 02:10

Charles Bukowski: Taskmaster 2023 Second Place Winner

Oh I didn't notice we were picking Taskmaster contenstants to emulate or act as archetypes for us. I've always resonated with Tim Key, cheat to win baby.

Thank you Saoshyant for the lovely signature.

# ? Feb 23, 2023 02:30

your friend sk: (ヤイケス!)

i insist on being johnny vegas

Join the BYOB Army

^{thank you again Saoshyant!!}

# ? Feb 23, 2023 02:41

Stoner Sloth

wow so uh tens of thousands of years of Australia history is worth two points less than gluing some googly eyes onto a rock and sticking it in front of a castle (which there's like what, 1 castle per 100 square cubits in the UK?)

but since we've been robbed here, let me just share with you one more thing about Uluru:

it's long been associated with a curse with those who feel they've stolen from the sacred rock suffering misfortunes ranging from kangaroos repeatedly throwing themselves in front of the person's landrover to unspecified disasters of all kinds. so much so that about 365 packages of stolen rocks from around Uluru are returned at great expense every year by people trying to rid themselves of 'The Curse of the Rock' - one person even going to the trouble of having a 35 kilogram slab of rock put back at vast expense to try and rid themselves of the bad luck they'd incurred by disrespecting Uluru.

just saying... it's not too late to hand out some bonus points and make amends :kiddo:

# ? Feb 23, 2023 03:36

Stoner Sloth

i didn't make this up for the competition by the way, a quick google will reveal many results but i'm sure we're not the superstitious types here and our noble Taskmaster(s) will make the right decision... if it were me i'd prudently not want to take the risk of such a curse but I'm sure they're made of stronger stuff.

what's that? no no, i'm find standing over here - less risk of highly improbably lightning strikes..

# ? Feb 23, 2023 03:43

Charles Bukowski: Taskmaster 2023 Second Place Winner

While I am respectful of other cultures and your threats of curses, I think this time your submission just wasn't zesty enough to impress our artbitrary judge(s). Maybe next time you could destroy part of your walkway like I did? No wait that's like exactly the opposite of the lesson of the Uluru you're trying to get across, shoot.

Thank you Saoshyant for the lovely signature.

# ? Feb 23, 2023 03:52

Stoner Sloth

Charles Bukowski posted:

While I am respectful of other cultures and your threats of curses, I think this time your submission just wasn't zesty enough to impress our artbitrary judge(s). Maybe next time you could destroy part of your walkway like I did? No wait that's like exactly the opposite of the lesson of the Uluru you're trying to get across, shoot.

far be it from me to threaten anyone, i am sure our Taskmasters are above such things, but i'm not even arguing the point about the fact I got NASA to take a photo (from freakin' space no less) which also shows an aurora. and let me tell you buddy, they were not easy to convince! i had to tell them it was for the sake of BYOB

i'm just saying that people have driven literally thousands of kilometers to try and rid themselves of The Curse... what people choose to do with that information is up to them :angel:

# ? Feb 23, 2023 04:03

Stoner Sloth

bonus points for trying to protect our brave Taskmaster from the cursed forces that might otherwise bedevil them are also acceptable!

# ? Feb 23, 2023 04:27

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# ? May 8, 2024 23:40

Stoner Sloth

heck i don't want anything to bedevil our dear Taskmaster!

# ? Feb 23, 2023 04:27

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > BYOB Taskmaster IS CONCLUDED FOR 2023, Congratulations To The Winners!

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