r/relationships: He is upset that his parents know he is a power bottom.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: He is upset that his parents know he is a power bottom.

«‹›140 »

DreamingofRoses: Jun 27, 2013; Nap Ghost

Molybdenum posted:

In Cincinnati chili cinnamon is a typical ingredient along with some kind of sweetener (1tbsp per batch kind of ratio), but chocolate/cocoa is a red herring to protect recipes.

I mean a small amount of unsweetened cocoa powder is an excellent addition to a traditional chili flavor. It adds a bit of bitterness.

# ? Apr 18, 2024 22:40

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 3, 2024 01:30

100 degrees Calcium: Jan 23, 2011

ad090 posted:

AITA for telling my wife that yes my job is more important than hers since without my job we couldn�t afford this life

It makes sense not to move and it's bonkers that his wife doesn't understand that, but it's absolutely insane to say something like "my job is more important" to your spouse. Have some tact for gods sake.

# ? Apr 18, 2024 22:42

mystes: May 31, 2006

Yeah they probably shouldn't move but that's absolutely the worst possible way to say that

Edit: Although she was using that wording first and it seems like he just got exasperated from arguing and then finally used it

mystes fucked around with this message at 22:48 on Apr 18, 2024

# ? Apr 18, 2024 22:44

snergle: Aug 3, 2013; A kind little mouse!

StrangersInTheNight posted:

My initial post was how QR codes ultimately become a class filter because not everyone has access to that level of technology. I did not say it was happening everywhere, although eventually it likely will.

it's not an issue for you, that doesn't mean it isn't a serious issue for the large amount of people it affects. just like needing a car to live in the US is a prerequisite that causes trouble and class divides, soon everyone will simply need a smartphone to be considered a valid part of society, and our view will be that anyone who falls outside of that standard is unimportant to the conversation. it's already happening now, in this very discussion.

i dont own a cell phone but i fully admit i could if i wanted to and im on ssi-d. it has caused me issues but im just a wierdo who doesnt want to keep track of a phone and replace it when i inevidently break it. if a restraunt only had qr code menus ide just leave. cant exactly afford to go anywhere but a cheap chain though with inflation.

i do love the kiosks the cheap chains have but i hate that they have 0 cashiers now. they basically cut a bunch of jobs out. they werent great jobs but i know people who needed them

snergle fucked around with this message at 22:51 on Apr 18, 2024

# ? Apr 18, 2024 22:46

Mordiceius: Nov 10, 2007; Can't post for 6 hours!

100 degrees Calcium posted:

It makes sense not to move and it's bonkers that his wife doesn't understand that, but it's absolutely insane to say something like "my job is more important" to your spouse. Have some tact for gods sake.

Yeah, this is a situation where I would say "You're not wrong, but YTA."

The question of the post isn't about should we move or not, the question it is about his response to her suggestion. She's being unrealistic, but he's being a dick.

# ? Apr 18, 2024 22:50

Scathach: Apr 4, 2011; You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.

mystes posted:

Yeah they probably shouldn't move but that's absolutely the worst possible way to say that

Edit: Although she was using that wording first and it seems like he just got exasperated from arguing and then finally used it

Honestly she's bringing it on herself. I don't know why she even works when she'd make more money staying home and then she could hang out with the kid and do fun poo poo all day. I mean I know being a parent is hard and not all fun, but it doesn't sound like much of a choice when it's between staying home with a kid and losing money at a dead-end job. She's being stubborn and prideful and she used those words first anyway.

E God knows I'd kill myself if I was stuck at home with a kid, but I also don't have kids for this reason. I figure someone with kids might feel different.

Scathach fucked around with this message at 22:54 on Apr 18, 2024

# ? Apr 18, 2024 22:51

mystes: May 31, 2006

Scathach posted:

Honestly she's bringing it on herself. I don't know why she even works when she'd make more money staying home and then she could hang out with the kid and do fun poo poo all day. I mean I know being a parent is hard and not all fun, but it doesn't sound like much of a choice when it's between staying home with a kid and losing money at a dead-end job. She's being stubborn and prideful and she used those words first anyway.

It seems like she wants to work and she feels like taking this job would help her move her career forward. I don't think it's fair to say that she should have to be a SAHM if that's not what she wants to do even if that would financially make more sense.

But moving to another state so she can get a slightly better job is clearly not a great idea if OP's job is paying the bills

# ? Apr 18, 2024 22:54

Magic Hate Ball: May 6, 2007; ha ha ha!
you've already paid for this

I don't really know what tone she was using but it sounds like she was being passive aggressive about it, like "ohhh we can't move because of your big important job", which, yeah, reality check, if you don't want the water to stop running don't turn the faucet off.

# ? Apr 18, 2024 22:55

Mordiceius: Nov 10, 2007; Can't post for 6 hours!

WIBTA for accepting an heirloom instead of giving it to my adopted cousin

quote:

My (18f) grandma who passed before I was born had a beautiful jewelry set passed down from the women in her family. In her will, as she had no daughter, she asked her eldest son, my uncle Jim (51m), to take care of the jewelry. I have only seen pictures of the set growing up.

Uncle Jim�s been married for 8 years to uncle Bob (45m). He adopted uncle Bob�s daughter Lara (19f) a few years after. Lara and I got along OK as the only girls in our generation thought we have our own interests.

Uncle Jim was recently diagnosed with cancer and he started putting together his will. A week before, my family heard that uncle Jim had a fight with uncle Bob and went to stay with his friend and last we knew he took a spontaneous vacation overseas. A few days later Lara and uncle Bob asked to meet me.

Apparently, the reason they fought was because uncle Jim decided to leave the jewelry set to me in his will. He argued with uncle Bob that my grandma would have wanted me, her biological grandchild, to have the jewelry. Uncle Bob and Lara argued that since he adopted Lara, Lara is now the oldest girl in this generation and deserves the jewelry set. Uncle Jim stood his grounds, they fought, and he left.

They asked me to convince uncle Jim to give Lara the jewelry set, saying it would be the right thing to do.

I, however, felt that if Uncle Jim believed the jewelry should belong to me, who am I to question his decision? I told Lara and uncle Bob that I would do as uncle Jim wanted me to. They called me a greedy AH. WIBTA for accepting the jewelry set?

# ? Apr 18, 2024 22:57

Kitfox88: Aug 21, 2007; Anybody lose their glasses?

He worded it weirdly but it sounds like

quote:

We arguing back and forth and she kept saying my job is more important.

she kept pushing this out in a way like 'What you think YOUR job is more important?" and at a certain point if she's Not Getting It yeah, he has to go 'Yes, my job is more important because it is the only reason we have the quality of life we do and are not going homeless or hand to mouth.'

If I had to I'd say ESH but I can't super come down on the guy for getting frustrated, going purely by what he's said.

Magic Hate Ball posted:

I don't really know what tone she was using but it sounds like she was being passive aggressive about it, like "ohhh we can't move because of your big important job", which, yeah, reality check, if you don't want the water to stop running don't turn the faucet off.

yeah, exactly, this.

# ? Apr 18, 2024 22:57

Mordiceius: Nov 10, 2007; Can't post for 6 hours!

AITA for telling my husband's cousin she shouldn't have thrown a gender reveal party?

quote:

Both me (29F) and my husband's cousin Lena (fake name; 27F) are pregnant. I'm due in late May, while she's due in August. My baby will be my second child (I have a three year old son), and hers is her first.

Lena and I aren't particularly close (and to be honest, I'm not fond of her), but since we're both pregnant, we've been talking more often than usual. It was during those conversations that she expressed wanting a baby girl. She specifically said she couldn't see herself raising a boy.

Last month, Lena hosted a gender reveal party, and found out she's having a son.

She was visibly disappointed after finding out the sex of her baby. She threw on a fake smile during the actual reveal, but didn't keep it up for long. For the rest of the party, Lena remained frustrated, and was cold and short with everyone who tried to congratulate her.

I don't know if Lena told anyone else that she wanted a girl, but her disappointment has gotten pretty obvious. Since her party, she's been less excited about her pregnancy. We've been speaking less, because she doesn't even want to talk about her baby anymore. Her sadness has earned her some sympathy and support from my in-laws.

My baby shower will take place this weekend. I'm having a girl, but my husband and I decided to wait until birth to reveal that. As such, none of my in-laws have been informed.

A couple days ago, Lena called to ask about my baby's gender. She said that if I'm expecting a girl, she won't come to the baby shower. When I asked why, she said she's still "mourning her daughter", and doesn't want to be reminded that she's not having a girl. She also said that since she'd shared her reveal with the family, it was only fair I told her.

I reminded her we weren't telling anyone until birth, but told her she was welcome to avoid the shower if she wasn't comfortable attending. Lena continued to pressure me to tell her, but I stood my ground. After some back and forth, she told me I was being inconsiderate, as I knew how devastated she'd been. She said she deserved to know if I was about to "rub my happiness in her face."

That's when I ran out of patience. I told Lena that if having a boy was that awful to her, she shouldn't have thrown herself a gender reveal in the first place. I said that she could stop celebrating her pregnancy if she wanted to, but she can't dictate what I do about mine.

Lena is furious. She told my in-laws that I was kicking her out of my baby shower. I told everyone the truth, but many are still on her side. They're saying that it's rude of me to dismiss Lena's pain, and that I should be more graceful towards her.

My husband is completely on my side, as is my brother-in-law. As much as I don't think I was wrong to stand my ground, I do recognize that her feelings towards her baby are none of my business. I was both frustrated and exhausted at the time, and I know I would have reacted differently otherwise.

AITA?

# ? Apr 18, 2024 23:00

mystes: May 31, 2006

Kitfox88 posted:

she kept pushing this out in a way like 'What you think YOUR job is more important?" and at a certain point if she's Not Getting It yeah, he has to go 'Yes, my job is more important because it is the only reason we have the quality of life we do and are not going homeless or hand to mouth.'

If I had to I'd say ESH but I can't super come down on the guy for getting frustrated, going purely by what he's said.

Honestly it's essentially her fault for framing the argument in a way to force OP to say that her job is less important.

She sprung this on OP with no warning and then refused to listen to the reasons why it was a bad idea, and then OP gave up and repeated the phrase she had been using, so while it would have been better not to phrase it that way, I'm kind of leaning toward NTA if the description of how it happened is accurate.

# ? Apr 18, 2024 23:01

Shanghaied: Oct 12, 2004; BIG PAD

Kitfox88 posted:

He worded it weirdly but it sounds like

she kept pushing this out in a way like 'What you think YOUR job is more important?" and at a certain point if she's Not Getting It yeah, he has to go 'Yes, my job is more important because it is the only reason we have the quality of life we do and are not going homeless or hand to mouth.'

If I had to I'd say ESH but I can't super come down on the guy for getting frustrated, going purely by what he's said.

yeah, exactly, this.

He really hosed up the wording, but I suppose I'd get pretty exasperated too if my partner applied for a job out of state and only tells me about it as a fait accompli after they received an offer. Like that's just an extremely lovely thing to do.

Shanghaied fucked around with this message at 23:05 on Apr 18, 2024

# ? Apr 18, 2024 23:02

Neito: Feb 18, 2009; 😌Finally, an avatar the describes my love of tech❤️‍💻, my love of anime💖🎎, and why I'll never see a real girl 🙆‍♀️naked😭.

Mordiceius posted:

AITA for telling my husband's cousin she shouldn't have thrown a gender reveal party?

Well, good to know that your in-laws are never gonna know their grandkids cus they're complete monsters.

Christ, gently caress these people.

# ? Apr 18, 2024 23:03

mystes: May 31, 2006

Nobody is ever the rear end in a top hat for telling anyone not to throw a gender reveal party considering their safety track record

# ? Apr 18, 2024 23:06

Mordiceius: Nov 10, 2007; Can't post for 6 hours!

Have a couple more while we're at it:

AITA for defending my dads "toxic masculinity"

quote:

I (21m) was talking to a friend (20f) and we were talking about how she was sick because something was getting passed around at her work, that she's had for a while. She was talking about how I somehow "never" got sick and I said well yeah I was a weird kid might have helped my immune system or something.

Then I said oh i remember whenever I did get sick as a kid my mom would do this thing where she got a bunch of boiling water in a pot, put some tea bags in it then shed put it on the table and I'd kneel on a chair over it, with a towel over my head so the steam was trapped and it'd clear up my nose. The tea was propabally just tradition or something the main thing was the boiling water and steam, might help you. She asked if that felt wierd, and I said yeah, it gets ur face all wrinkly and sweaty and after a little it gets hard to breathe but it rlly helps at the end of the day.

I then joked about how my dad would always try to challenge me to get me to do it longer for more effect, where he'd basically call me a bitch or like a pussy or a little girl (rough translation from our language, but it could be like any of those things) and as a kid I'd always fall for it and go for longer. She said that's horrible. I said what do you mean, he was just trying to get me to go for longer to help me. And it was always playful. She said something like that can't be playful. I said he said that to challenge me because without a challenge I'd chicken out pretty fast so there was like no effect, it helped me. She said that that was a toxic masculine behavior. I said well it was literally just to challenge me for my own good, besides that's like a rough translation it's just like a ruder way to say coward. She said my dad calling me that was just toxic, and I shouldn't be defending it I said she really needed to stop talking about things she had no idea about. She said whatever and was essentially silent for the rest of the call either then giving callouts on the games we were playing and I'm starting to think I took it to far

AITA for calling my MIL and FIL naive?

quote:

Ever since I (29f) got married four months ago my ILs (60s) have brought up the fact I didn't invite anyone from my biological family to the wedding and have asked me why I don't at least make an attempt to reconnect with my half siblings. I explained to them that I did not feel it would be worth my time. My ILs argued that it has been more than a decade since I last saw or spoke to any of them and a lot of things could have changed in that time. They told me they see how longingly I look at my husband and siblings sometimes when they're being typical siblings or how I stare off in the distance at times when we're all together and I experience being part of a happy family with them. They say they know I long for that with my own biological family.

I admitted to them that I wish it had been possible but I know in my heart of hearts that it's not possible and I found acceptance in that a long time ago.

I feel I should touch on some background here. My father was a married man when he met and had an affair with my mother of which I am the result. His family found out about me when I was a baby or a toddler and his marriage ended as a result. His other children were in their teens at the time and they hated me for being born. I have a number of scattered memories of them. I never lived with them. But I saw them on occasion when I was with my father. They were hateful, they were cruel, and they made it very clear to me at a very young age that they did not want anything to do with me. My father would whine for them to be nicer. But he never really stood up for me and he never tried protecting me either. My mother grew to resent me for the ending of the affair/her relationship with my father. She treated me terribly from middle school onward until I cut off all contact when I was 19. I was 17 the last time I saw or heard from any of my half siblings. I was the same age the last time I heard from my father or saw him.

I explained my background in more detail with my ILs. They knew I was an "affair baby" (a term I hate because I did not choose to be born to a married man and another woman) but not how much the distain expressed in my childhood. My ILs asked if I had tried reaching out to my father's ex wife because surely she would want her kids and me to have a better relationship. But if I couldn't reach her, they said they bet my half siblings have been waiting for me to make contact for years and would love to know me today because family.

I was actually startled by how naive they sounded saying all this. I told them there was no way the ex wife would help because she hadn't wanted me anywhere near her kids. I also told them my half siblings were all older than I am now when I last saw them and they still hated me so I held no hope for change. They told me I didn't know and I told them I could not afford to be as naive as them. They were hurt I called them that. My husband told them it was naive to think the way they did.

AITA?

AITA for not taking my mom back in?

quote:

I left my mother moved in with my family about two years ago. It was an adjustment for her because it became my house my rules type of thing.

It took some adjusting because she always wanted to steamroll my wife and do things her way but I reminded my mom that we let her live here.

My sister Jane needed to find a place to live and was one of the reasons my mom became homeless trying to help keep Jane afloat into adulthood. Jane has 4 children but has custody of two. These children are not well behaved and has been in and out of the foster system and has behavior issues.

Jane comes over to our house in the middle of the day. Something not allowed. She has her two kids with her on a school day. I and my family sees this on a ring cam. My mother knows we have one.

My family and I are at work and school but we see her enter. What happened next is I see Jane carry thing out with the help of my mom. Food, bedding and couple of my kids toys. Like loads up Jane�s car.

I call my mom. No answer. So my wife calls 911. Calls it a burglary. The police show up and arrest Jane and while my wife was on the phone my mother as well. My mom just started giving our stuff away to Jane.

We let my mom set in jail while my family and I discussed what is going on and what is wrong with my mom. Bail was set and now mom has been in jail overnight and she called crying. We do not want her back at the house and she has given the sob story of Jane is going through a rough time. I have heard that story my entire life and mom swore she would not get involved with Jane�s issues when she moved in and not allow Jane into our home.

It�s almost 48 hours go by of my mom�s jail and we decided not to bail her out. We contacted a church group that she occupied helps and they set her up in a temporary shelter for women and took some of my mom�s things to it. Planning on storing the rest.

Then we bailed my mom out. She complained ahead of time needed a shower, how could I take so long, she was hungry and all sorts of verbal abuse. I took her to the church shelter for women and left her with one of deacons of the church. Mom realized she wasn�t moving back in with us.

There is just one uncle from my dad�s side left that said will take my mom in but he lives out of state and because of my mom�s pending changes she cannot leave the state and the shelter is temporarily. My wife said she is not taking my mother back in so I don�t know what to do with her.

# ? Apr 18, 2024 23:07

Scathach: Apr 4, 2011; You know that thing where you sleep on your arm funny and when you wake up it's all numb? Yeah that's my whole world right now.

gently caress Lena's pain. It's hella gross to mourn a kid that didn't exist because you didn't want a kid with a penis. She's gonna be that creepy "let me act like your mother for a day" aunt in a few years. Be a good parent, dammit, love your kids regardless of genitals.

Alright, get the volcano, we're throwing all these gender-reveal people in right now.

# ? Apr 18, 2024 23:07

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

'i never saw myself raising a boy' basically means she fantasized so hard over having a little girl she broke her own goddamn brain, bc you threw the loving dice on a 50-50 gamble here. i dunno why but i'm imagining the sort of person who refuses to consider the option they dislike happening because they believe even acknowledging it will actually have some effect.

and I mean - she can still try to have more kids, drat. she's not for-sure never gonna be a girl-mom, unless she also only ever planned to have one.

# ? Apr 18, 2024 23:12

Mordiceius: Nov 10, 2007; Can't post for 6 hours!